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1
00:00:24,021 --> 00:00:27,320
1864, April 22nd.
2
00:00:27,391 --> 00:00:31,293
I remember that day
like It was yesterday.
3
00:00:31,362 --> 00:00:33,990
A renegade troop
of Northern soldiers
4
00:00:34,065 --> 00:00:36,727
fought In the so called
Civil War,
5
00:00:38,502 --> 00:00:41,300
raped our women,
murdered our children,
6
00:00:41,372 --> 00:00:43,704
even took out
my goddamn eye
7
00:00:43,774 --> 00:00:45,605
I can still hear
Granny's cries
8
00:00:45,676 --> 00:00:49,077
as they burnt Pleasant
Valley to the ground.
9
00:00:51,282 --> 00:00:52,977
They killed us all,
10
00:00:53,050 --> 00:00:55,985
doomed us
to a life in limbo.
11
00:00:56,053 --> 00:01:01,650
Nothing more
than ghosts seeking revenge.
12
00:01:01,726 --> 00:01:04,718
Guess that's the way
the good Lord wants It.
13
00:01:04,795 --> 00:01:06,490
Eye for eye, tooth for tooth,
14
00:01:06,564 --> 00:01:08,532
as the Old Testament says.
15
00:01:08,599 --> 00:01:11,432
One thing's for certain,
16
00:01:11,502 --> 00:01:14,699
our souls ain't
ever gonna find rest
17
00:01:14,772 --> 00:01:18,765
'til all 2001 are avenged
18
00:01:19,953 --> 00:01:24,791
2001 Maniacs Field of Screams
19
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:48,100
Yes, sir, name's Buckman.
Mayor James W. Buckman.
20
00:01:48,172 --> 00:01:49,730
And here In Pleasant Valley,
21
00:01:49,807 --> 00:01:53,470
the anniversary of our
tragic massacre has arrived.
22
00:01:53,544 --> 00:01:56,513
And so have we.
23
00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:58,912
Knives have been
sharpened for justice,
24
00:01:58,983 --> 00:02:02,851
table set for revenge.
25
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:06,083
We try to make sport of it
for the little ones.
26
00:02:06,157 --> 00:02:10,560
No reason vengeance
can't be fun.
27
00:02:10,628 --> 00:02:13,825
Only thing missing
are the Yanks.
28
00:02:13,898 --> 00:02:17,163
And so, yet again,
29
00:02:17,234 --> 00:02:18,633
we wait.
30
00:02:25,743 --> 00:02:29,179
Must admit Granny's been
deeply loyal through the decades.
31
00:02:29,246 --> 00:02:32,147
Just ain't Into rubbing
ankles with her no more.
32
00:02:32,216 --> 00:02:35,014
Last time we did,
I popped my son.
33
00:02:35,086 --> 00:02:36,451
Filthy scum.
34
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:39,080
I think that's
them coming now.
35
00:02:39,156 --> 00:02:41,522
What in the blazes-?
36
00:02:41,592 --> 00:02:43,219
Yee-haw I
37
00:02:43,294 --> 00:02:44,784
Come on.
38
00:02:44,862 --> 00:02:48,093
# The South's
Gonna rise again
39
00:02:50,434 --> 00:02:54,370
# The South's
Gonna rise again #
40
00:02:54,438 --> 00:02:57,498
Yeah I Yee-haw I
41
00:02:59,610 --> 00:03:02,738
# The South's
Gonna again #
42
00:03:02,813 --> 00:03:05,247
You ain't gonna
like this none, Daddy.
43
00:03:05,316 --> 00:03:08,547
Sheriff Freeman here, done
tore down the detour sign
44
00:03:08,619 --> 00:03:10,917
Will you please?
45
00:03:10,988 --> 00:03:12,683
# Yeah I #
46
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,384
Damn!
47
00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:18,053
What seems to be the problem
here, my good Sheriff Freeman?
48
00:03:18,129 --> 00:03:22,065
The problem, my good man, is every
spring I get calls from State police
49
00:03:22,133 --> 00:03:26,160
after yours little festival,
looking for missing Northern folk.
50
00:03:26,237 --> 00:03:28,467
Up 'til now, I've played
ball ya'll,
51
00:03:28,539 --> 00:03:30,837
but now I've got Ben
sniffing around my butt.
52
00:03:30,908 --> 00:03:35,004
"You've played ball, " because we've
paid you quite a generous bounty
53
00:03:35,079 --> 00:03:39,675
for your stewardship, ain't
that right, sweet cream?
54
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:43,948
You didn't mind me when you was
a cub scout, you little Davy?
55
00:03:44,021 --> 00:03:45,352
No, ma'am.
56
00:03:45,423 --> 00:03:48,017
You wouldn't be pretending
you can resist me?
57
00:03:48,092 --> 00:03:49,354
No, ma'am.
58
00:03:49,427 --> 00:03:51,292
That's what I thought.
59
00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:56,197
Look, milk or no milk, I ain't dropping
the soap in prison for none of ya'.
60
00:03:56,267 --> 00:03:58,735
Ain't gonna be
no more jamborees.
61
00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:02,239
No more feastin',
no more killin'.
62
00:04:02,306 --> 00:04:04,638
None of it!
Is that clear?
63
00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:07,609
Clear as
a nighttime kiss,
64
00:04:07,678 --> 00:04:11,375
on a young
possum's cooch.
65
00:04:14,885 --> 00:04:18,377
This town used to be a jewel
on the crown of the South.
66
00:04:18,456 --> 00:04:21,016
You maniacs squeezed it into a turd.
67
00:04:21,092 --> 00:04:24,255
Now hush up, you big baby,
you're ruining all the fun.
68
00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:29,288
Amen, Harper. Such Ingratitude
brings a tear to my eye
69
00:04:29,366 --> 00:04:32,961
when I think of all the hard work
that went into making this thrill ride.
70
00:04:33,037 --> 00:04:34,170
Am I
right, folks?
71
00:04:34,171 --> 00:04:35,321
Yeah!
72
00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:37,068
Damn you
and your thrill ride.
73
00:04:37,141 --> 00:04:41,544
Well if that's how you feel I'll
have to tickle you on the way down.
74
00:04:41,612 --> 00:04:44,240
Hold on a minute,
wait a minute ya'II.
75
00:04:45,616 --> 00:04:47,982
Come on.
76
00:04:49,787 --> 00:04:51,687
Hold on.
77
00:04:51,755 --> 00:04:52,856
We'll make a deal.
78
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,484
No!
79
00:04:54,558 --> 00:04:56,890
No ? No.
80
00:04:56,961 --> 00:04:59,361
Fuck you and your maniacs!
81
00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:00,580
Wait, wait a minute.
82
00:05:00,598 --> 00:05:01,698
Bye-bye.
83
00:05:01,699 --> 00:05:02,849
No. No!
84
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:05,665
Okay, folks,
what time is it?
85
00:05:05,736 --> 00:05:07,294
Roll out the barrel!
86
00:05:07,371 --> 00:05:08,633
The what?
87
00:05:08,706 --> 00:05:10,970
Roll out the !
88
00:05:11,041 --> 00:05:12,975
I'm- I'm sorry,
I can't hear you.
89
00:05:13,043 --> 00:05:16,342
Kill that mother fucker!
90
00:05:16,413 --> 00:05:19,007
You got it! One,
91
00:05:19,083 --> 00:05:20,948
two,
92
00:05:21,018 --> 00:05:22,918
three!
93
00:05:35,199 --> 00:05:36,349
Ugh I
94
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,630
Bulls eye!
95
00:05:39,402 --> 00:05:42,337
Oh! Let's hear some
of that 'oI death rattle!
96
00:05:45,275 --> 00:05:47,334
I'll see you
in hell, Buckman.
97
00:05:47,410 --> 00:05:50,868
We're already there.
98
00:05:50,947 --> 00:05:53,040
Ugh!
99
00:06:02,592 --> 00:06:05,322
# Rot in hell
Rot in hell #
100
00:06:11,201 --> 00:06:13,169
Ah, well, Bucky,
101
00:06:13,236 --> 00:06:16,433
if the Northern folk
won't come to the South-
102
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,497
Well, we'll bring
the South to them!
103
00:08:19,395 --> 00:08:21,886
Right there on the road,
104
00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:26,197
don't forget to check
the backseat.
105
00:08:30,673 --> 00:08:33,073
Next week on Road Rascals
106
00:08:33,142 --> 00:08:35,474
the Old South gets
a taste of Beverly Hills,
107
00:08:35,545 --> 00:08:40,505
as America's favorite debutantes Rome
and Tina Sheraton, head to Georgia.
108
00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:42,175
Watch out,
red states.
109
00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:44,277
'Cause we're
coming your way.
110
00:08:44,354 --> 00:08:46,686
I hear the South
smells like shit.
111
00:08:46,756 --> 00:08:50,283
Isn't the Liberty
Bell In ?
112
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:54,194
I hear they have these bugs there,
called chiggers, that sleep in your puss.
113
00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:57,165
Those Mexican cleaning ladies
better not bitch us out.
114
00:08:57,233 --> 00:09:00,031
My sister has got to
ditch that icky dead dog,
115
00:09:00,103 --> 00:09:03,630
yeah it was sad when Biscuit died
but then Rome got it taxidermed.
116
00:09:03,706 --> 00:09:07,073
I cannot stand my
sister's boyfriend, Falcon.
117
00:09:07,143 --> 00:09:09,111
He's so gay. Hello?
118
00:09:10,914 --> 00:09:14,406
Tina's, not for sure,
but, you know,
119
00:09:14,484 --> 00:09:17,351
it's not like we're
married or anything, so.
120
00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:20,446
Yo, yo, yo, what plays in
Georgia, stays in Georgia.
121
00:09:20,523 --> 00:09:22,320
Just don't tell Rome.
Right, bro?
122
00:09:25,161 --> 00:09:29,689
All this and more,
next week on Road Rascals.
123
00:09:29,766 --> 00:09:31,961
So, that's the promo.
124
00:09:32,035 --> 00:09:34,196
Nice.
125
00:09:34,270 --> 00:09:35,794
Don't you
just love it?
126
00:09:35,872 --> 00:09:38,534
Absolutely. Red
state, blue state,
127
00:09:38,608 --> 00:09:40,439
Rome and Tina Sheraton,
128
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:44,378
the wing of the left flying deep
Into the heart of the rights.
129
00:09:44,447 --> 00:09:47,712
I think we're talking
Golden Globe on this one.
130
00:09:47,784 --> 00:09:51,049
Why so
shortsighted, Jerry,
131
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,145
I mean, why not Pulitzer, or the Nobel?
132
00:09:53,222 --> 00:09:55,417
What could possibly
be more prize winning
133
00:09:55,491 --> 00:09:58,426
than these two jiggling their
tits across the heartland?
134
00:09:58,494 --> 00:09:59,825
Bristol, please.
135
00:09:59,896 --> 00:10:02,194
Well, I know Mommy's
little Biscuit loved it.
136
00:10:02,265 --> 00:10:04,199
Didn't she?
137
00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:07,566
Mommy's little Biscuit
doesn't love anything any more,
138
00:10:07,637 --> 00:10:10,606
will you bury that already.
It fuckin' stinks.
139
00:10:10,673 --> 00:10:13,540
Why do you have to be
such a goddamn tool, K-Jay?
140
00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:16,204
I'm not the one smacking
a stuffed corpse.
141
00:10:16,279 --> 00:10:17,610
Tina.
142
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,045
Falcon.
143
00:10:19,115 --> 00:10:20,946
Stop bagging
on the rat.
144
00:10:21,017 --> 00:10:26,717
Ow! I mean, K, can't you show
Biscuit just a little respect?
145
00:10:26,789 --> 00:10:31,988
Bro, who's on the fucking
leash? You or the bag of sawdust?
146
00:10:32,061 --> 00:10:35,861
Look, dude. I kiss her
ass, she makes me famous.
147
00:10:42,105 --> 00:10:48,408
Fucking cheapskates put some damn
curtain like I'm the fucking hired help.
148
00:10:48,478 --> 00:10:51,470
Where the fuck
are we anyway?
149
00:10:51,547 --> 00:10:53,981
Iowa? What
the fuck Is In Iowa?
150
00:10:54,050 --> 00:10:56,245
I shouldn't have
let you drive.
151
00:10:56,319 --> 00:11:00,050
Will you get off
your rag already?
152
00:11:00,123 --> 00:11:02,148
How many times
do I have to tell you?
153
00:11:02,225 --> 00:11:05,558
Momma wants a hard shell taco when
all you got is a soggy chingadera.
154
00:11:05,628 --> 00:11:07,357
Shut up, baby.
155
00:11:07,430 --> 00:11:10,866
I got a hard shell taco. You need
to supersize it. Now back to work.
156
00:11:10,933 --> 00:11:12,730
Come on, come on.
There you go.
157
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,360
Now shut the fuck up
and suck it.
158
00:11:16,439 --> 00:11:19,533
Yes, yes, yes, I can see. I can see It.
159
00:11:19,609 --> 00:11:23,943
I see a new
moon rising.
160
00:11:30,953 --> 00:11:34,889
Excuse me I've had
enough of this shit
161
00:11:36,759 --> 00:11:38,488
I know you
and these asses
162
00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:40,961
like to do whatever you
want down Rodeo drive,
163
00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:42,827
but here,
I'm the producer
164
00:11:42,899 --> 00:11:47,131
I'm the boss There'll
be no party, no drugs,
165
00:11:47,203 --> 00:11:49,103
and no sex!
166
00:11:49,172 --> 00:11:53,768
Do you think you can put that no
sex clause in Jerry's contract?
167
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:58,712
There's no respect, I'm the
driver, the production assistant,
168
00:11:58,781 --> 00:12:01,249
I'm the fucking caterer
169
00:12:01,317 --> 00:12:04,582
the fucking-
Fuck, fuck, baby.
170
00:12:04,654 --> 00:12:07,885
We're full time party girls,
Val. Okay? It's what we do.
171
00:12:07,957 --> 00:12:10,357
And it's like, you don't
want us doing what we do.
172
00:12:10,426 --> 00:12:13,554
Yeah, like making me wear
panties to the Saturn A wards,
173
00:12:13,629 --> 00:12:15,790
or not letting Rome shave her head.
174
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:19,631
Girls, girls, it's not
about wearing panties
175
00:12:19,702 --> 00:12:23,103
or shaving
your puss- Head,
176
00:12:23,172 --> 00:12:28,075
It's about not letting these
parasitic boyfriends drag you down.
177
00:12:28,144 --> 00:12:31,910
You got to evolve
into modern women.
178
00:12:31,981 --> 00:12:34,347
More like modern
rug munchers.
179
00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:37,443
Shit- Uh-
180
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:41,388
Uh, uh, Madre de Dlos Madre de Dlos
181
00:12:41,457 --> 00:12:42,856
Damn I
182
00:12:42,925 --> 00:12:44,916
What happened?
183
00:12:47,408 --> 00:12:49,205
Get off of me
184
00:12:51,952 --> 00:12:53,943
What the fuck
is wrong with you, Jezus?
185
00:12:54,021 --> 00:12:57,320
It's "Jesus", puta, and I
hit a fucking detour sign.
186
00:12:57,391 --> 00:12:58,653
I n the middle
of the road?
187
00:12:58,726 --> 00:12:59,920
Yeah.
188
00:12:59,994 --> 00:13:01,859
How much is this
gonna cost me, Jesus?
189
00:13:01,929 --> 00:13:05,797
Knowing your cheap ass, you probably
didn't even insure this piece of shit,
190
00:13:05,866 --> 00:13:07,800
so I just made you
some money, bruja.
191
00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:12,168
Look, they spelled it
the French way.
192
00:13:12,239 --> 00:13:13,763
Where the fuck
are we anyway?
193
00:13:13,841 --> 00:13:15,775
Iowa.
194
00:13:15,843 --> 00:13:18,403
How the fuck
did we get to Iowa?
195
00:13:18,479 --> 00:13:20,572
Sorry, I was a little bit distracted.
196
00:13:22,416 --> 00:13:25,442
Hey, we could
always camp out.
197
00:13:25,519 --> 00:13:28,283
You know, get the girls In thongs,
198
00:13:28,355 --> 00:13:30,915
roasting marshmallows,
199
00:13:30,991 --> 00:13:33,084
It would make
for some great footage.
200
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,459
H m, I don't think so. This
place looks way too creepy.
201
00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:39,055
Yeah, It makes
Biscuit's hair stand up.
202
00:13:39,133 --> 00:13:41,533
That would be
the Formaldehyde, babe.
203
00:13:41,602 --> 00:13:43,763
Dude, respect.
204
00:13:43,837 --> 00:13:47,534
For once, I agree with the
debutantes. Let's just get out of here.
205
00:13:47,608 --> 00:13:50,202
I hate to Interrupt
the production meeting
206
00:13:50,277 --> 00:13:52,837
but I got two busted front
tires and only one spare,
207
00:13:52,913 --> 00:13:54,346
we ain't
going nowhere.
208
00:13:54,415 --> 00:13:55,609
Call Triple A.
209
00:13:55,682 --> 00:13:57,445
Call them yourself,
diabla rubia.
210
00:13:57,518 --> 00:13:59,486
God! Do I have
to do everything?
211
00:14:03,057 --> 00:14:04,854
There's no signal.
212
00:14:04,925 --> 00:14:07,519
Que sorpresal
213
00:14:07,594 --> 00:14:10,119
Pleasant dreams, m'Ijosl
214
00:14:17,004 --> 00:14:20,269
What? They spelled it in French.
215
00:14:45,432 --> 00:14:47,059
K- Jay! I said no anal!
216
00:14:47,134 --> 00:14:49,694
Babe, don't look at me!
217
00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:55,299
Uh, I was just checking
the, uh, the battery and-
218
00:14:55,375 --> 00:14:58,674
Come on, babe, let's get some privacy.
219
00:14:58,745 --> 00:15:02,647
That's right, fool. Get
sticky with yourself.
220
00:15:08,288 --> 00:15:11,985
Oh, yeah, baby! Lower,
lower! Rake the clam!
221
00:15:12,059 --> 00:15:13,822
Is that good?
Is that good?
222
00:15:13,894 --> 00:15:16,829
Rake it. Rake the clam. Rake it!
223
00:15:16,897 --> 00:15:18,047
You like that?
224
00:15:18,098 --> 00:15:22,125
Yeah! Now give us
a nice big smile.
225
00:15:24,202 --> 00:15:26,432
Oh, nightmare.
226
00:15:26,504 --> 00:15:27,971
Tinkle time.
227
00:15:28,039 --> 00:15:29,529
Make that tinkle
for two.
228
00:15:29,607 --> 00:15:31,700
Let's finish
together this time.
229
00:15:31,776 --> 00:15:33,607
One.
230
00:15:33,678 --> 00:15:35,373
Two.
231
00:15:35,446 --> 00:15:36,811
Three
232
00:15:36,881 --> 00:15:38,041
What the fuck!
233
00:15:38,116 --> 00:15:40,482
Welcome to Pleasant
Vally! H m, sorta.
234
00:15:40,551 --> 00:15:44,078
# Hey, Hey
Yowdy, heydy, aye #
235
00:15:44,155 --> 00:15:49,388
# Great new world
Brand new day #
236
00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:55,833
# Hey, Hey
Yowdy, heydy, aye. #
237
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,527
Whoo-hal
238
00:15:57,602 --> 00:16:00,332
Now let me introduce
myself. Name's Buckman,
239
00:16:00,405 --> 00:16:04,239
George W. Buckman, and
ya'll arrived just in time
240
00:16:04,309 --> 00:16:08,871
to be our special guests at the
Pleasant Valley Travelling Jamboree
241
00:16:10,782 --> 00:16:12,147
You clowns
for real?
242
00:16:12,216 --> 00:16:14,741
As
it gets, macho.
243
00:16:14,819 --> 00:16:18,311
That's right. Now, uh,
back In our hometown
244
00:16:18,389 --> 00:16:20,414
of dear 'oI Pleasant
Valley, Georgia,
245
00:16:20,491 --> 00:16:22,152
every year about this time-
246
00:16:22,226 --> 00:16:23,853
Whoa.
247
00:16:23,928 --> 00:16:25,555
What the hell Is that?
248
00:16:25,630 --> 00:16:30,624
Why, that's
my pooch box.
249
00:16:30,702 --> 00:16:32,499
Pooch box?
250
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:35,061
Scarlet Red means
log box, gentlemen,
251
00:16:35,139 --> 00:16:39,872
come her 18th birthday I
may present her with the key.
252
00:16:39,944 --> 00:16:42,777
She's very progressive.
253
00:16:42,847 --> 00:16:48,217
Oh, you good at licking rock, Hollywood?
254
00:16:48,286 --> 00:16:51,483
Hell, I'll lick
your rock silly, babe.
255
00:16:51,556 --> 00:16:55,720
China Rose
is trying to say
256
00:16:55,793 --> 00:17:01,026
" Picking locks?
My lock. "
257
00:17:01,099 --> 00:17:03,329
I can pick locks.
258
00:17:03,401 --> 00:17:06,859
When I was a kid, I broke into a shul,
259
00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:11,432
and the Shammes caught
me lifting a challah.
260
00:17:11,509 --> 00:17:15,411
Holy Moly I Folks,
we got ourselves a Hebrew I
261
00:17:17,014 --> 00:17:19,075
That's "Jew"
to you, Colonel.
262
00:17:19,127 --> 00:17:21,561
Every year, down in
Georgia, we put on a show-
263
00:17:21,629 --> 00:17:23,688
Wait a minute.
Did you say Georgia?
264
00:17:23,765 --> 00:17:26,598
Why, yeah, ma'am,
our proud govern state.
265
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:30,660
Do you think we could cheat
this local for Georgia?
266
00:17:30,738 --> 00:17:34,299
For the right price,
I can play Laguna Beach
267
00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:36,673
for the Golan Heights.
268
00:17:36,744 --> 00:17:39,008
What's all
the whispering about?
269
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,015
Uh, Mayor Buckman.
Turner, VaI Tuner.
270
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,380
Producer.
271
00:17:43,451 --> 00:17:45,214
Oh.
272
00:17:45,286 --> 00:17:49,552
Well, I do think we
shall join your jamboree.
273
00:17:49,624 --> 00:17:52,650
Well, that's great news
274
00:17:52,727 --> 00:17:54,160
H it, Crow!
275
00:17:54,228 --> 00:17:56,696
# Hot games and feasting'
Yeah! #
276
00:18:17,818 --> 00:18:20,514
Christ on a cracker, boys.
277
00:18:20,588 --> 00:18:23,853
After all
these 140 odd years,
278
00:18:23,924 --> 00:18:28,293
sometimes, I think
we should just,
279
00:18:28,362 --> 00:18:32,298
burn the whole goddamn
North in one giant bonfire!
280
00:18:32,366 --> 00:18:36,700
Ah, but,
what's the style In that?
281
00:18:36,770 --> 00:18:38,533
One shot discharge-
282
00:18:38,606 --> 00:18:42,235
None, Captain my .
None at all.
283
00:18:42,309 --> 00:18:44,937
You're damn
right, Harper,
284
00:18:45,012 --> 00:18:48,709
besides, It goes
against tradition,
285
00:18:48,782 --> 00:18:54,311
and quite frankly,
Is about all we got left.
286
00:18:58,125 --> 00:19:00,093
The network
is gonna love this,
287
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,185
a bunch
of redneck outsiders
288
00:19:02,263 --> 00:19:04,595
who thought the South won the Civil War.
289
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,360
They didn't?
290
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:08,367
No, Tina,
they didn't.
291
00:19:08,435 --> 00:19:10,903
Duh, that's right.
It was the Nazis.
292
00:19:10,971 --> 00:19:13,269
Anyway, while our
sister act pretties up...
293
00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:15,808
Jesus, you and Jerry
294
00:19:15,876 --> 00:19:19,869
go and do some scouting. See if you
can find some indigenous locations here.
295
00:19:19,947 --> 00:19:22,507
You do know what
"indigenous" means, right?
296
00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:26,883
Hey, VaI, why don't you, me and Bristol
297
00:19:26,954 --> 00:19:30,014
do some Interviews
with the hicks?
298
00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:32,558
You know, put
a face to the place.
299
00:19:32,626 --> 00:19:35,686
If you don't mind, I'd rather
go with Jesus and Cherry.
300
00:19:35,763 --> 00:19:37,594
What? You got a thing for this cholo?
301
00:19:37,665 --> 00:19:40,225
What's that? You want me
to give you a second briss?
302
00:19:40,301 --> 00:19:41,893
Chill out, Jay.
303
00:19:41,969 --> 00:19:44,062
Look, I'll
carry your shit,
304
00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:46,732
you just go show
her a good time.
305
00:19:46,807 --> 00:19:49,503
Make sure you save enough
sugar for Black Cherry.
306
00:19:49,577 --> 00:19:50,976
Cool?
307
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,542
Cool
308
00:19:54,615 --> 00:19:56,378
Whatever.
309
00:19:56,450 --> 00:19:59,851
Come on, get over It,
Jerry. Come on, come on.
310
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:03,287
If we nail this, the network
Is gonna be talking spin offs,
311
00:20:03,357 --> 00:20:06,326
pay per view
blue ray box set.
312
00:20:06,393 --> 00:20:09,658
If these fine folks of
Pleasant Valley play ball,
313
00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:13,723
this gig
will never end!
314
00:20:15,603 --> 00:20:18,003
I know I speak
for us all, sir,
315
00:20:18,072 --> 00:20:20,506
when I say I'm proud to
be among the chosen few
316
00:20:20,574 --> 00:20:24,101
here with you, In the chance
location of the troubles.
317
00:20:24,178 --> 00:20:27,636
Well, God
bless you Harper.
318
00:20:27,715 --> 00:20:31,913
You know, you're rigging' a goddamn
Mark Twain with you poetizing.
319
00:20:31,986 --> 00:20:36,389
You have earned your spot
on the bus. Ya'll did!
320
00:20:36,457 --> 00:20:37,788
Even Jezebel, too, Daddy?
321
00:20:37,858 --> 00:20:40,827
Yeah, Jezebel, too.
322
00:20:40,894 --> 00:20:44,421
Except she earned her spot in
the section called " Provisions"!
323
00:20:44,498 --> 00:20:46,466
You don't mean
you're gonna harm-
324
00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:50,299
I mean that stuffed
piece of lamb is gonna be
325
00:20:50,371 --> 00:20:52,999
on my dining room table
next to some mint jelly
326
00:20:53,073 --> 00:20:55,007
and a good bottle
of Muscatel
327
00:20:55,075 --> 00:20:58,772
unless you boys go out there
and get me some Yonkers quick!
328
00:20:58,846 --> 00:21:01,610
Now skedaddle!
329
00:21:01,682 --> 00:21:05,083
And make me proud.
330
00:21:05,152 --> 00:21:08,451
Or something like it.
331
00:21:13,627 --> 00:21:16,118
So when's
your CD dropping?
332
00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:17,822
End of summer.
333
00:21:17,898 --> 00:21:20,799
Excuse me, your CD?
What happened to our CD?
334
00:21:20,868 --> 00:21:23,268
We can't do everything
together Romy,
335
00:21:23,337 --> 00:21:26,238
besides, it's music,
not a basketball team.
336
00:21:26,306 --> 00:21:28,797
Yeah, the label wants me to record, too.
337
00:21:28,876 --> 00:21:30,343
EM O meets
death metal.
338
00:21:30,411 --> 00:21:32,538
Ha! Ballads
with balls.
339
00:21:42,416 --> 00:21:45,908
So what's a hottie like you
doing with a limp dick like Jerry?
340
00:21:45,986 --> 00:21:50,582
Ever hear of the dumb blond that slept
with the writer to get ahead in Hollywood?
341
00:21:50,658 --> 00:21:52,182
Guess that was me.
342
00:21:52,259 --> 00:21:55,228
Oh, baby, you're no dumb
blond, you're just misinformed.
343
00:21:55,296 --> 00:22:00,063
See, it's not the writers or directors
that get you ahead, it's the teamsters.
344
00:22:00,134 --> 00:22:01,897
You stick with me,
I'll hook you up.
345
00:22:01,969 --> 00:22:03,994
Yeah, I've never heard that one before.
346
00:22:04,071 --> 00:22:06,835
Bitch, I ain't
playing you.
347
00:22:06,907 --> 00:22:09,171
Oh, yeah? So who are you
gonna hook me up with?
348
00:22:09,243 --> 00:22:12,610
For one, a bunch of buddies got
this indie hard thing going on.
349
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,046
See, horror has its hell
these days, you know?
350
00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:18,210
I would love to get
killed in a horror flick.
351
00:22:18,285 --> 00:22:20,446
I bet you would and I
bet you'd look good, too
352
00:22:20,521 --> 00:22:24,548
all naked and covered
in blood and shit.
353
00:22:27,862 --> 00:22:28,995
Damn.
354
00:22:28,996 --> 00:22:31,590
Yo, ladies.
355
00:22:31,665 --> 00:22:33,895
It seems like
a job for a homie.
356
00:22:33,968 --> 00:22:37,369
Oh, Yankee
suckee dickee?
357
00:22:37,438 --> 00:22:39,030
I said "homie, "
not "homo. "
358
00:22:39,106 --> 00:22:40,698
Give me
that thing.
359
00:22:40,775 --> 00:22:43,903
Now that a gentleman
has eased our burden
360
00:22:43,978 --> 00:22:46,538
we can finally
commence to practice.
361
00:22:46,614 --> 00:22:50,175
Uh, excuse me ladies, but we were
in the middle of a conversation here.
362
00:22:50,251 --> 00:22:52,583
Madre de Dios.
363
00:22:54,855 --> 00:22:57,983
Uh, Jesus,
remember me?
364
00:22:58,058 --> 00:23:01,858
Bristol, horror movies,
covered In blood?
365
00:23:01,929 --> 00:23:04,124
Naked?
366
00:23:04,198 --> 00:23:05,722
Ugh.
367
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,769
Madre de Dios.
Definitely more tongue.
368
00:23:08,836 --> 00:23:11,498
Are you getting this?
You are perfect, Granny.
369
00:23:11,572 --> 00:23:13,699
Sure you got
a tight shot?
370
00:23:13,774 --> 00:23:15,537
Yeah, I got it.
371
00:23:15,609 --> 00:23:17,509
Let's start
shooting, come on.
372
00:23:17,578 --> 00:23:19,876
Am I good?
My rouge looks good?
373
00:23:19,947 --> 00:23:21,539
You're beautiful.
374
00:23:21,615 --> 00:23:25,984
I want you to really-
Okay, and action I
375
00:23:26,053 --> 00:23:28,647
Our native
American friends-
376
00:23:28,722 --> 00:23:30,883
All right. Cut. Cut I
377
00:23:30,958 --> 00:23:32,482
Excuse me, but-
378
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,791
I'll excuse me,
but I'm the director
379
00:23:35,863 --> 00:23:38,525
and I'm the one
who calls "Cut. "
380
00:23:38,599 --> 00:23:41,966
I write
the checks, okay?
381
00:23:42,036 --> 00:23:45,369
All right, the
structures aren't working.
382
00:23:45,439 --> 00:23:48,875
Let me think. Granny,
profile. Give me a profile.
383
00:23:48,943 --> 00:23:50,274
I got two.
384
00:23:50,344 --> 00:23:52,835
Other profile.
Face this way.
385
00:23:52,913 --> 00:23:56,314
All right, just
go with it. Action!
386
00:23:56,383 --> 00:24:00,581
Our native American friends
taught us the many uses of maize.
387
00:24:00,654 --> 00:24:04,954
You can boil it,
you can pop it,
388
00:24:05,025 --> 00:24:07,858
and ladies, trust me,
389
00:24:07,928 --> 00:24:10,726
with a little pig butter-
390
00:24:10,798 --> 00:24:15,929
this corn cob makes one
hell of a nighttime buddy.
391
00:25:14,128 --> 00:25:18,428
Lookie-Loo, Jezzle,
a fallen soldlerette.
392
00:25:20,434 --> 00:25:23,562
Sniff her out, girl,
check her vitals.
393
00:25:26,073 --> 00:25:27,904
Yo, get that beast
away from her.
394
00:25:27,975 --> 00:25:30,535
That beast is my
lady friend, senor.
395
00:25:30,611 --> 00:25:33,444
And If you are habia
Ingles you'd understand
396
00:25:33,514 --> 00:25:36,074
she's telling you to
go call on M r. Harper.
397
00:25:36,150 --> 00:25:38,914
M r. Harper?
398
00:25:38,986 --> 00:25:43,184
Alexander Harper, honey. He our
veterinarian, he fix chicken and such.
399
00:25:43,257 --> 00:25:45,418
Oh, he does people, too.
400
00:25:45,492 --> 00:25:48,825
I want some, so pig
knuckle on the Chinaman.
401
00:25:57,738 --> 00:25:58,838
Hey I
402
00:25:58,839 --> 00:26:01,000
Yo, you mind?
403
00:26:01,075 --> 00:26:03,305
The name's
Hucklebilly, dumb ass.
404
00:26:05,813 --> 00:26:07,212
And I don't mind at all.
405
00:26:07,281 --> 00:26:09,613
You like what
you see, little man?
406
00:26:09,683 --> 00:26:12,675
My, my, my,
the South is rising.
407
00:26:12,753 --> 00:26:15,244
Dang! It must've
gotten stung by a bee.
408
00:26:15,322 --> 00:26:16,880
I'm all swelled up
down there.
409
00:26:16,957 --> 00:26:18,720
Don't you have
some cotton to pick?
410
00:26:18,792 --> 00:26:20,350
Some shit to shovel?
411
00:26:20,427 --> 00:26:23,260
My chores are done.
It's playtime now.
412
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,461
Why are you
stampeding me?
413
00:26:28,535 --> 00:26:31,060
Get your paws off me
you damned dirty yanks.
414
00:26:31,138 --> 00:26:33,038
We'll give you
a lesson, H ucklefuck.
415
00:26:33,107 --> 00:26:35,302
Hucklebilly,
ass clown.
416
00:26:35,376 --> 00:26:39,244
The way things look down there you
two might wanna get yourself stung.
417
00:26:39,313 --> 00:26:41,042
Party poopers!
418
00:26:49,323 --> 00:26:52,222
Hello?
419
00:26:54,628 --> 00:26:56,994
Yo, anybody here?
420
00:26:58,632 --> 00:27:01,533
Looks like the little lady
can use my help, Santiago.
421
00:27:01,602 --> 00:27:04,002
It's "Jesus. "
422
00:27:04,071 --> 00:27:08,337
And no shit, Sherlock, she had
an accident, she bumped her head.
423
00:27:08,409 --> 00:27:11,435
Give me that iron.
The one on the table.
424
00:27:11,512 --> 00:27:13,571
You know,
If you like son,
425
00:27:13,647 --> 00:27:17,174
I can also help you with
that speech Impediment.
426
00:27:17,251 --> 00:27:19,116
Yo, Dracula,
it's called an accent.
427
00:27:20,988 --> 00:27:23,218
The good doctor
needs his quiet, dude,
428
00:27:23,290 --> 00:27:25,952
I suggest
you join the others.
429
00:27:26,026 --> 00:27:27,721
Go on, boy, go on.
430
00:27:27,795 --> 00:27:30,889
I must make sure you fix her good,
I don't want nobody suing me.
431
00:27:30,964 --> 00:27:33,956
No need to worry,
we'll bring her round.
432
00:27:34,034 --> 00:27:36,161
When she's done.
433
00:27:36,236 --> 00:27:39,467
Whatever, ojete.
Knock yourselves out.
434
00:27:39,540 --> 00:27:42,270
Oh, you can
crack corn on that.
435
00:27:42,342 --> 00:27:44,606
Agh I
436
00:27:48,549 --> 00:27:50,744
The secret
to Southern home cooking
437
00:27:50,818 --> 00:27:54,345
is you never ever tenderize
without loving your blade.
438
00:27:54,421 --> 00:27:57,015
I love you.
439
00:27:57,091 --> 00:27:59,787
Treat your meat
as you would an old friend.
440
00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:02,829
Ha! Come on in. Agh!
441
00:28:02,896 --> 00:28:05,194
Or an enemy.
442
00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:08,834
Or your friends and enemies!
443
00:28:08,902 --> 00:28:11,302
Agh!
444
00:28:13,907 --> 00:28:16,171
Agh! Agh!
445
00:28:18,746 --> 00:28:20,737
It's dinner time!
446
00:28:20,814 --> 00:28:24,807
It's dinner time Come
eat your goddamn .
447
00:28:24,885 --> 00:28:26,853
It's time
448
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:30,356
What you doing
now, Rufus?
449
00:28:30,424 --> 00:28:33,393
I'm making myself
a Jesus chicken.
450
00:28:33,460 --> 00:28:35,360
Oh, Christ.
451
00:28:35,429 --> 00:28:36,623
Cut.
452
00:28:47,818 --> 00:28:49,445
Guess who?
453
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,546
You know what Granny told you
about coming in here like this.
454
00:28:52,623 --> 00:28:55,683
Aw, the heck
with her, Jemima!
455
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:59,856
My passion for you
is stronger than candy.
456
00:28:59,930 --> 00:29:02,330
It's hotter
than corn bread.
457
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,834
It's sweeter
than watermelon.
458
00:29:04,902 --> 00:29:07,996
H m. Remember the first time
you crept into my stable,
459
00:29:08,072 --> 00:29:10,267
told me how things
were gonna be,
460
00:29:10,341 --> 00:29:12,138
I'd be
your tar baby,
461
00:29:12,209 --> 00:29:14,439
I'd do
whatever you like,
462
00:29:14,512 --> 00:29:18,846
no matter how dirty, or nasty
or forbidden it might be?
463
00:29:18,916 --> 00:29:22,181
I am your
lord and master.
464
00:29:22,253 --> 00:29:27,122
Are you really? Are
you really in charge?
465
00:29:27,191 --> 00:29:29,591
Uh,
466
00:29:29,660 --> 00:29:31,890
Are you really? Are
you really in charge?
467
00:29:31,962 --> 00:29:33,429
I think so.
468
00:29:33,497 --> 00:29:36,022
I'm gonna lick
you clean, Master.
469
00:29:39,437 --> 00:29:41,462
Ah, Jemlma.
470
00:29:48,679 --> 00:29:50,237
Oh!
471
00:29:50,314 --> 00:29:53,408
Goddammit, Buckman! You
romancing my griddle cakes again?
472
00:29:53,484 --> 00:29:55,384
No, Granny!
No. No.
473
00:29:55,453 --> 00:30:01,551
You're just thinking about your darker
nature, is what you're thinking about.
474
00:30:01,625 --> 00:30:03,923
Go on!
475
00:30:03,994 --> 00:30:09,125
Oh, you race trader,
you chocolate dipping-
476
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,225
Guess who?
477
00:30:11,302 --> 00:30:14,362
Oh, fudge dripping.
478
00:30:14,438 --> 00:30:15,769
H mmm.
479
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,365
Black ebony!
480
00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:22,071
# Do you even know
Who you are? #
481
00:30:22,146 --> 00:30:24,876
# Facebook Superstar #
482
00:30:32,590 --> 00:30:34,990
This is
a very expensive,
483
00:30:35,059 --> 00:30:36,856
very uninsured camera
484
00:30:36,927 --> 00:30:38,986
that my uncle Sal
got me for Passover.
485
00:30:39,063 --> 00:30:43,261
And if it's fucked,
I'm suing somebody's ass.
486
00:30:43,334 --> 00:30:46,064
Probably yours,
I'm just saying.
487
00:30:46,137 --> 00:30:47,832
And I'm saying,
that old hag
488
00:30:47,905 --> 00:30:51,272
was chopping those chickens like
she was Jeffrey freaking Dahmer,
489
00:30:51,342 --> 00:30:53,867
so fuck your camera! I
ain't filming these people.
490
00:30:53,944 --> 00:30:57,141
At least these people are not
afraid of a little hard work.
491
00:30:57,214 --> 00:30:58,875
Kiss my black ass, Val.
492
00:30:58,949 --> 00:31:01,076
Bend over, honey,
and I will.
493
00:31:01,152 --> 00:31:04,918
Hey, Bossman, why don't you let
me work the lens, I got experience.
494
00:31:04,989 --> 00:31:07,048
Last time
you worked the lens,
495
00:31:07,124 --> 00:31:09,615
it cost my Daddy half a
mill to buy back the video.
496
00:31:09,693 --> 00:31:11,126
It made
you famous.
497
00:31:11,195 --> 00:31:13,663
No shit, I got my
little bro through juvie.
498
00:31:13,731 --> 00:31:15,858
Ah, look who's here,
499
00:31:15,933 --> 00:31:17,628
so, Jesus,
where's Bristol?
500
00:31:17,701 --> 00:31:20,169
Oh, she's with the
doc, PM S or some shit.
501
00:31:20,237 --> 00:31:22,569
It's cool,
he's got a tent.
502
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:26,906
So let me get this straight.
You left Bristol with some, uh,
503
00:31:26,977 --> 00:31:31,505
some white trash doctor and
it's 'cause he's got a tent!
504
00:31:31,582 --> 00:31:34,107
Yeah, I thought you people
were with doctors.
505
00:31:34,185 --> 00:31:37,086
You let them suck the shit out
of your fat asses, don't you?
506
00:31:37,154 --> 00:31:39,782
That's it!
I can't work this way,
507
00:31:39,857 --> 00:31:42,121
I mean, It's bad enough
I don't get per diem,
508
00:31:42,193 --> 00:31:45,253
now I gotta take insults from
Speedy Gonzalez over here!
509
00:31:45,329 --> 00:31:49,925
I'm finding Bristol
and I'm outta here.
510
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,992
You walk, you're in breach.
Then it's your ass getting sued.
511
00:31:53,070 --> 00:31:55,004
Good point.
512
00:31:55,072 --> 00:31:57,768
Chill out, Schindler.
I'll go get your girl.
513
00:31:57,842 --> 00:31:59,867
Oh, no you don't.
Sit down.
514
00:31:59,944 --> 00:32:03,846
You can go. Next scene
up Is Rome and Tina solo.
515
00:32:03,914 --> 00:32:06,144
H m. Hot.
516
00:32:06,217 --> 00:32:09,448
Walt. You think
two girls Is hot?
517
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,511
Totally.
518
00:32:11,589 --> 00:32:13,716
All sushi
and no hot dog?
519
00:32:13,791 --> 00:32:15,986
Sure.
520
00:32:16,060 --> 00:32:19,518
No blunt objects, nothing
you can poke en eye out with?
521
00:32:19,597 --> 00:32:23,590
I think two
girls is hot.
522
00:32:25,169 --> 00:32:26,864
What?
523
00:32:26,937 --> 00:32:28,302
Fuck.
524
00:32:34,011 --> 00:32:38,072
# A shy Southern belle #
525
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,387
# A proud,
Confederate gentleman #
526
00:32:48,425 --> 00:32:51,121
# Now they're
Lost in hell #
527
00:32:54,365 --> 00:32:56,856
# This love once heaven #
528
00:33:03,641 --> 00:33:05,666
Ugh.
529
00:33:05,743 --> 00:33:08,234
There are
some desires
530
00:33:08,312 --> 00:33:11,941
that even death cannot remove,
wouldn't you agree, Buckman?
531
00:33:12,016 --> 00:33:14,678
Oh, yeah, like revenge.
532
00:33:14,752 --> 00:33:18,085
I'm not talking
about killing'.
533
00:33:20,324 --> 00:33:24,158
I'm talking about loving'.
534
00:33:27,731 --> 00:33:31,997
Because that's always the
thirst before the slaughter
535
00:33:32,069 --> 00:33:34,697
that gets
the temperature risin'.
536
00:33:34,772 --> 00:33:36,171
Oh, yeah.
537
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:39,232
Well, thank God we got
that lovely Milk Maiden.
538
00:33:39,310 --> 00:33:42,302
Screw our lovely
Milk Maiden!
539
00:33:42,379 --> 00:33:45,177
And I'm sure you are,
you son of a bitch!
540
00:33:49,420 --> 00:33:51,581
Hey, Granny,
what's cooking'?
541
00:33:53,357 --> 00:33:54,722
Huck?
542
00:33:54,792 --> 00:33:56,316
Buck.
543
00:33:56,393 --> 00:33:58,293
Fuck.
544
00:33:58,362 --> 00:34:00,592
That's what
I'm trying to do!
545
00:34:02,132 --> 00:34:03,360
Ugh.
546
00:34:06,136 --> 00:34:09,663
It's stroke left,
then right,
547
00:34:09,740 --> 00:34:11,640
and you might
wanna blow In her rear.
548
00:34:11,709 --> 00:34:14,200
That really gets
Jezzie's juices flowing.
549
00:34:14,278 --> 00:34:16,542
No way, same
with my baby.
550
00:34:16,614 --> 00:34:19,082
Yes, ma'am.
You know it.
551
00:34:19,149 --> 00:34:21,083
It gets them wet.
552
00:34:21,151 --> 00:34:23,711
Like a bog
or a bayou.
553
00:34:23,787 --> 00:34:29,384
Hey, how about next, you let Jezebel
give Biscuit a little pony ride?
554
00:34:29,460 --> 00:34:32,793
Yeah I hear sawdust and
sawdust Is a real turn on.
555
00:34:32,863 --> 00:34:35,388
What kind of doggie
biscuit is this?
556
00:34:35,466 --> 00:34:36,728
Put him
down, now.
557
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,495
It's a him?
How can you tell?
558
00:34:38,569 --> 00:34:39,669
Now!
559
00:34:39,670 --> 00:34:41,729
Falcon, do something.
560
00:34:41,805 --> 00:34:44,706
Hey, be gentle
with that, okay?
561
00:34:44,775 --> 00:34:48,006
I can be gentle.
562
00:34:48,078 --> 00:34:51,514
God dang
sodomites.
563
00:35:05,229 --> 00:35:07,493
Doo, doo, doo.
564
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:16,763
Hm.
565
00:35:18,809 --> 00:35:20,367
Hm.
566
00:35:22,212 --> 00:35:24,180
Hm.
567
00:35:24,248 --> 00:35:26,216
Ugh!
568
00:35:29,153 --> 00:35:31,053
Now this right
here is unholy.
569
00:35:34,291 --> 00:35:36,088
I'm too sober
for this shit.
570
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,287
You think Miss
Bossman will miss us?
571
00:35:38,362 --> 00:35:42,890
Oh, Miss Bossman's too
lost to worry about us.
572
00:35:50,140 --> 00:35:51,971
Hm-hm.
573
00:35:53,644 --> 00:35:55,111
Hm.
574
00:36:01,418 --> 00:36:04,410
I wonder what type of J
these freaks are smoking.
575
00:36:04,488 --> 00:36:06,820
They stay in character
like this all day?
576
00:36:06,890 --> 00:36:10,758
10 to 1 It's
as fine as mine.
577
00:36:10,828 --> 00:36:13,319
Parati. Parami.
578
00:36:15,432 --> 00:36:17,366
Come on, baby,
let me fuego.
579
00:36:20,037 --> 00:36:22,665
Yo, where'd
everybody go?
580
00:36:22,740 --> 00:36:24,367
Where's the party at?
581
00:36:24,441 --> 00:36:27,205
Soldier blue.
582
00:36:31,014 --> 00:36:34,973
Soldier Blue? What the
fuck's a Soldier Blue?
583
00:36:37,020 --> 00:36:40,012
Pearl? I'll give you
a pearl necklace.
584
00:36:40,090 --> 00:36:46,859
Soldier blue.
585
00:36:46,930 --> 00:36:49,763
Oh! Here's where
the party's at.
586
00:36:53,203 --> 00:36:55,671
Hello? Ladies?
587
00:36:55,739 --> 00:36:59,004
Oh, you girls wanna
play hide and seek?
588
00:36:59,076 --> 00:37:01,772
K- Jay loves
hide and seek.
589
00:37:10,387 --> 00:37:12,947
blue.
590
00:37:13,023 --> 00:37:16,151
Want to slip
Into something more-
591
00:37:16,226 --> 00:37:18,217
Comfortable?
592
00:38:16,687 --> 00:38:18,518
Why are we
doing this again?
593
00:38:18,589 --> 00:38:22,548
Look, I told you
it's representational.
594
00:38:22,626 --> 00:38:25,959
The epic struggle between
the North and the South.
595
00:38:26,029 --> 00:38:29,157
Brother against brother,
sister against sister.
596
00:38:29,233 --> 00:38:30,860
Good against evil!
597
00:38:30,934 --> 00:38:32,799
Just take her top off.
598
00:38:32,870 --> 00:38:36,203
I'm too fucking stoned
to undo all this shit.
599
00:38:36,273 --> 00:38:38,707
Take them off.
Shut up.
600
00:38:38,775 --> 00:38:42,176
I need to get out
of this place.
601
00:38:42,246 --> 00:38:44,544
I do too, baby,
we just got here.
602
00:38:44,615 --> 00:38:48,278
Did you blow your nose on me? You
got some fucking mocos In there?
603
00:38:48,352 --> 00:38:49,910
No, shut up.
604
00:38:49,987 --> 00:38:51,249
Green-nosed goblins.
605
00:38:53,323 --> 00:38:56,417
I feel like I'm back In the
sweatshop In Tegucigalpa.
606
00:38:56,493 --> 00:38:59,758
She's totally a Lesbian
and won't fucking admit It.
607
00:38:59,830 --> 00:39:02,663
My name is VaI
and I am a Lesbian.
608
00:39:04,301 --> 00:39:07,395
Will you please reprogram
me with your Mexican wiener?
609
00:39:09,106 --> 00:39:12,303
Take off
my bandanna, baby.
610
00:39:12,376 --> 00:39:13,900
Uh?
611
00:39:13,977 --> 00:39:18,778
Are you ready to put on our
fucking Confederate clothing?
612
00:39:18,849 --> 00:39:20,874
To join
these assholes?
613
00:39:22,419 --> 00:39:24,046
Did you
hear something?
614
00:39:24,121 --> 00:39:26,146
I did.
What was that?
615
00:39:42,005 --> 00:39:44,803
Now we get down
to business, Soldier Blue.
616
00:39:44,875 --> 00:39:47,366
Five dollar,
I make you holler.
617
00:39:47,444 --> 00:39:50,971
Whatever you like
I do for you.
618
00:39:51,048 --> 00:39:52,743
How about 20
for plenty?
619
00:39:52,816 --> 00:39:54,579
Okay.
620
00:39:55,886 --> 00:39:57,649
Oh.
621
00:39:57,721 --> 00:40:01,782
So glad you could join us for your
complimentary old time photograph.
622
00:40:01,858 --> 00:40:03,951
You're gonna take
pictures of this shit?
623
00:40:04,027 --> 00:40:08,259
We like to capture the true
essence of our "jamboree. "
624
00:40:08,332 --> 00:40:11,768
Hey, I'm down.
Just keep it off the net.
625
00:40:11,835 --> 00:40:13,393
Uh-uh-uh.
626
00:40:13,470 --> 00:40:16,166
Don't you move, boy.
We need you sitting' still.
627
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:18,730
Lest they come
out blurry. Ooh!
628
00:40:18,809 --> 00:40:23,906
Fuck me like you're gonna
get your green card, baby.
629
00:40:23,981 --> 00:40:26,541
Emancipate me, baby.
Emancipate me!
630
00:40:26,616 --> 00:40:30,416
Faster, you Mexican
jumping bean!
631
00:40:41,398 --> 00:40:45,630
Darn ya', Oprah, you grunt
louder than a churchyard chicken.
632
00:40:48,171 --> 00:40:50,765
Well, nice and tight,
Miss Scarlet.
633
00:40:50,841 --> 00:40:53,810
N ice and tight
and hard and firm.
634
00:40:53,877 --> 00:40:55,538
Exactly how I like it.
635
00:40:55,612 --> 00:40:58,877
Oh I I'll bet you do, son.
I'll bet you do.
636
00:40:58,949 --> 00:41:01,679
Well, Granny,
637
00:41:01,752 --> 00:41:04,619
it looks like our honored
guest is ready for his closeup.
638
00:41:04,688 --> 00:41:08,021
Walt, dude, I don't wanna
have my picture taken anymore.
639
00:41:08,091 --> 00:41:10,685
Want has nothing to
do with it, M r. K-Jay.
640
00:41:10,761 --> 00:41:13,753
That's right, boy.
I am sure,
641
00:41:13,830 --> 00:41:18,893
that these fine Southern gentlemen
didn't want their portraits taken neither.
642
00:41:18,969 --> 00:41:22,427
I am sure that they did
not want to be in this war,
643
00:41:22,506 --> 00:41:25,031
and I am
especially sure
644
00:41:25,108 --> 00:41:27,474
that they did not want
their family and houses
645
00:41:27,544 --> 00:41:30,445
burnt to the ground
by you Northern heathens
646
00:41:30,514 --> 00:41:34,245
Whoa! " Northern heathen?"
Dude, I'm from Burbank.
647
00:41:34,317 --> 00:41:37,013
That's where
the devil lives.
648
00:41:37,087 --> 00:41:40,056
Bye-bye.
649
00:41:43,393 --> 00:41:45,190
Say cheese!
650
00:41:45,262 --> 00:41:46,412
Oh I
651
00:41:56,506 --> 00:42:00,806
# Yankee Doodle went to town
To bone himself a hottie #
652
00:42:00,877 --> 00:42:02,367
Amen, brother.
653
00:42:02,445 --> 00:42:04,436
# Stuck his feather
I n her cooch #
654
00:42:04,514 --> 00:42:05,981
# like fresh baked manicotti #
655
00:42:06,049 --> 00:42:07,311
Hell, yeah. Fresh baked.
656
00:42:07,384 --> 00:42:08,646
What's your name?
657
00:42:08,718 --> 00:42:11,516
It's Hucklebilly, dumb ass.
What's my name?
658
00:42:11,588 --> 00:42:13,920
H ucklebilly, dumb ass.
659
00:42:15,725 --> 00:42:18,285
Typical I I'm out there,
sweating my ass off,
660
00:42:18,361 --> 00:42:20,295
and the two of you
are sitting here,
661
00:42:20,363 --> 00:42:24,424
getting this mentally
ill child stoned.
662
00:42:24,501 --> 00:42:26,196
Shut the fuck up, retard!
663
00:42:26,269 --> 00:42:29,500
It's Hucklebilly, Mister.
664
00:42:31,174 --> 00:42:34,541
I promise, I'll
just film It, no web.
665
00:42:34,611 --> 00:42:38,308
So anyone know whether
Jackass ever found Bristol?
666
00:42:38,381 --> 00:42:40,372
Hate to bring
It to you, Moses,
667
00:42:40,450 --> 00:42:44,284
he's probably off plowing
Bristol in some corn field by now.
668
00:42:44,354 --> 00:42:47,517
Excuse me, that's Rome's
boyfriend you're talking about.
669
00:42:47,590 --> 00:42:49,285
Yeah, man, don't be a hater.
670
00:42:49,359 --> 00:42:52,192
Suck my salty
Salvadorlan sack.
671
00:42:52,262 --> 00:42:56,221
You'd probably like that. You
little twisted reality show wannabe.
672
00:42:56,299 --> 00:42:58,267
Enough I Look, Jesus,
673
00:42:58,334 --> 00:43:02,236
unless you want to crash the unemployment
line like the rest of your family,
674
00:43:02,305 --> 00:43:05,570
I suggest you get
this tin can moving!
675
00:43:05,642 --> 00:43:08,076
As soon as we get what we
want from these rednecks
676
00:43:08,144 --> 00:43:11,045
we'll get the hell out of
this fucking two-bit shit hole!
677
00:43:12,449 --> 00:43:13,677
Come on!
678
00:43:13,750 --> 00:43:15,377
All right.
I hear you, boss.
679
00:43:15,452 --> 00:43:17,044
I can scam
one of them tires
680
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,452
off that old school bus
those freaks got
681
00:43:19,522 --> 00:43:21,456
Whatever It takes.
682
00:43:21,524 --> 00:43:25,984
I wouldn't advise
that, my friends.
683
00:43:26,062 --> 00:43:27,495
Some folks
around here
684
00:43:27,564 --> 00:43:31,898
just might be inclined to
define that as stealing.
685
00:43:31,968 --> 00:43:33,560
Stealing is
a sin.
686
00:43:33,636 --> 00:43:37,732
I wasn't gonna
steal nothing, abuellta.
687
00:43:37,807 --> 00:43:40,275
I said "borrow. "
688
00:43:58,895 --> 00:44:02,456
I guess borrowing is okay.
That ain't stealing.
689
00:44:02,532 --> 00:44:05,296
Maybe we can help
you out with the tire.
690
00:44:05,368 --> 00:44:07,302
But first-
691
00:44:10,540 --> 00:44:13,737
Yee-haw I
692
00:44:25,488 --> 00:44:28,651
I'll tell ya', Granny,
that display of majesty
693
00:44:28,725 --> 00:44:30,625
makes this Colonel
weak in the knees
694
00:44:30,693 --> 00:44:32,217
and full
in the groin.
695
00:44:32,295 --> 00:44:33,819
Ugh!
696
00:44:33,897 --> 00:44:36,991
Bucky, I ain't
begging no more.
697
00:44:37,066 --> 00:44:41,298
It's time you discharge your
musket, Confederate style.
698
00:44:41,371 --> 00:44:44,135
Madam, lead me
to my execution.
699
00:44:44,207 --> 00:44:46,675
Yee-haw I
700
00:44:46,743 --> 00:44:48,904
You'd better be getting all this.
701
00:44:48,978 --> 00:44:50,639
This is money
in the bank.
702
00:44:50,713 --> 00:44:52,908
Solid gold.
703
00:44:52,982 --> 00:44:56,679
Oh!
Buck-man. Buck-man.
704
00:44:59,055 --> 00:45:04,919
Buck-man. Buck-man.
705
00:45:04,994 --> 00:45:07,485
Candy apples.
706
00:45:07,564 --> 00:45:10,089
Buck. Buck. Buck.
707
00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:11,316
Candy apples?
708
00:45:11,367 --> 00:45:14,029
Yee-haw!
709
00:45:14,103 --> 00:45:16,264
How do you like
these candy apples?
710
00:45:16,339 --> 00:45:18,466
Them ain't real.
Theme's plastic.
711
00:45:18,541 --> 00:45:21,840
Probably got
worms in it, too.
712
00:45:21,911 --> 00:45:24,675
My mighty sword!
My mighty sword!
713
00:45:24,747 --> 00:45:27,648
My mighty sword I
714
00:45:27,717 --> 00:45:32,516
Crow! Crow! Crow!
715
00:45:32,589 --> 00:45:33,739
Crow?
716
00:45:36,292 --> 00:45:37,554
Crow?
717
00:45:37,627 --> 00:45:39,288
Buck?
718
00:45:39,362 --> 00:45:41,990
Oh,
719
00:45:42,065 --> 00:45:43,623
too much dark meat,
bitch!
720
00:45:43,700 --> 00:45:45,531
Ah!
721
00:45:47,852 --> 00:45:50,787
Now, for our
next demonstration,
722
00:45:50,855 --> 00:45:53,153
we're gonna need
another volunteer.
723
00:45:53,224 --> 00:45:55,124
Oh, oh, oh I
724
00:45:55,193 --> 00:45:56,592
Ugh.
725
00:45:56,661 --> 00:45:59,221
You boy, with the smiling
eyes, you'll do fine.
726
00:46:00,432 --> 00:46:01,582
Yes!
727
00:46:01,633 --> 00:46:03,100
M mighty fine.
728
00:46:03,168 --> 00:46:06,001
Come on up
now, boy.
729
00:46:06,071 --> 00:46:09,529
I ain't got
eternity. Come on.
730
00:46:09,607 --> 00:46:11,871
Don't mind
the darkness none.
731
00:46:11,943 --> 00:46:14,605
You ain't never heard
Helen Keller complain.
732
00:46:14,679 --> 00:46:17,443
Turn around now, boy.
Step on right up on here.
733
00:46:17,515 --> 00:46:20,143
Come one. Show everybody
your pretty face.
734
00:46:20,218 --> 00:46:22,652
Now you see him?
735
00:46:22,721 --> 00:46:23,871
Uh-
736
00:46:25,090 --> 00:46:27,320
Now you don't!
737
00:46:35,300 --> 00:46:39,669
So, should I keep
the blindfold on, or-
738
00:46:50,915 --> 00:46:52,644
Uh, hello?
739
00:46:55,820 --> 00:46:57,685
Hello?
740
00:46:57,756 --> 00:46:59,917
So weird.
741
00:46:59,991 --> 00:47:03,427
Ah, okay.
742
00:47:03,495 --> 00:47:06,362
Hello?
743
00:47:06,431 --> 00:47:09,457
Hello. Is anybody here?
744
00:47:23,548 --> 00:47:24,776
Howdie ho there, boy.
745
00:47:24,849 --> 00:47:26,510
What the fuck?
It hurts.
746
00:47:26,584 --> 00:47:30,111
What kind of man are you, you
can't handle a little arm wrestle?
747
00:47:30,188 --> 00:47:34,284
Shit, Rufus. I knew
you were different.
748
00:47:34,359 --> 00:47:36,725
I knew you
were different.
749
00:47:36,795 --> 00:47:39,161
You see right through me, don't you?
750
00:47:39,230 --> 00:47:41,460
Right through
your heart.
751
00:47:41,533 --> 00:47:43,296
My heart?
752
00:47:43,368 --> 00:47:47,031
Yeah, you know, all my life
I've kept my heart in the closet.
753
00:47:47,105 --> 00:47:51,804
Lately though, my ass keeps poking out.
754
00:47:56,214 --> 00:47:59,081
Whoa! I ain't
queer like that!
755
00:47:59,150 --> 00:48:01,778
But that don't mean you gotta stop.
756
00:48:06,257 --> 00:48:08,191
I don't know.
757
00:48:08,259 --> 00:48:11,387
Maybe you're right.
758
00:48:11,463 --> 00:48:14,694
Listen, this is the
wrong time, wrong place.
759
00:48:14,766 --> 00:48:16,631
I'm dead!
760
00:48:16,701 --> 00:48:18,726
Ain't that the truth.
761
00:48:21,739 --> 00:48:23,502
Ugh. Agh!
762
00:48:26,878 --> 00:48:28,277
Agh!
763
00:48:51,045 --> 00:48:53,843
# Revenge is sweet When
you're munching On the meat #
764
00:48:53,914 --> 00:48:56,474
# Of a Yankee
Whose doodle is so dandy #
765
00:48:56,550 --> 00:48:58,347
# We don't like to boast #
766
00:48:58,419 --> 00:49:00,011
# But we make a tasty roast #
767
00:49:00,087 --> 00:49:02,681
# With grilling
We're really pretty handy #
768
00:49:02,756 --> 00:49:07,489
# 'Cause we're cannibals
Cannibals, yes it's true #
769
00:49:09,063 --> 00:49:13,898
# And there's just no way
That you will survive #
770
00:49:13,967 --> 00:49:16,561
# We're cannibals #
771
00:49:16,637 --> 00:49:21,233
# Cannibals, yes it's true #
772
00:49:21,308 --> 00:49:25,972
# And you know we're gonna
Eat you dead or alive #
773
00:49:26,046 --> 00:49:27,240
Hit it!
774
00:49:53,207 --> 00:49:54,469
Ah!
775
00:49:58,112 --> 00:50:00,171
Ew.
776
00:50:00,247 --> 00:50:02,647
I clean up pretty
good, don't I?
777
00:50:02,716 --> 00:50:06,482
Without further undue,
I would like to introduce
778
00:50:06,553 --> 00:50:11,354
one mean ass mother fucker
butt kicking son of a bitch.
779
00:50:11,425 --> 00:50:13,290
Yeah!
780
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:16,454
Buckman!
Yeah!
781
00:50:16,530 --> 00:50:19,499
Go, go,
Buckman, go!
782
00:50:19,566 --> 00:50:21,500
Go, go,
hl, Buckman I
783
00:50:21,568 --> 00:50:25,971
Good evening, one and all! I hope
you're enjoying the show so far.
784
00:50:26,039 --> 00:50:27,973
Can I get a Yee-haw?
785
00:50:28,041 --> 00:50:30,100
Yee-haw I
786
00:50:30,177 --> 00:50:33,010
I wanna tell you, tonight
we got a show for you
787
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:37,039
you ain't never gonna forget or
my name ain't George W. Buckman.
788
00:50:37,117 --> 00:50:40,245
I know you've been worried
about where your compatriots were
789
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:43,221
well, we were too, until we
found them In the medical tent,
790
00:50:43,290 --> 00:50:45,087
playing doctor!
Right, boys?
791
00:50:47,227 --> 00:50:51,323
But seriously folks, they're all
back stage with your young M r. Falcon
792
00:50:51,398 --> 00:50:55,698
undergoing an extreme makeover
for tonight's grand finale!
793
00:50:55,769 --> 00:50:58,738
But first, It gives me
great pleasure to Introduce
794
00:50:58,806 --> 00:51:01,832
Pleasant Valley's
very own Rhett Butler,
795
00:51:01,909 --> 00:51:04,969
M r. Harper Alexander!
796
00:51:11,585 --> 00:51:15,043
Ladies and gentlemen, please
enjoy with me as we recreate
797
00:51:15,122 --> 00:51:18,319
not only one of our favorite
moments of the annals of history
798
00:51:18,392 --> 00:51:22,055
but also one of the great
spectator sports, as well.
799
00:51:22,129 --> 00:51:24,620
Any volunteers?
800
00:51:26,667 --> 00:51:30,330
You, sir. You want to
win 50, 000 dollars?
801
00:51:30,404 --> 00:51:33,703
Did you say
50, 000 dollars?
802
00:51:33,774 --> 00:51:36,436
I sure did. 50, 000
Confederate.
803
00:51:36,510 --> 00:51:39,377
Well, In that case-
804
00:51:46,086 --> 00:51:47,815
How you doing'
tonight, Abraham?
805
00:51:47,888 --> 00:51:49,287
It's Jerry.
806
00:51:49,356 --> 00:51:51,347
You sure look like
an Abraham to me.
807
00:51:51,425 --> 00:51:53,450
Why don't you
just take your seat?
808
00:51:56,997 --> 00:52:00,194
Now tonight, the role
of Miss Mary Lincoln
809
00:52:00,267 --> 00:52:02,758
will be played by Miss
Married Milk Malden,
810
00:52:02,836 --> 00:52:08,206
and good ol' honest Abe, well,
that'll be you, D. W. Griffith.
811
00:52:08,275 --> 00:52:10,971
Go ahead, please.
812
00:52:11,044 --> 00:52:15,606
You're 9 Inches away from
starring In my next movie.
813
00:52:17,751 --> 00:52:21,016
Feels more
like 3 to me.
814
00:52:24,892 --> 00:52:28,794
Now, the game Is
If I miss, you lose.
815
00:52:28,862 --> 00:52:31,353
Uh, I'm not too
sure about this.
816
00:52:31,431 --> 00:52:32,531
Ready?
817
00:52:32,532 --> 00:52:33,794
Oh, come on, time out!
818
00:52:33,867 --> 00:52:35,732
Aim.
819
00:52:37,304 --> 00:52:38,635
Hold on, time out.
820
00:52:38,705 --> 00:52:40,536
Walt, wait, wait.
821
00:52:40,607 --> 00:52:42,040
Wait. Time out!
822
00:52:42,109 --> 00:52:43,259
Time out!
823
00:52:45,479 --> 00:52:46,707
Yeah I
824
00:52:49,116 --> 00:52:50,344
Yeah!
825
00:52:50,417 --> 00:52:53,716
Yay I
826
00:53:11,104 --> 00:53:12,662
Aside from that,
Mrs. Lincoln,
827
00:53:12,739 --> 00:53:14,331
did you enjoy
the show?
828
00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,103
Fuck this shit.
829
00:53:16,176 --> 00:53:17,326
Ah I
830
00:53:22,382 --> 00:53:25,374
Now, now, now that
you're all a little groggy
831
00:53:25,452 --> 00:53:28,683
the fresh air otta
take care of that.
832
00:53:28,755 --> 00:53:31,849
We're all here and we're
gonna play a little game,
833
00:53:31,925 --> 00:53:36,157
a little game we call the
Revlsltatlon of the troubles.
834
00:53:40,934 --> 00:53:43,528
April 22, 1864,
835
00:53:43,603 --> 00:53:46,504
we were living our lives,
minding our own business,
836
00:53:46,573 --> 00:53:48,370
when the Yankee man came.
837
00:53:48,442 --> 00:53:52,401
When you came! killed us all,
destroyed our way of life.
838
00:53:52,479 --> 00:53:54,674
Hell, we weren't
ready back then,
839
00:53:54,748 --> 00:53:57,080
but this time we are.
840
00:53:57,150 --> 00:54:00,142
War's over, jefe, you fucking
lost, move the fuck on!
841
00:54:00,220 --> 00:54:03,917
Well, that's precisely
what we aim to do,
842
00:54:03,991 --> 00:54:07,085
muchacho, precisely.
843
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:10,061
You're telling me you're
with these crackers?
844
00:54:10,130 --> 00:54:12,655
I was with these
crackers when your kind
845
00:54:12,733 --> 00:54:15,224
came condemning us all
to the same fate.
846
00:54:15,302 --> 00:54:17,930
"My kind?" What the fuck's
wrong with you, brother?
847
00:54:18,005 --> 00:54:21,736
I'm not your bother.
I'm Southern bred.
848
00:54:21,808 --> 00:54:24,800
And you,
Miss Gutter Mouth,
849
00:54:24,878 --> 00:54:27,472
you'd be Northern scum.
850
00:54:27,547 --> 00:54:28,946
Now, now, Crow.
851
00:54:29,016 --> 00:54:31,450
Remember we're trying
not the use the " N" word.
852
00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:33,543
You're right
on that one.
853
00:54:35,922 --> 00:54:37,583
That's right I
854
00:54:37,657 --> 00:54:42,424
Now let's see here, from here to
the road it's a couple of miles,
855
00:54:42,496 --> 00:54:45,021
same distance we had to
flee from Pleasant Valley,
856
00:54:45,098 --> 00:54:47,726
now, there's no sport In
shooting fish In a barrel.
857
00:54:47,801 --> 00:54:50,326
so we hide some guns
and ammo along the way.
858
00:54:50,404 --> 00:54:54,431
Now, If ya'll can go out there and
find them and put up a good flight
859
00:54:54,508 --> 00:54:56,772
why, you're
free to go.
860
00:54:56,843 --> 00:54:59,311
Oh, that is bloody bullocks!
861
00:54:59,379 --> 00:55:01,006
If you don't
let us go now,
862
00:55:01,081 --> 00:55:04,881
I'll have my lawyer slaughter
you before you can say spectrum.
863
00:55:04,951 --> 00:55:07,146
I mean It,
mother fickler
864
00:55:08,688 --> 00:55:10,883
Spectrum?
865
00:55:10,957 --> 00:55:12,219
I'm not kidding I
866
00:55:12,292 --> 00:55:14,419
Neither are we, Miss.
867
00:55:14,494 --> 00:55:17,395
In case you have
any doubt, Miss Maiden.
868
00:55:17,464 --> 00:55:20,024
Hm.
869
00:55:35,749 --> 00:55:38,912
K- Jay?
870
00:55:38,985 --> 00:55:40,919
Ma-ma-ma-ma.
871
00:55:47,094 --> 00:55:48,925
Falcon
872
00:55:48,995 --> 00:55:51,225
Bastards!
873
00:55:51,298 --> 00:55:56,531
Presentation. Well,
let the games begin I
874
00:56:01,141 --> 00:56:05,441
Pum, pum, pum.
875
00:56:08,815 --> 00:56:10,510
Gimme that I
876
00:56:13,253 --> 00:56:14,550
Gimme that!
877
00:56:36,476 --> 00:56:42,437
# Building from
the ground up #
878
00:56:42,516 --> 00:56:45,451
# Starting nowhere #
879
00:56:48,054 --> 00:56:51,820
Did you see what they did to
K- Jay, Biscuit? They killed him.
880
00:56:51,892 --> 00:56:54,156
They fucking
killed Falcon, too.
881
00:56:54,227 --> 00:56:57,060
We were gonna present at the
Teen Dream Awards together.
882
00:56:57,130 --> 00:56:59,462
You were?
883
00:56:59,533 --> 00:57:02,730
# Well, they put us
I n our #
884
00:57:02,802 --> 00:57:06,067
Crying over spilled blood is
not gonna get us outta here,
885
00:57:06,139 --> 00:57:08,835
we gotta find those guns
and cap those mother fuckers.
886
00:57:08,909 --> 00:57:12,538
You're right. You and
Cherry head for the RV.
887
00:57:12,612 --> 00:57:15,911
Fix that damn tire, I'll grab
the girls and find those weapons.
888
00:57:15,982 --> 00:57:18,041
What are you gonna
do if you find them?
889
00:57:18,118 --> 00:57:21,383
I know my way around weapons. My
mother used to be a prison guard.
890
00:57:21,454 --> 00:57:23,752
That explains a lot.
891
00:57:23,823 --> 00:57:27,088
# Again #
892
00:57:30,250 --> 00:57:35,847
Oh I My bunions
are killing me
893
00:57:35,923 --> 00:57:40,053
If I was one of those psychos
where would I hide those weapons?
894
00:57:40,127 --> 00:57:43,028
Kinda like
an Easter egg hunt.
895
00:57:43,096 --> 00:57:45,223
Huh?
896
00:57:45,299 --> 00:57:48,496
Yes.
897
00:57:50,707 --> 00:57:55,371
How old is this piece of shit?
It's fucking rusted together!
898
00:57:55,445 --> 00:57:58,881
Whatever. I'm gonna smoke
and laugh about all this.
899
00:57:58,948 --> 00:58:00,609
Are you fucking
crazy, negra?
900
00:58:00,683 --> 00:58:03,584
Those rednecks think this is
the Civil War or something.
901
00:58:03,653 --> 00:58:05,746
I always knew the South
was loco, but damn I
902
00:58:05,822 --> 00:58:06,972
Shit!
903
00:58:07,023 --> 00:58:08,786
Are you okay?
904
00:58:08,858 --> 00:58:12,954
Fuck finding a tire. I say we ditch
those bitches and save ourselves.
905
00:58:13,029 --> 00:58:14,621
Let's go.
906
00:58:19,974 --> 00:58:22,169
You gotta be fucking
with me. This easy?
907
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:26,713
I guess not.
No ammo.
908
00:58:26,781 --> 00:58:28,043
You're kidding me.
909
00:58:28,116 --> 00:58:31,051
Fuck this cracker,
VaI, let's go.
910
00:58:31,119 --> 00:58:34,714
Since our lives
are seriously at stake,
911
00:58:34,789 --> 00:58:36,848
there's something
I have to ask you.
912
00:58:36,925 --> 00:58:38,119
Go ahead, babe.
913
00:58:38,193 --> 00:58:40,127
If they find us
dead here
914
00:58:40,195 --> 00:58:43,858
our bodies naked on display
for the whole world to see-
915
00:58:43,932 --> 00:58:45,559
You mean like
in your video?
916
00:58:45,633 --> 00:58:48,101
I'm being
serious, Tina.
917
00:58:48,169 --> 00:58:50,137
Fine. Spill It.
918
00:58:50,205 --> 00:58:53,265
All right. I'm just
gonna come out and say it.
919
00:58:53,341 --> 00:58:55,366
Do my thighs
look fat?
920
00:58:55,443 --> 00:58:57,536
Oh, my God I
Rome, a gun I
921
00:58:57,612 --> 00:58:59,079
You think It's real?
922
00:58:59,147 --> 00:59:01,513
Ah I Tittles
923
00:59:01,583 --> 00:59:02,811
Ugh!
924
00:59:02,884 --> 00:59:04,715
Looks real.
925
00:59:07,989 --> 00:59:10,116
Fuck, we're going'
around in circles.
926
00:59:10,191 --> 00:59:12,125
I don't get it, Jay.
927
00:59:12,193 --> 00:59:13,751
That's it.
Let's split up.
928
00:59:13,828 --> 00:59:15,386
I don't wanna
split up. M m-hm.
929
00:59:15,463 --> 00:59:16,862
Look-
930
00:59:16,931 --> 00:59:20,662
If one of us gets away
we're both saved, right?
931
00:59:20,735 --> 00:59:23,533
You know I'll
come back with help.
932
00:59:23,605 --> 00:59:24,833
I guess
you're right.
933
00:59:24,906 --> 00:59:27,101
Of course
I'm right, baby.
934
00:59:27,175 --> 00:59:29,040
You go that way,
I'll go this way,
935
00:59:29,110 --> 00:59:30,737
one of us is gonna
find the road.
936
00:59:30,812 --> 00:59:32,575
Okay, but be safe.
937
00:59:32,647 --> 00:59:34,706
You know I will.
938
00:59:34,782 --> 00:59:38,343
What about a gun?
Don't I need one, too?
939
00:59:38,419 --> 00:59:41,411
Well, at least
we found a gun.
940
00:59:41,489 --> 00:59:43,286
Should I say
thank you for that?
941
00:59:43,358 --> 00:59:45,258
It was an accident,
Val. God I
942
00:59:45,326 --> 00:59:48,557
Do you always have to rag
on us, we have feelings, too.
943
00:59:48,630 --> 00:59:52,361
Yeah, like we didn't feel bad
when the avalanche hit New Orleans.
944
00:59:52,433 --> 00:59:55,561
Okey-dokey,
now. One.
945
00:59:55,637 --> 00:59:57,628
Oh, no, you
girls despise me.
946
00:59:57,705 --> 01:00:00,105
Why can't you see me
like I see you?
947
01:00:00,174 --> 01:00:01,334
Three
948
01:00:01,409 --> 01:00:02,603
Oops.
949
01:00:02,677 --> 01:00:04,269
Agh!
950
01:00:04,345 --> 01:00:06,313
Ah I
951
01:00:06,381 --> 01:00:08,008
Oh my God!
952
01:00:08,082 --> 01:00:15,079
You stupid little fake tittied,
no talented, trust fund sluts!
953
01:00:15,156 --> 01:00:17,556
Just fuck off!
954
01:00:19,661 --> 01:00:22,255
But you stepped on Biscuit!
955
01:00:22,330 --> 01:00:24,389
Can I make
myself any clearer?
956
01:00:24,465 --> 01:00:26,126
Just go!
957
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:29,101
Just wait 'till the network
hears about this
958
01:00:29,170 --> 01:00:31,195
Yeah, we would never
fuck you anyway.
959
01:00:31,272 --> 01:00:32,406
Yeah!
960
01:00:32,407 --> 01:00:34,102
Ugh!
961
01:00:45,453 --> 01:00:47,648
Yoo-hoo.
962
01:01:13,781 --> 01:01:16,306
Uh, uh, uh.
963
01:01:16,384 --> 01:01:17,681
What the fuck?
964
01:01:17,762 --> 01:01:19,855
Looking for
the Underground Railroad?
965
01:01:22,667 --> 01:01:24,897
Hey, Granny.
966
01:01:27,839 --> 01:01:31,935
Do you think the Mayor would mind if
we kept that beaner boy to ourselves?
967
01:01:32,010 --> 01:01:35,343
I don't know, sweetie. I'd rather
kill him than fuck him any day.
968
01:01:35,413 --> 01:01:38,041
Sh, sh, sh.
969
01:01:38,116 --> 01:01:39,378
Do you
hear something?
970
01:01:39,450 --> 01:01:40,610
No.
971
01:01:40,685 --> 01:01:44,212
# Rock a-bye baby,
On the tree top #
972
01:01:44,289 --> 01:01:48,191
# When the wind blows #
973
01:01:48,259 --> 01:01:51,956
# The cradle will rock #
974
01:01:53,798 --> 01:01:58,531
# When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall #
975
01:01:58,603 --> 01:02:02,733
# And down will come baby #
976
01:02:02,807 --> 01:02:05,674
# Cradle and all I #
977
01:02:08,646 --> 01:02:13,276
I always knew
those little cunts
978
01:02:13,351 --> 01:02:16,411
would be the end of me.
979
01:02:21,793 --> 01:02:23,920
Biscuit's really
dead meat, huh?
980
01:02:23,995 --> 01:02:26,361
Yes, sweetie.
She really is.
981
01:02:26,431 --> 01:02:28,399
We're dead meat,
too, aren't we?
982
01:02:28,466 --> 01:02:31,162
No, Romy, we're gonna be okay. Trust me.
983
01:02:31,235 --> 01:02:35,262
That's what you said the time
we got crabs tag teaming K-Jay.
984
01:02:38,409 --> 01:02:40,377
Whoopsle-dalsy I
985
01:02:40,445 --> 01:02:42,072
Oh.
986
01:02:42,146 --> 01:02:44,740
I thought the Mayor
said killing Mexicans
987
01:02:44,816 --> 01:02:46,750
didn't count
towards the total.
988
01:02:46,818 --> 01:02:48,479
No, they don't deary.
989
01:02:48,553 --> 01:02:51,613
They ain't North, they
ain't South, they just ain't.
990
01:02:53,725 --> 01:02:57,161
But there's nothing wrong
with a little sport killing.
991
01:02:57,228 --> 01:03:00,095
So long as it puts
food on the table.
992
01:03:04,535 --> 01:03:07,470
It must've
been a squirrel.
993
01:03:07,538 --> 01:03:09,802
Come on along, now.
994
01:03:15,413 --> 01:03:17,381
Peekaboo.
995
01:03:17,448 --> 01:03:19,416
Ah!
996
01:03:19,473 --> 01:03:22,135
Can't you Northern folks
do nothing right?
997
01:03:24,045 --> 01:03:26,411
Tonight at dinner,
yet again,
998
01:03:26,481 --> 01:03:30,508
caught Granny picking
a little too tenderly
999
01:03:30,585 --> 01:03:33,315
on a dark part
of her brisket.
1000
01:03:33,388 --> 01:03:36,380
Got anything
to say about that, boy?
1001
01:03:36,457 --> 01:03:38,448
Ugh!
1002
01:03:38,526 --> 01:03:40,824
I ain't
nobody's boy.
1003
01:03:40,895 --> 01:03:42,760
Not even yours.
1004
01:03:43,998 --> 01:03:45,932
Maybe so, Crow.
1005
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:50,232
Would it be too hard just
to, uh, stick to your chores?
1006
01:03:50,305 --> 01:03:51,465
Ah!
1007
01:03:51,539 --> 01:03:55,771
I do stick
to my chores,
1008
01:03:55,844 --> 01:03:57,903
as much as I find
them distasteful,
1009
01:03:57,979 --> 01:04:02,006
And which one of you are too
tired from ploughing the fields,
1010
01:04:02,083 --> 01:04:03,983
or splitting
the wood,
1011
01:04:04,052 --> 01:04:06,612
you can't
deny that.
1012
01:04:06,688 --> 01:04:10,124
Tell me, Is there one amongst ya',
1013
01:04:10,191 --> 01:04:12,352
one, amongst ya'
1014
01:04:12,427 --> 01:04:15,419
willing to hit it when
there's blood on the conch?
1015
01:04:17,932 --> 01:04:19,797
Well, I know
how to plow.
1016
01:04:19,868 --> 01:04:22,462
and I know
how to split,
1017
01:04:22,537 --> 01:04:25,734
but you sure have some
very satisfied bitches
1018
01:04:25,807 --> 01:04:29,436
in your Pleasant Valley,
thank you very much.
1019
01:04:33,615 --> 01:04:35,549
Man's got a point.
1020
01:04:40,255 --> 01:04:43,747
Shoot, Daddy, I think I
made the rope too long.
1021
01:04:43,825 --> 01:04:46,157
You stupid ass
white mother fuckers
1022
01:04:46,227 --> 01:04:49,321
you just wait until Al Sharpton
gets a wind of this shit.
1023
01:04:49,397 --> 01:04:51,126
I'll own everything
in this albino circus.
1024
01:04:51,199 --> 01:04:55,499
including that fake ass, dumb
ass, stuffed mother fucking sheep?
1025
01:04:55,570 --> 01:04:58,471
Yeah? When
pigs fly.
1026
01:04:58,539 --> 01:04:59,836
And the fat
lady sings.
1027
01:04:59,908 --> 01:05:02,843
And there's a black
man in the White House.
1028
01:05:05,446 --> 01:05:08,313
Where the fuck have you
mother fuckers been at?
1029
01:05:08,383 --> 01:05:09,533
Down South!
1030
01:05:15,690 --> 01:05:17,282
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
1031
01:05:17,358 --> 01:05:19,383
Fools them every time!
1032
01:05:21,896 --> 01:05:24,160
Yee-haw!
1033
01:05:35,910 --> 01:05:38,902
Relax.
1034
01:05:38,980 --> 01:05:44,384
Everything's gonna
be just fine.
1035
01:05:44,452 --> 01:05:48,855
There's nobody here
but us ladles.
1036
01:05:51,726 --> 01:05:54,718
Please help me.
Please, help me. Please.
1037
01:05:54,796 --> 01:05:57,526
You gotta
help me, please.
1038
01:05:57,598 --> 01:06:00,499
Folks like my kin,
1039
01:06:00,568 --> 01:06:04,766
they can't fathom
the modern woman.
1040
01:06:06,007 --> 01:06:10,273
They wanna keep us
all caged up.
1041
01:06:10,345 --> 01:06:14,213
Cage our bodies,
1042
01:06:14,282 --> 01:06:18,082
our passions-
1043
01:06:29,042 --> 01:06:31,135
Oh, my God, Tina.
1044
01:06:31,211 --> 01:06:34,374
We're back
to where we started.
1045
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:43,354
Please, just
go away!
1046
01:06:49,195 --> 01:06:51,060
Ah!
1047
01:07:10,016 --> 01:07:11,881
Spread the red.
1048
01:07:25,965 --> 01:07:27,364
I'm cold.
1049
01:07:27,433 --> 01:07:30,266
Get the bus, Let's take it outta here.
1050
01:07:30,336 --> 01:07:32,861
You try to start it,
I'll stand guard.
1051
01:07:32,939 --> 01:07:34,804
Okay.
1052
01:07:34,874 --> 01:07:36,739
Jesuz!
1053
01:07:36,809 --> 01:07:39,642
It's "Jesus", bitch.
1054
01:07:39,712 --> 01:07:42,010
Agh!
1055
01:07:44,918 --> 01:07:46,909
Why Isn't It working?
1056
01:07:46,986 --> 01:07:50,149
Shut up, babe. Got some shit under here.
1057
01:07:50,223 --> 01:07:51,520
Try the key!
1058
01:07:51,591 --> 01:07:52,819
Like this?
1059
01:07:55,562 --> 01:07:56,662
Anything?
1060
01:07:56,663 --> 01:07:58,528
Nope. Nada.
1061
01:07:58,598 --> 01:08:00,657
I am I doing
this right?
1062
01:08:00,733 --> 01:08:02,792
Can't you hot
wire this thing?
1063
01:08:02,869 --> 01:08:05,633
Yo, bitch, I went to
film school, not prison.
1064
01:08:07,740 --> 01:08:09,139
Uh-oh.
1065
01:08:09,208 --> 01:08:11,005
Oh, shit.
1066
01:08:18,918 --> 01:08:21,011
Do you think
they're mad at us?
1067
01:08:27,894 --> 01:08:29,691
We offered
the entertainment,
1068
01:08:29,762 --> 01:08:34,358
sport, a chance to redeem
some sense of honor,
1069
01:08:34,434 --> 01:08:38,200
for the atrocities
committed by their ancestors.
1070
01:08:38,271 --> 01:08:41,206
And they play along
by running away.
1071
01:08:41,274 --> 01:08:43,071
Oh, you wanna play?
1072
01:08:43,142 --> 01:08:44,939
Fuck, I'll play!
1073
01:08:45,011 --> 01:08:46,410
Gentleman to gentleman?
1074
01:08:46,479 --> 01:08:48,538
Yeah, If that's
what you call yourself.
1075
01:08:48,615 --> 01:08:51,846
Bring it on!
1076
01:08:53,319 --> 01:08:55,719
Charge!
1077
01:08:57,557 --> 01:09:00,549
Go on, Tinal Go
Make It start I
1078
01:09:02,595 --> 01:09:04,085
Go
1079
01:09:04,163 --> 01:09:05,528
I can't
1080
01:09:11,270 --> 01:09:13,431
Tina, come on
1081
01:09:13,506 --> 01:09:16,168
Come on
1082
01:09:16,242 --> 01:09:17,607
Oh, start
1083
01:09:19,912 --> 01:09:21,436
Come on!
1084
01:09:23,049 --> 01:09:25,540
Do your best
Colonel Cracker.
1085
01:09:25,618 --> 01:09:28,416
Yeah.
Come on.
1086
01:09:33,026 --> 01:09:34,288
Oh, my God!
1087
01:09:41,567 --> 01:09:43,660
Get off me!
1088
01:09:45,905 --> 01:09:48,237
Just wait
1089
01:09:50,743 --> 01:09:52,438
Fuck
1090
01:09:52,512 --> 01:09:54,480
Hurry
1091
01:09:54,547 --> 01:09:58,608
I was gonna let you go, seeing your
kind don't count towards the total.
1092
01:09:58,685 --> 01:10:00,516
Brown or white,
you're a yank to me.
1093
01:10:00,586 --> 01:10:02,019
Ugh
1094
01:10:04,257 --> 01:10:05,407
Ah!
1095
01:10:05,425 --> 01:10:06,790
Go!
1096
01:10:06,859 --> 01:10:09,589
Go engine, go
Go, start
1097
01:10:09,662 --> 01:10:12,893
Agh!
1098
01:10:12,965 --> 01:10:15,456
Brown or white beats
your one-eyed freak show.
1099
01:10:15,535 --> 01:10:17,662
Ah
1100
01:10:17,737 --> 01:10:19,898
Oh, now we're playing.
1101
01:10:19,972 --> 01:10:21,337
Ah!
1102
01:10:24,010 --> 01:10:26,672
Yankee scum! Ah!
1103
01:10:28,214 --> 01:10:29,841
Go, Tina, go!
1104
01:10:29,916 --> 01:10:32,077
Go
1105
01:10:32,151 --> 01:10:35,314
Walt, Romy, It's
Jesus, he'll save us
1106
01:10:35,388 --> 01:10:36,719
Can you fix it?
1107
01:10:38,858 --> 01:10:40,553
Go ahead,
try It now.
1108
01:10:40,626 --> 01:10:43,424
Come on, come on I Start I
1109
01:10:43,496 --> 01:10:44,986
Start I Why won't you start?
1110
01:10:45,064 --> 01:10:46,622
It's turning
1111
01:10:48,201 --> 01:10:51,034
Come on, Jesus.
Get on the bus
1112
01:10:51,104 --> 01:10:52,696
Go Go
1113
01:10:52,772 --> 01:10:55,297
Puta, what the fuck
are you welting for?
1114
01:10:55,374 --> 01:10:59,003
Hey, Two-Eyes.
Suck my Dixie.
1115
01:11:00,446 --> 01:11:01,708
Agh!
1116
01:11:02,512 --> 01:11:04,377
Don't turn it off,
you stupid bitch!
1117
01:11:04,448 --> 01:11:06,609
But it just
killed Jesus!
1118
01:11:06,683 --> 01:11:09,015
Let's finish this.
1119
01:11:15,959 --> 01:11:17,221
Oh! Ah!
1120
01:11:18,962 --> 01:11:20,520
Fuck
1121
01:11:27,037 --> 01:11:29,005
Keys. Please.
1122
01:11:38,448 --> 01:11:39,745
Fuck you.
1123
01:11:47,924 --> 01:11:49,858
Turn It on
1124
01:11:49,926 --> 01:11:51,518
Come here.
1125
01:11:51,595 --> 01:11:53,028
Go!
1126
01:11:56,967 --> 01:11:59,265
Ah!
1127
01:11:59,336 --> 01:12:01,201
I'm going!
1128
01:12:04,307 --> 01:12:05,501
Tina, go!
1129
01:12:05,575 --> 01:12:07,406
Rome, I'm going!
I'm going!
1130
01:12:07,477 --> 01:12:08,910
Ugh!
1131
01:12:08,979 --> 01:12:10,776
Get us outta here!
1132
01:12:14,985 --> 01:12:17,010
Just go.
1133
01:12:24,895 --> 01:12:27,830
It's over, Romy.
It's over.
1134
01:12:59,996 --> 01:13:03,295
I can't believe I've ever decided
to make this crap show with you!
1135
01:13:12,042 --> 01:13:14,636
You're so fucking
annoying! You're so wrong!
1136
01:13:14,711 --> 01:13:16,201
Fuck you, bitch!
1137
01:13:16,279 --> 01:13:19,043
You know what? I killed
your fucking beloved Biscuit!
1138
01:13:19,115 --> 01:13:21,310
Really? Well, I'm the one
who snorted your 8-ball.
1139
01:13:21,384 --> 01:13:22,534
Fucking bitch
1140
01:13:22,552 --> 01:13:23,746
Cunt!
1141
01:13:31,895 --> 01:13:34,193
Damn Yankees.
1142
01:13:43,940 --> 01:13:45,532
Now what,
Bucky?
1143
01:13:48,812 --> 01:13:51,007
H m. Ah!
1144
01:13:53,917 --> 01:13:57,318
Rufus, is this
contraption working?
1145
01:13:57,387 --> 01:13:59,014
It's 12-4, Daddy.
1146
01:13:59,089 --> 01:14:01,819
Howdy, folks!
George W. Buckman here,
1147
01:14:01,892 --> 01:14:06,261
inviting you to come to the
Pleasant Valley Traveling Jamboree!
1148
01:14:06,329 --> 01:14:07,660
We got it all folks,
1149
01:14:07,731 --> 01:14:10,199
we got singin',
we got dancing',
1150
01:14:10,267 --> 01:14:11,962
we got games,
1151
01:14:12,035 --> 01:14:14,162
Uh, I'm not too
sure about this.
1152
01:14:14,237 --> 01:14:18,003
But most of all we got some
real nice mouthwatering Barbecue.
1153
01:14:18,074 --> 01:14:21,510
Does that mean we have to go
through this shit again next year?
1154
01:14:21,578 --> 01:14:23,705
[Buckman] Don't forget
to bring the kids,
1155
01:14:23,780 --> 01:14:27,147
especially the chubby ones,
portly always gets In for free.
1156
01:14:27,217 --> 01:14:29,617
Just look for the detour
sign off the main road.
1157
01:14:29,686 --> 01:14:34,089
We'll be welting. So come on down
and get a taste of the old South.
1158
01:14:34,157 --> 01:14:39,117
And let the old South
get a taste of you.82028
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