All language subtitles for Ghosts.Australia.S01E06.Meet.the.Neighbours.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-RAWR

We did it, Gerard.

Empty, uninhabited land.

Natives
may have been here, sir.

Oh, my dear, paranoid fusspot.

Do you see any natives around?

Well, that could have been left
by wild animals.

Ah, look, a large mammal that's
capable of shedding its fur.

Incredible, sir.

Gerard, the oar!

Quickly! Quickly, man.

Here we go.

Yes, thank you, best friend.

Hey!

By order of the King,

I hereby claim this land for
His Majesty King George.

The settlers will be so
excited.

Let's release
the celebratory rabbits.

Yes, yes, yes, yes! Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, Bunnikins and Flopsy
will provide healthy recreation

for our new settlement.

Ooh!

Oh, farewell, adorable vermin.

Mwah! Oh!

Oh, have fun getting shot at
for sport.

Mwah! Alright.

Now go forth and multiply.

Such a sustainable choice.

Shall we release the cane toads
as well, sir?

Tomorrow. Mm!

Come on, come on.

Cuddle time is over.

Come on, Gerard, sing the song.

♪ Two best friends... ♪

- Oh!
- ♪ Two bunny friends

- ♪ Two best bunny friends... ♪
- Oh!

Oh, they can't leave me!

- ♪ Two best friends... ♪
- They'll never leave me.

♪ Two bunny friends... ♪

They'll never leave me,
but they have to leave me.

- I think it's time, sir.
- Alright.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

What do you reckon
people do in the country?

Like, should we take up a
hobby?

Bushwalking or...

- Birdwatching?
- Yeah.

- Mm-hm.
- Fishing?

You know what we can do?

- We can swim.
- No, we can't.

- Yep.
- No, no, we can't, Kate. No.

- Come on.
- No, we can't.

According to
the farmers' markets,

this is home to
a particularly spiteful family

of bull sharks.

And jellyfish and algae.
Look. See?

No, no! Kate, don't.
Let me check the shark app.

There's no bull sharks.
No jellyfish.

There's nothing even remotely
dangerous about these waters.

- Look.
- Yoo-hoo!

Hi, hi!

We're the neighbours.

Hello.

- Richard.
- Joy.

We're coming over.

Jim, take us over.

It's electric.

Lovely to finally meet you.

We were wondering
who owned this vast... land.

Hardly vast,
but we have been away.

We've just come back from

the most wonderful
round-the-world cruise.

- How lovely.
- Ah!

- Do you cruise?
- Ooh.

- No.
- No.

No, actually. No.

Have you been here long?

Oh, well, you could say that.

Richard is descended from
the town's founder,

Gerard Larkin.

Wow.

Gerard Larkin founded
the town? Ha!

Why, I could bore you all day
with details on why she's
wrong.

For starters, I was the one
first off the landing party.

I put my foot down,
and I remember it

because I got soggy socks
for a week.

And I'm sixth generation,

so you could say
we've always been here.

- Ah.
- Wow.

Yeah.

With the colony in need of

new pastures for livestock,

the Governor
had approved an expedition

to settle the fertile lands
beyond the three waterholes.

Well, well, well!

Let me tell you
how that went, Katherine.

Not very well, Gerard.

I'm sure you've noticed

that our mutual boundary's
in dire straits.

I mean...

It was, of course,
a great honour

to be chosen to lead the party.

- Ohh! Ah!
- Oh, sorry. I just tripped.

- Uh, fixing the fence?
- Yeah, that's right.

Uh, I've got a couple of
quotes.

Looks like it's going
to come in at 40.

Dollars?

40,000.

- Dollars? Dollars.
- Hm!

But split between two,
it's only 20 grand each.

Sound reasonable?

No, there's literally not 20K
in here for a stupid fence.

I mean, they're well off.

Can't we just cry poor?

Oh, I'm not a fan of crying
poor to rich white people. Nuh.

But you are poor.

Your man
is also bone idle,

or he'd be fixing the fence
himself.

Don't give him the
satisfaction. Larkin's as
sketchy as.

- Oh! What do you know?
- Nothing.

Snitches get stitches,

and stitches
can get heavily infected.

- Wait, what do you know?
- No... Well, nothing. I just...

What happens
on a private property

between a man, a woman
and their dog is...

I don't want to talk about it.

The Larkins were low-down
sheep duffers.

And worse, Protestant.

The Larkins stole my radishes.

- They did not!
- Oh, my goodness.

I think you're all forgetting
that the Larkins are very rich

and therefore better people.

My fiance Roland was a Larkin.

General consensus is
the Larkins are terrible,

give or take Miranda's fiance.

OK, look, the Larkins
may be cringe and everything,

but they are our neighbours,

so why don't we just
invite them over to drinks

and we can blow
smoke up their butts.

- OK, but no crying poor.
- No, no, no crying poor.

Crying... nice.

- Deal.
- Uh! I love crying.

So it's a dinner party, then.

I love crying at dinner
parties.

Hey, guys!

Notice you've got
some jungle-y patches,

so we're lending you
'The Beast'.

Yeah!

Cost an absolute bomb,
but she purrs.

Meow!

Woof. Woof, woof, woof.

No, Richard. Leg.

Here you go, sweetheart.

Thank you!

I'm sure you've noticed

our little vineyard, by the
way.

Yeah.

We stomp the grapes
with our own bare feet.

Mm.

- Hm.
- Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Mmm!

Mmm!

We named it Gerard's grapes

after Richard's famous
ancestor.

It's really, um...
it's, like, zesty.

- Mm!
- The obfuscation continues.

Why, this portrait is, well,
shall we say, very flattering.

Pfft!

Your uncle seemed
a bit of a sad character.

You know, reclusive.

I never met him.
He was on my dad's side, so...

And your mother is... Indian?

First Nations.

Of course. How lovely. Ohh!

Do you know the Johnsons?

They're the Aboriginal family
in town.

No, I don't. No.

That portrait is far smoother
of skin and bushier of
moustache

than when I knew Gerard, when
he was busy not founding the
town.

Pfft! The man was a pleb.

This is so yum.

Do you mind if I grab a
top-up? -Oh, go for your life.

The 2022 has an amazing finish,
doesn't it?

Yes. Yes! So good.

Joon.

Hmm?

Hmm?

I need you to distract Gideon
for me.

OK.

- Gideon!
- Ehh... What?

Uh...

Spit it out, man.

What is this?
What are you doing?

Stop that. Stop... Ugh!

I need you
to listen to his story.

- Argh!
- Please?

- I'll buy you a metal detector.
- Whuh?

- It detects metal.
- Whuh?

Gold is a metal.

Bah!

- Gideon.
- Hm?

To hear your story
would be an honour.

Please talk at me.

Finally.

Joy, Joy, would you like
to come over here

and tell me more about
the, um, gren...'grenackie'?

Aren't you gorgeous?

It's grenache.

Just like how much light
this place gets.

Are you, uh...
You a dog man, Sean?

Uh, I'm a turtle man.

Yeah, I had turtles as a kid.

Yeah.

I had a gorgeous kelpie once.

- Mm-hm?
- Mm.

Grover.

Ah.

I'm a kelpie man.

Uh-oh.

- Yeah.
- Hm.

He just ran away one day.

It's possible I loved him
too much.

Oh.

The thing is we're,
like, six months off

opening the guesthouse.

12. 12. 12 months, really.
Um, yeah.

And then after that, once
the revenue starts coming in,

we're more than happy
to pay for the fence.

Well, Richard and I
have had a little chat

and we're happy
to cover the costs.

- Real... really?
- Mm-hm.

Really? I mean...

- That's very generous.
- Really.

See? Wonderful rich people.

There's always a catch
with the Proddies.

I'm not taking me eye
off these two.

We'll just need to move the
fence back to where it belongs.

Two birds and all that.

- Sorry?
- Hm?

Oh, that sad old thing's

built three metres too close
to our house.

Like...

- Oh. Oh, too... too close?
- Hm.

Uh, but you can't even see
the fence from your place.

Uh, look, a bit of
a tits-up, honestly.

- Our son, Dickie Jr...
- Dickie!

...did the work.

I mean, very talented,
very fast.

Just a little too fast.

Nearly as fast as Grover.

You know, I'd whistle,
he'd be all over me in a flash

and jumping up and licking
and nibbling.

No, Richard.

You want... my land?

Well, yes.

You know, spiritually,
your land.

But technically, you know...

...legally ours.

Hm. Mm-hm.

As it transpired,

the land around Ramshead

wasn't completely uninhabited.

Are you alright?

This is helping me listen.

Just so you know,

that gesture is quite offensive
to Anglo-Saxons.

Thank you.

There was an incident at
one of our spiffy new fences.

The...

Hello, chaps! Good morning.

Oh, what's this?

Kangaroo or a possum, perhaps?
Hmm?

May I? Oh, thank you.

Mmm!

Oh, yummy.

Gerard, do you remember
that Spanish barbacoa?

I daresay this is even better.

That's mutton, sir.

They killed one of our sheep.

They must be punished.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

Er, well, my dear,
impetuous hothead,

the King's orders are
to establish cordial relations

with the natives.

The picture cards, Gerard.

Thank you.

Yes. Er...

Ye... Oh. Sally.

Oh. Broke her hip.

Hm. Don't ride roos.

Um... Ah!

Sheep.

Fluffy. Moronic. Delicious.

Baaarbacoa.

But they're ours, you see.

And the punishment
for theft is...

- Where's the hanging card?
- It's in
there.

Should be in there.

The, um... Uh...

Man... go... bye-bye.

Eh... Er...

Here.

Look.

Yes, yes, I know.

Rather nasty business, isn't
it?

But worry not.

Since I have claimed this land
for the Crown,

you're now subjects of the
King,

which means that you're now
under King's law.

Your king? Our land?

Oh, the King's English.
Bravo, sir.

You block our waterholes.
You block our hunting.

Well, how about this,
my noble friend?

- I'll write to the Governor.
- How long's that gonna take?

Uh, well, he may need to write
back to His Majesty in England,

so it should only take
about a year or two.

And in the meantime, I'll let
you chaps off with a warning.

No, this is us letting you off
with a warning.

- Oh!
- That's a threat, sir.

There may be some discontent
if you just let them off.

Oh, pish! This is going to be
a wonderful exchange.

We'll teach them
to be civilised,

and they'll teach us
some delicious recipes.

Uh, I say,
what's the secret seasoning?

- Saltbush and stolen land.
- Uh...

It means piss off
and don't come back.

Oh, piss... piss off, eh?

Piss? Is that a spice?

Hmm.

Richard. No.

Sorry.

Where are they? I'm starving.

It's rude.

And do you know the Johnsons?

Come on!

I know.

I thought Richard's dog thing
was a red flag.

Oh, my God, that wine
makes me need a drink.

Alright.

Guys, these are all the
property docs that I could
find.

Everyone pick a page and read.

Except for Eileen,
who can't read. Ah!

I can read a room.

Let me tell you, there's a big
secret the shiny woman's
keeping

from the mopey-looking fella.

Ah! Amazing. What is it?

How would I know?

Only God above can read minds.

- Their kid's a meth-head.
- Ooh!

I will not tell you
any more than that.

Tell us more.

Dick Larkin Jr

was one of my biggest
customers.

- Lindy...
- I remember him!

No wonder he built that fence
so fast.

I don't know if I can mention
the addict son.

I think that's kind of mean.

What was he addicted to?

And please do not say
the love of a loyal canine.

This is why you're going to
lose

with your sad little
middle-class feelings, Kate.

I'm not going to lose anything

because I used to be
a really good lawyer

and now I'm a really good
lawyer who's really, really
annoyed.

Aye, that's it.
Drink up, drink up.

Take your medicine.

That'll put some fire in your
belly. Oh, yes.

Now, new settlements require

not just a heroic founder

but also a brilliant
magistrate.

And fortunately for the unruly
settlers, I was both.

Order!

Order!

This crime is punishable
by hanging.

The natives killed a sheep

and made some truly inspired
barbacoa

and you ungrateful settlers
hunted them down

and remorselessly dispatched
several members of their tribe.

Order!

Order!

Order!

You have murdered
subjects of the King.

A good hanging is the only way
you'll learn.

Sir, are you sure
you want to take the side

of those filthy savages

over your own kind?

You mean noble natives,

and you'll find that
this execution

projects strength, rule of law,
that sort of thing.

Ohh.

- Why...
- This is not justice.

This is not justice.

- Hm. Good point, sir.
- Hm!

The people may despise you

but that's a small price to pay
for justice.

Then again...

...mercy is a virtue.

On this one occasion,

I will let you naughty chaps
off with a warning.

But it happens again...

- What's that?
- What's that?

The kiss...

...of death.

And thus, the harmony
of our fledgling settlement

was maintained.

Are you following, Joon?

- "Two best friends."
- Ah!

- "Two bunny friends."
- Yes.

♪ Two best bunny friends... ♪

Oh, you are listening!

What else?

Piss off.

Yes, 'pessiff' -

that delicious spice
that they must have used

on the barbacoa.

The fence is definitely
in the wrong place.

Ask anyone in town.

Speaking as a lawyer, that's
a little anecdotal for me.

I might go into
the local council tomorrow

and take a look
at the original surveys.

Yeah.

Just dropped the word 'lawyer'

in the convo.

Nice one, Kate.

Speaking as a councillor,

we have some serious doubts
about two outsiders

opening a hotel
in our little village.

Just not in keeping with
the local character.

Hm! And an immediate riposte.

S-sorry, you've got a problem
with the hotel now?

Oh, sorry.

Just a little... power nap.

Whatever doubts
you may have, Joy,

I doubt you want to go to
court.

Court?
Who said anything about court?

Yeah, who did say anything?

Well, at the very least,

your son built a dodgy fence

and you neglected it for years,

so you'd be paying for the
fence and our...

..legal fees.

OK.

You're being very aggressive
right now.

Richard, come.

Oh, back to the doghouse.

I wish.

What?

I have a secret,
but I'm keeping it.

I'm keeping it really secret,
so w... uh, watch.

We tried to be nice,

but if I have anything
to do with it,

your little hotel
will never see a guest.

- Richard!
- Oh!

Honestly, they're just starting
to give rich people a bad name.

Thank you.

Oh, God, I regret it.

I regret it. I regret that.
I regret that.

- What's in there?
- This looks serious.

- Yeah.
- Yep.

Well, I need to prove
the original boundary lines.

Surveys, maps, anything.

Yes, yes, yes,

to prove that
I founded the town.

Oi, Curly here
didn't found the town.

That's right.
Old snaggletooth Larkin did.

No, no! Bah! Lies!

Yes, that's right.

- Exactly. Oh, I...
- Guys, guys.

I have a raging
sulphite headache,

so if you're not gonna be
helpful, can you just drift
off?

He should drift off.

They're wrong, Katherine.
I swear to you.

If nothing else,

I did my duty.

The natives are burning
the farmhouses down.

You have to arm the men.

My dear, panicky worry wart,

I...I don't know what
they've got in a lather about.

I gave these naughty settlers
a stern warning.

The natives don't understand.

You have to go out
and speak to them, sir.

Now?

Uh, they seem rather heated.

You're the only one
that can fix this, sir.

They offered you mutton once.

They'll do it again.

They respect you, sir.

Just as much as I do.

Yes.

- Yes?
- Yes, yes, yes.

I...I suppose you're right.
I...

You're a hero. You are.

Thank you, Gerard.

You'll go down
in history, sir.

Excuse me, chaps!

What say
we sort this out, eh?

You there!

Put that down!

Ah!

Ooh!

That didn't go quite as well
as I'd hoped.

You're alright, sir.

We'll get that thing out of you
in a jiffy.

You just have a little lie-down
there.

- Thank you, Gerard.
- Yeah.

You always were
my most faithful friend.

Yes.

What's that smell?

Oh.

Alright, lads!

Now, now, let's not

escalate things any further.

I said stand down,
you rapscallions!

- Get out there!
- Come on!

No mercy, lads!

And, you, clean up this mess.

Arghh!

Gerard!

Ger...

Wow.

So he set you up
and started a war.

What?
No, that's not what happened.

No, he... he was my closest
ally.

Oh, no, he hated you, guv.

Behind your back, he called you
all sorts of things.

Know-nothin' blowhard.

A cotton-headed
koala shagger.

Yeah, and after that,
he'd start insulting you.

So many names.

Wait, so you were all working
for Gerard?

Oh, no, no, we wanted
no part of the bloke.

No, not us.
Definitely not.

- We never wanted to come here.
- Oh, we're sorry, Kate.

Please forgive us.
Please forgive us.

- We didn't mean anything by it.
- Oi!

Mob were fighting
for their lives.

I am not dealing with
white ghost guilt right now.

Yeah, Kate!
That's what I've been saying.

- I'm so sorry.
- Sorry.

- Sorry about that.
- God.

Oi! -Here she comes.
Here she comes.

You better retract that thing
before I retract it for you.

Oh, relax.
I'm not on your property.

And you never will be,

because you are a pair of

land-grabbing gubbas.

'Gubbas'? That's what
the Johnsons call us.

Oh, Richard,
don't listen to her.

She's unhinged.

Where's your evidence?

The evidence is buried
under that tree.

- She's a murderer too.
- What?

So who are you talking to?

There is a body buried
under that tree.

What's she talking about?

What am I talking about?

Well, I am gonna tell you
what I'm talking about.

She killed the dog.
The family dog.

- Oh, the dog?
- She killed the dog.

15 years ago,

you ran over your pet kelpie
on purpose.

Or maybe it was accidentally.

And then
in the middle of the night,

you buried him under that tree,

which is not as bad as that.

But you know what,
it's still pretty bad.

Bad!

You ran over Grover

with the family Land Rover!

Darling, it was an accident.

I knew it!
You never liked him.

OK, look, I was allergic
to dogs, but did you care?

No.

15 years without a dog.

I loved that dog.

What a load
off.

I remember Grover.

He was a good little boy,
he was.

Katie, I'm very sorry
for all the upset today.

The fence can stay where it is.

Oh, Richard, no!

Ahhh!

Ohhh!

There's your mower.

Oh!

Go fetch.

I must say, Katherine,

you were quite brave

facing down those Larkins,

defending your land.

Oh, so it's my land now, is it?

Well, yeah...
well, let's be clear.

I was here first.

Oh, you weren't, though,
were you?

And I'm not from here either.

And I'm taking time to pay my
respects to the people who
were,

so if you'd like to.

I...

I do have some regrets
for my actions, you know.

Like?

Well, I could have built
your people

a little gate for the
waterhole.

Oh!

Gideon, are there any bigger
regrets that spring to mind?

I should have gifted them
some rabbits.

But I never wrote down
that recipe for the barbacoa.

Gideon, if we're gonna
keep living together,

you're going to have to learn
to stop talking

and think.

Y...

No, no.

No, no, no.

- Uh, I...
- Gideon.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.