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♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,446
♪ Gonna have myself a time
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00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,883
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,754
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:16,973
♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,930
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,672
♪ Ample parking day
or night ♪
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00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,457
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
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00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,675
♪ I'm headin' on down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,808
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
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00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,333
♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,119
♪ And meet some friends
of mine ♪
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00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:50,528
How was school today, bud?
14
00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:53,400
It was fine.
15
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,967
Look, Stan, I know it's been
really hard for you
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00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:57,927
the past month,
with us not having a home.
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00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,929
Yeah, it sucks.
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00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,496
I've tried to find work,
19
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:02,975
but there's just not a lot
out there.
20
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,325
And with
the government shutdown,
21
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:07,196
I can't get my job back
with the USGS.
22
00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:10,504
Times are hard,
and I know we all miss Tegridy.
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I don't miss Tegridy, Dad.
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I just hate that our family
is living in a motel.
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00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,163
It's really embarrassing.
26
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,425
Well, that's what
I need to tell you, Stan.
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There's some good news--
we're moving out of the motel.
28
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:24,170
Wait, really?
We can live in a house again?
29
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,738
Well, no, we can't afford
a house, so...
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we're moving in
with your grandpa.
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Moving in with Grandpa?
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This is a bunch of bull crap!
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First you stick me
in this place,
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and then you all come along?
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Pretty nice, huh, guys?
36
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:43,842
There's a TV, a microwave,
37
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and we have Bingo on Thursdays.
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There has to be somewhere else
we can live.
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00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,500
Come on, Stan.
40
00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:51,981
You have that space over there
by Grandpa's shit pan.
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00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,590
You can't make me stay here.
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This is completely inhumane.
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That's what I said!
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Didn't work.
45
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,789
OK, so then over here
is where you're gonna have
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00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:20,182
the big golden pillars
that you guys wanted.
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Ah, yeah! That's great!
48
00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,359
OK, and then right over here
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is where we're gonna put
your dance floor.
50
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All right!
51
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,452
Wait, dance floor?
52
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,585
I thought we were
knocking the East Wing down
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to make room for the nursery.
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00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:36,024
- The what?
- The nursery!
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You said all this remodeling
was for the baby,
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not to make room for more
of your stupid parties.
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Hey, relax, guy!
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We can just stick the baby
in the bathroom or something.
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Wow! OK, so obviously I have
no say in this remodel.
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00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,562
Mr. President, sir.
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I'm very sorry, but we need to
speak with you urgently.
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It's a matter
of national security.
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00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:03,052
We don't want to frighten you,
Mr. President,
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00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:05,707
but we've received intelligence
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that someone might be trying to
stop your baby from being born.
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00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:11,756
What?
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00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,715
Who?
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00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:16,107
Hey! Relax, guy!
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00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:17,936
We don't know who yet, sir,
70
00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:20,374
but Pam Bondi has been
looking into it.
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00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:22,766
That's right, sir,
we won't let any harm
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come to the baby of the greatest
president that ever lived.
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You are without equal, sir--
- Uh, hey, Pam.
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00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:29,338
And we are honored to be--
Pam. Pam, sorry.
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00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,428
You got a little shit
on your nose there.
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00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:34,256
Oh, do I?
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Did I get it?
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00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:36,738
No, it's still there.
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00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:39,001
If someone is trying
to harm the baby,
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then we must know who.
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00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:44,224
Well, there is...
one theory.
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Some people believe that
by demolishing the East Wing,
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we may have unleashed
some sort of... wrath.
84
00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,718
What kind of wrath?
85
00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:03,025
Vengeful...
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00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,287
wrath.
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00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:20,520
What the hell is going on?
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00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:23,131
I was supposed to be
in Washington.
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00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,787
There has been a change
in plan, Mr. Thiel.
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00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:28,920
They are on to us
at the White House.
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00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:30,312
But how?
92
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,401
How did they find out?
93
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,361
Someone must have heard us
talking.
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00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,753
Do you still have the child?
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00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,146
Yes, he's here.
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00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:40,366
I have him heavily sedated.
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00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,934
It should last
another six, seven hours.
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Six, seven!
99
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:47,591
But I can't keep him here
forever.
100
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:51,420
You'll just have to wait
until it is safe.
101
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:54,859
I think some brownnoser here
is after my job.
102
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,350
Hey.
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Come on in.
104
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:16,228
You guys can't tell anybody
that I'm living here.
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00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:18,229
Stan, you shouldn't be
embarrassed, all right?
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00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,797
Everyone's having a hard time
right now.
107
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,538
Yeah, everyone's having
a hard time.
108
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:22,973
And you know what
the problem is?
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00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,367
Nobody's doing anything
about it.
110
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:25,759
How many weeks has it been now,
111
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,065
dealing with one stupid thing
after another?
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00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:30,590
The truth is, I think a lot of
people are just afraid to admit
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00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:33,767
that South Park sucks now.
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00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,246
South Park sucks now?
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00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:37,248
Yeah, everyone knows it.
South Park sucks now.
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00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,207
And it's because of
all this political shit.
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00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:41,253
We're just getting totally
bogged down in it.
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00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:42,994
Remember when we
used to do stuff?
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00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,474
Just us guys?
120
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:45,910
Ever since all this
political crap took over,
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00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,607
it's like--what?
122
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,000
Like--like what happened to us?
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Like, Kenny, I haven't even
heard you say anything
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00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,177
in, like, four months.
125
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:55,224
You see? That's what I mean!
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We don't even know what to say.
127
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,227
South Park's getting ruined,
and all of us Gen Alpha kids
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00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,664
are just sitting here,
watching it happen.
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00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,840
- You're right, dude.
- Yeah!
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00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:04,189
But what do we do?
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00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,932
I know exactly what to do.
132
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:11,239
Hey, guys,
are you sick and tired
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00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,546
of what's happening to our town?
134
00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,808
Do you feel like it's broken
and going nowhere?
135
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,463
Then click below
and join our online community
136
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,072
at South Park Sucks Now.
137
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,509
Things are clearly
not right here,
138
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,031
and if you're like us,
you are fed up!
139
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,512
South Park Sucks Now!
140
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,819
So please, like and subscribe,
smash the button, upvote--
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00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,080
whatever the hell
you need to do,
142
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:29,171
because together,
we can make a difference.
143
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:37,266
Mr. President,
we don't want you to be afraid.
144
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:40,443
Tell us exactly what it is
you think you saw.
145
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:44,404
Ever since I tore down
the East Wing, there's...
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00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,187
this thing
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00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:49,104
that keeps appearing.
148
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,933
What kind of thing?
149
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:54,195
Sometimes I see it
in a mirror.
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00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:56,111
Or in the hallway.
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00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:58,286
President Trump,
you are an incredible man.
152
00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:00,549
Whatever this is,
we have your back.
153
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,899
Uh, Pam. Pam, you got some
shit on your nose again.
154
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,858
Oh, really?
155
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:07,469
Mr. President,
this entity you speak of,
156
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,298
how many times has it appeared?
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00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,953
It appears more and more
lately.
158
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,649
I-I can't get away from it.
159
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,956
It's everywhere I go.
160
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,915
It's here right now.
161
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,265
In the corner.
162
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:27,882
I'm pretty sure
that's your wife, sir.
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00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,753
My wife?
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00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,276
What does it want?
165
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,933
Maybe it's somehow
trying to communicate.
166
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:39,110
Don't worry, we won't let
anything happen to you.
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00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,721
Ah!
Where did Pam Bondi go?
168
00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:42,940
- What?
- Pam Bondi! She's gone!
169
00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:44,464
But she was sitting
right here!
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00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:45,508
- Pam?
- Pam?
171
00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:47,162
Where's Pam Bondi?
172
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,642
I'm right here, sir!
173
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:51,209
- Look, it's back.
- What's back?
174
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,906
You've got some shit
on your nose again.
175
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:55,561
Oh, my God! What is going on?
176
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,085
That thing!
It's not there anymore.
177
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,437
Ah!
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00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,271
Good morning, seniors.
179
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:12,142
It's 6:30 a.m.
180
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,276
Rise and shine
for your morning medication.
181
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,365
Ugh, God, 6:30?
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00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,280
Yeah, it fucking sucks,
doesn't it?
183
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,767
Holy shit.
184
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:28,812
What?
185
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,552
Holy shit.
186
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:33,687
756,000 likes, you guys.
187
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:36,036
We just built a massive
online community.
188
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:38,387
Wow. I can't believe
how many people agree with us.
189
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:40,344
I thought we could get 50 or
60 kids from school to sign up,
190
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:41,868
but this is incredible.
191
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:43,217
All right,
we've got everyone's attention.
192
00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:44,392
So what do we do now?
193
00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:46,220
What do you mean, dude?
It's obvious.
194
00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:47,744
It's time for phase two.
195
00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:52,444
Hey, guys, if you've come here,
196
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,620
then you're likely joining
the chorus of voices
197
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:57,014
that's fed up with the direction
our town is going.
198
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,626
We all want change
in our community.
199
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,540
And now there's an opportunity
200
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,846
to truly make your voices heard.
201
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:08,025
Introducing the South Park
Sucks Now cryptocurrency coin.
202
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:10,026
This digital meme token
is your way to be a part
203
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:12,072
of the fastest-growing community
in America.
204
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,204
This used to be a great town
before all the politics came
205
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:15,466
and ruined it all.
206
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:16,772
Get in on our crypto meme coin
207
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,340
with this incredible
presale offer.
208
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:19,993
Each coin is just $9.95,
209
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,604
but could be worth
ten times that overnight!
210
00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:23,214
Wait, a meme coin?
211
00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:24,911
Do you want South Park
to change?
212
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:27,783
Then order your coin today
at SouthParkSucksNow.com.
213
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,002
Stan Marsh is not
a financial advisor
214
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,046
affiliated with
any financial institution.
215
00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:31,004
Digital assets
are highly volatile
216
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,005
and may involve
significant risk,
217
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,094
including loss of all funds.
218
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,660
Ownership of South Park
Sucks Now Coin
219
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:35,704
does not represent equity,
profit sharing, or ownership
220
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,141
of any company platform
or project.
221
00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:38,272
Participation is voluntary
and should only be undertaken
222
00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:39,230
by individuals who fully
understand the risks
223
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:40,492
associated with
block chain assets.
224
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:41,885
South Park Sucks Now Coin
is not registered with
225
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,321
or regulated by the SEC
or any financial authority.
226
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:44,758
Please review all disclosures
and consult a licensed financial
227
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:45,367
advisor before engaging in
digital asset transactions.
228
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:37,419
Ahh!
229
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:38,637
Ah, fuck!
230
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,334
Fuck!
- What?
231
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,902
It's the Woman in the Hat!
232
00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:44,338
What are you talking about?
233
00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,514
The Woman in the Hat!
234
00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:47,908
She's in the fucking bathroom!
235
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,302
We've double checked
everything, sir.
236
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,869
All the exterior doors
are locked.
237
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,654
No windows have been breached.
238
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,178
And yet the president swears
239
00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,700
something was
in the room with him.
240
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:00,136
Is he going to be all right?
241
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:01,485
Pretty shaken.
242
00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:02,966
Pam Bondi is in there now
243
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,533
trying to calm him down
and make him feel better.
244
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,449
Pam?
245
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,885
Oh, my God!
246
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:20,418
Stan, what are we doing?
247
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,682
What do you mean, dude?
We're trying to change things.
248
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:25,205
By selling cryptocurrency?
249
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:27,077
What's wrong with trying
to make a little money
250
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,339
while also pointing out the
things wrong with our town?
251
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:30,601
Yeah, what's wrong with that?
252
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:31,865
I have to do something, Kyle.
253
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,040
I'm nine years old
and I live in a retirement home.
254
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:36,346
And you really think
crypto is your way out?
255
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,784
Do you even know anything
about how that stuff works?
256
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:41,396
Well, actually, we have
a really strong crypto advisor--
257
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,746
your cousin on the east coast.
258
00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:45,486
My cousin?
259
00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:47,836
I'm back!
260
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:49,404
All right, looks like
we've got a lot of movement
261
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:50,579
on your coin, boys.
262
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,450
The presale really popped.
263
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,582
We cleared 100 grand in volume
before liquidity even locked.
264
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,193
The token's really got traction.
265
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:58,456
And we don't ever have to pay
anything, right?
266
00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:00,720
Nope, you never pay anything.
You guys created the coin,
267
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:01,938
so all you do is profit from it.
268
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,331
See? I told you.
269
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:06,247
Now we just need to keep
creating hype
270
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,249
around the South Park Sucks Now
digital coin,
271
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,207
so we need to come up with
things to give people FOMO
272
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,166
and make them ape even harder.
273
00:12:12,253 --> 00:12:14,168
You guys,
this isn't about a coin.
274
00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:15,822
It's about a movement.
275
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,171
Oh, that's really good.
276
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:18,649
Yeah, yeah, that's perfect.
277
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,261
"This isn't about a coin.
It's about a movement."
278
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:22,611
Yeah, that's some savvy
Jew Jitsu right there.
279
00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:23,742
So what kind of time frame
are we looking at
280
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,786
to get our money?
281
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:26,223
I need it as fast as possible.
282
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:27,964
Well, I think we're looking at
a classic rug pull
283
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,183
in just a few days.
284
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:30,879
Once we pump the coin
high as it'll go,
285
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,882
then I can register for an MSB
with the federal government.
286
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:35,058
The federal government?
That sounds hard.
287
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:36,843
Oh, no, it's gonna be easy.
288
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,105
The crypto corruption at the
White House is off the chain.
289
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:40,584
We're gonna screw a lot of
people out of their money, boys.
290
00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:42,326
It's gonna be fantastic.
291
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:56,253
Yes?
292
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:59,213
Uh, yes,
we're paranormal investigators.
293
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,779
We've been asked to come
and investigate
294
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,870
the mysterious Woman in the Hat.
295
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,656
I am Stephen Miller,
296
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:10,006
Senior Advisor to the President
for Immigration
297
00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:11,616
and Domestic Policy.
298
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:15,359
Won't you...
299
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,971
come in?
300
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,934
Oh, my God, it's incredible.
301
00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:28,503
Subject is showing some kind of
viscous residue on her nose.
302
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,679
Well, what the fuck is it?
303
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,072
Sometimes there's
a physical manifestation
304
00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:34,682
of spiritual energy--
305
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:37,555
a bridge between
the spiritual world and ours.
306
00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:41,646
In this case, it appears to be
some kind of rectoplasm.
307
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,473
Rectoplasm?
308
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,911
What is it made of?
309
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:46,520
It's unbelievable!
310
00:13:46,521 --> 00:13:49,872
The rectoplasm seems to be 54%
Filet-O-Fish sandwich!
311
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,307
Oh, my God!
312
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,354
I ate a Filet-O-Fish sandwich
last night!
313
00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:55,268
- Jesus!
- And it's also...
314
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,619
28% Taco Bell.
315
00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,142
Oh, my God!
316
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:01,274
I ate Taco Bell this morning!
317
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,710
What does it mean?
318
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:06,714
And it's 14% its own cum.
319
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:09,413
Oh, my God!
I ate--
320
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,943
Hey! Pam! Deal with them!
321
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:21,512
This is a Fox News
Super Alert!
322
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:24,297
Two paranormal investigators
were indicted today
323
00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:27,430
on federal charges
of falsifying data.
324
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:30,130
The president said that the
bad people manipulated readings
325
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:32,783
and reports to make fake news.
326
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:36,179
The charges were filed
by Attorney General Pam Bondi,
327
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:38,747
who said that "the President
is a great man,
328
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,923
even if he does
eat his own semen."
329
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,403
In other news,
330
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:45,145
many people are saying
that South Park sucks now.
331
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,277
The small mountain town
in Colorado
332
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:50,149
has been a hotbed of political
activity in recent weeks,
333
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,891
and three local Gen Alpha boys
334
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,284
are vowing to put a stop to it.
335
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:56,896
OK, we're mooning.
336
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,592
We're mooning...
337
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,029
All right, that's gotta be it.
338
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,943
OK, we're done mooning.
I think we're ready to dump.
339
00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:04,120
OK, sounds good.
340
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:06,382
I'm on the Acela train
right now.
341
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:09,169
I should be in DC by 6:30
to meet with Don Jr.
342
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:10,431
Once I get
White House approval,
343
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:11,910
we should be able
to do the rug pull.
344
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:15,001
- I'm out, dude.
- Kyle?
345
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:16,785
Kyle, wait!
346
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,395
Dude, you can't quit now.
347
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:20,876
Do you know how much money
we're about to make?
348
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:23,617
I thought you were sick of the
way South Park was going, Stan.
349
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:25,446
- I am!
- So then why are you trying
350
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:26,795
to engineer a rug pull
351
00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:28,231
in conjunction with
the federal government?
352
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,755
Bro, it's the world
we live in, OK?
353
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,365
I mean, at least we're being men
354
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:33,802
and taking some control.
355
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,803
Look at Kenny,
he--he's doing stuff now!
356
00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:37,240
Yeah, dude, I'm doing stuff!
357
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:39,808
I know it sucks to be living
in an old folks home, Stan,
358
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:40,940
but you can't fix things
359
00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:42,680
if you're only thinking
about yourself.
360
00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:08,097
Yes?
361
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:11,273
Uh, yes, I'm with the South
Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency.
362
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,754
We're trying to fuck a bunch of
people out of their money.
363
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:14,408
Is Don Jr. around?
364
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:17,846
Ah, yes,
he's been expecting you.
365
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,848
Do come in.
366
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,421
Oh, Jesus, it's a little
drafty in here.
367
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:31,337
You'll have to excuse
the conditions.
368
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:34,515
The master has taken down the
East Wing and unleashed a wrath.
369
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,130
Oh, Jesus! It's a mummy!
370
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:44,090
No, no, that's just the head
of the FCC.
371
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,482
He's lost his freedom of speech.
372
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:53,272
Come. Don Jr. is...
this way.
373
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,758
Thanks so much for taking
my meeting, Don Jr.
374
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:02,716
We've got an incredible
crypto opportunity here
375
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:04,718
and we just need your help
taking a big dump.
376
00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:06,199
That sounds really great.
377
00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:09,202
There's nothing I like better
than a big crypto dump.
378
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:11,333
So sorry I had to bug you
this late in the evening,
379
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,031
but time really is
of the essence here.
380
00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:18,514
We need everyone to gather
in the dining room.
381
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:19,908
Immediately.
382
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,780
In the dining room? Why?
383
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,260
We are going to have a séance.
384
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:29,048
It's time to confront
the spirit here.
385
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:32,094
The--the spirit? What spirit?
386
00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:39,797
Yeah, I can see
the price is going down.
387
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:41,147
What the hell is he doing?
388
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:42,539
He's not answering?
389
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:43,540
Hello, you've reached
390
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:44,976
Pump and Dump
Crypto Advisors.
391
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,934
Let us know how we can help you
fuck people over.
392
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:48,892
Just leave a message.
393
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:50,634
Dude, what is going on?
394
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:53,376
Our token's value totally peaked
and it's starting to go down.
395
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:54,812
Whatever approval you have to
get at the White House,
396
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:56,291
we need it now!
397
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:57,336
God damn it!
398
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:02,603
I don't know, Kenny, OK?
Shut up already!
399
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,565
Oh, Jesus,
this is a little creepy.
400
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:12,438
Are we having dinner?
I'm allergic to dairy.
401
00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:15,310
Everyone, please put your
hands on the table.
402
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:23,406
I am speaking to the entity
in this house.
403
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:25,278
Is this a good time
to talk turkey?
404
00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:27,628
I just need to go over
some quick business.
405
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:30,369
We know you are sad.
406
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,981
We know you are... lonely.
407
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:37,159
But we must ask you
to leave our president alone.
408
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:42,643
Oh, my God,
this is really scary.
409
00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:45,211
The President
is a great man,
410
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:48,735
and he does not deserve
to be tormented like this.
411
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:50,563
Pam! Pam!
412
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,566
Oh! Oh.
413
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:54,872
Restless spirit,
414
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,918
we only wish to communicate!
415
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,750
Holy shit!
She's right fucking there!
416
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,230
What is that?
417
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:11,018
Deception!
418
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:13,326
Boss,
maybe we should stop this.
419
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:15,414
No! I wanna hear
what it has to say.
420
00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:19,897
Epstein!
421
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:21,594
Uh, no, no.
You're right. Let's stop this.
422
00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,162
You!
423
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:26,991
What? You?
424
00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:27,992
What did he do?
425
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:30,821
He lies!
426
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:32,954
Oh, you fucking bitch!
427
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,435
Corruption!
428
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:37,045
She's not possessed!
429
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,961
Pam Bondi's trying to get
my fucking job!
430
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,616
Oh, I can't do this!
431
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:44,705
Lies!
432
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,056
I gotta get out of here!
433
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:50,972
Oh, God!
434
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:52,799
Oh!
435
00:19:53,888 --> 00:19:56,847
OK! OK! It's all true!
436
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:59,589
We've been dealing in deception
and lies!
437
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,852
We've all been getting
filthy rich off of crypto!
438
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,070
Oh, Jesus.
439
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,942
We've lied and we've cheated.
440
00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:06,682
Crypto's just a giant money
laundering scheme
441
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:07,641
for the rich to get richer.
442
00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:09,424
Please don't haunt us anymore!
443
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:10,686
We're sorry.
444
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:13,647
We're all very sorry!
445
00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:16,867
This is a Fox News!
446
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:19,914
Agh! America!
447
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:23,351
A massive crypto fraud has
been exposed at the White House,
448
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,875
and the perpetrator
has been indicted.
449
00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:28,531
A ghostly wrath that was
unleashed in the East Wing
450
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:31,317
exposed the traitor
at a séance last night.
451
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:35,363
The traitor is now behind bars
and serving 10 years for fraud.
452
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:38,933
Charges, of course, were once
again filed by Pam Bondi,
453
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:42,370
who said, "We will continue
to indict anyone
454
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:45,678
who says bad stuff
about our amazing president."
455
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:52,033
I'm sorry, Kyle.
I should have listened to you.
456
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:57,255
I guess there just no really
going back
457
00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,258
to the way things used to be.
458
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,912
Things will get back, Stan.
459
00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:03,131
I know it's hard to see
right now,
460
00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:06,134
but things will go back
to normal.
461
00:21:06,221 --> 00:21:08,527
And in the meantime,
we just have to make the most
462
00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:10,356
of where we are.
463
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:17,318
All right, seniors,
just move with the rhythm now.
464
00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:22,019
♪ If I didn't care ♪
465
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:24,718
Good! Good, seniors.
Nice!
466
00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:29,375
♪ More than words can say ♪
467
00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:34,554
♪ If I didn't care ♪
468
00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:39,949
♪ Would I feel this way? ♪
469
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:46,086
♪ If this isn't love,
then why ♪
34396
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