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1
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,300
What are you looking at?
2
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,100
How much do you weigh?
3
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,800
Two pounds. What does that
have to do with anything?
4
00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:14,900
Nothing. Been to the gym recently?
5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,100
I have a squirrel named Jim.
Does that count?
6
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,900
Hey, why are you in such a rush?
You're up to something, man.
7
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,100
I don't like it.
8
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,900
Okay, Rich, I don't normally
say this kind of thing
9
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,500
but I've always enjoyed your company.
10
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:29,600
Enjoyed? Why are you using past tense?
You're scaring me, man.
11
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:31,600
I want you to have this.
You've always admired it
12
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:33,300
and I don't think I'll be needing it
any more.
13
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,200
Wow, I love this. Hey, I'm a bandito.
14
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:38,700
Okay, eyes front, don't look behind you,
all the best.
15
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,300
Holy shit nut!
16
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,100
I'd run if I were you, Rich.
That bull looks horny.
17
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,100
Its not long now till its over
18
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:56,600
Nothing much changed,
we're just older
19
00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:01,000
But if I see you again back in detox
20
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:04,500
Put my remains in my snuff box
21
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:09,000
So, get here in time
when our day comes
22
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:13,400
You thought it was gold
but it was bronze
23
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:17,300
Get here in time when our day comes
24
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:22,100
You thought it was gold
but it was bronze
25
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,100
- Can you speak French?
- Absolutely not.
26
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,400
Keep 'em guessing.
That's what I always say.
27
00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:35,600
Two hundred and twenty-four.
28
00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:39,300
You're missing out.
It's a language of love.
29
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,700
If I spoke French,
women would find me hugely attractive.
30
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:47,000
- You think so, do you?
- Mmm. Yeah.
31
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,200
I do.
32
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,000
I goddamn do.
33
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,600
Look at Bryan Adams.
34
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:02,800
Foul.
35
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:15,100
What the hell is going on with your eye?
36
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:20,300
Last night, I was making some beer
from one of those homemade brewing kits
37
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,600
you gave me for Christmas...
38
00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:26,400
And I guess I drank half a pint
that was still fermenting.
39
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:30,300
Next thing I know,
I'm seeing bright lights
40
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,500
and it's stinging like shit.
41
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,100
And now I can't see out of this eye.
42
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,800
I'm half blind.
43
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:41,700
Congratulations. Tell me,
44
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,800
how does it feel to be the biggest prick
in London?
45
00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:48,000
That hurts, man. That really hurts.
46
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,700
Where's your humanity?
47
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,700
On a thousand mattresses
from here to Greenland.
48
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:55,800
Yes!
49
00:02:57,700 --> 00:03:00,000
- Well done, man.
- Give me that.
50
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,100
Mmm.
51
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:05,300
Thanks very much, Ken. Thank you.
52
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,100
Matt, could you show me out of here?
53
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,000
It's Ken, actually.
But it'd be my pleasure.
54
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,000
Hey, check her out.
55
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,300
- Not bad.
- She looks French.
56
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,800
I think I'll try out my love language.
57
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,300
Well...
58
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,300
Yeah, whatever that means.
59
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,300
Mmm.
60
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,400
Bonjour, je m'appelle Richard.
61
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,200
Hi, je m'appelle Desi.
62
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,200
Ah, c'est tr�s bien, Desi. Mmm.
63
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,500
Qu'est-Ce Que c'est Que �a Que c'est?
64
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,600
Que �a Que c'est Que �a?
65
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,600
Que c'est Que �a Que c'est Que �a
Que c'est Que �a.
66
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,000
Que c'est Que �a Que c'est Que �a.
67
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:05,300
Que c'est Que �a. Que c'est Que �a.
68
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,700
Que c'est Que �a!
Que c'est Que �a Que...
69
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,300
- Que c'est.
- Nice work.
70
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,500
Hey.
71
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,500
I just ran out of words.
72
00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:20,600
Look, this thing takes
a little practice, that's all.
73
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,400
Watch and observe.
74
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:27,000
Private room. Ten minutes.
75
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,000
Napkin!
76
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:40,100
What's up with you?
You look like a dog with two dicks.
77
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,000
- Is that good?
- Very good.
78
00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:45,200
Well, I think I did it.
I met the love of my life.
79
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,700
I'd like you to meet her. Grendel?
80
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:48,800
Grendel, I recognise...
81
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,000
Grendel, I'd like you to meet
my best friend Matt.
82
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,100
Oh, yes.
83
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,600
Do you two know each other?
84
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,600
No, no. No, no. No. No, no, no.
85
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,900
Shut up! You're putting me off.
86
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,700
No, no. Not me.
87
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:05,900
No, no.
88
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,800
No, not my type. Very nice though, yeah.
89
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:12,200
Mmm, yeah.
90
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,700
Whisky!
91
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,400
Huh. Well...
92
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,800
I wouldn't mind getting my hands
on a blonde like that.
93
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,600
Very good. Very good.
94
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:38,500
Good morning, gentlemen.
95
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:39,700
Good morning.
96
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:42,700
Apologies for being late.
I had a meeting with our local vicar...
97
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,100
- Oh.
...and he's asked me
98
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,200
to perform a guest sermon next Sunday.
99
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:49,100
- Well done.
- Isn't that an honour?
100
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,600
Play the first clip, please, Felix.
101
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:58,500
Hello, Mrs Granger, it's Malcolm again
from Meals on Wheels.
102
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,300
Oh, I was hoping
it would be you, Malcolm.
103
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,000
What have you got?
104
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:06,300
Well, I've got
hot pot and jam roll.
105
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,100
Whatever are you doing, Mrs Granger?
106
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:14,300
How do you fancy putting
your jam roll in my hot pot, Malcolm?
107
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:16,400
Mrs Granger!
108
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,800
There's 10 grand
in that biscuit tin, Malcolm.
109
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:23,900
Think of all the scratch cards
you could buy with that.
110
00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:26,400
Well,
111
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:29,800
Let's fuckin' hope
age does come before beauty.
112
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,400
Are you gonna keep
your scarf on, Mrs Granger?
113
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:42,300
Of course, I am.
It's real mink.
114
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:46,100
Oh, heavens.
115
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,400
Oh, no.
116
00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:53,100
Oh, heaven. All right, Felix.
117
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:59,900
Truly tragic. You know,
I saw a magpie yesterday.
118
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:02,500
And I understand
they're also being wiped out.
119
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,800
Really? Crying shame.
120
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:07,400
- Isn't it just?
- What can you do?
121
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,100
What can one do?
122
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,400
What can one do?
123
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,400
So, I don't know if I'm diving head first
124
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:18,000
into this relationship
with Grendel or what,
125
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,600
but it looks like this one
could be the one.
126
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,700
But I don't want to rush into it.
127
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:25,300
I mean, she's so beautiful.
128
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:29,100
But she seems to be the only woman
not disgusted by my eye.
129
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,700
I mean, I need somebody that's
not gonna puke every time she sees me.
130
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,600
So I should marry her, right?
131
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:39,300
Do you want to order food?
132
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,300
Yeah, I guess I'll have
the rabbit omelette.
133
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,000
Oh, I just farted.
134
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,400
Sorry.
135
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:05,200
What's this? Got anything else?
136
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,900
All right, then?
137
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:35,900
You'll need a mop.
138
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:39,500
Hi, I want you to feel comfortable,
so please feel free to sit
139
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,500
- anywhere you'd like.
- I'll sit here.
140
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:42,800
I need to talk to you.
141
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,100
Well, I need to talk to you.
142
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,600
Okay.
143
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,100
I need to get something off my chest.
144
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,200
Well, jump right in!
145
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,600
But you don't have to talk
if you don't want to.
146
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,100
Well, it's my friend Rich.
147
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,400
He's about to marry this girl
called Grendel.
148
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,500
And I just know she's not right for him.
149
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:06,900
Please continue.
150
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,700
I'm intrigued!
151
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,300
Okay, I'll get down to brass tacks.
152
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:15,200
If he marries her, she gets her hands
on his royalty cheques.
153
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,700
And I just can't let that happen.
154
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,300
You do realise...
155
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,600
You're going to have to talk
to your friend!
156
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:31,400
Which is a terrible idea.
157
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,700
Yeah, but I don't know what else to do.
He won't stop talking about her.
158
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,900
I just know this will end terribly.
159
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,700
You have to tackle
this problem head-on!
160
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,300
Leave the country.
161
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,900
- What?
- Go to a cave for several years.
162
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:45,400
Join a monastery.
163
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:49,300
This is ridiculous. You're an idiot.
I know exactly what to do.
164
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,800
Well, I know exactly what to...
165
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:51,900
... do!
166
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,200
Brad, cancel all my
appointments for today and, uh...
167
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:58,700
... send in the next client!
168
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:03,100
Oh, and Brad, if you're getting lunch,
I'll have a strawberry milkshake.
169
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,500
Uh, make that rabbit!
170
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:11,300
You're quite an enigma, sir.
171
00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:14,900
- Really?
- We have walked almost two miles
172
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:17,800
and yet you have spoken but three words.
173
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,300
Hmm.
174
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:23,600
If I were bolder,
I'd say you were in love, sir.
175
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,600
Ah, a swing!
176
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,300
How charming.
177
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:31,500
You made this, didn't you, Master Berry?
178
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,100
I would be honoured if my lady
179
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,500
were to christen the rope
fully I have erected.
180
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,300
Oh, yes.
181
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,700
I say, over here!
182
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,600
Sir, it's Rupert!
183
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:52,300
Look, on the horse.
184
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,200
Yoo-hoo!
185
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,700
Hello!
186
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,000
A friend of yours, I presume?
187
00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,500
My fianc�.
188
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:01,700
Fuck you!
189
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,900
Yahoo!
190
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,200
I'll bet you rustlers are hungry,
aren't you?
191
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,600
Yeah!
192
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:18,900
Are you ready to partake
in the best all-you-can-eat
193
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:23,100
western super-jumbo
all-you-can-eat buffet and fixins bar?
194
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:24,600
Yeah!
195
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,700
Hold on there. Before we go in
and fill our gizzards up,
196
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:32,700
there are a few simple instructions
we're gonna have to follow.
197
00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:37,600
First, we can't all go stampedin'
to the buffet bar willy-nilly.
198
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:40,800
That'd be against state
and federal regulations.
199
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,700
Now, each of you has been given
a pre-designated number
200
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:47,300
you will find underneath your seats.
201
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,700
Now, each number has a letter by it.
202
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:53,100
All those with an A on their card
203
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,000
will proceed to the mashed potater line
204
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:58,900
right next to the Calamity Jane statue.
205
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:01,900
All B's will go to the salad bar
206
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,800
that's southwest of the covered-wagon
sausage pit.
207
00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:09,500
Now, if you have a C,
you are a lucky cowpoke
208
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,800
because you're going
to the Smoothie General Store
209
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,700
next to the Briar Rabbit.
210
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,400
- Did he say rabbit?
- All right, everybody?
211
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,700
Texas Willie ain't done yet.
212
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:24,500
Each letter, once done
with its predesignated area
213
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,800
shall then proceed to the area
two letters above.
214
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:32,600
Therefore, mashed potater people
will go to the Smoothie General Store.
215
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:36,500
Now, is everybody ready to eat
some of the best grub
216
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,600
this side of Pecos County?
217
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:44,800
Hold on! Just three more rules!
218
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,900
Dipshit!
219
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,400
I'm gonna grab me a rabbit.
220
00:13:57,700 --> 00:14:00,400
I might go to the cinema this evening.
221
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,000
You know those two air hostesses?
222
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:10,500
They asked me if we fancied a game
of mixed doubles tomorrow.
223
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,400
Have you seen my reading glasses?
224
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,000
Shut the fuck up!
225
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,500
You can see I'm blind, you bastard!
226
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,200
You do it on fuckin' purpose!
227
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,900
I thought you were a friend.
228
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,500
- Where are you going?
- I gotta piss.
229
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,200
Don't wake Quickfinch!
230
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,800
Shh.
231
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,600
To blow that trumpet would be
the last foolish thing
232
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,600
you would ever achieve, Wormwood.
233
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,400
Ah, Mr Rich.
What the hell happened to you?
234
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,800
- Well, I started...
- Don't tell me.
235
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:59,500
You visited the Blue Leopard
during happy hour.
236
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,800
Ha. Funny as my crotch.
237
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,300
Actually, you wouldn't just nip off
for some...
238
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:06,800
Oh, yes, sir.
239
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,900
- As you were, sir.
- Well,
240
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,900
last night I was making beer
from one of those homemade brew kits
241
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,300
that Matt gave me for Christmas.
242
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,900
And I guess I drank a half pint
that was still fermenting.
243
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:23,700
'Cause next thing you know,
I saw all these bright lights
244
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,200
and my eye was stinging like shit!
245
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:30,000
And now I can't see out of this eye.
246
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:32,300
I'm half blind.
247
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,700
Sir Charles.
248
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,000
Sir Charles!
249
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,900
Sir fucking Charles!
250
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,900
I'm half blind!
251
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,100
Indeed.
252
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,300
Tell me, Mr Rich,
253
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:52,000
how long does it take the Earth
to rotate around the sun?
254
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:53,800
A year?
255
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,500
Excellent.
256
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,000
Fuck nuts!
257
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:02,500
How the hell did you do that?
258
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,600
You're like
some magic wizard magician guy.
259
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,800
Sir Charles, how do I ever repay you?
260
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,200
The pleasure's all mine, sir.
261
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,800
Talking of pleasure,
two twins and a snake?
262
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,100
Any preferences?
263
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,200
Wow. I'll take the snake!
264
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:23,700
I'm a great kisser.
265
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,400
I say, I have a snake
that would put that to shame.
266
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,000
You want to see it? Mmm, yes you do.
267
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:38,200
Could you imagine if Neil Kinnock
was in a film with Al Pacino?
268
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,900
It would suck! Like you, man!
269
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,600
You suck!
270
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:44,600
You suck!
271
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:45,800
Really?
272
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,800
Okay, forget that.
273
00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:52,600
What bugs me,
what really, really bugs me...
274
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,500
Is that I'm a retard!
275
00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:57,700
I'm a retard who sucks!
276
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,800
You suck, man!
277
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:02,400
I'm a retard.
278
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,200
You suck!
279
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,600
Guess what?
280
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:10,000
You suck!
281
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,500
Hey, where'd you get
those wheels? Daytona?
282
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,900
Five cars ridin' round a track!
283
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,000
Go, go, go!
284
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,800
You call that playing football, man?
285
00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:25,200
You suck!
286
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:26,300
Shut up!
287
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,900
No, you shut up.
288
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:32,000
Hey, nice gay music!
289
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:35,200
Which one of you's king of the gaylords?
290
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,800
Do you want a smack
in the mouth, pal?
291
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:41,900
No, but maybe you could play for me
some Judy Garland.
292
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,000
See you later, gays.
293
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:47,200
Maybe at the Gay Pride... Oh, I suck.
294
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,500
Never to late to pretend, my love
295
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,000
Never too late to say I'm sorry
296
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,200
Everything goes dark
297
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,100
I mean, the song's fine.
It would take care of itself,
298
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,400
but what are we gonna wear
on Top of the Pops?
299
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,000
What? Our clothes?
300
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:02,800
- Who gives a shit?
- I do.
301
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:05,400
We're not getting any younger.
I mean, you're not, and that's for sure.
302
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,600
I got a couple years' grace at a push,
303
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,200
but you're almost fucked,
wouldn't you say?
304
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:12,500
Well, I'm no Phil Collins,
but I do my best.
305
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:16,200
Yeah? Well, your best may not cut
the mustard, Mon ami.
306
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:17,800
I don't need this shit.
307
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,000
Neither do I. I gotta piss.
308
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,000
Never too... too late.
309
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:25,500
Too late.
310
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,600
That was quick.
311
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:32,000
Word of advice. It's the one
without the shoes on the end.
312
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,100
You haven't changed.
313
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,400
Holy fuck! Adam Ant.
314
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,500
Jesus, how long has it been?
315
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,800
Two years?
316
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,100
Thirty-five. You been back to Dartmoor?
317
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:47,300
No, no, not voluntarily. You?
318
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,500
No!
319
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:51,800
Hey, that Prince Charming number
is great.
320
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:54,100
And the kids love the pirate shit.
321
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,700
Tell me about it.
322
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,000
Hey, listen, uh,
I'm worried about my friend Matt.
323
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:01,100
You know, we're on
Top of the Pops tomorrow.
324
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,600
Anyhoo, he dresses like shit.
325
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:04,900
Could you have a word with him?
326
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000
Yeah, of course.
327
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,200
Thing is, he's as touchy as an actress
328
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:11,100
so try and be constructive, okay?
329
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:17,100
Right. Let's get back to work.
Who's the pirate?
330
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,000
Don't call him a pirate.
He's a pop star.
331
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:22,100
- Mmm.
- 'Ello, shipmate.
332
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,700
Your friend tells me
you're on Top of the Pops tomorrow.
333
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,400
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
334
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:31,400
Word of advice.
Do you own any other suits?
335
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,400
No one does that Perry Como look
any more.
336
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,300
Perry Como!
337
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,400
Okay, so I'm taking fashion advice
from Long John Silver.
338
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:41,700
Okay, now, my dickheaded friend
may think you're cool
339
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:45,300
with your fancy dress.
I think you look like Captain Birdseye.
340
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,500
And if you wanna grab hold
of my cat-o'-nine-tails
341
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:51,700
I suggest you walk the fucking plank,
n'est-ce pas?
342
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,000
Don't go!
343
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,000
Prince Charming!
344
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,600
Do you realise what you just did?
That was Adam Ant!
345
00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:08,700
You asked Adam Ant to walk the plank!
He's a pirate!
346
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,400
You don't ask a pirate
to walk the plank!
347
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,800
Well, what do you ask a pirate?
348
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,800
"Arr, can I have a biscuit?"
349
00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:22,700
- What a dickhead!
- I thought he was your pal.
350
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,600
Oh, we just shared a cell.
351
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,600
Never too late to say I'm sorry
352
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,900
Never to late to pretend, my love
353
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,400
Everything goes dark!
354
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:36,700
Arr.
355
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,900
- Matt.
- What?
356
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,900
I'm gonna do it.
357
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,200
What, go for a piss?
Well, you know where it is.
358
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:49,400
No, I'm gonna take the plunge.
I'm gonna marry Grendel tomorrow.
359
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,700
Good God, man,
you've just met the woman.
360
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:54,100
I know, but when it's right, it's right.
361
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,500
And I want you to invite everyone I know
to the wedding.
362
00:20:57,500 --> 00:20:59,500
- Just me, then?
- No.
363
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:03,200
I also invited your dad.
It's a shame you two don't...
364
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:05,700
Now, why would you do
a stupid thing like that?
365
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,600
Hey, go easy, Rambo.
366
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,500
What's the big deal, anyway?
367
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,500
Really, Berry, you know the rules.
368
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,900
Whisky!
369
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:22,100
Uh, maybe we should talk
about the hors d'oeuvres.
370
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,100
Does pheasant go with rabbit?
371
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,100
Let's discuss.
372
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:31,900
Or maybe deer goes better
with rabbit. I don't know.
373
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:36,800
Anyhoo, thanks
for this great stag night, Matt.
374
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,700
You're really making my marriage
something special.
375
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:43,900
Just about there.
376
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,800
You're the best friend I've ever had.
377
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:54,000
When I came to London,
I was real lonely.
378
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:59,200
I didn't know what I would have done
if I hadn't have metted you.
379
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,100
What?
380
00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:05,200
Oh, nothing.
381
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:07,600
Good.
382
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:10,500
Hey, this is that song.
383
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:18,700
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll admit,
this is a classic riff.
384
00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:20,500
Hey, check me out.
385
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,100
That's more of a bass, you idiot.
386
00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:28,900
Who gives a shit? I'm jammin'.
387
00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:34,000
No, look, see what I'm doing?
388
00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:36,500
I'm using the right chords.
389
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,400
C7 back to F.
390
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,500
No. No, no, no, no.
391
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:50,500
There's no way a guitar that small
could emit such a classic sound.
392
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:59,000
Now you're just being an arsehole.
393
00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:04,900
And I quit the band.
394
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,000
Fine. I'll go solo.
395
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,700
Hey, check this out.
396
00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:17,100
Yeah. Jam it!
397
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,900
Treat it like a Russian jumbo jet, huh?
398
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,000
Whoo, take it to prison.
399
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:24,900
Huh?
400
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,100
Read it like a book. I'm on chapter 20.
401
00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:32,600
Ooh, baby!
402
00:23:33,300 --> 00:23:35,500
Yeah! Matt, are you dead?
403
00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:51,500
To your good health, Mr Rich.
404
00:24:05,300 --> 00:24:06,400
Fuck!
405
00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:09,100
Fuck!
406
00:24:16,500 --> 00:24:19,600
Ken, I am starting to freak.
Where is Matt?
407
00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:22,700
And Grendel? And Matt's dad?
What am I gonna do?
408
00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:26,300
I think you need a drink, Mr Rich.
409
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:28,700
Thanks, Ken. You're the best.
410
00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:33,800
- Yeah!
- All right?
411
00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:38,100
Rich, may I introduce Matt's dad?
412
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,100
John Halliday Berry.
413
00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:42,400
Wait, you're Matt's dad?
414
00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:45,800
Made a dreadful mistake in Bangkok
30 years ago.
415
00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:49,700
- But Matt hates you.
- And I hate him.
416
00:24:50,100 --> 00:24:52,500
But what doesn't kill you
makes you stronger.
417
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:54,200
Whisky!
418
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,900
Where is the little bastard anyway?
419
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,300
I don't know,
but he better get here soon.
420
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,500
He's got my fucking ring.
421
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,500
Oh, yeah!
422
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,700
That's the ticket. Oh, yes.
423
00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:17,700
Nearly at the station. Oh, yes.
424
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,300
One stop.
425
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:21,500
Look out.
426
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:23,800
Oh, shit.
427
00:25:51,100 --> 00:25:52,700
Just like Charles.
428
00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:54,000
Just a bit of fun.
429
00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:05,300
Yeah.
430
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,700
I can't be in love if it's plastic
431
00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:15,300
To live on my own just seems tragic
432
00:26:16,300 --> 00:26:20,400
But we'll raise our swords high
when our day comes
433
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:25,000
You thought it was gold
but it was bronze
434
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,800
So, get here in time
when our day comes
435
00:26:32,900 --> 00:26:37,600
You thought it was gold
but it was bronze
436
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,900
Get here in time when our day comes
437
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:45,600
You thought it was gold
but it was bronze
438
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,800
Get here in time when our day comes
439
00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:53,500
You thought it was gold
but it was bronze
440
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,800
Get here in time when our day comes
441
00:26:56,900 --> 00:27:01,600
You thought it was gold
but it was bronze
442
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,800
Get here in time when our day comes
443
00:27:04,900 --> 00:27:09,400
You thought it was gold
but it was bronze
444
00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:12,700
Get here in time when our day comes
445
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:17,700
You thought it was gold
but it was bronze
32208
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