Original subtitles

BELL RINGS

Come in.

Ah, Jean, how can I help?

I've heard a reporter might be coming here today.

Yes, Mr Jakes is coming to do an article

for the Cornish Evening Reader about our gardens.

I've so loved editing the school newsletter.

I wondered, might I be able to speak with him?

Are you interested in a career in journalism?

Yes. Then yes, of course I can introduce you.

Perhaps you could bring him a copy of the Malory Times to show him.

Would he be interested in something like that,

since he works for a proper newspaper?

Although if you have another piece of writing you'd like to show him...

I'll write something new.

He will be here in a couple of hours.

That doesn't matter. Journalists work to strict deadlines.

Right.

Well, do you know what you'd like to write about?

PHONE RINGS Oh, sorry.

Miss Grayling's office.

Do you feel it?

Those muscles are all you need

to command the 1,000-seater auditorium...

SHE SCREAMS

ALL: We are Malory Towers!

Good morning, Miss Vernon.

Oh, what can I do for you, Jean?

I know you get this all the time

and you're probably sick of talking about it.

I expect I would be if it was me...

Jean! Breathe.

Sorry.

JEAN EXHALES

I need to write an article to show a reporter from the local newspaper

and I was wondering if I could interview you.

Ah, of course!

Anything for my public.

You could try and show the real woman behind the star...

..or perhaps...look at my beauty regime.

Erm... May-maybe we could discuss

how you found yourself at Malory Towers.

Thanks, Billy.

What a splendid idea.

It's something my public doesn't know about me yet.

One more thing - the article needs to be finished by 11 o'clock.

Oh! Well, then, we'd best get started.

So, what was life like in Hollywood?

Oh, Jean...

It's everything you've heard and more.

Darrell!

Here comes trouble.

There's a fairground in the village.

The third form would love to have a go on the bumper cars.

Absolutely not.

You know the rules - no leaving school grounds.

But as head girl, can't you make an exception?

It's such a lovely day.

Stop it there, June.

What is it now? Jumping spiders? Exploding sneezing powder?

Got it - the old frog in the pocket.

THEY CHUCKLE

Felicity, you know we have a lot of revising to do.

Which is why we thought you might need cheering up.

There's a time and place for pranks.

Gosh, you two have become so old and boring.

You don't even know what fun is any more.

Come on, Felicity.

We're still fun, right?

She'd come round for a cocktail on a Saturday afternoon

after we'd finished for the week.

Gosh.

Would you like to visit Hollywood, Jean?

I'm not sure that's quite the life for me.

Oh, of course it is. It's a life for everybody.

THEY CHUCKLE

I still find it shocking when people run over to me

and ask for my autograph.

I may be a star...

..but, at heart, I'm still just a girl.

That's wonderful.

Well, I think I've got all I need.

Hollywood is so alluring -

the stars, the clothes, the glamour...

..but it's easy to forget that those people had to work so very hard

to get where they are.

It's actually meant to be quite a short article.

Miss Grayling may have grown up here,

but I think my more humble childhood gave me the drive to succeed.

And besides...

..Malory Towers will be MY home one day anyway.

It will?

Yes, isn't that something?

Miss Grayling doesn't have any children,

so the estate will pass down to my side of the family.

Until I saw it for myself,

I hadn't realised how extraordinary this place is.

Well, er, thank you so much.

You've given me a lot of information.

It's my pleasure!

Now, I just need to boil it down to one page.

Ah, good luck with that!

Thank you.

Erm... May I take your photograph?

Oh! Of course, Jean, I thought you'd never ask.

Just make sure you get me from my best angle.

Of course. OK. I'll try.

OK, you tell me when you're ready.

Right.

OK?

Now?

Oh, fantastic!

You'll let me know when it's published?

I will. Thank you so much. Have a lovely day.

Oh, Jean, you too.

Ta-ta! Ta-ta!

Do you think June might be right? Have we lost our touch?

No!

Although it has been a while since we played a trick on anyone.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

One final prank?

The best Malory Towers has ever seen!

ALICIA GIGGLES

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

Ah, Jean. Oh, Miss Grayling, I...

Oh...

Mr Jakes, this is our budding reporter Jean Dunlop.

Good morning, young lady.

Jean has something she'd like to show you.

I, er...

..I would like to be a journalist.

Ooh, you don't want to do that.

There's very few jobs, especially for women.

Then perhaps I could be the exception.

I've written this article.

Would you be so kind as to read it?

Are you prepared to accept criticism?

All my school essays get marked

and I try to pay attention to the teachers' comments.

Every writer needs an editor.

Very well, then. I'll give it a glance.

Thank you.

Er, Jean...

Oh, yes. Sorry.

"From Hollywood to Cornwall - an interview with Lily Vernon."

Is that THE Lily Vernon?

Yes.

The Hollywood film star?

I knew she was in the area, but she's...she's here?

She's my cousin.

Well, this sounds like a most promising article.

What if we can't think of a prank we haven't done before?

A true prankster can take inspiration from anything.

Like the abbot's curse?

What curse?

The one we're about to invent.

Tell me more.

I asked Miss Grayling if I could talk to him

and she said I could give him one of my articles to read and I think...

Oh, there you are!

Do you have a minute?

Of course.

So, I've had a look through your article, and...

..it's very good...

Thank you! ..for a first attempt.

A Hollywood star living right here under our noses.

This is certainly the sort of interview we would publish.

You're going to put my article in the newspaper?

We'll see.

It's a promising start, but every journalist needs to understand

all the facts so they don't miss something important.

What should I do?

Well, why don't we talk through your article in Miss Grayling's office

and then you can go and research anything I feel is missing?

That would be marvellous!

Thank you.

So Miss Vernon didn't grow up in Malory Towers with Miss Grayling?

No, Miss Vernon's father moved to America.

But he was the eldest son.

Surely he should have inherited the estate.

I suppose so.

I don't know why he didn't.

This is why you need to do your research.

My nose tells me there's an important part of the story missing.

Your nose?

Not my actual nose - my instincts as a journalist.

Oh.

How do you think you could research this?

I could ask Miss Vernon, or perhaps Miss Grayling.

True, although the people involved in the stories themselves

don't always see the full picture.

There are families in the village

who have worked on the estate for years.

One of them might know something.

Now you're thinking like a reporter.

I am? Do you know these people?

Some of them, yes.

Well, you should follow up your lead as soon as possible, then.

Ah, Mr Jakes, this is Miss Vernon, my cousin.

I, erm...

CLEARS THROAT

I'm so sorry. Erm...

It's truly an honour, Miss Vernon.

Mm... Such a gentleman.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

I was, erm, I was...I was...

..I was very impressed with young reporter Dunlop's article.

I think you're a fascinating subject for an interview.

Oh, why, thank you, Mr Jakes.

MISS VERNON CHUCKLES

We can use this to make him look a bit more, well, abboty.

And what do we know about the real abbot?

Only what Mr Parker told us.

Back when there was a monastery here, the abbot defied the king,

so the king's soldiers ran him through with their swords.

And that's why the abbot cursed the soldiers?

Darrell!

Yes!

No, he cursed anyone who swore allegiance to the king.

And the painting.

He haunted the painting to pass his curse on to future generations.

Right, OK.

And we are certain that we'll be

able to trick June into believing us?

Trust me, a master prankster knows their target inside out.

June won't be able to resist.

THEY CHUCKLE

So you're just fishing for gossip?

No, it's research.

Same thing, far as I can tell.

A good journalist needs to know all the facts,

but if you don't want to help...

Come on.

Sit down.

Great Granny Mary was a maid there.

She heard all the stories.

Go on, then, what do you want to know?

Why didn't Miss Vernon's father inherit the estate?

Because it was left to his brother instead.

Miss Grayling's father?

Yes. Why?

Great Granny Mary always said it was because Miss Vernon's father

"wasn't a reliable sort", whatever that means.

Goodness. Wasn't he angry?

Furious, apparently. Never stopped complaining about it.

Thought his brother had cheated him out of his rightful inheritance.

Why didn't he do something about it?

I don't know.

You'd have to ask Miss Grayling.

Are you going to...

Are you going to print that?

Thanks, Ron.

The truth is, Miss Vernon's father was left a large sum of money,

equal to the lands and buildings my own father inherited.

So why did he cause such a fuss?

Suppose it was a blow to his pride,

not inheriting the estate he thought he deserved.

Are you sure you don't mind me telling Mr Jakes all this?

It's good of you to ask,

but I presume all of this is just background information.

Yes, my article is about Miss Vernon

and her work here compared to life in Hollywood,

but Mr Jakes told me to get all the facts before I write anything.

Well, then, I'm happy to help.

You're going to make an excellent journalist, Jean.

Are you ready?

Yes.

OK, one, two, three.

It's working!

Boo!

Sh!

This is perfect!

And nobody will ever be able to call us boring again.

You know, I think this is going to be the most elaborate prank

ever seen at Malory Towers.

"But could it be even better?"

They're coming.

"Signe cum rege."

And again.

"Signe cum..."

No, I can't. What are you doing?

I'll do it.

"Signe cum..."

Stop it, you're putting me off.

Please tell me what you're up to.

W-we just wanted to find out if the abbot's curse was real.

What curse?

Apparently if you say this Latin phrase three times out loud,

the abbot will haunt you.

No, he won't, because he does not exist.

Y-you're probably right.

I guess we just wanted to know for certain

before we left Malory Towers.

So say it, then.

We're going to.

Er... Go for it, Darrell.

No, you first.

No, no, you go.

You're not scared are you?

Of course not!

You are, you're such scaredy-cats!

Well, better safe than sorry.

Not you as well.

Look - "signe cum rege. Signe cum rege. Signe cum rege."

See? Nothing.

Definitely no long-dead abbots.

Well, the curse says he doesn't materialise

until the clock strikes at eight.

You two are so gullible.

Come on.

See? I told you she'd go for it.

I should never have doubted the master prankster.

Why, thank you.

This is excellent work.

You show real potential.

Do you really think so? Absolutely.

Thank you. Should I start rewriting my article now?

Hmm?

Yes. And, please, take your time.

But isn't there a deadline?

Normally, yes, but I really want you to concentrate

on your writing style.

Don't rush things.

Oh, all right.

Anyway, I must dash.

I've got stories to write before we go to press.

How do I get my article to you?

GIRLS GIGGLE

It's nearly eight o'clock.

And no sign of the abbot.

Yet!

Maybe he's invisible.

Or maybe you're all very gullible.

Does anyone know any ghost stories?

OTHERS: Ooh! That's the last thing that we need!

Who's to say the abbot didn't leave a curse?

It can't be real...can it?

BELL TOLLS

It's time.

Eight o'clock and no abbot, just like I said.

RATTLING AND BANGING

What's that noise? Is it him?

NOISE BUILDS

Careful, June.

Is it him?

NOISE CONTINUES

SHE WHIMPERS

THEY SIGH

Is that the best you can do?

That was the worst prank in Malory Towers history.

Maybe you're right, June.

We are past it.

How silly do you think we are?

Come on, Alicia.

We know when we're beaten.

That's a lesson to you all.

Pranks are all well and good, but they have to be surprising.

That was a very poor attempt to frighten...

THEY SCREAM

THEY LAUGH

"Thank you! Time I take my bow now."

Miss Vernon.

Last night's newspaper.

"Malory Towers stolen from its rightful owner."

I don't like having my private life discussed in the press

and this is more about how my cousin's father

stole the family estate!

I'm sorry.

Ugh!

Mr Jakes, you wrote a factually inaccurate account of my family.

You're entitled to your opinion...

..even if no-one cares about it.

You never said you were going to write your own article.

You never asked.

I'm so sorry, Miss Grayling.

Elizabeth!

Lily.

Jean, you had best go.

No! No, no, no! Let her stay.

She started this.

I assume you're referring to last evening's newspaper.

This isn't about last night!

It's about spending my whole childhood in poverty

because of your father!

That isn't what happened.

Well, that's what it says in the newspaper.

That doesn't mean it's true.

Even though it is.

It's not unfair, Elizabeth.

I just want what is rightfully mine.

Please!

Mr Jakes, this is what I invited you here to see.

And what is that?

It is a copy of our grandfather's will.

You will note his wax seal.

This proves that it was his decision to leave the house to my father.

There was no foul play, Lily.

Mr Jakes, you caused all this trouble for nothing.

You were the one who didn't check your facts.

Yet I'm the one whose story was read by thousands of people last night.

You've made me feel like a fool.

I think it's best you leave, Mr Jakes,

as you certainly have no interest in the truth.

The truth is whatever people believe.

Last night was brilliant!

I can't stop smiling.

They'll still be talking about that prank when THEY'RE in the sixth!

Nancy? You all right?

I'm worried about sleeping.

Why? What's wrong?

Last night, I saw the abbot's face in the dark.

But the curse wasn't real. That was just a prank.

I'm not lying! I know what I saw!

We'd better go after her.

Look, it's just a painting.

A haunted painting.

No, it's not.

Well, I'm scared to go to sleep in case the abbot comes for me.

He's not real.

Saying these words doesn't do anything.

But you were afraid to say them yesterday.

We were just pretending so we that could trick June into saying them.

Look - "signe cum rege, signe cum rege, signe cum rege."

I know it's not eight o'clock yet,

but, really, Nancy, there's nothing to be afraid of.

We're sorry if we scared you, but, honestly, it was just a prank.

Are you all right now?

I feel bad. I didn't mean to frighten anyone.

Well, hopefully we set Nancy's mind at rest.

Did you change the clocks?

No.

Perhaps they stopped earlier.

At exactly eight o'clock?

It's...a coincidence.

CLOCK CHIMES

What's going on?

Ha-ha. Very funny.

The third form did this.

Well, we're not falling for it this time.

THEY SCREAM

THEY LAUGH

Nancy, you were great!

I'm sorry, Jean,

that you had to learn about the dark side of journalism the hard way.

I hope it hasn't dented your enthusiasm.

It does make me wonder if it's worth doing if that's who I turn into.

And I suppose it depends on whether you think journalism

will change you or whether you will change journalism.

If my father inherited all this money...

..why did I grow up with nothing?

Because he spent it all.

That's right, Jean.

He preferred to blame my father, rather than take responsibility.

But, one day, you will inherit Malory Towers,

so the estate will be yours in the end anyway.

That is true...although I do hope it won't be for a long time.

What is it?

I'm afraid you will never inherit Malory Towers, cousin.

What do you mean?

The estate has been placed in a trust to ensure it remains a school.

What's a trust?

A trust is an organisation where a group of people agree

to take care of something together.

I don't get anything?

I'm sorry. I thought you would have been notified.

It was the best way for me to ensure that Malory Towers

continued for future generations.

I'm sorry.

My article has caused nothing but trouble.

No. No, no.

It's good to know where I stand.

Those third formers really tricked us, right, Mr Skeleton?

Alicia.

Jean! How was your article?

Complicated.

I think I need to choose a new subject.

This one has caused a LOT of trouble.

How about a history of the cursed abbot?

How did you get along with the reporter?

He wasn't everything I thought he'd be.

I hope he didn't put you off becoming a journalist.

Quite the opposite - he's made me determined

to be a better one than him.

Oh, sounds like you've found out what you want to do with your life.

I think I have.

"Well done!"

JEAN SHRIEKS

LAUGHTER

Mission accomplished - there were two cowardy-custard sixth formers.

Yoo-hoo! We have something for you!

You did well today, especially Nancy. You really had us going.

At least we know the future of pranking at Malory Towers

is in safe hands.

Thank you. I'm proud of my younger sister.

Enjoy!

They're very good sports.

They know when they've met their match.

Uh...

Darrell! Alicia!

Stop it! No need to look so...

BOTH: ..blue!

LAUGHTER

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