Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New York City.

There we go!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Get Mario!

This is your husband!

You look good!

It's been really difficult with Scott. We're officially done and broken up. No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm doing the cabaret. I, I, I.

I'm not narcissistic. Everybody's got their shit.

It's enough.

Luann said you were, like, manic.

And so she was asking if you were on pills or something.

Miami Beach, here we come.

What the f***?

This is the best house I've ever been to.

Luann, my guy.

And now you're really pissing me off. Just say part of your story. Don't tell

what to say. I'll say whatever the f*** you want.

Get off your high horse! I will not put up with this. Go to f***.

sleep now.

I'm going to knock you out. Do it. Right now. Hit me with your... Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Did something just break down there?

Sonia. I'm going to knock you out. I'm going to knock you out. I'm going to

knock you out. I'm going to knock you out. You're going to bed.

Take your shoes off. I'm going to knock you out. Take your shoes off. I am.

Sonia, I'm going to knock you out. No, it's not okay.

I'm going to knock you out.

I had a Ziploc. It had more makeup in it. Tell the truth. Did you hit

She did. I don't think she did. I didn't see. Tell me where. I don't see a mark.

I saw her hit her head. Tell me where.

What's this right here?

Tell me where. I saw her hit a ledge.

Tell me the fucking truth right now, Sonia. We should call the paramedics.

You just hear horror stories. Oh, someone fell and then died in the middle

the night.

So I want the paramedics here because I need to know with 100 % absolute

certainty that Sonia is okay.

I know. You could. I know. I know. I know. I know. This is your big night.

a big night. It's a big night.

I didn't do anything. I'm wrong. Ramona, you're crashing my career. I did

everything wrong. You did nothing. I did everything wrong. Your ass is amazing.

Thank you. I did everything wrong.

Oh, my God.

It's amazing. Oh, my God.

Seriously. Just lie back or something. I just want to sleep with Bethany. What

happened? What the fuck are you doing? It's a fashion show.

We're going out.

You're going out.

Bitch, I'm in. You're my lover.

Are we not going out now?

Wait, should I do?

You should go out.

Nothing's going to be done.

She's ready to go out with you. She might not be ready.

You know I would tell you.

I'm going to stay.

She's going to take care of you. We'll be back in an hour.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Don't lie. Don't make a joke.

Who's the president?

Clinton? No.

Really? Who's the president?

Oh, that f***ing Trump guy. Okay, good.

There's nothing I can do for Sonia. She's laughing. She's talking.

Nothing is broken.

She's already in good hands, so I'm out of here.

I'm not. I'm leaving the bed.

Oh, my God. I need to use the gun. All right. Just relax. Don't get crazy.

Did somebody fall?

Oh, I fell. I got hurt here. She tripped and, in my opinion, just missed the

table but hit her foot.

And we just want to make sure she didn't hit her head. We can check her vitals.

We'll be checking her vitals. Okay, great. That's good. Okay, good. That's

That's good. That's good. This guy's hot.

I know.

I know. It happens to be hot. Okay. It's not accessible. Can you check her, too?

It's not appropriate.

Not appropriate.

Oh, my God.

What is right there? Is it a party across the way? It's a bed.

Oh, my God. They think it's starting at the hospital?

I had a car accident. I had to go for MRI. That looks really scary. I don't

know. Is this our car?

Yeah. Pinch.

Don't be stressed out. It's all gonna be fine. All right, go. Take a deep breath

now. Barbara came and she told me the paramedics were there and after

that she said to me, I just can't look at Sonya right now.

It was so hurtful. I just can't move.

Do you take any medications on a daily basis?

Okay. No, but I am allergic to dust mites. Okay, so no medications.

Everything's checking out fine.

Okay.

I am very relieved to hear that Sonya's pupils don't appear to look like she's

taken anything.

And I want to shove that straight up Luann's ass because it's a really

accusation. And it's not a cavalier thing you run around saying.

But do you think someone should check on her every couple hours for sure? Make

sure she's awake every couple hours for sure?

Okay.

Oh,

they have really good training here.

Okay, Ramona, cheers to you, girl.

This is their signature drink.

I don't know if there's any apple in this.

Oh, it's for the menu.

Now you want a wine?

Now she eats a pina grigio. But now I need a pina grigio.

Do you have that?

I don't mean to sound super annoying, but I just feel like I've got to say

right now about myself. I'm sorry, no, no, no, no.

For me, Miami was me and God.

Miami is just bringing up the good times with...

Me and Scott.

Big hugs now.

Big hugs. Big hugs.

And it's just bringing up all the fun and excitement of something I thought

going to be something forever.

I haven't been to Miami without him.

Oh, is that your place?

Our first long date ever. Our first long date.

Our first date. Our first date. He sent me those flowers.

Hello. We got some flowers.

No. Oh, my God. That was the year before.

He sent me the flowers of Mexico.

For me?

Thank you for the best and longest first date ever.

That's so sweet. Oh, my gosh.

And now I'm here in Miami, which reminds me of him already, and we're not

together. I can send you flowers. Send me flowers.

I'll send you flowers.

What kind of flowers do you want, babe?

Hensley has been obsessed with Scott, like obsessed.

She needs to get herself out there and back in the game.

You know what, it's like this. We have a drink here. We have a drink here. Okay,

here's the man in your life. Then you have this in your life. Then you have

in this. You can't put all your eggs in one basket or all your concentration

here. Because if something goes wrong here, you react so bad. Right. But if

have this going on and this going on and this.

And this. And this one.

You're not so devastated because you have all this great stuff going on.

Who's this one? I don't know, but someone.

He's the hot tamale.

I like this one.

You know, that's what it's all about.

Can we get coffee?

Why is there nobody here to help? What is going on?

Oh, my God.

I don't stay up that late. That was a dramatic, dramatic experience.

You don't like staying up drinking peanut beer, do you? I do, because we

a lot.

I like that part.

After what happened, I just need time to be alone

and process and ease my way into the day with the women. I just I'm not in a big

rush.

You're sleeping, you two. Come on.

What's going on?

Looks like a beautiful day. I'm going to do yoga quickly. I'll come up after

this. Get up. It's too beautiful to sleep.

I feel great.

You feel great?

You're the medics here last night.

I know, because look at this.

What did they do, take blood samples?

No. What is that? I don't know.

Those Miami Vice houses are not made for flipping like the pony with four legs

going out from underneath.

But I do know how to fall. You know, I learned that from horseback riding.

Sonia!

I'm all right, Kelly. Don't worry.

I scared you guys a bit. Sorry about that.

I had a traumatic night last night. I don't even know how to describe it. You

missed. Luann left the dinner before you even got there. She was just screaming

at someone for coffee.

Downward dog.

Hold it there.

Keep breathing through the nose as you do it. Keep your belly pulled in tight.

Where's the coffee?

Where are my minions?

Give me my coffee.

Luann's the Joan Crawford of coffee. Like, I need coffee!

She was screaming.

She's making a little success look real bad.

Oh, my God. We look good.

I think we look good, right? Is this a skinny mirror, or is we really look this

good? All this working out is working out.

All this working out is working out for our bodies.

Nobody's down here?

I'm going to make those eggs the way that I make eggs. I make eggs really

I just don't have work. All right, you make them.

What are you doing?

I'm glammed up for my day.

Oh, no. Oh, that's cute.

Oh, I like this bathing suit. It comes in black. It's $40.

Good. You got no bruises? You're not banged up at all? Oh, I feel great. But

do have a bruise here from falling on the table. And thank you for checking on

me to make sure I was alive.

Thank you.

Oh,

thank you.

She's like, no more skinny girl coffee ever.

She's definitely in her own world. She's in her own world is right.

Here's the thing I struggle with.

One minute I feel bad for Luann, and I treat her with this fragility, and then

when I do it, she makes me feel less of a person, so then I want to be angry at

her. The girls have told me for years, you don't know this Luann, you don't

this Luann. I maybe ignored this Luann because my love for her was bigger, but

Luann's a narcissist, and I don't deal with narcissism well.

Hey, good morning.

Hey, how are you?

I'm pretty good.

Ramona's out there talking over there.

Well, enjoy that.

That's not going to go anywhere.

Did you do yoga?

Yeah, it was great. It was just what I needed.

Last night was pretty awful.

Don't you agree?

Well, what did you think was awful?

Maybe the girls getting trashed and trashing me.

You know, girlfriends are supposed to build you up, not tear you down.

I think they have a problem with my success is the problem.

Oh, I don't think so.

I love doing what I do. I found something I love. We love that you love

No, you don't. You try to rip it apart. All of them do.

After falling on my face, all they have to do is rip me down. Because you

usually... Come on, guys.

Sonia, would you be quiet now? Now you're really pissing me off.

I would never watch you sleep with anyone that ever dated.

You take and take, and you just expect, and you have an entitlement about you. I

think that they feel that your attitude to the group is that you have this,

like, aloof, condescending.

You know what they do? They go to the countess when they have to hide behind

their non -support of me doing well.

I really don't know if we can get through to Luann. She's not aware of it.

number one and b she doesn't want to acknowledge it and c she doesn't believe

so well she's surrounded by people who tell her she's god you also don't

i'm trying to stay sober and you're getting wasted i can be around people

drink i can't be around sloppy drunks they don't want to see me do well which

really disappointing that is so they don't want to see me doing well that is

completely wrong now we're all very proud how you turned your life really so

then why did they treat me like they do last night i think because did you see

what happened at the table are you blind

Coming up.

Why don't you just say to me, you know what, Sonia, I think you're a little

manic and you're taking pills.

If I went around saying that about you, you'd be in jail.

I can be around people that drink. I can't be around sloppy drunks. Did you

what happened at the table or are you blind?

I just, Sonia, had a bone to pick with you and she expressed herself.

A bone to pick? Every time I see her, she's drunk.

I can't talk to somebody who's drunk. Do you understand what I'm saying?

That I understand. As a friend. No, I understand. I cannot watch her spiral

into into the darkness because that's what's happening to her.

Barbara came into my room. She told me that she fell flat on her. I mean, you

know how lucky she didn't hit herself on the table and kill herself last night.

You didn't check on Sonia. I didn't check on Sonia because I didn't know

happened to Sonia. I was in bed.

After Sonia said some devastating things to me last night, nobody's checking on

me to see how I'm doing.

Anybody check on me? Are you okay, Lou?

Did I bring a bottle of vodka back to my room? Which God knows I wanted to.

Last night was extreme.

Can I, may I ask what you drank last night? Just those rum things. No, no.

many? Like five.

Five drinks and what kind of glass?

I mean, maybe the 24 ounce tumbler.

I mean,

listen, I'm not going to lead a horse to water. As you know, that's people's

choice. Well, you can say you're going. But I'm going to say I'm going.

Do you want to join me? Yeah.

Because I know she cares about you.

Everyone's got a discord here. I don't know what's going on.

I don't want it to be like that. I needed this trip.

I needed to have some sun.

No, I understand.

This is not what I expected.

It'll work out. It better work.

Where's Barbara?

10 .30. Is she awake?

I just feel like she's not down with us.

No one ripped her or anything? Nothing happened to her?

She's experiencing trauma.

It was really mean last night.

Ramona excluding her from going out. You want to come?

No. What about Barbara?

Tinsley and I are going to catch up.

Tinsley and Ramona still have to catch up. I feel like you're being left out. I

want to catch up. I am.

So maybe Barbara could be like a girl who's in one of my daughter's classes

just feels like she's at the wrong lunch table.

And maybe this isn't her vibe.

Sonia, are you okay?

Barbara told me that you fell last night. Yeah, I did. Are you all right?

yeah, I'm great. I feel great.

Did you hit your head?

No. I'm worried about you. It's not normal that you face plant at a dinner

table. Oh, really?

You who fall in the bushes?

Or like your jokes do.

Yes,

I do, but at least I own it. I know that I have an issue with drinking.

I need to find a place of moderation.

I'm going to rein it in. It happens.

But I don't need you, by the way. Do you understand that I worry about you as my

friend? No, I don't think you worry about me at all. I do worry about you.

why don't you complain to the girls? Why don't you just say to me, you know

what, Sonia, I think you're a little manic and you're taking pills.

I don't need you saying that to people. If I went around saying that about you,

you'd be in jail.

I've been trying to talk. No, no. I tried to talk to you at Dorinda's party.

Yeah, well, you got to keep it tighter, Lou. You got to keep it between us. You

can't be going around throwing that shit out there. We were supposed to talk

this morning, okay?

You don't need to talk to me. All you have to do is touch me like this and

at me, Lou. I read your mind. So I'm touching you now and looking at you like

this. Okay, fine.

I'm worried about you. And I heard you. Okay. And I got it. Okay. Okay. All

right. Look, I'm not the drinking police. I love Sonia.

I've fallen into the bush. I didn't remember things. I don't want the same

happening to her. I'm going to go to a meeting.

You know, I would love for you to come with me.

It's not about you going to a meeting. It's about you being... Well, I'm going

with friends to meetings, yeah. Will you come with me?

They're great.

Will you come?

Let me see how I feel.

I don't want to go to AA with Luann on vacation.

I don't think I have a drinking problem because I've looked at all the rules. I

go to doctors, and I check off all the boxes, and I'm fine.

Good morning, ladies. How's it going?

Hey. How are you? We have two different POVs, but we're good. What?

Two different point of views, but we're good. Well, that's good.

That's okay. Everybody has their point of view. Well, let's try to treat each

other with respect. Can we have a good time? Baiting suit time? Yep, I'll have

them ready. You guys go to the pool.

I'm going to go to a meeting because it's going to help me just to stay good

today. Yeah.

Oh, we're trying to find you. I went for a run into Miami.

Did you survive last night? I heard it was tough.

That was a tough night.

You haven't seen nothing yet.

I'm going to go to a meeting. I'm going to join you girls at lunch.

Good morning.

If I upset you last night, I'm sorry.

Well, we're all strong personalities, so we're not easy to handle. That's for

sure. And we have opinions.

Are you kidding? Absolutely.

And feelings.

And alcohol.

And alcohol.

Yeah. We're going to all hang by the pool. You want to hang by the pool with

that? Yeah. Okay, good.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh.

Oh, boy. What a picture.

So pretty.

I think that's a very elegant bathing suit. That's very bad. Yeah, I like

It's that company I found online. Oh, shoot. I didn't take the plastic bit

I know. That's very elegant.

We're in paradise.

Everyone looks so good.

It's like we have our own exclusive resort here. It's really nice. Right?

easy. It feels like we're far away, not just in Florida.

So how many people are going to come tonight? A lot. I don't know. We're

to have 30 total.

The party not seen. I just get nervous.

Well, then uninvite some of your people.

You can uninvite some of your people, and that way you can get unnervous.

Just start uninviting. Give me their numbers. I'll do it for you.

Ramona has been thinking about this party for a couple weeks. She's

how many people are allowed to invite at dinner, and then you're allowed to

invite this many later. You can only have penises, no vagina.

Like, there's a whole rule with Ramona.

I'm going to go in the pool.

That's actually a nice picture with your head down.

Just put your arms out like this. Very casual.

There they go.

Now Ramona's in the noodle. Ramona, get the noodle out of my picture. It's like

a cargo ship going by.

You're ruining her photo.

USS Ramona.

USS Ramona.

Literally the USS Ramona. The USS Ramona with two life wraps going by.

Coming up.

If you don't appreciate and respect yourself a little more... You lost a lot

confidence. I know, but over someone that couldn't handle how special and

awesome you are.

Hi. Can I get you anything?

No, I'm good.

How are you doing today?

I'm good. How are you? Yeah?

Great. So I didn't tell you this.

Uh -oh.

No, it's not an uh -oh. Okay. So it just shows you how things can change.

Mario met me, but that's when he was in the city with the girls. Okay. So I told

him we're down here, and he said, well, I'll come visit. He was going to come

tonight. Oh, my God.

Yeah.

That's over.

Cheers. I'm jealous.

That's a beautiful thing.

Did he ever say, like, just where everything happened?

No, he said he was very sorry. He told me.

Hi.

How are you? Hey, Lou, how are you? It was good.

I said to Bethany, Mario's going to come today to the party. Could you be

friends with benefits?

Wouldn't that be great? I can't do that. Why? That's not Ramona style.

It's, you know, it's hard to put your old slippers back on, you know? Like, he

would never bring a girl here, obviously.

No. But also, maybe I like that I've been out with a few times.

So is that a double standard?

I don't know what that means. Well, Mario's not bringing somebody that he

like, but you have a flirt going on at the same time?

I'm allowed.

I don't even understand.

Like, you're going to make some guy you don't know jealous with a man that you

used to be married to?

But she thinks this is her having game.

This is a good idea.

Guys, we have to get to Wynwood. I could bust out of here at 3 .15. Yeah,

perfect. Let's go.

Thank God the ladies agreed to leave this house for one day and take in a

culture in Miami.

Okay, let's go. They kind of look like a fiesta because you're tackled up. Yeah.

So we're going to go see Wynwood Walls, which is an artist enclave filled with

fabulous studios and murals and artists from all over the world.

Awesome. I'm so glad we're doing this.

I know. Me too. Ben, you've never been to Wynwood? No.

That's great.

I kind of want to, like, not go crazy tonight. Just enjoy the party.

Yeah. Are there some guys coming?

Yes, and I'm going to, my goal is to, like, to facilitate you meeting men.

is my goal. Okay, thank you.

Maybe, we'll see. Just enjoy yourself. No, I know, but there's going to be a

of men there. Good, good, good. You never know.

My sister's going to be there, too.

Daphne? Daph, Daphne.

Daph, Daphne.

I think we're here now, Wynwood Walls. This place, there used to be nothing

here. Look at the artists doing painting.

This is amazing. Isn't it cool?

So I'm actually hopping out to go to the one hotel to visit some friends of

mine. When? Now?

Yeah, about five minutes.

I'm just going to blow this off. I just need to chill out because Mario is

coming. The one is the other way, though, by the way. As much as I love

out with all these ladies, they're going to be walking around for two hours

solid. And we're having a big party tonight. And then I have a date and

coming. So I've got to figure out how I'm going to deal with that. How do I

both men?

Ramona's going to go see some friends at the one.

Sonia, if you want to come, come to the meeting now. I'm going to do the

cultural event. Only Ramona. And she doesn't even get out to look at this.

doesn't even get out to look at this. Why is she coming at all?

Where is she going?

She's got to run to pick up more guys.

She's running a volume business.

She's also spent time with us.

See ya!

I was like... I mean,

this is barely a goodbye.

So let's go and see Peter.

We're going in.

Peter's in here.

This is Peter's honey?

Oh, this is the great store. Yeah.

Peter. It's so fun.

Oh, my God. Oh, I've been in here. I didn't know this was here.

Wow, this looks incredible since the last time I was here.

You like what I've done with the place? Oh, my God.

Well, you know I love chandeliers. How are you?

I've known Peter Tunney for years. He's a New York -based artist who's now moved

to Florida, and he's basically blown up Wynwood Wall, so it's going to be fun.

So this looks great.

I love all this. How ironic.

Don't stop ever. It's a stop sign. I'm freaking out. I saw that. That is a

piece.

that adorned the stairwell when I lived in the nightclub, the Crowbar, for one

year. I used to go to Crowbar. I remember that. I remember that. Do you

I lived there? I remember that. I have to have it. You have to have it. So

what's that going to hit me?

That's a one -of -a -kind original piece from my private collection.

You can have that for $10 with the frame, too. Okay, done. Delivered. Done.

Tans, I'm going to show you something. Oh, another one.

This is called Warhol Soup, but in the context of you.

The chicest little clutch ever.

That's so true. I'm giving it to you. Oh, I'm sorry. That's amazing. Carry it

with you for Art Basel. Put your gear in there.

Thank you. That's so cute. Thank you. You're lucky.

That's amazing.

I mean, I guess I still got it.

This is yours.

The Tempest Fugit record.

That's so cute.

This is yours. You ready?

Yeah. You get the Barbra Streisand, A Star is Born, Double Tempest Fugit. This

one is for you.

Yeah, you get some. Thank you. You know, that's... What?

No,

I didn't.

I think he forgot.

I'm like, what?

Everybody gets a present from me. I love my thing.

I didn't forget you, Luann. Oh, thank you, babe. You're welcome.

So sweet. Awesome. Thank you for bringing us here.

Do you know that he sold that for $6 ,000? He sold that for $6 ,000.

This is $5 ,000.

Is that really $5 ,000?

Is that $5 ,000? $5 ,000.

Yes.

Wow. She's the it girl, Tinsley. She got a $5 ,000 gift. You got to love it. I

spent $10 ,000. She gets $5 ,000.

Something's wrong with this picture.

Right? And you didn't get a present. You know what? I have a daughter. That's my

present. She doesn't.

Now, this is all about love, which we all need.

Hi.

We're here.

Oh, my God. Good to see you.

Nice to see you. How are you doing, my friends?

Romero Brito is the same as his art. He's joy and love and fun, and it's just

happy. This, I love this. I do a lot of portraits of lots of women.

What, that one?

Yeah. Thank you.

Wow. This is cool.

Bethany has a gift for all of you here.

We have a gift. What?

Can we get gifts, ladies?

Here we go, the hearts.

Thank you. I love you. I'm so glad I brought them here. I told Romero that I

wanted to give the girls a gift.

Are you freaking out?

I thought it would just be something special. It will remind everyone of this

experience and this trip.

This matches your dress.

I feel like we're not disgusting, vile, vapid, alcoholic arguers when we do

things like this.

There was somebody missing here. Who is missing here?

They didn't get lost?

Oh, Ramona. She got lost? That's why she doesn't get a gift, because she didn't

come. She picked the bigger, better deal. I can't believe Ramona's not here.

Knucklehead!

Ramona was a jackass.

To come to go to another bar and another pool and not get two pieces of signed

art. I mean, I've racked it up. Thank you.

Coming up...

Oh, Ramona has a date coming to you.

She told him you were going to be here, though, so there's going to be no funny

stuff.

Oh, my God. This is going to be such a fun night. I can't wait. I feel like I'm

going to my prom or something tonight.

No, I don't know why I'm saying that, but I do feel like that.

That ship sails. I love entertaining.

Everyone knows that. And I know it's going to be a great party. I planned the

menu with the chef.

I invited a lot of the people. I'm psyched.

So you haven't met Kevin, right?

He's six foot four.

Really nice looking.

And he's not too loud, which I like. He's very elegant, classy. He has this

called Blackwell. So I told him to come, told him to bring his rum.

He's smart.

He's been married before.

He has an older daughter.

Wow, you really like this one.

You know his name. You know about his family.

I said, oh, Kevin, by the way, I just want you to know my ex -husband will be

here tonight.

Why did you do that?

He goes, don't worry. I'll be nice to him.

I invited Kevin because I wanted, like, a buffer because I didn't want Mario to

feel like I had to be with him all the time. If I had, like, my date or

you want to call it, it'd be just, I don't know, different.

Let's make a deal.

We have the best time at the party, but that you do not keep me awake late at

night. Okay.

Barbara? Hi.

Hi. Oh, wow. Look at you.

Wow. Look at you.

Look at that. That's a hot dress.

Thank you. Very nice. You said five guys were coming. So we have Rose.

Rose. Right,

right, right.

Okay. Perfect.

Right? Okay, good.

Hey, Mario.

Hey, how are you?

Hi. Hey. I'm Mona.

Hey, Mario.

How are you? These are the bartenders of the night. We're just discussing

things. Nice to see you. You too.

You look lovely. I do. Well, thank you. Vision in white.

Thank you. You look nice. A little touch of yellow here.

Okay. I always like this button buttoned up, but you don't have to do that.

I can't help it. Mario and I have always had chemistry, and we always will.

Whoa!

Would you like some champagne, y 'all?

Gee, what do you have in mind?

Oh, my gosh.

Will you allow me to look at these pecs?

Squeeze a little in there.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you, honey, for listening to me. Okay, I'll send you my bill for you.

This is why I was married to him for over 20 years.

Michael! Hey, Jacqueline, how are you? Welcome.

Great seeing you. You too.

Hey, Michael.

So I love tons of ice, so I'd like more ice, please.

George, just so you know. This is what I want to have all night, until the rum

comes. Since when do you drink rum?

Do you think we should dim the lights a little? Is it a little too bright?

So that's good.

You look beautiful.

Yeah, here they come.

Speaking of. Welcome, girls.

Hi. Uh -oh.

Hey, darling. How are you? Hi.

You look lovely.

Nice to see you. Hi, Calvin. Lovely.

I know Michael from New York.

Okay. Lois, we were friends like way before Mario.

Way before me? Was there anything way before me?

You know what, Mario? There was nothing.

All right, I'll have another club soda, please.

Lots of soda and a little Tito.

Just a splash.

Tonight I'm definitely going to watch how much I drink because after last

I don't want to go overboard again. I mean, it's just like ridiculous.

Have you ever seen Ramona flirt?

What's the matter?

It's going up my butt. What's going up your butt?

The dress. The slip. Is that sexy?

I don't remember reading where that was sexy.

I need to pull it down.

I just have to make sure it stays down. I think I missed a whole chapter in

sexiness for women.

I can see the whole hole.

I'm Ramona. I'm Dan.

Pardon? Danny O.

Danny O?

Denny O. And your first name again?

Max. So you live here full time?

So what's going on since I saw you last? She's so much fun these days. I've been

having a good time with Ramona.

Oh, so what months are you in New York?

May through September.

Oh, the best months.

She could let the guys relax and ease into the party a little bit.

I don't know if Ramona's having Mario there to play with him like a cat with a

ball of yarn, but I'm just going to sit back and watch because I do enjoy

watching Ramona in action. You're looking very snazzy.

I like your sneakers, your skinny jeans. What do you think, Ramona?

Oh, Ramona has a date coming today.

She told him you were going to be here, though, so there's going to be no funny

stuff.

Coming up, this is the expensive one.

Eel. I don't like eel. You like eel?

Wow.

That went down very fast.

Who's the guy?

Oh, he's very cute.

Oh, I bet.

But he knows you're here.

I told him.

Well,

he knows about Mario. This way, nobody will be awkward.

Maybe a little part of me, a little part of me wanted to make him jealous.

Are you going to point him out to me when he comes in? Oh, yeah, I'll tell

right away. I bet you will.

And it feels good that he looks jealous.

Hey, there she is.

Regardless of the fact that these women are filling the house with like half the

bachelors in Miami, I'm just really excited to see my sister tonight.

You have lashes in common, the two of you.

Lashes? Yes, we were born with them.

Totally. We were totally born with them. All I know about Ramona and Mario is

how she said every year they go to Positano.

Not Positano? She said Positano? Yes.

It is so humid out.

It is. Do you want to have a cocktail with us?

I'm going to have a cocktail with you.

I'm going to have a Diet Coke cocktail right now.

For the moment, we start slow.

Oh, I forgot about that.

I still have a good time. I know.

I've been busy getting married, divorced.

Danielle is just a really good friend, good flirt. My plan is not to have a

repeat of last night and have some fun at this party and hang out with my

friends. Looking hot, Lou.

Sit down.

I was protecting him from lights. I know, I know, I know.

She's ready for this, I'll tell you.

She's ready for some.

She seems very happy and comfortable.

And just so you know, Sonia, she makes up all this shit all the time. Well,

was pretty interesting.

I can't wait to meet the guy.

Are you the guy? Are you the guy? Wait a minute. Are you the guy? You must be

the guy.

Oh, my God.

I'm the guy. You're the guy.

Whatever. So, let's see.

This is the expensive one. Eel.

I don't like eel. You like eel?

Wow.

That's a lot of eel.

Wow.

That went down very fast.

Wow. That was like a fish going after a big, long worm on a hook.

I always said Sonia's a professional.

How are you? Nice to see you, Sonia.

I just deep -throated sushi. She did.

I have your boots. Do you?

These Gucci. When I bought them, I was like, I can only wear them in Miami. So

was like, that's amazing.

So did you come from Palm Beach?

From Palm Beach, yeah. Not that far. And what do you do in Palm Beach?

Oh, I'm just at the moment not working out.

I'm 90.

Oh, let's take a picture.

I'm sucking in my stomach. That's for damn sure.

Got it? Yeah.

Ramona, this is my Gucci. I know, right?

How are you? Good to see you. You're not lovers. You're friends. I don't know. I

don't know this stuff. No, she's married. She has two kids. Oh, and

fluid, but not with this one. Okay.

Hey!

Sorry, this is Mike. This is Kevin.

But you're just friends.

Hi, Kevin.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. She's so little next to you.

Not that little.

You're tiny.

Do you think I'm tiny?

No. You're bigger than life. How's that?

How's it going?

Good. Playing tennis, took up golf.

Really? You living the good life? Do a little paddle surfing.

You guys are like all friends and like consciously uncoupled now? See, it could

happen. Something to shoot for.

This Mario Ramona dynamic is so modern.

I am jealous.

I love it for Avery. I love it for them. I just, I love it.

No, let's just sit here. Show me the house.

Show me the outside.

Oh, my God.

Ramona is out there with the guys. Oh, let's go spy.

I spy.

I spy.

I want to see that, too, actually.

Is your ex -husband actually here?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which one is he? I mean, I don't want to... Oh, I thought

met him.

I don't know.

The gentleman in the yellow shirt?

You guys have been split up for a while.

Four years.

He had a midlife crisis.

Look, she's flirting.

It's cute.

So cute, so fun. Just like, ugh.

What's wrong?

Why are you a place that came like Scott?

Don't go there.

I am.

Patience, come on. But you're doing well. For some reason, being in Miami

me really sad.

Patience, he didn't make you the happiest you were. He was a burden. He

weight on your shoulders. Patience, if you don't appreciate and respect

a little more, you have lost a lot of confidence. I know, but over someone

couldn't handle how special and awesome you are.

The Mercer girls are a lot to handle. I know.

crazy. No, we're just real and we're honest and that's okay.

Dabney and I are two years apart and even though she's my little sister, she

will give me a lot of tough love and she wants the best for me and so I know

that what she's saying is from her heart and she really is way wiser than I am

so I do listen to her.

This house is awesome, so why don't you invite some Jews over tomorrow and meet

your next victim.

They are victims, right? Always.

Coming up.

Romero Gritto gave us $20 ,000 pieces and signed them for us. I'm so upset.

Who's this one? He's new.

Tony Kennedy. Hi, Tony. Zoom right in on that one. You want me to sit over

there? Yes, I think you should.

Okay.

Come on, Lou.

What? I've been working this, massaging this for an hour. It's a cabaret. And

you're still over there? How did that happen? The eagle has landed. What is

name? Tony.

Hi. What are you doing? We were just playing with the makeup.

There's a guy here, so come downstairs.

He's a good -looking guy. He's successful. He lives here. Just come

Take a shot.

He's good -looking. For real. Oh, my God. So cute.

Let's go. Perfect timing. Let's go.

I'm just crying, but okay. Great.

Tinsley just wants to really meet someone. She wants to meet a successful,

-looking, wealthy guy.

And I know one.

Do you know Tinsley?

Hi, Tinsley. Hi, Tinsley. How do you do?

Hi, hi. I was set up on a date with Brett, and I liked him.

He was very, very nice. He's fun.

And even if it's a temporary distraction from Scott, that would be a win. I

don't know. Now I feel awful. Okay, just relax.

It's going to take a little while.

Coconut is single and cute and fun. You never know. So the door is open.

Hang on.

He's into it. He's into it. So just hang on.

You're like a little girl.

I am a loser.

Okay, I'm going to go.

I'm going to... Okay.

All right, come with me. I'm going to... We're going to...

We're going to go get a drink.

Could you have watched that before?

The good thing is you look cute.

What is happening to me?

I didn't know you were being set up. Way more game than that.

Well, let's see it.

I can't sit there and chat.

And what do you do?

Where are you from?

Is that what a girl looks like?

to do that right now.

Hi, everyone. Food is ready. We have three entrees, some kind of bath,

and filet mignon.

Perfect.

Hi, everybody.

Hello. Hi, hi, hi. I'm so sorry to interrupt you, but it's time sensitive.

have to corral the troops. We're doing it to make a toast. So Dorinda's doing

the toast? Yes, I'm trying to let everyone know to get near here. For some

reason, Ramona takes some joy in acting like this is her actual house and this

is her actual party.

So we are messing around with Ramona.

I'm the coach and you're the quarterback. The second everyone hits

you're up or I'm going up. She's going to freak out. One of Ramona's tits will

pop out.

Okay, everyone.

Everyone.

Yes, I'm going to make a toast.

Wait, don't eat. Make a toast.

So, we want to thank everybody for coming tonight. It is a beautiful house.

Gorgeous hemp. We're so happy to be here. I also want to thank Luann for

bringing us to Peter Tannis today. He was literally taking art off the wall

giving it to us. It was so nice.

Followed by Romero Bredo. Romero Bredo.

She literally arranged to have sculptures made for us.

These hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of art he's handing to us. So I

missed getting a piece of art? Two.

I know.

If you're going to play bigger, better deal, you're going to miss out on some

special treasures.

You flooze, you'll lose.

I need to chill out. I was like trying to organize all this. I like everything

nice. You were at the hotel with guys.

I was relaxing.

With guys. I hope it was worth all that. No, we got some amazing art.

Well, whatever.

I'm surprised that they didn't bring me a piece of art back.

Hey, when I was at the Clambake and Dorinda wasn't there, I brought her back

lobsters. She stays for half an hour and then she tries to take a lobster with

her.

Where's Mario?

Did he leave?

No, I think I just see him falling over here.

Hi. Hi, Ramona.

How are you?

Mario, this is Peter. Kevin, this is Mario.

Hi, Kevin.

You know, Mario and I are in a good place, but, you know, maybe I want to

him a little taste of his medicine.

So I got a call from Avery. Yeah, how's Avery?

She's good.

Whoa. You know, they keep coughing. Go ahead. Well, you know what? I don't know

what's going on.

No, the waiters keep slipping down.

Oh.

I feel sorry for Mario. He seems awkward.

I don't know if he's jealous or horrified.

So she said something about dinner on Monday. Yeah, yeah, Chef's Club.

Hi, you going to Chef's Club?

I'm going to Chef's Club.

Ramona on a roll over here, made out with Harry.

Shut up! Harry? You got your wife's lips. Harry's back in the picture?

Can you shut your mouth?

I don't know where she's coming from. I'm actually having a good time now.

true.

The voice of reason. It's true. You're not married.

Why does it matter?

Are you jealous?

No. I don't want Harry, but he does love me.

What is Sonya thinking? Or should I say she's not thinking that dumb blonde?

Seriously? Poor Sonya. Everyone cross -pollinates. Everyone cross -pollinates.

They cross -pollinate with Tom.

Now we're cross -pollinating with Harry.

Should we cross -pollinate? No, nobody, no. Boy, you said that very quickly,

Mario. I don't do, I don't.

insulted no no not just you not just you not a loser next

time on the real housewives of new york city you never stood up for her she's

actually what you ever stood up for her oh wow who the do you think you are

you're insufferable i'm somebody who likes to be on stage that's for sure so

you want to call me a diva then i'm a diva you're being self -absorbed I feel

very alone, and I feel, like, really overwhelmed.

Anybody want to go for a swim in the beach?

You never change.

You're judging me. I'm not judging you, Sonia. I'm not judging you. I'm trying

to open your eyes. Because you dined out on your sobriety. Are you dining out on

my sobriety? Yes, you are. Are you dining? How dare you?

Cabaret, cabaret, cabaret all day. Life is not a cabaret. Are we bullies now?

Control freak bully? That's true.

You're sicko!

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