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Hi,
I'm Calvin Clamp.
I want to welcome you all to our 39th annual Best Mashed Potatoes Awards.
Hooray, right?
Has it been 39 years already?
I can't take the suspense any longer.
I've got to know who has the best mashed potatoes in the universe.
And the mashie goes to... Oh, the cafeteria at Bupalite General Hospital.
Isn't that exciting?
Bupalite General Hospital?
The place voted number one for wrong leg appetitions.
If Calvin Klam says the hospital got the best mashed potatoes, then it's true.
Yeah, don't slam the Klam. Guys, we've got to go there right now and wrap our
sweet lips around those mashed potatoes.
I can't wait any longer.
Kick -off Banana Cricket. We're going to eat the best mashed potatoes in the
world. High five.
Let's just check this map and find the cafeteria.
Or we could split up and have four exciting individual adventures.
Right.
Hey,
TGI Freddy.
Hey, Banana Man, is it Friday?
No. But do you know where the mashed potatoes are?
Check it out.
See you Friday.
Mashed potatoes!
Doc, that tastes like jellied mice.
Hey, stop eating the jellied mice pile.
Thank you for your contribution to medical science, Mr. Jellied Mice Pile.
Yeah, yeah, just hand over those taters, Doc.
Sweet mama's mutt!
How do I get a scoop of that sweet mashed potato action, Doc?
Easy. You just have to donate your body to science.
That's all?
Count this banana in!
Okay. Take a seat and cross your legs.
Simple -de -do.
We're just going to check your reflexes.
That's a concussion.
Can I have my mashed potatoes, please?
Sure. You can leave now with your mashed potatoes and your concussion.
Or you could double your potatoes by doing another experiment.
Double my potatoes?
That's almost twice the potatoes. What do I got to do, Doc?
We're doing a sleep study. Just lay down on this comfy, cozy bed and take a nap.
You're going to pay me double to take a snoozy woozy?
That's right.
This is the perfect job for me, because when it comes to sleeping, nobody beats
a banana.
I think I've had enough guinea
pigging for the day.
Taters, please.
OK. Here's your mashed potatoes, Banana.
Oh.
No way. No, no. You're just going to beat me with a hammer again.
No, I'm not.
I promise we're testing the effects of mashed potatoes on fruit people.
Interested? That's my kind of experiment!
Bring it on!
Okay.
You
said
you weren't gonna beat me with a hammer.
I didn't beat you. The mashed potatoes did.
Anywho, here's your mashed potatoes. Give me! Or you can double it by doing
more super easy experiment.
Are you out of your mind?
Finally,
just me and my sweet and beautiful mashed potatoes.
Happy Friday. It's Friday, right?
No, T -Shirt Freddy.
It's not.
Then why am I stealing your potatoes?
Friday's potato stealing day.
No, wait, wait.
What kind of crazy hospital is this? I'm getting out of here.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Tony LoBianco.
Here.
Stop, Clerk McGirt!
It's an emergency!
Emergency? What is it?
I need to know where they keep the best mashed potatoes in the whole wide world,
Clerky McBeautypants.
Mashed potatoes?
I've got way better snacks to sell for my totally awesome snack cart. Out of
way, jerk nuts!
Peg! Angry old raisin?
Are you here for the mashed potatoes, too?
What? No, I'm about to have a very important surgery.
Surgery? Yum.
I'm getting a whole new body. When I wake up, I'm going to look like this.
You want to put your head on a gorgeous, bodacious, super stud body?
Let me help.
What? No. Get away from me. I'm... Oh, I'm...
Where am I?
What happened?
Good morning, angry old raisin. Did you have a good nap?
Pig, you're still here? Get away from me. But I can't get away from you, you
silly little cuckoo tickle turkey.
Why not?
You said you wanted to put your head onto a bodacious body.
And I can't think of a body more bodacious than mine.
This isn't what I wanted. I wanted to sing a fun song.
Let's do it. Angry old raisin wanted to be above potty. So I sewed his head onto
my beautiful body.
We're together forever, my fourth best bro.
I can't believe my head's attached to this torso.
Now we catch our headphones to roller skate.
This is an activity I really hate. This photo booth is the coolest I've seen.
You idiot.
This is an x -ray machine.
Now every day is a great double day.
I can't believe this is my awful face.
With two heads we can eat twice the potatoes that are mashed.
Careful, pig. My head's being smashed.
Raisin, raisin, I'm talking, can you hear?
Gibbies and paddles, please!
Wow, isn't this the most fun we've ever had?
No, you're the worst host body to my parasitic head ever!
You're a parasite that's out of sight! Stop singing!
I want off your gross, disgusting body right now!
I guess I kind of understand.
Okay, I'll get your body bag. I put it right over her.
This raisin's body belongs to me now.
Oh, no, Clerk McGurk stole your body. He's a big, bad body burglar.
That's right, and I'm going to make delicious oatmeal raisin cookies with
Honey, oh, seek fault.
Not on my watch.
Get your delicious oatmeal raisin cookies made from super old raisins
here. Give me back my fourth best friend's body chunks.
No way, pork dork.
Don't eat that cookie, owl woman lady.
It's got my friend in it.
Yo, that's messed up, son.
How dare this cookie have chunks of your friend in it?
Sorry, dude.
Leave your body on the street, and it becomes my cookie meat.
Leave your body on the sea and it becomes my cookie meat. Leave your body
sea and it becomes my cookie meat.
Look it up.
He's right.
He's got us. It's in the book.
Let's just go home, Raisin. No!
I can't live like this.
I'm not going to be a fact sheet head any longer.
I want my body back now.
Throw him off the earth.
That's the first smart thing you ever said.
My flesh!
And here becomes my cookie meat.
I'm done.
I'm done.
There you go, Raisin. A brand new body, just the way you like it.
Thanks, Pig.
I love this new body. This is the greatest day of my life.
This can't get any better.
Oh, yes, it can.
What? No, you're ruining everything.
Come on, Razor. Let's go find those mashed potatoes.
Ghost! Those potatoes.
You look really sick.
Good luck.
You want me to call a nurse to change your diaper?
Potatoes. Yo, you my nurse?
Tony Tao, my dreamy, hunky dream man.
Yo, I said are you my nurse or ain't you?
Tony Tower doesn't have time for slapping cranking around the mulberry
Yes, yes, yes. Of course I am. I am your nurse. I am Nurse Goat. If you's my
nurse, where's your uniform?
Funny thing. I do not have a uniform because, um, because I am an executive
super mega nurse. We don't wear uniforms anymore.
Oh. I guess that makes sense.
Now, what seems to be the problem?
Doonzy woonzy.
I think Tony Tao got some blister on his Tao snapping hand.
Before I treat you, I'm going to have to give you this medical questionnaire.
First question, are you single?
Yeah, no one can tame Tony Tao.
Ooh, a challenge.
Goatee like.
Second question, if you could have dinner with anybody in the world, where
you take me for mashed potatoes? Take your time.
Oh, I think Tony Tao's got a crick in his back.
Oh, no. Oh, cricks are the worst.
Here, let me adjust your bed.
Oh, this one looks the prettiest.
Ah,
Tony Toe's leg.
Oh, I think it's broken, Tony.
But don't worry. I know just what to do.
Hot soup.
Coming right up.
Oh, be careful, Tonesy Wonesy. The soup's hot.
Did you find the mashed potatoes yet? No, not yet. I've been busy taking care
Tony Towel.
Your minestrone made a hole in me.
No! Oh, my poor little Tony.
Here, I'll help you. Let's get you down to surgery ASAP.
Go. Stop what you're doing and check out my hunky new bod.
Yeah. Plenty to go around, goat.
Ah, whatever.
You have nothing on Tony.
Tony! Oh, no,
oh, no!
Oh, no, oh, no!
We are about to make medical history. The first uglification of a former
president.
Scalpel. Walrus face.
Mole with coarse hair.
Grandmother's voice box.
Tony, are you okay?
Thanks
for taking such
good care of Tony Towel. Ready for our delicious dinner, goat?
I'm kind of busy for the next, oh, 900 years eating mashed potatoes. But after
that, give me a call.
We'll hang.
I'll let you braid my mole heads.
Text me.
Now, if I were a cafeteria, where would I be?
Right here.
Yes. Mashed potatoes, here I come.
Look at those gorgeous potatoes.
Oh, it's no wonder they won the mashies.
Next! I'm next. Me.
And I would like 6 ,000 plates of mashed potatoes, please.
Not so fast, comrade. Are you a patient in this hospital?
Am I a patient in the hospital?
Me? Well, not exactly, but... If you're not a patient, then get out of here!
Then I can be a patient and eat all the mashed potatoes I want.
It worked.
I'm a genius.
Give me them sweet mashed potato mamas.
I thought I told you to get out.
You did, but I'm sick now. So make with the mashed potatoes, Nurse Zilla.
Oh, yes.
Hey!
You turned me into giant hand.
Hmm, I definitely see a doctor about that.
Now, where was I? Ah, yes, mashed potatoes.
How dare you turn me into a flying hand?
Hmm, seems to be a lot of that going around.
It's all his fault.
Delicious mess.
Oh, no.
I'm a hangman.
This could be a horrible epidemic or just a coincidence.
I'm going to go with coincidence.
But first, check out the 10 -pack of my fourth best friend in the whole wide
world. Mm -hmm. Right?
Who the hell you are?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
My beautiful body.
Look how hand -some you are, handsome old raisin.
I did it.
Run!
Hey, hey, Dad. Did you get any past Mamedos? Nope.
We'll crush you like bug, cricket bug man.
Ready, aim, sneeze man.
And I thought getting hit on the head all day with a hammer was bad.
And it was.
Roger.
Superlight General Hospital!
Oh, Jane, I love you, Mom!
Ah! It's burning my face off!
Hey, I'm Tony Tao.
Ma, I love you.
Oh,
I love a man who loves his mom.
We're saved!
Yay! We are saved!
It's time.
Hanging with the Rays and having a mess potato party.
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