All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.New.York.City.S12E04

Previously on The Real Housewives of New
York City. Everyone should share a

story about something that makes them
vulnerable.

I was 17. I went to rehab for three
months. And so when my parents came to

get me, they were like, you're not
coming home. But we did find a halfway

for you to live in that's run by nuns.

So the guy's host name is Joe Farrell.
Oh, my God. This is like weird white

people.

When I married my husband, he would
force me to buy clothes. You were his

accessory. I was never.

a trophy wife.

You're a trophy wife. Is this the
basement? It's the lower level. Okay.

always last on the totem pole when it
comes to rooms when we go on vacations

together. Luann's left and written a
really out of control text.

Hello. Luann's on the phone.

Hey, Lu.

Hey, Ramona.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't give you my room, or rather
Sonya's room. You know what? It's not

about that. It's about always being not
considered.

I go downstairs.

I mean, the smell and the spite. I was
like, what am I doing?

I was really hurt.

I'm not a spoiled brat. You know that.

I don't want you to feel like I think
less of you. I don't. And I'm so sorry I

made you feel that way. I was wrong not
to have you on the same floor.

Please come back. I feel bad you're
upset, Lou. I don't want you to be

don't want you to be upset. I would
rather you be here with us. I do love

You don't have to sleep in this
shithole. Shut up.

Get your ass over here.

Well, I'm going to kick your ass ten
times. Fine.

I'm staying in my house tonight. I'm ten
minutes away, okay?

That's fine. You can sit your own, but
please come back now. Only in the

Hamptons do you get into a fight with a
friend and you're like, bitch, I'm going

to see you on the tennis court.

I'm owning it that she had a right to
feel upset. I'm owning it. And I just

really wish she communicated it earlier.

Do we have to go tonight? I want to be
losers and stay home.

Instead of going with Ramona's fancy new
friend. Well, I just think enough is

enough. My girlfriend is having a
beautiful birthday party at Sag Harbor.

really surprised these girls don't want
to go to this party. I mean, come on.

How many hours can I look at you girls?
I mean, I love you, but not that much.

Let's get some action. Food, wine,
dancing, and men.

I almost ended up sleeping with another
guy, too. I can't do that. Well, you are

a disaster.

You are just out of your mind. What
about what Elise called your arm candy?

know.

Take that. I was never a trophy wife.

Take that back.

I don't shave my pussy.

And then she throws it on me. She's
like, she's the trophy wife.

Yeah. That's not true. Don't say I am.
When I was married to Todd Crowe, I was

not a trophy wife. That girl shouldn't
be calling me a trophy wife. I have a

of different things that I do at once.
So stop.

Don't say that. You were a trophy wife.
I was a hardworking wife. Yes.

It's hard working, too. How come you
don't know where the shoe repair is in

neighborhood? Oh, my God, stop it. You
didn't know where the shoe repair shop

is. I'm too sick for you to get on this
loop again right now. The first rule of

trophy wife is if you have to explain
that you weren't a trophy wife, you

probably were a trophy wife.

I just wasn't that kind of wife. I was
gardening. I don't want to imagine,

when she said something to you and you
found that so offensive.

She found that offensive. I get it. And
then she found it offensive. Touché. You

found it offensive. That's touché,
Ramon. That's the touché. Touché.

Hello.

Hi.

Nice to see you.

You too. How are you?

I'm very good. Good. You look very good.

This is L 'Etoile. Yeah, isn't it nice?
Yeah, it's my client company.

It's different looking. I like the
orange. Right? Me too. Right.

Adriano, gosh, he's probably the hottest
tennis pro in the Hamptons. Everyone

loves hitting with him because he speaks
Italian, tall, gorgeous.

What else can I say?

All right, let's hit, baby. I want to
hit. Warm me up before the wind gets

We don't run to that?

Oh, bad bounce.

Volley. Boom.

Volley. Boom.

And overhead.

Twist, twist, twist.

Yes, good. Very good. Hey. Hey, hey,
hey.

That was awesome.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, let me get my breath.

Lou Anne, where are you? I need some
relief.

All right.

Ramona, how do you open the gate?

All right, I got it. I do believe Ramona
is sorry because I don't think she

intentionally put me in the basement.
She just does not think. And I'm not

to let this ruin my weekend with the
girl.

Adriana, this is my girlfriend Luanne.
Buongiorno.

Adriana. Luanne.

Luanne. No, la cento siempre fall.

I say that I still have a strong accent.
You still have a strong accent. Even

after 20 years in the U .S. Don't lose
it. We like the strong Italian accent.

like it.

Your accent sounds very... Thank you,
thank you.

Whatever.

You look very fit. She does a lot of
yoga. She always had a good body, but

it's awesome.

She's trying to be nice to me.

I am being nice. Don't try too hard.
It's just not your M .O.

That was funny.

Luann, we're not going to the party.

We decided we're all going to stay in
together, order in from Parmesan, and

hang out.

Really? Yeah. Well, your friends are
going to be disappointed, no? You know

what? My most important friends are
right here. I couldn't agree more.

As much as Ramona's trying to honor her
guests and be the great hostess that she

is,

She's dying to get to that party.

Is our midnight rider back?

The midnight rider.

Ramona, are you ready?

Yes, I'm ready.

She's ready. I'm ready, baby.

She's ready. So jump in.

He has no idea what he's getting into
here.

He's gorgeous.

He's gorgeous.

He's your type.

I think he's every woman's type. Yeah,
right?

Ramona Singer uses the 80s method of
hiring people.

They have to be good looking.

They have to be fit.

and they have to be somewhat dateable.

Oh! That was worse.

Oh!

It's like the sun was in my eyes or
something.

Damn! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Is this
really a tennis game or is it... Guys,

this is a tennis game for something
else. I think we need a dead bat. Ding,

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

This has nothing to do with tennis.

I'm so competitive that she's going to
completely decimate Ramona.

And Ramona's going to pretend to play
tennis while she has her tits hanging

Come on, Ramona. Go back. Fast, fast,
fast.

Fast, fast, fast.

Faster, Ramona. I'm sure that's exactly
what he wants to see.

Close it.

Oh, that would have been 15 points.

I know. Don't have to rub it in. I'm
having a ball over here.

Revenge.

I've never played tennis, and I think I
could do better.

That's two bounds, so it's a winner.

You deserve it, Lou.

Nothing is a better panacea than
winning.

Winning! Shake hands with your opponent.

Rematch?

I feel like, Sonia, I can't let things
go with you.

You haven't even... Do you know how
disgusting it is for me?

I mean, I think she's hilarious and I
love her, but, like, yesterday she was

like, I married the bank.

I'm like, oh, my God.

I don't need these mentions. I married
the bank. I know, bitch. I didn't marry

the f***ing banker. No, I married the
f***ing bank. I had the private island.

I had the yacht. It's very sad that she,
you know, won't, like...

Move on, you know Considering I just met
Sonia I think it's a little strange

that I know so much about the life she
used to live and I don't really know

anything about the life She's living
right now. The yacht has sailed honey.

know what I mean? Like you need to like
get over all that I know How old are

you? I'm 39.

Do you have a family? No, I'm single In
Manhattan is very hard to

Yeah. Meet somebody special, everybody's
running around.

But I can't imagine you have a hard time
meeting somebody.

Yeah, you'd be surprised, right? You'd
be surprised, you know, when you least

expect. When you least expect. Exactly.

Could happen today.

I don't know about today, but... Okay.

What? Ma che dice, madonna mia, non è
vero, la prima volta in mia vita.

No, Niviero.

You just shot me down.

Coming up.

Really?

Only one side's going on. Come on.

Why aren't the other ones kicking in?

Flash. Oh,

okay. Good.

Just blew up on my face.

You like it?

What is that?

It's frosé.

There's alcohol.

Oh, there's alcohol.

Oh, my God. This is so good. We can make
non -alcoholic.

I don't think that Luann was ever an
alcoholic. I spent many years with her

going out, having a good time. I think
what Luann went through in the last

years has been incredibly intense and
difficult.

And I think it's behind her. And we're
all looking forward to having the old

Luann back.

Are we going to eat outside or inside?
The table is set, by the way.

Well, no, we need forks and knives.
There's no forks and knives on the

Can you guys help set the table? Ramona,
Ramona. Thank you for setting the

table, Leah.

Oh, you're welcome.

You didn't.

You didn't put forks and knives.

There's no forks and knives on the
table.

Well, your woman told me that the
Forrest and Ives were in the napkin.

Oh, they're in the napkin. Oh, she did
that?

That's what she told me.

She used to do that when I do a buffet.

Forget it. But I want to make sure
they're not in the napkin. God, Ramona.

That's not nice.

Don't do that.

Why are you talking to her like that?
Yeah, that's terrible. That's why you do

it. This is your house.

I would never talk to anybody that was
my guest in my house like that. Well, no

one's helping.

They're in here.

Why do we have the lady here helping
you? I don't know.

Don't let her talk to you like that,
bitch.

Don't let her talk to you like that,
Leah. Fine, fine, fine.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

You're taking her to a doctor and
checking her hormones.

I really don't even care. I'm not
offended.

Are we staying with Ramona or are we
working for Ramona?

What's my hourly wage?

When can I take a vacation day? I mean,
this is ridiculous.

She's, you know, she's a turkey breaker.

i know cheese cheese or no cheese look
how gentle now her voice is

it's like my

family talk to each other i think that's
why i just don't even i

don't mind that i really don't you need
therapy oh the grill holy i wouldn't

burn the food i was raised to respect my
elders

So when they act a little out of pocket,
I'm kind of just letting them get away

with it.

For now.

Excuse me, Sonia, I need a cutting
board.

Sonia Leach, I need some help, please.
You stop interrupting all the time.

Because I'm cooking and I need help.
You're so rude.

Sonia, I need help.

Why was that her house?

All right, whatever.

The only thing I miss not having a
partner is for them to grill.

Mario was always in charge of the
grilling. Who wants to get hot and

that grill? Put something else to it,
please.

It looks so good. I'm so excited.

Well, you're doing a lot of things at
once.

So the hostess was the mostest?

It's a great friend.

To new friends.

Leah,

it's really lovely to get to know you.
Thank you so much. I'm so glad we're

hanging out.

Thank you for coming up from the
basement.

From the lower level. From the lower
level.

This is what you call sunlight. I was
never so happy to see my bedroom last

night. I'm going to let you out. So,
Dorinda, I was telling Luann about the

conversation we had at Wilford. We all
were going around the table.

sharing something special or really
vulnerable and emotional about herself.

So do you have anything that you'd like
to share about yourself?

Wow. Now she's on the spot.

Well,

I'll share that yesterday and last
night, it was very hard for me not to

The hard part is knowing you can drink
and then choosing not to drink. You

it's hard to be around a group of girls
that like to drink. As much as I don't

want to drink, I just feel like I'd like
to get back in the game with the girls.

Well, you know, it's awful that you've
had someone in the watchtower for the

last year. But in a weird way, it's sort
of been like, it's nice to have someone

in the watchtower. So now you look up at
the watchtower, you're like, there's

nobody watching me anymore. I'm looking
out for myself and I just, you know, so

last night I really felt like drinking.

It was a challenge for me yesterday. And
it's like the first time I felt like

that in a while. Oh, God.

Really? Yeah.

This is exactly the kind of thing that
Luann would have hid from us last year.

I'm so proud of where Luann is now that
she can be open and honest with us

again. I think I'm going to be fine if I
drink.

Me too.

But then I know that I will be upset
with myself because it's like a promise

that you make to yourself. I think...
I'm at a place with the girls where I

be open and honest. And I made a resolve
that, you know what? This weekend, I'm

not going to drink. That's it. And I
chose to do that. And it's really hard

sticking to the plan.

But I'm doing it. Leah goes, oh, well,
I've been drinking today. And I was

damn it.

I was like, I have a good time. I was
dancing and whatever. But it's like, you

know, I wanted to join in. And that's
normal.

And then I was like, there's probably so
many things going through her mind.

Like, is my family going to hate me? Am
I going to get arrested again? And I get

it because.

All that same stuff was going through my
head when I made the decision to start

drinking again. But at the end of the
day, she has to just make that decision

for herself and not really worry what
other people are going to think.

We're bad. No, it's not. That wasn't the
point. I'm just saying that I felt

lonely. I was vulnerable and I felt it
hard not to drink yesterday.

And it's the first time I felt like
that. So I'm just sharing that. Well,

know what? I'm proud of you. Thank you.

This is all good. This is all good
stuff.

Coming up.

You like it!

Sonia, I'm going to have to put my
finger up. You're going to have to calm

down.

Oh,

hi. Hey, how are you? Good, how are you?

Great.

We're here to groom Marley, Sonia's dog.

Marley? Yeah.

You're kidding. You have a service that
has a girl?

That's amazing.

I love it. Let me get Sonia. I think
she's in the bedroom. Great, thank you.

Just hold on one sec.

All right.

This guy is like hot.

Dog groomer? Really?

I'd like to be groomed.

Luann's very impressed with your
business.

Oh, fantastic. I was like, what? That's
so great.

Hey, Marley. Hi, honey.

I was walking through the living room
having my tea.

How are you? Handsome. Dog groomers walk
in the door. I'm like, there's a God.

You're lit up. There is a God.

I know. It's exciting, right? That's so
great.

Okay, let's go.

I could use a little zhuzh, a buff and a
paw.

This is a full -service home for Luke.
We have a tennis instructor.

We have dog groomers. It's just a
revolving door of hot guys for Luke.

Do you need any help?

Cool. Do you want to see what I'm doing?
Do you want me to hold him or anything?

I need your moral support.

Yeah.

So what kind of dog are you?

I have a Weston. A Weston? Yeah.

Aston.

Yeah, I guess.

Hello.

We're watching Marley. You want to join?

If there's a man in the house, you know
Luann is on it. She'll say, I'm the

flirt. Bullshit. She's the biggest flirt
I ever met.

Oh, he's doing the massage. I need that.
I know, right?

You need that on your neck.

She needs a massage on your neck.

Just saying.

I don't know if that... We'll hold you.

Get yourself in position.

I would kill for it.

Really?

All right, go.

Go, Luke. Go, Luke. Where should I go?
Tell me where to go. I'm there.

Sit right here. Oh, my God. I am so
excited right now.

When you said you did massage, I was.
You're excited?

So am I. I'm a voyeur.

I love it.

Oh, my God.

This is amazing.

You got great hands.

We don't get buffed and puffed like
that. What the hell is Luann getting?

Oh, yeah.

I'm not so sure what she's getting.

I think she's getting aroused.

Do you make house calls?

Yes, we do. Good to know.

Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you. Sure. Very good. Thank you.

Thank you for that. That was awesome.

Thank you.

Really awesome.

You might be massaging all night.

You gotta wear it like a seal for a
second, and then... Yeah, I'll take it

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we're like, we're having a
civilized, lovely dinner party.

I'm so glad we changed our mind not to
go to the party. I'm so happy.

I don't do well at those big parties
anymore.

You know, it's funny as you get older
how you change. I used to love those

of events.

It's nice to be at home with your
friends and not have to make

I'm so bored with myself that when I
hear myself talking, I'm like, oh my

Is this too much that you cut this in
half?

I'm a stage mom. I want to stout my
dogs. I want them to have a cute little

face, like puppies, but then a cute
little skinny body.

Don't tell your dogs they're fat. I
didn't tell my dogs they're fat. You

them like they're fat. This is my
calling.

I'm a stage mom.

Hi, honey bunny.

People say I'm ignoring you. They don't
understand that you don't like crowds.

Do you need any help, Ramona? Oh, no,
but thank you for offering.

Well, she'll just yell at you anyway.

So happy that tonight is just going to
be girl bonding.

And I can just kind of let loose and not
have to worry about any weirdo white

dude showing up.

Anybody home?

Hey, Jeff.

Hey. How are you? Wow.

What's going on?

Come outside.

Jeff, he's a character. He actually
makes a great lasagna. And he's a very

pianist and all these girls for lunch so
we were originally all going to go to

suzanne's party but then they were like
oh let's just stay in hang out what's he

doing here i don't get it it's a pussy
party and then there's like one penis in

the room why i don't get it the girls
wanted to stay in so i started to invite

people but everyone was going to my
friend's party jeff was the only one

showed up i guess he's happy one man
seven girls he should be happy The last

time I remember seeing you was outside
of Bill Bouquet. I said, can I have your

number? Oh, you did?

You tried to hit on me? Yeah, I told
you. And I forgot?

No, you didn't forget.

You gave me your number.

I did. Oh, good.

I'm so glad I did. Now you have my
number.

Phone number?

No, sorry. I don't even recognize you.

Who's this guy, Jack?

Another one you're dating?

No, no, no. I started calling different
guys.

Justin, Jeff, Ed, Carl.

There's no hot guys.

Everyone's going to the party. He's
going to the party.

Woo! Let there be fire!

Let there be fire!

Oh, God, I thought this was cranberry
juice. What is this?

No, I'm sorry.

I know there's no ice, and I couldn't
find ice. There's vodka in there.

Oh, great.

If Leah wants a drink, like, she's
around safe, good company.

I think it's fun. As long as she's
drinking around me, I feel like I got

She's not going to go off the deep end,
hopefully.

Maybe.

If I get it, you have to drink it. If I
don't get it...

I had a drink badge.

You drank badge. So she should have gone
to a fraternity instead of FIT.

You drink, you drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, this is more like frat guys
getting wasted than a lovely drink party

with the ladies.

Did you bring my vibrator? I asked you
to get me. God, are you going to

masturbate for everybody?

How are you doing?

I'm good.

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

Oh, Liz! Oh, my God. You know, they're
gangbanging over there.

You drink, you drink.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There are nights
where I really miss drinking.

Tonight is not one of those nights.

You like him. Yeah, he's not bad.

What kind of guys do you like?

He's a good guy.

He's just cool. He's great.

All right, come on.

They want you to go.

She doesn't like any guys, and then she
likes you. I'm like... Why would you

like this guy?

He's got the, like, this is just
showing.

It's good.

I'm not mad at it.

I can't help but sit back and watch this
all go down and think to myself, oh, my

God, is this how I look when I get
drunk?

I thought we sent you home!

And where the hell did Sonia get that
dildo? Watch your heads, girl. She's got

the vibrator in her ass.

I don't like it!

I don't like it!

You like it!

Sonia, I'm...

Coming up.

You said we were at Tutu. We're walking
out and Alberto's there and we're

talking. He's like, how's John?

And you're like, you know, she'll be
done with him in two years. She'll be

someone else. Oh, my God. Yeah, you did.

You always said you were in love with
Hannah. I know.

What about you?

Same person, John.

She's going to have a new boyfriend in
two years. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. I

love him. I know you love him. I think
you're going to have a new guy. No.

That's my witch prediction. Really,
Ramona? I can't believe you.

I don't understand. He's so insensitive.

If you get naked, I'm going to get
naked.

And that's that.

I'm like stir crazy.

There's just only so much talking about
yachts and the class A that I can really

handle before I'm like, this is how I
have fun.

Watch and learn.

All right, I'm kind of peeing in the
pool right now.

I'm like the prude that can't take my
clothes off right now.

Rip it off, bitch.

Get in the pool.

You know what? This is a f***ing jail.

This is a f***ing society.

High society.

F***ing Park Avenue.

Yes, bitch! Go! Go, go, go, go! Yes!
Yes!

Oh,

my God!

Oh, my God! I hate these piggy torches!
They suck!

Ew! Why?

Because they suck. They just represent
bulls***.

Let me just put this out there with
everyone.

It is not always great with John. He is
different.

He is a different choice for me. But you
know what? The big picture is he is my

friend. I accepted him into my life as
my friend.

He is family to me now.

John would go to the fire with me. I am
about the foundation of the house. I'm

not about the curtains.

And it was a flowing, I don't know about
the foundation.

But I have a question. If you knew he
was at a party tonight, taking girls'

numbers, what would you do?

And what would you think? He's not doing
that, and I know you want to create

this theory. No, I said if he did. Well,
of course I'd be upset, but why again

would you say that? Why would you say
that?

You're just an asshole thing to say.

I think Ramona just pulled stuff out of
her ass.

One thing I do know for sure is he's
never flirted with her.

Why do you roll your eyes, Ramona?

Because she said he doesn't take phone
numbers, and you're saying he does.

Girls have told me he's taking their
numbers. I'm sure they have.

They already have relationships, and he
hits on them.

Dorinda's a totally different person
than when she met John seven years ago.

And there's a side of Dorinda that is
not totally happy with her relationship

with John, and I know she realizes it
down deep, and I wanted to hit her over

the head with it. That's bullshit.

Ramona, you shouldn't say it. It's mean.

It's not mean. I asked you if you wanted
to know. It's her rude way of trying to

tell you something. But it's a very rude
way of trying to tell her something.

Ramona really has no bedside manner.

I mean, she is the Dr.

Keborkian of delivering sensitive news.

I never want you to think that I'm
trying to present you with some perfect

thing. Sonia! Pull him down!

I love her.

Whatever!

I don't give a... Don't say anything
mean about him anymore.

I didn't mean to. Well, I didn't mean
to. It broke my heart. He loves you.

I love him.

When Dorinda first dated John, no one
could get it. We're like, not like

Richard.

He's not as well -spoken as intelligent.

As dignified.

As suave, as chic, as traveled.

This is what you're whispering to me?
He's shy. How dare you?

We're like, what are you doing with
John?

How many times have you done this?

Like, never.

Nice ticket bra off. When I was going
out with John McEnroe, he got in the bar

tub with his whitey tighties on.
Everyone else was naked. Don't be a wet

blanket. Don't be a wet blanket,
Hensley. Don't be a Park Avenue. I'm

it. I hate those. Oh, how nice are those
boots?

do it again. Maybe it's just too much of
a commitment. I cannot

believe Tinsley, who doesn't

even want to wear a bathing suit without
a wrap, was topless in a swimming pool.

I'm just thinking, what will Dale think
of this?

Oh my God, you're topless. Well, then
you need to get that done.

You need to cover that up. No, it
doesn't look good.

What, they're sagging?

Just put some nipple. No, I'm going to
do it for you right now. Her daughter

knows that she has breath.

Okay, that's true. She does. She does
know. She does know. This is a group of

girls that haven't seen a midriff for 20
years. Now we've got a midriff and

nipples? Too much.

I'm going to make yours.

Sorry.

Okay, put this off.

Why is there wings on your vagina?

Because they fly.

No, no, no, they don't fly.

I do it in a medley.

For the first time in a long time, I'm
speechless.

Like an alien movie.

Wings! Right from the vagina.

And presenting!

And presenting!

Beautiful girl!

Look at how beautiful she looks!

Look at it. I don't know the track he's
asking for. That's beautiful.

go to a party. No, you're not.

I want to go out.

I have a lot of energy.

I have energy.

I don't feel bad about leaving. They
were all invited. They're just going to

drink themselves to sleep.

Luann, get on the gravy train.

Sold.

I'm going to stay home for this.

I'll see you when you're... Where are
you going?

I'm going to my... To another party? To
my other people. To my hundred

superficial friends.

Ramona. Yes, you got that right. To your
other hundred superficial friends.

Really, you want...

with you tomorrow. Even for Ramona, who
can't stay in one place for more than a

minute, this is a new low. I'm going to
go, babe. She has to go to another

party. I'm going home.

Ramona needs to stay here and party. Why
does she have to go to another party

with other people?

She shouldn't leave her guests, that's
for sure.

Well, I'm going to stay here and party
with the other tramps.

The winner of the Worst Hostess Award
goes to Ramona Singer.

Ramona has to go because... Why?

Because the opportunity cost of not
going is that you won't meet a man.

That's why I want to get back to you,
Elise. We're really good friends. We

each other spiritually.

You're a smart woman. You work really
hard, and so do I. When you use the word

accessory in the same sentence as me, I
nearly clocked you.

But you know that I was trying to
empower you? She doesn't get it.

She's trying to say, is that for you?
All I'm saying is that you're more

powerful. than your accidentally last
name.

Don't burn breakfast!

You don't understand that we listen to
people. You're right, I don't. I don't

understand that life. I don't. I knew so
much before she was a Morgan. We knew

each other before I married JP Morgan's
grandson.

And you know what? You're a very smart,
powerful woman. When you threw out

Dick's flick of tip, is that the word?
You said, you said, you were just an

accessory. I go, where'd you pull that
out? I'm not an accessory. The yacht has

failed.

You're way too chic.

You're too chic.

When did this party become Occupy
Hamptons? I don't get it.

You know, you got a chip on your
shoulder. I do.

You have a problem. I grew up much
differently than you. I grew up like

She has a problem, too.

She didn't want me to put my logo on my
shoes.

The shoes are amazing.

The deer's from my family crest.

Who's your family? It's from my ex
-husband. Oh, your husband's family. I

feel like an idiot to walk around in.

Ralph's family's carton.

for a while.

Want to do a face mask?

Whatever you're doing, I want to do it.
That's good. You're waking up fresh.

I brought these.

What was that last night?

I feel hurt that Leah made some
assumptions about me and never even

about those things. She didn't even
bother to get to know me.

Ramona's going to go ape shit about the
condition of the house. When I got my

coffee, I almost died.

Good morning.

obviously. I really don't think I should
be doing any of this. I just don't know

where to put, you know, there's glasses
and a wine glass. There's a vibrator in

the chicken.

What? Yeah. Oh, my God. I have to laugh.
Otherwise, I'd cry.

Really? Really?

I don't even want to look outside.

What's going on outside? No, I mean, you
know, who knows? What happened outside?

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know? You
were here.

I know, but... I don't know. Okay, fine.
Let's look outside.

How did the torches... Oh, my God.

This is not cool.

Oh, no!

Look outside.

This is not cool.

Okay, this is ridiculous.

This is really bad.

This is disgraceful.

How did the torches... Oh, my God.

What were they doing?

Throwing torches?

This is torch fuel. This is not cool.

Really? Really? Really?

Talk about no respect.

I'm actually, I'm not mad, I'm not
angry, I'm actually pissed.

A champagne bottle is in the pool?

Are you kidding me? What were they
doing?

Dorinda, Sonia, get your asses down
here.

So disrespectful.

Okay, this is ridiculous.

This is really bad.

My memory is a little cloudy.

I hate these things.

The tiki torches, oh yeah.

Kind of like, remember getting mad at
them.

I was already upset about this and
containing myself.

But whoever did that outside in the yard
really was showing such disrespect.

I'm going to go find a girl.

That is my hairbrush. Oh, sorry. I do
this at home. I'm sorry.

That's not really how I operate.

Not really.

Sonia Dorinda.

Oh, God.

Sonia Dorinda.

Sonia, are you under those covers?
Because you better be hiding because I

like getting the strap out like my
father did and like hitting you on the

over the wire hanger.

Because I went downstairs, that
kitchen's a shithole. And what the heck

do outside?

Like what were you doing? Like throwing
the torches?

How would you know? You left for another
party.

Listen, I am on a mission to find a
partner, and I actually danced with some

men, and I actually got a nice date out
of it. So there you go. Oh, there's

something new. A date. Well, there you
go. You guys, it all fell apart here

after you left. What the heck happened?
I know it fell apart in my kitchen and

outside. Leah definitely is a bad
influence on me. On you?

You don't need no help from anybody.
You're just an influence on your own.

She threw a tiki, and I threw a tiki,
too.

I wasn't part of that. Oh, you threw the
tiki.

No, she was.

Leah! So, Leah, I was told... Look, by
the way.

That's beautiful.

So I was informed that you started this
tiki fight.

Oh, really?

I tend to do things extra.

I enjoy the cleaning of the kitchen.

Right.

Negate the flying of the torches? Yeah.

Well, can you do me a favor and skip
some of it? Of course I'm going to.

I have to say that Leah is no dumb
cookie. I think she purposely didn't

that he threw the torch and saw my
reaction and then cleaned that kitchen

fast that I couldn't even be that angry
with her.

Smart, Leah. You're smart. Okay, I give
you that.

Sonia and Dorinda. I'm coming.

I'm coming.

I'm coming.

Why are we getting blamed? We're not the
crazy person.

They said they're going to come down and
they're not down here.

What's that?

No, it's just that, you know, I've had
people here every weekend in my home.

Okay. I never woke up to a kitchen like
this. When I have people at my house, I

don't expect them to clean at night.

When you come to my house in the
Berkshires, I don't see you all been

don't have living out right now.

Get some help when you have company. I
don't come to people's houses. I didn't.

You left.

When the madam left, you connected all
of us to clean for you.

Oh, well, you know.

No,

Dorinda, you suck. Who does this? Who
does this?

I didn't say clean.

You should have stayed here last night
and said, let's all clean together.

Did you leave? Yes, you left.

Back here?

Let me do that. In fact, next time,
leave instructions.

I'll wash the toilet as well. I know
what it's like, Ramona, when people come

your house and don't respect it. Who
would ever do a thing like this?

It's funny, karma's a bitch. When Ramona
came to my house a couple years ago,

she ripped down all my paintings.

There were lights on the wall. She
ripped them down. The room's a disaster.

I don't know. I felt depressed about it.

The cojones of Ramona. All you have to
say is, you know what? Sorry. If you

here to help us, it would have happened.
That's it.

But you started off like this. I just
want to say this because I'm really

That's not a good way to say, you know
what?

Everybody, I went out.

You went to bed. Everybody, come on.
Come get up this morning and clean up

kitchen. Will you give me a hand?

Just keep fighting, ladies. Don't worry
about the tiki torches in the backyard.

I was fine until I went outside and I
saw this whole outfit. Well, I don't

I went to bed. I don't know what
happened outside. What happened outside?

Just go look. Go look.

It's not that bad. I mean, I feel like
the kitchen was worse than outside.

And they cleaned it all. The oil went
all over the grass, you know, because it

started fire or something. What is this?
I don't know.

This is ridiculous.

That's what got me upset. Kitchen's one
thing. Okay. But look at this. Look at

this. I know. This is like a frat house.
Thank you. Thank you. That's what made

me get really upset, okay? Because this
is very disrespectful. I would never do

this. This is my home. Yes. Well, now
you know how I feel.

All right. I take responsibility for the
tiki torches. And then you ruined my

stone. I felt like I was in Game of
Thrones. I got carried away.

I mean, this is Game of Thrones. You
thought you were at the Playboy Mansion.

Leah, there's another one over there,
please.

Look, an Orlean torture.

What was going on?

I wasn't over there. I don't know who
did that.

That wasn't me.

I'll pick them up.

Unbelievable, these girls.

I hate seeking torture.

Where's Tinsley?

I don't know. Shut her up. I don't even
care at this point.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New
York City.

So we're the last day.

It's our first show of the new Sonya by
Sonya Morgan.

I still try to please my mom. My mother
was very specific about not wanting me

to have my hair curled today for the
show. What? You know everything's all

I disagree when you said you were going
to have a drink. I think it's a

destructive path.

John never misses the opportunity to
make it.

Sometimes I think the relationship gets
stunted. It's like, fine, go off and do

it on your own then. It's like I have a
return phone call for two days. Leah,

are you wearing a Sonya dress? I was
supposed to wear this.

You know what? I told her to explain.

Seriously. I can't do it.

I think you're full of shit. And I think
you're passive aggressive.

For more on the Real Housewives, go to
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