All language subtitles for Shaft.2019.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO[EtMovies]

Now, you ain't got
fucking shit to say.

Now you wanna be quiet.

Now, when I got you
in front of my motherfucking face,

and I'm asking you questions...

What the fuck are you looking at?
I'm right here!

This is the fucking problem.

You don't show me no fucking respect,
and you don't listen.

I say the same shit to you

over and over and over and over again,

like I'm a motherfuking tape recorder.

Not to mention the fact that my apartment
smells like a fucking cow barn,

because of all your fucking
leather jackets.

And what is this, huh?

You're a grown ass man.

Open a fucking checking account.

Your name is Shaft, not Chase.

Nigga, I'm not gonna keep dealing
with this shit.

Now, I done told you, I don't know

who the fuck or what the fuck

you think this is. And you know what?

You think this shit is fun for me?

You think I like hearing myself,
repeat myself, repeat myself?

Hello? Are you even listening to me?

Course, I am, baby.

Come here.

Wanna do me a favor?

What?

Oh, fuck, no!

Fuck, no!

Who the fuck do you think I am?

You think I'mma put my sanctified lips
on that tainted community dick?

What the fuck?

- Okay, I'm gonna need a minute.
- Where are you going?

- Just stay here. I'll be right back.
- No! Don't go! Please don't go!

Shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh!

Weak shit, motherfucker.

Fucking Gordito.

Please don't!

Don't shoot! Please!

Girl, what's wrong with you?

You were saying something
about my bank account?

What the fuck was that?

What the fuck was that?
You said no one would hurt us here.

- Not in Harlem.
- It's not my fault, Maya.

No! John, this is different.

I can't... I can't. I can't. I'm not...

I gotta get him away
from all this.

- No! Maya.
- I gotta get him away from you!

Maya... don't do this.

...led by cutting over
255 million dollars...

OJ Simpson has been trying...

It's okay.

So y'all need to hide your kids,
hide your wife...

Move!

No, thanks.

Yeah.

- Drive safe.
- Okay, let's go.

Oh, seriously?

- Hey!
- Watch out, dipshit.

- Excuse me, sir, but it's a pedestrian...
- Yeah, yeah. Fucking millienials.

Seriously?

Excuse me. Sorry.

Boom!

Got you.

Yo, where the hell have you been, man?

I just got back.

But we need to talk about some shit.

So you down to hang?

Oh, what, "hang" hang? Like in person?

Hell, yeah, I'm down.

What's going on over there?

It's an ambulance. I just...
I'm walking to the hospital.

Hospital? You good?

- Do you mean, am I using?
- No.

No, that's not what I said.

I know you're looking out for me, man.
I appreciate that. Sorry.

I'm actually just going
for a routine check-up with...

your favorite doctor, in fact.

- Who? Sasha?
- Uh-huh.

Dang. Man, I bet she looks good in scrubs.

You know, I will tell her that
you've been thinking about that.

No. No, no, no. Come on. Don't do that.

No, J, you know I wouldn't do you
like that. Come on, now.

And plus, you're like
a badass FBI agent.

She might actually give you a shot.

I'm not an "agent" agent, per say.
I'm a data analyst.

Data analyst? Please tell me
you don't tell anyone else that.

Are you kidding me? Of course, I do.
Cyber's running shit around here.

Hey, Shaft.

- Aye.
- Conference room. Now.

Um, it's John, sir.

Okay, I gotta go.

Yeah, run shit, huh?

All right, everybody, listen up.

As expected, the White House

wants to ramp up cyber surveillance
of potential terrorist threats.

Specifically, we are keeping an eye

on the Rashad Azzam Mosque in Harlem,

and its cleric, Farik Bahar,

who's drawn our attention with his
frequent trips to Afghanistan.

Now, we are going to need
a complete digital blackout.

- Is that clear?
- Yeah.

The last thing I need is that asshole
from Channel Eight news

spewing some bullshit story
about Islamophobia

running rampant through the Bureau.

So heads on a swivel.

Okay, who wants lead on this?

Anyone else?

Wait, seriously? I can do this.

No. You can't.

Put me in the game, coach. I...

Listen, rookie. This isn't some bullshit
exercise they give you at the Academy.

This is the real world.

There's a certain hierarchy here
you need to respect.

Gotta give respect to get it.

I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
What did you just say?

How the hell did you hear that?

Listen, kid, I don't have time to deal
with the latest hotshot outta MIT

looking to flex his nuts.

I am dealing with daily terrorist threats,

the worst heroin epidemic
this city has ever seen,

and a seven year old daughter
who wants me to call her "Frank".

You are a rookie.

Know your fucking role.

Pasternack, you run the show.

Meeting dismissed.

You want another?

Happy Hour's almost up.

Yeah, sure. Why not?

Can't say no to a $16 wells.

Are you like...

an FBI agent or something?

Yeah, well...

Uh... I'm actually...

more of a data analyst
rather than an "agent" agent,

I'm kind of like a cybersecurity

expert...

Okay, she left.

Hm.

Again, bro. If someone is asking
if you're an FBI agent,

just say you're an FBI agent, man.

- Hey, man.
- Good to see you.

Especially if she looks like that.

- Oh, I got you a little surprise.
- Sasha!

Oh, my God!

- Hey!
- What's up?

Oh, it's good to see you.

Oh, you know, when I heard
that you guys were hanging out,

I had to invite myself.

Of course!

I mean, I can't even remember
the last time

the three of us were together.

What do you guys want to drink?
Let me...

- Thank you. Well, I'll have a club soda.
- Can I get a whiskey, please?

- I'm serious.
- What did you have to leave town for?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I had to send up some stuff

for, uh, my new business.

- New business?
- Wait.

He didn't tell you about
Brothers Watching Brothers?

No.

Yeah, damn. Okay, so...

It's this rehabilitation program

that me and my Army buddies started.

Basically the idea is to help vets
who were coming back,

who are going through

the same shit that I went through,
with addiction,

and so just sort of helping them out,
get them on their feet.

Oh, shit.

That's... Yo, that's what's up.

There's something else, too.

Something else?

Like what?

Um...

Sorry, guys. I actually... I gotta go.

- You gotta go?
- Yeah.

I gotta go. Some work stuff popped up.

You just said you're gonna
tell us something.

Yeah. And I'll just... text you
about it later in the week. I just...

There's something I gotta do.

Okay.

Yo! Karim.

You good?

What? Yeah. No, I'm fine.
Get back in there.

You said that you wanted to talk.
I figured we can talk right now.

No, man. No, that's...

I just want to say... uh, thank you.

Thank you for always being there for me,
for always...

you know, having my back.

Yeah.

- Go in there, go have fun.
- All right, I'm out.

Wish me luck.

Hey.

Hey, Ma. What's up?

Hey...

You okay?

I'm fine.

Ma. Hey, what's wrong?

JJ...

Um...

They found Karim.

He's dead.

Ready. Fire!

Ready. Fire!

Center face.

I just can't believe
he was using again.

He wasn't. He was clean.

JJ, don't make
any excuses for him, okay?

The police found him.

I don't care how they found him.

The light was back in his eyes.
You saw him.

You examined him, for Christ's sake.

Yeah. But my examination
doesn't negate what the police found.

To them, he's just
another dead junkie vet.

We need to find out
what really happened to him.

Well, you're in the FBI, aren't you?

Thanks.

Hey, which of these is the...

Give me your wallet! That's right.

Then I'll sit here all day.
My spot.

Maybe I can come over today
or tomorrow? I don't really matter.

Hey. You lost, B?

No.

No, I'm just... I'm chilling.

Yo, you a cop?

No.

I'm a FBI agent.

That's funny. You funny, B.

But for real, where you work?

Like Apple Store, or a Panera?

Oh, wait. You're one of them dudes

who make the fancy coffees
and shit, right?

A barista?

I knew it! You a bay-reesta!

Hey, yo, how you get the milk

to turn into that Cool Whip shit on top?

It takes years of practice,
all right, kid?

- Thanks for your help.
- Oh, crap.

That's that fool they found laid up,
tweaking off of Manny's shit.

Wait a minute. Who's Manny?

How you gonna ask me something like that?

You think I'm a snitch?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
- Well, I am.

For a price.

How much cash you got on you?

Are you...

I don't know, actually.

Okay, I usually use Apple Pay.

Let's see... I... Um...

- My gosh.
- Manny runs this block.

Anyone copping dope around here,
gets it from him.

That's his spot right there.

- Now move, bozo.
- Oh!

Perfect.

Oh! Hey, excuse me, miss.

Ten dollars.

For what?

Ten dollars, I'll suck your dick.

But for five,
I'll let you lick my titties.

No!

No, those are... those are
reasonable prices, but you know, I...

But what, motherfucker?

- What? You don't like titties?
- No, I love titties.

Titties are the best, right?

I just... You know, I had a big breakfast.

I didn't really anticipate
licking titties today.

- The fuck are you doing here, then?
- Well, I'm here looking for somebody.

Manny?

Somebody say my name?

Yeah, Manny.

Name's Manuel.

Only my friends call me Manny.

And you and me...

We ain't friends, are we?

No. No, we're not.

Oh, we ain't friends?

No! Yeah...

Wait a minute. Hold on. See, I just...

You know, I came here to ask you
about somebody

who's a mutual friend.

So that's gotta count for something,
right?

Here, let me just...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Come on, guys.

Where the hell did he come from?

Come on, now. I'm just
grabbing my cell phone.

See, I just... Hold on, I'm gonna...

show you something.

I'mma pull this picture up.

Shit, not that picture.

Hang on. Give me one second. This is...

This is dumb.
I just I hate this new update.

This shit is stupid.

Um... Here. Okay, okay.

Did he come in here, maybe last week,
looking to...

you know, make a purchase

from you, did he?

He didn't do that, no.
No, that doesn't make sense at all.

Look, I'mma... I'mma just get out of here,
you know. This is absolutely...

Ow!

Look, I'm just happy that you're okay,

and that this didn't
turn into a shootout or something.

It's kinda hard for it to escalate
into a shootout when you don't have a gun.

Like you ain't got a gun.
That's funny.

No. Like, I'm not a gun guy.

Not a gun guy?

JJ, you're in the FBI.

Even I have a gun.
And I live in the nice part of Brooklyn.

Do you know that most gunshot wounds
are self-inflicted?

Statistically speaking,
you're safer without one.

Not when you're in a drug house
investigating a murder.

Did you at least find anything?

Yeah, but it's nothing good.

All right.

So, I hacked into the medical examiner's
database and I pulled the initial

toxicology report.

The cops might have been right.

Looks like he OD'd.

Wait a minute.

There's no way that Karim
could've done this to himself.

The concentration levels are too high.

He would've OD'd
before he even finished using.

Who would do this to him?

Where are you going?

I gotta get Manny to talk.

Karim's body was found outside his place.
He has to know something.

You are not going back there.
Not without the police.

Manny is not talking to the police.

Okay.

So, if he won't talk to the police
and he won't talk to you,

then who is he gonna talk to?

Hello!

Oh!

Um...

Hi... Um...

I'm... I'm just...

I'm looking for...

- for...
- Shaft?

Mm-hm.

Is he here?

Right here, motherfucker.
Who's asking?

Oh, shit!

Um... I...

It's me. It's JJ.

JJ who?

JJ! John Shaft, Junior.

- Your son!
- My son?

Son? I thought you pulled out
on time, every time. Shit.

- Junior?
- Yeah.

Fuck you doing here?

Come on.

What the fuck are you wearing?

I thought "Irresistible" was
some kind of stripper name or some shit.

I looked at your driver's license,
and...

that shit's for real.

I'll call you.

No, you won't.

Yeah...

I will.

Hell of a Pilates teacher.

Do you want a drink?

I'm good.

I can fix you a bubbly water
with a wedge of lime,

if you like.

It's eleven o'clock in the morning.

Like you aren't shaming me
by suggesting that me drinking water

would actually be a bad thing.

And as for that wedge of lime,
it makes it an alkaline, so...

Oh, my God. Your mom
has really fucked you up.

No, she just raised me.

She didn't abandon me 25 years ago.

Whoa, whoa, pump your brakes now.

I did not abandon you.

It's a little more complicated than that.

Oh, okay. Well, I didn't realize
that it was complicated.

You know, in that case, all is forgiven.

You're standing here acting
like I ain't remember you.

Like I ain't send you shit
every birthday...

Like the condoms you sent me
when I was 10?

Remember that year I sent you
those VIP passes to Honeybuns

with the complimentary $500 stacks?

No.

Ah! Your mama didn't give you that, huh?

She's scared you're gonna

run into your grandma up in there.

You know, she had
more stripper girlfriends

than an Arab got hoes in the harem.

Could you not talk about
my grandmother like that, please?

Whoa. Whoa, whoa.

So my blood

is collecting checks from the FBI?

That's right.

Hm.

How's it feel, you working for the Man?

You mean having an actual job?

Like... paying taxes?

Not living off the grid
in an all-cash sublet? It's great.

So...

you in the city now?

Oh, no, don't tell me.

Uh... down in Soho, exposed brick loft,

with a bi-curious roommate,
with a little furry-ass dog.

And...

Oh! A farmhouse sink.

You've been stalking my Facebook?

I look like I'm on Facebook, motherfucker?

You come in here
with your skinny-ass jeans,

your button-down plaid Gap shirt,

and what looks like some
badminton fucking Nikes.

Any nigga with two eyes and a dick
could read you a mile away.

Oh, your mom did one hell of a job
turning you into a bona fide white boy.

Oh, what? 'Cause I shop at the Gap
and I have a college degree

and I know my FICO score,
that means I'm not black?

- Well, it kind of does.
- You know what?

I'm not doing this with you.

I didn't come here to argue
about my clothes,

or where I work,
or any of the father-son stuff

that you wanna talk about.
I'm here for business.

What kind of business
could your Don Lemon ass

have in my world?

I need your help.

I knew it!

I knew this day would come.

No matter how hard your mom
tried to kill that family shit in you,

those Shaft swimmers found their way
all the way up in that pussy, didn't they?

Come on. How far along is she?
How much you need?

No, there's no she.

I need to hire you.

I need your help for a case.

Oh.

You can't afford me.

You owe me.

Just consider it payback
for father figure deprivation.

Nigga, what?

Please don't use the N-word.

Okay.

What's the case?

- I think my best friend was murdered.
- You think?

It was ruled as an overdose,
but I have reason to believe...

Whoa. Stop right there.

I've heard all this before.

You've heard all of what before?

Friends and family of the junkies,

always looking for some other reason,

when a junkie is just a junkie.
Case closed.

You didn't know him. He was clean.

That overdose was bogus.

He had enough heroin in his system
to kill 10 people.

There's no way he could've
done something like that to himself.

I traced the supplier to this run-down
tenement in Harlem on 139th Street.

On 139th Street?

You sure?

Yeah.

Well, that's interesting.

Why is that interesting?

Who did that to you, son?

Don't act like you care about that.

No, no, no, no. You tell me

who put hands on you
like you're some little punk.

And you tell me right now.

All right, it's this... this henchman.

This guy named Manuel.

What?

One of Manny's push-up-doing punks
did that to you?

Yep.

That motherfucker must have lost
his goddamn mind.

Shit.

Um... What are you doing?

We gotta go handle our business. Come on.

Hey!

- Where are we going?
- Look, you either get in or get gone.

But if you get gone, you stay gone.

Ooh!

Damn, man. How old is this car?

No!

Your clicker's not working. Come on!

What? You're just gonna march
right in there?

You said you wanted my help.

Yeah, help finding out
who killed my best friend,

not help getting my ass kicked again.

Well, this is the streets, son.
What do you expect me to do?

I don't know.
I thought maybe you had his cell.

You could send a tersely worded text.

Oh, no, no, no. See, I'm anti-gun.

There's a reason I'm an analyst
and not an agent.

- That some of your mama's shit?
- No, it's some of your shit,

that turned into my mama's shit,
that turned into my shit.

I think.

That's some more of your mama's shit.
You think too much.

You know what?
I think I'm gonna wait in the car.

That's what your mom would do.

Unbelievable.

Some of my mama's shit.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fine!

What'd I tell you about that last time?

Shit! My arm!

groans

The fuck you doing?

My man.

I'm supposed to be meeting
my real estate agent here.

But you know,
the virtual tour she sent me,

I could have sworn this place
had a lot more light.

What? Look, man,
I don't know what the fuck you...

Oh, my God! I thought you
was really gonna shoot him.

- Get their guns.
- Okay. Yeah.

I got it. I'mma be taking these.

Now, which one of these motherfuckers
lay his hands on you?

- Um... That one.
- Him? Oh.

- Oh, shit, no. I pointed at the other one!
- Yeah, I know,

but since you're gonna be
whooping his ass, I wanted to make sure

he didn't jump in.
You are gonna whoop his ass, right?

Um...

Oh, no!

Where's Manny?

How's he supposed to answer you?
You're crushing his nuts.

No. When I get leverage on the wall

and lean like this, I'm crushing

his nuts. Where's Manny?

Yo, what the fuck is going...

Manny!

Shaft?

Qué pasa, shitbag?

What do you want?

What do I want?

Wow, it's so long

since somebody asked me that.

Well, now that you asked,

I want cheap,
over-the-counter erectile cream.

Uh... I want Jodeci and Al Green

to drop a Christmas album.

I want 24 hours uninterrupted
with Halle Berry,

hence the erectile cream.

But what I really want to know,

is why you...

didn't afford my son...

the respect associated
with the Shaft

family name.

That's your son?

Pride and joy.

He's running?

- Yeah.
- Shoot him.

- Where are the guns you picked up?
- Oh... Um... I threw those out the window.

You don't throw guns out an open window!

- Kids live up here!
- Oh!

Damn!

- Move!
- Hey!

Son of a...

Gentrification's a bitch, ain't it?

Here, cover.

- uh...
- Take the gun!

What the fuck!

Oh! Damn!

Yo, your pinkie just got fucked up.

Show him the goddamn picture, will you?

Oh... Ah...

So, my friend's body

was found outside your building last week.
So, what?

Was he buying drugs from you?

- Can't hear you!
- No, no, no, look, look, look.

I don't know what he was doing there.
He used to cop from me,

but I ain't seen him in a while,
ever since he was fucking

with that
Brothers Watching Brothers bullshit.

Brothers Watching Brothers?

Damn, son. Sounds like your boy
might've been on the down low.

Anything you wanna tell me?

What?

- No.
- You sure?

'Cause that damn sure would explain
a whole lot of shit.

Yes, I'm sure.

So you like pussy?

Yes, I like... I like pussy. Yeah.

The way you say "pussy,"
it don't sound like you like it.

Describe what a pussy look like.

It's got this little...
No, you know what... Fuck. Listen, man.

Brothers Watching Brothers
is a rehab center for Army vets.

- For real?
- Yes!

- For real?
- For real?

Yes!

- That all?
- Look, that's all I know. All right?

All right, then.

For real, though?

Them motherfuckers need a new name.
See, Manny, that wasn't hard, was it?

You broke my whole fucking hand!

I broke two fucking fingers!

This...

is me breaking your whole fucking hand.

I hate it when motherfuckers exaggerate.

Oh, and you fucked up my coat.
That's gonna be $100 to get it cleaned.

God.

- Hundred dollars.
- Oh...

- Wow.
- All right, then.

- That's...
- We're good.

- Get in the fucking car.
- Holy...

Aggravated assault,

illegal use of a firearm, torture?

You didn't just break laws,

you committed human rights violations.

So?

So?

I work for the FBI.

I can't be aiding and abetting

the city's highest-profile sociopath
as he just tears through Harlem

one drug dealer at a time.

Look, you asked for my help,
I gave you my help.

You don't like the way
the sausage is made,

close your eyes when you're eating it.

The fuck kind of metaphor is that?

I think what you're trying to say

is "thank you".

Yeah.

Right. Thanks.

Could you drop me off, please?

I think coming to you was a mistake.

- I'll take it from here.
- Take what from here?

I'm going to Brothers Watching Brothers.
See what I can find out.

Fuck that! We are going
to Brothers Watching Brothers.

- We?
- Yeah, we.

If you're gonna pursue this investigation,
I'mma have to babysit your ass.

You're the worst father ever.

No, that would be mine.

But I can't have your ass out here
in these streets,

besmirching our family name.

Hello.

Welcome to Brothers Watching Brothers.

How can I help you?

Stop. Yes. Hi.

- We were actually just hoping to talk...
- Yo!

Could whoever's in charge
of this motherfucker come up front?

Why do you... Really?

Can I help y'all?

Sorry about that. I'm JJ.

- This is...
- Shaft. John Shaft.

Ignore him.

He thinks he's the black James Bond.

If that motherfucker was real,
he'd think he was me.

Please... Stop.

I'm Major Gary Cutworth. We like to keep
it a little casual around here.

Around here just call me Cutty.

What can I do for you fellas?

I was hoping to talk to you
about a friend of mine, Karim?

Yeah.

I remember seeing you at the funeral.
Everything okay up here?

Yeah. Gentlemen...

meet Sergeant Keith Williams,
Staff Sergeant Eddie Dominguez.

These fellas are friends of Karim's.
They want to talk.

Why don't y'all come back?

- We'll have some coffee.
- Yeah, decaf for me.

- What's that?
- I'd love a decaf.

We opened this facility two years ago,

and we conduct therapy,
both physical and mental,

not to mention a majority of our staff
that work here are retired vets.

We help them feel more comfortable

transitioning from service
to the workforce.

Last year, we started bringing

back donated vehicles damaged
from overseas missions,

and we refurbish them here,

sell them, help make profits
for our rehab operations.

It's crazy for us to go through those
three tours together

and to just lose Karim like that.

Yeah, it's tough. It's real tough.

Hell, why didn't he just come to us?

Maybe he was scared to.

Scared? You ever been to war?

Frontlines, Harlem, '80's.
That work for you?

What Dom's trying to say is that

the war really took its toll
on a lot of men.

The drinking, drugs, and...

Karim was just... He was worst of all.

He just couldn't cope.

Yeah, and with the lack of funding
and the red tape,

the VA couldn't even begin
to start helping.

That's why we started this place.

Brothers Watching Brothers.

Built for soldiers, by soldiers.

See, now that's a better name.

And no surprise,
this place was Karim's idea.

That's why it was so strange
when he started pulling away.

- Pull out? What?
- Away. He said, "pulling away."

Yeah, ever since he... found religion,

he basically stopped coming around.

Karim? Religious?

He was never that guy.

Well, he started going to a mosque uptown
after he met his girl, Anam.

The Rashad Mosque.

Yeah, I think that's right.
Once they got together,

that's where he spent all his time.

That's probably where
he fell back into using.

Shit, man. You know what? I don't think
I wanna talk about this anymore.

Hey, no, look. I'm sorry.
What exactly are y'all looking to find?

- Uh, we were just trying to get some...
- Closure.

Just trying to get some closure here,
that's all.

Yeah. Thanks, fellas.

Yeah. Of course.

- Appreciate it.
- Of course.

Mm-hm.

Thanks for your help, guys.
I appreciate it.

The hell is the matter with you?

Something ain't right
about that Dominguez motherfucker

not making eye contact and shit.

Maybe 'cause he's upset
he just lost his friend.

I'm more concerned
about that Anam girl in the mosque.

You know, the FBI monitors that place

- for terrorist activity.
- So you think your boy

- might've been a terrorist?
- What? Of course not! No.

Sounds like you're saying
your friend was a terrorist.

That's pretty fucked up, if you ask me.

Are you insane?

Karim was my best friend. I'm just saying
that there has to be a reason

he didn't tell me
about that part of his life.

Yeah! 'Cause that motherfucker
was a fucking terrorist!

- Jesus.
- No, Allah.

Come on, man. White people
don't even listen to this shit.

Come on.

Uh-oh...

Mm-hm.

Now that's what I'm talking about.
Now that is music.

Whoo-hoo! I think you might've
been conceived to this song.

Thanks for that.

Man, where are you going?

My place is in the opposite direction.

I'm smarter than GPS, motherfucker.
I know that.

- We gotta make a pit stop.
- Oh!

No. Please, no. I'm exhausted.
Can you just take me home?

No can do.

You coming with.

No.

No, I think I've seen enough
of Harlem's underbelly for today.

I think I'm
all good on this one.

You wanna solve your case, right?

That's...

Hey, what does this place have to do
with solving the case?

Just trust me, okay?

Trust you?

You know, I really don't think
you understand what that word means.

You've got to be fucking kidding me!

Trust you, really?

First drink's on me.

You said that we were
coming here for the case.

We are. We're here to clear our heads,
blow off some steam.

That's the key to solving any case.

No, I'm not about to go clubbing with you.

And why the fuck not?

You're a 60 year old man,

and it's a Tuesday.

Rule number one.
Any woman that dresses up

to comes out on a Tuesday night,
is my kind of woman.

How you think I met your mom?

Okay, that's that's enough with the rules.
You know what? I'm out of here.

Excuse me, gentlemen.
These are courtesy of those two ladies.

Who-ho! Rule number two.

Never turn down free drinks
from a beautiful lady.

Hey, Shaft! Looking good.

Yeah, when are you gonna let us
give you the two-for-one special? Mm?

Who's your friend?

Oh, ladies.
This is my son, Junior.

- Oh, my God, you have a son?
- Look, I always get y'all mixed up.

- Baby.
- And Sugar.

- Sugar!
- Come here.

Oh, okay. Come on, now.
Wait, those can't be your real names.

I bet there is nothing junior
about this Shaft.

Well, too bad you're not gonna
have the chance to find out,

'cause he was just about to leave.

What? No. Stay and have
a couple more drinks with us.

Um...

You know you want to.

- Maybe one... one more drink.
- Okay, it's lit!

Go! I said move.

Get away. Thank you.

- Andre, we got a new friend.
- Mm-hmm.

Three of our favorites, Buttery Nipples.

- Have you ever had a Buttery Nipple?
- Just put it in your mouth.

- Oh, um...
- Cheers!

- Whoo!
- Whoo!

- Okay, okay.
- Just put it in your mouth. In, in.

Yeah, then swallow it.

You've been out of that boy's life
20-some-odd years.

Now all of a sudden
you wanna play daddy?

- That's fucked up, you know that?
- Play daddy?

Don't bullshit me, Shaft. You hear me?

You think you could tear up half of Harlem
chasing down Manny with your kid

and me not hearing about it?

Don't nothing happening in these streets
without me knowing.

Yeah, and that's why I'm here.

Junior's got a lead, and I think
it's gonna take me straight to Gordito.

Now, that rat motherfucker is about
to stick his head up out his hole,

and I'm gonna whack-a-mole
the shit out of him.

I need you to get some info
on this dude for me.

Name, Eddie Dominguez. Army vet.

Think he's involved with Gordito,
works over at

Brothers Watching Brothers.

That's a terrible motherfucking name.

Yeah, they need to change that shit.

I'll see what I can do.

So, you're saying that
with an associate's degree,

I can then apply for night classes?

Mm-hmm.

- And get my bachelor's?
- Absolutely, yes.

Dreaming and scheming is so sexy.

Oh, girl, let's dance!

Oh, this is my song.

Oh, God! Y'all so strong.

Of course, you know,
if Maya hear about this...

Maya don't know shit.

- And she ain't gonna know shit, all right?
- Okay.

It's...

Gordito's slimy ass has been
slipping through my fingers

since before this kid was born.

This shit is personal.

Now, if Junior is my ticket
to finally nailing his ass...

well, that's motherfucking
street poetic justice.

You feel me?

Besides, I'm looking out for the boy.

I've put him in the Baby-Sugar sandwich.

You gonna be out here
with this shit on?

Yeah. That's some good
looking out right there.

What, you think you sexy?

- Oh, shit!
- ...not doing...

Bring me back
a drink or something, Shaft!

Yeah, you might wanna hurry.

- Get your hands off me!
- Oh, shit!

The fuck you doing over here with him?

Who fucking told you to come to the club?
What the fuck you got on?

Whoa, whoa, hold on there, partner.
You don't want none of this.

No, no, no, I got it. Trust me.

He's just upset
'cause he's wearing silk.

Get your hands off me, motherfucker!

I'll smack the shit out of you, man!

What you gonna do, man?

Bob and weave, nigga.

You motherfucking dancing?

Nigga...

- Shit!
- Shit!

Oh! Did you see that shit?

See? Like father, like son.

Oh, shit!

Oh, go to sleep, big fella.

One!

Two! Three!

Oh! He down, man!

Ah, yeah!

Ah. It's good!

What the fuck was that?

It's capoeira.

What?

It's...

Brazilian dance-fighting.

Ma had me take lessons
when I was a kid, so...

And when I get drunk,
it just comes out sometimes.

I was this far from being proud of you.

What?

I can teach you, man.
Come, do this. All right.

- Hey!
- Sugar! Baby!

Where were...

Oh!

What the fuck!

Rule number three.

Never throw up on the hot girl
that's feeling you.

Whoo! What the fuck!

I feel like I just
stepped into an apartment display

at Pier 1 Imports or some shit.

Oh, no.

Is that a lemon tower?

You know what that says to me?

"I hate pussy."

No, it makes a house a home.

No, it makes a homo house.

Hey...

Not cool. You cannot use
the H-word anymore.

Oh, really? So what are you then?

You're a metrosexual?

A heteronormative? Cisgender?

Fluid? Stop me when I tick your box.

I don't feel good.

Want ginger ale?

I need some medicine.

It's on my desk.

All right.

You gotta puke, puke in that.

Sasha texted.

Ah! Late night booty call.

Maybe I underestimated you.

No, we're just friends.

Survey says: I didn't.

Oh! I fucked up.

I told her we we're going to the mosque.

Now she wants to come.

"No.

It could be dangerous.
What if something goes down?"

A lot of concern for somebody
whose ass you ain't tapping.

Look, me and Sasha...

Just no... There's no ass tapping.

Ah! But you wanna be
tapping that ass, though, don't you?

- Uh...
- Right?

Yeah.

We all got that one special girl.

Hey, could you grab me
a coconut water, please?

Yeah, coconut water, coming up.

I could use the electrolytes.

Oh!
You still got this?

Hm.

Oh!

Yo!

Now, you know this is
a real Super Bowl ring, right?

Got this from L.T.

Did him a serious favor back in the day.

Shit!

Whoo!

Jesus! My head is killing me.

Oh, don't be that
whiny hangover guy, son.

Nobody likes that guy, you know.

Just frown, grab your head, and say,

"Damn, I kicked it too hard last night.

I am fucked up."

That's the guy everybody
wants to hang with.

- Oh, shit. Sasha.
- Thought you said she wasn't coming.

She wasn't. But, you know,

she's not exactly the type
to take no for an answer.

Well, well, well.

You must be Sasha.

Yeah, literally just told him that.

Uh... Yeah, I am, and who are you?

This is the private detective
that I've been working with.

He's also kind of my dad.

Shaft.

John Shaft.

Wow.

I'm sorry, I just...

I wouldn't know what you look like
because, you know,

you haven't shown up
for the last 25 years.

Oh, beautiful and fiery.

What is he doing here, JJ?

He's helping.

Really?

I doubt it.

Okay.

Now that we're all acquainted...

- I thought it was a good question.
- Yeah. I'm sure.

- Yeah...
- You okay?

I'm just...

I'm not feeling, um...

Ah, damn, I kicked it too hard last night.
I'm fucked up.

He took me out last night.
We blew off some steam.

You should have seen
this motherfucker in the club.

He was tearing it up.

JJ, turning up on a Tuesday, huh?

On a goddamn Tuesday.
Can you believe that?

No.

Boy's got more Shaft than I thought.

Yeah, well, let's hope that there's
a prescription for that. Shall we?

Yeah.

Prescribe something
for them tight-ass jeans

cutting off the blood to your brain.

This is not feeling
like a terrorist training ground.

I still don't know.

Is that the girl from the funeral?

- That has to be Anam.
- Yeah.

May I help you?

We'd like to talk to Anam.

We didn't get a chance to meet,
but we're childhood friends with Karim

and we'd really like
to ask you some questions.

I met Karim not long after he returned
from the war.

We didn't start dating
until early last year.

That's when he got clean.

Everything was so perfect.

Did Karim have any enemies?

Somebody want to do him harm?

No.

He had so much to live for.

He was building our new youth center.

Oh!

Yeah, that's nice.

- Any way we can look inside?
- No!

You may not.
This is highly inappropriate.

- You cannot speak to my daughter.
- Please excuse my father.

You're father's Imam?

Yes.

Sir... Please excuse us.

No. You must leave now.

So...

are you a Muslim from a Muslim country...

or did you find Allah in some cell block?

What did you say to me?

Can we just calm down
for one second, please?

Zakat? Zakat?

Yes. Yes. Zakat. How about a...

a donation, as a sign of good faith?

Hey, you got change for a 10?

What is that? FBI?

You are FBI.

What? Where'd you get
that crazy idea from?

Do I look like I'm in the FBI?

Out! Out at once!

Jeez.

You know, I'm trying to give homeboy
the benefit of the doubt,

but that motherfucker is annoying.

I need to find out how much zakat
it's gonna take to build one of those.

Oh, I'm thinking a shitload for sure.

Only problem is, my laptop's
registered to the Bureau.

I need to get to a computer
they can't trace.

I got a computer you can use,
in my office.

Whoa!

Where'd you get a computer?

I won it in a game show called

"Beat the Shit Out of a Piece-of-Shit
Drug Dealer and You Get to Keep his Shit."

Cute.

So, I have a shift to catch
at the hospital.

- I'm gonna talk to you later, okay?
- Okay. I'll call you.

- Okay.
- Or, you know what, I can text you.

Because we've got text history

for days, so I can...

Yeah. Get the thumbs working on that.

Why the hell can't you young people
just talk to each other?

Fuck a text.

It's a phone. Call her.

Or better yet, why don't you just
take her to dinner,

and debrief her over the meal?

Dinner?

That actually sounds really nice.

It does.

Yeah. Yeah!

- I'll call you about dinner.
- Awesome.

- I'll talk to you later.
- Okay.

Bye.

All right, thanks.

You got to stop being
so afraid of women, son.

You know, women...

want a man to be a man.

They don't want some pussy.

Well, some women want some pussy.

And some women want both.

That's my preference. But...

in general, women want a man to be manly.

I'm pretty sure women don't like
being told what it is that they like.

See, that's the shit I'm talking about.

Men used to be men.

Now, you millennial motherfuckers
are running around

worrying about what women think,
and how they feel,

and apologizing and shit.
It's embarrassing.

Apologizing is embarrassing?

Yes. Men don't apologize.

That's a trap they set for us.

Real men just own their shit.

No. Real men take responsibility
for what they do.

Real men are strong enough to admit
when they're wrong.

Real men are strong enough
to put their foot

in a motherfucker's ass
when they get pissed off.

What is that? The Shaft family motto?

It's an unwritten rule, Stephen A.

Shit.

- Who that?
- It's Ma.

Do not tell her you're with me.

Oh!

Look who's being a little bitch now.

You're about to be the victim
of the unwritten rule.

- Don't fuck around.
- Uh-huh.

Hey, Ma.

Hey, baby.

I'm just checking in.

Oh, you know what? I'm so, so happy

that you called.

Ma, you will not believe
who I've been hanging out with.

Who?

Sasha.

Aww, Sasha. I love her.

I'm so glad you two have each other
to get through this.

- You tell her I say hi.
- I will.

Listen, I'd love to see you this weekend.
I'm coming into the city tonight

- for a date.
- With who?

Since when do you
care about me dating?

No, you're right. Sorry, Ma.

Forget I even said anything.

He's picking me up

from the hotel and taking me
to this place called Trista's.

Oh.

Well, that's good.

Well, just call me
when you get in town, all right?

- I love you. Talk to you later.
- I love you, too, baby.

- Bye.
- All right, bye.

How many motherfuckers
your mom been with since me?

Nine or ten maybe.

Oh! So nothing serious.

Cool.

Wait a minute.
If you don't use a computer,

how do you keep track
of all your case files?

I got a system.

Unbelievable.

You have unlimited information
available to you in seconds,

the tools to store
and to organize all your files.

Graphics, music, HD porn,
and that's just...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, HD porn?

Can you hook that up to the TV?

Music, too.

Whoa.

All the mosque files are encrypted.

Like... crazy encrypted.

Shouldn't they be?

Yeah, if they're up to
some real shady shit.

All right, I'm gonna
have to work some magic

if I'm gonna have any chance
of phishing the quantum network

and converging the endpoint
protection platforms to unlock this data.

Yeah, okay.

Well, you do what you do.

I'm in.

Wait, come look at this.

Five hundred thousand dollars
directly deposited

to the cleric's personal account
from El Supemercado Fantastico.

I've been in this neighborhood forever.
I ain't never heard of that one.

Well, apparently, this one just opened up.

A grocery store...

gave a half million dollars
to the cleric, directly.

Who that?

It's my boss.

Agent Vietti.

Why am I looking at
an empty desk?

I'm sorry.
You know that mosque?

I think I found some information.

The one I specifically told you
to stay away from?

- Well, yeah. I know, but...
- You disobeyed a direct order.

You placed a highly classified
operation in jeopardy.

Effective immediately,
you're on administrative leave.

What?

For how long?

Till I think you know your fucking role!

Administrative leave.

"Know my fucking role"?

I'm the best analyst they've got.

That's what you get
for working for the Man.

So...

you gonna stay on the porch....

or you gonna come run
with the big dogs?

We're going grocery shopping.

Oh, my bad.

Who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck am I?

Puta cucaracha...

Oh! I'm sorry.

He doesn't know how to properly
speak to women.

We're just here...

looking for the owner, Bennie.

I'm Bennie.

And again...

who the fuck are you?

Oh, could you give us one moment, please?

Yo, what is wrong with you?

She picked up a bat.

So what're you gonna do?
You're gonna break her fingers, too?

You can't beat up a woman.

- Why not?
- Because she's a woman!

That's like... misogynistic.

You're the one being misogynistic.
I ain't mention no gender.

You the one bringing up
her being a woman and shit.

- I don't give a fuck about her gender.
- Okay.

I'm an equal opportunity ass-whooper.

Okay, just... Can I handle this?

Thank you.

Hi, Bennie.

We don't want any trouble. You know,

we just came to ask you
just a couple of questions.

- Oh!
- Damn!

I was just trying to talk.

Now, my son says I can't put hands on you

'cause you're a woman.

Now, since I can't whoop your ass,

I'm gonna have to beat the shit...

out of your shit.

What the fuck?

Oh, there's no non-violent people
in Harlem?

Junior.

Oh, damn, she's strong.

I think she's ready to talk.

Oh, it's bleeding.

You know this guy?

Se parece a un come mierda...

English, please.

The boy speaks Mexican, not Puerto Rican.

No.

What about a guy named Farik?

Oh, oh! So you do know Farik.

Well, let's talk about
that 500k you sent

Farik and his friends at the mosque.

Hey. You better find
a whole new answer or something,

because he's running out
of things to shoot.

The mosque is a staple of the community.

Supermercado is proud
to support all groups.

- Really?
- Really.

Hey, you remind me...

Bennie.

Have you and me...

ever done the... horizontal boogie?

No, papi.

I'd remember fucking a black guy
dressed like Morpheus from Matrix.

Coño! That shit was ostrich!

I don't give a fuck.

What was that for?

I'm sick of these Laurence Fishburne
comparisons. It's just getting old.

Oh.

You know what?

We're gonna leave you alone.

Yippee.

Hasta la vista... Bennie.

I meant to say that shit
like Schwarzenegger.

Oh, yeah. You gotta be deeper.

Hasta la vista.

I know I've seen

Bennie somewhere before.

I ain't sure she wasn't lying
about me tapping that ass.

You've gotta be kidding me, man.

You're never gonna find anything
on her in this mess.

Ta-da!

No way.

How'd you just do that?

I told you, I got a system.

This is my "Puerto Ricans
I don't trust" file.

You literally have
a racist-based catalog system?

Ain't that how the FBI does it?

Yeah, pretty much.

God-motherfucking-damn!

Got her!

Oh, shit. That's Bennie!

Mm-hm.

Who's this dude that she's with?

That is Pierro "Gordito" Carrera.

He's been the head of Las Caras boys,

you know, the baddest gang up in Harlem,

since like forever.

Those motherfukers

were the ones responsible for bringing
crack into the hood in the '80's.

Now, they're the reason
45's talking about

"an opioid epidemic."

But what I can't figure out,
is what business

a motherfucker like this
has got with a mosque.

Maybe Supermercado Fantastico
is just a front

for the Las Caras' drug money.

You know, they could be using

the cleric's mission trips

over to Afghanistan to bring in heroin.

Karim probably found out about it,
and they killed him

because he was gonna
blow the whistle on the whole thing.

That's very, very possible.

Damn. I can't wait to push this
in Vietti's stupid face.

No, no, no, no.

We're gonna solve this shit ourselves.

Then, I tell you the Shaft way

to tell that dick head boss of yours
to kiss your ass.

- No, that's... that's what I meant.
- But first, we gotta put eyes on Bennie.

So we can get some proof.

So, I'mma go out, get some coffee,

a bunch of Papaya dogs, and we gonna do
an old-fashioned stakeout.

How about we don't do anything

that starts with "old-fashioned"?

I...

planted a micro-cam on Bennie's desk.

Hm.

So, you know, we can watch the footage
back tomorrow morning.

Take the night off, Big Dog.

I'mma go get dressed
for dinner with Sasha.

Hanging out with Mom after.

Why the fuck would you be
hanging out with your mom after,

when you should be knee-deep in pussy?

Knee-deep?

I don't even know what direction the...

You know what? Nevermind. You're right.

I don't know where in the world
I would be without your fatherly wisdom.

Better late than never.

Go tear that ass up, son.

Oh, you wanna use my car?

No, I don't have no driver's license.

Me, neither.

And, son, remember.

It's your duty... to please that booty.

Give her the Shaft, Big Boy.

This is crazy.

You're telling me that the cleric
and this gang are working together?

Yeah, it was hard for me
to believe that at first, too.

Even if any of this is true,
why would Karim

- have anything to do with it?
- I don't know,

but I'mma find out.

And when I do,
whoever killed him is gonna be sorry.

Starting to sound a lot like your dad.

What?

Are you serious?

Hm-hm.

You motherfucking think I sound
like that goddamn motherfucker?

He's actually really funny, though.

And you should see the way the people
in Harlem react to him. He's like...

a legend.

Well, I mean, I'm happy your dad's funny,

but it doesn't make up for the fact

that he abandoned you when you were a baby
and wanted nothing to do with you.

All right. Look.

He's obviously...

screwed up.

Borderline insane.

But, deep down, I feel like
he's actually an okay dude.

Don't get me wrong.

There's no way that I'm just gonna forget
that he abandoned me as a kid.

Okay.

Hi.

- Would you like me to take your coat?
- Oh, sure. Thank you.

Ooh, lookie here.
Will someone call Ripley's,

'cause this woman
is too beautiful to be believed.

Thank you so much.

Well, you know,
you don't look so bad yourself.

Well, you know, I do what I do.

...goddamn pants on. You L.T.

You're a Super Bowl hero.

Not LD, porno star.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

You know him?

Unfortunately.

Who is he exactly?

Just somebody who destroys everything
he touches and never seems to go away.

Oh, he's a contractor.

I'm sorry, I'm... I'm...

I just...

I just need to go to the bathroom.

Okeydokey.

Uh...

I'm sorry?

Okeydokey.

Okeydokey.

That is what you said.

I'll be waiting.

Oh, lookie here!

Maya! Maya!

Ghetto rose.

Gracing Harlem with your presence.

Damn, girl. You're looking good.

How long has it been?

Mm... Never long enough.

I can see you're enjoying
yourself as usual.

Lady Syphilis.

Madam Chlamydia.

It's lovely to meet you both.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I am actually on a date.

That's where the guy pays for your dinner
before you have sex with him and...

not all three.

Try it.

- Good seeing you.
- Bad seeing you.

That's Junior's mama. She a little bitter.

Don't worry about her, though.
Come on, now.

How did this motherfucker
know where I was?

Is this motherfucker following me?

He's trying to...

He's trying to get me back.

Motherfucker, I don't want you back!
And I'm happy. I'm so happy.

I gonna be the happiest bitch.

The girls weren't even cute.

Did they look sad to you?
They looked sad to me.

I like a nigga with no swag.

I'm about the swagless
motherfucker with a check.

You think 'cause you walking
around here smelling good...

I'm not even mad.
And, and 'cause you got a big fucking...

I mean, honestly.

Fucking niggas.

Cheers.

What the fuck?

My man. VSOP, time three.

Make that one Chardonnay.

Chardonnay.

What are you doing?

I'm vetting homie here.

I heard you kicked 10 motherfuckers
to the curb. So this must be

- number 11.
- No, no.

That is not true.

It's five at most.

Still no luck replacing
that magic stick, huh?

Motherfucking magic stick...
You think I'm talking about...

Excuse me?
No offense, but this is a table for two.

- Yes, it is.
- Two people.

One, two.

It is, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Ron, let's go. I told you
he was an asshole.

Oh, come on, Maya.
You know that's not true.

I don't cause problems.

I solve them.

Well, solve this.

- Maya?
- What?

Duck.

What the fuck?

Feel like old times, don't it?

John!

Roll, baby, roll. Don't stop.

Get 'em, Shaft!

Whoop his ass!

Ron, calm the fuck down!

Stop screaming like a bitch, Ron!

Fuck!

Why is it every time I'm around
you it's a fucking gun fight?

So now you're trying to act like a little
gun fight don't still turn you on?

Why do you think
that shit turns me on?

Them hard ass nipples.

This is not a joke, John.

This is why JJ and I had to leave
your ass in the first place, remember?

Oh, shit. Junior.

Junior? What do you mean "Junior"?

Please tell me

that you did not get him
involved in your bullshit.

- Do you drive?
- No.

- Excuse me, Maya. I don't think...
- Did you drive?

Awesome. Come on.

Excuse me, but it's my car.

The date ain't over. Come on!

It is a lease.
Could you be a little more careful?

I don't know what the fuck is going on,
but if you don't get our son out of this

- shit that you got him into...
- Maya, I didn't get him into...

You're his father! He's your son!

And not that I expect you to understand
what that means, but there is

- one fucking rule. You keep him safe.
- I'm trying.

No, John Shaft.

You're failing. Again!

I still can't believe
that you're in the FBI.

What?

You used to get your ass kicked
when we were kids.

What was that guy's name?

- Mike Mitchell.
- Yes.

He would steal your pudding cup
at lunch every day.

Until Karim dropped his ass

in front of the whole school.

- Remember that?
- Mm.

He had to give me a pudding cup

- every day after that.
- Mm-hm.

Surprise!

That sounds like him.

Happy birthday!

Move, move!

I thought you were joking when you said
you had a gun.

- It's my First Amendment.
- No, that's freedom of speech.

Let me see this thing.

Get over here!

Somebody help!

I hate guns.

Sash! You okay?

Yeah.

What the fuck?
Where did you learn how to do that?

I said I wasn't a gun guy.
I didn't say I couldn't shoot.

Oh.

Yeah.

Got your ass.

Oh, this can't be good.

Oh, my God.

- Ma?
- JJ!

Oh, I'm so glad you're okay.

So y'all all right?

Ooh!

Good job, son.

Yeah, regular chip off the same
fucked up block.

Don't do that anymore.

Ow. You're worse than the shooters.
Dad, check this out.

I got this off of one of the shooters,

and I traced the hit
straight back to Bennie.

- Boom!
- That's not all.

Look, this is thing full of messages
about a huge drop.

You can get all this from the carrier.
Nothing's ever really erased.

- Until you delete it.
- No. That's what I'm saying.

Like, you can't truly delete
anything ever.

Even like pictures you text?

- Yeah, they're still on the server.
- For real?

- Yeah.
- Oh, shit.

- No. No. No.
- No, it's okay. This is mine. JJ used it.

- Oh, it's pretty. I like the purple... Oh.
- And he's gonna buy me bullets.

Wait a minute. Look at this.

Another shipment from Afghanistan.

Say anything about Gordito being there?

Um... No.

But between this and the bank statements,
that's more than enough

evidence to tie the Las Caras gang

to the cleric, right?

So what's next?

We go back up
to the Supermercado Fantastico

and bust some heads open?

You know, now...

just might be the right time
to turn the case over to the FBI.

What?

Wait, what happened to solving
this shit ourselves?

You did!

Now you get to rub your dickhead boss's
face in it, you dig?

Yep.

I...

I dig, I guess.

Are you sure about that?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure.

JJ... Are you okay?

So Maya and John Shaft
have a baby together.

You know, they say
that cat Shaft is a bad mother...

Shut the fuck up.

Disturbing and frightening footage
coming out of Harlem

where a team of FBI agents raided
the Rashad Azzam Mosque this afternoon.

No word on what exactly
they were looking for,

but the Bureau has acknowledged
that no evidence of foul play

or terrorist ties were discovered.
Leaving many left

to wonder, does the FBI
have a racist Islamophobic bias?

Fuck me.

You know, for him to just automatically
assume we're Islamophobic,

- is actually racist for him.
- Shut up.

I can't believe I listened to you.

- What? What about all the evidence?
- You think you can fuck up this badly

and not leave here
with all your shit in the box?

We haven't even gotten
to your little firefight,

the illegal search of the bank records.

We're done here.

Leave your badge and your ID.
Clear out your shit.

Yo, who this?

Yeah, I got
that information you wanted

on the Dominguez kid.

Talk to me.

Clean, as far as I can tell.

Decorated soldier.

Nothing but love
from everybody in the neighborhood.

Only thing is...

His family.

- What about them?
- A cousin.

Runs with Las Caras' boys.

She washes the money, from what I hear.

This cousin got a name?

Sure do.

Bennie Rodriguez.

All right, my man.

You always come through for me.

Goddamn right.

So I guess now that you got
this lead on Gordito's ass,

you can finally stop
fucking around with Maya's kid?

- Yeah. Something like that.
- I'll holla.

Wow.

And to think this whole time, I actually
thought that you wanted to help me.

- It's not like what you...
- You've been using me...

to solve your own case.

When I first came to you about Karim,

the first thing that crossed your mind
wasn't that it could lead to Gordito?

Yeah, that's exactly what I thought.

But now you got what you needed.

You can abandon me again and go ahead
and follow him now, right?

What am I supposed to do?

Hm? Dominguez is a trained soldier,
who's apparently not afraid to kill.

And Gordito is the most dangerous
motherfucker in the city.

I put you through enough, son.

I'm just trying to keep you safe.

So now for the first time in my life,
you wanna pretend to be my father?

I am your father.

No, you had a choice between being
my father and being Shaft.

And you chose.

Nigga, I'm not gonna
keep dealing with this shit.

Now, I done told you,

I don't know who the fuck
or what the fuck you think this is.

Oh, crap.

I've gotta get him away
from all of this.

Maya, Maya.

I have to get him
away from you!

- Who is it?
- Maya.

- It's me, John.
- John?

How did you...

- Never mind. What do you want?
- You ain't gonna let me in?

I can hear you.

Come on, girl. Open the door.
Let me see your face.

Nigga, no. I ain't opening the door,
and you don't need to see my face.

- What do you want?
- Come on, give me a...

Look.

I came back because...

I wanted to tell you that...

I'm sorry.

Is this nigga high?

I never heard you say that before.

Yeah, I never said it before.

But I mean it.

Sorry for putting you
in harm's way last night.

And I'm sorry for putting
our son in danger.

John, you promised me
a long time ago.

You said as long as
you were living this life,

that you would stay away from JJ.

We agreed.

Yeah, I know but he's my son, so...

He's my son too, Maya.

He came to me. He asked me for help.

Now that I've gotten to know him,

things just can't go back
to being the way they were.

Wait.

He came to you?

Yeah.

Wow...

I spent all these years trying
to keep him away from this mess.

But at the end of the day,
I guess he's still a Shaft.

Yeah.

Well...

If JJ's going to put himself in danger,

at least I know
you'll be there to protect him.

Yeah. I will.

Yeah, I know.

So...

So?

You gonna break a brother off?

You had fuck it up, didn't you?

Yeah, she's thinking about it.

We were wrong.

The cleric wasn't the supplier
for Las Caras. Dominguez was.

Bennie is Dominguez's cousin.

So Bennie is the one who put out
the hit on us at the restaurant.

Right. I mean, think about it.
It makes a perfect sense.

Dominguez goes overseas
with the other Brothers

to visit troops.

They bring the damaged vehicles
back to the States, filled with drugs.

All right, I need to get closer.
Just wait here.

- What the hell? No.
- No. Trust me.

It's not that I don't think
that you can do it. It's just...

I need you.

Watch my back.

Please?

Just text me if Dominguez moves.

Okay.

- Go! Come on, let's go.
- Oh, yeah.

This is all going to hell.

- I told you not to kill Karim.
- Relax.

What's your big plan now?
'Cause you always got one.

- Enough.
- What is it?

Seriously. 'Cause now they're
getting close, Bennie got popped,

and now they know it wasn't the cleric.

It's only a matter of time
before they end up here.

- You're being paranoid.
- Oh, now it's me.

We just need to continue as planned.

We'll get this stuff to Gordito.

Gordito?
No. Fuck that, man.

Smuggling drugs was supposed to be
temporary, okay?

This is all your fault.

You got us into it. Now, get us out.

No. That's some
simple bitch shit. Okay.

We ain't gonna be her.

It's funny 'cause you never seem to mind

after I cut you in.

Keith, this getting out of hand.

We need to turn ourselves in right now.

You know, you're really starting
to sound a lot like Karim.

And look where that got him.

It's gonna break Bennie's heart when I
tell her that her cousin was a snitch.

What the hell's that supposed
to mean, Cutty?

It means...

I'm not gonna let loose ends
mess this up.

That's what it means.

I mean did you think
that we should turn ourselves in?

Huh? Did you?

Fuck! My phone!

Shit!

It's that Shaft kid.
He saw everything.

Get him!

Come on!

Fuck!

JJ!

The phone. Now!

Not gonna ask again!

Don't give it to him, JJ!

Hey, stop.

Come on.
Put it on the ground.

Now!

Junior! Get in the car!

Oh, shit!

Oh!

JJ!

Sasha!

Let's go! Hurry!

I'm in. Go, go!

JJ!

Ah.

That motherfucker's got to die.

We need to go find Sasha.

Can't the FBI handle that?

You just don't think that I can do this.

Look, I know the only person
that you give a fuck about is Gordito.

But I can't lose her.

And I can't lose you.

Do you wanna know why
I want Gordito so badly?

That motherfucker's the reason our family
got torn apart in the first place.

Now, he came for me,

your mom was in the car.
So were you.

You were just a baby.

I can't let that shit go.

But you know what?

Fuck Gordito if it means
I lose my son again.

I didn't come here looking
for that motherfucker.

I came here looking for you.

Thanks.

I'm glad you came.

I'm actually a little impressed
that you found me.

I keep telling you I know way more
about this city than that GPS shit.

You know what? I think I can
track Sasha's phone.

I just gotta get to a computer.

I got you. Officer Thomas!

Let me holla at you.

What is it, Shaft?

You got something you wanna tell me
about this little shitstorm

that blew through here?

No.

But my son needs to book a flight.

You mind if he uses your computer?

Book a flight.

Mm-hm.

So Cutty was running the drugs.

Gordito was selling them.

And Bennie was laundering the money.

Excuse me...
I'm sorry. Do y'all

want some mints?

Charge your cell phone?
Y'all need some music...

No, thank you. We're good.

All right, if you need something,
you just let me know.

- I got it all right here for you, okay?
- Okay.

So, I figure

Dominguez was using Cutty as a pawn,

to get in the gang
with Bennie and Gordito.

Did you say "Gordito"?

Ain't that like a big burrito
or something?

Say what?

Shit is good.

When the other Brothers found out,

then Cutty tried to just cut him in,

but Karim wouldn't go for it.

Hey, speaking of the Kareems,

why come y'all think it is that Jabbar
don't get the credit he deserves?

He scored more points than Jordan,

- LeBron...
- Babycakes.

- Mm?
- In case you ain't noticed,

we're trying to work some shit out
back here, all right?

You just having a conversation
out loud, so I thought I could be in it.

My bad.

Now, that still don't explain the mosque.

Well, maybe when Karim
didn't take the money,

they tried to just make him happy
by having Bennie forward his amount

to the cleric.

Right. That way, the cleric wouldn't know
the money was dirty.

Yeah, but I don't think

that Karim could live
with knowing the truth,

and Cutty couldn't have any loose ends,

so their only option...

- Kill Karim.
- Kill Karim.

- Y'all want to kill Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
- No!

But I'm about to kill you,
if you don't mind your damn business

and drive this fucking car.

If we gonna take on Las Caras,

we're gonna need a lot more firepower.

I know just the motherfucker
to hook us up.

Look here, sweetheart. I need to
change the address we're going to.

Oh, you talking to me now?

I don't actually need to know.
You just need to put it into the app.

Put it in the what?

Yeah, I'll take care of it.

How come I couldn't just tell her
where we're going?

No doorbell?

He don't believe in those.

- Just bang on the door on your left.
- Okay.

You know,
on second thought, fuck it.

This motherfucker never locks his door.

Yo, where you at?

But I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk.

Alcoholic gotta go
to them goddamn meetings.

That's far enough, punks.

Pop.

Pop?

It's me.

Son?

Wait. Grandad?

No, it can't be.

Damn. You look like shit.

How could you look 20 years older
than my gray ass?

Yeah, it's good to see your ass, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow.

You're my grandson?

I haven't been able to see you
since your daddy

drove your light-skinned ass
way the hell upstate.

Only you could be
a worse father than I was.

- You were a wonderful father.
- Hm-hm.

After you stopped pretending
to be my uncle.

Wait, what?

Don't pay attention to him.

Come over here
and give your granddaddy some love.

Y'all hungry?

- Want some grits?
- Yeah.

Grits? What's that?

It's a long story.

- Look, I need to ask you a favor.
- What you need?

You still packing?

"Still packing".

Boy, back in the day, we didn't need guns.

All we needed
was our bare knuckles.

Oof. Old school.

Okay.

But you can't be too prepared.

Oh, yeah.

What the hell?

Damn!

Grandpa!

Yo, what don't you have?

So, what's the gig?

Oh, drug kingpin, military scandal,

bad guys holding Junior's girl hostage.
You know, the usual.

Usual shit. Yeah.

You remember when your parents
used to help you with your homework?

You'd go to school the next day,
and it'd all be wrong. Remember that shit?

Thanks, Pops. I'm gonna get
this shit back to you.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold up.

You think I'm just gonna give you my shit
and let you have all the fun without me?

Hell, no. I'm coming with you.

You sure?

Damn right, I'm sure.
I'm bored as hell up in here.

All right.

Let's go get your girl.

Yeah. Let's get Gordito's ass.

I don't know, man. I do not like her
just sitting there without restraints on.

Where the fuck's she gonna go, Cutty?

Hey!

You should take better care of our guest.

- Can I help you gentlemen?
- Yeah.

I was telling my boys here,
that even at my age...

I could take you.

Come on, Pop. Ain't you got
something better to do?

Sound like to me
he's calling you out, homes.

That is... unless you're scared.

Scared?

- Okay.
- Come on.

Okay.

Take your vitamins?

Are you trying or what?

Hey, where you going?

Huh?

Still got it.

I bet if we were wrestling
for some French fries,

he might have won.

Not regular fries. For some chili
cheese fries, he'd kick your ass.

Hey, we're in luck.

That penthouse is using
the exact same feed

for the lobby and the elevator.

I'mma just go ahead and create a loop,
and I can use my phone.

A loop. Is that where they don't see us
when we're on the elevator?

- Exactly. See, you're learning.
- That shit don't never work in the movies.

Is that motherfucker snoring?

What's up?

Hmm. Quality is perfect.

As always, it has been a pleasure

doing business with you.

Transfer the funds.

- So they can't see us?
- Oh, 100%.

The only thing that they're gonna see
is the feed I uploaded. We're invisible.

Boy's got skills.

Uh-oh.

Does that "uh-oh" mean
the movie shit is happening?

- Well, you know, without Wi-Fi, the...
- Do we have Wi-Fi?

No.

So they can see us.

I mean, there's still a chance
that this is working. Hang on. Let me...

Let me try something

Sir, you should see this.

Shaft?

Come at the elevator!
Watch the girl!

What the fuck?

Don't you fucking move!

What are you doing?

Oh, damn!

Ow!

Get in here!

Ow!

Oh, fuck!

Get in here, JJ! Come on!

Ha-ha!

Oh!

These motherfuckers ain't playing.

Gordito!

It's been so many years.

No calls,

no letters.

I've missed you!

Motherfucker!

JJ!

Sasha!

Fuck!

You hit my girl?

Oh, shit!

Fuck.

You're out as well.

- Yep.
- Mm-hm.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't we go old school?

Not bad. Not bad.

Oh, so you wanna go there?

Let me get mine.

Eh, you pussy.

For my car, motherfucker.

Check this out.

- Damn. You back here having a knife fight?
- Oh, hell no. I shot him.

Hey.

Hey.

Say hi to Karim for me.

Ugh!

Motherfucker!

Like I said...

boy's got skills.

Still hate guns.

Hey.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Are you okay?

- Yeah. You?
- Yeah.

Are you bleeding?

No, it's his blood.

Oh, my God.

Come on.

Ooh! Shit.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

Son of a bitch threw me into the table.

- The fuck you laughing at?
- I'm laughing 'cause you all thought

you're gonna do all this shit
by yourselves.

Shaft.

Let's not do that.

Okay, you can point your gun at me.

I'm the one you want.

Is that what you think?

That's what I know.

I'm the cop that broke up
your little ghetto crack cartel,

and sent your ass

swirling around the toilet for the last
20 years, like a piece of shit you are.

That was not because of you.

Yeah, it was.

Your assassination attempt
only succeeded in breaking up my family.

That hit wasn't about you.

I wanted to take away

the one thing you valued
more than anything else.

Now you're truly
about to lose everything.

How do you feel?

Oh!

I feel fine.

Motherfucker.

Dad!

- Oh, what do I do? What do I do?
- Keep some pressure on it!

Come on, stay with us, Dad!
Don't die on me, Dad, please!

Is that you, Death?

Oh, Pop. Hey.

Oh, shit.

Oh, don't be a pussy, son.

What's that you say? What?

You brought me some pussy?

Dang.

I can't believe you actually
took a bullet for me.

Oh, man. Shit was happening so fast.
It's like...

No, and I tripped.

It was an accident.

Oh, yeah?
Is that how you remember it?

Maya!

You did bring me some pussy.

Can you not refer to my mother
as pussy, please?

Are you really gonna ruin this moment?

Okay.

This motherfucker
had Junior dead to rights.

I promised you

I was gonna take care of him.

So I...

Yeah.

Now you gonna break me off?

Moment ruined.

How're we feeling, Mr. Shaft?

- Groovy.
- Great.

I'm good.

Sasha, can you please

prescribe this man something

for his inflated ego?

You did good.

I'm actually glad you were there.

I'll talk to you later.

Hey, Sash, hang on.

Uh, yeah.

- Oh, kiss her!
- Kiss her!

Go on then.

That's my boy.

Our boy. I pushed
the little motherfucker out.

After I shot him in.

You always claiming shit.

Can I get one of those?

No, I don't know where your lips been.

In other news,

the owner of a prominent
grocery store chain in Harlem

was arrested today. Benita Rodriguez
faces attempted murder charges

in connection with
a money laundering scheme

for a notorious drug cartel.

Hey, good job! Way to go!

Nice work, John!

There he is.

My favorite newly reinstated,
newly-promoted field agent

slash computer analyst.

Welcome back, kid.

Yeah, I'm not coming back.

I'm done working for the Man.

And the name is Shaft.

John Shaft.

So, how'd it go?

- Just like you said it would.
- Told you.

So, what's next?

Got a call from a couple upstate.

Possible kidnapping, embezzlement.

Can't call the cops.

The usual.

Let's do our thing.