Original subtitles

Oh, I don't know.

Well, hurry up, or I'll join the fun group over there.

Incroyable!

Sister Laurence. Whatever's the matter?

There was no meat delivery.

To feed you this weekend, I have only this dog food.

Corned beef? Ugh.

The Reverend Mother, she is torturing me.

I cancelled the delivery because you won't be cooking

here this weekend, Sister Laurence.

Why not?

Because I'm taking you all away, on a trip.

-A trip, Reverend Mother? -Yes.

I haven't decided where yet.

But it will be a lot more fun than this, I promise you.

How exciting!

She must have had some good news.

Or drunk some very good wine.

It is rather odd, isn't it?

If the Reverend Mother wants to take us

for a weekend away from this place, we ain't gonna stop her!

Hm.

♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪

Oh! It's somethin' else, innit?

There are stunning views, hillside walks,

and, most importantly, a chapel.

Most importantly, a swimming pool.

I can't believe you know the owner, Sister.

Baz has certainly gone up in the world since I worked for him.

Thank the Lord this place was available.

We shall indeed give a prayer of thanks.

But in the meanwhile, a little explore.

-Follow me, Sisters. -What about the luggage?

Oh, it's completely safe.

We have the place entirely to ourselves.

She's being so nice.

Yes. I hope she's not ill.

I'm more worried about what she's got in that thing.

Just look around you, Sisters!

Oh, la vache!

Courgette, aubergine, butternut squash.

I knew you'd like it, Sister.

You make whatever you like tonight.

As long as it's not too spicy.

So, is there a plan for the weekend, Reverend Mother?

Just two days of good, wholesome fun.

Can we help you?

We booked this place through Baz?

So did we.

Charity, is that you?

Bridie?

I don't believe it.

So you worked with Charity in Soho?

Yeah, at Baz's Gentleman's Club, 20 years ago.

I was a bookkeeper.

-Bridie and me had so much fun. -We did.

Then she turned into Little Miss Goodie Two Shoes.

Were you a bookkeeper as well, Miss Charity?

Uh, no, darling. I was into...

-customer relations. -Ooh!

Your friend Vivian has a very lovely tan,

especially given this recent inclement weather.

It's not real! It's fake. It comes from this.

Miles invented his own fake tan.

It's better for your skin, and it never peels.

Mm. He's such a clever boy. Yeah.

Fantastic!

Baz has double-booked.

And he's leaving us to sort it out.

-Well, we're not going anywhere. -No, we can't.

It's Charity's birthday tomorrow.

Great. There goes our weekend.

Just a moment. We also have plans.

I'm sure this house is big enough for all of us.

What fun! In that case, you must all come to my party tomorrow.

We're having it on the roof.

Oh, that's, um, that's very kind of you.

Right, Sisters.

Let's go to our first activity.

On the lawn! Bring sensible shoes.

She looks pretty healthy to me, Sister.

Ah!

Now, Sisters...

everyone knows how Sister Anthony enjoys her sport.

But I thought it would be fun if we all had a go.

Ah!

Your turn, Sister!

To be honest, that is the best bit

of ratatouille I've ever had.

Well, with this garden,

I could finally make it like I do en France.

A round of applause for Sister Laurence.

Oh, merci!

Sisters!

Let us express our gratitude for today.

Dear Lord, we thank you, Almighty God, that...

We're playing charades. Come and join us.

Oh, could we, Reverend Mother?

We have wine.

To be fair, it does sound fun.

Three words. Book. Uh...

-I'll bet it's something rude. -Do give us a hint.

"Hard Times"?

No.

"Hard Times."

Is Mr. Saatvik your boyfriend?

Oh, no, darling. I'm happily married.

Saatvik's just one of my lovers.

Little tiny... Little... We mustn't make fun.

You should have seen what she got up to.

You know, before she saw the light.

I think I need to get some water.

Grooming herself.

-Charity. -Yes?

Please, don't say anything about... you know.

-Even as a joke. -Why?

Will it get you into trouble with your teacher?

"Lady Chatterley's Lover"?

Oh!

"Pride and Prejudice"?

Oh!

-Thank goodness for that. -I'll go next.

Um, I-I must say that I am impressed with your fake tan.

I expect you'll make a fortune.

-I won't, Sister. -Hey!

-Someone might, though. -One word.

Ooh, uh... dodgy?

Uh, shady? Bent?

Seriously, shut your trap, will you?!

Ooh, Bridie.

Did we give up humour as well as sex?

It's Sister Reginald.

Reverend Mother.

Can I interest you in a... Bloody Mary?

Uh, Sisters?

Um, it's time for bed.

-Oh! Oh! -No!

-Boo! -No!

We were just having a bit of fun.

Two Bloody Marys!

Two Bloody Marys now.

Ooh, morning, girls. We late for prayers?

-Yes. -Yes.

Do you think they wear clothes in the winter?

Oh! Oh, my God!

Uh...

Oh, God! Um...

Uh, she's not breathing.

I'm afraid she's dead.

Thank you for bringing in my kit, Peggy.

Don't mention it.

Your fellow, uh, guests are... interesting.

That's one word for them.

What are we looking at?

Well, no sign of physical injury,

apart from this scratch.

The deceased's husband is a Russell Gray.

He's been in Sardinia the past week.

The Italian police are locating him to give him the news.

-Mm. -What is it, Sister?

An alcoholic beverage with notes of...

horseradish.

Horseradish? Not your usual tipple.

Wait. Sister, do you think it might be poisoned?

-Quite possibly. -Right.

Gas chromatography will tell us what it is.

Peggy, I'm going to need you to head back

to the lab again for me.

Not a problem, Sister.

Any signs of anyone else in the room?

Yes, actually.

I found three different hairs on that blanket alone.

What? Three? What, what, what...

what were three of them doing in the bed together?

Well, as Sam said, they're...

well, interesting.

Hm. I wonder if this document had her name on it.

"Tan-Trésor.

Golden tan, completely safe, all year round."

Another fake tanning lotion?

How intriguing.

I'm very sorry about your friend.

Charity was more than a friend.

She was a sexual muse.

Why is she here?

Well, Sister Boniface is our scientific advisor.

But that's a clear conflict of interest.

Everyone saw the argument Charity had

with that other nun last night.

Bridie?

Sister Reg.

Well, Charity clearly had some dirt on her.

There's your motive, Inspector.

Of course we'll look into that.

And what is your occupation, Mr. Fletcher?

I'm a hedonist inventor.

Hm. And you, Miss Ashbrook?

Hairdresser.

And... pleasure seeker.

And... And you, sir?

-I'm Dr. Saatvik Bose. -A doctor?

I have a practice in London, on Windfall Lane.

My weeks are stressful.

This is how I choose to relax.

-It beats golf. -I can imagine.

So how long had Charity been part of your, um...

-group? -Six months.

I invited her to join.

She was my gift to Miles.

She was your... your gift to your boyfriend?

Yes.

Vivian already had me, you see.

But Charity was married.

Not that any of us actually ever met her husband.

She barely mentioned him.

Except to joke about how loaded he was.

We keep our weekends

together entirely separate from the rest of our lives.

That's the only way it can work.

Miss Ashbrook, might I possibly borrow that ring?

-Why? -She doesn't need to explain.

Thank you.

I'll also need to take hair samples.

-Uh, from all of you. -What?

May her soul, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

-Amen. -Amen.

Right, Sisters, meet out the front in half an hour.

Don't forget your wellies.

We won't keep you longer than necessary, Reverend Mother.

That's all right, Inspector.

We're not going anywhere till after the picnic tomorrow.

Sister Reg. May we have a word, please?

Yes.

I gather that, uh, Charity was an acquaintance of yours.

Yeah. We were close.

Then we lost contact.

Charity got upset when I became a nun.

She didn't have much time for God.

If you'll excuse us a moment.

So, I checked Sister Reg's room, as you requested.

And I found this in the wardrobe.

I'm running the gas chromatography test as we speak.

It has the same notes of horseradish.

I'm also checking the vial for prints.

Thank you, Sister.

This was found in your wardrobe, Sister.

I've never seen it before.

Anyway, how would I know where to get poison from?

I'm no gardener.

So why did you and Charity argue?

I was worried she was gonna get me in trouble.

Back when I used to do her wages, I'd sometimes...

get the numbers wrong.

-You cooked the books? -Only to help her.

Look, she was young,

and the men there were taking advantage of her,

stealing her tips.

So I'd give her extra, off the books.

I told her to put it aside for a rainy day.

And you were afraid that she would tell Reverend Mother?

Of course. What I did's illegal.

But killing people?

I've sort of renounced that.

Thank you for collecting the spectrometer, Peggy.

I didn't mind.

Oh, is, uh, St. Vincent's being re-decorated?

Not that I know of. Why?

Oh, it's just that Lord Sedgewick was showing

this man round the convent.

And the man had a tape measure.

-How interesting. -Any news, Sister?

Um, well the...

the chromatography shows the poison to be aconite.

Also known as wolfsbane.

I found a plant behind the swimming pool.

Some leaves have recently been torn off.

Right, well, that's our source, then.

In other news, the vial had no fingerprints,

and Charity's glass had none but her own.

Well, that's good news for Sister Reginald.

But it doesn't give us much to go on.

Sister Reginald did seem to know

that the poison came from a garden.

Yes, I'm putting that down to a lucky guess.

I believe our murderer saw Sister Reg argue with the victim

last night and then decided, impulsively, to frame her.

Well, so we can cross off Sister Reginald's name?

Not until we find out who actually did it, Sister.

Yes. Of course.

So Miles is... is with Vivian,

but then he's also with Charity?

Don't worry, Felix.

I'm still trying to get my head round it, too.

Bingo!

Embedded in Vivian's ring was a fragment of human hair.

The morphology and microscopic features match Charity.

So? Charity shared a lot more than her hair with us.

The root end indicates the hair

was recently pulled from the scalp.

After further examination I discovered a clump of hair

had been pulled from Charity's head.

Was that all part of your fun and games?

And the scratch on Charity's face...

Fine!

Me and Charity argued yesterday.

Why?

Because Miles admitted he'd been seeing her outside,

in the real world.

They'd broken your rules.

You must have felt betrayed.

I did, for a moment.

I pulled Charity's hair. Hard.

Then she apologised, and then we were fine again.

That's it?

Can you see why this makes you a suspect?

I had a bad moment.

But the love Miles and I share is without bounds.

I could sleep with you tonight,

and he would completely forgive me.

Or her.

Oh, Fishbums. I'm late for charcoal drawing.

So, do you think I did it?

No! Of course not. And neither does Sam.

Glad to hear it.

I can't believe they are trying to frame Sister Reginald.

Makes me want to strangle them!

I'd refrain if you possibly can, Sister Laurence.

-How was the book reading? -Oh, wonderful.

We read "Three Men in a Boat."

Reverend Mother remembered it was my favourite.

How thoughtful. And the birdwatching?

Sister Jacob's thing.

Oh, yes, of course.

The Reverend Mother is being curiously kind.

Something's not right.

Look, none of this makes sense...

why she brought us here,

why she kept us here, despite everything.

Let's just try and enjoy it.

I agree.

Get some clothes on.

Leave us alone!

Bohemians!

Yes, well, what are they like?

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Qu'est-ce se, Sister? What is it?

Gosh.

It's the same background as the piece

I found up there in Charity's bedroom.

So it's a clue?

Possibly.

Care to give me a hand piecing this thing together, Sisters?

Yes!

-Look, one there. Oh. -Oh.

What's going on here, Sisters?

A real-life jigsaw, Reverend Mother.

That could help Sister Boniface solve the case.

Oh. Well, many hands make light work.

Come on, Sisters.

-Oh, here. -Found another one.

Here! Last two pieces,

that we can see, anyway.

Oh, yes. Thank you, Sisters.

Right, Sister, let's have a look.

Oh, no, we're still missing one piece.

I'm sure we'll get the drift.

Holy Mary, Mother of God.

Ooh-la-la!

Well, Charity was always looking for creative ways to make cash.

She hated being dependent on her husband.

-I understood that. -We all did, Miles.

Come on. A male strip club?

It's almost sweet how shocked you are by this, Inspector.

No, I'm all for equality.

It's just I don't believe for a second

that she wouldn't have told you lot about it.

Or that she would have torn up her own poster.

Please, just arrest that cockney nun...

...and leave us to our grief.

This is strange-looking grief.

This is Charity's favourite song.

It's her birthday today.

And she wouldn't want us moping around.

Which is why we're going to have her party after all.

Be gone.

Thank you for coming.

It's grief time now.

Well, one of them must know why this thing was torn up.

What on earth is that?

Oh!

I believe it's what's called a jamming session.

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Michael, row the boat ashore, hallelujah ♪

Reverend Mother's indulging the highly musical Sister Harold.

Further evidence the devil has the best songs.

Spoil sport.

Yes, yes.

Sister Peter is a fine addition to St. Josephs, I promise.

Thank you, Reverend Mother.

Looking for gardening tips, Sister?

This was amongst fiction.

And there's a chapter on dangerous Plants.

Might be worth checking for prints.

Mm.

Charity's husband has been found on Sardinia.

He's been informed and is on his way to the UK.

Poor chap.

-Sister? -Hm?

Why the interest in fake tan?

It was something Miles said.

Oh, and the results are in.

Golly.

They share an identical chemical makeup.

Identical? That's unlikely, isn't it?

Miles told me someone else would be profiting from his invention.

So Tan-Trésor stole the formula from Miles?

Well, there's one way to find out.

Nobody stole my invention.

I just got off the phone to the Patent Office.

Yesterday they rejected your fake-tan application.

And?

Well, it turns out last week,

someone applied with the exact same formula.

Charity.

Must have been a punch in the gut.

-So, what did you do? -I told Vivian.

And that's when it came out that I'd been... seeing Charity.

Did you confront Charity?

I didn't want to ruin her birthday.

Oh, come on. She stole your idea.

She was making money that was rightfully yours.

Maybe even a small fortune.

A small fortune?

With all the fake tans on the market nowadays?

Come on, she was making a couple of quid at most.

Look, she did crazy things.

And that's why I was in love with her.

And I would give all of my future inventions

to have her back again.

I don't buy it.

We'll need to find out how much money

Charity's making from Tan-Trésor.

-Her accountant would know. -Hm.

Sister? What is it?

That book on plants...

it had just one set of prints on it.

I found it in my room! I didn't know what to do.

Concealing evidence is a serious matter, Sister Reginald.

I trust you're not going to lock her up

just for touching a book, Inspector.

I will spare her that for now.

But you will stay in your room, under Peggy's supervision.

And let's hope for your sake

we identify the killer, and soon.

Those libertines have done it this time.

I have complete confidence that Sister Boniface will sort it.

And now, on to the weekend

and Sister Francis' favourite activity...

embroidery!

Come, Sisters.

Get her out before the picnic.

Reverend Mother...

Free her from this incarceration!

-Sister! -Quick.

We don't have much time.

What about the guard?

Let's just say she's been taken care of.

If we hurry, we can still make the picnic.

Stand back, Sister!

Sister?

Sister.

Are you all right?

Not really.

-Ah. -Any joy, Felix?

Right, so I was able to track down Charity's accountant,

who told me exactly how much she earned from Tan-Trésor.

And?

Seven pounds and eight shillings.

-Is that all? -Darn it.

But here's the thing.

Charity herself was already worth a fortune.

-Really? -Yes. So it seems

that she saved all of her money during the Soho years,

and in 1961 she invested in a betting shop.

Since when gambling has exploded.

Exactly. She now owns a dozen betting shops.

Clever girl. Right.

We need to find out who benefits from Charity's death.

-Ah. I'll see if she has a will. -Mm.

Okay. Sister.

I'm not gonna lie, Sister.

It's not looking good for Sister Reg.

I know.

I keep thinking about that poster.

Right. So given the fragment under the couch,

somebody tore it up about here,

then took the pieces over to the window

and scattered them outside.

But the question is, why?

Quite.

-The missing piece! -Great.

Perhaps I should look at that fi... ah.

Thank goodness for that.

72 Windfall Lane.

Windfall Lane?

Isn't that where Dr Saatvik's practice is?

Oh, yes. He's in Number 70.

Until Charity showed me that poster yesterday,

I thought next door was going to be a bar.

Your patients are judges and aristocrats.

Not known for their open minds.

Hard to imagine they'd be happy to get their bunions removed

next door to a male strip club.

All right.

I asked her not to go ahead with it.

And what did she say?

She just laughed.

I could not persuade her.

So what did you do?

A male strip club would have been a huge scandal.

I was confident the government would prevent it from opening.

So apart from tearing up that poster

and swearing at her, I did nothing.

Look, you've already apprehended the person who did this.

So, please, leave us alone.

I think he's holding back.

Mind you, I think everyone's holding back.

-Ah! -So, according to Charity's solicitor,

all of her wealth goes to her husband, Russell.

-That makes sense. -Mm.

But it doesn't help us free Sister Reginald.

Come on, Felix. Let's go and ask Sister Reginald

if there's anything else she's failed to mention.

Poor Sister Reginald.

-She must be so scared. -Yeah.

Aha!

Mmm!

Do help yourself.

And don't worry.

I hear nuns are really popular in the nick.

Not even French cheese.

Philistines.

"You never peel with fake tan."

What?

Vivian's tan isn't fake. It's real.

Which means she must have been somewhere very hot recently.

Where is that cheese from, Sister?

Italy.

-The maggots give it away. -The maggots?

Mm. The Italians get flies to lay eggs on the curd.

Not even the French would go that far.

Italy.

I wonder.

Tell Sam and Felix to meet me on the roof.

As quick as you can, Sister.

Oui.

What are you doing?

I see you were in Sardinia recently.

With Charity's husband, Russell.

A client, perhaps?

Or maybe he's more than that?

What are you talking about?

Charity had considerable wealth.

She was also, well, not entirely faithful.

I surmise that Russell decided to take drastic action.

But, as sole inheritor, he knew that he'd be the main suspect,

so he approached you.

How am I doing so far?

You agreed to do the deed this weekend

while Russell was safely away in Italy.

In return, no doubt,

for a significant share of Charity's inheritance.

I know you're trying to save your friend,

but, really, this is desperate.

What's going on?

Miss Marple here reckons I poisoned Charity.

And that I'm working with Russell.

Well, we were both with Vivian

when Charity mixed her drink last night.

Exactly, so she couldn't have poisoned her.

Ooh! Oh.

Gosh.

Careful there, Sister.

I wonder.

But then why change her mind?

What's she on about now?

Oh, yes, of course.

Your initial plan was to make Charity's death

look like an accidental fall.

But then she invited 15 nuns to her party...

15 potential witnesses.

So you changed to poison.

That doesn't really make any sense either.

Yes. Don't you think we would have noticed Vivian

pushing Charity off the roof?

Bingo!

You were all in on it.

You were all going to say that you saw Charity slip

and fall over the edge.

W-Why would we all team up to murder Charity?

Your individual gripes have distracted us.

But I can see now that you planned Charity's murder

for one simple reason.

Greed. You all wanted her money.

Not just a pretty face then, Sister?

So, which of you actually poisoned her?

We all did.

-Happy birthday, sexy. -Mm.

21 again.

-Love you. -Mm. Love you, too, darling.

Manhattan, extra strong.

Just the way I like it.

To love.

-To love. -To love. -To love.

Mm. Ah.

Oh, the poor girl.

Save your tears, Sister.

Shed them for yourself.

Looks like our first plan won't be wasted after all.

How dare you!

What the...?

You let her go, or you'll have us to deal with!

Ah! Not so full of yourselves now, are you?

Everything all in hand, Sisters?

I hear bohemians are very popular behind bars.

I'm curious... which one of you put the poison

into Charity's drink?

Oh, they won't betray each other.

Their love is unbreakable.

Mm. It's a shame,

given the years off you can get for cooperation.

-It was Saatvik. -What?

No, no, no, no. We were in this together.

Well, you were the one that actually put the poison in her drink.

Well, Miles was going to push her off the roof.

-No, I wasn't! -Yes, you were!

You were the one who insisted it had to be this weekend.

-No, I didn't! -You did.

So much for their unbreakable love.

Russell has been arrested off the plane at Gatwick.

Ah, I would have loved to have seen his face.

Multiple perpetrators. Gosh.

Yes. It's like "Murder on the Orient Express."

Yes, Felix! Yes, it is! Very impressive.

Shall we go and get your friend, Sister?

Finally!

Are you sure you won't join us, Reverend Mother?

Quite sure. I'm going to go and give thanks for our weekend.

Meet me out the front in an hour,

ready for the picnic.

Reverend Mother, I meant to tell you...

I've had some, well, very exciting ideas

about this Christmas at St. Vincent's.

I would love to discuss them with you.

Um... just enjoy yourself while you're here, Sister.

Ah! You're early.

Which is ironic, given your time-keeping

the last couple of days.

Apologies again for my erratic attendance, Reverend Mother.

I appreciate how tolerant you've been with me.

Oh, I'm glad you've noticed.

Oh, that's why you didn't tell me off.

The investigation was my treat!

I had actually planned a murder-mystery game,

but seems it wasn't necessary after all.

Thank you.

Reverend Mother,

I believe that you're about to share

some very bad news with us.

About the convent.

I think that's why you brought us here,

why you insisted on staying on,

and why you've given everyone such a marvellous time.

Because...

it's all about to end.

Nothing gets past you, does it, Sister?

I wanted one last chance for us to be together,

happy, thinking only of the present.

Of course, I wasn't counting on everything else

that's happened.

I won't lie.

The prospect of sharing these tidings terrifies me.

There will be shock,

and sadness, of course.

But there will also be enormous gratitude,

for everything that you've done for us.

I won't say anything to the others.

I know you won't.

Reverend Mother.

We wanted to thank you for spoiling us this weekend.

So after our embroidery session, we made you a little gift.

Oh.

Oh, that is the loveliest thing.

But I don't feel I deserve this.

Y-You see, I have some sad news to share.

Our family, our happy family...

...is to be broken up.

You see, S-St. Vincent's will be sold to a property developer.

They will create homes on the land and...

and turn the convent into flats.

Soon we will all be dispersed across the country.

Which is why I wanted this weekend

for us all to be together one last time.

I don't want to be dispersed.

I want us to stay together.

Is there nothing we can do?

Believe me, I've examined every possibility, but...

How about we all hold hands, Sisters?

Whatever happens in the future,

wherever we all end up,

we will always, always...

be a family.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.