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1
00:00:03,273 --> 00:00:06,292
Now that
doesn't look right.
2
00:00:06,412 --> 00:00:08,334
Why am I lookingat a black hole?
3
00:00:08,413 --> 00:00:09,569
You know I hate those.
4
00:00:09,657 --> 00:00:11,678
Yeah, we're nowhere near
where we're supposed to be.
5
00:00:11,765 --> 00:00:13,671
Well, maybe we should find
the navigator
6
00:00:13,759 --> 00:00:15,145
and throw something
at him.
7
00:00:15,233 --> 00:00:16,819
Wait, I'm the... hey!
8
00:00:16,907 --> 00:00:18,356
- Seriously?
- Sorry, I didn't
9
00:00:18,444 --> 00:00:21,452
- have anything heavier.
- Also there's that.
10
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:27,372
That is the most evil thing
I've ever seen.
11
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:28,653
This isn't my fault.
12
00:00:28,734 --> 00:00:30,210
I didn't enterthese coordinates.
13
00:00:30,305 --> 00:00:34,217
That thing summoned us
out of hyperspace.
14
00:00:35,150 --> 00:00:39,144
Well, don't just stand
theregawping like stunned space elk.
15
00:00:39,232 --> 00:00:41,234
Go see if there's anything
worth salvaging.
16
00:00:41,321 --> 00:00:43,184
You want us
to walk into a thing
17
00:00:43,272 --> 00:00:44,194
that might as well have
18
00:00:44,282 --> 00:00:46,021
"imminent death"
written on the side?
19
00:00:46,109 --> 00:00:47,327
Well...
20
00:00:47,943 --> 00:00:49,350
Since we're here.
21
00:00:51,405 --> 00:00:53,223
Yep, and nothing terrible
22
00:00:53,311 --> 00:00:55,340
ever happens
in a place like this.
23
00:00:55,428 --> 00:00:57,083
Hmm, I'm not finding much.
24
00:00:57,171 --> 00:00:59,600
Just a bunch of hallways
that meet up over there.
25
00:01:00,038 --> 00:01:03,137
Ooh, I'm picking up large
amounts of organic compounds!
26
00:01:03,225 --> 00:01:04,953
Aww, but no moisture,
27
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,856
which only makes sense
if it's...
28
00:01:06,944 --> 00:01:09,132
A giant field of old,
dead aliens?
29
00:01:09,219 --> 00:01:11,264
Or an army of space mummies.
30
00:01:11,352 --> 00:01:13,222
Uh, look up circuit-dick.
31
00:01:13,310 --> 00:01:16,226
Oh, well,
technically I'm correct
32
00:01:16,313 --> 00:01:19,707
if they stand up... now!
33
00:01:19,819 --> 00:01:20,842
Right now.
34
00:01:20,930 --> 00:01:22,754
Instead of trying
to raise the dead,
35
00:01:22,842 --> 00:01:24,255
why don't we just
find something shiny
36
00:01:24,342 --> 00:01:25,905
and get the heck out of here?
37
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:27,848
Cyril, find anything?
38
00:01:27,936 --> 00:01:31,293
Well, it looks likethere
are two kinds of aliens.
39
00:01:31,381 --> 00:01:35,749
Heavily armored and seems
likethey've been here for eons.
40
00:01:35,854 --> 00:01:37,139
Ah!
41
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:40,778
- Dead... ... alien...
- ... in......
42
00:01:40,866 --> 00:01:42,928
My... ... lungs.
43
00:01:43,016 --> 00:01:45,561
- Whoa-ho!
- Cool!
44
00:01:48,702 --> 00:01:51,161
We've decoded
the writing on the outside
45
00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:53,046
and it seemed... relevant.
46
00:01:53,306 --> 00:01:54,452
Relevant how?
47
00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:55,975
Well, as far
as we can tell,
48
00:01:56,063 --> 00:01:57,991
it's one phrase translated
49
00:01:58,137 --> 00:02:00,403
into a dozen
ancient languages.
50
00:02:00,594 --> 00:02:04,539
"Beware. End of life."
"Beware. End of life."
51
00:02:04,752 --> 00:02:05,852
Any-hoo...
52
00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:07,896
Now I kind of wishwe'd worn helmets.
53
00:02:07,984 --> 00:02:09,717
Time to go.
Cyril, Pam.
54
00:02:09,805 --> 00:02:11,795
Ha-ha!
55
00:02:11,883 --> 00:02:15,435
Bring me the biggest goose
in all of London!
56
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,202
Well, hello.
57
00:02:20,742 --> 00:02:22,375
I'm Mr. Deadly,
58
00:02:22,516 --> 00:02:24,297
and I'm coming with you.
59
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,383
And if we don't take you?
60
00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:33,477
Written right on the side.
61
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:41,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
62
00:03:05,258 --> 00:03:06,898
*ARCHER (2009)*
Season 10 Episode 05
63
00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:09,195
*ARCHER (2009)*
Title : "1999: Mr. Deadly Goes to Town"
64
00:03:17,702 --> 00:03:19,701
Could you say that
one more time?
65
00:03:19,789 --> 00:03:21,922
- Bring me the biggest goo...
- Not you!
66
00:03:22,009 --> 00:03:23,640
I'm a sentient
doomsday device
67
00:03:23,728 --> 00:03:26,861
created by an extinct
alien race but never used.
68
00:03:26,949 --> 00:03:30,007
Wait, never used?
What about all those bodies?
69
00:03:39,648 --> 00:03:42,769
Well, hello. I'm Mr. Deadly.
70
00:03:43,334 --> 00:03:44,945
Typical.
71
00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:47,948
I didn't kill them.
They died fighting over me.
72
00:03:48,035 --> 00:03:49,739
But you gestured
threateningly.
73
00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:51,810
I've been alone
for thousands of years,
74
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:55,685
so my nonverbal communication
skills are a bit rusty.
75
00:03:55,773 --> 00:03:57,771
So wait, are youa weapon or not?
76
00:03:57,859 --> 00:03:59,655
As I said, doomsday device.
77
00:03:59,742 --> 00:04:02,200
Designed by a race
to whom mutual destruction
78
00:04:02,288 --> 00:04:03,952
was preferable to defeat.
79
00:04:04,062 --> 00:04:06,622
I was hidden away
on the edge of space,
80
00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:10,716
but the war I was created
to end in fiery apotheosis
81
00:04:10,804 --> 00:04:12,247
concluded without me.
82
00:04:12,358 --> 00:04:15,841
So there I remained,
my only companions
83
00:04:15,929 --> 00:04:19,671
the velvety dark
and solitude itself.
84
00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:21,503
And then?
85
00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:24,767
I got bored, so I nabbed you
lot out of hyperspace
86
00:04:24,854 --> 00:04:27,060
to help me explode,
at which point
87
00:04:27,148 --> 00:04:29,849
I'll atomize a few dozen
solar systems.
88
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,192
Who else
is turned on right now?
89
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,224
- Always on.
- Not at all.
90
00:04:33,312 --> 00:04:34,864
Am I to understand
91
00:04:34,951 --> 00:04:38,013
that we brought
a giant bomb onto the ship
92
00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:41,109
because you misunderstood
its gestures?
93
00:04:42,089 --> 00:04:43,896
Yeah, keep
working on it, buddy.
94
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,942
Now, with that out
of the way,
95
00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:48,999
would you say
"Please detonate"?
96
00:04:50,287 --> 00:04:51,991
Plea...
97
00:04:53,819 --> 00:04:57,137
Keep little Miss Death Wish
confined here until we decide
98
00:04:57,225 --> 00:04:59,332
what to do with that
walking apocalypse.
99
00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:02,371
So we're just supposed to
sithere and twiddle our thumbs?
100
00:05:02,459 --> 00:05:04,512
I'm sure what you do
with your thumbs
101
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,400
is entirely your business.
102
00:05:08,251 --> 00:05:10,749
Yeah, just seethe silently.
That'll show her.
103
00:05:10,837 --> 00:05:12,137
Well, you're stuck here, too.
104
00:05:12,225 --> 00:05:13,457
I'm always stuck here.
105
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:15,902
What?
106
00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:17,070
I'm just laughing
107
00:05:17,194 --> 00:05:19,124
at how little they respect you.
108
00:05:19,212 --> 00:05:21,740
God,
I need a drink.
109
00:05:21,915 --> 00:05:23,689
It looks like The Artifact
110
00:05:23,777 --> 00:05:26,043
sealed itself up
after you left.
111
00:05:26,131 --> 00:05:27,418
So we're stuck with you, huh?
112
00:05:27,506 --> 00:05:29,945
Yes.
Though I can't trigger myself,
113
00:05:30,033 --> 00:05:33,381
I would like to explode
at the earliest opportunity.
114
00:05:34,358 --> 00:05:35,326
Go right ahead!
115
00:05:35,414 --> 00:05:37,699
If killed,
I blow up automatically.
116
00:05:37,787 --> 00:05:39,973
Sort of obvious,
when you think about it.
117
00:05:40,326 --> 00:05:43,895
So you lived your entire
lifeon that thing, right?
118
00:05:43,983 --> 00:05:46,067
You've neverexperienced anything?
119
00:05:46,155 --> 00:05:49,090
I could access all
the information in the galaxy.
120
00:05:49,178 --> 00:05:50,426
But I suppose you're right.
121
00:05:50,514 --> 00:05:52,707
I didn't directly experience
any of it.
122
00:05:52,795 --> 00:05:55,082
Aww.
You must be horny as shit.
123
00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:57,865
The sole aim of my being
is to explode.
124
00:05:57,953 --> 00:05:59,020
Been there, buddy.
125
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,910
We get it.
You wanna explode.
126
00:06:00,998 --> 00:06:03,725
But if you experience some
stuff, then explode,
127
00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,075
you'd get the best
of both worlds.
128
00:06:05,162 --> 00:06:07,253
Maybe you won't want
to explode at all.
129
00:06:07,341 --> 00:06:10,272
Unlikely, but intriguing.
It is settled.
130
00:06:10,428 --> 00:06:13,584
I shall experience...
some stuff!
131
00:06:13,756 --> 00:06:16,449
Excellent. Laki Station is nearby.
132
00:06:16,537 --> 00:06:17,731
It's a cargo depot,
133
00:06:17,819 --> 00:06:20,456
but it has its shareof diversions.
134
00:06:20,544 --> 00:06:22,685
I'm just gladl won't have to look
at that thing anymore.
135
00:06:22,772 --> 00:06:24,660
What is it with you
and black holes?
136
00:06:24,748 --> 00:06:26,488
Ever heard ofspaghettification?
137
00:06:26,576 --> 00:06:28,005
Oh, yeah, I did that once!
138
00:06:28,177 --> 00:06:31,287
Man, we went everywhere,
nothing but sauce and starch.
139
00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:32,816
Nom-nom-nom-nom.
140
00:06:32,904 --> 00:06:34,105
I put on 20 pounds.
141
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,162
Pam, not spaghetti vacation!
142
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,044
I'm talking about
the scientific term
143
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:40,292
for being sucked through
a black hole's event horizon
144
00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:42,667
and being stretched into
a thin strip of matter,
145
00:06:42,755 --> 00:06:45,644
screaming for eternity
because of time dilation.
146
00:06:45,732 --> 00:06:47,794
Spaghettification!
147
00:06:48,091 --> 00:06:50,722
We called ours "Pastafari."
148
00:06:56,826 --> 00:06:57,896
Ahh!
149
00:06:58,005 --> 00:06:59,442
What are you doing
in my inner sanct...
150
00:06:59,529 --> 00:07:02,917
Room where I sit quietlyand
do nothing suspicious?
151
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,385
You come here to dream
of electric sheep?
152
00:07:05,473 --> 00:07:07,838
Don't be a Dick.
Androids can't dream.
153
00:07:07,926 --> 00:07:09,557
But we do think real hardabout them.
154
00:07:09,645 --> 00:07:11,799
And make illegal
experimental weapons
155
00:07:11,887 --> 00:07:13,792
using our ship's supplies?
156
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,284
What? No, that's not...
157
00:07:15,372 --> 00:07:16,901
Laki Station is notorious
158
00:07:16,989 --> 00:07:18,565
for black market deals.
159
00:07:18,653 --> 00:07:20,627
I may just have a plan.
160
00:07:20,715 --> 00:07:22,331
- Stop that!
- Oh, sorry.
161
00:07:22,419 --> 00:07:24,838
I was just... electric sheep.
162
00:07:24,926 --> 00:07:27,018
Like, do they plug in?
163
00:07:27,106 --> 00:07:28,588
My word.
164
00:07:28,676 --> 00:07:30,799
I knew the life cycle
of a cow,
165
00:07:30,887 --> 00:07:33,081
the atomic structure
of sucrose,
166
00:07:33,169 --> 00:07:34,924
but the experience!
167
00:07:35,012 --> 00:07:36,760
Yeah, well,
ice cream is good.
168
00:07:36,848 --> 00:07:38,471
Not that good.
169
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,776
Unless you've got onethat's
foreplay flavored.
170
00:07:40,864 --> 00:07:42,401
- Do they have that?
- No.
171
00:07:42,489 --> 00:07:44,026
And let's keep it simple
for now.
172
00:07:44,114 --> 00:07:45,410
I hear they have
a greenhouse that might
173
00:07:45,497 --> 00:07:47,229
- be fun to walk through.
- Good grief,
174
00:07:47,317 --> 00:07:48,463
there's more than this?
175
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:49,917
Yay, plants.
176
00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:51,362
So what's the plan here?
177
00:07:51,450 --> 00:07:53,206
Stuff him in a cargo hold
and bug out?
178
00:07:53,294 --> 00:07:55,700
No! Then he just blows up
a bunch of other people.
179
00:07:55,788 --> 00:07:56,963
We can make this work.
180
00:07:57,051 --> 00:07:59,667
If we just find something
he likes enough to live for.
181
00:07:59,755 --> 00:08:01,885
Oh, my God, you alwayshave
to fix people, don't you?
182
00:08:01,973 --> 00:08:03,713
This is why our marriage
didn't work!
183
00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:05,042
- Really?
- It wasn't the fact
184
00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:07,307
that you slept with everything
on two legs?
185
00:08:07,395 --> 00:08:09,340
Hm... not always two.
186
00:08:10,887 --> 00:08:12,698
This is a disaster.
187
00:08:12,786 --> 00:08:14,315
There's only two people here!
188
00:08:14,403 --> 00:08:16,733
- Didn't you pass out the brochures?
- I did not.
189
00:08:16,821 --> 00:08:18,652
But the mix tape doesn't
make any sense without...
190
00:08:18,739 --> 00:08:21,073
Oh, my God.
191
00:08:21,161 --> 00:08:22,627
You didn't send
the mix tape?
192
00:08:22,715 --> 00:08:24,597
- ♪ Sometimes you want to have fun ♪
- ♪ Sometimes you want to have fun ♪
193
00:08:24,684 --> 00:08:25,418
♪ Have fun ♪
194
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,223
- ♪ Sometimes you just need a gun ♪
- ♪ Sometimes you just need a gun ♪
195
00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:28,684
- ♪ Blap-blap ♪
- ♪ Blap-blap ♪
196
00:08:28,871 --> 00:08:31,010
The arms game
is about connections,
197
00:08:31,098 --> 00:08:34,025
not your quasi-musical
cry for help.
198
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:36,713
This is allwindow dressing anyway.
199
00:08:36,801 --> 00:08:39,189
This is bush league
right here.
200
00:08:39,277 --> 00:08:40,580
- Thank you!
- Yeah.
201
00:08:40,681 --> 00:08:42,307
Hey, after this,
let's hit the dead drop
202
00:08:42,395 --> 00:08:43,695
and then space taco.
203
00:08:43,783 --> 00:08:45,008
Mm, def.
204
00:08:45,096 --> 00:08:46,812
Oh, my God!
Are you guys spies?
205
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,437
Oh, my God,
yell it out, hello.
206
00:08:48,525 --> 00:08:49,969
Got it!
Do you guys have, like,
207
00:08:50,057 --> 00:08:52,570
an internship or something?
I'm very sneaky!
208
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:55,329
- Mm-hmm.
- I see you two have an eye.
209
00:08:55,417 --> 00:08:56,760
Let me show you
the latest.
210
00:08:56,848 --> 00:08:59,369
Only for my special
customers, you understand.
211
00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:01,947
Yeah, well,
we are pretty special.
212
00:09:02,035 --> 00:09:04,633
The Plasmo blast Chaos Edition!
213
00:09:04,721 --> 00:09:05,976
Hold down the trigger,
214
00:09:06,064 --> 00:09:09,062
and it fires at
wildly unpredictable intervals!
215
00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:11,297
- Why?
- Revenge Body Armor!
216
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:14,211
When hit,
it auto-injects you with painkillers
217
00:09:14,299 --> 00:09:15,898
and rage-inducingp harmaceuticals!
218
00:09:15,986 --> 00:09:17,156
Why...
219
00:09:17,244 --> 00:09:20,453
And finally, my magnum opus.
220
00:09:20,541 --> 00:09:22,765
The personalized,
identity-locked
221
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,883
temporary
singularity grenade.
222
00:09:24,971 --> 00:09:25,922
That all sounds...
223
00:09:26,010 --> 00:09:27,297
- So dumb.
- Thank you.
224
00:09:27,385 --> 00:09:29,515
What's dumb about
a temporary black hole
225
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,602
that sucks everything into it,
then teleports itself
226
00:09:31,689 --> 00:09:33,494
to a random location
in the galaxy?
227
00:09:33,588 --> 00:09:34,740
All of the words
that you said
228
00:09:34,827 --> 00:09:35,958
in the order
that you said them.
229
00:09:36,045 --> 00:09:37,094
And we're out.
230
00:09:37,182 --> 00:09:38,569
If I may step in...
231
00:09:38,656 --> 00:09:40,422
These are onlythe appetizers.
232
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:43,601
I do in fact have accessto
a weapon of great power.
233
00:09:43,689 --> 00:09:46,041
- What, a fart cannon?
- Actually, I have one...
234
00:09:46,134 --> 00:09:49,322
No, something else.
A doomsday device.
235
00:09:49,775 --> 00:09:50,907
The butterfly.
236
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,281
A remarkable illustration
237
00:09:53,369 --> 00:09:56,086
of the capacity
of living things...
238
00:09:56,174 --> 00:09:57,545
to change.
Cool.
239
00:09:57,632 --> 00:09:59,547
Hey, is that something you
think you might be able to...
240
00:09:59,634 --> 00:10:00,976
What's going on, bud?
241
00:10:01,064 --> 00:10:03,414
Oh, I'm conversing
with the butterfly
242
00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:04,726
via pheromones.
243
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,944
I just asked it to say,
"Please detonate."
244
00:10:07,032 --> 00:10:09,062
I thought you weren't
gonna try to explode!
245
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,698
That's not... anything I said.
246
00:10:10,786 --> 00:10:12,614
Anyway, it was a hard pass.
247
00:10:12,789 --> 00:10:15,491
Much more foul-mouthed
than I expected.
248
00:10:15,579 --> 00:10:17,822
Same to you, you bastard!
249
00:10:18,371 --> 00:10:20,002
Well, I guess we're safe.
250
00:10:20,089 --> 00:10:22,570
Until he finds a fruit
flywith a death wish.
251
00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:25,916
So... would you be interested?
252
00:10:26,010 --> 00:10:29,316
Or, you can shoot plasmabolts
at semi-random intervals.
253
00:10:29,485 --> 00:10:30,703
Ka-kow!
254
00:10:30,791 --> 00:10:32,580
Ka-ka-kow!
255
00:10:32,861 --> 00:10:34,582
I'll take doomsday.
256
00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:36,119
Ka-kow!
257
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:39,384
What do you mean, "No?"
258
00:10:39,449 --> 00:10:41,650
The accepted opposite of, "Yes"?
259
00:10:41,738 --> 00:10:43,814
So we're not selling
Mr. Deadly now?
260
00:10:43,902 --> 00:10:45,158
Won't those spies be angry?
261
00:10:45,246 --> 00:10:46,447
And more importantly,
262
00:10:46,535 --> 00:10:48,043
how does this
affect our mix tape?
263
00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:49,746
Selling him would solve
all our problems.
264
00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:52,287
He gets taken some where else
and gets to explode.
265
00:10:52,375 --> 00:10:53,517
- We live.
- Except for
266
00:10:53,605 --> 00:10:55,246
the billions of
life forms he kills.
267
00:10:55,362 --> 00:10:56,845
Well, obviously,
but they're kind of
268
00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:58,009
a sunk cost at this point.
269
00:10:58,097 --> 00:10:59,366
That is not what that means.
270
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,181
Oh, um... arbitrage?
271
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,736
We can't be held responsible
272
00:11:02,824 --> 00:11:05,197
for the actions of the people
we sell weapons to!
273
00:11:05,296 --> 00:11:06,642
- Why not?
- Because we'd have
274
00:11:06,730 --> 00:11:07,571
to stop doing it!
275
00:11:07,659 --> 00:11:08,785
Look, I think Mr. Deadly
276
00:11:08,873 --> 00:11:11,115
is makingsome
real progress.
277
00:11:12,769 --> 00:11:14,293
The ice cream was good,
278
00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:16,439
and that was
a very pretty bug, if rude,
279
00:11:16,527 --> 00:11:19,220
but fulfilling the purpose
of my existence
280
00:11:19,308 --> 00:11:20,650
sounds a smidge better.
281
00:11:20,738 --> 00:11:23,767
But there must be something
in the universe you wanna do.
282
00:11:23,855 --> 00:11:25,939
I've heard good things
about whisky.
283
00:11:26,027 --> 00:11:27,132
Great job, Lana.
284
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,230
Now let's go get
this bomb drunk.
285
00:11:29,332 --> 00:11:30,541
Lightweights.
286
00:11:30,629 --> 00:11:33,113
That was only like
a half a bottle...
287
00:11:33,573 --> 00:11:35,053
of Quaaludes...
288
00:11:35,141 --> 00:11:37,186
that I dissolvedin their absinthe.
289
00:11:37,273 --> 00:11:38,285
Hmm...
290
00:11:38,441 --> 00:11:39,754
They may die.
291
00:11:39,972 --> 00:11:41,886
Oh!
Mr. Deadly!
292
00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:43,591
That's what I was doing.
293
00:11:44,514 --> 00:11:47,674
I say, that tastes like
an old boot on fire
294
00:11:47,762 --> 00:11:49,372
that I like in my mouth!
295
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:52,158
I know it's your first time,
but you don't have to try
296
00:11:52,246 --> 00:11:53,689
literally every whisky
they have.
297
00:11:53,777 --> 00:11:56,808
Um, could you say,
"Please detonate"?
298
00:11:57,019 --> 00:11:59,361
Say nothing. Walk away.
299
00:11:59,449 --> 00:12:01,602
Almost got you.
300
00:12:01,893 --> 00:12:03,373
I'll have these six.
301
00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:05,186
Not 100% surethis is working.
302
00:12:05,274 --> 00:12:07,483
Let's just go findthose
spies and pawn him off.
303
00:12:07,571 --> 00:12:08,803
One, that's evil.
304
00:12:08,891 --> 00:12:11,014
Two, we don't even know
what they look like.
305
00:12:11,102 --> 00:12:13,527
Well, see that cat dudeand
pouch master general?
306
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,748
They look exactly like that.
307
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,819
Doesn't look like they're
here to haggle.
308
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,544
- Time to go.
- And we're shuffling,
309
00:12:19,632 --> 00:12:21,480
and they're working together,
and they're cutting us off,
310
00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:24,073
- and they're here.
- Nice work, Tav.
311
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,433
What's up with all
the fist bumping?
312
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:26,995
This is not a weapon!
313
00:12:27,083 --> 00:12:29,565
It is a living being
who does not want...
314
00:12:29,653 --> 00:12:30,841
Who's taking me? You?
315
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,925
You? Ah, we'll figure it out.
316
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:35,596
Thanks, Lana.
It's been... a delay?
317
00:12:35,684 --> 00:12:37,206
But I'd like to explode now.
318
00:12:37,294 --> 00:12:39,307
Well, all that's left
is for you to pay us
319
00:12:39,395 --> 00:12:41,105
and we'll leave
this portion of the galaxy...
320
00:12:41,192 --> 00:12:43,637
Oh-ho-ho.
You're not going anywhere.
321
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,573
I have a thing
about loose ends.
322
00:12:45,661 --> 00:12:47,536
Is that why you have
so many straps?
323
00:12:47,624 --> 00:12:49,995
Seriously, are you on your way
to tie down a blimp?
324
00:12:50,083 --> 00:12:51,340
Hey!
Time to leave.
325
00:12:51,428 --> 00:12:52,479
We tend to frown on
326
00:12:52,566 --> 00:12:54,245
threatening
waiters with knives.
327
00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:56,057
Sir, we're handling this.
328
00:12:56,145 --> 00:12:58,057
Oh, is that right,
Tycho Brahe?
329
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,008
Astronomy burn!
330
00:13:00,095 --> 00:13:02,393
Come on, did the groundwork
for Copernicus.
331
00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:04,815
Had a metal nose.
Tycho Brahe.
332
00:13:04,903 --> 00:13:06,895
Ooh, long way to go
for that one.
333
00:13:14,325 --> 00:13:17,768
Hey, assholes.
If he dies, he explodes!
334
00:13:17,856 --> 00:13:19,340
Well, you should have
led with that!
335
00:13:19,428 --> 00:13:22,129
Oh, we're so sorry!
336
00:13:23,989 --> 00:13:25,120
God damn it.
337
00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:26,433
I think they usedyour stick thing!
338
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,057
It's called a quarterstaff.
339
00:13:28,145 --> 00:13:30,440
Fine, they usedyour quarterstaff.
340
00:13:30,528 --> 00:13:31,934
You have a gun!
341
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,051
We can lay low herefor a while.
342
00:13:36,411 --> 00:13:38,159
Aww, cheer up, dude.
343
00:13:38,247 --> 00:13:40,002
I bet you'll explode
before you know it.
344
00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:42,909
Lana, you have snatched me
from my destiny.
345
00:13:42,997 --> 00:13:44,541
Yeah, she is a huge buzzkill.
346
00:13:44,629 --> 00:13:46,596
Look, I'm very partially
sorry about that.
347
00:13:46,684 --> 00:13:48,406
But we're gonna figure out
what to do.
348
00:13:48,493 --> 00:13:50,757
Can you stay here
for just a few minutes?
349
00:13:50,844 --> 00:13:53,036
Oh, great.
I've waited thousands of years
350
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,909
so what's a few minutes?
351
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,418
- That's a yes, right?
- Yes.
352
00:13:57,911 --> 00:14:00,174
So... what do we do?
353
00:14:00,653 --> 00:14:03,073
Oh!
Oh, not this.
354
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,450
Just thought of another name
for Spaghetti Vacation.
355
00:14:05,557 --> 00:14:08,416
If you tell it to me, Pam,
I will literally kill you.
356
00:14:08,504 --> 00:14:10,473
Call it a one-way vacation
to the void.
357
00:14:10,561 --> 00:14:12,429
- Wait, that's something.
- Killing Pam?
358
00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:14,760
I was joking, but if you've
got a good reason
359
00:14:14,848 --> 00:14:15,863
- I would...
- No, these depotsall
360
00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:17,104
have a cargo railgun.
361
00:14:17,192 --> 00:14:19,080
- They're insanely powerful.
- So?
362
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:20,471
So we put him in it,
363
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,120
aim it up out of
the galactic plane,
364
00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:24,463
and radio the order
when he's at a safe distance.
365
00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:26,330
We'd have to get there
without those goons
366
00:14:26,418 --> 00:14:27,276
intercepting us.
367
00:14:27,364 --> 00:14:29,450
Seems tough.
They're very cool.
368
00:14:29,538 --> 00:14:30,670
They're not that cool.
369
00:14:30,797 --> 00:14:31,841
Okay, let's ask him.
370
00:14:31,929 --> 00:14:33,090
Ha!
371
00:14:33,178 --> 00:14:35,590
Teach you to lock me
in a room.
372
00:14:36,366 --> 00:14:38,864
Because I locked you
in a room! Ha-ha!
373
00:14:38,952 --> 00:14:40,245
Are you guys getting that?
374
00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:42,495
I can't see if the irony
is landing.
375
00:14:42,583 --> 00:14:44,518
Why not open the door
and check?
376
00:14:44,606 --> 00:14:46,682
I can't, I smashed it.
377
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:47,965
Okay, bye.
378
00:14:48,117 --> 00:14:49,534
Okay, bye.
We're gonna die.
379
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:52,150
If we are, there's something
I need you guys to know.
380
00:14:52,238 --> 00:14:54,450
"Ravioliday"!
381
00:14:55,369 --> 00:14:56,629
Worth it.
382
00:14:58,843 --> 00:15:00,051
I am ready.
383
00:15:00,215 --> 00:15:01,455
Take me!
384
00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:04,166
You may have some
unhealthy associations
385
00:15:04,254 --> 00:15:05,629
with sex and death.
386
00:15:05,717 --> 00:15:07,582
Duh-hoi.
387
00:15:09,797 --> 00:15:10,885
Uh-huh.
388
00:15:10,996 --> 00:15:13,684
So you know
you don'thave any junk, right?
389
00:15:13,772 --> 00:15:16,688
Well, if you give me a
momentl'm sure I can grow one.
390
00:15:16,858 --> 00:15:18,723
Why don't you make it two.
391
00:15:21,945 --> 00:15:23,211
That was...
392
00:15:23,299 --> 00:15:24,669
My God!
393
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,395
Ugh! It's gonna be one of those.
394
00:15:26,483 --> 00:15:29,809
How can sensations that
majestic and world shattering
395
00:15:29,897 --> 00:15:33,005
be contained in such strange
dangly skin-bags?
396
00:15:33,092 --> 00:15:35,692
Did the world shatter for
you in the first ten seconds,
397
00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:38,559
the second ten seconds,
or huh, no other options!
398
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,590
Both!
Benefit of two, I suppose.
399
00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:44,153
But, oddly, I find a limpid
rush of passion in myself,
400
00:15:44,241 --> 00:15:46,686
and I must tell you...
Sorry, what was your name?
401
00:15:46,774 --> 00:15:48,490
There's some debate on that.
402
00:15:48,577 --> 00:15:50,803
Well, whatever it is,
I love you.
403
00:15:50,935 --> 00:15:52,655
Yes, well... nap.
404
00:15:52,764 --> 00:15:55,244
Can you at least tell me
to detonate?
405
00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:56,671
God, can you stop
your dumb mouth
406
00:15:56,759 --> 00:15:58,372
from talkingso I can sleep!
407
00:15:58,460 --> 00:15:59,473
Okay.
408
00:15:59,561 --> 00:16:01,434
Well, I'm gonna destroy you
all now.
409
00:16:01,522 --> 00:16:04,253
As long as it's quiet! Rude!
410
00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,038
What did you just do?
411
00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:08,522
I don't know.
I wasn't listening either.
412
00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:10,364
Unfortunately, we were,
413
00:16:10,452 --> 00:16:12,755
and there are some things
you can't unhear.
414
00:16:12,843 --> 00:16:15,059
Yeah, like why was it
so squelchy?
415
00:16:15,147 --> 00:16:16,048
- Well...
- Nope!
416
00:16:16,135 --> 00:16:17,266
Where did he go?
417
00:16:17,592 --> 00:16:18,592
Who?
418
00:16:18,897 --> 00:16:20,731
Let's see.
Let's wind the footage back
419
00:16:20,819 --> 00:16:22,489
to the moment
they left the cantina...
420
00:16:22,577 --> 00:16:23,731
Pff.
Cantina?
421
00:16:23,819 --> 00:16:25,057
Barely a saloon.
422
00:16:25,397 --> 00:16:26,897
Or that.
423
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:28,725
Last one to grab him buys tacos?
424
00:16:28,972 --> 00:16:31,536
Ugh!
Set me up the whole way.
425
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,195
Ugh... Respect.
426
00:16:36,264 --> 00:16:38,287
We got to go!
427
00:16:38,374 --> 00:16:39,645
Give me a minute!
428
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:41,661
I think I was
just dead a little!
429
00:16:41,749 --> 00:16:44,981
♪ Sometimes
you just need a gun ♪
430
00:16:45,069 --> 00:16:46,223
Damn that's catchy.
431
00:16:46,311 --> 00:16:48,114
Cheryl got out!
And ruined everything.
432
00:16:48,202 --> 00:16:50,299
That second part
probably goes without saying.
433
00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:52,301
How can you be
so incompetent?
434
00:16:52,514 --> 00:16:54,801
Well, seeing as how you let
a glue-sniffing
435
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:56,575
human death wish
escape a closed vessel,
436
00:16:56,663 --> 00:16:58,122
maybe we're even!
437
00:16:58,210 --> 00:17:00,630
Even? Who paid for
your first "massage"
438
00:17:00,718 --> 00:17:02,139
when you ran out of cash?
439
00:17:02,227 --> 00:17:04,786
Not to get in the middle
of your Freudian nightmare,
440
00:17:04,874 --> 00:17:06,926
but just get Krieger ready
with his weapons,
441
00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:08,709
and meet us outside the ship!
442
00:17:09,007 --> 00:17:10,450
Way ahead of you.
443
00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:11,889
Are you?
444
00:17:11,977 --> 00:17:13,715
Hate to be a pest
but could you say,
445
00:17:13,803 --> 00:17:14,692
"Please Detonate?"
446
00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:16,760
- Uh, no thank you.
- Ah-ha!
447
00:17:17,805 --> 00:17:19,951
Fantastic.
And now this is happening.
448
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,266
Let's go!
449
00:17:21,531 --> 00:17:23,492
Ow.
450
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,279
Nice shooting, Tex,
but if you kill him,
451
00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:26,683
nobody gets tacos.
452
00:17:26,770 --> 00:17:27,902
Oh, hi guys.
453
00:17:27,989 --> 00:17:29,795
Oh, hi.
They're from the ship.
454
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,740
Yep. We are here to stop you.
455
00:17:31,828 --> 00:17:34,109
Is that a kimono?
456
00:17:34,648 --> 00:17:38,461
These are experimental
prototypes.
457
00:17:38,555 --> 00:17:40,248
I call gun!
Big gun, here.
458
00:17:40,336 --> 00:17:41,951
That leaves Pam
the temporary...
459
00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:43,224
Don't need it, dick-nuts.
460
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,240
- My body is a weapon.
- Speaking of which.
461
00:17:45,328 --> 00:17:47,508
The temporary
singularity grenade?
462
00:17:47,596 --> 00:17:48,625
Why would you make that?
463
00:17:48,713 --> 00:17:50,766
Why not just give usan
ancient horn that summons
464
00:17:50,859 --> 00:17:53,467
Cthulhu's older,
shittier step-brother?
465
00:17:53,555 --> 00:17:56,156
Well, it imprinted on younow,
so no one else can use it.
466
00:17:56,244 --> 00:17:58,176
Seems like a needless precaution.
467
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,136
So where do you think they are?
468
00:18:00,223 --> 00:18:03,799
I find it's good practice to
follow the sound of gunfire.
469
00:18:03,887 --> 00:18:05,319
That hadn't happened yet!
470
00:18:05,407 --> 00:18:08,985
Oh, suppressing fire!
471
00:18:09,073 --> 00:18:11,014
Ah, ah, ah!
472
00:18:11,102 --> 00:18:13,358
Yelling "suppressing fire"
kind of defeats the point.
473
00:18:13,446 --> 00:18:15,109
We're supposed to think
you're aiming at us.
474
00:18:15,196 --> 00:18:17,655
You know what, actually,
I'm saying it to my teammates,
475
00:18:17,743 --> 00:18:18,797
so they know.
476
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:21,078
Ah-ah-ah!
477
00:18:21,469 --> 00:18:23,491
Admit you underestimated me.
478
00:18:23,579 --> 00:18:25,194
Get off my head, you bitch!
479
00:18:25,282 --> 00:18:26,858
They're actually
doing okay.
480
00:18:26,946 --> 00:18:29,389
I might have a tiny
bitmore respect for them.
481
00:18:29,477 --> 00:18:30,936
Don't ever tell them
I said that.
482
00:18:31,024 --> 00:18:33,444
There is so much
so deeply wrong with you.
483
00:18:33,532 --> 00:18:35,163
And you married me.
484
00:18:35,251 --> 00:18:36,530
Doesn't reflect great on you.
485
00:18:36,618 --> 00:18:38,813
Aww, can I keep him?
486
00:18:40,106 --> 00:18:42,049
How long before they notice...
487
00:18:42,893 --> 00:18:45,416
"We're-we're gone,"
is what I was gonna say.
488
00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:49,430
So what's all this then?
489
00:18:49,518 --> 00:18:51,141
Cargo railgun, we shoot you,
490
00:18:51,229 --> 00:18:52,578
transmit signal, boom.
491
00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:55,468
- Oh, finally.
- Wait, where's Pam?
492
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:00,305
The invisible fist.
493
00:19:00,393 --> 00:19:01,727
That could be my code name.
494
00:19:01,815 --> 00:19:04,219
So what do you say,
I'm your scrappy apprentice,
495
00:19:04,307 --> 00:19:05,899
and you're mygruff-but-loveable...
496
00:19:05,987 --> 00:19:07,375
Ahhh! Ow!
497
00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:09,117
I'll think about it.
498
00:19:09,205 --> 00:19:12,252
Oh, that is good pouchwork.
499
00:19:15,018 --> 00:19:16,750
Get in there.
We'll send the "please det..."
500
00:19:16,838 --> 00:19:17,930
Archer, come on.
501
00:19:18,018 --> 00:19:19,938
Whoops, that would
have been hilarious.
502
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:21,703
We'll send you the message
503
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,742
once you're out
of the galactic plane.
504
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,211
Ahh!
Jesus, Archer.
505
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,742
You ever look
before you shoot?
506
00:19:27,830 --> 00:19:28,923
Sometimes.
507
00:19:30,322 --> 00:19:32,024
Don't hit Mr. Deadly!
508
00:19:32,112 --> 00:19:33,578
Yeah, aiming at you guys.
509
00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:35,508
Thanks for being
so conscientious.
510
00:19:46,432 --> 00:19:48,658
You saved me.
511
00:19:48,746 --> 00:19:52,017
You overcame your simple
biological impulse to live.
512
00:19:52,152 --> 00:19:53,613
Just tryingto do what's right.
513
00:19:59,585 --> 00:20:01,359
Jesus Christ, lady!
514
00:20:01,447 --> 00:20:05,021
Don't call me lady!
515
00:20:05,814 --> 00:20:07,200
Well, have a nice death.
516
00:20:07,288 --> 00:20:09,841
Just give me the receiver
so you can transmit the order.
517
00:20:09,929 --> 00:20:12,114
- The what?
- It's a cargo container.
518
00:20:12,202 --> 00:20:14,294
Do you want me to bring along
string and a can?
519
00:20:14,382 --> 00:20:16,093
Goddamn it.
520
00:20:16,428 --> 00:20:19,585
Oh, so now you're
a gesture expert.
521
00:20:26,956 --> 00:20:29,266
Whoa, smells like
stir-Friday in here.
522
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,680
Why did you do that?
523
00:20:30,775 --> 00:20:33,635
I need to feel their blood
on my... ah.
524
00:20:33,729 --> 00:20:37,118
Ohh, this is the best
I've ever felt.
525
00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:39,454
Yeah, you're probably
gonna want to check into rehab.
526
00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:41,790
Like immediately.
You forgot this.
527
00:20:41,878 --> 00:20:44,665
I came as quick as I could.
You know, after they died.
528
00:20:44,753 --> 00:20:47,079
You are a paragon of bravery.
529
00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:48,962
All right,
let's shoot you into space.
530
00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:50,985
- One moment.
- Oh, come on!
531
00:20:51,073 --> 00:20:53,649
Lana's act of selflessness
inspired me.
532
00:20:53,737 --> 00:20:55,821
She was willing to give
her life for others,
533
00:20:55,909 --> 00:20:58,433
and that gives me
the courage to change.
534
00:20:58,612 --> 00:21:00,626
I choose life.
535
00:21:00,714 --> 00:21:03,196
I guess this means
no tacos.
536
00:21:03,284 --> 00:21:05,063
Is that supposedto be a joke?
537
00:21:05,151 --> 00:21:06,869
I didn't mean to make
it weird.
538
00:21:06,956 --> 00:21:08,682
How's this for weird?
539
00:21:08,770 --> 00:21:11,208
Please detonate.
540
00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:12,826
- No!
- Don't detonate!
541
00:21:14,903 --> 00:21:18,073
I think my change of heart
may have diffused me.
542
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:20,026
Only now do I see that
543
00:21:20,114 --> 00:21:23,227
when one's purpose is evil,
achieving that...
544
00:21:25,802 --> 00:21:27,883
Archer, you've gotto use this.
545
00:21:27,971 --> 00:21:30,844
I don't want to be
eternal spaghetti, Lana.
546
00:21:30,970 --> 00:21:33,579
For once, think of anyone
other than yourself.
547
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,292
Aghh! Fine!
548
00:22:00,023 --> 00:22:01,779
- I'm alive!
- We're alive!
549
00:22:01,867 --> 00:22:03,328
Close one, right guys?
550
00:22:03,477 --> 00:22:04,746
Yeah, great.
551
00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:07,381
I think I twisted my ankle.
Thanks, Lana.
552
00:22:07,469 --> 00:22:09,678
So where exactly
did they go?
553
00:22:09,766 --> 00:22:11,145
It's semi-random,
554
00:22:11,232 --> 00:22:12,799
but I could try
to back-calculate it...
555
00:22:12,886 --> 00:22:14,569
I'd kind of prefer to not know
556
00:22:14,657 --> 00:22:16,305
if we wiped out
several thriving
557
00:22:16,393 --> 00:22:18,091
and culturally complex
civilizations.
558
00:22:18,179 --> 00:22:20,225
- Yeah, I mean, me too.
- All right.
559
00:22:24,811 --> 00:22:27,118
We don't know that was us.
560
00:22:28,978 --> 00:22:31,076
Sync corrections by srjanapala
561
00:22:48,977 --> 00:22:51,992
Made in Georgia.
562
00:22:52,305 --> 00:22:58,236
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