All language subtitles for Home Improvement - 08x10 - Thanks, but No Thanks.DVD-Rip.English.edit.Addic7ed.com

Good morning, Mr. Taylor.

How are you enjoying
sleeping in Harry's back room?

No windows, no air, no heat...

- No charge.
- No complaints.

You know, that's where I sleep

when I tell Dolores
I'm visiting my sister.

- I didn't know you had a sister.
- I don't.

I won't be staying long.

I just need a little time
to put some things together,

then, I'm back on my feet.

(VEHICLE PULLING UP)

Oh, man. It's my brother.

Hey, remember, not a word to him
about me staying back there.

Why do you guys
always act like I'm a moron?

I'll explain later
when I have time to talk really slow.

Good morning, guys. Hey, Marty.

Hey, Tim. Can't talk. New job.
Gotta go!

TIM: Call me later!

What's his new job?

He's working down at Stu's Fish Market
deveining shrimp.

- Why's his hair all wet?
- Sometimes they fight back.

No, no, no.

He's helping me test out some of those
new high-powered shower heads.

The Binford 6100.

(GRUNTING) Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's a great thing.

You switch it over to pulse,
it'll blow the hair right off your legs.

Oh, by the way, Harry, when do you
want me for Thanksgiving?

I don't want you at all, but if you have
to be there, be there at 2:00.

Great. I'll bum a ride with Marty.

Marty? Marty's taking his family
to your house for Thanksgiving?

No, just Marty.
Dolores frightens the children.

Wait a minute. Our family
always spends Thanksgiving together.

Now Marty's going to your house
for Thanksgiving.

He's taking a shower
in the hardware store.

- Guys, what's up?
- I'm not at liberty to say.

There's a donut in it for you.

Marty and Nancy split up
and Marty's sleeping at the store.

I knew they were having trouble,
but how did it come to this?

Well, in my view, Nancy projected
repressed paternal conflicts

onto the relationship,

while Marty was still grappling
with intimacy issues.

You watch too much Oprah.

Why is he telling Benny this stuff
and not me?

Because Marty feels like
he's hit rock bottom.

Then, when he sees Benny,

he remembers what rock bottom
really looks like.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Sending a Thanksgiving meal
to Randy in Costa Rica.

He can run, but he just can't hide.

I didn't cook it, I bought it.

Well, then, he really has something
to be thankful for.

Very funny.

- How was your day?
- Not so good.

Did you know that Marty is
sleeping at the hardware store?

So you're jealous
Harry didn't ask you first?

I'm serious.
He and Nancy have split up.

- Oh, no. What did he say?
- I had to learn this from Benny.

Why wouldn't Marty
bring this information to me?

Well, he's afraid
you're gonna criticize him.

Remember the last time
when Marty and Nancy were fighting?

- I was totally supportive.
- You called him a gutless loser.

In a very supportive way.

Honey, if you want to help your brother,
you're gonna have to realize

this is gonna be
a very tough time for him.

You have to bend over backwards.
You have to be supportive.

You have to be non-judgmental.

I gotta be supportive
and non-judgmental,

but he gets to stay in a hardware store.
Where's the justice in that?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

- Hey, Tim.
- Hey, Marty.

Glad you're open.

Now I don't have to go downtown
to score that bag of wood screws.

Yeah.

Harry's been looking
for a night watchman, you know?

And, I mean,
I'm just kind of giving him a hand.

Intimidating uniform.

You should've seen me
before I put the shorts on.

I know about you and Nancy.

Benny sold you out.

- Free sandwich?
- Fresh donut.

Is there any way
you guys can work this out?

I don't think so.

You know, we went into counseling
to try to fix the marriage,

but, well, we both realized
we were just looking for a way out.

This is gonna be really hard
on you and the kids.

Marriage hasn't worked for a long time.

She thought
I didn't make enough money.

She said I wasn't ambitious enough.

- Come on, Marty. That's ridiculous.
- I know.

I mean, I think I do pretty good
for myself. Don't you?

Yeah.

Well, you're young, you're smart,
you're talented, you're...

Eating peanut butter with a putty knife.

But you got great legs.

Have you had a chance
to talk to the girls?

Oh, a little bit, you know.

I mean, Nancy gets them one week.
I'm supposed to get them the next.

- Obviously, I can't bring them here.
- Why didn't you just call me?

- You could've stayed at my place.
- No. I didn't want to impose.

You're not imposing. You're family.

You know, with Randy out of
the country, we got a spare room.

- I mean, you could stay there right now.
- That'd be great.

Yeah, and when you get the girls,
they can stay there, too.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- You think Jill will be okay with it?
- Yeah, sure.

There's nothing more important to Jill
than family.

And we want you to spend
Thanksgiving with us at Mom's.

But you've got to put some pants on.

You guys are the best.

- Well, I'll meet you at my house.
- Thanks, man.

You bet.

But it must be great spending the night
with all these tools, huh?

Waking up with the fresh smell
of solvents.

(SIGHS) A rack of ball cocks.

But why dream, you know?
Jill's never gonna toss me out.

- Hi, guys.
- Oh, hi.

- Oh, that smells great.
- Well, thank you.

Well, I'll have you know,
I talked to Marty. I was very supportive.

I told him we'd do anything we could
to help him.

- I knew you had it in you.
- You'd be real proud of me.

I reminded him that he's family and
he might as well just stay at our house.

- You told Marty that he could live here?
- With us?

Well, just until he gets steady work
and gets back on his feet.

When was the last time
Uncle Marty had a steady job?

I don't even think we were born yet.

Hey, hey. He's got a great job now.
He's gonna be huge in shrimp.

I don't think it's a big problem
to have another person here.

He could sleep in Randy's room.

Well, actually, it might be better
if he stayed in Brad's room.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Wait, wait. My room?

Well, because the girls would like
to be close to their father

and they'd have to stay in Mark's room.

- My room?
- The girls?

Well, he gets the girls
every other week,

so I said that they could stay here, too.

- Okay. Where am I supposed to sleep?
- Randy's room.

- And where am I supposed to sleep?
- Randy's room.

Wait, wait, wait.
Don't we get any say in this?

Brad, Marty is family.

When family's in trouble,
we gotta pull together.

Dad, I'm family. Okay?

And I don't like the thought
of sleeping in a room with Mark.

You think you got it bad,
I gotta stay with you.

Yeah.

Guys, look, just let me talk
to your dad for a minute, okay?

- Yeah, this really sucks.
- Don't talk to your father like that.

This really sucks!

You know, I love those girls
and I love Marty,

but how could you invite three people
to live here without even talking to me?

- Without talking to the boys?
- I couldn't help it. It just happened.

You said, "Bend over backwards."

Well, if I bend over
any further backwards,

I'm gonna be staring myself in the butt.

I was just trying to be sensitive.

Well, you have to be sensitive
to us, too. This is an enormous change.

Three people moving in with us,
turning our lives upside down.

- We can handle this.
- No, "We"?

When it comes to handling
things like this, "we" means "me."

Honey, that's just with our children.

I can't agree to this
until we work out the details.

- I've worked out all the details.
- Really? Really?

Okay, who is gonna watch those girls
when Marty is working?

Don't know.

Are the boys gonna get to
move back in their rooms

- when the girls aren't here?
- Don't know.

Do you even know
when they're gonna be moving in?

(DOORBELL RINGS)

No way. We're not ready for... Tim!

- Hey.
- Hi, Uncle Tim.

Hi, guys.

Here you go, Mark.
Until Dad puts in the bunk bed,

I'm lending you my good sleeping bag.

In other words, you get the bed.

Yeah, of course.
The older brother always gets the bed.

- That's not fair.
- Okay.

Stronger brother, better looking
brother. Hey, I've got a million of them.

Yeah? Well, I'm smarter.

Then how come you're sleeping
on the floor?

Man, I still can't believe Mom and Dad
are kicking us out of our own rooms.

I know. Just because
Uncle Marty's life is messed up

doesn't mean ours has to be.
We should stand up for our rights.

- Hey, guys, I want to say something.
- Wait. Let me guess.

You've got the cats moving in,
too, right?

No. Actually, I want to say thanks.

I know you gotta hate
being shuffled around.

I just... I really appreciate
you putting up with us.

Well...

Other families,
kids might not be so understanding.

Yeah, we're just givers.

- So does that mean I get the bed?
- No fricking way.

- Daddy.
- Well, honey, what are you doing?

- Why'd you get up?
- I had a bad dream.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

You want me to come up
and read you a story?

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Good night, Brad.
- Good night, Claire.

- Good night, Mark.
- Good night.

Come on.

Well, I think we made a statement.

Girls, how come
you're not eating your pancakes?

- They're not like Mom's.
- I used the same recipe as Mom.

How come they don't taste the same?

Look, I don't have time for this, okay?

It doesn't matter
if they don't taste the same.

You gotta eat them anyway, okay?

Besides, your dad forgot
the secret ingredient

he always puts on pancakes,
remember?

Chocolate chips. Makes
starchy little animals. Look at that.

You got the dalmatians, huh?
Look at this. What do you got there?

Oh, it's an alien with zits. Look at that.

- Cool.
- Thanks, Uncle Tim.

- Thanks, man. You're a lifesaver.
- You bet.

Okay. Kids, I gotta go to work.

- I'll see you later, okay?
- What are you doing today?

Tim got me some handyman work
in Ferndale.

Hey, you sure you don't mind
driving the girls to school?

- No, it's fine. It's fine.
- Okay, thanks.

Okay.

- Oh, man. I forgot to make their lunch.
- Got up early. I made it myself.

I knew just what they wanted.

You got the Spam
and squid sandwiches, right?

You guys are unbelievable.

- I mean, how am I gonna repay you?
- Your watch.

- Go on. Go on.
- Have a good day, Marty.

I am so impressed with you.

I've been working with chocolate chips
for years.

Here I thought I was gonna have to do
all the work,

- and you're just taking charge.
- I love taking charge.

Mommy used to kiss Daddy like that.

Well, she doesn't do it very often.

- I thought that was a children's book.
- No.

The Secret Garden
is a children's book.

You had My Secret Garden.

I don't even want you to read that book.

- Hi, guys.
- TIM: Marty.

- JILL: Hey, Marty. You want some pie?
- Yeah, thanks. Sorry I'm late.

I was working overtime.
Girls give you any trouble?

- No.
- No. They were angels.

- I helped them with their homework.
- Then I corrected it.

Then we put them to bed.

Sounds like
you guys didn't miss a beat.

Listen, I'm gonna go upstairs.

They can never seem to fall asleep
unless I read them a story first.

- Already done.
- They're sound asleep. I'm sorry.

Oh, no, no. That's great.

I ended up reading them
the Al Unser story.

Now let's talk
about the inside of your house.

Let's say you have an interior wall

that you want to spruce up,
make it a little more fun.

That's right. If you want to cover
a dull, unattractive surface,

sponge painting is a great option.

Or you can grow a beard.

To begin with, all you actually need
is a latex paint-glaze mix,

- a sea sponge.
- See? Sponge.

It's a fun project the kids would enjoy
trying to spruce up their own rooms.

And to show you how much fun
it would be for children,

I invited two kids on the show today.

My nieces, Claire and Gracie Taylor.

- Okay, girls. Are you ready to paint?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- All right, before we do that,

I want you to look into the camera
and tell the audience out there

what Uncle Tim says
whenever he starts a project.

- "Ow, that hurts"?
- Come on. What's he say?

"Call 911"?

(TIM MOANS)

- What did I say backstage?
- "Al, your mom's fat."

- You girls are doing a great job.
- Thanks, Al.

And I don't think your mom's fat.

Harry, you got some joint compound?

- Come look. Your girls are on TV.
- You're kidding.

- TIM: Well, girls, I love your work.
- Boy, Tim is great with those kids.

Yeah. He sure is.

Hey, if Marty's not coming
to your house for Thanksgiving,

- who's gonna give me a ride?
- I'll have my sister pick you up.

We're losing him. We're losing him.

Run towards the honey pot.
Come on. Come on.

Wake up. You got so much to live for!

Don't choke him, shock him!

Oh, good idea.

Clear.

(MAKING BUZZING NOISE)

Do you have an eight?

I win. You're the old maid.

I hate that term. It is so old-fashioned.

You know, women today
don't need to be with men

to feel completely fulfilled.

You're just mad because you lost.

- TIM: Hey, Marty.
- Daddy.

Hi. Come here.

Hey, can you two kids go upstairs
for a minute?

I need to talk to your Uncle Tim
and Aunt Jill.

- Okay.
- Go on.

So what's going on?

Well, first I want to say thanks
for everything.

But we don't want to impose anymore.

I'm gonna move the girls
back in with their mom.

You don't have to do that.
We love having you here.

We don't want to overstay
our welcome.

- You're not overstaying your welcome.
- Well, I think it's a problem.

- Really, it's not a problem.
- Yeah, but it is with me, okay?

So I'm gonna go upstairs
and I'm gonna pack their bags.

Marty, you don't have
anyplace else to go.

Well, then, I'll figure something out.

What's that all about?

Well, obviously something about them
being here is bothering him.

Well, I don't want to figure it out.
I bent over backwards for him.

I've been sensitive.
I've changed my whole personality.

And we were all very grateful for that.

I'm worried about the girls.
How are they gonna feel?

You know, about having to
move out of here so suddenly?

- I think you should go talk to Marty.
- I'm tired of fixing things for him.

And I'm tired of talking with him.

What are you gonna say to him
at Thanksgiving at your mom's?

What I say every year.

"You touch that drumstick,
you're gonna lose a hand."

Happy Thanksgiving, Marty.

- Yeah. You, too, Tim.
- We missed you at Mom's,

so she made you a little care package.

Oh, thanks. I already have some.

I hope you got the one with the
dehydrated pumpkin pie. Good.

The way you ran out of my house,
I didn't even want to come talk to you,

but Mom said it's Thanksgiving
and we should just clear the air.

Look, I'm not really comfortable
talking about this, okay?

Oh, yeah, right.
Like I'm real comfortable

talking about another man's feelings.

- What's going on with you?
- There's nothing going on with me.

Okay? That's the point.
I work 60 hours a week,

all I got to show for it is a case
of shrimp forks.

You're going through
a rough stretch, that's all.

I've been going through a rough stretch
for 33 years.

I mean, come on,

I've worked with so many jerks
over the years,

I'm lucky I don't have a
chip on my shoulder.

You've probably got your hands full
with that bug up your butt.

Okay, so I'm a little bitter.

I mean, it's easy for you to say.

- You've always been successful.
- Easy for me to say?

Martin, how about when Dad died?

Was it easy for me
taking care of everybody?

How about working two jobs
to get through college?

How about raising three kids
on a junior salesman's salary, huh?

Oh, well. Obviously,
you can handle it and I can't!

That's not what I was saying.

No, you're more successful
at your marriage!

I wasn't saying that, Marty!

- You're more successful at your career.
- Marty.

Now I find out you're better
at raising my kids.

Is that what this is about, Marty?

Come on, it's always easier
raising somebody else's kids.

You know, when Claire and Gracie
see you and Nancy,

they see a couple in pain.

When they see me and Jill,
they see a guy

shocking the stuffing out of
a teddy bear

and a bitter old maid.

Nancy was right. You know,
I'm never gonna get back on my feet.

I'm just gonna go from one stupid job
to the next.

They're not stupid jobs when you're
using the money to support your family.

You should be proud of that.

That's a time when a lot of guys
just cut and run.

You're facing responsibilities.

That's something to be admired.
And I admire that.

Come on. Let's eat something.

Mom made a nice plate for you.

- You brought the drumstick.
- That's right, and the wing for you.

You're right.
Your house is freezing cold.

Well, I think the pilot light went off
in my furnace.

Would you mind going down
in the basement and taking a look?

Well, yeah, but, you know,
you can do this yourself.

WILSON: Well, I don't like to go
down there. It's big and it's damp.

- The place gives me the creeps.
- TIM: Love basements. Love the creeps.

There it is, Wilson!
I found your furnace!

You got a light down here
or something?

There should be a pull chain
right over the furnace.

TIM: Interesting.

You know, Wilson, if you were
to drop the ceiling just a scosh,

you'd have a heck of a rec room
down here.

Foosball table, ping-pong,
the whole nine yards.

Mommy used to kiss Daddy like that.

And look what happened to them.

Guys, let me just... Let me just talk
to your dad for a minute, okay?

(GIGGLING)