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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,500 Hey, Matt, how come you don't have any female friends? 2 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:11,500 What? 3 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,400 You know, friends that don't feel like men when you rub them. 4 00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:17,300 - What are you driving at? - Nothing. I was just saying... 5 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,700 Yeah? Well, if I was you I'd watch my tongue. 6 00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:26,900 - Anyway, what's the point? - Well, you know, Matt, 7 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,500 women have a lot of different perspectives on life 8 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:34,100 and a unique emotional intelligence that their male counterparts don't possess. 9 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,300 Really? 10 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:40,400 I read that in Cosmo magazine. It was the only one they had at the vet. 11 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:45,000 See, I couldn't afford a dentist, and my tooth is as big as a rabbit's foot. 12 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,400 Some say that's... 13 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,600 - After you. - No, after you. 14 00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:54,500 - I insist. - After you. 15 00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,400 Adios. 16 00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:01,100 Dickhead. 17 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:18,800 Hey, do you girls read Cosmo? I do. 18 00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:27,300 I can't be in love if it's plastic 19 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:32,000 To live on my own just seems tragic 20 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:35,600 But we'll raise ourselves high when our day comes 21 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,600 You thought it was gold but it was bronze 22 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,200 So, get here in time... 23 00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:45,300 So he's climbing up this ladder, gets to the very top. 24 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:49,600 His fingers fall off, loses his balance and falls into the fish tank. 25 00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:51,500 To which the Irish guy says, 26 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,700 "So, does that mean you're not the Pope?" 27 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,600 Okay, I've got one. Speaking of fish, as we were. 28 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,400 A man walks into a fish and chips shop, says, "I'll have fish and chips twice." 29 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,000 And the bloke behind the counter says... 30 00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:09,000 "I heard you the first time." 31 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,800 Good one, Mr Rich. 32 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaking of fish, as we were, 33 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:18,400 this blind man goes to a brothel, right, and he... 34 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:20,000 He doesn't finish Ken's punchline 35 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:22,200 and then he just bursts straight into mine. 36 00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,300 After all I've done for him... 37 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,300 Introduced him to the club, fed him whisky and women. 38 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,600 Who the hell does he think he is? 39 00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:32,800 I may have to kill him. 40 00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:36,000 ...right? So he takes one long sniff and he goes... 41 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:39,800 "Hello, ladies." 42 00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:43,900 You can't half tell them, Mr Rich. Okay, okay. 43 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,400 What did the fish say when it swam into a cement wall? 44 00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,200 "Dam!" 45 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,800 You're a funny dude, Ken. 46 00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:58,100 All right, you couple of joking brothers, I've got one. 47 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,200 What did the thirsty whale do? 48 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:03,400 - Dunno. - No? 49 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:09,000 - He bit the tail off a submarine... - And sucked out all the seamen! 50 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:14,200 You! You! You! 51 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,900 That man has just signed his own death warrant. 52 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,000 He is now officially a dead man. 53 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:24,600 That's right, dead. You heard me. Dead. 54 00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:26,900 What? Yes, dead. 55 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,500 Consider him dead. Oh, he's dead. Definitely dead. 56 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,500 You! You! You! 57 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,200 You! 58 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,600 Hi. I was told to come back on Wednesday to pick up the silver cowboy boots. 59 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,400 And who asked you to do that? 60 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,900 - Whomever I spoke to on the phone. - Did you get a name? 61 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,400 No, I didn't. What is this, d�j�-fucking-vu? 62 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,700 You want to cool your jets, big man. 63 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,300 And watch your language while you're up there. 64 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:05,900 Is it just my face, or... 65 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,500 Every time I walk into a shop to hand over money, 66 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,100 all I receive is backchat and ball-ache. 67 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,000 If you feel let down, you're more than welcome 68 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:16,500 to try somewhere else for your silver cowboy boots. 69 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,300 I don't want to look elsewhere. I just want the silver cowboy boots! 70 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,400 Hell's teeth, man! 71 00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:26,700 Slam your fist down in front of me one more time and see what happens, wee man. 72 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:32,100 Okay. 73 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:35,300 This is your Get Out Of Shop Free card. 74 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:39,600 Or, you can slam your fist down again and enter another world. 75 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,900 Fucking... 76 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,400 No, no, no! 77 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,200 Mmm... 78 00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,300 Oh, hi. The therapist is going to see you now. 79 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,400 Good. 80 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,500 - How do you do? - Hi. 81 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,900 I want you to feel as comfortable as possible, 82 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,600 so please, feel free to sit anywhere you'd like. 83 00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:20,600 Okay, thanks. 84 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,900 I'd really like you to sit on the sofa. 85 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:33,600 Okay, so, the thing is, my girlfriend... 86 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:35,900 Feel free to start at any time. 87 00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:39,300 Okay, so, the thing is, 88 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,200 I can't seem to shake this overall fear I have of commitment to one woman. 89 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:46,600 The moment I find something meaningful, I just want to destroy it or run away. 90 00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:48,400 - Exactly. - Right. 91 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,300 You're so open and free with your girlfriend 92 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,400 that it's causing you to be closed and constricted. 93 00:06:57,100 --> 00:07:00,800 - Is that good? - It's so good, it's bad. 94 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,500 I'm not following. You're saying my problem with... 95 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,100 You need to stop talking. 96 00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:08,800 Go on. 97 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:13,200 Right. Well, maybe I'm fearful of becoming trapped in a relationship, 98 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:16,400 - even though it's great. - I think I know what your problem is. 99 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,300 I don't know what's the matter with you! 100 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,400 Well, I guess I'm just on the fence? 101 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,600 Ah. You're so on the fence 102 00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:28,600 that you're actually taking a stance about being on the fence. 103 00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:32,400 No, I'm just on the fence, goddamn it! Why do you keep contradicting yourself? 104 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,600 I am so not contradicting myself. 105 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,600 Yes, I am! 106 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:41,100 Yeah, this isn't working. Goodbye. 107 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,800 Wait, I'm so sorry. 108 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:44,600 Get the hell out of my office! 109 00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:45,700 Come back! 110 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,500 You goddamn piece of shit! 111 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:52,100 Brad, send in my next client, and have him stay outside. 112 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:54,900 Thank you. 113 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,000 Asshole. 114 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,400 Rot rot hobba hobba ding dong do 115 00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,500 Hobba hobba do a day 116 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:06,800 Rot rot hobba hobba ling long log 117 00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:09,100 Everything went dog Everybody! 118 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,200 Rot rot hobba hobba ding dong dog... 119 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,600 Rich. 120 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,300 Rich. Rich! 121 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,500 Uh, Roger, 122 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,900 I was going to sing your favourite song this evening, 123 00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:30,700 but unfortunately, I don't play the banjo. 124 00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:33,000 Lucky for you! 125 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,000 Wait, there's more. 126 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,800 So let me just say Roger, 127 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:49,400 you're not getting older. You're getting... 128 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:53,200 Oh, wait. You are getting older, you two-balled bitch! 129 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:57,900 Happy birthday! 130 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,300 What a prick. 131 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:04,800 I can safely say that has to be the worst speech I've ever heard. 132 00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:06,200 He's an idiot. 133 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:09,200 This is going to be a piece of piss. The room will be mine. 134 00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:13,600 All right. Calm down, calm down. 135 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,200 Okay. 136 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:20,500 Roger, it's been an emotional evening. 137 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,100 Even the cake's in tears. 138 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,600 Shit. That was my best one. 139 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:34,500 My God. Uh... I'll do a limerick. That never fails. 140 00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:38,500 As we all know, Roger is a keen swimmer, 141 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:42,100 and I understand you're off to Aruba to swim this weekend. 142 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,600 I'd like to leave you with some words of wisdom 143 00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,100 in the form of a limerick. 144 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,700 A macho young swimmer named Dwyer 145 00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:55,100 Really liked playing with fire 146 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:56,700 One night in the dark 147 00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:58,000 He swam with a shark... 148 00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:00,600 And his voice is now two octaves higher! 149 00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,700 Well, that's it. He's dead. 150 00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,300 Fuck! 151 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:21,900 Fuck! 152 00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:23,500 Fuck! 153 00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,200 Enjoy. 154 00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,300 Fuck! 155 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,500 Look at that woman over there. 156 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,200 No, you . By the estate agent's. 157 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,600 What? The woman? 158 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,400 She wants to buy a house. 159 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:38,500 You're so naive. Are you still reading those women's magazines? 160 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,200 - Yeah! - Yeah. 161 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,500 You see, where you see champagne, I see. 162 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,500 She clearly wants to be picked up. 163 00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,100 What makes you such an expert? 164 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:50,700 I wasn't made an expert. 165 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,500 I was born one. Watch this. 166 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,100 So, why would a beautiful woman like you 167 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,500 be looking at flats in a neighbourhood like that? 168 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,100 What does that mean? 169 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,400 It means "Why put bay windows on a shithouse?" 170 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:17,200 Clearly, a woman as beautiful as you would be living in Kensington Gardens. 171 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:21,500 - Really? You think so? - I don't think so. I know so. 172 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,700 That's exactly what my boyfriend was saying the other day... 173 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,400 Fuck you! 174 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:39,200 - Can I help, sir? - Fuck! 175 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,400 I'm not familiar with that neighbourhood. 176 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,800 - Fuck! - Can I give you my business card? 177 00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:44,900 Fuck! 178 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,600 Fuck! 179 00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:50,700 Fuck! 180 00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:53,400 Fuck! 181 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,300 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 182 00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:31,500 The heart is pure. The mind is pure. 183 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:53,000 Oh! Fucking hell! 184 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,800 Oh, my good God! 185 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,200 That's disgusting! 186 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,900 Where the hell have you been? 187 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,400 Greece. Oh, I got you this. 188 00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:14,200 Man, I am in some serious poo-shit. 189 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,000 - I've gotta see Belinda. - Who? 190 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:20,700 Do you remember that nurse I met when we had that amazing night at Belushi's? 191 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,500 No. 192 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,100 Well, we went out a few times after that. 193 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:46,000 Anyway, two weeks ago, she asked me to look after her dog. 194 00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:50,400 So I go by her flat, and then I stick the dog in the trunk of my car. 195 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:53,600 - Why on earth did you do that? - It was a short trip. 196 00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:56,900 So, I get a fucking flat on the motorway 197 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,800 just as Ricky from The Office is driving by. 198 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,800 And he says "Hey, leave your car there, 199 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,800 "I'm going to Greece, why don't you come with me?" 200 00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:06,600 "Fuck yeah!" says I. 201 00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,900 Okay, so that was two weeks ago. 202 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,000 Oh, God. The car's still there. 203 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:15,000 - With the dog in it. - Yeah. 204 00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,200 - With the dog in... - Yeah, yeah, yeah! 205 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:21,200 I'm in Fuck City! Belinda's gonna skin me alive! 206 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:25,000 I don't know whether to puke or piss, but I gotta piss. 207 00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,600 Calm down. 208 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:30,700 Okay, what you did was stupid, cruel, and unusual, 209 00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:33,300 but it wasn't your fault. 210 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,700 Deliver this. Hold on! 211 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:41,700 - Wait for a reply. - All right. 212 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,600 Jesus. Kill that bug out of your ass. 213 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,800 Hey, Ken. Better out than in. 214 00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,700 Come on, man. Remember what I've told you. 215 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,500 Not bad, Wormwood, but you've got a weak left foot, and it always lets you down. 216 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,500 I'm a fool to myself, Sir Charles. 217 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,800 You really are. 218 00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:13,600 Oh, hello, Mr Rich. You look ill. 219 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:17,000 - I've seen better days, Your Highness. - That must be for me. 220 00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:25,400 Good God! 221 00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,700 I'm an animal lover, 222 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:30,100 but there's a black humour at the heart of this I just can't ignore. 223 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,700 - What say you, Wormwood? - Hell's bells. 224 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,300 Well, I hope Greece was worth it, mate. 225 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,300 Hey, how did you know I went to Greece? 226 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,500 Never mind that. 227 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,500 Listen, Wormwood. I'm slightly peckish. You couldn't just, uh... 228 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:43,600 Say no more, Master Highness. 229 00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:48,100 So, Mr Rich. Describe this dog to me. 230 00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:51,000 Well, he's a Scottish terrier, 231 00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:53,200 he's got little black eyes, 232 00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:56,400 a short tail, cute little ass. 233 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:57,800 Anything like that one? 234 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,900 Fuck me with a stick! Scruffy! 235 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,000 Well, that was quick, Wormwood. 236 00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:09,000 Now, Mr Rich, would you do me the honour of staying for supper? 237 00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:12,500 As you can see, there's no dogs on the menu. 238 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,000 Wow! 239 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:20,000 There may be no dogs, but there sure are a lot of hot bitches! 240 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,400 - Mr Rich. - Sorry. Can I still stay? 241 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:30,300 Of course. 242 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,200 Yeah! Let's party! 243 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,200 Hey, all right. 244 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:37,100 Let's get that thing off. 245 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,900 Let's get slaughtered. What? 246 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,000 Hey, I've got a third nipple. 247 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:53,800 Hi, how are you? 248 00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:56,100 Oh, been in the wars, it seems. 249 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,500 Yeah. Uh, I'm a bit sore. 250 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,600 I'm not violent. I'm really not. It was me that was beaten up, actually. 251 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,200 I didn't think you were violent, babe. 252 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:06,100 Too smart for anything like that, I should imagine. 253 00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:08,000 Well, I can't be that smart. 254 00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:11,300 Every time I come in this shop, I seem to... 255 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,400 Forget it. 256 00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,500 I quite like the bruise. It makes you look interesting, 257 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,900 yet with a kind of naive charm. 258 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,100 Really? No one's ever said anything like that before. 259 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,000 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sure you didn't come in here to chat to me. 260 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,500 - What did you want? - No, it's fine. 261 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,000 I came in to pick up some silver cowboy boots. 262 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,800 - Oh, so you're Matt. - Yeah. 263 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,400 I've got them here. 264 00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:39,300 I picked them up myself this morning. I think you'll look great in them. 265 00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:45,500 I've rolled with the punches 266 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,500 Graduated from the school of hard knocks 267 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:53,500 Seen the stars at the end of a fist 268 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:57,500 I tried to walk away but I couldn't resist 269 00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,800 But that was the way till now 270 00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:05,400 You put a spell on me and I don't know how 271 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:09,500 Something here is strange but I think I am in love 272 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:13,500 It's taken me some time I see heaven from above 273 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:17,400 As soon as you walked in I knew you were the one 274 00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:21,400 Well, I'm the only guy who can express himself in song 275 00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:25,200 I can't be in love if it's plastic 276 00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:29,100 To live on my own just seems tragic 277 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:33,100 But we'll raise ourselves high when our day comes 278 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:37,200 Here we have gold where we had bronze 279 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:07,900 Are you going to sing or what? 280 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,900 I can't, man! You broke my fucking nose. 281 00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:13,200 If I'm honest, I think you're making a fuss. 282 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:16,000 This won't stop bleeding. I gotta piss. 283 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,600 Come in. 284 00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,300 Come in! 285 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,300 Hey, be cool, man. I just came in to hang. 286 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,300 Sorry, uh... Matt Berry. 287 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,000 Yeah, it's great to meet you at last. 288 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:33,500 I've seen you a couple of times in The Body Shop, 289 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,400 but I didn't want to bother you. 290 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,900 It's all cool swing. 291 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,300 - You guys making a record? - Yes, but I keep losing my tempo. 292 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:42,900 Kind of harbours the output. 293 00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:47,200 Hi. I'm learning how to play the guitar 294 00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:50,500 so I can write my own songs without you hitting me. 295 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,600 - Cool, man. I'll give you lessons. - Oh, no thanks. 296 00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:58,000 Mrs Winkleman from the local church is teaching me. 297 00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:00,700 No offence, homeboy, but you could be shit, 298 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,500 and not know one end of this bastard from the next. 299 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,500 Mrs Winkleman, however, does. 300 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,300 - So you're turning him down? - What do you mean? 301 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,300 Just 'cause you don't like Winkleman... 302 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,900 That's Jimi Hendrix, you idiot! 303 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,800 - It's all cool, man. - So fucking what? 304 00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:20,100 Here, asshole, catch this. 305 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:23,200 I bet you can't play Kumbaya. 306 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,600 I knew it! 307 00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:31,200 The stupid asshole's playing it upside down. 308 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:34,100 Didn't you learn nothin' in the projects, bro? 309 00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:36,400 As soon as I said that, I knew I was wrong. 310 00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:38,000 I should have shown him more respect. 311 00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:41,400 What did you say to me? Huh? Show me some respect, motherfucker. 312 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,100 - Does this fat boy belong to you? - Yeah. He's not showing you respect 313 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,600 because he doesn't know who you are, okay? 314 00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:48,900 I think we should all take a cool tool. 315 00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:00,600 - Cool. - Cool. 316 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:16,500 It really was a truly memorable evening. 317 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,500 I was unconscious, he was naked, and the other guy was dead. 318 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:26,300 Now, 319 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,900 to call Andrew Lloyd Webber tight is an understatement. 320 00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:32,700 I've seen this bastard peel an orange in his pocket. 321 00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:48,200 Some say that Andrew Lloyd Webber's ego matches his bank balance. 322 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,800 Well, if that's the case, Andrew, when you go to the bar, make mine a double. 323 00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:56,500 This is going well. 324 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,000 There's no way he's going to ruin my joke this time. 325 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,500 No way in hell. 326 00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:06,900 I'm reminded of a joke. 327 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,900 How many composers does it take to change a light bulb? 328 00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:13,900 - How many? - I'll tell you, my friend. 329 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,600 The answer is five. 330 00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:41,900 Stick, stick, stick 331 00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:45,900 Got to be quick, quick, quick 332 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,100 Buy your kids a stick, stick, stick 333 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:54,500 You can use it like a sword or a knife or a fork 334 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:58,800 But you got to be quick, quick, quick 335 00:23:58,900 --> 00:24:00,600 #And buy your kids a stick 336 00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:04,600 Buy your kids a fucking stick. 337 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,800 I'm taking control 338 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:16,100 Of your body What? Yes! 339 00:24:16,100 --> 00:24:20,200 Well, bless my soul Oh! Shit! 340 00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:24,400 I'm so hungry Huh! Come on! 341 00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:28,400 Slowin' it down Yes! Ah! 342 00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:32,300 Touchin' it up Ooh, huh! 343 00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:36,400 You're makin' those sounds What? Uhh! 344 00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:40,300 The sounds of love Get! Out! 345 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:41,900 I'm taking control 346 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,100 Oh! 347 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,900 Of your body 348 00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:51,300 Well, bless my soul 349 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:54,300 I'm so hungry 350 00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:58,800 Smoothin' it down 351 00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:02,500 Feelin' it up 352 00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:07,000 You're makin' those sounds 353 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,500 The sounds of love 354 00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:14,000 Ooh 355 00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:20,800 #Just right 356 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,400 Fuck! 357 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:50,400 Fuck! 358 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:54,400 - Fuck! - Shit! 359 00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:58,400 - Fuck! - Shit! 360 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:02,400 - Fuck! - Shit! 361 00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:03,500 Horse piss! 362 00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:06,200 - Fuck! - Shit! 363 00:26:06,300 --> 00:26:07,400 Horse piss! 364 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,200 - Fuck! - Shit! 365 00:26:10,300 --> 00:26:13,100 - Horse piss! - Son of a two-balled bitch. 366 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:14,200 - Fuck! - Shit! 367 00:26:14,300 --> 00:26:15,400 Horse piss! 368 00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:17,300 - Son of a two-balled bitch. - Motherfucker. 369 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:18,400 - Fuck! - Shit! 370 00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:19,500 Horse piss! 371 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,300 - Son of a two-balled bitch. - Motherfucker. 372 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,400 - Fuck! - Shit! 373 00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:23,500 Horse piss! 374 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,300 - Son of a two-balled bitch. - Motherfucker. 375 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,400 - Fuck! - Shit! 376 00:26:26,500 --> 00:26:27,400 Horse piss! 377 00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:29,300 - Son of a two-balled bitch. - Motherfucker. 378 00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:30,300 - Fuck! - Shit! 379 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:31,400 Horse piss! 380 00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:32,900 - Son of a two-balled bitch. - Motherfucker. 381 00:26:32,900 --> 00:26:36,800 I can't be in love if it's plastic 382 00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:41,400 To live on my own just seems tragic 383 00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:45,100 We'll raise our swords high when our day comes 384 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,800 We thought it was gold but it was bronze 385 00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:51,100 So get me in time 386 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:52,800 When our day comes 387 00:26:52,900 --> 00:26:57,300 You thought it was gold but it was bronze 388 00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:58,500 Get here in time 389 00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:00,900 When our day comes 390 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:05,200 You thought it was gold but it was bronze 391 00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:06,400 - Fuck! - Shit! 392 00:27:06,500 --> 00:27:07,400 Horse piss! 393 00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:09,300 - Son of a two-balled bitch. - Motherfucker. 394 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:10,400 - Fuck! - Shit! 395 00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:11,400 Horse piss! 396 00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:13,400 - Son of a two-balled bitch. - Motherfucker. 397 00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:14,500 - Fuck! - Shit! 398 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,300 - Horse piss! - Son of a two-balled bitch. 399 00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:19,800 In the Snuff Box next time... 400 00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:21,800 Dancing bears, 401 00:27:21,900 --> 00:27:25,700 turbans, explosives, and snuff. 402 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,600 This is a snuff box. 403 00:27:27,700 --> 00:27:31,900 So if I should die of smallpox 404 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:36,100 Put my remains in my snuff box 405 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:40,600 If I should die of smallpox 406 00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:45,000 Put my remains in my snuffbox 30340

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