Original subtitles

Here goes banana cricket!

Here goes banana cricket!

Well,

I'm off to work.

I'm off to a recording session.

I'm off to catch that monster I created.

I mean, didn't create.

There is no monster.

Nobody panic.

I got to go.

Did I oversleep? Why did my alarm clock go off? That's not an alarm clock.

That's a watermelon.

It's watermelon o 'clock?

I'm going to be late for my job at the pickle bar.

Go, host me.

I didn't know the pickle mart was in trouble.

It wasn't, until I put all my money into this commercial.

How's it going, McGeck?

Save for yourself.

Uh, it's going horrible.

This man knows nothing about directing. He's ugly, and I despise everything

about him.

Well, good luck finding someone dumb enough to deal with this mean old

Kirk, out!

Wait! Come back!

He's right.

Where am I going to find someone dumb enough to direct my commercial?

P. Pickles Pickleman, I can do it. I can direct the commercial. No one loves

pickles more than me.

Have you ever directed a commercial before?

What's a commercial?

I like your fresh perspective.

Go for it. And remember, my entire fortune is riding on this.

Good luck.

I'm Pig.

Who are you?

I am Thaddeus D. Atwell, actor extraordinaire.

Surely you've seen me in the movie American Vinegar Attack?

No.

Frosted Frank Goes to Cincinnati?

No. Uh, Kitten Can't Get Out of the Bathtub?

Of course. I mean, no.

Hm. What about help? There's an orangutan in my pants.

I love that movie.

I didn't. That orangutan was a foul creep. Just thinking about that ape

serious.

Save it for the camera, sugar cheeks.

And action!

If the pickle doesn't tickle, it's not a pickle marked pickle.

Cut!

You don't look like you like pickles very much.

Here, try it with the pickles in your face.

What? No, you can't... No,

I will not act like this. It is absolutely... And action!

Are you filming this using a roll of toilet paper?

Not anymore.

We'll have to do it again.

And action.

It's a pickle, doesn't it? Oh, your camera is biting my face. This is

outrageous. I've never been treated so, so, uh, so, so snuggly.

If this is going to be the greatest pickle commercial ever commercialed,

got to face better.

Okay, this is simple. You just sit in the barrel and say your line. I suppose

could do that, yes.

While going over the 800 -foot pickle waterfall.

What? Don't worry, you won't be alone. I brought the orangutan from help.

There's an orangutan in my pan.

It's the reunion we've all been waiting for.

No, I despise that orangutan. I despise pickles, and most of all, I despise you.

I quit.

No! My big head!

Oh, no! My actor quit!

Gee, this stress is making my tummy hurt.

Oh, Bartzenegger, what are you doing here?

I'm here to tell you to stop being a whiny baby piglet and go make that

commercial.

But my actor floated away on his giant head.

So? You don't need him.

Actors are just people who get paid to lie.

You could do this entire commercial yourself because your love for pickles

unmatched by anyone in the world.

You're right. I'll do it.

Now get in the barrel.

Let's do this.

And action!

Mr. P. Pickle Puss, I did it! I finished the commercial!

If only that were true, Pig.

But you left the lens cap on. The pickle mod is ruined.

Ruined? Oh, rats, now I'm sad.

Mmm, yum.

Pickles make everything better.

And cut!

Cut? Luckily, my horse films everything.

Pig, what you said is the perfect Pickle Mart commercial.

Now finish this thing, and the Pickle Mart will be saved.

It's perfect.

Pickles make everything better. So come to the Pickle Mart at 141 Clifcanistan

Drive. So what did you think?

It's wicked fantastic.

Except you put the wrong address on our commercial.

We're on Bupalai Drive, not Clefghanistan Drive.

Oops.

Man,

that steak looks good. Bushy bushy.

You sure we don't have enough money to buy our own steak?

We've got a button and a photo of two quarters, so no. I may know a place

we can eat the best steak in the world for free.

Well, you should probably keep that information to yourself, because are you

insane, man?

Tell us, where is the beef?

It's on the Steak Bus.

Steak Bus? That sounds like another one of your cockamamie urban legends.

No, this one's a sturgeon legend, Burrito.

A magic sturgeon told me that during a schooner eclipse, if you sacrifice the

thing that's most precious to you, you will learn where the state bus stops.

Look, a schooner eclipse.

Yeah, I feel like this could end in some kind of horrendous tragedy, but what

the hey, I'm in.

Hi, banana.

Summon the steak bus and offer my video game controller.

And I sacrifice my favorite armpit comb. And I offer my Riverside Shakespeare.

Grab it!

I got it! I got it! Willie!

My hand!

You're slipping!

No!

Oh well, I tried.

Well,

I made it.

Your steak, sir.

Steak!

Sweet mama's monkeys! That's the most incredible hunk of meat I've ever seen!

Steak!

Steak? It really is the greatest steak in the world.

What are you here for?

I'm so full.

But that steak.

I need one more bite.

What?

What happened to me?

You're a cow man.

Not that you eat steak, but steak.

You're going to be the steak for the next poor sucker.

Right.

It's my amigo Del Bonanno.

Yeah, we're saving the whole day, governor.

Too late.

Once he's eaten the steak, he belongs to Steak Boss Incorporated.

We'll see about that.

You're on, breakfast burrito. Do one of your classic stomach sweeps.

I got it.

Evil steak, chum.

It's me again!

Wow! You broke steak but fell!

Steak is delicious but not half as good as friendship.

Banana armpit willy breakfast burrito best friends incorporated death platter.

Now who's hungry? Because I know about a magical van that serves the world's

greatest shwarmer.

Cricket! Genius of the year and best abs, Fooey Pooey Baba Booey!

Oh, poppycock!

I'm the greatest genius, and this year, I'll be on the cover of Dr.

Eggplant Face's Genius Gazette magazine.

Who cares, because this year I have...

back like ASAP? Rush job for condiments on a super suit.

No problem, man.

Huh?

Oh, look what happened!

The magic shwermer van blew my ticket away!

All done, man.

So, can I have my suit then?

Sure, man. You got the precious ticket. Ticket?

Oh! Would you believe the magical shawarma van came and blew it away?

Sorry. Read the sign.

Not responsible for tickets lost due to magical shawarma van.

What? You have a sign for that?

Oh, can't you make an exception?

No, man. The owner wouldn't like that.

Yeah, but you're the owner.

I know, man, and I don't like it.

But it's my size, and it's shaped just like me, and I was just here like three

minutes ago.

Without it, Dr. Eggplantface won't put me on the cover of Genius Gazette.

man. No ticket.

No suit.

Out of my way, shrimp.

I'm just going to take a nice walk out of the store and not bother you again

until I find my ticket. Goodbye. Thank you.

I'll just create a fake ticket with my thoracic oncometer and still be on time

to impress Dr.

Eggplantface.

Good news.

I found my ticket.

That's your real ticket, man?

What?

Of course.

What do you think I would do? Make up a fake ticket with my genius technology?

I mean, do you hear yourself?

I mean, come on.

Okay. Here you go, man.

Those aren't my clothes.

Sorry, man.

These clothes match the number on your ticket.

Yes, I'm here for my... Oh, dear.

I'll just hide in this laundry bag till Rasta Rat steps out. Then I'll sneak

back there and get my suit.

Simple dee dang.

Pee -yew.

These clothes are stinky, man.

Better put them in the extra strong washer.

I'm buying this dry cleaner.

Cool, mon.

Finally. Now give me my super robo suit.

There's my genius of the year.

Thank you.

Not you.

The man who discovered how to get mustard out of Brazilian carbide.

Congratulations,

Ruff the Rat.

I'm a genius, mon.

worst song yet!

from your face is so annoying. It makes me angrier than I've ever been.

Okay. You really should stop talking.

That was amazing.

Have you ever thought about being a professional wrestler?

You could be rich and famous.

Hmm. Well, I don't know. I... Yes! Give it to me! Now! Please!

Then come with me.

Know the goat obliterator? The goat obliterator!

The goat obliterator versus...

Whatever's going on in there.

Hey,

watch it, you miserable yellow...

Please, God, I gotta warn Goat. Are you ready for your toughest opponent yet?

Wait, wait, you can't... The ultimate, the undefeated, the incredibly

inarticulate Drago Zekevich. Look at my

face. Ha, ha, yeah, and I've had tougher tapeworm.

Goat, you can't fight him.

She's too powerful.

I don't think so.

Here you go. Eat this. Pickles make everything better.

I guess pickles aren't so great. My world has collapsed.

I'm just making you crazy.

I got it. Cricket, fly this joke gizmo up to her enormous head.

Cricket, distract her. Pig, grab one of her giant horns and shove it into her

big ear hole.

Aye, aye, yellow hot dog man.

Whistling turned you into a raging, uncontrollable Hulk monster man.

What? You turned into a raging, uncontrollable Hulk monster man.

What? Oh, just forget it.