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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:03,543 Gary: PRETTY CERTAIN SOMEBODY FARTED IN THE LEMONADE, 2 00:00:03,571 --> 00:00:04,871 WHICH IS ACTUALLY A RELIEF 3 00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,965 'CAUSE IT WASN'T STRAIGHT PEE-PEE. 4 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,337 YOU KNOW, THE FART KIND OF ADDED A SORT OF SPICY END TO IT, 5 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:11,478 WHICH IS PRETTY GOOD. 6 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,812 -Todd: GARY! -TODD? 7 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,376 OH, YOU GOT TO GET ME OUT OF HERE, MAN! 8 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,215 -YOU GOT TO HELP ME, PLEASE! -ALL RIGHT! SLOPPY TODD TUESDAY. 9 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,590 [ Crying ] GARY! 10 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,648 * SLOPPY TODD TUESDAY, GARY'S FAVORITE DAY * 11 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,258 WILLIAM! [ LAUGHS ] 12 00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:25,391 I LOVE YOU, WILLIAM! 13 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:26,556 SHEILA. 14 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:29,564 TRUE LOVE WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU! 15 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:30,727 [ LAUGHS ] 16 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,074 WHOO-HOO! SEE YOU LATER, SUCKERS! 17 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:35,202 [ GRUNTS ] 18 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,366 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. NOTHING TO SEE. 19 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:38,565 IT'S OVER. 20 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:39,766 WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! 21 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,337 TRUE LOVE, ALL RIGHT? 22 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,075 SO, EVERYONE JUST, UH, GO BACK TO YOUR SLOPPY TODDS. 23 00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:45,081 IS HE GONE? LIKE, GONE GONE. 24 00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,753 TRUE LOVE CAN GET US OUT OF HERE? 25 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:48,751 YEAH. 26 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,922 -I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT. -HEY, HEY. 27 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,551 LISTEN, LISTEN. YEAH, I'VE BEEN IN LOVE A MILLION TIMES. 28 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,087 IT'S A BIG DEAL, OKAY? 29 00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:56,863 'CAUSE THEY'VE GOT TO, LIKE, CRAWL THROUGH A TREE STUMP 30 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,590 AND BEAT UP A TROLL AND THEN, LIKE, 31 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,256 SWIM THROUGH A BUNCH OF THROW-UP. IT'S -- 32 00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:03,264 I HAD A GIRLFRIEND WHO SAID THAT SHE TRULY LOVED ME, 33 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:06,867 UM, BUT THAT SHE WASN'T, LIKE, IN TRULY, LIKE, LOVE WITH ME. 34 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,600 AND THEN SHE HAD COMPLICATIONS WITH HER CAR. 35 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,037 AND THE STEERING WHEEL WAS ALL WONKY. 36 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,611 SHE WAS [BLEEP] YOUR BROTHER JEFF. 37 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,240 -YEAH. -YEAH. 38 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,135 YEAH, I FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT LATER. UH, NO, BENJI. 39 00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:17,877 A BOY THAT YOU RAPED DOESN'T COUNT. 40 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:18,981 -NICE TRY, THOUGH. -AW. 41 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,652 COME ON. I GOT OTHER STORIES. 42 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:22,081 I GOT LONGER STORIES. 43 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,386 YOU PATHETIC SHITS ACTUALLY THINK 44 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:28,058 THAT THERE'S SOMEONE UP THERE THAT LOVES YOU, TRULY LOVES YOU? 45 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,288 ALL RIGHT. 46 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:32,393 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU ASSHOLES 48 HOURS AT THE SURFACE. 47 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,826 -YEAH! -GO TO THE TOP. 48 00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:36,961 SEE HOW MUCH TRUE LOVE THERE IS FOR YOU UP THERE. 49 00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:37,897 GO FIND IT! 50 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,631 GENTLEMEN'S WEEKEND IN THAILAND! 51 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:42,467 ** 52 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:46,773 * I KNOW YOU THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG IN MY -- * 53 00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,307 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 54 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:51,152 OH, UM, HEY, DID YOU SEE MY OTHER PENNY LOAFER UP THERE? 55 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:52,249 I HID IT IN THE CEILING 56 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,780 SO YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE. 57 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:57,485 WANT TO GO GET BREAKFAST OR SOMETHING? UH... 58 00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,748 WAIT, DID YOU JUST LOOK AT HER? WHO? 59 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,317 OH, YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTIER THAN ME. 60 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,486 THERE'S LITERALLY NO ONE HERE. 61 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,855 WAS I JUST A ONE-NIGHT STAND TO YOU?! 62 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,604 WHAT? WE DIDN'T EVEN HOOK UP! 63 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,999 I'M KILLING MYSELF BECAUSE I TRULY LOVE YOU! 64 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:14,472 NO. DON'T DO THAT, JOANNE. 65 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:15,972 JOANNA! 66 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,313 I-I WAS GONNA SAY THAT. YOU CUT ME OFF. 67 00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,809 THAT'S RUDE ON YOUR PART. 68 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,280 I KNOW I MIGHT BE WRONG TO LEAVE, BUT THAT'S RUDE. 69 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,480 IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE. 70 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,552 NO -- OH. 71 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:26,649 OH. 72 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,380 OH. ARE YOU -- ARE YOU OKAY? 73 00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:30,547 [ GROANS ] 74 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,054 YOU'RE GOOD. 75 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,315 SHE'S GOOD. 76 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:37,734 ** 77 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,804 WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE, GARY? 78 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,470 I GOT MY EARTH FRIEND SHOWING UP, 79 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,698 AND HE'S GONNA HOOK US UP. 80 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,543 -WHAT'S UP, GARE BEAR? -GREGATRON! 81 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,998 [ LAUGHTER ] 82 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:52,406 -YOU GOT A LITTLE SUNBURN, BRO? -WHOO! GREGATRON! 83 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,710 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 84 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,511 LOOKS LIKE YOU BROUGHT YOUR BOOK CLUB. 85 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,913 WELL, SHARPEN YOUR PENCILS, NERDS. 86 00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,584 YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET SCHOOLED. 87 00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,912 GOT THIS STUFF FROM MY WORK. 88 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:02,147 YEAH. OKAY, AM I HANDSOME? AM I HANDSOME? 89 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,322 HOW DO I LOOK? 90 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,551 HEY, PARTNER. 91 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,845 I'VE GOT SOME POGS HERE IN MY POCKET. 92 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,817 YOU GUYS STILL LIKE POGS? 93 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,716 GROSS, BENJI! IT'S GARY! 94 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,228 OH, SORRY, GARY. DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE IN THERE. 95 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,901 [ CHUCKLES ] I JUST WAS FEELING A CONNECTION. 96 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:20,099 HEY. HOW'S IT GOING, JOANNE? 97 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,543 A -- JOANNA. 98 00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:22,539 JOANNA. 99 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,070 THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 100 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:24,914 REMEMBER ME? 101 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,008 YEAH, CLAUDE, I-I REMEMBER. 102 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,240 YOU DON'T HAVE A LIMP, DO YOU? 103 00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:32,277 YOU GOT ALL THOSE TEXTS I SENT FROM THE HOSPITAL, RIGHT? 104 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:35,353 MY PHONE HAD A VIRUS. 105 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:36,523 MALWARE. 106 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,620 BUT I TRIED TO SEND YOU TEXTS 107 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:41,262 FOR THE LAST EIGHT YEARS, JOANNA. 108 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:45,529 I JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE MADE A BUNCH OF JELL-O SHOOTERS. 109 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,259 CLAUDE'S FAMOUS FORMULA. REMEMBER? 110 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,526 I REMEMBER. 111 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,873 I REMEMBER A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT THAT NIGHT, AND... 112 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,940 I'D LIKE THEM NOT TO BE MEMORIES ANYMORE. 113 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:59,939 I'D LIKE THEM TO BE PRESENT-TENSE HAPPENINGS. 114 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,113 HMM. 115 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:02,241 THERE, UH... 116 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:06,446 THERE AREN'T MANY, UH, WOMEN WHERE I'M FROM. 117 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,480 OH, THAT'S WEIRD. 118 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,245 [ CHUCKLES ] WHAT DO YOU DO? 119 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,123 UM, RETAIL. 120 00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:13,120 OH. YOU KNOW WHO'S GOT A TAIL? 121 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:14,293 NO. 122 00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:16,292 THE DEVIL! 123 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:18,434 EDDIE, EDDIE, EDDIE, EDDIE. I'M FROM HELL. I'M DOING VERY GOOD, OKAY? 124 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:19,959 NO, YOU'RE NOT. I CAN SEE FROM ACROSS THE ROOM. 125 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,263 OKAY, LISTEN, ALL RIGHT? 126 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,795 YOU'RE TALKING TOO MUCH ABOUT YOURSELF. 127 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,230 ASK HER QUESTIONS ABOUT HERSELF. 128 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,934 HEY, LADY, YOU WANT SOME TATER TOTS? 129 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:26,966 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 130 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,240 -SEE? -DON'T. 131 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,738 -SHE SAID NO. -WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 132 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,970 BUT I LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT HER. 133 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,305 YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. LOOK AT HER. 134 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:38,482 NOW, THAT GIRL IS LONELY AND DESPERATE. 135 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:41,622 I WANT YOU TO GO OVER THERE AND CRUSH HER SELF-ESTEEM 136 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:42,979 SO SHE FEELS LIKE GARBAGE, 137 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,316 AND THEN SHE'LL THINK YOU'RE THE CHAMP. 138 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,323 YEAH. 139 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:47,664 YOU GOT YOUR PEACOCK ON? 140 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,018 YEAH! 141 00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,516 UM... 142 00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:51,988 I WAS GONNA DO, UM... 143 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:55,025 -I'M TATER-TOTS-IN-MY-EARS GUY. -NO. 144 00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,134 -HOW ABOUT THIS? -NO WAY. 145 00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:05,709 NOW GET OVER THERE AND MAKE DADDY PROUD. 146 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,210 [ SNAPS ] 147 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,114 HEY. WHAT'S UP? 148 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,046 HEY. 149 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,981 YOUR BREATH STINKS LIKE SHIT. 150 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,116 YEAH. 151 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,150 AND YOU GOT ORANGE TEETH LIKE YOU'VE BEEN CHEWING 152 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,286 ON THOSE CUT-RATE CORN CHIPS, HUH? 153 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,121 WHAT, ARE YOU TOO POOR TO AFFORD THE GOOD ONES? OH [BLEEP] YOU. 154 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,957 WHAT DID MY TWIN BROTHER JUST TELL YOU? 155 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,233 -[ SCOFFS ] -HE IS SO RUDE. 156 00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,900 LET ME GET YOU AWAY FROM THIS MAN. 157 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,359 YOU MADE ME INSULT A WOMAN. 158 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,536 [ MOANING ] 159 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,138 NO. NO, LEAVE IT. LEAVE IT. 160 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,909 NO, NO. TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF. 161 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,468 GET DIRTY. GET DIRTY. 162 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:40,737 NO. I -- 163 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:46,146 OKAY, NOW, THERE'S SOMETHING I SHOULD TELL YOU. 164 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,879 IT'S NOT A PHYSICAL THING WITH ME, YOU KNOW? IT'S EMOTIONAL. 165 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,376 I'M LISTENING TO YOU. I'M INTERESTED! 166 00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:52,218 I'M INTERESTED IN YOU! I WANT TO KNOW -- 167 00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,222 -HEY, I WANT TO KNOW -- -I HAVE A RAPE WHISTLE. 168 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,364 WELL, I HAVE A WHOLE RAPE GUITAR AT MY APARTMENT. 169 00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:57,990 I DON'T PUT TATER TOTS IN MY EARS, 170 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,255 AND I'M NOT A LESBIAN. 171 00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,729 I THOUGHT IT WAS A MAN SCARF! 172 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,334 MEN ARE WEARING SCARVES NOW. 173 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:10,565 OKAY, MOM, ONE MORE TIME -- THERE'S A TREE STUMP IN GERMANY. 174 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:11,614 IN EUROPE. 175 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:14,439 YEAH. YES. YES. 176 00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,535 'CAUSE GERMANY IS IN EUROPE. YOU REMEMBER! 177 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:17,907 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 178 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,945 AND YOU HAVE TO GET TO THIS TREE STUMP, 179 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,250 AND IT IS GUARDED BY A VERY AGGRESSIVE TROLL. 180 00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:26,122 DO I HAVE TO DRIVE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD? 181 00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:28,591 YES. 182 00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:29,922 YES! YES! 183 00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:32,087 OF COURSE YOU WILL. YES! 184 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,585 [ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] 185 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:34,757 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 186 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,755 I E-MAILED FATHER BENSON, AND... 187 00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:40,097 WHY DID YOU DO THAT? ...AND HE SAID THAT THIS WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA 188 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,943 TO GO TO HELL. THAT'S A SURPRISE. 189 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:44,269 YOU COULD BE THE DEVIL NOW. 190 00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:47,414 DOWN THERE, MOM, THEY MAKE A KNIFE COME ALIVE, 191 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,881 AND IT CRAWLS UP INSIDE OF ME, ALL RIGHT? 192 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,140 FOR DAYS. 193 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:53,748 AND IT GOES IN AND OUT, IN AND OUT, OKAY? 194 00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:57,821 BUT YOUR LOVE WILL GET ME OUT OF THERE. 195 00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,421 [ SMOOCHES ] 196 00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:01,563 [ SIGHS ] 197 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,959 OKAY, DEAR. 198 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,131 YEAH! GARY! 199 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,788 ALL RIGHT. COME ON! LET'S DO THIS! 200 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,797 WE GOT TO GET YOU A GUN. [ CLAPS ] 201 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,969 [ TRAIN HORN BLARING ] 202 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:14,771 JOANNA. 203 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:18,442 I HAVE TO GO, BUT I... 204 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:19,742 LOVE YOU. 205 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,113 OH! 206 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:25,951 AND I WOULD WALK 500 MILES FOR YOUR WEIRD BODY. 207 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:28,519 BUT HELL'S EVEN FURTHER AWAY THAN THAT, BABY. 208 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:31,319 WAIT. BUT YOU SAID THERE'S A TREE IN GERMANY, 209 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,191 AND I HAVE -- TRUE LOVE COMES TO GET YOU OUT... 210 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,461 DON'T TRY TO COME AFTER ME. IT'S TOO DAMN DANGEROUS. 211 00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:39,790 BUT AT THE SAME TIME, THE TROLL YOU'D HAVE TO ATTACK 212 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,087 IS VERY EASILY DEFEATABLE. 213 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,258 IT'S VERY OLD. 214 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,695 OH, IT'S PULLING. I LOVE YOU! 215 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,543 -OHH! -OH, GOD, NO! 216 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,468 [ ROARING ] 217 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:52,643 [ Weakly ] AAH! 218 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:55,113 TRANQUILIZER DARTS. FOR THE TROLL. WHAT? OH. 219 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,712 JUST IN CASE YOU DECIDE TO. NO PRESSURE, BUT... 220 00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,045 [ ROARS ] 221 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,379 [ SCREAMS ] THE FIRE BURNS THROUGH MY HEART! 222 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,484 I'M DRAGGING YOU TO HELL! 223 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,687 OH, GOD! 224 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,848 OH, CLAUDE! 225 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,017 [ SOBBING ] 226 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,456 THAT WAS GREAT, EDDIE! 227 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,490 I FELT GOOD! 228 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,055 I THINK THE ROARS REALLY SOLD IT. 229 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,333 MOM, I GOT YOU AN OVEN MITT, I GOT YOU A KNIFE, 230 00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:17,462 I GOT YOU A SNORKEL FOR THE RIVER OF VOMIT, 231 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,027 I GOT YOU NUNCHUCKS FOR THE TROLL, 232 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,567 AND I GOT YOU THIS COOL KARATE STICK. 233 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,643 IT'S A KABOTU WAR STAFF, AND IT'S MINE. 234 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:26,713 MOM IS AT CHURCH. 235 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,080 SHE ASKED ME TO COME TALK TO YOU. 236 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,338 GEOFF, THIS HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, MAN. 237 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,347 YOU ASKED A 70-YEAR-OLD WOMAN 238 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:34,379 TO DIG INTO HELL... -YEAH. 239 00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:35,584 ...TO FIGHT A TROLL. 240 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,846 IF SHE FALLS AGAIN, WE COULD BE TALKING HOSPICE. 241 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,015 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 242 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,552 WHAT ABOUT A BROTHER'S LOVE, GEOFF? 243 00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,888 IT'S STEP-BROTHER. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOUR LEGS? 244 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:43,993 NOTHING, NOTHING. NO BIG DEAL. 245 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,034 I LOVE YOU. 246 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,558 LOOK, YOU'RE A NEAT GUY, GARY. 247 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,904 I'M TAKING YOUR STUPID BOW STAFF. IT'S A CURTAIN ROD. 248 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,099 YOU SUCK, GEOFF! 249 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,171 WELL, WELL, WELL, WELCOME BACK, BOYS. 250 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,440 I CANNOT WAIT TO MEET EVERYBODY'S TRUE LOVES. 251 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:58,268 I TOLD THAT BAT YOU BETTER EAT YOUR WHEATIES THIS WEEK. 252 00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:01,265 OH, AND I HAVE A LIVE VIDEO FEED FROM THAT TREE IN GERMANY. 253 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:02,738 -[ SNORING ] -OH, BOY. 254 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,776 DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE TROLL'S BEEN TOO BUSY, HUH? 255 00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,112 TAKING A LITTLE NAP. 256 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:07,506 OR...HE WAS DRUGGED. 257 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:12,247 CLAUDE! TRUE LOVE WILL FIND YOU! 258 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,015 THAT'S MY RIDE, LOSERS. 259 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,524 YOU DON'T DESERVE IT! 260 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,455 SEE YA LATER, DICKS! 261 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:20,392 NO! 262 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,397 GAH! YOU DON'T DESERVE IT! 263 00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:25,229 ** 264 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,895 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 265 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:30,374 HELLO, MY LOVE. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 266 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,403 HELP! 267 00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:32,608 HELP YOU? 268 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,780 I'M THE ONE WHO NEEDS HELP WITH ALL THESE GROCERIES, 269 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,238 YOU SILLY LAZY BONES. 270 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,081 UH-OH. 271 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:42,452 LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY HAD AN ACCIDENT. 272 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,322 [ Sobbing ] YOU WERE GONE SO LONG! 273 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,091 I COULDN'T HOLD IT IN! 274 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:49,259 YOU SHUT UP! YOU SHUT UP! OW! IT BURNS! 275 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:52,159 DO YOU WANT TO WATCH "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER"? YES, DEAR! 276 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,992 DID YOU EVEN PLAY WITH YOUR TOYS? 277 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,227 I BOUGHT YOU THOSE TOYS, 278 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,102 AND YOU DON'T EVEN PLAY WITH THEM! 279 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,130 I'M PLAYING WITH IT! 280 00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,595 I'M PLAYING WITH IT! 281 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,143 YOU DON'T APPRECIATE ANYTHING I DO FOR YOU! 282 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,839 I LOVE YOU. 283 00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,571 [ CANNED LAUGHTER ] [ Laughing ] HOW DO THEY EVEN DO IT? 284 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,566 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH. 285 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,977 OH, GOD, THAT BARNEY! 286 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,980 AFTER THIS, YOU ARE GONNA GET HARD 287 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,483 AND GIVE ME A BABY. 288 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:17,024 I'M JUST GONNA TURN UP THE VOLUME ON THE TV 289 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,620 SO WE CAN HEAR ALL THE SPOTS WHERE WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LAUGH. 290 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:23,664 WAIT, BUT, SWEETIE, I HAVE THE REMOTE RIGHT HERE. 291 00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:24,661 AAH! 292 00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:25,762 [ GLASS SHATTERS ] 293 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:26,763 [ GASPS ] 294 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:28,634 GET BACK HERE! 295 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:32,002 SATAN, LET ME JUST START OFF BY SAYING 296 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,632 I AM SO SORRY, OKAY? 297 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,097 YOU KNOW, I WAS REALLY PULLING FOR YOU GUYS, CLAUDE. 298 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,706 I HAD NO SAY IN THE MATTER. 299 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,838 YOU KNOW I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU. NO, I KNOW. 300 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,313 'CAUSE SHE MADE YOU FLIP ME OFF AND SAY, "SEE YA, DICKS." 301 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,183 SHE MADE ME SAY, "SEE YA, DICKS." 302 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:46,652 S-SHE'S GOT A POWER OVER ME. 303 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,450 Joanna: CLAUDE, HONEY! WHERE ARE YOU, BABE? 304 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,652 OH, CRAP. 305 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,194 OH, LOOKS LIKE TRUE LOVE HAS FOUND YOU AGAIN, CLAUDE. 306 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:56,020 OH, I SEE YOUR ASS UNDER THAT TABLE. 307 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,216 GET UP HERE! 308 00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,627 I THINK WE NEED SOME TIME APART! 309 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,699 I SWAM THROUGH A RIVER OF SHIT FOR YOU! 310 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:05,070 JOANNA! JOANNA! I'M OVER HERE! I LOVE YOU! 311 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,568 YEAH, HE'S GREAT! 312 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:09,839 NO! TRUE LOVE IS FOREVER CLAUDE! 313 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:13,210 -GOTCHA! WHOO! -AAH! 314 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,280 * 'CAUSE SOMEDAY, THIS'LL ALL BE GONE * 21926

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