All language subtitles for Joe 90 S1 E1 - The Most Special Agent

(high pitched violin
and cymbals)

(electronic sounds)

- [Mack] There she is, Sam.

The Big Rat.

- [Sam] The Big Rat?

- The Brain Impulse Galvanoscope
Record And Transfer.

- With respect, Mack, I
find it hard to believe

that it has the
capability you describe.

- It has, Sam. You'll see.

Ah, Joe. Good. Now we can begin.

- Is this it, Dad?

- [Mack] This is it. You
know what to do.

Now, Sam. I have recorded
my brain patterns

on that reel of tape.

So electronically it
now stores my knowledge

and my experience.

In a moment I'm
going to transfer

that knowledge and
experience to little Joe.

- Okay, Dad. I'm ready.

- [Mack] Relax, Joe. Don't
answer me. Just relax.

Relax completely.

(machine whirring)

(computers beeping)

(energetic 60s music)

(whirring stops)

- All right. Now, what is
the storage access time

of the French C-3400 computer?

- The answer is five
nanoseconds.

- Is that the correct answer,
Mack?

- That is the correct answer.

- Mack, it's been a long
interrogation,

but I just want to ask
Joe one more question.

- Okay, Sam.

But then I think we will
call it a day.

- Right, Mack.

Now Joe, we've been talking
now for over an hour

about the C-3400 computer.

My last question: how many
transistors are used in it?

- That's easy. None.

Pulse light beams and
integrated circuits

make them unnecessary.

- Aw, Mack, it's
incredible. Just incredible.

- Well, Sam, as far as
I'm concerned

it's just a dream come true.

- How long will Joe
retain all this knowledge?

- As soon as we remove
the electrodes,

he'll be back to normal.

(calm music)

- It all seems like a dream,
Dad.

How did I do?

- You did just great, Joe.

- Well, Sam, what do I
ask Convex Computers?

Tell me, how much is this
invention worth?

(serene music)

- You know, Mack, every
time I emerge

from that laboratory of yours,

I'm surprised to find myself
in an old English cottage.

- That's the way we like it,
Sam.

A combination of the
old and the new.

- You were asking how much
this invention was worth.

Now look, do me a favor,
will you?

Before you mention this
to another living soul,

give me 12 hours.

- How do you mean, Sam?

- I've got an idea how
this could be used

to produce a greater benefit

than I'm sure you
ever visualized.

12 hours, Mack. Is it a deal?

- It's a deal.

(telephone ringing)

- What? Now?

- [Sam On Phone] Yes, right now.

- But is is that urgent, Sam?

- [Sam] Yes it is and
bring Joe along, will you?

- Sure.

- [Sam] Now look, Mack,
I wouldn't ask you,

but it's vital.

- Okay, Sam, if you think
it's important.

- [Sam] How soon can
you be here?

- Well, it'll take us a
couple of hours.

- [Sam] Okay, Mack, see you.
Bye.

- Goodbye.

(vehicle powering up)

- Uncle Sam must think
it important,

calling us out this
time of night.

- Yes. It must be something
to do with Big Rat.

Hold tight.

(energetic 60s music)

- Okay we'll go over this
once again, Professor.

One: World Intelligence will
buy, what do you call it?

- The Big Rat.

- Two: No one outside
these four walls will know

of its existence.

Three: It will play a vital role

in maintaining world peace.

- I'm confused. Will
somebody please explain to me

how this crazy scheme's
supposed to work?

- Okay, Professor.
Let me describe

what could be Joe's
first assignment.

File #90. It contains what
little information we have

on the Russian MiG 242.

This aircraft is the fastest
and most heavily armed

in the world today.

We have nothing equal to
it in the West.

We have no weapons
that can stop it.

And so the Russians have
the capability

of striking and destroying
us at any moment they choose.

Now, question. How does
your boy and the Big Rat

help to maintain world peace?

Answer. By capturing a
MiG 242 and revealing it's

secrets to the West, thus
restoring the balance of power.

Now this is how we would do it.

A Russian pilot has agreed

to hold a press
conference in London.

We'll be there.

- John Wardven,
National Express.

Have you flown a MiG
242 and if so,

can you describe it's
performance to us?

- I have flown the MiG
242 many a times.

As a matter of fact...

- This is our man, Mack.

Did you hear that?

He's flown the 242 many times.

Are you sure we're going
to get this recording?

- I hope so, Sam.

The concealed antenna
is right over his head.

- The entire program
was scheduled

and monitored by computer.

(signal beeping)

- [Russian Pilot Being
Recorded] We know

that you have no
similar aircraft

and no defensive weapons
capable of intercepting it.

- [Mack Over Headphones]
Joe, you can switch

the machine off now.

Just push the red
button marked stop.

- Okay, Dad.

- [Mack] Now, Joe, Uncle Sam

and I are coming home
immediately.

- [Joe] Okay, Dad. See
you in a couple of hours.

- [Sam] I think you know
the plan, Joe.

Mack has managed to
record the brain patterns

of a Russian MiG 242 pilot.

Now he's going to transfer all

that captured knowledge to you.

Are you ready?

- Yes, Uncle Sam. I'm ready.

- Good luck, Son. Now, you
know what to do. Just relax.

(machine whirring)

(computers beeping)

(energetic 60s music)

- Now listen, Joe. WIN
has provided you

with some specially
made equipment.

First a pair of glasses.

Built in are the electrodes
that your father normally

connects to your temples
that enable you

to use the knowledge
that's been transferred.

Without them you'll be Joe.

But when you're wearing them,

you'll have all the
knowledge and experience

of a Russian jet pilot.

Next a pistol,
specially made for you.

It's small, light and will fire
200 times without reloading.

A small portable transmitter
and receiver linked

to WIN's satellite network
will enable you

to talk to Mack or myself
from any part of the world.

Okay, Joe. You're now
WIN's most special agent.

- Uncle Sam! It's terrific!

- Joe, this may seem
a strange thing to say

to WIN's most special agent,

but we have a long
journey tomorrow,

and I think you ought
to be getting to bed.

- What, now?

- Yes, now.

- Thanks, Uncle Sam for
the glasses and the gun

and that other thing.

But if I'm a special
agent, don't I get a badge?

- Of course you get a badge,
Joe.

(energetic 60s music)

(military music)

- [Russian Military
Officer] Gentlemen.

Today is the first time

that foreign correspondents
have been allowed

to view the 242 at
close quarters.

As you know, the
details of the 242

are a closely guarded secret.

And since you ar all
experts on aviation,

with one notable exception.

Where is he?

Professor McLean,
where is your boy?

- If you will exercise
a little more patience.

- Well?

- Contrary to what you
have just stated,

my boy is an expert on aviation.

At this moment he is
probably climbing

into the cockpit and a
few moments from now,

he will fly it away.

Then he'll battle his way

through your air defense system

and take the aircraft to England

where it's secrets

will be unraveled.

(people laughing)

- Gentlemen, please. Please!

All right, Professor McLean.

Very funny. And now tell
me where is your boy?

(plane engines roar)

- Sam Lugar from Joe 90.
Airborne. Over.

- Well done, Joe. Now
the Russians are bound

to launch other aircraft and
will try to shoot you down.

Remember, Joe, you've got
the skill and the knowledge

of the finest pilot in
the Russian Air Force.

They'll be no match for you.

- Okay, Sam. I've got
the picture.

- That's right, Control.

One of the correspondents
has stolen the MiG 242.

- [Control] Message
received. Pass description

of man who stole aircraft.

(Mack laughing)

- Well, Control, it
wasn't a man.

It was a boy.

- [Control] A boy?

- Yes, a boy, aged about nine.

- [Control] A nine year old boy?

Have you been drinking?

(people laughing)

- [Commander] You are
trying to tell me

that a nine year old boy climbed

into the cockpit of the
world's most advanced aircraft

and flew it away?

- Yes, Commander.

- I will give you one
final chance.

Do you still persist in
submitting this ludicrous
report?

- But it is true, Commander.

- Dismissed.

- The man just
leaving my office,

place him under close arrest.

I will deal with him later.

- [Dismissed Guard] No!
No! You can't do this!

I've been telling the truth!

A little boy stole
that aircraft!

And he was nine years old!

- Professor McLean,
please accept

my government's apologies
for this incident.

I have arranged for you
to be escorted

to the airport in time
for you to connect

with your flight to London.

- Thank you, Commander.

You've been most courteous.

- By the way, Professor.

Where is your boy?

- Well, Commander, I should
think he's just about halfway

between Moscow and the Russian
border flying a MiG 242.

(Commander laughs)

(engines roar)

(alarm sounds)

- [Base 513] Moscow air
defense system.

Three interceptor
aircraft launched.

Have instructed pilots
to seek and destroy.

- Thank you, Base 513. This
is Moscow air defense system.

Alert all ground to air
missile stations.

- [Base 513] Yes, sir.

- Sam Lugar from Joe 90.

- Okay, Joe. Loud and clear.

- Sam, I'm approaching the
Russian border.

My instruments tell me

that I've got three MiG
242's on my tail.

They're about 200
miles behind me

so I'm going to turn
and shoot it out

with air to air missiles. Over.

- Joe? Isn't that kind
of dangerous?

(intense drumming)

- Red One and Red Two,
this is Red Leader.

Bandit has turned to intercept.

Stand by air to air missiles.

(intense drumming)

- Stand by to fire missiles.

Five seconds.

(missiles fire)

(planes explode)

(explosion)

- They can't really stop me now,
Sam.

They may try ground to
air missiles.

(explosions)

And that's just what
they're doing, Sam.

They're throwing everything
they've got at me.

I can't chance it.

I'm going in to attack the base.

- Okay, Joe. You're the expert.

(intense drumming)

(explosions)

(missiles firing)

(massive explosions)

(missiles firing)

(massive explosions)

(missiles firing)

(massive explosions)

- Okay, Sam. Missile base
completely destroyed.

This is a great aircraft.

Now look, Sam, I'm approaching
the Russian border now.

Have you obtained clearance
for me to fly across Europe?

- Sure I've obtained clearance.

From now it's a clear flight
all the way to England.

The authorities over
here want you

to land at Manston in Kent.

- Fantastic! It's a MiG
242 all right.

When I got the message
from Central Control

I just couldn't believe it.

But they're dead right.

Okay radio the armored
vehicles to close in.

We can't take any chances.

(vehicle engines start)

- [Driver] Armored vehicle
one to control tower.

There is no pilot. The
cockpit is empty.

- He can't have got very far.

Search the area and bring anyone

who saw the landing up
here for interrogation.

- [Driver] Roger. Will do.

- [Control Tower Officer] Now
let's go over this once again.

You were very close to this
aircraft when it landed.

- Yes, sir. That's right, sir.

- Now when the aircraft stopped,

you say the canopy opened,

the pilot jumped out and ran
to the airfield perimeter.

Is that right?

- Yes, sir.

- Now think very carefully.

What age did you estimate
the pilot to be?

- As I said before, sir.
As far as I could tell,

he were about nine year old.

- Nine years old, eh?

And then you say when he
reached the airfield perimeter,

he jumped into a waiting car?

- That's right, sir.
That's just what he did.

- And now I expect you'll
tell me that the car

rose into the air and flew away?

- As a matter of fact, sir,
that's exactly what did happen.

- Well, you've pulled it off,
Joe.

A MiG 242 completely intact
in the hands of the West.

Oh boy, what an achievement, eh?

- It was so exciting.

But you know something?

I'd rather fly with you.

- (laughs) That's my boy.

- And so, Professor
McLean, that was the sort

of operation that could
be handled by your boy Joe

with the assistance
of the Big Rat.

Of course we all know
there's no such aircraft

as the MiG 242 and indeed
there is no conflict

between Soviet Russia
and the West.

I simply made up that
little story

to illustrate the sort
of thing Joe could do

to help us if we had
your approval.

- [Mack] No! No! No!

- Professor McLean!

- You really expect me to...

- Dad, you've got to
let me do it!

- Keep out of this, Joe.
Go outside.

- [Sam] But, Mack!

- [Westin] Now look...

- [Mack] You look, Mr. Westin.

Although Joe is not my real son,

since Mary died that boy's
meant more to me than...

- [Westin] Yes we know all that.

No boy ever had a better father.

- [Mack] You expect me to
risk his life?

- [Sam] Just try to
see our side.

- [Mack] It's out of
the question.

- [Westin] Professor McLean,

the opportunity's here
to prevent war.

- [Mack] Well find someone else.

- [Westin] To save human life.

- [Mack] Joe's life
comes first to me.

- [Westin] Make new discoveries.

- [Sam] Just hold it will you?

Think of the potential, Mack.

- [Mack] But Joe is so young.

- You won't regret it, Mack.

- I hope not, Sam.

I hope not.

- Thanks. Joe!

- Can I do it, Dad?

Can I work with Uncle Sam?

- I suppose so if you're
sure you want to.

But don't come crying
to me if you get hurt.

- Thanks, Dad. Thanks,
Uncle Sam.

Mr. Westin, can I ask
you a question?

- Why, uh, sure, Joe.

What is it?

- When do I get my badge?

- Right now, Joe 90. Right now.

(military music)

(energetic 60s music)