Original subtitles

So, Jackie helps us get in undetected?

Don't get involved with her, babe. She is not worth it.

I'm leaving, Craig. Leaving? Leaving me?

Let's see how you work under real pressure. Sharpen the mind.

Nothing can just be mine, can it? Not even finding my daughter.

I wanna be more involved.

We need another capable pair of hands.

I would really like for us to work together.

I just wanted you to be you, whatever you turned out to be.

Can we not talk about the cancer? I just wanna enjoy my time with you.

Take care, OK?

I was gonna keep it, but give it to Maria.

It's worth more than I owe her. I'm worried you have a short memory.

'You promised to cut me in on something big.'

Shit! What're you doing? You haven't got cancer.

You faked it.

Is there anything else I need to know? Nothing.

Brownie's honour.

♪ Ese amor llega asi De esta manera

♪ No tiene la culpa

♪ Amor de compra y venta

♪ Amor de en el pasado

♪ Bem-bem-bem, bem-bem-bem Bem-bem-bem

♪ Bem, bem-bem-bem, bem-bem-bem

♪ Bamboleio, bamboleia... ♪

CROWD GASPS

♪ Bamboleio, bamboleia

♪ Porque mi vida Yo la prefiero vivir asi. ♪

You OK?

Do you want me to come and see the doctor with you?

No, I'm fine.

CAR DOOR SLAMS

PHONE BUZZES

Oh! I'd forget my head...

Cheers. OK.

'Dr Lopez, oncologia.'

Hi. Erm...

So, spontaneous remission.

You know, when the cancer just kind of disappears.

You ever heard of that?

No. I'm just gonna...

Ah.

MARIA CHUCKLES Maria!

How do I look out of my prison duds?

Why keep this up?

You're out now, no-one thinks you're a threat.

I had to keep someone invested.

You don't understand, she's my oldest friend.

I had to get her to want to spend some time with me.

The less I know about what you do on the outside, the better.

I do need paying.

What? You've been paid!

From Blas. I gave him a watch to give you.

What watch? There's been no watch.

SIGHS

OVER TV, IN SPANISH:

'Painted in 1937,

'Guernica is one of the highest-profile paintings

'to have been attacked in this latest spate of...'

Have you heard?

We've got a big problem. Yeah.

It'll be crawling with security.

Have you seen this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's right next door to the Masturbator. Just focus!

Come on, it's impossible. So, what do we actually know?

Well, that the place is in total lockdown

and half of Spain's press are camped outside.

That'll only be the case for a couple of days.

When the Mona Lisa were nicked in 1911,

people came to stare at the space on the wall.

They'd never had so many visitors. PHONE BUZZES

Well, let's deal with the facts.

We know that, due to the size of the painting...

It's bloody massive. So it won't be removed.

It'll be restored in situ.

Yeah, and most of the work will be done at night.

With a restoration team in there around the clock

and more security, that rules out going at night.

There's no way we can go unnoticed. I mean, we'll just be seen.

So, what? We push the job? No, we can't.

Celine's given us a deadline. What, then?

We go in during the day

and steal the painting in front of all of those people?

That's impossible.

Yeah, we're not gonna do anything that puts you in any danger.

OK, we come up with a plan, and we execute it.

PHONE BUZZES

Craig, do fuck off.

Why did you do that? He needs to leave you alone.

Jackie, you need to come up with a plan to get the painting

in and out during the day.

Yeah, I'm already on it. You don't have to worry about me.

Can you two guarantee that you're not gonna go rogue?

Nobody's going rogue.

Get some rest. Tomorrow will be a big day.

Do you really think we can pull this off in a crowded gallery?

The security guard... at the prison.

Yeah? I sort of kept in touch with him.

I didn't say anything cos obviously I didn't see it going anywhere,

but now we've got a requirement for an inside man at the museum.

And you trust him?

Trust is a relative concept,

but there's never been a man that, between us, we couldn't handle.

Well, let's go see him.

You know Caitlin's part of the team.

She doesn't need special treatment.

I'll be the judge of how I treat Caitlin.

SHOP DOOR BELL RINGS Buenas.

Buenos Dias.

Muy bien.

SHOP DOOR BELL RINGS, DOOR SLAMS

I'm in contact with a journalist who's reporting at the museum.

Convinced him I'm an editor at El Mundo, promised him an exclusive.

He can feed me the details of what's changing on the ground. Oh, great!

I'm worried.

Please, that's the last thing I want.

Part of the job is rolling with the punches.

No, I'm worried about you. And Bert. It's just...

When you're together,

it's just this thing with the two of you.

Well, we were best friends for years.

We're about to do a massive job.

I can't end up in prison like Bert did.

You won't. How can you know that?

Because I'm in charge, and I wasn't when she was arrested.

What actually happened?

There was this job.

Taking something from a safe for a client.

And it... caused a whole load of trouble.

Two guys who'd happily worked the same area started a turf war,

and Bert ended up on the wrong side.

It was a mess. People got hurt.

A turf war?

You were involved in this job?

Look, we were both arrested, but...

Bert kept me in the dark on a lot of it.

She took the wrap because it was her wrap to take.

That can't happen this time.

It won't. Whatever happens, you can trust me.

I'm running this, I'm managing Bert, and we are rebuilding the plan.

You have to understand. I will always have your back.

I'm in charge this time, and you are my priority.

And that means a lot.

ON PHONE, IN SPANISH:

PHONE BUZZES

ON PHONE, IN SPANISH:

Hope your mate plays ball.

Bert? Mm-hm?

What the...?

What you looking at?

I'm not sure.

You think that car's following us? I don't know.

Well, let's not find out.

TYRES SCREECH

Can you lose him? No.

CAR HORN BLASTS Jesus.

Who is that? I don't know.

Fuck this.

Oi! You could've killed us, you knob.

Celine needs to see you. Now. How the fuck d'you even find us?

Follow me.

Shit.

Guernica.

The minute you heard about that, I should have had a phone call

telling me you know there's a spanner in the works,

but you are moving hell and high water to sort it.

Yeah, we are.

We didn't wanna come to you with a half-baked idea.

Well, thank fuck for that.

You got a back-up plan? Yep.

Do I need one?

Because the buyer is breathing up my arse,

and I am holding her off, but she is not to be messed with.

The buyer? That's not you? No, that's fucking not me.

But I am the one with all the exposure if this goes tits akimbo,

so don't be slacking off.

We've got a lot at stake.

We need this to work as much as you do.

OK, so we're in agreement...

...that just because some yoghurt knitter lobs paint

around a museum, we are not gonna let anything slip.

And by we, I mean you. Your delivery date remains the same.

We just need to redesign the acquisition. OK.

Well, you come back to me

with a nailed-on plan of what you're gonna do, OK?

Right. You're done. Get the fuck out.

Unless you're in any way handy with a bucket of Star Drops.

You'd be amazed, the amount of piss you have to deal with in this place.

WATER SLOSHES Oh, fuck sake.

We just told a lunatic we have a plan.

Yep. And our gang thinks we have a plan.

Yeah... We need a plan, don't we?

We've got to stop seeing the crowds as a problem

and start seeing them as a solution.

That's all I've got. Sorry.

THEY LAUGH That's beautiful!

PHONE BUZZES

SIGHS

METAL TOOL CLATTERS

Sorry. Just a bit on edge.

Didn't mean to startle you.

Are you OK?

Yeah, thanks. Here y'are, put those on there.

Just come and grab this for me.

Pinch it.

Very good.

We might be missing a trick, you know.

I was just thinking about

how does a woman get in and out of somewhere

without getting noticed?

Like?

Well... if you're an older woman...

LAUGHS

...no-one takes a blind bit of notice.

You could take the crown jewels off the King's head,

and the courtiers would be like, "Oh, is there a breeze?"

And we can use that invisibility to our advantage.

PHONE BUZZES

Your husband?

I've done the same thing for 30 years.

I'm not going back to it. That bad?

Yeah.

What did you mean about Sam and Bert going rogue?

When it's good...

...they're the best in the world.

But when it's not, it's...

What?

It's toxic.

I know you want a relationship with your mum, Caitlin,

and you can have that.

But you can't get in between them...

...because it's a game.

They don't think it is...

but it is.

I just... I just really need this.

Me too, darling.

Cheers. BOTTLES CLINK

There, he's at the back.

Hey. Pleased to meet you.

Martha Samuels, Sam to my friends.

Well, "Sam to my friends"...

...you're late.

Yeah, I know, we're really sorry.

We had something important to attend to.

Not a hospital thing? No.

A make-us-a-lot-of-money thing.

Look, we've said we're sorry for being late.

Come on. Please, stay. We'll get you another drink.

Yeah. Please, stay. Look, we need you.

I'm going to need an advance.

We can get you 5,000 before the end of the week.

The rest is payable when the job's finished.

Doesn't work for me.

You know, I bet she still hasn't told you.

About Isabella... her cell-mate.

What? The person she got the idea for the job from?

You're not worried about her finding out?

She won't find out, will she?

Go on, tell me more.

Hola. Hola.

Are the police on to me? Are they on to us?

This is getting out of hand. It's too risky. I'm done.

Calm down!

You need to go inside and finish the painting, and then you can go home.

OK? You just need to trust them.

Oh, they can't even trust each other.

I saw them battering each other in the pool, proper fist fight.

Bloody wild animals, the pair of them.

OK.

Just breathe through your nose, OK? HE INHALES

Yeah. HE EXHALES

Keep breathing.

Look, we're looking for someone who works in security,

with an unblemished record, who can get a job at the Reina Sofia

and feed us information about their new security.

She's cute, right? Oh, yeah, she's cute.

But if you keep trying her, she'll pull your arm off

and shove it up your arse. Oh!

Here's the deal.

We'll pay you 100,000 euros on completion of the job.

And what is it exactly you're taking from the Reina Sofia?

Muy bien.

Three hundred.

Two hundred. Are you in or are you out?

I'm in. BERT CHUCKLES

BERT AND SAM LAUGH

Everything OK?

Mm-mm.

Your painter is having a meltdown.

What?

A policeman came round earlier.

To talk to me? No, to talk to Bert.

I got rid of him.

What did he say? He said it was a routine check,

and I told him that Bert was very sick

and she had a hospital appointment to attend to.

OK, good. Er...

...let's not bother her with this.

Don't take the piss, Bilal.

We did a full kidnap and rescue on you.

So how about you finish the job I've employed you to do.

Now you take your balls, get back to that easel, crack on.

All right?

And cheer up.

PHONE BUZZES

Blas?

All right. Thanks for letting me know.

He's got an interview tomorrow at the museum.

He'll talk his way into that.

They're desperate, and he's absolutely bubbling.

Great. When he's in, let's get to Madrid.

We'll assess the crowds, be in the space.

I'll come too. No, you stay here.

Yeah, it's far more useful if you stay here

and keep your eye on Bilal and Jackie.

Look... she needs this.

We don't know how long she has.

You hold the fort here.

We can have all the time in the world together when this is done.

So, we need a new plan. And the night is completely out.

That means we have to go in during the day

and use the crowds to our advantage.

The good news is the painting's on track for being finished in a week,

which gives us ample time for any last-minute adjustments.

Jackie's designing a rig to get the fake in, ready for the swap.

Working on making it as fast as possible,

using disruptors to block the magnetic locks.

What we don't have is a diversion.

How do we control the crowd?

We don't know yet, but hopefully our inside man will give us access

to security and the museum cameras.

We still need an exit strategy, but Caitlin's nicked a van.

We'll get access to the loading bay, and we'll go in as service workers.

So, that's half a plan.

What do you think?

I'd say we're getting there, but a lot to work out.

Buckle up, buttercup, and pack your knickers.

We are off to Madrid.

♪ I know the score Like the back of my hand

♪ Them other boys I don't give a damn

♪ They kiss on the ring I carry the crown

♪ Nothing can break Nothing can break me down

♪ Don't need no advice, I got a plan

♪ I know the direction The lay of the land

♪ I know the score Like the back of my hand

♪ N-N-Nothing can break N-Nothing can break me down

♪ I'm the man, come round

♪ And n-n-nothing can break You can't break me down

♪ I got gas in the tank I got money in the bank

♪ I got news for you baby You're looking at the man... ♪

The Masturbator is on a list of paintings

which have been given 24/7 one-to-one security.

Government's orders.

As the Guernica room is closed, the Masturbator has the most footfall.

Well, I'll be honest, if I had a masturbator room,

that'd get a lot of footfall an' all.

Maximum numbers?

Nothing official, but if it feels like it's getting crowded,

we can stop people entering.

'Doesn't help the Guernica is in the same space,

'the rooms are interconnected, and there are a lot more visitors.'

This is all sounding pretty hard to get around.

No, no, no. We can use some of this to our advantage.

If something else gets disturbed,

we can use the chaos that ensues to pull focus away from us.

'True, but you don't want to end up in a locked-down gallery.'

Good point. Pluses and minuses.

Minus... a lot more security.

Plus... a lot of them are new.

Minus... everyone's on high alert.

Plus... when people are on high alert,

they get easily distracted and spooked.

Especially with the restoration. Are all of the exhibits alarmed?

'Everything in the permanent collection.

'The temporary collection, no. They're just tagged.'

So, that's a weak spot. Let's see if it could be useful.

We'll need a distraction to move the crowds.

Something big to get people away from the Masturbator room.

It's just beautiful, that's all.

Want to play a game? What?

God, your waters!

Oh, my God! Help!

It's... It's my waters. I'm pregnant. But I'm, uh...

I don't... I don't speak, um... CONCERNED CHATTER

Yeah, I may need to call my doctor. Uh... OK... Uh...

Come on, hurry up! Why did you leave?

I had to style it out and say I'd just pissed myself.

Just trying a proof of concept. What?

Wanted to see what we could achieve when no-one is paying attention.

What? Turn around.

For you.

Can we go somewhere on the way home?

BANGING

Hang on!

What do you want, Craig?

Old dog, new trick?

Or have you taken up art in your menopause?

HE LAUGHS

AIR GUN HISSES

What do you want, Craigy?

For you to give your head a shake and come home.

No, I can't. Can't?

I won't, actually.

Not this time.

All I've ever done... is look out for you, Jackie.

No-one will ever love you like me.

Komet, Craig.

She's a kid.

And you're a show.

You owe me, Jackie.

I don't owe you anything, and I don't want anything.

Who brought you to Spain?

Me.

I brought me to Spain. Oh, you've got a short memory.

I've got a long one, unfortunately.

I made The Great Diavolo, Craig. Not you.

Do you really believe that?

You're the wind beneath my wings? Is that what you think?

I mean, if you wanna put it like that.

Don't let your head get turned now.

Do you believe that you're bigger than this?

Think yourself lucky that you're here at all.

Why do you have to make me feel so small?

I can't make you feel anything, Jack.

You're just responding to what I say because it's true.

I am just a realist,

and I know that whatever you're up to now

will just be a flash in the pan, and you'll wake up

and know that you need me.

So, let's just save us the trouble and just do it now, 'ey?

No.

I don't want anything from you.

I don't want anything to do with you.

You need to get back on that stage, Jackie.

SIGHS

I can't believe it's still standing.

It was so green when we came.

It must all have been burnt to the ground.

Don't recognise it, do you? No.

Come on.

Oh, my God!

SAM GASPS

You carved that in. We went to that fiesta in San Pedro.

Yeah. And that Ferris wheel was completely unsafe,

and we screamed at the guy to let us off, and he wouldn't.

So when we did, we just jammed his engine so it wouldn't stop.

He went nuts.

And we pegged it past him on your moped.

It was like a hairdryer on wheels, that thing!

So, is this where you... you wanna...

SIGHS

Yeah.

You know I...

Like... over the years, I've been...

And you were...

It was a lot. And, erm...

It was just... I was... You were brilliant.

You were mental...

...and you were a fucking nightmare.

But you were fierce...

and you were loyal.

And you were just... just ace.

And if you'd been given a bit of love and opportunity,

you could've ruled the world.

And this job, Bert, this...

Well, this is you putting it right.

Yeah?

You're the only friend I've ever had.

Same.

I'm sorry.

You've got nothing to be sorry for.

Nothing.

POLICE SPEAK IN SPANISH, SAM SHOUTS

HANDCUFFS CLICK

Fu...

DOOR BUZZES

Sam.

You've been really brave.

Help her with the wire.

Your decision to contact us has been key to our investigation.

Hey, look at me. You should be proud of yourself.

You've got a clean record, and you can put this behind you.

Yeah? You can start again.

Fuck. Fuck.

Oi, oi!

Thought I'd swing by. How's the exit plan going?

Hm. Need anything?

Yeah, I do actually. Can you go the hardware store for me?

Ask them for a long stand.

THEY LAUGH

Is it taking longer than you thought?

Getting the canvas off the wall is one thing, but stealing a Dali

in broad daylight is something else.

If I can get the swap down to 30 seconds,

we're in with a chance.

But I need to finish off this rig.

Craig leaving you alone?

Mm. Yeah.

It's hard, though. Why?

Because he does this thing where he can just convince me black is white.

He's a gaslighting, narcissistic prick,

and the only thing he's good for is being a magician.

Not even good at that, is he?

Do you remember that time he let all those rabbits go,

and they were hopping all over the stage?

And then that woman stood up and said,

"I'm not staying here, Colin. No, it's absolutely dogshit."

Do you remember? Yeah.

Well, I took over the reins after that.

Yeah, but you still let him have his name above the door.

Just saying.

Right, I'm going into town.

I'm gonna see the comms guys cos we need new earpieces.

Bert. Hm?

Thank you.

What're you being weird for? The Great Diavolo!

More like The Great Dickhead! SHE LAUGHS

I'll see you later.

BOX LID CREAKS

Having a smart laugh with your friend, are you? What?

I am your husband.

And them rabbits were duds, by the way.

The police came to my house looking for Bert.

You promised me I'd be anonymous. You are.

As long as she's not got you involved in anything,

you don't need to worry about that.

Viros, I need to know this has nothing to do with me.

It was probably a routine house-to-house.

But, look, Sam, I will call my old partner on the force

and see what I can find out.

But if they seriously needed her for something,

they would have stuck around, OK?

You're worrying unnecessarily, trust me.

'Sam and Bert?'

A Dali painting? Theft?

It's nothing. How much they paying you?

A fortune?

A small fortune.

Come back to me.

Let's get out of here.

Let's set our sights on Vegas.

Me and you.

OK. It's like that, is it?

Well, maybe I'll just phone the police, then.

PHONE KEYPAD BEEPS

'Cual es su emergencia?'

Policia, por favor. Stop.

Just stop, Craig.

I-I'll split it with you.

Split what? How much are they paying?

POLICE, ON PHONE: 'Policia, como podemos ayudar?

'Hola?' Come back to work.

Do your little side hustle, and we'll sort the split out later.

Jackie? OK!

I'll come back.

That's the spirit.

LUIS, IN SPANISH:

Hey! Hey!

Madrid good? Yeah.

Yeah, it was useful. Thanks for understanding.

I feel like you're keeping things from me.

I'm not. I... I promise.

Don't get me wrong, I love seeing you with her.

I think she makes you feel alive,

and I feel more part of it than ever when we're all together, and it's...

it's really exciting.

I just don't want to be on the outside, not with you.

Understood. We're in this together.

Do you want me to talk you through the new plan?

Yeah! Right.

RINGING TONE

'You've reached Jackie, leave a...'

TOILET FLUSHES

Hey! Hey! SHOUTS IN SPANISH

POLICE OFFICER SHOUTS IN SPANISH

SHOUTS IN SPANISH

DISTANT CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Jesus. RINGING TONE

'You've reached Jackie, leave a message.'

Let's welcome out onto the stage... Thank you, ma'am.

If I could ask you just to stand here.

And, ladies and gentlemen,

I want you to keep your eyes very closely on my hands

because my hands will be in view at all times.

I saw her two hours ago.

'She can't have gone back to him.'

'What does that mean for the job?'

'We'd be fucked.' Yeah.

And next up... Can you just get down here?

We're on our way. ...we have a death-defying act.

A feat like no other.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Jackie! Are you mad?

Bert, I can't!

What're you doing? I've... I'm busy.

We are working up to a huge job,

and you're an integral member of the team.

What're you doing back here? Jackie Diamond!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE We fucked up because he knows!

He knows about the job.

He overheard us talking, he was hiding in my workshop.

He's a massive fucking weirdo. You know that that's not normal?

He said he'd call the police if I didn't come back!

Jackie Diamond!

That's why I'm here. Jackie...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ...Diamond.

Shit.

Jackie!

Ja... Jackie!

JACKIE SCREAMS

CROWD GASPS

You could have killed her, you prick.

Everybody out!

Jackie! Bert!

Look at me, I'm gonna sort this.

Go on! He's coming.

Come on. Come on. That is your fault, that!

You're off your head, you! I need you to leave her alone.

Shut up, you stupid cow!

Please! What?

Come on, move!

You're all right. Craig!

CRAIG GRUNTS Come on.

Behave, Craig.

Look, now, if you go away somewhere, then when all this is done,

we can sort you out with some money, yeah?

Yeah, babes...

I don't want your money! I want my wife.

And your wife wants to be with us because we know who she is,

and we fucking know who you are.

Please. All right, so you've been crying to your mates, have you? 'Ey?

You think they're gonna whisk you off to a better life than this?

Shut up!

You've always thought that you were something better than this,

but you are nothing.

Oh! She's not nothing, you prick!

Please, please! CRAIG GRUNTS

CYMBALS CRASH

BONE CRACKS

Bert!

What have you done?

He's bleeding. Sam!

It's from his head. He was wild.

You always fuck things up! Not true. Sam?

I'm calling an ambulance.

And I am calling the police. No, Jackie.

Una ambulancia, por favor.

Cheeky Blinders. Sam, there's so much blood.

Gracias. Oh, my God.

It was an accident. He attacked you.

His temper, Jackie. It was her.

If you say it was her, they'll arrest her

and all of this will be for nothing.

He did that in front of people. He's a loose cannon, you know that.

That's why you left him. She attacked him.

He attacked you. You distracted him!

Are you hearing yourself? Are you serious?

You need to get cleaned up. Jackie!

He's still breathing. You too, Bert. Here.

Right, the police are gonna investigate this.

We need to get all evidence out of Jackie's workshop.

Seriously?

Is that what you think's important right now?

Yes! It's what is important for all of us right now.

I'm sorry! Caitlin, we need to get you out of here.

OK. Come on. Come on!

So you're just gonna leave me?

Hey!

Look, he deserved that, yeah?

I did the right thing.

Sam?

Yeah, you did.

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