Original subtitles

Previously, on The Real Housewives of New York City.

He knows I don't like.

Richard loved it here.

Who doesn't love it here?

Yeah, I did too. Ever since Dorinda's been renovating all this damage in the

Berkshires, it's really dredging up a lot with her. She's like talking about

Richard non -stop.

Everything I do with you, Jinzy, is not good.

I'm so sick of people talking for me and taking their judgments about me. I'm so

sick of it.

I'm not always right.

But I'm never wrong.

I'm no one's accessory. I'm the whole lifestyle brand.

I don't need to find love. I love myself.

I may float like a butterfly, but I sing like a bitch.

Life isn't a fairy tale, but I'm hoping mine's the exception.

Raise the curtain, lower the lights. I'm taking center stage in my life.

That's what I'm talking about, right there. Hey, this is Dale.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Now you're New Yorker.

Hello. Hey, how are you? How beautiful is the highlight?

It's gorgeous. You know what? I never get down here.

Hi. Hey, how are you?

How are you?

How are you, honey?

Good to see you. You got faux fur already. That's the perfect jacket to go

your gray jumpsuit that Sonja sent you. I don't know, right?

I like this area because it's quiet.

Very pretty.

How you doing, kid? I'm pretty good.

I'm good.

Okay, so we went from pretty good to good to okay.

No, I'm good.

You're good? Yeah. Not great?

I'm not great.

But I'm good.

I'm better than I was the last time I saw you.

Listen to me. Come over here. Come over here.

Honey, are you okay?

I'm just really overwhelmed by a lot of stuff right now.

I want to live my best life, and my best life has to be in a certain box.

What's your best life?

Being in a greeting card business?

I'm in a much better place right now. I'm single. You like being single?

I like that I'm... I like... Yeah, well, no. I don't like being picked on. Okay,

make up your mind. No. Martin is really not easy to talk to, but he forces you

to sort of fight him. You know, you're fighting him with your fists, and you're

fighting him with your words, and he really makes me be honest with myself.

So you've got all these women around you, right? And do they instigate you?

girlfriend and I have had this, like, tension over nothing, and she is saying

that I'm not sharing or being open and honest when...

That's all I'm doing.

Who's the one you have the problem with? My friend, Dorinda.

What's her name? Dorinda.

Dorinda? Yeah.

Where do you guys get these names from?

I don't know. Eddie?

I don't know. I don't know. I know.

I just really don't know where to go with Dorinda because I don't like

with friends. Like, I just want it to be pleasant.

And I don't really feel like she wants that.

I think that she likes to fight. I don't. So I just don't. It's

It's all frustrating.

Did you get into a fight last night? No, it was not physical. Well, I didn't

think so. Yeah, I doubt you've been in a physical fight in a while. But a verbal

fight? Yeah, it was pretty verbal, yeah. And what happened? Now, I don't know

what exactly happened between Tinsley and Dorinda last night. They were like

almost like in a freezing fight.

Everything I do with you, Tinsley.

I've decided with Tinsley. I tried.

I'm done. I'm done. I'm done with it. I don't care. I mean, you know me. I can

eat Tinsley. She's like a mint in my mouth.

Gone. You know what I mean? Gone.

She's a mint in my mouth. Oh, I guess it tastes kind of good when you're talking

to her. I don't have to keep anything in my mouth. She put the wall up and she's

like, I'm not interested.

Well, I mean, but you have been. No, I don't. For someone who's not interested

in Tinsley, Dorinda spends a lot of time talking about her.

I'm not interested.

There is no there there in my mind. I want to talk to her by myself, because

that's the problem. They all jump in, and I can't ever get my, like, I can't

anything.

Come on, let's see what we got. All right, so let's do this. I'm Dorito, all

right? And I'm Dorito, and we're going to box. You ready?

How would you fight her? Oh, Dorita. I was like, who are you talking about?

Dorita? Dorinda.

Dorinda? Okay.

When did she change her name? Okay, Dorita.

Okay. OK.

What am I doing?

What am I trying to do? Well, apparently, you look like you hit me in

OK, I'm not going to hit you.

Sorry. You can't hit me in the nuts.

Sorry. Come on.

OK. Right there.

Yeah. I don't want to hit you in the head. You have to, because I'm going to

you in the head. No. No, you better not.

I'm going to hit you in the head.

What? Come on.

All right.

Come on.

Come on. Please.

Take her like a doormat. That's why you're unhappy.

I'm not unhappy.

Well, why were you crying the last time about him?

I was just feeling confused.

Sin's down.

I'm done.

Sin's down.

Done. Done.

So you give up then? You quit? I gave up. Okay.

She is a type with a mother who's overbearing, all right, from the South,

You just have to accept her for what she is. That's what I decided. I just think

sometimes Dorinda is a little too hard on Tinsley.

I think the fact that Tinsley stopped seeing Brian, because normally she would

just keep going and keep trying to make that work. The fact that she stopped it

and she realized it wasn't working, I think that's really great.

Me too. I think that's a big start for her. I see big changes in Tinsley. I

mean, she's so free now and she's really comfortable with herself. I don't know.

Something must be going on with...

Dorinda, it's a little deeper. I don't want to use the word jealous, but I'm

going to use the word jealous.

Tisley's always been taken care of, and Richard used to take care of Dorinda. I

think she misses that life, and Tisley pretty much has that life.

I just think we're all kind of in the same place right now, if you think about

it. We're all in a place where...

We have a void of a partner in her life, a partner. Like, I really believe that,

no, I know, Dorinda missed having Richard or having a partner to help her

Berkshire. Hands -on guy.

And then whenever John tries to help her with something, she's like, I got this.

It's a different relationship, and it's working. They've been together for seven

years. But she may have missed, it was cut short with Richard, that lavish, I'm

married to a banker lifestyle.

Right. What can I say? Apples and oranges when it comes to Richard and

Richard was a graduate from Harvard, on the board of Harvard. I mean, what is,

John, I don't even know if he even graduated college. He's not on the board

anything. John doesn't take care of her. I mean, she has to take care of John

for good to think.

So, I mean, he's not, yeah, no.

We're all sort of like drifting, I think, right now. We're not sure what

next step is. Right now, you live a life of doubt.

And what's the antidote to doubt? Faith.

You know what you want, you know what you like, you know. Nobody else.

Do whatever the f*** you want to do. Do I know?

That's it.

But I don't know if I know. You do know. You know. You know it all at once. Let

me tell you something.

You are a f***ing legend.

There will never be another Dinsdale.

Ever. Because there's not one at Tinsley.

Coming up.

You know why she wants a f***ing bitch? She got a f***ing bitch, didn't she? And

I served it warm.

Coming.

Coming, coming.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, look at you. You look beautiful. How are you doing? Look

at me. I feel so bad for you. You don't feel good. Thank you so much for coming

over. Luann and I, we've shared similar obstacles in our lives.

There's a kindred spirit connection between me and her that I felt when I

her. I've never been to her. I appreciate it. Wow, I love the building.

It's so good. Oh, you can tell a lot by...

Just the corridors, darling. Right, exactly. And the doormen are like my

surrogate fathers.

They're the best. Are they? I brought you some food because I know. Thank you.

I'm starving. Okay, good. Let's eat. And I thought you might be hungry, so

should I bring it? Over here, over here.

I don't think that table's big enough. This is my little setup. I don't think

that table's going to be big enough for all the food that I brought. I'll make

it work.

So what do you think of Leah's apartment?

Hmm.

Do you really want to know?

Church people, amazing.

Hmm, really cool.

This is my extravagant dining room where I eat my 10 course meals.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, boy.

Let's see.

This is my little, my little.

area my my dead room whatever it is i'm like never even in but cool great i gave

her the full room because i'm like you know what and where's oh she's got the

big bed she's got the big bed i have all her closets though but she's only here

half the time right that's new york you know that's how we live uh that's how we

do it in the place i love how humble she is

I'm trying to bring these ivy plants.

I have this down here. I know.

I've been watering them now so much because, look, I, you know.

Oh, well. You seriously have a green thumb.

Most people come to my apartment and are pretty impressed with it, unless you're

in the 1%, which I'm not, and there's no shame in that.

Sometimes it's not about the size. It's about the vibe.

So I heard you had a drink at the comedy show. What's going on with that, by the

way? Oh,

I thought it was water and I was thirsty, so I took a big sip of it and

vodka. And I was like, oh, okay.

And so I took two sips of it, or three, and then I went on stage.

And you know what? It was like I was okay. I never really had...

a big problem with alcohol other than falling into a bush on a crazy girl's

in mexico i

just

feel like if i want to have a drink i'm in at a point where

i can do so if i want to i'm not on probation anymore that's how i feel too

i mean for years i didn't drink and i'm like This is crazy that I've been told

that this thing right here is the end of it. My death is in this bottle.

I don't believe that. I've been through hell while not drinking, being

overmedicated, being in toxic relationships, all this and that.

Pretty sure the glass of wine is going to be fine for me.

And I'm like, I don't believe that. You're told that, hey, this drink right

here, you have no control over it. That's not empowering.

And that's bulls**t because this is just a drink.

What's it going to do?

I hate these things.

1985 is gone.

Like,

I am in such a different place now than I was when I stopped drinking in 2009. I

mean, beyond. I've done so much self -work and, you know, and all of that.

just feel like, you know what? Give yourself a break.

Give yourself a break. Seriously.

Don't listen to anybody. I'm just listening to myself, which is, it feels

you know, to think that I can now, you know, give myself permission to say, I'm

going to have a glass of wine with you girls. I know. Or two. Yeah.

If I want to. But I'm, you know, I have that sense of control now, which I

didn't before.

Right. I'm somebody who lives moment by moment.

And the moment was that I wanted to have a vodka soda. So I did.

And it wasn't a big deal. That's it. I'm taking off my life jacket. I'm getting

in the pool with the ladies, and I'm going to swim. I'm not sinking. I'm

swimming. Did you see Paige's excited chance?

I think it was.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. She showed it to me about, well, you know what? I texted

Dorinda. And?

Hello there, lady.

Hi. How's it going?

You look nice.

You look so cute.

Look what I'm reading right now. I'm sure you've read it like everyone else.

I heard you're back on the market.

Does John know?

I look great, don't I? John looks great, by the way, too.

According to page six, Dorinda's taking a break from her longtime boyfriend.

planted this do you think ramona didn't know she went come on fess up the

breakup with john is sad i mean it's terrible but i also know that i have to

what's best for me now and i've realized that my expectation levels have grown

this is what i want now this is what i need and i need to find the right

that's willing to be engaged in that and i don't think that's bad i think that's

honesty I love John, and I'll always love John. There's no big fight.

But I feel bad because, you know, John feels terrible because we love each

other. Right. And I love him, and I don't know what will come of it. I just

that I... Don't you feel, too, like you're growing so fast?

The need for John has kind of dropped off. When Dorinda's husband died, he was

there.

To pick up the pieces. She has so much love for this person who helped her in

such a bad time of her life, you know. And John was there. And listen, this is

nothing against John. Right. You know, John is John.

But I just don't feel like, I feel like Dorinda's outgrown him. Was I surprised

when I found out about Dorinda and John?

Not really.

But it's weird to read it in page six.

I don't know a lot about John, but what I will say is that I know a hell of a

lot more about Dorinda's late husband, Richard.

So what does that say?

Well, now she's single like the rest of us. I knew this was coming. I knew it

before she knew it, so I wasn't surprised.

It's a little hypocritical that I'm finding out about, you know, John and

Dorinda breaking up through page six and not through Dorinda. You know, the

person that, you know, shares so much and is so open. You know, it's a big

about sharing.

And how come I didn't hear about it, Dorinda? I said to my mom the other day

walking, I want to be super selfish with myself.

Do it.

You need it. We were just saying that the other day. We need to take care of

ourselves now. We don't have time to be worried if our boyfriends are out at a

party without us. And I do that. I need a house cat right now, and he wants to

be an outdoor cat.

The door opens up a little bit, just like an outdoor cat.

I'm like, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Hello, kitty.

Kitty, come home.

My kitty's going to stay home.

Clothes for business, even.

For now. We should really do something for Dorenda to take her mind off of all

this. Let's get the hell out of Dodge. There's like this place I know about

where you can go apple picking.

That'd be so cute. Not that we're going to be picking apples, but I thought the

maze could be fun.

I think I'm going to take full advantage of this breakup. And I thought, let's

go be kids, take a hayride, and just forget about the city for a day.

And maybe we got to get you a bigger coffee table. But I don't want to take

too much, like, you know what I mean? A little wider.

Maybe a little wider. Just a little. We could put the sushi on. I know.

Coming up.

Dorinda, what's going on with John?

What's going on with John is...

I

came prepared.

I've got the sweater, I've got the makeup, I've got the pills. Look what

got going on here.

Wow, this looks really good, Luann. Hey, girl.

We hear Ramona before we see her.

Hello. Hi.

How are you? Hi.

You're in the bed.

Luann, I'm very excited about this trip.

Right? So tell us exactly what we can expect.

So as soon as we get to the orchard, we're going to have lunch by the pumpkin

patch. Thank you.

There's a corn maze.

There's pumpkin picking. There's hay rides.

There's a winery tasting later.

So there's all kinds of fun things to do. They have a store where you can get

the apple pies and cider donuts.

I love that. Apple cider.

It's apple cider. Apple cider donuts. Apple cider donuts.

My favorite. So it's like, aren't we lucky? It's like the perfect day. The

weather is gorgeous.

The weather is perfect for it. And what about this van, okay?

Hello. Right?

Nice. I love it. I never saw such a gorgeous van before. I know, right? I'm

excited to be with the girls. I'm not excited to drink more wine. I really

like to just have fun. Maybe I'll have a little cider.

You know, enjoy the ride.

Enjoy the outdoors.

A healthy day.

Where are we?

We're here, just in weed orchards.

I think we're here. Look at all the apple orchards.

Here we go.

I'm excited. I like a winery.

Hi. Welcome to the farm. Thank you.

I mean,

come on. It's never too early for wine. It's called breakfast wine.

It's normal.

Wow, isn't it gorgeous?

Oh, my God, they have a petting zoo.

How you doing?

Aw.

Look, he's hornier than Ramona.

Okay, only you would be wearing huge diamond earrings and heels when we're

on an apple -picking place. I think you're wearing the same size heel. No, I

have cowboy boots.

Last I checked, you've got diamonds on.

Oh, I forgot I had diamonds on.

Well, yours looks bigger. You have the big hoop.

Oh, my God, Dorinda, where'd you get that?

Let's just each just have one glass of wine.

Just one glass.

No more than one full glass. I promise.

I'm not really...

In the mindset to drink today, but I'm with my girls, and they make the wine

here. I'm going to miss out on this.

Hail to the no.

All right, girls, lunch is served.

That's a healthy lunch. I love it.

Right? What a beautiful day.

Cheers. It's a good girlfriend.

We're a good group.

Get the phone out. Sorry, would you stop with the phone?

We're getting obnoxious.

I'm capturing the moment.

And you eat one salad?

Jolinda, what's going on with John?

What's going on with John is... Of course, Elise,

the instigator, has brought up the subject of John, which I'm very happy

because I wasn't going to do it.

You know, seven years, just doing a little reset.

Nothing big, no big story to report.

I always will say I'll always have his feet at my table.

But, you know, you change.

And I think the thing about me is that I have changed. So the person that John

met, you know, was probably different.

You were broken. Period.

You were broken. You know, but over the last seven years, you grow a lot. And

this whole thing has been such a good process because it's made me really.

reevaluate like even with the house waking up again i'm like now this is

i'm not even going to call the house richer than mine anymore that's my house

going through this whole process with the house flooding breaking the rib and

making these decisions about john it's actually really allowed me to mourn

richard for the first time because now he's not only gone hannah has moved out

and i'm making a decision to be alone and it's the first time that i am okay

with it It's not easy for me to be that person and tell everybody that kind of

stuff because obviously you open yourself up to all kinds of opinion and

criticism. It's called sharing that we all do. Right.

It's really hard, particularly when people judge you.

Hi, I call both.

It's called sharing. You know, the thing that you supposedly said that I wasn't

doing, even though I was doing it. And now you're saying that you don't want to

do it because you might get judged or something.

You're a total hypocrite. Different rules for different people.

Sorry, just sort of resonates a little bit. Listen, don't comment. My gum lasts

longer than your relationship, okay? My gum.

Your gum? My chewing gum lasts longer than your relationship.

I didn't know you for the first 50 years. I don't want to know you for the

Listen, don't comment. My gum lasts longer than your relationship, okay?

Your gum? My chewing gum lasts longer than your relationship. Or the one

that or that?

Yeah. Yeah, three years. Not only are you not value -added, you're un -value

-added. I don't care what you have to say. You're invincible.

You know what? I'm invisible. I'm actually not even talking to you. Oh,

I don't really care that much about you right now. Dorinda, that's not

invisible. You say that. That's Dorinda.

You know, Dorinda, in the past, always would have had these little outbursts of

anger. But it's so much worse now.

Can you guys say one nice thing about each other? One. One. Yes, you can. Yes,

you can. You're not that Manichaean. You can say one nice thing. I think Tinsley

is enough.

That's not nice.

Dorinda's using Tinsley as a punching bag.

Okay, all right, you may not agree with everything Tinsley's doing, but to go on

and on and be so vicious about it.

I mean, thank God Tinsley's around, because I don't want that to happen to

I really want...

You just sound like a bully and you're mean, Dorinda.

You're mean. If this is Dorinda not interested in Tinsley, what the f***

Dorinda interested in Tinsley look like? You guys, honestly, we have to be

holding each other up. We have to be holding each other up, not bringing each

other down.

I can't edit myself to dumbness. I can't edit myself to stupidity.

This needs to take a nap now, sir.

You seem like you are very insensitive to anything that I have going on in my

life. I'm sorry. You also seem like a bully. I'm sorry. And like a mean

Because you know what? You're judging me on my life. I don't judge you on yours.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Calm down. Let me finish!

I'm scared.

I'm scared, Luann. Will you protect me? Seriously, calm down. Stop touching me.

Did you call her when you heard they broke up? We're not speaking that much

right now. Then why are you trying to get in?

At this point, as much as I'd like to help Tinsley, it's hard to understand

when she's speaking that high -pitched voice. She can't take her seriously.

I sure as hell don't.

I don't care.

For someone that doesn't care about me, for someone that's really insignificant,

you give a lot of shit about me. Because all you do is talk about me.

So stop talking about me. We'll sit here. I won't talk about you. And you

talk about me.

I just don't like being ganged up on. It's so frustrating.

I just feel like, you know what? I mean, why even try to talk? Why even try to

be friends sometimes?

Because I don't think that they really even care.

I know. I know. Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Don't, don't let her get to you. Don't let her get to you.

It's not just her.

Don't let her get to you.

I know, it's not. No, believe me, I've been there. I know.

Don't let him see you cry.

Don't let him see you cry. Don't let him see you cry. Let's sit here for a

second. Come on, sit down. I can't even say anything without anybody.

yelling at me that i'm speaking too loudly i don't know what i was listening

well listen you can't scream back come here come here no luann man the

conversation that same thing that tinsley said you would not have lost it

favor stop psychoanalyzing me you don't know our relationship stop these people

know me i'm not a mean unkind ungenerous person

I'm not psychoanalyzing Dorinda. I'm frightened of Dorinda. You don't have to

a psychiatrist to realize how angry and scary Dorinda is right now.

I have suffered, suffered over what Dorinda has said about my ex

about me as a person. And I am sorry, but like, if I'm yelling, it's because I

am upset.

I am upset. I am upset. Yeah, well, she's got a lot of anger towards you.

for sure. And you don't get it. She should have just sat there and listened

said something like, I'm sorry. Well, but no one pays attention when I went to

the table. Like, people should be considerate towards me. Be a little

compassionate and then tell me that another time. But she had to throw her

fucking cents in knowing it's going to trigger me. That wasn't compassion.

That was being a fucking bitch. Okay,

that was a fucking bitch.

So you know what?

You know what?

The bitch, she got a bitch, didn't she? And I served it warm.

This group, especially Dorinda, has been very hard on Tinsley about not being

totally forthcoming.

So I totally understand why Tinsley would mutter this under her breath, even

though if it was me, I would probably be a little more direct about it.

My heart hurts for her because she's 44 and she wants a kid. We have kids. My

heart hurts for me because I buried my husband.

My heart hurts for you guys for all those reasons.

My life was... I wanted to die when Richard died.

You didn't get out of bed. You got that man that you loved. You got that. And it

was terrible, David. Terrible.

Terrible. Awful.

And I didn't want to do it. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I find it

demeaning to what all of... All of us had to go through. I know you guys have

nothing in common. I get it. No, there's a big difference.

Yeah, nothing. It's the one thing. I don't know. And I don't have the

to mother.

I'm going through a transition myself. I don't know if it's the house, the

broken whip, the realization that the justice, the realization that I'm 55

year, and this is not what I planned.

This was not the story I wrote.

I did everything right. I never was dishonest.

I was a good mother. I was a great wife.

And this is what I get. And Richard God says, and this is what you get.

And it's not fair.

I have nothing but the utmost sympathy for Dorinda having to bury her husband.

But what does that have to do with Tinsley?

And after Richard died, you know what I did? I stopped moving. You know what

happened? I almost became an alcoholic.

I was like, is that my coffee in the morning? I was like, hello, wine.

Yeah, good morning. Time to forget.

Then I realized now I'm taking down Hannah.

I looked in the mirror one day and I said, I don't like who's looking back at

me. That's why I like you and connect with you because you keep it real and

you're not lying to yourself and you're not lying to anybody else. That's it.

You just are who you are.

And that's that. And I just wish that you guys didn't hate each other so much.

Here's the thing. I did make a commitment that I was done with Tinsley.

But listen, you know the old thing, if you call me a dog, I'm gonna bark every

time. So I barked again.

Sorry. All right, let's go home. Let's go back to New York. Deal? No, we're

going on a hayride.

We're going on a hayride if it kills you.

Coming up... No!

No!

Oh, my God.

No! This is horrible!

I just literally...

Sit in a damn corner.

Come on.

Here you go.

Little one, come on. What about you?

I'm going to put my tennis shoes on.

Rocks are not working.

This is the best time I've ever had.

You've been emotionally abused.

Uh -oh.

Oh.

That's me and Tinsley fighting. Look.

I'm sorry this started off so... I'm going to go climb a tree.

Yes, totally.

Let's find a tree. Are we not allowed to climb them? We might not be allowed.

Who cares? No one's going to know.

Come on, let's go.

Bitch, we're climbing a tree. Let's do it. Do you think that climbing a tree is

going to solve all my problems right now? Yeah, I actually do think it's

to. Really?

Mm -hmm.

I'd rather be smoking trees, but apparently weed orchard is just an

Climb that tree, bitch. Do it.

You could do that in the Giam Battista Bali dress, okay?

I can see the world.

Oh, hi.

Did you see me?

I thought I was hidden.

It's very good to climb trees. It was actually really fun.

This is the apple climbing tree therapy. God knows I love the bush.

It is full of apples.

I'm mad at myself for letting them get to me. I'm mad at myself for breaking

down and crying. And I don't want them to be able to rile me up so much. All

right. Good.

Like a whole new person.

Yeah. Let's go on the hayride. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Let's find the girls. All

right.

Oh, he's the owner and he's rich.

Look at his shirt.

Oh, Jesus.

All right. I got a drink. Jesus Christ.

Dorinda, look over there with your vibe.

Give him your aura.

Now. Woo!

Let's move. We all love to have fun. We all love to drink. But, you know, sloppy

during the day is not my favorite look for Sonia. Oh, Dorinda, look at the goat

up on top of that.

This is a crawl.

Women of our caliber need to go faster, faster, faster.

Girls, wait. I have to make an announcement.

Oh, my God. Okay, the hayride was just a way to get you off of the luncheon

table so that we could go in the corn maze.

I don't need a maze in my life.

Ramona and I can't do a maze. I love it. We're together.

Who wants to get lost in a maze? We're all lost in our lives right now anyway.

We don't need to get more lost.

So we're going to have you guys split up into two groups.

These are pot plants, right? These are eggplant.

Oh, eggplant. I love eggplant.

Yeah? I thought they were pot.

Ramona, come with me.

We're gone.

How much do you own here? Like, how many acres?

47.

47 acres, Mr.

Nosebar. How old are you? Let me say his corn maze. How old are you? Let me say

his corn maze.

Follow me.

I'm good at this. I can see that. You have a mission.

You're on a mission.

Was it blocking their way? What's going on? Stay here. Let me do some recording.

I'll tell you that the way that they went is the wrong way. So which way

we go?

Yep,

I'm good. I was right.

All right.

I bet I'm the fastest person.

Oh, no.

Led by Tamish Ray.

You take it over.

Oh, look, Sonia. These come for decoration.

Put it in my bag, bitch. It's a free corner. I'm friends with the owner.

Shut up. All right, here. You stop whining. It's free. I think it's this

you guys. Well, now we're going to go with Elise.

We followed you. And if Elise doesn't work, then we're going to follow me.

I think this way, Elise, maybe.

I don't know where the hell I'm going, but...

Uh, probably not that way. This way.

We're almost out?

I don't know. This could become very claustrophobic very quickly.

What's the goal? We get back to the front, or we get to, like, another

The goal is to get in, and I'm following Luann. We'll never get out. Hold on.

Don't leave without me.

That's not good teamwork. You left me.

Oh, my God.

This is horrible!

I'm fertilizing the soil. They don't want pee on their corn. You

couldn't hold it until we got out. That's not good for your bladder.

Well, I don't know how good corn shucks are good for your bladder, but whatever.

Come on.

Tommy, I got a corn shuck between my shucks!

Here, toilet paper.

Toilet paper.

Toilet paper.

You wipe it. You wipe it. Here.

There's definitely two Sonias. There's Miss Morgan, who lives on the Upper East

Side, hates tattoos, and just talks about old money. And then there's Turn

Sonia, which I love.

It was great. I love you. We bonded. We did. We bonded. I have a feeling that if

Miss Morgan and Turn Up Sonia met, they probably would have... Oh, dead end

here. Stop that.

She'd be good as a corn stalk.

Oh, I think we found it. We got it. Hooray!

We found it! We found it.

Oh, this is the wrong way?

All right, I'll go through. Let's do it. Let's do it. You're right. Let's go.

Let's do it.

Listen, the maze was fun. I get it. Let's just get out of here any way

Time to get back to the maze of drinks.

Let's go up. This is it, babe. Let's go up. We'll, like, yell at them. We're

here.

That's not fair. They cheated more than we did.

Let's sit here and wait to be rescued.

Coming up... Your dick can fit through this? I don't want to hang out. Never

touch a small dick. Thank you, Sonia.

All right, girls, come on. The hayride's going back.

Hey, mister!

Mister! checker shirt guy you're kind of my type how much money do you make on

corn maids okay i don't think he's an interview right now thank you for

listening to me the other night when i was weeping and weak and not no you

weren't weak you're feeling some pain sometimes people do as much as they can

but they can't you know i'm not easy either No, you know what I think? This

what I truly believe. You have to know each other. You know, someone said this

to me, which made me realize my end of my marriage.

Whether he cheated on me or not was more important. What was more important was,

like, we were going different ways. And that's why he cheated, because he was

feeling inadequate. Were you getting the moment when he was going to almost come

back with you already?

It doesn't make you a bad person.

I think Dorinda just needs to focus on herself.

She can't worry about what John thinks, what other people think.

And I think the reason for John being in her life is over. It's okay to move on.

It's okay.

Endings are painful.

but they're sometimes good and healthy and needed.

It's so easy just to keep communicating and keep falling into old habits.

Because I have a feeling if I didn't do this, it would just stay plateaued for

10 years, 15 years, and then what?

John will always have a seat at my dinner table.

Of course he will. You know what I mean? I never want to have anyone walk away

and say...

My life was blessed because I met during the last 20 years.

I want them to say my life was better because I met them. Why would you even

think that, baby?

Because I just, I don't want to do anything hurtful or harmful.

Honey, you blessed his life and he blessed your life.

Don't even think that. That's bad negativity.

You do. You do.

I love you, Stevie.

There's something she really needs to work out that she's not working out. And

you know what? She's in pain.

And guess who's suffering from her pain? We are.

All right, wine tasting.

Oh, there she is. You missed my spiel. One more good -looking guy.

Trying to pay attention.

Oh, ladies, welcome.

I'm in love with this right now.

And it makes your pussy wetter. Because you eat blue cheese? That's like the

grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Blue cheese does that.

It's so gross.

Well, there goes the juice cleanse.

My juice cleanse is just juice.

It seems to be happening a lot that when Sonia drinks, she loses it. She's like

a caricature of herself.

Okay, dry Riesling. Riesling is what New York is all about. It's focused. It's

nearly. It's acidic. I would use it as a lubricant.

Sonia. That's inappropriate, by the way. It's inappropriate.

What are you doing?

Sonia, when was the last time you had sex? Because you're looking very needy.

I got pounded last night.

R .I .P. rest in peace. A little hot mess going on over there.

She's our little hot mess.

And she loves men.

Oh, why?

Here's the thing. Like the male body is just kind of not that good. You know,

look at a naked dude, right? Nobody. Me.

Nobody would dare send me a dick pic.

I'm the kind of person, I don't shop online that much. I like to feel and

things, so dick pics don't do it for me. I like the real thing.

If I'm feeling sexual chemistry with a guy, sometimes it's easier to just ask

for a dick pic, because then I know, if it's a micro penis, I'm not wasting my

time. Oh my God, there's donuts?

Your dick can fit through this? I don't want to hang out. Why is it always about

that? It could just be about somebody loving each other, and it doesn't have

be about sex.

Because you don't want to break a man's heart.

I don't care.

You know, it's hard enough being women. Never touch a small dick. Thank you,

Sonia. She'll do anything for a small dick. If you think he's going to bring

a bracelet.

You don't know my sexual activities.

You don't know anything.

All right, give me a break. I just had this thing. I need to get laid. That's

not my thing. I just don't mind.

Oh, I feel horny. Those have never been worse than coming out of my mouth.

When I wasn't in a relationship, I would feel... I would sometimes miss being

held. But what about when you wake up in the morning? Like, who's that person at

8 in the morning? The lights are off, and you need to go to the bathroom.

And who's that person when you had a lousy date?

It's very different. Everybody knows how to be 6 '8 at 11 o 'clock at night.

It's easy.

Lower the right, put on some lingerie, you know, whatever.

I don't even want to have sex later.

You don't want to have sex? Nope. The only thing I want...

I love you girls.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New York City. I like crazy people.

Yesterday was just like bad crazy.

Twist and detox that wine. Twist.

Detox. Detox, that's right. Yeah, some people drank a lot of wine yesterday.

you hear any rumors?

Uh -oh.

This is like a photo shoot.

Whoa. I feel like I'm getting attacked by a crazy person. That's so hard.

You have a pattern.

That's you. You go for the drug. You do it all the time, so you should recognize

it very well.

You hurt my feelings, and I need you always to support me. I do support you.

you don't. I'm so sorry you're so unhappy. I'm sorry that there's been so

men in your life that have come and gone, and you can't live with all of

I'd love to be kicked out of a good house.

For more on the Real Housewives, go to bravotv .com.