Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New York City.

You undervalue yourself. He should be chasing you. She's not going to give it

much more time. What?

I'm sorry for the behavior I exhibited.

Thank you for doing that.

I think you should give her Bethany's room. No. So she comes tomorrow and she

takes the nicest room in the house and I get the gack room. So last night, you

know, I want to stay in Bethany's room. About me?

Hello, Mrs. Morgan. Meet Mrs. Morgan.

All the Morgan family writes each other. A hundred dollars.

Yeah, we're not supposed to.

I'm just lifting it with my nail.

You're trying to fuck my girlfriend's up.

Why? Because it's not happening.

All day, all day, all day, all day. During the quarter, Paul's all over

letters. You go in that house, you don't touch those fucking letters.

I plead guilty to being fabulous.

The only thing I'll settle for.

is more.

People call me over the top, but lately, I prefer being a bottom.

Game set.

Now, I need a match.

When life gives me limes, I make margaritas.

If you got a problem with me, it's your problem.

All right, it's okay.

She didn't mean to do anything to desecrate or upset you. Oh, my God, it

awful. What are you talking about, Amy? It was awful.

In her home for 16 years, she knows it's getting all dented up. And then during

his, like, letters from the Morgans with her nails, like, go through the

letters. She meant no disrespect.

I didn't, like, don't touch them. She meant no, baby, baby, she meant no

disrespect. I don't know what's going on, but do we need, like, an exorcism?

Sonia is possessed.

Come on, get up, get up, get up, get up.

It's true. Get up, get up.

It wasn't Dorinda's fault, but I got so upset.

You weren't there. I know. It doesn't matter. Everything is not a 10.

Don't worry about it. With Sonia, it wasn't about the letters. I just think

stirred up a lot of memories of her ex -husband and what she had with him and

what they had together.

And there's a loss for her there. So I'm really not surprised with how she's

acting right now. You were right. I was right.

I called her.

Dorinda. Yes.

She's losing it again.

She's going into this whole Morgan thing. I'm telling you.

We got to get her out of here. She had a breakdown today. Listen to me.

Everyone's picking every battle. Everyone's upset about every single

Everyone needs to calm down.

Wow. I mean, is that a lot or is it just me? I mean, I think I'm... Hold on,

hold on. You don't know.

No, this. No, I mean, it's a lot. No, wait. Just give us a timeout. We were

talking about something. You can just listen. No, but it's scary. No, it's not

scary. It's not. It's emotional.

Just take...

Great. I know. All right, so you want to knock her out or just want to relax?

Dinks, it is this, it is that.

Take pictures. How are we doing in here? No, she's upset about it. Oh, you have

no idea.

Sonya had a breakdown. You missed everything.

Sonya had a breakdown. Yeah. She's having a little meltdown, and I was

console her, and then Bethany wasn't really there, doesn't really know what

happened. She decided to take her from the table and console her away from the

table, which is fine. It's all good. Listen to me. This is the wine. This is

wine talking. You think I have to protect myself and not lose my...

is what you're saying.

Well, that ship has already sailed. All you got to do is eat some food.

I just want to have fun. And have a drink. Let's just have fun. Let's just

fun. Let's just have fun. Okay, we're going to have fun. No, I touched it with

my thinking. I don't think they were even original letters.

That's what I'm saying. They weren't original letters. They weren't even

letters. I should just tell her that. They didn't look real. I should just

her that.

It's all good. Your energy is so good.

We're all good. Hey, Sonia. We're all good. Just so you know, those letters

not real letters. They just made them up.

Okay, is it over? It's all over. It's over.

B's right.

Fakes and letters.

And take some pressure off myself.

The best way to handle Sonia is to give her a muzzle.

She has to be zapped.

She has to be, like, snap out of it. Yeah, but I think we're past that now.

We've got to get on to something else.

Oh, yum. Oh, this is the ravioli.

Oh, my God!

Ramona. I just started changing my PJs.

What the are you wearing?

I don't know.

I know. The earrings, the high heels. I mean, I can't.

What is going on here?

Ramona, there's no men showing up.

And the Naked Chef?

He plays for the other team.

Get loose.

Ramona, what do you have on under there?

Did she show?

Yes. What is it? Her ass. What do you mean, what?

Raw ass.

Put some pants on, girl. I got a cheese string, baby. Everything's a chaotic

mess right now.

Sonia just lost her.

And Ramona shows up in a negligee.

That's totally normal.

Welcome to the Berkshire.

So, where's Coco?

She's in the kitchen and one of the helpers, they're being very kind to hold

Coco. Helpers? Yeah. I don't know. We would call them the waitstaff. I say

helpers. They help us. No, you nailed it. They help us. They help us live a

better life. No, you nailed it. So we're the helpers. They help us live a better

life. No, you nailed it, babe. You can't live a better life. Look at her.

Minus like some major flaws. I'm coming back and my next life is Ramona. I don't

know. I just want to evolve to the place where I wear a...

silk handkerchief, and some heels for dinner. That's her dinner outfit.

What does your after dinner look?

Okay, Limacello.

We did it. Stand up, stand up. What a great dinner. Thank you, Dorinda. I

usually head upstairs after dinner and don't really participate.

Yeah.

But I'm feeling this group. I could really use a good laugh. Dancing and

laughing. That's what I really need.

It's chaos.

You know, there's scissoring going on. There's casting out going on. Yes.

Dancing. It's a party.

We should show people what sober looks like. That's what sober looks like. Oh,

my God.

Sonia's farting. Sonia's farting.

That's what sober looks like. The berserk sure looks a lot crazier when

don't drink.

It's just like a vibration if you go like that.

I'm going to bed because I'm scared. I'm out. I'm downright scared.

This is one of these nights where we need to let loose. It needed to happen.

This group can come together. We are resilient.

I could have told somebody to go themselves, and then we could be dancing

minutes later.

We are thick, tough -skinned bitches.

This is an epic episode.

You come near her room tonight, I'm going to punch your face out.

I'm sure it was a great moment.

Last night was a good night. Listen, I've heard the rumors for many, many

about Barbara. I think Bethany can be very naive when it comes to these

wandering women's eyes and arms.

I mean, you tried to get in there, too.

Well, when I want to kiss Bethany, it's a different thing.

I'm coming from a place of love and admiration.

I'm not trying to get in her pants.

I think Barbara was overwhelmed.

I think she's like, what's going on here? I'm like, oh, no, this is what

here.

I'm watching the sun rise. Please, sun, rise, rise.

Because I knew my bag that never got unpacked, I was zipping that bitch up,

we were out of here.

Bye, girls.

I just had cheese.

Thank you so much. I had so much fun, and your house is... Come back.

Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.

Come back.

I have to kiss this. I'm coming back tomorrow morning. Oh, you are? I'll see

then. Thanks so much, my love. You're welcome. I had a great time. I'm so

you came. Me too.

I accomplished what I needed to do, and that was to reestablish a connection

with Lou and keep Barbara out of it. You're the best. I'm going to sit in the

back with you. Really? Are you all good?

Yeah. Thank you so much.

Okay. Make a nice walk. Yes.

Get our blood moving. Like, good walk. How? Yep.

Yeah, it's a thousand degrees. This was dumb.

It's okay.

All right, so you're going to freak out when I show you something.

Yesterday, I was in Boston in a hotel, and I was getting on the elevator, and

you know how there's that little pad that has the pen next to the telephone

console by the elevator at a fancy hotel?

Yeah. On my daughter's life.

This is on that pad.

I don't get it. I swear to God, Joanne, I feel like I'm making it all up. You

look spectacular.

You're amazing as always.

Did he write like this? Tell me he wrote like this.

He always said, yeah. He said you look spectacular.

And I looked good yesterday.

I don't remember.

That's weird. That's weird.

Wow, you look spectacular.

You're amazing as always. D?

Look, do you even see it's hotel paper? Am I making this up? No.

Dorinda's experienced the death. I think she believes in signs.

She goes to see mediums and she's open to this alternative approach.

And I am not.

And I'm finding that there are many.

signs that are unavoidable. I believe in this. This is a lot of effort for him

to get these things to you. I know. He's not here. He's in another world.

I believe in this stuff. He's here. I mean, he's trying to send me a message.

I mean, how can these not be signs? Of course, part of it is you're looking and

you're going to read into him a bit. But some of the signs are just so

undeniably real. He just wants you to be happy. He wants you to move forward.

That's going to make Dennis happy. Okay, we're doing it.

Coming up.

Do you know who was hurt? Who? It was Bethany, that you were saying, she's not

the queen, I should have her room. Then let her be upset, I don't give a shit.

After I do the business meeting, I'm going to go get Brynn, and I want to

just a night, movie night, with the dogs and her, and like, just relax.

She's only into peanut butter and jelly right now.

No,

I don't want to do a play date today. I want to do like a love art date. We'll

make cupcakes.

Just snuggle with mommy date today. I want to snuggle. We both need to

And I want to find the notes from the flowers.

When he would send the flowers and I kept the little cards.

You miss him?

Yeah.

I'm seeing someone in Boston, and it's evolving. It's definitely moving

But of all the people that you could lose, Dennis is one of the hardest

he's so ever -present.

There are just certain people that you quote all the time, that you remember

the time, and I can't get them out of my head.

Please say there's a card from Dennis. Come on.

It is.

I remember that.

It's a puzzle piece. You complete me.

And this is the pictures of me. This is me and Dennis.

Look how he looked at me.

Look at him cookie.

That's the night we got engaged?

That literally is the night. That's the night we got engaged because I wore that

sweater and my moves were like itchy.

And those are the earrings he got me. That's why I wore them that night.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't think, I thought I was like sort of almost ready.

I'm really tired of this. This is not the life that I want. But it's really

to break away from him.

It's harder than you think.

I don't know what to say. I really don't. That was a lot.

But I don't have any, I'm not, the guy who sent me the flowers yesterday, now

I'm going to keep that card. You never know.

I did.

You did? You put it there? I don't know. I said to myself, I'm keeping this.

Okay. You kept it? Yeah.

Your mommy's going to get a blowout.

And you can watch, because I don't like leaving you alone, because you're

getting old. My time with you is precious.

Let's do it. You ready?

Come on.

Hello.

Hey. How are you? How are you?

Hi.

Good to see you. How are you? I think Sonia's going to be too, right? Okay. I

brought Coco, because she only has like a year left to live. I know it sounds

bad. But I want to keep her around, you know? Poor Coco. Look at her. I know.

She's got feelings. Poor Coco. Don't listen to your mommy. What are you

the dog a death wish?

Granted, he's old. But, you know, why wish it sooner?

But, you know, I feel sad now because Avery's not home. And then I'm gone like

half the morning. So I said, you know what?

The salons, I knew you wouldn't mind that I brought her. Right.

Dogs are welcome.

Let me sit you guys down. Let me show you the menu.

And I'm going to do the beach wave because I feel like being beachy. Not

beachy. Beachy bitch.

Well, wait. I think we all had fun in the Berkshires, but you were really

at the dining table at the dinner. You're like, I'm staying at the hotel.

Why don't you go sort things?

You've got some nerve putting me in the fish room.

No, because I'm super sensitive these days and I'm in touch with my emotions.

You know what I mean? I never saw you. I know. I was so upset to get my own

room. I know. Well, you know why? Because I was pissed off. And so guess

made a scene and the squeaky wheel gets the green, right? That's true. I got the

room I wanted. Well, I'm seriously glad you didn't check into the hotel.

I'm seriously glad you did. Well, no, me too, because it turned out to be a

good... Time for Dorinda and I to spend together.

Well, of course. She adores you. Dorinda's like a sister to me in so many

We were kind of raised the same way with Catholic parents and grew up in the

country. And it just feels really nice to be back as friends and not be, you

know, in this drama that went on for so long.

Coco, you're in the wrong room. Oh, there she is.

Hi. So, I like this concept.

You just get a quick buff and a buff and a buff. I'm going to wash your hair,

too. I'm going to wash mine. Hi, America. Hi, how are you?

I know you.

You're Jackie's daughter.

Take this.

Oh, my God. I'm not drinking wine. No.

After this weekend, she was in the theater on Saturday night. I was flat

displayed all over Bethany's IG story. Do you remember the whole thing? Oh,

yeah. I remember. Do you remember talking to Barbara at the table? You're

shark room, and no one is joining you in the shark room. Cuckoo. And truth is

that. Cuckoo. You're a cuckoo. By the way, try to go in Luann's room and see

what happens.

I apologize for saying that, but I was going to punch your lights out.

But I'm not the only one that stepped on someone's toes, Lou, because you know

who was hurt?

Who? It was Bethany.

About what?

She was hurt that you were saying, why is Bethany's room being held?

She's not the queen. I should have her room. When she got together with Dorinda

and Tinsley, they told her.

And I was like, oh, my God. You know, I could see that Bethany was visibly.

Shook up. She was hurt. She was like, what? Really?

It's more about the room. It's more about Dorinda, not about me.

I didn't want to be in that room. You didn't want to be in that room. If

Bethany's upset because I said you should have given me that room, then let

be upset. I don't give a shit.

I cannot believe she's rolling her eyes after everything Bethany did to help her

during the summer when she was basically on her flat ass or she was on her flat

drunk ass.

Wow. Not cool, Luann. Not cool.

She just did all these great things for you. So what?

What's that got to do with the room?

She just got to a lawyer.

A lawyer?

Yes, the lawyer.

Oh, yes, she did get me a lawyer. Okay, so the intervention, right?

You remember?

Yes, of course I remember. Okay. And I appreciate all she's done for me. The

least she could do is kick me in that goddamn room.

If Lou wants to stay in that room, let Lou stay in it. No, Bethany comes a day

late. She goes, I want that room. Let's make Bethany happy. Not new. Let's make

Bethany happen. Let's make Bethany happen. Bethany, Bethany, Bethany.

With Bethany, I never know where I stand with her. One day she's saving my life,

and the other day she's bashing me over the head with a baseball bat.

So if Bethany's going to take it personally, bring it on, girlfriend.

Coming up, being around you is bringing us up with my dad. Because of her

drinking? My dad chose drinking over his family.

Oh, I love this place.

Good choice.

Oh, how pretty. A flower.

Oh, I love the purple.

I wore the right colors today.

So our girlfriend is having a dinner party. Oh, fun.

Oh, did I tell you? Tell me. I'm just really happy she invited me. I think

on a good page. Nice to be included. Nice to be included.

Exactly. So I'm really happy that, you know, Bethany and I are in a good place.

You're on the same page right now. So on that note, I thought maybe getting two

arrangements for her table would be good. Okay. So something like this, like

cylinder maybe a little higher, we could do something like this. Two spots on

her long table would be pretty.

Okay. That's perfect. So we'll get like two of those. What are you wearing

tonight? Oh, I wanted to talk to you.

If Bethany sends you an email and says come and it's sparkly, don't reply all

with a dumb question.

That you could Google.

You go, what is sparkly? You replied everyone.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Stop bugging Bethany. What does sparkly mean? It means pick one of your 1 ,000

dresses that are rhinestone. And then cool it with the flowers. You're

it. As usual.

We got to get ready.

All right, thank you. Thank you for coming in. Oh, we loved it. We love your

store. Don't be beautiful. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. The star behind

the flower brand. Thank you. My daughter loves that. Where's your favorite

place? The Panda something. Where is that? Panda Cotidien. How many blocks up

that? Two blocks up. I can't say anything. Panda Cotidien.

Doesn't matter if you say, as long as you can pay for it. A lot of people can

say it, but they can't buy it.

Can I start you off with any still sparkling or ice water?

Just regular ice water is fine. Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, hi, Sierra. Hi, Sierra. How can you miss her? She's so pretty. Oh, these

shoes are so cute. How can you miss that pretty girl? What? I saw those shoes in

your video.

Oh, my black ones? The black ones. Yeah, yeah. I love these. Yeah, I've been

liking black shoes. Look at you all dolled up. You know, it's my fall look.

don't know. Orange.

This is nice.

Cute. Yeah, sorry it took me so long. I came, you know, from uptown and to cross

town was a nightmare.

I know.

They invent self -driving cars. Why can't they have cars that hover?

Wouldn't that be nice? A little hovercraft? I feel like they're, like,

on those.

I think we're a little off on that, but they're working on it. But I want a car

that hovers.

Can I get you some stills? I'm going to have some hot tea. Do you have decaf tea

of some sort? I have some delicious green tea.

Mm -hmm. I'll do a decaf coffee. You know what? I'll just do a regular

Let's not complicate life.

The hardest thing about sobriety is just not drinking and not picking up every

day. It's not easy.

I take it day by day, and it's a struggle.

Thank you for coming to meet me. Actually, one of the things that I

talk to you about is my dad was an alcoholic, and my dad died

three years ago.

And this is the first time. Three years ago?

Yeah. I thought it was long ago. Recent. Yeah, no, it was pretty recent. That's

very recent.

The alcohol itself didn't kill him. It was, you know, he was drinking a lot,

he ended up falling downstairs and had frontal lobe damage and ended up going

into a coma. Oh, my God.

Wow. And two weeks later, he had to go into hospice and then, you know, died

because there was nothing we could do for him. But I've never been around

somebody that... has had a drinking issue since my father died.

And I recently, from being around you, was bringing up stuff with my dad that

reactions now that I am upset about, like, well, why do we have to walk on

eggshells around this person who has chosen to have her drink and think?

I'm starting to feel, for my dad, I'm angry at him.

I am so angry at him. Angry at him because? For dying over drinking.

When I see somebody else having a drinking problem, I find myself pushing

from it only because when you watch somebody continually choose it and you

it's choosing it over you, in a sense, I just have a different perspective.

I'm going to explain one thing to you. You say, and most people think this,

you choose drinking. And you know what?

That's not the truth.

Drinking is a disease. I've got news for you.

Like, like cancer, like diabetes. I know, but you know, look, it is, it is a

disease and people can't control it, you know, and that's why. But if you're

allergic to a peanut, you don't eat a peanut.

Right. You choose to take. Right. But most people don't look at it as an

allergy. It's not really an allergy. It's really a disease of the mind and

mind does not think correctly. The mind doesn't think like other people. It's

frustrating. And it is just something that I have, you know, suffered through

and my family has. And so.

I just don't have the sympathy that I probably should, but it's hard because

I've just lived it.

I think you have to forgive him, you know? I'm surprised how angry I am. You

know what you're dealing still with is with law.

That's something that's real. You go through phases, and you're stuck in

You know what we should do is Al -Anon.

Yeah. Al -Anon is for people with family members. I had been told about that.

You should do Al -Anon. I'd go with you. Okay.

Al -Anon offers programs of recovery for friends and family of alcoholics. I

think it would be really good for Tinsley to help herself.

I mean, this is what people do. They go to Al -Anon so they can share in

people's experiences so they know that they're not alone.

I'm actually going to host the Big Apple Circus.

You are? Yes, and it's like in a week or two, and so I have to speak a little

bit, like introduce people.

How did you wind up with that gig? I know, I'm so excited. You're in the

now? I get to be in the circus.

I'm finally working with a publicist again, and she's been putting the word

that I'm available to host different events, slash be the ringmaster of the

Apple Circus, so I got the gig.

I'm so excited. So you're the ringleader? I'm the guest ringmaster.

You're the guest ringleader. I'm going to wear a top hat.

you in that outfit is going to be adorable.

I would look ridiculous in ruffles.

Coming up.

Give me a dare or give me a truth. Okay, dare.

Do you think you'll fall in love again?

I'm going to add the vitamin C to the bag. It's going to be like a super mega

dose. It'll help with your immune system, help you fight infection. Give

lot of energy.

Oh, I don't want a lot of energy.

No? No, I don't want energy. Not super energy, but it'll give you a kick. I

want health and wellness. I don't want any energy.

I need the anti -energy. In New York, we all love energy.

No, I have too much energy.

It's a multitasking cluster.

I have to prepare for the dinner party.

I am totally dehydrated, and I happen to need an IV.

I happen to need to get a face on, and I don't want to be late.

Welcome to my life today.

I can't believe my ex -boyfriend is here.

What? Yeah.

You ready to rock and roll?

Proving.

You know, he hired his guys, but I didn't know he was going to come. And I

in and I just had a facial and my face looks crazy.

It's like not the day that you want to see an ex.

Russ is someone who I dated seriously last summer.

And he has a staffing company.

Every time I've hired his staff, he doesn't come.

And the day that he comes over, my face is a pizza that I'm trying to cover up

with extra cheese. With an IV in your arm, like a f***ing diva.

Why wouldn't that happen?

You want to know why it ended abruptly?

Because I... We were like... We were like in love, madly in love last summer.

But Dennis came in hot, like freaking out. I want to marry you. Please come to

the Bahamas. I'm in love with you. And so I just...

phased out. I just disappeared.

It was a disaster. It's an awkward situation.

Is he still in there?

He's still out there somewhere.

Excuse me, B.

Yep. I have to go to my other event in about 15 minutes.

All right. Give me five minutes, okay? No problem.

All right.

That was him?

Yes.

Everyone calm down. Nobody can.

I did not expect him to be that fine.

Okay. Wonderful.

Thank you so much.

Ross, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Hi. How are you? I'm good.

Good to see you. You too. These are your boys?

This one here. That's your boy. Biggie, that's my boy.

Well, enjoy your dinner.

It was really good to see you. Don't scare my guys.

They could get scared.

And they could get laid.

But they might not want to. Let me tell you, fellas.

We're in for a bumpy ride.

My skin isn't going to be the only bumpy thing tonight.

All right, let's have a party, everybody.

Join us for a second.

Ta -da.

Hi.

How are you?

You look fabulous.

Thank you.

What would you like to drink?

I'll have a glass of wine.

Do you want Chardonnay or Pinot Grigio? I'll have whatever. Then one more. I

like that you've been here because I'm not really in the mood to do the tour.

This is my first official party.

I haven't really had a formal dinner party at my apartment. I love it here. I

want to entertain.

I am so proud of this home. I feel that it's beautiful but also homey. And I

want to use it.

Hi. Oh, gray floors. I love gray floors.

Holy moly, you look...

Awesome. Thank you. Welcome.

Doesn't she?

It's your party.

Thank you. I would love a drink.

Okay, what would you like? All right, good. What would you like? Actually, my

new thing is, if I can, vodka. I know, she's in. Vodka in a really large wine

glass with lots of ice and palatine or club soda. All right, so I'm going to

make an announcement. Okay, vodka.

These gentlemen are alcohol professionals.

The world is Ramona's servant. Not to make it crazy, do you have a straw?

Because I hate getting lipstick marks on my glass. I have a straw. Lainey?

Yeah, that's good.

Give her a crazy straw.

Give her a straw. I got the metal one. That's a good one. Okay, she's got the

metal straw. Can I take it with me? No. That's what I'm worried about, but no. I

asked. I asked.

No. I won't take it. I asked.

Oh, my God.

Why would I have you take it with me?

Because it's a great thing to keep. I like touching it. You shove it up your

vagina. Do whatever you want. No, I'm not doing that.

Hi. Hi.

I've heard sparkles. I've heard sparkles.

Yay. You look amazing. You guys look amazing. Thank you.

Really?

Okay. I want to get mugged.

Hello.

I'm really sparkling.

I'm so excited.

I like it. I know one thing about this party.

Bethany always has the best food. And I know I love good food.

And then the caviar. You can use that later.

I got a beautiful bunch of flowers from Luann with a beautiful note saying thank

you for the weekend. I'm so happy we've made up. Oh, my gosh.

Hallelujah. I got, like, I'm getting goosebumps.

Is she coming in? Me, too. Yeah, I think she's delayed on this.

Oh,

goosebumps. When your hair stands up.

I was really excited.

Hi.

Hi. How are you? I love that shirt. That's awesome.

Thank you. You look gorgeous.

Did you have a cup of champagne?

Thank you. You're welcome. What would you like to drink?

Javier. Yes, you want it. And it's got vodka. I've already had two.

Okay, good. Do you have a vodka, too? Look, it's like a bread spoon. Do you

the fork or do you steal the spoon? No, Ramona asked to steal my straw.

Can you fill it with more ice? More ice and chocolate.

Where's the land? Where is she? I have no idea.

She'll probably come in with a taquita banana headdress on and perform. I have

no idea.

Every day is cabaret with her.

I don't want you to get upset with me. But you're starving.

No, I'm fine. But I need to leave at 8 o 'clock. We're good. You should have a

date. What time? Eight.

Do you?

I've already had two.

Oh, the cabaret has begun.

Let's start the party. What time is it? She's got a very funny name.

Oh, my God. I told you I wasn't around. She's only an hour and 15 minutes late.

No big deal.

Hour and 15 minutes late?

What the?

She's in her own world. We're on cabaret time. When you are a cabaret star.

Time is an alternate reality, and time means something very different.

The countess is here, and the cabaret can now begin.

I came from Uptown, and the traffic is just monstrous. It must be.

Monstrous. Monstrous. How are you? We all came from Uptown. I can't believe

Luann's pulling the traffic card.

Ladies, if you're ready, dinner's ready. Yeah, good timing. I mean, traffic is

one thing. One hour late is another thing.

All right, I'm sitting here. Who's sitting here? Thank you.

Let's make a toast to all being in a pretty good place. Thanks to the

breakthrough in the Berkshires.

And welcome to my home. Cheers. Thank you. And for everybody being so sparkly.

love that.

Gorgeous. I want to make a toast to Barbara surviving my bedroom.

I know that it was very difficult for you to stay there as my guest. Actually,

your sheets and comforter. Yes, made it. The shark didn't. Whoa.

I knew, I knew that a shark wasn't too scary because you've probably woken up

with scarier things than that mounted shark.

Coming up.

Hi, dear. Here we go.

Oh, we... Oh, Steve!

Okay.

Okay.

I

knew,

I knew, I knew that a shark wasn't too scary because you've probably woken up

with scarier things than that mounted shark.

It was lovely.

Thank you.

Just ignore that comment.

I know what Dorinda's doing, and I'm not going to take the bait like that tacky

fish on her wall.

We're going to need to play a game.

Sorry? We need to do a rose or a thorn or a truth or a dare. What's it going to

be? Are we going to do rose and thorn again?

No, we're going to do truth or dare, Ramona.

Oh, Jesus.

All right, truth or dare.

Oh, boy, I don't blame you because you're so unedited.

I hate these games.

And the last time I played truth or dare, It did not go so well. How old

you when you first had anal sex?

Oh, God.

I will tell you.

You had anal sex? I was married, and it was my husband.

There's certainly a better way to happen.

This with this, but not this with this. And I'll tell you this. I cried.

There you go. Give me a dare or give me a truth. I'll take either, but I'll do a

dare. Okay, dare.

Do you think you'll fall in love again?

It's just too complicated.

I had a hard day. I'm just enjoying the ambiance. I mean, you do have the

ambiance.

When I don't want to strangle Ramona with my bare hand, it's so joyful to

with her and at her.

OK, I dare you to kiss Barbara.

I don't know what to do. I dare you to kiss Barbara. I hate these games.

Oh, come on. Here we go again.

I dare you. OK. I dare you. Here we go. Oh,

see?

I really didn't come to this dinner to see Bethany

make out with Barbara, of all people. I mean, on one hand, I'm jealous. On

another hand, I just want to puke. You just took ten years off her life. Look

her. She's beaming.

I'm not sure what she does with Scott. They probably close their eyes and go,

it over yet?

Did we do it? Are we pregnant?

You might be close.

You might be close.

Just because I have manners and I dress a certain way, it does not mean I'm not

like a freak in the sheets over here. She does not know what this girl can do

bed, all right?

Please. All right, truth or dare, we're back to the game. I'll do a dare, but I

don't want to show any body parts.

So do a little, like, do a little phone sex with John right now on the phone.

Just a little bit. That's not a deal.

Let's see if he picks up. No, like, it's not for her. She doesn't do phone sex.

Not really, no. I do. I do things like, I can't wait to see you tonight.

That's not how I roll. I've never been that person.

Hi. You look great tonight.

I really love the way you feel.

Could you say it again like that?

I mean, people would run.

Wait, wait.

She's got him on speakerphone.

Sweetie, I just want to say I miss you so much. I can't wait to spend some time

with you next weekend. And really, we haven't had any sexy time and I really

miss you so much.

So maybe we need to make some carve out some time and spend some really, really

spend some time together.

I mean,

it's just been too long, too long.

Are you feeling okay?

I'm going to send you a big, huge kiss.

And I can't wait to be really close to you.

I love you, baby. Okay, I love you. Okay, that's the best I can do. It's the

first time.

That was good. Okay, okay, okay.

Good job.

Good job.

That was so good. That made me so uncomfortable.

Congratulations.

I can always count on John for sex talk.

Tinsley, phone sex?

No.

That's some kind of deal. She's doing something right, obviously. Exactly,

right? I'd rather get no Chanel bags than get laid.

Okay, first of all, it's not about any of that. I love this man. Stop it. It's

embarrassing.

It seems like truth or dare.

Oh, my God. Truth or dare.

Dare. Dare.

for doing that. Stop, you guys.

You would be mad at me for calling him? I'm not doing it.

My dare was call your boyfriend. I got nothing else, folks.

I'm out.

I just don't understand this reaction.

I didn't ask you to call your boyfriend in my apartment. I just asked you to

call your boyfriend.

I mean, it's ridiculous. Why doesn't Tinsley just smile and dial?

Who are you? Do we know you? I'm having a cigarette after all that, too. Oh, my

God, Tinsley.

When you guys get a boyfriend, you tell me how he would react to this bullshit.

He would kill me.

Do you understand?

He'd kill me.

I'm confused. I have never kissed a woman in my entire life. Dare you think

want to kiss Barbara?

But I was dared.

You can't give up a dare. All right. He would kill me.

Do you understand?

He'd kill me.

I know my boyfriend, and I know that making this call to him, all of a sudden

there are going to be giggles and laughter in the background, and he will

really upset. He does not like to be embarrassed, and I don't want to do that

him. If you owe me money and a bet, you've got to pay it. Am I wrong? Yes.

just said, call your boyfriend.

I'm right here.

But I don't get it. Why are you upset now?

You seem upset.

I'm not upset.

Can I have a little wine? She's uncomfortable.

It doesn't matter. We don't even talk about it. But then why are we all

if we don't talk about it? I don't get it. She doesn't want to be friends.

Maybe that's what it is. No, Barbara, don't say that. Don't be an instigator.

You're always an instigator.

She didn't say she wouldn't want to be friends. You always have to go there.

I'm not an instigator. Stop being a busybody.

Stop being a meditator. Did you not ask me a question? Stop doing this. She just

asked me a question. I said, no, I'm not going to stay out of it. I'm sitting in

the group.

I'm not going to stay out of it.

Make me. Make me. Oh, yeah. Let's get up. Let's go get it. I know you're all

rough and tough. No, I don't use my best. You're all rough and tough. Make

My brain. Go get a hammer, honey. She has a hammer. I'll meet you at Home

I got my brain, okay?

Dorinda just has this vision.

Get Barbara.

Get Barbara.

What did I do to you?

Hello.

She doesn't want to be friends with us. That was provocative. No, that's not

what she said. Sonia's stirring the pot over there.

She's absolutely right. I'm going to clarify what it is. It's not your fault.

Exactly. I'm not saying it's her fault. No, no, no. Stay out of it.

I said, and Tinsley, I apologize because I'm sorry if I struck a chord. I don't

know where the line and the chords are.

It was a dare and a game, and it wasn't that intense. We weren't going to go

blogging. I don't want to call my boyfriend in front of everybody.

Don't bring him in in that way. That's all. That's all I'm saying. No, but

Tinsley, I did not know that was a bad thing to do. I just kissed a woman for

the first time in my entire life. I didn't know you couldn't call your

boyfriend.

If they want to think whatever they want to think right now about it, so be it.

But I know that it's a little delicate and tricky because he gets uncomfortable

with me being in the spotlight and being this person that gets pressed. But I

know that I will be happy with him if I can just...

Make it all fit together like a puzzle. I'm not calling him because I'm not

putting him on blast with girlfriends. I get it. But we have to know where the

line is. You don't tell us anything. Go have this conversation with him. Because

I do it too.

Good. I am trying to make this one work every day.

Well, that must be very hard. Yeah, it's very hard.

It's literally torture.

You can't just be happy when it's his terms.

It doesn't work that way. It does in his life. Well, it's not going to work in

your life.

I am not this, like, bra -burning feminist, but Tinsley sets women back

100 years.

I don't know what to do. I am answering you the best I can. I am telling you the

truth.

She's put a lot of time and effort in. She's been very mature emotionally.

Don't get upset.

Don't get upset.

Gee, we're all going through stuff, each one of us. What are you afraid of? I

don't think fear should be part of a thing called a relationship.

Can I sit next to you?

No, I'm sorry. I really didn't know how offensive it was or what the line is,

and I'm really, really sorry. I really didn't know. I go through it myself.

I did not really understand.

You just don't seem that happy, and you seem like your relationship is in a box.

He's a very different person than everybody I've ever dated.

But is he also controlling?

Yeah, he has controlling ways about him.

You're a strong, beautiful woman. Do you need to be controlled?

I don't.

juggling act and every day is a new but that shouldn't be be happy he has to

accept you oh i love this guy okay like i don't know what else to say like i i

i have said to tinsley you're not driving i don't even think that

the car and she certainly doesn't even know where the car is going it seems

it's too much pressure i'm really sorry i'm really sorry i'm really sorry

And it seems like you must be under a tremendous amount of pressure and

And that doesn't seem healthy and it doesn't seem happy.

If you were my best girlfriend, I'd say, we have to pull you out of this. I want

to do this and I'm trying. But then you have to be a strong woman and not let

him drive.

I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry. I'm not there.

I've got advice for you.

Take the truth and not the dare next time.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New York City.

What is going on here? Anybody seen Alfred Hitchcock? I'm looking for him.

I don't like the caveman now. That's what she needs, the caveman. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Did you hook up with Mario? I stroked his face with

cream. What?

Are you ready to join the circus?

Yes. I'm so excited.

Do you think you could announce the show from up in the air like that?

Oh, wait, what?

We're officially done and broken up. No.

For more on the Real Housewives, go to bravotv .com.