Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:07,708
Crutch is filmed in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:09,577
-Late night last night, huh?
-Yeah.
3
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,612
Thanks for letting me
sleep in, Dad.
4
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:12,546
What you mean?
5
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,014
You know what I mean.
6
00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:16,050
You ain't do anything crazy
to wake me up.
7
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:17,385
No early trash pick-ups,
8
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,420
no volcanic fire drills,
9
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,489
and no Luther greatest hits
on full blast
10
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:22,990
to celebrate the sunrise.
11
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:24,625
You right.
12
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,295
I've been tough on you
and you've been working hard,
13
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:28,329
so I let you sleep in.
14
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:29,530
Appreciate that.
15
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:32,200
-Hurry up.
-I'm dying!
16
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,868
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm trying to fix it now.
17
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,337
Dad, is the Wi-Fi down?
18
00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,539
-I paid the bill.
-Yeah. Hold on.
19
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,274
Oh, it's out.
20
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,942
It seems to be out
in the whole area.
21
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,244
-What?!
-What?!
22
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:44,578
You know how long it took me
23
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:45,713
to get to level 19?
24
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,047
I drop out of the group chat
25
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,849
and I know
they're talking about me.
26
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:49,983
Okay. Here.
27
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,018
Why don't you just, uh,
28
00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:52,653
tether to my hotspot.
29
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,890
-(devices chime)
-(both exhale)
30
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:02,230
Sorry, Dad.
Technology, right?
31
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:06,234
Wrong. Two minutes ago,
they was jonesing for Wi-Fi.
32
00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:07,468
(shower running in distance)
33
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,836
They're off
their normal schedules
34
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,471
and they don't
have the outlets they
35
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,905
used to have back at home.
36
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,307
JAKE:
No. No!
37
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,476
Got him.
38
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,980
Did you do something
to the shower?
39
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,515
I turned off the hot water.
40
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,484
No hot showers after 10:00.
41
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,419
I knew you was being
too nice to me.
42
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,788
Think of this as
a three-and-a-half star hotel
43
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,858
and I'm your lovable innkeeper.
44
00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:37,431
(singsongy): Enjoy your stay.
45
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,969
* Tells it like it is *
46
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,971
* Crutch is here *
47
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,539
-* For friends, family, kids *
-CRUTCH: Yo, it's Francois!
48
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,942
-* Crutch is Crutchfield *
-* Crutch. *
49
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,283
We need to find something
for those kids to do
50
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:58,118
besides being
on their devices all day.
51
00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,553
If they didn't have
all those devices
52
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,190
they wouldn't be
socially challenged.
53
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:05,859
Hey, listen, put 'em in camp.
54
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,528
That's what me and your mother
did with you two.
55
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,431
Camp for two kids
costs a fortune now.
56
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,233
I might have a hookup for you.
57
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,668
My friend Gwen--
she runs a theater camp.
58
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:17,438
Theater camp?
Oh, they would love that.
59
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:20,674
I can get them an audition.
Me and Miss Gwen go way back.
60
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,310
Great. I'm gonna tell the kids
61
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:25,145
they might be going
to go to theater camp!
62
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,349
I did theater.
63
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,586
I could have won a Tony.
64
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,857
* From a small town *
65
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,827
* To New York *
66
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,630
* You got to keep
your feet on the ground *
67
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,765
* From downtown *
68
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:48,536
* To uptown. *
69
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:52,873
You don't want to see me.
70
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,642
You're right.
I don't want to see you.
71
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,710
Yet you're always here.
72
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,213
(humming a tune)
73
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,350
All right, y'all.
I'm heading out.
74
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,117
-Where you going?
-Where you going?
75
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:08,121
What is this, a stop and frisk?
I'm going to a Yankee game.
76
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,890
-By yourself?
-Oh, nah.
77
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,860
A law school buddy of mine works
at a firm that has a suite.
78
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,162
So, he could only, like,
get, like, one ticket?
79
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:17,130
No, he gave me two.
Two whole-ass tickets.
80
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,900
I'm bringing my boy Demorris
'cause last time I brought Rico.
81
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,635
-Last time?
-JAKE: Anyway,
82
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,505
uh, love to chat,
but I got to go.
83
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,073
Uh, I want to get there early
'cause the tickets
84
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,041
give me access
to this fancy restaurant
85
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,910
with free sushi
and free steaks
86
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,245
and this all-you-can-eat
cupcake cart.
87
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:32,646
(chuckles)
88
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,649
(door closes)
89
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,420
Aw.
90
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,055
You look like you about to cry.
91
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:46,159
What son wouldn't want to take
his father to a baseball game?
92
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:49,897
The kind of son whose father's
been riding him really hard.
93
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,232
I'm just doing it so he don't
get too comfortable.
94
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,569
Well, he's real comfortable
at that Yankee game without you.
95
00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:59,106
So, it's up to you
to figure out why that is.
96
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,382
(phone rings)
97
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,285
Okay...
(grunts)
98
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,421
Hey, hey.
99
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:14,688
What up, dawg?
100
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:15,956
What up, cuzzo?
101
00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:17,725
Hey, yo, what that chair
doing to you?
102
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:21,028
Oh, oh, oh. Man, this...
this just chair yoga.
103
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,196
It's a TikTok thing, man.
104
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,933
Now that I'm a grandfather,
Tina got me on this health kick.
105
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,502
Did you know that
you can drink kale?
106
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,204
California's a wild place.
107
00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:34,975
Anyway, Jake got box seats
to a Yankee game
108
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,977
and didn't even take me.
109
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,146
-Shoot, that's tough, man.
-I know.
110
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,549
I still remember taking him
to his first game.
111
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,651
-That's always been our thing.
-Well,
112
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,152
do you think it's because
113
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,287
you've been counting
his toilet paper squares?
114
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:49,490
I heard about that.
115
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,192
I'm just preparing my boy
to be a man.
116
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,562
Sometimes you got to give him
that tough love.
117
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:56,664
Oh, okay.
Tough love has its place, man,
118
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:59,066
but sometimes
it crosses the line.
119
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,569
You remember when Uncle Ray
hid your Jordans
120
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:04,004
to teach you a lesson on
wasting money on sneakers?
121
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,139
Did that make you love him more
122
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,942
or did you want to let the air
out of his tires?
123
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,545
That yoga got you
talking in riddles.
124
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,582
Man, all I'm saying
is the Yankees game
125
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:18,051
is Jake letting the air
out of your tires.
126
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,490
I've been too hard on Jake.
127
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,324
Thanks, cuzzo.
128
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,859
Now I know what I got to do.
129
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,628
All right, man.
Look, look, I got to go.
130
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:30,864
This chair yoga about
to turn into recliner yoga.
131
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,400
(chuckles)
132
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,937
(chuckles)
What?
133
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:40,674
Nah. Nah, there's no way
we can have that here.
134
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:43,444
Well, 'cause I don't know
if it'll be a fun hang.
135
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:47,080
Well, if you must know,
my dad has been on one.
136
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,916
(chuckles)
Yeah, he's so annoying.
137
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:54,054
Sometimes I wish I had the dad
from Family Matters, you know?
138
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,391
We'll figure it out.
139
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,626
I'll-I'll call y'all back,
all right?
140
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,260
All right, peace.
141
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,863
Can't do what here?
142
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,433
Oh.
143
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,868
Game night.
It's my turn to host.
144
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,637
But I already know
what you're about to say.
145
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,705
But you didn't even ask me.
146
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:12,973
Okay.
147
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,008
Can I host game night here?
148
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,076
No.
149
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,845
(sighs)
150
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,980
Because you gonna
do it at the store.
151
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,582
I'm-a set it all up.
152
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,851
I'm-a get the good liquor out,
the dark stuff.
153
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,920
The stuff that put
hair on your chest.
154
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,423
Thank you.
That sounds cool.
155
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,925
I appreciate that, Pop.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
156
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,961
By the way, uh,
we-we drink mocktails.
157
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,262
And, um,
158
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,264
chest hair ain't
considered sexy no more.
159
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,166
-Y'all manscaping now?
-Mm-hmm.
160
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,769
I hear it look like
a generation of Ken dolls.
161
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,278
Oh!
162
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,781
Wonderful!
163
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,854
Oh, Toni's niece.
164
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:04,458
Uh, Mase and Lisa
will be auditioning next.
165
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:05,859
You're more than welcome
166
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,961
to keep waiting in the lobby
if you'd like.
167
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,363
Oh, no, ma'am.
I-I'm sorry, but I...
168
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,501
I couldn't wait to meet you.
I read up on you.
169
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:16,937
My kids would be so lucky
to learn from you.
170
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,172
I heard you taught
Savion Glover.
171
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,609
And we had a school of arts
in Harlem because of you.
172
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:24,044
And you sang, too?
173
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,146
Is it true
174
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,815
you were the original Peaches
175
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,817
in Peaches & Herb?
176
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,185
Oh, and I'm so sorry,
177
00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:34,287
but I had to screenshot this.
178
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,189
You were
a Jet Beauty of the Week?
179
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,957
Well... thank you
180
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,128
for the unsolicited trip
down memory lane.
181
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:42,563
Oh, and I baked you something.
182
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:45,032
Oh, just a...
183
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,968
Tater Tot hot dish.
184
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,970
It's a Minnesota delicacy.
185
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,305
Oh.
186
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,941
Can't wait.
187
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,843
Every time I think about
delicious food,
188
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:58,145
I think Minnesota.
189
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:02,650
What's good.
190
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:05,418
Master Wan,
you killed my family.
191
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,389
Now I must seek revenge.
192
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,125
I know all the styles.
193
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,327
Toad style, crane style,
194
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:17,230
cobra style, tiger style.
195
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:21,769
I'm no match for your
dragon face style.
196
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,405
Were you lonely as a child?
197
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,841
What are you doing in here?
198
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,109
I saw flickering lights.
I thought
199
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,044
somebody was robbing the place.
200
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,212
If you must know, I'm setting up
game night for Jake.
201
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:34,948
I've been giving
a lot of tough love,
202
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,784
now I'm giving some sweet love.
203
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,586
(imitates Crutch):
"Some sweet love."
204
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,955
So I can be the person
he takes to the Yankee games,
205
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,289
like we used to do.
206
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,859
(regular voice):
That is the worst plan ever.
207
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,028
You don't understand
male bonding.
208
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,330
Game night is a night
where we talk shit,
209
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:53,400
we drink liquor
and we scratch our balls.
210
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,536
You might fit right in.
211
00:08:56,637 --> 00:09:00,040
And there's a well somewhere
that somebody dug
212
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,742
that you would fit right in.
213
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,115
Hey.
214
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,350
Do you hear how quiet it is?
215
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:13,220
Knocked out after one audition.
216
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,757
Imagine how great it's gonna be
when they're doing full days.
217
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,326
Can't wait for the first day.
218
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:22,429
(imitating Jamilah): There ain't
gonna be no first day.
219
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,666
They didn't get in.
220
00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:28,301
What?
They didn't get in?
221
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,603
I bet they messed up jazz hands.
222
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,139
Kids never spread their fingers.
223
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,207
(exhales)
224
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,876
It was you!
225
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,178
Well, what did I do?
226
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,412
First of all,
227
00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:41,314
you lingered in her space
way too long,
228
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,583
and nobody likes a lingerer.
229
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,619
Second of all,
230
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:48,588
you brought her
a Tater Tot hot dish?
231
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,858
It's a delicacy.
232
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:52,726
I don't understand.
233
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,327
I was just being nice to her.
234
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,930
You were being Midwest nice.
235
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,165
Never getting to the point
236
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,467
and saying "sorry" all the time.
237
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,102
Well, what's wrong
with apologies?
238
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,137
Nothing, when you do something
239
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,239
that you need to apologize for.
240
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,975
Well, I'm sorry.
241
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,612
Little girl,
you are back in New York.
242
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,281
Ain't nobody got time
for your apologies,
243
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,649
your small talk
244
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,951
or your unseasoned-ass
Tater Tots.
245
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,655
Directness is currency here.
246
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,456
You should have
told Miss Gwen what you needed
247
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:24,992
and bounced.
248
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,627
Where you going?
249
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:28,862
I got to go fix this.
250
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,163
I'm getting my kids
in that camp.
251
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:31,498
Miss Gwen don't want to see you.
252
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,466
Oh, she gonna see me.
253
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:36,136
Okay!
Well, I like that attitude.
254
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,038
-Let her know what it is.
-I will.
255
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,406
And don't take no for an answer.
256
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,174
I won't.
257
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,011
Them kids ain't
getting in that camp.
258
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,352
I got it all
set up for you, man.
259
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,487
We got your dominoes over here.
260
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,023
We got your poker table
over here.
261
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,458
We even got karate movies, man.
262
00:10:58,558 --> 00:10:59,993
I know y'all don't drink,
263
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:03,263
so I brought you your favorite
organic fruit juices.
264
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,733
-Looks delicious.
-Yeah. (laughs)
265
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,134
Dad, I got to be real, man.
266
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,668
You really came through
on game night.
267
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:09,636
This is dope.
268
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:11,338
I'm here for y'all.
269
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,106
(laughs)
270
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,607
Nigel, my man.
271
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,276
Those kids
still whooping your ass?
272
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,545
(Jamaican accent):
Man, social work
273
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,948
-is not for the weak.
-Mm-hmm.
274
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:23,583
Every time you talk, Nigel,
I want a beef patty.
275
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:30,457
Rico. Rico, you still
taking those pictures?
276
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:34,061
Yeah, I just got back
from a bikini shoot in Brazil.
277
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,663
Ooh. You hook up
with one of those models?
278
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,799
Of course not.
279
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:41,034
That would be inappropriate.
280
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:42,535
Yeah.
281
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,437
You right, young man.
You got plenty of time for that.
282
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,140
But if it was me doing
a bikini shoot in Brazil,
283
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,077
there'd be a lot
of C-section scars out there.
284
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:57,851
Marco, my man.
285
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,352
H-Hi, Mr. Crutchfield.
286
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,588
And by the way, it's Demorris.
287
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,056
You know who I'm talking to.
288
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,125
What's up with the mutt?
289
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,559
That's helping you
get the ladies?
290
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,161
My Mercedes.
291
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,729
JAKE:
Pop, pop,
292
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:10,998
she's not a mutt.
293
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,066
She's an
emotional support animal.
294
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,868
I know this animal
better not emotionally
295
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,336
doo-doo on my floor.
296
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,238
Well, I'll leave it
297
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,739
to you fellas.
I doubt
298
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,174
this'll ever happen,
but if y'all
299
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,176
get strippers in here,
close the blinds.
300
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,646
Remember, I'm still
a pillar of the community.
301
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,251
Mr. Crutchfield,
you're not staying?
302
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,253
Yeah.
Dad, you can stay.
303
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,122
-You sure?
-(all assenting) -Yeah, what are you
304
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:36,223
talking about?
Come chill.
305
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:37,457
Okay. Flaco!
306
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,392
Come park up.
They said we could stay.
307
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,894
Bring the brown liquor.
308
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,932
Let me introduce you
to my support animals.
309
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,871
So, what are we playing
while we talk shit and bond?
310
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,973
Just a friendly card game.
Watch and learn, Dad.
311
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,707
You'll pick up quick.
312
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:58,111
Hey, y'all listen to that last
episode of the Doughboys pod?
313
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:00,213
They were dead on
about Rice Krispie Treats.
314
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,115
There is no way
that Rice Krispie Treats
315
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:03,616
are better than
Fruit by the Foot.
316
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,053
Fruit by the Foot?
Fruit by the F...
317
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,320
How you gonna be
a universal snack
318
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,889
and not use the metric system?
319
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,960
What the hell
are y'all talking about?
320
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:15,262
Uh, Doughboys.
It's this podcast
321
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,965
where they rate classic snacks
and they make bank.
322
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:20,700
So, you guys
waste all y'all free time
323
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,736
listening to dudes
talk about snacks?
324
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:31,478
Respectfully, snacks are
the window into a man's soul.
325
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,283
Duly noted. All right,
let's get started, y'all.
326
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,851
Let's play, fellas.
327
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,488
Okay, Dad, if I pick a question
card and a regular card,
328
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,623
and the regular card is even,
I answer the question.
329
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,658
If it's an odd number,
I ask the question.
330
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:46,960
Does that make sense?
331
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,229
Now, I might listen
to two fine ladies
332
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,264
-talk about snacks...
-Pop, focus.
333
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,667
All right, it's a seven.
334
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:58,371
So, Nigel, when was
the last time you cried?
335
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,274
Easy.
When one of the kids I helped
336
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,011
thanked me in his GED speech.
337
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:06,513
That's beautiful, man.
That's why we do it.
338
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:09,983
-That's why we do it.
-That was touching, bro.
339
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,284
You're gonna make me cry.
340
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,587
What the fuck
kind of game is this?
341
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,194
You know, Dad,
why don't you, uh, pick a card.
342
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,330
There you go.
343
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,205
-Jack.
-Oh...
344
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,241
(all laughing)
345
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,576
What'd that mean?
Did I win?
346
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,211
Well, in some ways.
347
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,080
Uh, that means
you got to go around the table
348
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,982
and give everybody a compliment.
349
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,918
-I'm out.
-Wait, wait, wait.
350
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,853
-What are you doing? Come on!
-Mr. Crutchfield.
351
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,688
-JAKE: Pop!
-Out your mind.
352
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:55,328
(phone rings)
353
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,696
What up, bro-bro?
354
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,565
I'm just grilling steak.
Check it out.
355
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,067
What up, cuzzo?
356
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,801
I wish I was out there
with you eating steaks, man.
357
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,604
They got me over here playing
this corny question game.
358
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,806
-Did you even try yet?
-Nope.
359
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,609
Look, man, my neighbor Dave
360
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:12,245
had me playing
corny games all the time.
361
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:15,782
Cornhole,
axe throwing, all kind of...
362
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,550
Hey, yo, Calvin want to play.
363
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:19,519
I-I did not say that.
364
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,454
You know what?
All right, I'll try it.
365
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,623
Jake, pull me a card.
366
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:27,127
Okay. It's my cousin
from California.
367
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,728
It's a four.
368
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:33,100
Ah. "What was
your first heartbreak?"
369
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,402
Oh, okay.
370
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,470
So we going there, huh?
371
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,472
Not so fun, is it?
372
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:40,473
No, you know what?
373
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,875
No, I'm-a answer it.
374
00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:46,346
Her name was Rochelle.
375
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,281
My dad introduced me to her,
376
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:52,152
and I was in love
the first time I saw her.
377
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:55,422
Man. Me and Rochelle went places
378
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,957
that was beyond this world, man.
379
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,827
And then I came home one day.
380
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,997
And my dad said
she wasn't mine no more.
381
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,533
Belonged to the neighbors.
382
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,670
I'm trying to tell you fellas,
you just don't know
383
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:14,674
ecstasy until you are inside
384
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:18,011
a '77 Buick Riviera.
385
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,513
-Oh, boy.
-Thank God.
386
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,121
(gasps)
387
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,923
I got to lock that back door.
388
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,027
Don't worry,
I'm only gonna say two words.
389
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,328
I'm sorry.
390
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:37,597
That's not usually
what people say
391
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:38,998
when their children
don't get in.
392
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:42,969
Okay, well, I already
used my two words, so...
393
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,074
O-Okay, I have a few more words.
394
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:49,542
Aunt Toni said
I wasn't being direct,
395
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:50,877
but neither were you.
396
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,945
If I was taking
too much of your time,
397
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,215
why didn't you just say,
"If you keep talking,
398
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,516
your kids won't get in"?
399
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:57,817
Because you seem like
one of those
400
00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,352
pain-in-the-ass parents.
401
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,521
I am a pain in the ass!
402
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,290
Even to myself.
403
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,394
Can I be real with you
for a second, Miss Gwen?
404
00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:10,963
Suddenly, I'm a single mother
with two kids
405
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,366
living on top of my dad
and my brother,
406
00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:14,800
and they're acting
like children.
407
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,569
It's like I inherited
two more kids.
408
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:21,907
Been there. My brother
lived with me for three months.
409
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,644
What is it with these men
and their chaos?
410
00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,579
Right?
I don't understand it.
411
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,249
I-I have to deal with them
and then somehow also
412
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,818
find a job
to provide for my kids.
413
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,287
And I just...
I don't have any idea
414
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,556
how I'm gonna do any of it.
415
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:37,990
Hmm.
416
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:42,395
Pick a camp.
417
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,131
Any camp.
418
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:47,900
Ooh.
419
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,836
I want the weekday, all-day,
420
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,838
-with lunch included.
-Done.
421
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,407
I got you.
422
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:55,875
See you tomorrow.
423
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:01,348
(sighs)
I did what I came here to do.
424
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,217
Ah! I'm back, baby!
425
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,952
Blat, blat, blat, blat!
426
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,223
Sorry.
427
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:17,764
Guys, you know, it wasn't until
I got my own auto shop
428
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:20,032
that I was able to process
those feelings.
429
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,868
Come on, wrap it up, Calvin.
430
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:25,172
You got these dudes in here
crying like Viola Davis.
431
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:28,475
Hey,
432
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,477
thanks for
letting me share, fellas.
433
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,778
You see that, Crutch?
434
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:35,215
It ain't that hard
to share your emotions.
435
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:37,317
Look, all you got to do...
436
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:45,558
I never felt fully
validated by my father.
437
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:49,929
One "attaboy" could have
gone a long way.
438
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:51,798
Thanks for sharing that, Flaco.
439
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:54,167
But you're supposed
to pick a card first.
440
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:57,370
I don't get this game.
441
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,138
How you know
if anybody wins or not?
442
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,308
Well, it's not
about winning, Dad.
443
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:04,977
It's about creating a...
a-a forum to get our stuff out.
444
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,145
It's cathartic.
445
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,947
And the game creates
a safe space
446
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:11,451
for express ourselves
without judgment.
447
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:14,153
I'd rather get beat
with a sock full of nickels.
448
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,989
In my days, men just held it in.
449
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:20,193
Yeah, yeah,
that's why they all died at 56.
450
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,363
At some point,
you got to talk trash.
451
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:26,966
You get it? This is game night.
Here, look, I'll show you.
452
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,501
Hey, Demarco.
453
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,704
What bullshit condition
is that mutt for?
454
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,575
She helps me deal with
old men with no filter.
455
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,310
(laughs)
456
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,979
You see that?
You seen that?
457
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,014
Now, that right there,
my friend, was a comeback.
458
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,183
But if you ever
call me old again,
459
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,753
I'm-a make that dog
love me more than you.
460
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,188
-What?
-And when you come visit,
461
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,558
you're only gonna be able
to see her through the window.
462
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:53,693
Well, I'm uncomfortable.
463
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,496
And game night's over.
464
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,433
(entry bell jingles)
465
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:09,208
You're probably not getting
invited to the next one, Pap๏ฟฝ.
466
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:14,013
Flaco, I should have left
your ass in the storage closet.
467
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,585
Hey, Jake.
468
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,187
I was just listening
to the Doughboys podcast,
469
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:23,423
and if you're not
still mad at me,
470
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,558
maybe we could
start our own podcast.
471
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,261
We could rate those skinny jeans
that you like.
472
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,897
We could call it
Who Wore It Tighter?
473
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:34,734
Or we could talk about
how it makes us feel.
474
00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:37,069
Oh!
475
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,740
I thought the city did
something about the rat problem.
476
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,743
Then scurry your ass
back to the subway.
477
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,747
Based on that corny apology,
I guess game night
478
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,116
didn't get you closer
to the Yankees suite.
479
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,487
I know I messed up. Just trying
to make things right.
480
00:20:55,955 --> 00:21:00,493
Okay, I'll take pity
on your emotionally stunted ass.
481
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,296
He's at that new speakeasy.
482
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,264
Thank you.
483
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,769
Before you get up,
burn that couch.
484
00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:20,246
Hey, man,
I don't know the password.
485
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,681
Jamal, is that you?
486
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,950
I'd recognize
that breath anywhere.
487
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:26,285
Open the door, Jamal.
Open the door now.
488
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:28,154
I'm gonna tell everybody
in the neighborhood
489
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,790
-you doo-doo'd on your--
-(lock clicks)
490
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:36,363
Jamal.
491
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:44,971
(sighs)
How'd you find me?
492
00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:47,940
I'm your father. I'm always
gonna know where you are.
493
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:50,309
Uh-huh.
Aunt Toni?
494
00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:51,978
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
495
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,548
Could I get a strong island
iced tea?
496
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:58,785
Dad, they don't take orders.
They-They're mixologists.
497
00:21:58,885 --> 00:22:00,086
You got to trust 'em.
498
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,688
Tell me what mood you're in.
499
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,490
Booze it up.
500
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,163
Look, I came here
to make things right.
501
00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:13,299
I want you to want
to spend time with me.
502
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,667
Well, if you wanted to do that,
503
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:17,003
the game was
the perfect opportunity.
504
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:21,273
It's literally a game about
getting to know each other.
505
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,642
But you too scared.
506
00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,310
Scared?
Ain't nobody scared.
507
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:26,212
My name is Crutchfield.
I'm from Harlem.
508
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:28,448
-I ain't scared of nothing.
-Dad...
509
00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:30,483
Matter of fact, me and you--
let's play right now.
510
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:32,184
-Me and you. Let's go.
-We're at a bar.
511
00:22:32,318 --> 00:22:35,388
-What is wrong with you?
-Let's do it, son.
512
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:38,691
Come on, Dad.
513
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:41,360
We in a speakeasy.
Speak easily.
514
00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:43,095
Mm-hmm.
515
00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:45,364
(sighs)
516
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:46,699
What's your biggest fear?
517
00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:49,602
Pass. I told you
I ain't scared of nothing.
518
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:52,204
Fine.
Fine, fine, fine.
519
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:54,974
Uh...
(sighs heavily)
520
00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:57,577
What's your biggest regret?
521
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,311
You.
Next question.
522
00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:01,981
(laughs): Oh!
No. Nah, nah, nah.
523
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:04,216
'Cause you wouldn't
brag to all your friends
524
00:23:04,350 --> 00:23:07,119
that you had a lawyer as a son
if it was, so for real,
525
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,888
what's your biggest regret?
526
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:14,126
Not going to college.
No, no, wait.
527
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:17,196
Quitting the trumpet
when I was 14.
528
00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:20,567
Oh. I-I didn't know that
about you, Dad.
529
00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:23,202
I didn't know you wanted
to play the trumpet.
530
00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:26,539
I was Miles Davis
minus the "heron."
531
00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:28,775
It's called heroin,
but we say "heron."
532
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:32,144
'Cause if you try it once,
you hooked from "her-on."
533
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,482
Thanks for sharing that, Dad.
534
00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:39,285
So... expressing your emotions
is how y'all bond?
535
00:23:39,385 --> 00:23:41,954
Yeah, that-that's how we bond.
536
00:23:44,123 --> 00:23:45,357
My turn.
537
00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:50,697
Have you ever not been taken
to a Yankee game?
538
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:57,036
-It doesn't say that, Dad.
-That's how I feel, man.
539
00:23:57,136 --> 00:23:59,472
I was hurt when you ain't
take me to the Yankee game.
540
00:23:59,572 --> 00:24:02,108
That used to be our thing.
541
00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:05,778
You know I like cupcake hearts
and surf and turf.
542
00:24:05,845 --> 00:24:08,781
You know why I didn't
take you to the Yankee game?
543
00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:09,982
Why?
544
00:24:10,116 --> 00:24:11,317
We haven't had
a real conversation
545
00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:12,819
since I moved in the house.
546
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:16,523
It's been this constant...
sparring.
547
00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:18,691
So I decided
to speak your language.
548
00:24:21,661 --> 00:24:24,864
You spoke it loud and clear.
549
00:24:24,997 --> 00:24:26,833
Thanks, Pop.
550
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:30,302
I didn't come
to hear y'all bond.
551
00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:32,438
I came to hear some jazz.
552
00:24:32,505 --> 00:24:34,741
(scatting, slurring)
553
00:24:44,951 --> 00:24:47,153
(laughing)
554
00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:48,588
All right, it's Auntie's turn.
555
00:24:48,688 --> 00:24:51,390
Let her go before
the full moon comes up.
556
00:24:53,392 --> 00:24:55,194
Okay.
557
00:24:55,294 --> 00:24:57,730
What does a jack mean again?
558
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,799
(laughs) Oh, man,
559
00:24:59,899 --> 00:25:02,368
that means you
got to give Dad a compliment.
560
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:12,178
I'm out.
561
00:25:13,813 --> 00:25:15,582
Best game ever.
562
00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:19,018
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
563
00:25:22,188 --> 00:25:24,824
* Sometimes life can deal you *
564
00:25:24,924 --> 00:25:27,594
* A messed-up hand *
565
00:25:29,428 --> 00:25:32,331
-* But when it hits the fan *
-* Hits the *
566
00:25:32,464 --> 00:25:33,766
* Never fear *
567
00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:36,102
* The Crutch is here *
568
00:25:38,671 --> 00:25:42,474
* Crutchfield, Crutchfield *
569
00:25:42,575 --> 00:25:44,777
* He keeps it real *
570
00:25:44,844 --> 00:25:49,181
-* Crutchfield, whoa! *
-* Whoa! *
571
00:25:49,982 --> 00:25:52,251
GIRL:
What's that, bro bro?
572
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:56,851
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41076
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.