Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New York City.

I started dating this guy, Bruce, in March. He has three children. He has two

-wives. So the problem is, I need some alone time with you. Do you have

that you'd like to share about yourself?

Well, I'll share that yesterday and last night, it was very hard for me not to

drink. As much as I don't want to drink, I'd like to get back in the game with

the girl.

My dad called me and was like, your mother doesn't want to talk to you right

now. I told her that I did end up drinking.

What did she say when you told her? She didn't say anything. It was a text.

You don't do things like that by text. I saw you in January and a week later you

had dinner with Scott. I don't give a shit what you think then about that.

you being your big top person because it's failing.

Sonia sent me pajamas to wear tonight.

I was supposed to wear this.

And if this is what you were supposed to look like, then terrible.

Pretty damn hard to stay mad at Sonia. No, no, no.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong.

I'm no one's accessory. I'm the whole lifestyle brand.

I don't need to find love.

I love myself.

I may float like a butterfly, but I sting like a bitch.

Life isn't a fairy tale, but I'm hoping mine's the exception.

Raise the curtain, lower the light. I'm taking center stage in my life.

Hi. Welcome to the cabin. How are you? Thank you. Good. How are you? Good.

This is our beautiful courtyard.

Great. Beautiful table here for you.

Awesome. Thank you. You're very welcome.

Perfect.

Jack and

I had been together for four and a half

years, and he came into my life when I just got divorced. My kids were

teenagers.

You know, Jacques and I have a really healthy relationship.

He checks in with me, and I do the same. But now Jacques is engaged, and that

makes me happy. To see Jacques happy makes me happy. That's all I want for

So? So?

How's it going?

It's going very well. What's the latest?

My probation is over.

You know, I feel like... So that's done, the probation?

Probation is done. It feels good to finally be able to move forward. You

this part of my life, which has been basically the last two years of my life.

next? What's next? For the moment, I've been kind of taking it day by day. But,

you know, I'm with the girls a lot and they like to drink. And, you know,

sometimes I get very tempted. I've kind of made a promise to myself that I'm not

drinking right now because I just finished my probation.

You know what I mean? And I'm not making a decision either way. But I keep going

back and forth in my mind, you know.

Can I go back to having some wine with dinner? You know, it's been such a part

of my life for such a long time.

You're asking a wine merchant.

No, I know.

No, what do you think? A good glass of red wine if you can manage to have one.

And that's the key.

Right. To balance that. Not two, huh?

One.

One or none.

But, you know, I tell you, I'm not worried because I know how strong you

Whatever you decide, it will be the plan, and you will follow the plan, and

will do what you need to do. So I'm not worried about that.

Having the support of Jacques means the world to me because he knows me so well,

and I know whatever I decide to do, he has my back. How's the comedy thing

going? I mean, I'm excited about this event we have. It's next week already.

you ready? Of course I am. I'm always ready.

Well, you know what? I have no worries you're going to kill it because you were

so good at the Gotham Comedy Club. I loved it.

Thank you. I recently got involved with a friend of mine who has a podcast,

Chanel in the City, and I'm co -hosting an event with her, which is going to

feature comedians. So I thought Jacques would be perfect because he's recently

doing stand -up. What I'm doing is I'm going to try out some new comedy that I

can use in Mary F. Kill. I'm excited about our new show.

Mary F. Kill. Mary F. Kill, baby.

It's always about the countess, but the countess now.

being a little naughty.

You're going to have to make a guest appearance.

Absolutely. Would you like that? Of course, of course. That would be

Oh,

awesome. That's perfect.

I'm going to ask for lots of ground pepper.

So the show is like all new.

You know, I'm doing Feeling Giovanni live now, which is my new dance song.

Oh my God, hold on. I can't believe you haven't heard Feeling Giovanni.

Now, who's Giovanni?

That's the best question ever.

You're feeling Giovanni. Wait, wait. Who's who?

Giovanni. Giovanni.

Giovanni. Giovanni. Giovanni. Giovanni.

Giovanni. Giovanni. Giovanni. Giovanni. Giovanni. Giovanni.

Giovanni.

Giovanni.

Giovanni.

I can't believe I put in this gate and it's still good.

Today, I've decided I'm going to go on full Mrs. Medley and visit my old hon.

Is Len in there? Len, I'm home.

The townhouse was a very special place for not only me and Richard, but for our

family. He carried me over the threshold.

Through the front door. We had a huge garden. We had beautiful dinners there.

hosted parties.

Everybody from Mrs. Clinton to Madeline Albright to Desmond Tutu have all walked

through these doors.

I hope you miss me. I miss you.

It just was a really beautiful, growing, loving time for us.

Hello.

Back home.

How are you?

Look at that. You don't probably remember, but Richard gave me this here

five -year anniversary. Remember?

Yes, I need to.

Richard and I would go to Nello's every single week together on a Wednesday.

Hi, gorgeous.

Hey!

I would always get all dressed up, break out my jewelry.

Ramona Singer!

Hello, girl.

It was just so much fun.

That's when I was really Mrs. Betty.

Hi, guys.

Hi, John. We all love John. Let's toast to John. Yeah, John.

What should I have to drink, John?

John loved Richard.

Yeah, I did too.

Ever since Dorinda's been renovating all this damage in the Berkshires, it's

really dredging up a lot with her. She's like talking about Richard nonstop.

Why are you even shaking? What's wrong? Put a drink in.

That's my special drink I have to do now.

Why are you shaking? Oh, because I haven't had food for three days?

I'm doing this.

liquid fast now because i went to put my dress on for the fashion show and i

broke the zipper i do this detox occasionally for five days i just do

soup teas with an occasional back bar or an olive i'm gonna have the beef

carpaccio with extra heart of palm it's so delicious i'm done

Day three is the worst day of a fast?

Okay, I'll have the straight back, no butter.

That sounds excellent. Your hands would shake, too, if you were on day three of

just liquids.

Well, that fashion show was incredible, so you should be super proud of

yourself. Yay!

Oh, I love that one.

Thank you. And I love the way you diffused the thing with Leah and put it

model there.

You just diffused it completely.

I just thought because Leah doesn't wear these little sparkly numbers that the

other girls wear that she would like the cashmere twit set. I love it. That's

why I have my name on it. Oh, that looks delicious, Roberta. It's so good here,

isn't it?

I mean, it just could not be any worse. These girls are dining out on gorgeous

food. It's amazing.

It's delicious.

And I'm eating this putrid -looking soup.

What I wouldn't give right now for a truffle pasta.

Here's the weird thing that I find interesting, because Leah and I had a

talk the other night. Oh, really? Yes, because she's actually really an

interesting person. No, she is.

I'm curious.

She said, it's funny because Tinsley's like very open with me and I go out with

her all the time. So I said, the strange thing is, if you ask Tinsley a

question, it's hard to get an answer. It's frustrating.

She doesn't want to engage us at that level. But your delivery is terrible

anyway. I feel like Leah has accessed Tinsley in a different way than maybe I

have or even the group has.

So maybe she'll provide some sort of comfort level or connection.

That will bring us back together.

to drink again, that's her choice. I mean, she's a big girl. She's a

woman. You know, as long as she doesn't get out of control, I support her with

whatever she wants to do.

You ordered pasta, but you ate very little. That's why you're a size zero

I'm a size six. I'm a full -figured lady.

Well, you saw my boobs. You were like, oh my God. I know they're really like

luscious and big. She comes in and I'm like, oh wow. I'm like, oh God, no.

I was getting all turned on.

Am I embarrassing you?

Coming.

Hi, how are you? Hi, it's two of us.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Cool.

Have you ever been here?

I know, you know, I walk past it a lot, but I just.

Never come here. Also, there's, like, a farmer's market on weekends, and people

come to get people to cook, you know, to get vegetables. You mean herbs?

Herbs, like, all these, like, yeah, to cook and have, like, you know, things I

don't do, but, yeah.

Can I get you ladies anything to drink?

I would love a glass of Pinot Grigio, please. Okay. I would like a glass of

Sauvignon Blanc. You got it. Thank you.

My mom always loved to come to town. Oh, thank you. But now she has a whole

other excuse to be here. You know, she's got to come see the babies.

Oh, you're so precious. You know, she's a grandmother. And these are her

grandchildren. And who knows if she's ever going to have any other ones.

Cheers, honey. Cheers. Thanks, Mommy.

Thanks for being here.

Thanks for being here and taking care of my doggies, too, and helping me. You

know, I love them. I know. But they're a lot of work. I know. Because you had

them when I went to go see Bruce for like a second.

And then it's done.

Oh. Oh.

Done.

Seriously? Totally.

I broke up with Bruce. It was almost like a mature ending. I don't hate him.

didn't hate me. It was just done.

It's weird, but it's done.

I never even met him. Maybe that was on purpose, but, um... I just can't imagine

you wanting to live in Chicago.

Although, of course, you had another Chicago boy. Well, that was the weirdest

thing about it. Part of my even attraction, I think, to Bruce in the

beginning was that he was a Chicago guy. So I was like, you're kidding. He's a

jab at the butt.

Oh. Pretty much, I just wanted to be in Chicago and probably, I don't know,

bump into Scott. I don't know. I know. I developed a cool feeling for Bruce. He

just still hasn't seemed to make any sort of time for me.

Simply, it's because his life is set.

He doesn't really need you and the complications of a girl who's never had

children and all of that in his life. I don't think.

She's saying I'm complicated.

No, what I'm saying is he probably has decided.

I mean, he's too much for me.

My mom just has this way of putting things. Like, why does Bruce want to be

a 44 -year -old with no kids? I thought I was, like, the prize with Bruce. I

mean, I probably wasn't.

Anyhow, we're having fun. Have some pizza.

So, how did you feel walking down that runway again after all those years?

I told Gara, I know you from as a baby. When she's on stage, she is happy.

And you are always the best.

So it's good, it's just like building it all back again. And that's what makes

me a little irritated, actually, with... The girls and stuff. First of all, I am

younger. I haven't, you know, pushed forward in my life the way that they

But I've also done a lot in mine. Like, there's no way that I'm letting anybody

gang up on me again or do anything like that. Absolutely no gang ups, Desley.

I'm not going to let anybody walk all over me, particularly Dorinda.

I'm over it. Desley, I have all the trust and faith in everything in you

you can imagine.

The only thing that worries me, and it does.

is about the issue of a baby simply because I feel that you would miss out.

that's all.

I mean, that's all. I would like to croak after you've had a baby.

Well, you can't because you told me you were going to take care of it. I won't

take care of it.

So you can't do that.

But you better get going.

Well, I mean, I'm moving on to the next now, so we'll see.

Thank you.

Hi. Oh, I love this dress. Thank you so much. I love this dress.

Mine doesn't fit me at the moment, and I just popped this button a couple times.

I'm just that extra five pounds over right now.

I just, it annoys me because my clothes don't fit.

Yeah. You know, I look better without clothes right now.

Sort of. Sort of. Sort of.

This one, yeah.

That didn't take long. I thought it was going to take longer to get out here.

No, it's so quick.

20 minutes.

I've been in business with Gaurav now for many years, and we just had a

fantastic fashion show. And I need him to show me the money.

Okay? So to do that, the books are out in New Jersey. These are the bottom

lines. Yeah, show the bottom lines. First year, we lost $5 ,000.

Okay. Second year, we had nothing, zero. Yeah, but we weren't doing so much

then. Then we started, when you told me, we started to see a little something.

Oh, that's again a law? Yeah. That's from the fashion show. What year is

2017. Yes. Okay. What do you think? When are we going to be able to see some

money? We haven't sold any item beyond 300 to 500 pieces.

And it's a very select customer.

We are trying to expand the whole base. That's why we are adding more products.

I know that you...

have lost a lot of money up front because that's the business, and

you're strong enough to weather. I just needed to see it.

So what do we have to do? Did we get more sales from the fashion show? No,

we did not.

What the hell?

They know that in fashion many times you do have losses up front, obviously, but

seeing it on paper makes it very real.

There is a future, though, and that's why we're working so hard to finally

a profit.

I think it's going to be good with a presence at Century 21, okay? That's

to be wonderful exposure so people can go there and feel the quality. Yes. My

collection is online, but we received a call from Century 21, one of my favorite

stores ever. They want to buy the collection.

So I'm definitely going to get together and see what they have to say.

All right. So I guess I'll get going. I'm going to go meet with the trainer. I

really want to eat all that cheese, but I've got to go to the gym.

Coming up.

My family is from Texas.

They don't understand a word I'm saying.

Sonia, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm on stage.

Hello. Hey.

So listen, I can keep Kiki Friday night and I'll bring her to you Saturday

because I have so much freaking work to do with the brands.

Yeah. And then maybe I have a date. Oh.

Just kidding. I don't.

Rob and I were never married, which was a sensitive area for me. I was kind of

upset that, like, he never proposed. Are you dating anybody?

No. Kier says that you like someone.

I like someone? And the name begins with an L.

It wasn't easy and it took a long time, but we have made it a point to be best

friends and be a family with our daughter, even though we live in

homes, even though they're only two blocks away from each other.

Rob, we need to meet people. We need to date people. This isn't normal.

I'm going to try to find a girlfriend for you.

Are you lonely?

I'm lonely.

Me too, and I'm still lonely and bored. I want passion. I want romance.

I think I should be dating more. I think Rob should be dating more. I think it's

important for Kira to see that her parents can maintain healthy

which we can't do.

Are we just going to do this forever? Like, we're just going to be single and,

like, besties? Single and ready to mingle.

Christian mingle.

Oh, my God. She's still not talking to me. I don't even want to know. I'm so

annoyed. My mom is not speaking to me once again because I decided to drink in

the Hamptons. But the issue is I'm not not going to drink. And she can't just

decide to stop talking to me every time I drink. It's crazy.

She's not going to be happy until I'm in church repenting for my sin, which I

tried to do. And the priest hit on me and asked how many sexual partners I

You're such an asshole.

I obviously lied about the number.

All right. My neck's hurting. I got to go. Ciao, ciao.

Bye.

Thank you.

How are you?

Hey.

How's it going?

Excellent. Go down the slide. Oh, my God. I want to go down the slide. That

would be a great photo.

What a great room.

Love this.

Oh,

great. We've both got kind of, yeah.

It's wrinkled, but no one can bully me. You look great. Thank you. Awesome.

I met Chanel because she asked me to be on her podcast.

Oh, my God. There's ping pong. I want to play ping pong, too. And she and I

decided to.

Why not? Let's host a comedy event together and raise money for stamp out

bullying and for the Fortune Society, helping people get their lives back

they've been incarcerated.

So we're raising money.

So this is the space in which Shaq has to work, right?

Stop bullying her.

We were just talking about you.

Oh, my God.

Congratulations. I am so happy for you. Thank you so much.

Oh,

merci beaucoup.

Are you ready?

Yeah, thank you so much for doing this. Of course, my pleasure.

You're going to steal the show.

I know you're going to steal the show. We are going to have a good time.

No, it's going to be fun. I couldn't be happier for Jacques. He is engaged to a

lovely lady who I've met a couple of times, and he has my stamp of approval.

This is your line when she introduces you. Okay, girls.

I'm putting an end to the story I never... The pirate. Please welcome my

friend, Jacques.

Seriously? Jacques Azoulay.

Oh, my God. I mean, did he not look just like Johnny Depp?

Stop.

It's so good.

Yeah, so I say, you know, I'm here with my friends tonight who have been so

supportive of me.

And I want to set the record straight.

I never f***ed a pirate.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jacques Azoulay, my friend.

You like it? No. Come on, it's comedy.

It's funny.

It's funny.

I'm not surprised he doesn't find it funny.

If I really f***ed a pirate, would I be joking about it? I mean, I would be

defensive. Paige looks gorgeous.

So do you, huh? Que belle. Que belle loulou. Well, merci beaucoup.

Coming up.

I need some water.

Is this water? No, honey, it's all vodka.

What do you think?

You know you're good. Well, it's kind of weird to be back in the city. I've been

in the Hamptons for so long. You know, it's getting into the fall swing of

things. Right. I'm feeling more settled now, so it feels good. Good.

So I have a confession.

Uh -oh. Because you were like, next time I see you, you better have gone and you

better talk to your mom. Yeah, I hope you spoke to your mom.

This is not good. You've got to show up there and just eat humble pie.

Because you know what? You want to have that fun with her again. I know. You're

right. You're right.

I texted her. I wasn't able to. I know you're like against the texting thing,

but let me tell you, I texted her and I said, Mom, let's stop fighting. This is

depressing. Life is too short. And she didn't respond back to me. I told you

have to go there in person.

She's angry and she's like thinking back and now she's pulling away from you. I

know. It's true. It's true.

It's breaking my heart, really. I understand, but the only way you're

maybe, maybe come to any kind of terms with her is you have to just go there

physically.

Taking nine years to not drink helped us so much, where me and my mother and my

father, too, have now, you know, become very close again. But whenever I feel

that my mom is disapproving of something, it takes me back to, like, my

years, and I start to question myself.

Mothers need respect.

They may not always be right. I know. I'm a mother. I understand. But this is

like... Over the top judgment.

That's how I feel. All of my achievements have outweighed my

And I should not be judged on my failures, Ramona.

I should be judged on my achievements and the person that I have.

Okay, but she's afraid. She's afraid that you're going to fail again. Oh my

goodness, my daughter has achieved so much now. And now she took a drink and

she's going to fall back again. That's not what's happening at all.

But she's scared and that's what she's thinking. That's what she's thinking.

Ramona and my mom are complete opposites, but having Ramona's attention

maternal way is really comforting right now. You have to nip it in the bud, and

that means confronting her. And you may not like what she has to say, but

hopefully you can just get through it, because a text is nothing. People hide

behind text.

What's her favorite flower?

Does she have a favorite flower?

Lilac.

Are you serious? That's mine, too.

That was my mother's favorite. Really?

So just bring her a big bouquet of lilacs, all right? I'm going to do that.

Well, at least we're going to see some comedy now. I need some after I was

crying about my mom. Oh, it's bad.

Hey,

Lou.

You ready for your debut?

Your comedy debut?

Oh, well, yeah.

Well, I'm... co -hosting. I've been doing a little comedy. Jack's doing a

comedy. I'm so glad you're here.

You know, I have no expectations for tonight.

Podcasts have gotten very popular, but I really don't have time to watch or

listen. I guess, right, you don't watch a podcast, you listen, see?

But they've gained major in popularity.

Hello, gorgeous.

The Chanel -y. The Chanel -y day.

How you doing?

I'm good. Oh, my God. How you doing? Hi, I'm good. How are you?

Hello. How are you? Hi, honey. How are you? Excited.

I'm good.

I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for coming, girls.

Hi.

You're close.

How are you?

You smell wonderful. Cute, cute, cute.

Hi.

Well,

actually, her daughter picked these out.

She did.

Hey, by the way, we have a great idea.

Well, I have a great idea. I don't know if you're going to go for it. What is

it? What? You're scaring the F out of me. I think the three of us should have

lunch together.

Yeah, that sounds great.

Okay, good. There are some girls in our group that... that, like, want to jump

in so much. I think that she would let me have a moment if we needed a moment.

I don't know.

Do we need more moments?

She's kind of a little bit of a voice of reason.

I don't like that idea.

I don't need somebody else there.

I'm dying for this. I love this.

Dorinda thinks I'd be a great mediator because I'm not that crazy.

I am the voice of reason, which is actually kind of scary.

Hi.

Ramona, have you ever bullied anyone?

Pardon? Have you ever bullied anyone?

Bullied anyone?

Bullied means to like... You can tell me the truth, huh?

What address did I tell you to go to?

143 something?

114. Don't you think you should have written it down so you remember so you

don't have to ask me again?

Well, I don't know. At least I have friends. You have no friends. Who are

friends? You have nobody in your life. Right now you have Jason. You'll

mess that up too.

You look old for your age. You're older.

I do not. You look old for your age and I look young for my age. That's how it

stands. You are a bitch.

Why did I say that was so mean?

No, I don't think so.

Have you bullied anyone?

No. You know what? Why don't you stop getting vaginal rejuvenation and put an

easy path on that vagina with your howling tunnel?

Your lady broke your glass in front of me. Oh, I didn't get a mug shot over it.

Really? I didn't, really.

Kindergarten starts. You're going to be late for the box.

Oh, my God.

Kindergarten's starting in six hours. You're going to be late.

I actually am the person in the playground that used to fight the

people would pick on people. And I go to the principal's office. I can see you

do that.

Take me back to the circus, honey.

That's right.

I'm so glad we discussed that whole thing. I was like so off track.

We're good.

Everything's cool.

Is it possible that I misread the weird shady she was doing with me? Maybe.

Probably not.

But it's not like she f***ed my man.

She sent me pajamas.

I can, you know, I can get over that.

Have you had a drink at all since probation?

Zero.

That's hard because now you're not being watched.

I'm used to it. I drink Diet Coke. I drink, you know, I'm just used to it.

you never think, I'll just have a glutton now? No, I...

I might eventually.

I might.

Day by day. I said it before. I'll say it again.

You're not an alcoholic. I know. Jacques told me the same thing.

Tom wrote you to drink.

Literally. We heard that. It's not about Tom. Well, I think it was about Tom.

What she went through was so fast and furious, so stressful, so beyond

she could control, that like we all do, we turn to the tipple.

For sure.

On top of the PTSD, I have some of everything else. I see these guys and I

to party, but I'm fasting.

No, I know. Is that a mocktail or are you drinking? No, I'm drinking.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Don't drink.

Don't drink.

Are you drinking? Yeah, of course. I need some water.

Can I get some water?

No, honey, it's all vodka.

Oh, it tastes so good.

That's water, right? No, it's vodka.

There you go. It's over. It's over. It's over.

That's it. It's over. Now that the curse be lifted, we're done.

And that's it. Oh, that's good. It's over.

I'm getting on stage.

I love that. I mean, this was bound to happen. She's allowed to drink. All she

had was this. I told you, it's done. No, I'm not.

No one's judging you. I know. No one cares.

To be able to have a sip of vodka and not get arrested is huge.

You know, I don't have to make excuses.

I'm a grown woman and I'm ready.

What are you drinking? I just took a sip of vodka.

Whatever.

What? I'm off probation now. She's like, you know what, you're fine.

There's no problem, Elise.

What's the problem?

Let's get the show on.

You're not a judge and jury, Elise. I'm not judging.

I know Dorinda and Luann are drinking buddies, but didn't she just get out of

and just get off of probation?

If I were Luann's buddy, I would be pulling the drink out of her hand.

Hey, hey, hey, everybody.

Welcome to the Chanel in the City live podcast show with Countess Luann and

friends.

What a great turnout.

We all know that you're not here for me.

Please welcome my co -host, the legendary Countess Luann de la City.

I'm delighted to be here. The ladies are here tonight.

I'm honored to have you ladies here, and I'm so proud to be a part of the

organization. We've got a lot of different topics going on. We have women

prison. We have bullying. We have comedy. I don't know if I should laugh,

I don't know what to do. I'm going to make a mistake, I can tell.

Were you bullied in jail, or you're part of the Comedy Act?

I've been keeping a diary all this time, so I thought I'd share a little diary

entry with you. Would you guys like to hear it?

May 16th, 2019.

Dear diary, I shot myself in the foot being truthful about having two bellinis

on Easter Sunday.

And now I have to blow in a device that detects alcohol five times a day.

And if you include my boyfriend, that makes six.

The way I like is a good joke.

As I like to say, I am very proud of everyone that tries.

Try, try again.

That's all I have to say about that.

Thank you for being supportive tonight. You guys for coming. My friends are

here.

I love you guys.

And I want to set the record straight with you guys, okay?

I never f***ed a pirate. So please welcome to the stage...

Anyway,

you guys, this is a great cause. As an immigrant, I was bullied early on.

Started with my name. My name is J -A -C -Q -U -E -S.

But you don't pronounce the S at the end.

Jacques.

Jacques? Jacques could be very funny, but nobody understands him with his

accent. My fiancee, her family is from Texas.

They don't understand a word I'm saying.

It's terrible. I'm glad you seem to be understanding what I'm saying. I don't

understand a word Jacques said.

I'm the quintessential optimist. I wish there were a bouncing ball that

interpreted it for you in front of you.

Yes, yes.

I'm just smiling.

And I have to tell you, it's hard to be a Frenchman in America.

So do you think my idea is great?

I'm the quintessential optimist. No, you're supposed to say, I think it's

Let's just make it to the lunch.

This food looks so good. Sonia, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm on stage.

Sorry.

Oh, no, I'm listening.

I just, these cackling bitches need to shut up.

Well, let's give a round of applause for Jacques and his anti -bullying

campaign.

I always love some Jacques.

Maybe in French he's hilarious, but in English?

As Chanel said, I host the podcast How Come about the fact that I had never had

an orgasm.

Let's give a shout -out to Remy's boyfriend. He's in the audience. Oh, my

don't do that.

So this guy's coming at me. I pivot past him. I go across the platform as fast

as my Crocs will let me.

I'm going to bring a different energy if that's okay.

Yes. Thank you for that. All good.

Good energy.

I think the charity and the message is something really deep and meaningful,

I don't quite see how comedy goes with it. I have something called

trichotillomania.

It's a disorder where you pull out the hair on your head.

Oh, my gosh.

And to tell you the truth, it's a little boring.

Ramona, where are you going?

I'm very intuitive, and I always have the pulse of the room, and I can tell

it's dead.

There's no pulse.

And all I can think of is that I can't eat the food, I can't have a drink, and

this isn't funny. Can everyone see us in here? Look!

Hi!

Crazy.

I'm kind of getting bored, to tell you the truth.

Coming up.

You are intimidating. No, I'm not. You're saying she's intimidated by this.

can be scary as hell sometimes.

I told Luann I'm not drinking and she's drinking.

And I'm not drinking.

The last thing I want is Luann drinking again.

and you go down the slide. I'm going to watch you come down.

One, two, three.

Oh, God, that was fast.

Watch out!

I have to say, this right now seems to be the funniest part of the night.

I want to go to Martin.

I was thinking that you need to go to Martin. You need to have a sesh. You

to be a legend or do you want to be a fairy tale?

I go out watching fairy tales. What do you think?

Fairy tales. Be a legend.

What I want to do is just work out, work on myself.

This trainer is great. You can set me up with a man, but not yet.

Whoa! Whoa! Yes!

No, I know, not yet. Hold on! Repeat that. I want to be single.

For a little bit.

Bruce and I are totally done.

Really? Yes. I am proud that Tinsley has made a decision to end something.

So this is a good thing that she's actually taking charge of her life,

she'll usually stay to the bitter end.

I'm so going down the slide.

I think I need a Red Bull. I love you.

Dorinda, Tequila, no bueno, baby.

You are intimidating. No, I'm not. You're saying she's intimidated by me.

can be scary as hell sometimes. It has nothing to do with me. Am I scary?

Leah thinks Tinsley's intimidated by me.

Of course she is.

Tinsley's intimidated by a butterfly.

Here we go again.

I can't believe we're at an anti -bullying event and we're fighting.

As she knows, I came here with good intentions. Really? But you keep on

at me about my watch. I'm not yelling.

Tinsley and Dorinda are going at it like you cannot believe it.

Still? Just be simple. I mean, this is ridiculous already.

I'm not going to stay here and listen to this. Because if I get mad, Elise, I'll

get super mad. I know you won't. So I don't want to do that. You've got to

walk away. Okay,

the point is this. I can talk to her.

These two women are so stuck. They don't need a mediator. They need a miracle.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New York City.

Look what I'm reading right now. According to page six, Dorinda's taking

break.

planted this. Do you think Ramona didn't know she wouldn't? Luann, I'm very

excited about this trip.

So as soon as we get to the orchard, we're going to have lunch by the pumpkin

patch. My gum lasts longer than your relationship, okay? My gum.

Your gum? I can't edit myself to dumbness. This is absurd.

There's hay rides.

Woo! Let's move.

This is too slow.

Faster! There's a corn maze.

Oh my God.

There's a winery tasting later.

Let's just have one glass of wine. Just one glass.

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