Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New York City.

What's going on? Are they making out? What's happening?

Oh my God.

You undervalue yourself.

He should be chasing you. All the guys should be chasing you. She's not going

give it that much more time.

What?

A guy that I met, who I like, he's reached out a lot. So I'm going to go

Tuesday night and have dinner with him. Which could be a disaster and I could

start crying at the table.

When you see her, like, don't talk about the past.

You should stay out of it. You have no skin in this game.

You should just own that you did heckle the Giovanni and that you brought up the

papers. I did heckle the Giovanni.

What? I'm going to give you a hug even if you want it or don't want it.

She expected an apology.

I have been friends with this girl for over 13 years. And you can go. If that's

what you're going to come here and aggravate me, go.

I plead guilty to being bad.

The only thing I'll settle for is more.

People call me over the top, but lately I prefer being a bottom.

Game set.

Now I need a match.

When life gives me limes, I make margaritas.

If you've got a problem with me, it's your problem.

I'm concerned about this because I don't want it to change the shape of your

jaw. And you have your dad's jaw.

What? And I like it. It's a square jaw.

I'm talking way too much on this part.

Hi.

Tinsley Mortimer.

Yes, I am so. Well, hi. Hi. The piece about the top. Okay.

I'm always stressed. And the fact that I know that I'm always stressed is what

makes me more stressed.

I've been grinding my teeth so much at night that I've ended up.

creating all the pain. And so I had vodka, but I was drooling it in my mouth

then spitting it out just to numb the pain.

It's like old school.

I'm not sure what you're doing exactly.

You know, it's hard to talk and think at the same time.

I heard that, you know, for all my TMJ, you can get Botox to release some of the

tension and the pressure, so I'm all for it.

So, Mommy, we'll deal with this, and then I need to deal with all the stuff

the... best friends for strut your mutt i'm seeing the fashion show part of it

and so some of my friends are doing it like i mean sonia's doing it and

doing it with her dog what are you wearing what am i wearing yeah it's the

are the model The Strut Your Mud event is to raise awareness for Best Friends

Animal Society pet adoption.

The fashion show component is a baby step. It's getting me back into New York

City and into this charity world that was such a big part of my life. The more

that I do these things, the more I'll be able to reconnect back to that person I

used to be. I actually went to the adoption center they have there, too.

Oh, my goodness. Hi, Matilda.

Matilda is 10.

We're going to get you something super cute and fashion -y to wear.

And you're going to get a lot of attention.

I'm so happy to get back involved in animal rescue.

I'm nervous, though, because I have to speak publicly, which I'm terrified of

doing, but with help from Josh.

Hello. Hi. Hi, Ginger.

Nice to meet you. How are you? Nice to meet you. This is my mom. I'm the

You look like sisters.

Well, you're kind.

Thanks a lot.

No, that was just a compliment for her. I know, I know. She looks great, but I

have a lot of problems with my jaw and TMJ and like grinding at night. And then

I had crazy like nerve damage, pain.

It was horrendous. You can't put enough Botox in to relieve, okay, the tension

in that area, okay? Right. My TMJ began once.

my relationship ended in Palm Beach and resulted in this mugshot. My whole jaw

is tense and locked because I can't get over a lot of the things that have

happened in my past.

But I think that predominantly the stress right now in my life is all based

my relationship with Scott.

So, Scott, close.

Okay, now, how much is this going to hurt?

The small little 30 -gauge needle, but a whole bunch of little sticks.

That really hurts.

Okay. While I'm here, will you freeze my forehead? Just because it's never moved

this much.

So you don't want to move at all? I don't like to move. There's no point.

So if I startle you, you don't want to look startled? We like fake.

You like fake.

Mercer girls love Botox. And we certainly have used Botox in every

place.

Is everyone ready for me? I think so.

All right, I'll give you a little squeezy ball. Thank you. We have two?

We have two. Give it two, okay? We have two balls, okay?

Two balls, okay?

Okay. Oh, God, hold on.

I'm sorry, I was thinking about balls now.

What do you

think? This isn't talking to me, bitch. No, I got the new wireless thing. These

are wireless and this is wireless. Now that I'm in my apartment, I'm trying all

these new things. And these, they cut out the sound noise from around you.

is that much noise in your apartment?

Yes.

I'm right on Columbus Circle. It's gorgeous.

But it's like you're at a rave all the time. How did you find this?

I just went online.

I had to find a place while they were packing up the townhouse, and I went

this.

I don't have FOMO. No fear of missing out, because I'm in the middle of it. I

had a blind date, by the way.

Blind? Blind.

Can I give you my philosophy on marriage? No.

I'll say it anyway.

Divorce rates 50%. Well,

first of all, he speaks three languages, very worldly. That means he wasn't

gorgeous, but he was smart.

How did you know that already?

Well, when you say a girl has a great personality, it means she's not good

looking. Oh, my God, you're so funny. But that's great. I like a smart guy,

don't you? But, you know, 50 -something, never married, that's the warning sign.

And I said, all right, what's the longest you've ever gone out with a

said, three years. I go, okay, did you live together? He goes, no.

I mean, there's something weird there. So to me, it's like, next.

But at least he was smart and had a job. But I don't know that that's at the top

of your list. You like good -looking guys with a washboard. I'm into the sex.

Job is kind of like in the middle there. I admit it. I'm into hot sex.

Attractive. Someone that I just want to rip their clothes off. I know that.

Ramona is a date monster.

I mean, she's dating so many guys.

I'm constantly saying, tired, busy, maybe next month.

Call me when you're divorced. I don't know how they do it.

I heard from Dorinda. She had lunch. Oh, the lunch with Bethany and Lou and

Barbara. Yeah, so she said it went pretty well. She was pleased.

So Dorinda's feeling great.

Well, you know what? She texted me, actually. Dorinda actually is in the

place I've seen her in a long time.

I'm very hopeful now that Dorinda and Luann have made a bit of amends that we

can be cohesive and laugh and, okay, we can cry and fight. But, like, gel, gel

as a group, because we haven't done that in ages.

I think actually right now, right now, in this moment, I'm good with everyone.

So I'm looking for the Berkshires. Oh, my God. I don't think Dorinda even wants

to do the Berkshires.

Let's start this party.

You are a hypocrite. You fuck everyone.

Oh, really? And you pretend that you don't. I cooked all day.

I decorated.

I did it nice.

You were topless. You had sex on a waterbed. You kissed another woman.

Mention it all.

Mention it all. No. No more. No. No more.

Boy, she has a short memory. It's like having a baby. You forget and you do it

again. I love it.

Should I bring a two -toned watch so I just have it all together?

Or did I only do gold? I don't remember.

Yeah, we have some gold. We have some silver.

It's too many moving parts. So much travel.

Even for me, this is crazy now.

Okay. I'm going to visit this new guy I'm dating who lives in Boston.

We met last year, but it really heated up after Dennis passed away.

That should be there, okay? Okay.

Skinny girl jeans, skinny girl jacket. I have two pairs just in case.

I'm just going to see where this goes. It's a courtship. I'm being pursued by a

gentleman, and I like it, and it's very refreshing and very welcomed right now.

The Boston stuff's separated. I see that.

Them are going up to the Berkshires. I'll be a little later. I think

getting there the day before.

Right. All right. What time is this shrink coming here? He's coming in the

10 minutes.

Dennis' passing was very traumatic, and it's a weird time to be dating someone,

to be honest.

So I wanted to see a grief counselor because I want to make sure that I'm not

transferring my grief from Dennis onto another relationship.

Give myself the best shot at success.

Hi. Hi. How are you? Bethany, I'm okay.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Norman Fried. Norman?

Yeah. Thanks for coming. Sure. So, want to come over here?

Sure.

This is water if you want anything.

Oh, thanks.

And there's a little table over there if you need it.

I think I'm good.

Well, it's nice to meet you.

And you too. Even though I've gone to therapy in the past, I haven't been

religious about it because I have a crazy, like a really crazy schedule,

isn't a good excuse.

And I'm having trouble breathing. Okay. One of the hardest parts of grief

therapy is the very beginning. Yes.

We all grieve differently.

So there are days when you think you're getting worse, but you're always rising

to a higher vantage point.

So it's different for me, for example, than his ex -wife who has to deal with

the morgue and the bills and the kids and all of this other stuff.

I had to figure out where my place was at the funeral. I didn't want to

Like, I didn't feel like I had an identity in any of it. And I kept, in

middle of the night, waking up and asking my friends, is he really dead?

like, going through, like, the denial.

Because I would imagine a sudden death from an overdose is just extremely

different than just knowing someone's going to die of cancer.

It is. You have the grace of a warning when someone is very ill.

But this is different because at one moment everything's fine and in an

your life has changed forever.

I mean it's really brutal.

He was really someone that I went to for everything.

So him being gone is just a massive void and I really can't believe he's gone.

He had such a powerful force in my life and such a loving person and my daughter

loved him that it was like this whole thing that was hard to extricate myself

from. But I had just said though that week.

I haven't told anybody this, so.

Coming up.

What are you doing?

Oh, they're having sex.

Something my girl.

Dennis, I had such a powerful force in my life, and my daughter loved him, that

it was like this whole thing that was hard to extricate myself from.

I had just said, though, that week.

I haven't told anybody this. I had just said the Saturday before, I have to exit

this dynamic.

So then, like, there was a lot in my mind about him dying right after that.

I could not get off the ride. And it's just, I feel guilty that the only way

that I got off the ride is that he's dead.

Well, it actually sounds like you tried to get off the ride before he died.

I did. And I'm saying to you, Bethany... But I hope that I didn't have anything

to do with him dying.

You know?

Dennis told me...

We didn't work out. He was never going to be in a relationship again.

He was going to be alone for the rest of his life.

It was a tremendous pressure, and it kept me in.

I don't know what happened that night, and I will always have to live with that

for whatever that means.

Now I feel better, and I feel guilty that I feel better, but I feel like he

would want me to feel better, and I try to make decisions based on what he would

want me to do. And then, you know, am I supposed to be dating?

Because I was dating before.

So it's like...

What would he think of that?

Well, the protocol is different for everybody. There is no roadmap for

and it's okay.

Loving somebody else is a testament to the love you had with Dennis.

What do you mean?

You're saying, Dennis, I loved your love. I love being in love. I want to

that again, and so in meeting somebody new, I'm honoring the love that you

taught me to feel.

That makes sense.

This relationship might actually help you grieve more for the loss you

It's not as if you're hiding it and burying it.

It's actually facing your fears straight on. I want family. I want a unit for my

daughter. It doesn't have to be tomorrow. I know exactly what I want. I

tell Dennis that all the time. He knew exactly what I wanted.

He couldn't do it. Although I really loved him, my relationship with Dennis

not a healthy one.

But losing someone that I really depended on, like a brother, a father, a

friend, a lover, not fair. Like, that's the one category that I really need

to be filled. You know, whether we were going to end up together romantically or

not, he was still my person.

If you're having a bad day, have it.

If you're having a good day, relish it. Because it's strengthening you for

tomorrow, which is going to be a bad day.

Okay. It's okay.

It does change in time, Bethany.

Okay. Thank you so much. It was good to meet you. Thank you so much. Appreciate

it. Nice to meet you.

That was really good.

Sorry.

Hi. Hi. Hi. It looks so cute. Oh, does it? Oh, my God. I'm so excited.

Hi.

I wanted to meet you.

Thank you for all your good work. All right, let's show you where we are.

great. And this is our backstage little area here. Oh, cute.

I adopted Bambi when I was working at the Humane Society, and he has just

changed my life. He seems just so grateful for his new life, and I just am

happy to give him a forever home. I want to help other dogs in his situation.

Hi, Dale.

Dorinda. Hi.

Oh, you look beautiful, girl.

Oh, you look beautiful as usual. I love this sweater.

Thank you. Thank you. And we say hello. Hi. Hello. Where's Matilda?

I can't wait for you to meet Matilda. Oh, my gosh. Thank you for doing this.

I going to want to take Matilda? I know. She's so sweet. She's 10 years old.

Older dogs are hard to adopt.

I just lost my dog. I know.

That's why I'm saying thank you for doing this.

Lucy was 15, and after she died, I had this vivid, vivid dream of Richard there

on the couch, and I saw Lucy's face pop up, and I thought, oh, my gosh, she's

home. So that's a happy ending.

You want to go up the step? Come on.

Wait, you said you were going to wear jeans. I wore jeans. No, no, I was going

to, and those were tight.

You went to a cocktail party, girl. You look great.

I'm casual.

Sonia went all out.

I didn't get the damn memo.

There we go.

Hi. Hi. How are you doing? Hi.

Thank you for coming. Are you kidding? I'm happy to be here. We only had the

dog for adoption, so you said that you'll just cheer us on. Okay. I get to

watch. Hi, girl. Hey. How are you doing?

I'm so happy you're coming to the Berkshires early.

Yeah, I'm coming. I'm so excited. Monday, she's coming on Monday. Well,

know, I'm coming from my house in the States, so I'm going to be up there in

case. When I see Dorinda and her eyes light up, it really makes me feel good.

But Barbara told me about getting thrown out of Dorinda's house. She was like,

get out! Get out of this apartment!

Really? Yes!

I mean, Lou, should I go to the Berkshires? Unless she reaches out to

would say the invitation is still open.

I'm going to be there. Frankly, I'm quite nervous to go back to Dorinda's,

think we just need to get over the drama and move forward.

We're going to have the naked chef do a dinner. He just wears a thong and an

apron. Stay away from the naked chef. I am staying away from the naked chef, but

I will eyeball him to death. You can do it. You can ball him whatever you want.

Ball him. That's you. You ball him. I'll eyeball him. As everyone knows, I love

my decorations.

And every year I like to do something to step it up.

And I've got a naked chef.

And I mean naked. So, Sonia, this one's for you.

So we're going on your friend's boat?

Yeah. My girlfriend has her boat docked right around the corner. So she invited

me and all of you to come by and have a bite to eat and some drinks. I can't

come because I've got to get up to the Berkshire. I've got to decorate.

I can't believe you're doing this. Do you have a good yoga teacher up there? I

do. Can we get, like, yoga on Wednesday morning, do you think? I'll totally

think that happens.

If it's possible. Absolutely.

Let's go and get a coffee. Yeah, okay.

Do you guys want a coffee? Yeah, I'd love one.

Hi, ladies. Hi. All right, so she's a good spirit.

Yeah. She's not too expressive, but that's okay. That's okay.

Listen, every time is progress.

No, she's fine. She's going to be fine. I think it's a great idea that she's

coming up without anybody, without Bethany or Barbara.

Kind of like with the old crew, you, Sonia, me.

Can't take anymore.

I asked Barbara to leave my apartment.

But I did invite her to the Berkshires because I think it's the right thing to

do. And what a relief.

She's not coming until the second day. Because I'm sure if I can get Luann up

the Berkshires without all these outside voices, or should I say voice, then

maybe we'll be able to get somewhere.

Two minutes are starting. Oh, two minutes. Oh, yeah. Mom wanted me to tell

that you need to... Okay, okay. You know what? Thank you. It's like really right

now, Mom?

Marley and...

So I just walk? I don't say anything or do anything? Yeah, just do whatever you

want. You can pose.

Ramona, this is your moment to kill it on the runway, okay?

The first time I walked the runway, I was a deer in headlight.

But today, I got Coco with me. I'm confident.

I feel good.

Hey, everybody.

Okay, here we go. Tinsley Mortimer is here with us.

And to support Best Friends and to support animal welfare, Tinsley and her

lovely friends have put together a doggy fashion show for us with all the

proceeds going to pet adoption.

So let's enjoy the show.

Okay, thank you.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Best Friend Animal Society Annual Strut Your Mutt.

I'm honored to be here today to support all the amazing work this organization

does and host a doggy fashion show for you all.

First up, we have the lovely Sonia Morgan, all decked out with her dog,

and he's modeling this beautiful velvet coat with white collar.

Marley likes the attention.

Sonia, look at me. So does Sonia.

Next up, the star of the show. And no, Dorinda, it's not you.

Adopt me.

It is Matilda.

Yay, Matilda.

Good girl.

Next up, we have Coco with Ramona, the mommy.

Try to pose, Ramona.

Yeah. Look at you.

I just want to get back to the things I used to do and to feel the confidence I

used to feel.

Good job.

And to do an event like this, particularly when they go well, it's

encouraging. It makes me feel really good about myself and makes me feel like

can, you know, be that girl that I used to be and feel like myself again.

Thank you, everybody, for coming. Head to Titsway!

Titsway!

You want to get in, Marlee? You can go.

Thank you, Bubba.

Thank you for doing that.

Oh, they're having sex!

Ah! What are you...

I'm a bedroom short.

So who gets the fish room?

Where are we going, Lou?

Straight. Straight, sir.

No. No. Go left. Get in there.

Follow with the guys.

All right.

Here we go.

You're dressed for boating, but you look beautiful.

What? Are we boating or are we lunching? We're never lunching, but you look

gorgeous. Thank you.

Hi. Hi. How are you?

My assistant picked up, and I went down to the boat, and I thought I was on

time, and I was 15 minutes late. Oh, it's okay.

It was good? Oh, it was cute.

Watch the step.

Watch the step.

We got the yacht.

I'm so glad. I love a yacht. I know you do. It's so good.

Oh, do we have a, is it open?

Uh -oh, is it closed?

Hi, ladies.

I know. Reach over.

Reach over.

We're going to break in. I met Deborah Wasser about 22 years ago in

Deborah and I are close friends.

Wow, what a great boat.

Look at this.

This is crazy.

I am never one to turn down an invitation to lunch on a yacht.

I'll do anything on a yacht. Just invite me.

Excellent. Hi, how are you? Thank you so much. So pretty. Oh, kale salad. I'm up

for that.

Thank you. Oh, and this is all your sea glass. Did you collect it all? Yes, I

did. Whose wine is this?

Take it away. Take it away.

That's just tempting fate.

Rosé is the only thing that kills me.

Rosé is the one thing that's so tempting.

Dorinda went to the Berkshires already?

Yeah, well, she had to get the house ready. So the weather's supposed to be

for the Berkshires?

Yeah. 80s? Did she tell you about the chef? A naked chef? Is he going to be

naked? Where's the thong? He has, like, really good stomach muscles.

And there she goes. But that's elevating. You could do the Samantha

where you lay down and there's sushi all over. Oh, my God. Body sushi. That

closes me out.

I never got that. I'm not into sushi all the time. You never got that? I think

it's kind of hot.

I think it's hot.

I mean, I don't think I'm eating, like, sushi off of someone's vagina, but, I

mean, off a belly button, why not?

I was going to say it was a difference between sushi and pussy rice, but I

say that.

Sorry. Come on, Ramona.

Don't play all Catholic schoolgirl on us.

Well, no, because darling, it starts to smell like fish.

There you go. Now you took it to another level.

I said it very, very elegantly. You took it to another level. Wow. Yeah.

On that note, are you guys hungry?

Yeah, sure.

Of course we have sushi.

Where's Scott? Is he around?

No, he was going to come this weekend, but then my mom is here, and she had to

bring Bambi for me.

So I don't want the two of them being together.

Wait, you don't like the dog and Scott together, or your mom and Scott

You don't want Dale and Scott? No, because last Christmas when we were all

together, she told him to jump ship or something.

Something baby came up.

And she said to him, you have plenty of time to think about things like that.

And then I said, well, she doesn't. So if this isn't going to work or

then you need to jump ship.

Oh, my God. Are you sure you want to have kids or not? You don't need to. No,

she wants kids. It hasn't been something that I've ever thought that I wasn't

going to be able to do. So, of course, I think in my mind I can. She saved your

eggs. Do you mind if I ask how old you are? I don't actually know the answer.

43.

How long have you guys been together now? We'll be two years in February.

That's a long time.

At 43, it's a long time.

I'm on my third date. Moishe's moving.

For me, it's the relationship first, the kids second. My question is, do you

love each other?

I'm not hearing that part, which is kids and no kids a thing.

Is this the guy that you say, this is going to be the father of my children?

Yes. Just because I don't share that part.

I don't know Scott, and he's not around often because it's a logistical problem.

He lives in Chicago. My brand, my image is connected to New York. So that's what

I lost when I went back to Palm Beach. And then I'm trying to now build up

This is why I did the charity event today.

Oh, foundation.

You obviously know about brand building and stuff. It just doesn't make sense in

Chicago right now. That's all. I get it. I feel badly like we're grilling her,

but I feel like aren't these basic questions like are you in love?

Do you think you'll get married?

I feel like these are the first couple of questions on the SATs. We haven't

gotten into the hard shit yet. We're into very basic questions like, what is

your favorite color?

Are you 100 % sure that you guys are going to be together, that he will ask

to marry him, that that is going to happen? How can anybody be sure about

anything? I would be sure every time I've known. I may not have made the

choice, but I don't know.

First dates, guys tell you. I know I want to be. I know he showed me pictures

the ring and stuff like that. Yes, I know that. Okay. I know that he knows

shape of the ring and everything I want. I know that he showed me and he's like,

talk to me about it. Well, great.

Great. What man shows a woman pictures of an engagement ring?

God knows Tinsley wants a commitment, so I think he's just playing with her or

playing with himself.

We've talked about, yes, eventually, like, I would be in Chicago. But until I

have, like, a ring on my finger, I'm not fully, I'm not going to leave New York

totally.

Really? Really, yes. I would want a ring on my finger before I moved into

Chicago. I'm not leaving New York City.

Would he bolt with an ultimatum?

If you said, listen, if I'm not by 2019 engaged, I'm a 43 -year -old woman,

would he bolt?

Cut me out.

I am so... My leg.

Would Scott bolt

with an ultimatum? If you said, listen, if I'm not by 2019 engaged... I don't

think that Scott...

You know, because, like, I don't think he does well with a threat.

Because I know how he reacts in business. I know how he reacts to people

feels like. Yeah, but this is not business. It's not about him. It's about

This is your personal life. This is your life. I understand, but I'm sorry.

Okay, okay, you're asking a question. I don't want to set an ultimatum. In my

mind, do I have a little bit of a timeline?

Yes, I do.

Tinsley is manipulating the situation so much she can't see what's actually

happening, hoping that it'll all pan out.

He pretty much knows, like, where I am, okay?

But I said my piece the other night at the rooftop with Dale. So if the other

girls want to chime in now, I'm happy to stay quiet and eat the shrimp.

I'm not going to tell him my timeline.

I'm not going to tell him. It's not an ultimatum.

What's wrong with being honest?

It doesn't make you desperate.

Because I don't need to.

I don't need to. Why am I having to, like... No, because we're concerned

you, because we care about you. We have no dog in this family. Right. You see,

you're acting very defensive, and that makes me nervous. Maybe down deep you

feel like something's not quite right. No, I'm defensive because I feel like my

relationship's on a chopping block right now. I feel like you guys are putting

it under a microscope a little bit. You're asking me questions.

I'm sorry you feel that way. That's not our intention.

It doesn't seem that Tinsley has the relationship she would really like to

with Scott. And that's one of the reasons why she's acting very testy and

nervous about answering because it's not where it should be at this point.

We want you to examine your own emotions and your head. We want to give you a

reality check. We're trying to give you a reality check.

Because when the man was going through her relationship, she had blinders on.

Just making sure you don't have blinders on. Right, Lisa.

You do say that you have body issues, and we see that you're beautiful.

We see that you look great in a bathing suit. You don't see that. We think you

look great without no makeup. Maybe you don't.

I promise you.

You're breaking my heart.

I'm kidding. I'm joking. No, no, no. Maybe you don't know how good and smart

beautiful you are, and maybe you're accepting less than what you deserve.

Look, it's not like I don't agree.

It would be great to move this part of my life on. I get it, but I'm also not

going to leave him. You know, we talk about a future.

Well, I hope it turns out really well for you. Here's to your dreams coming

true. Here's to your dreams coming true.

I mean, you guys are worse than my mother.

Seriously. You've got to love yourself. Listen to Justin Bieber.

Hey, Len.

Yes, ma 'am. I bought some carving things, but I also have some, like,

carving things.

Oh, look what I found, Len. If you're not nice, you know what I'm going to do.

I'll lock you up.

That's not for me.

If I don't use it for Halloween, I can use it for John.

Bluestone Manor is great at Christmas, but imagine Bluestone Manor on

Whoopsie, whoopsie, whoopsie, whoopsie, whoopsie, whoopsie. You can't get away

from me.

There are cauldrons.

Eyeballs. Dead people.

Clowns.

Clowns.

Perfect. Tinsley, Sonia, and Ramona will be arriving early. I like when people

arrive at different times because I get to see the initial...

Over and over and over again.

Alrighty, I think we're done.

Good, okay.

Are we there yet?

What's going on, Josh?

Hey, we gotta turn onto this highway.

Did I wake you up?

Oh my God, you are like... So funny, you cracked yourself up.

That's what's really funny about you, is you cracked yourself up. Josh, what's

wrong? I'm sorry, he wasn't driving.

He's not.

Well, it's a red light camera ahead, just so you know.

All right, listen.

You're supposed to go to Springbrook Parkway. It's 300 feet. That's what

doing. 31 miles until you go to exit 23, Bryant Park Pond, okay? The sign back

there said... Josh, hey, listen. The sign back there said exactly that. You

don't need, like, don't even respond to these two. Just don't worry about it.

Oh, my goodness.

Hold on.

Well, I would leave the dogs in there, Melinda. All right, I just wanted to

this off for you. Oh, that's so nice.

For your garden? Yes. I love these.

You want, I have a ton of those, Melinda. And I pickle them. Do you

Yeah. My sister is the authentic farm -to -table. She's Mother Earth. She

all her own vegetables.

She collects stray pets.

My sister never left Great Barrington, never wanted to leave Great Barrington.

Oh, my God, this is great.

Melinda is like me, an equal opportunity holiday decorator.

There's so much havoc in this house, Santa. Did you feel it? I did. I think

Santa has a vagina.

Then I put the mummies in the windows. We have the flashing lights on. What did

you do with that ball?

The ball's coming up because it was at the house. What do you think, you guys?

I think we're going to officially have a great Halloween. You going to come

along?

I've got someone bringing it up for me. I still think it's haunted.

That's why I took it out of the house.

I mean,

it's great, but it is.

It's crazy.

I don't like the teeth. The teeth are crazy when they're looking at you. No,

she's creepy. But I thought because I'm having this party tonight, she'd be

good. Don't bring her in the house. Are you kidding me? Bad juju. No. Well, why

did you give her to me? Because I didn't want it.

And I know you like Halloween.

Coming up.

Do you think Dorinda would have said, no, I'm keeping that room for the win.

don't you go to Swordfish?

Look at all the decor.

Oh, she's so cute.

Oh, look at this, how pretty she is.

Oh, look how cute.

I'm just going to bring in my trusty pillow.

I'm going to let you go.

I am so.

My legs.

Look, she loves the grass. She pees right on the grass. Look at that.

Scary.

I don't like it. I don't like it. Oh, my God.

That is scary.

Oh, my God.

The guy that's hunched like that looks like Bethany crying.

Oh, my gosh. You look like you're dead.

So scary.

I was like, who is that? Who did they invite? I cannot believe.

How many decorations that Dorinda has up here for Halloween. It's bigger than

what you'd have in a store.

Hello.

Aww. I love your jacket. Thank you.

This is so fun.

Aren't you scared with all the stuff in your house?

And all the orange. I love it.

This is the theme for the weekend.

Okay. I want you to look at it.

Take it in and believe it.

Why are you giving it to Tinsley? I think she's the least of our worries.

I think the sign should say, buckle up.

Is it just us for dinner, or who is it? Well, Luann's going to meet us there, so

I don't want to be late. I don't want to have her waiting.

Right. Is she staying?

She's going to stay.

Okay.

That's good. No, it's good.

I just was wondering why she wasn't here. She was in a good mood on the

that was nice. She was happy.

She wasn't in a great mood at the dog thing when she saw me. She wasn't?

Not with me, I don't think. Hey, hello.

Listen, I don't think she was in a bad mood. I just don't think she really

wanted to chat with me. Maybe I'm just sensitive.

We have one thing.

I'm a bedroom short.

I want to stay in here.

Who's wrong? No, Bethany asked me to stay in there.

She's not even here. I know, but she said please. She's staying here, not the

hotel, because she has been ruined. She said I won't stay in a hotel, and I'll

come up if you please. I'm used to that room. That is so, all right, whatever. I

don't care. She's in a bad place.

Bethany gets a little nervous when she needs to be a guest. It's sort of a loss

of control. Same for me.

And Bethany lost her very best friend, and I want to make sure that she feels

safe and happy and secure.

I'm going to put Luann in the Barack. I'm going to view the nice room in the

back. It's beautiful in the morning. Are you afraid to be back there?

Well, when you put it like that, are you afraid to be there?

Are you scared? I don't know. It's fine.

Do you want to start a United double up? Is that what you're asking? Well,

someone's got to double up. So let's double up. Who gets the fish room?

Dorinda doesn't realize the fish room is the least desirable room. Who wants to

wake up with a big fish? You feel like you're being punished if you stay in

room. That's why it pays to come early.

Luann can stay in the fish room back there.

Okay.

That's good.

When you snooze, you lose when you get to the Berkshires, and that means

sleeping with the fish.

All right, so you guys, ten minutes, then we've got to hop in.

Did the luggage come up?

Who did you think was going to bring the luggage up?

The mummy?

Is the mummy bringing the luggage up? The mummy brought the luggage up.

Wait,

let's move it. Come on. All right, I'm ready.

Bye, witchy.

Bye, witchy.

I'm going to have a hard time sleeping tonight.

Scary.

We actually are very nicely coordinated, ladies.

Good evening. How are you? Nice to see you again.

Good evening. Welcome back. Thank you. My name is Brandon.

The Wheatley Hotel is a perfect spot to introduce...

Luanne back into the Berkshires because, you know, it's very European.

And she'll be able to prance in in her countess fashion.

Hello, how are you?

Couldn't have thought of a better place.

Yay! Girls, hi.

You look good in this environment.

This is gorgeous. This is beautiful.

Awesome. Hey, girl.

How's it going?

It's going to be strange to be back in Dorinda's house after everything that's

happened, but I'm hopeful that it's going to be fun.

Look, Dorinda and I shook hands.

Truce, let's put our guns down.

But I'm not ready to sleep with her yet.

We're missing a couple of girls, aren't we?

Barbara's coming.

Yeah. Are you guys talking? What is going on with you and Barbara?

Yeah, we're talking. It's fine. If we weren't talking, she wouldn't be coming.

I feel like Barbara's trying to protect me from Dorinda and be a good friend.

But I think at this point, she has to work on her relationship with Dorinda

just keep me out of it. What are we doing tomorrow? Okay, we wake up

You're all going to do yoga. And then we're going to get dressed and changed.

And then we'll go to Ventford Hall.

It's a big, beautiful Morgan house.

I've never been to Ventford Hall. I heard about it first at a board meeting.

I'm very interested to see the place.

I've got to meet with the naked chef. And then we'll have dinner at 7 and have

nice dinner party.

Any chance you have of anybody for a massage?

Sorry, just asking. A massage?

Uh -huh.

I can arrange that. Oh, that would be great.

I got to take a pee.

I think Luann has mistaken my home for an inn.

But I can't get stuck in the weeds here because if I get angry, I lose.

So if that requires me to do a little extra to make her feel okay, I'll do it.

I'm more interested in trying to repair my relationship with Luann and get it

back on course, whatever that course is.

When you get your room.

Yes. We have gifts. Don't tell me I'm in the fish room.

Wait, what?

If I'm in the fish room, I'm going to freak out.

I cannot be in the fish room.

It's not Christmas.

I'm going to freak out.

in the fish room, I'm going to freak out.

What?

She thinks I came all the way up here and she's going to put me with the

stinking fish. She's got another thing coming.

I'm in the fish room again.

I've got water.

Water. Why did I sleep in here? I need to go to the spa.

Is it Betty Ford open?

We all woke up with the worst hangover in that room, and I would think that the

girls would remember that.

Wait, can I just say one thing? Yeah, please do.

Can I say one thing? After what happened between us, if she puts me in the fish

room, I will really be like, I knew it. I don't think she realizes. She doesn't

know. She thinks it's a good room. She doesn't know what. She thinks it's a

room. That the fish room sucks.

She thinks the fish room's great? The walls are green and it's navy blue bed

coverage. It's like her boy who's 14.

Don't insult her.

Don't insult her. I will insult her if I feel like it.

Dorinda, what room is Luann sitting, staying in? So I thought... Does she

choice? Well, I guess we figured it out. Do you not like the shark room? I'm

always in the fish room.

I think you should give her Bethany's room. I think you should give her

room. Why don't you guys give her your room? So she comes tomorrow and she

the nicest room in the house and I get the back room. I love it.

If you know what, I wouldn't expect less. I really wouldn't. I don't know

Luann's getting so entitled and angry about my rooms in my house.

I've invited you. You're my guest.

That's enough.

Just say thank you.

It was kind of rude of Bethany to say, I want this room. Well, she said she was

going to stay in a hotel.

And then she called me up. Well, then let her stay in a hotel. She called and

she said, listen, I'll come and stay with you if I can have my own room. If I

can have that room. Yeah. And of course you listened.

You didn't say, you know what, I think I'll give it to Lou this time. Why don't

I get the short end of the stick?

No,

I get the short end of the stick. Why don't you come sleep with me? Even she

doesn't want to stay. Why?

There's no bad rooms in my house. It's a beautiful manor. Every room is a half a

million dollar room. I mean, it's not like some cottage. You're staying in a

state. I mean, you're acting like you're staying in a shack.

Did you ever hear of the saying, it's the thought that counts?

I know. You have a beautiful room. That room is like, I probably know you have

an empty room tonight because Madame Bethany is coming tomorrow and you're

saving that room for who's coming tomorrow. And I drove.

from my house upstate to come and stay. After all this we've been through, I

think it would have been nice of you to make that gesture. I really do.

Dorinda and I need to make new memories and move forward with our relationship.

And I feel like by putting me in the same room, the shark room, it just

me to the past.

I mean, I've seen enough dead fish for the rest of my life. I'm not going to

you guys fight over this. I'll take the frickin' shark room, and you can stay in

my room. That's not the point. You're missing the point. No, I'll tell you.

are missing the point. No, I'm not, because she wanted to put you in that

and I didn't want to stay in that room. But I came early, and I said, no, I want

that room. And I didn't know that you had that room. I think Dorinda would

said, no, I'm keeping that room for the win. Because she didn't know that you

don't like the shark room. You go sleep with the swordfish tonight. Okay.

Why don't you go s**t the swordfish? I mean, the room is not some s**t room.

It's like the mobsters. They go, you're going down with the fishes.

You're not putting me in the f**king fish room.

Are you f**king kidding me right now?

Next on The Real Housewives of New York City.

So last night, you know, the land gets here. Put me in that room. I want to

in Bethany's room.

Why is the land talking about my back at all, saying any negative thing about me

whatsoever? And she should be saying, you're the Lord Jesus Christ.

Punch your face out.

Press the backs of your knees towards the fireplace.

This is why I don't get on top anymore to have sex. Welcome to Bedford Hall,

ladies. It's an old Morgan estate. I thought Sonia would find that

But you see these claw feet? That's the same you see in my house. And I have

these expensive family pieces. She's losing it again. We gotta get her out of

here. You don't touch the big Morgan letters!

Real Housewives, go to BravoTV .com.