Original subtitles

It's an emergency!

We've got to see Pretty Panda and we've got to see her now!

You mean Pretty Panda, the cutest, most insanely adorable darling baby panda in

the whole wide world?

That's the one.

Pretty Panda is so cute that just looking at its picture can turn your

into birthday presents.

Oh, yay!

I got presents!

New eyeballs?

How did they know?

Look, I can't believe I'm saying this, but if I don't see this cute panda, I

will regret every remaining second of my remaining life.

The third birthday is tomorrow.

And on their third birthday, pandas go directly from insanely cute babies right

to gross, sloppy, and middle -aged. See?

Oh, no!

My eyeballs became burnt hot dogs.

Yum, yum, yum. Mm, yum.

Come on. We got to go right now.

Bingo, banana, cricket, cute panda road trip before it becomes gross high five.

Can I drive?

Oh, boy. Why is that funny?

Don't!

Do we have anything besides whale sounds?

I've got dolphin sounds, sturgeon noises, and trout screams.

Let's try the radio.

Ding -dong, ding -dong, that's best ever.

Right. You got bullied by someone famous.

Call Name Dropper. I did.

She made my life miserable.

And now she's on the radio, getting rich and famous by stealing my song.

If only there was a way for you to give her a piece of your mind in person.

Plenty of time. I'm just going to find my high school archenemy and force her

admit she stole my song. I mean, how long could that take, right?

Ping -pong, ping -pong.

Best friends forever.

Because friends are nice and nice and sweet.

So be best friends with ice cream.

She admits that that's my song.

And don't come back here until you have my hazelnut toothpicks.

What? Hello, Shlovern DeFazafini. Remember me? You stole my song.

Actually, I don't. Who are you?

What do you mean, who am I? I'm Goatface, remember?

Ping -pong, ding -dong, best friends forever.

Nice song, Goatface.

And by song, I mean garbage.

And by garbage, I mean your soul!

I did steal your song. But instead, how about I never tell anybody about it?

Ever. Oh, I was hoping for the exact opposite of that.

But lucky for me, I recorded this whole conversation on my secret snout camera.

Not bad. But you know the best part of being a super rich rock star?

Monogram six foot sub sandwiches?

Okay, you want to know the second best part?

Being able to afford a dressing room that's also a secret shrinking people

crushing trap.

Hello, Slytherin.

Goat face! Get off the stage!

Garbage head, I admit it. You win. I stole your song.

That's right.

I wrote this song. Which means all of you are really my fans.

Are you ready to hear my song?

Ping -pong, ding -dong, that's forever.

Wait. Goat didn't write that song.

I did.

Remember?

Ping -pong, ding -dong, that's forever.

Yeah. Now, who wants to hear me sing it? Ooh, that's messed up, Squirrel.

You know I wrote that song. Remember?

Ping -pong ding. Oh, ping -pong ding -dong.

Really? You were there, too?

You don't remember? Oh, that's messed up, Coat. Now, who wants to hear me sing

my own song? How dare you!

Yes,

it is I, the true writer of the song. Or have you forgotten the rest of that

flashback?

Ding -pong, a -ding -dong.

I am the real artist, and I deserve to play at the Fozzy Fest.

Okay, okay, I think we can all agree that everyone here wrote the song,

Slytherin. So why don't we just all sing it right now, together?

Am I getting on that?

Well,

since Coat left the car, her seat is up -seat for grabbies, which means...

Howdy, cowboy, I'm driving!

See? Just took two secs. Let's go.

Coat's seat looks like a cricket.

the world's greatest trampoline park.

Guys, I know we need to see Pretty Panda, but I wonder if we could super

make a super quick stop at Tramp Town for like one awesome second.

Nope. Sorry, pig. We're on a cute panda deadline.

Besides, I hate trampolines. They make me jumpy.

I'm amazing.

Tramp Town, one male.

Last chance to tramp.

My very last chance.

I got to do something.

Guys, I'm going to go under this blanket to take a nap and not sleep off the

Trampton. Whatever works your dick, Rosa.

It's Tram -tacular!

Welcome to Trampton.

What do you, like, want?

Clerk McGirt?

I would like one jump on your finest trampoline.

All our trampolines are the finest.

You could tiptoe on our tiny, teeny tramp.

And also the highly informative Trampalern.

Of course, our trampoline made of real tramp. It doesn't hurt.

That one!

The Tide Traffic Trampolage of Sertoline?

Oh, no. It's only for highly trained professional trampoline trampoliners

me. You couldn't handle that tramp.

I think I am tramp enough to tramp that tramp, and I'll prove it by beating you

at some wrestling.

Okay, but don't, like, get your hopes up. You look really good at some

wrestling.

Okay, bye.

Quit fucking around.

It's a watermelon.

We found a new galaxy. It appears to be extremely gross and shaped like a smelly

pig. Hey.

Look,

Clark McGirt, it's the intergalactic cheese grater.

There's cheese down there?

Extra space cheese.

Sweet.

Actually, I'm quite tangy.

I'm tired of trampolining.

I want to see Pretty Panda now.

Hello? Anyone?

Nobody cares.

I care. Shut your yap, Orion.

Oh, no!

The top!

Was I speeding?

No, Van. That's not a regular top.

That's...

I'm Rental Police.

Banana F.

Peelskins, you are under arrest.

Is this because I never returned Bladder Blasters 4?

And Bladder Blasters 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18,

and 19.

You're coming with me.

No way.

Banana's our friend, and you can't have him. Oh, yeah?

chain me to you that's cruel and annoying punishment plantains and

mortal enemies talk a lot

okay

maggot time to pay your debt to video game society

get to work

What is he, pretty panda?

Panda.

You pretty, pretty panda.

What? Your crying is keeping me from thinking about ways to make you stop

living. I'm not crying.

Why don't you mind your own business, you goofy turkey?

Fine. Then I won't tell you about my escape plan.

I don't give two safari walnuts about your escape plan.

Wake up, slug bugs.

Time for late night noogies and toilet licking.

So tell me about the plan.

It's a two -man job. I hit the guard in the head with something.

What? You.

Come

on.

Let's hurry.

Let's go left.

Big, your stupid plantains always want to go the wrong way.

Really?

Is it wrong for a plantain to want to see his family?

You have a family?

That's right, Banana.

This goofy turkey is a dad.

This is little plantina. That's my plantoni. That's my plantruti. And this

little plantalones.

They're all so cute. I miss them so much.

Thank you for asking me about my children.

Actually, you kind of brought that up.

You're going to see the Bea Arthur out of those pantalones.

That's the banana guarantee.

And you're going to see pretty panda. And you can take that to the stank bank.

They found us. No, no, no. No time to run. We have to hide.

Let's think of a disguise.

Something simple that won't draw any attention.

Tacos. Get your tacos. Get your garbage diaper swamp filled robot tacos.

What if someone actually wants a taco?

Don't worry. Nobody's going to want garbage diaper tacos, especially ones

by robots.

New tacos.

Look who it is.

Pico. Yes, sir. Here you are. Enjoy.

He'll take the diapers. We're going to get caught.

These taste like diapers filled with warm garbage.

Call an old cop.

I got a location on delicious tacos.

My friend's got to try this.

What the?

Do you worry?

Cricket!

I don't see banana anywhere.

We got to find it.

We'll find him with my bionic banana locator. I just need to add this

magnet. Ooh, there he is.

Oh, no, sorry. Just some banana -shaped dots on my lenses.

I seem to be stuck

to this metal pole.

I know what to do.

Yes!

pole -shaped prison.

What?

This

truck's

going the wrong way. I'm getting further and further from pretty Panda.

Oh, would you look at that adorable Panda.

If I could just make it to the turbine, I'll have this magnet out of me in a

jiffy.

I'm a genius!

I did it! I'm free!

Dang.

Jumping geranium!

Look at the time!

Pretty Panda will only be cute for five...

Wait, no, scratch that.

I'll use science!

I've become massively magnetic, which I can counteract with an opposing

electromagnetic field.

My calculations are correct.

What? My calculations...

Garbage tacos.

Now these cops will never leave. It's worse than jail.

Quiet. Look, as long as we have our disguises, we still have a chance.

That was fun while it lasted.

It's banana and plantain, Adam.

Our fugitives.

And our tacos.

phone with your stupid panda and say hi to those kids for me banana

hey guys we're gonna be obliterated by that meteor hey guys

giant metal stuck to cricket party that's my favorite

yeah more like we'll never see pretty panda ever pity party party

Scott reporting live at the zoo, where in a few moments, Pretty Panda will no

longer be cute, but will become gross, flabby, and middle -aged.

Pretty Panda, for adorableness above and beyond the call of cutie, I award

you with the Iron Rhombus of endearing assidy.

And now, countdown to grossness!

I see pretty pattern with you guys. At least we get to be sad and disappointed

together. Even being sad is my favorite when I'm with my bestest friend.

Yeah. Ping pong, ding dong. Best friend forever.

Ping pong, ding dong. Best friend forever.

No, quiet.

I see something.

It's...

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