Original subtitles

You might as well relax, you can't change the world.

But why can't we sent them flowers and take them out to dinner.

Or why can't we call for them in our cars

and take them for a nice little drive in the country?

And run out of gas?

Maybe, if we wanted to.

Of course, I don't suppose I'll meet the right man today.

I may not even meet him this week.

I may not even meet him this year.

But believe me, when I see him, I'll know him.

When's Harry going to wait on us?

You order for me, Julie. I'm going to borrow some magazines.

What do you want to eat?

I don't know. It's such a wonderful spring day, I'll eat anything.

Thank you.

How many have you?

Hmm? Make a pardon?

These. How many have you?

My none, fortunately.

- Fortunately? - I'm not married.

- Let me have one. - All right.

- You all right? - That's right, thank you.

Smoking a pipe now, Anabel?

Charlie, haven't you anything better to do than be fresh?

Isn't he, darling?

Can't you just imagine his father?

Oh, Anabel, really?

I can picture him just as clearly as if he were right here in the store.

Say, if you see any nice noisy chances, let me know, will you?

Julie, look.

It's that dreamy little honeymoon cottage we saw out on Sycamore Lane that Saturday.

Well, of course it is. Do you remember?

Well, so it is.

Look at that big crunchy chair in front of the fire.

Can't you just see somebody in it?

So kind of pipey and booky and everything.

Oh, Julie.

This nursery, isn't it just perfect?

Now, I could knock out that wall and put a sun deck up there.

Now, all they have to do is show you a picture of a house and you move right in.

On what we get, less withholding and all those other...

Well, you may call it'll, it take you five years to buy that hobby horse.

Oh, sure, she's testing how well you plan things.

It's what I was talking to you about.

A girl has simply got to.

It's simply the difference between...

Well, it's just the difference between G.I. Joe and General Eisenhower.

Okay, General. Here's your chopped egg.

You forgot the sliced pickles.

Hi, Mr. Gogarty. They keeping you busy these days?

Don't spill anything on those magazines.

Some foolish customer might want to buy one.

You know something, Mr. Gogarty?

I'm going to buy this one myself.

Instead of banana cream pie.

It's about time.

Oh, yes.

These are the kind I'm looking for.

I'll take a dozen of them.

Nursing bottles, and he said he wasn't.

It's a great big lie. Of course he's married.

- Who's married? - Oh nothing, how should I know?

Don't you ever think of anything but getting married, Julie?

What?

Mrs. Children's and Infant's Way.

This is Blue Chantilly Lace over a navy blue crepe slip.

This is Roger Sanford and company, Miss King, not the Folies Bergère.

Yes, Mr. Spitzer.

Well, Susan, I hope you have a nice time at your birthday party.

Thank you.

Well, hello.

Hello.

You don't remember me, do you?

The girl in the drugstore the other day, you remember better babies.

The magazines.

Yes, of course, of course.

I'll send you the dresses as soon as they come in.

- Oh, hello. - Hello.

Well, now that we seem to know each other so well, perhaps you'd like to wait on me.

Oh, sure.

I'd like to see some booties.

Booties?

Good warm ones, the tie-on kind.

Well, we have these.

Are the booties for your nephew or something?

No.

These are very nice. They have fur.

Yes, so I see.

Now, there's a kind you advertise.

I believe you call them Winky Woolies.

Yes, we do.

These are the Winky Woolies.

Ah, yes, that's more like it.

Yes, that's precisely what I want.

- I'll take fourteen pairs. - Fourteen, my goodness.

Yes, nine pink and five blue.

- Please send them to Miss Hazel... - Miss Hazel?

Willebrand.

Have them wrapped as a gift and send direct to the Fernwood Children's Home.

Children's Home? Well, how perfectly sweet.

Why, that explains everything.

It does? Well, I'm glad.

- Charging to me, if you will, Doctor... - Doctor?

Yes, Doctor Madison W. Brown, 710 North Rexford Drive.

Oh, I think that's just wonderful.

I mean, about you being a doctor and curing people.

710 North Rexford Drive.

Us meeting again like this and everything.

It's a small world, isn't it?

Isn't it, though? Especially in April.

Well, thanks for everything, but...

When you come in again, I'm always here.

Miss Anabel Sims.

And we have darling things since you like babies so much.

Well, as a matter of fact, I don't. I don't like them at all.

I think they're nausea little nuisances.

Oh, look out. Hey, you all right?

You almost made a first down.

Now, before you bring these youngsters of yours in here again...

I want to make sure there's something the matter with them...

so that I can send you a bill.

You probably will anyway.

Come along, boys. We got no sympathy here.

Well, say hello to Hank.

Tell him he's a much better father than he is a poker player.

- Bye. - Goodbye, Dr. Brown.

Well, what are you doing? You're not through yet.

- You've got another patient. - What?

She telephoned. She rushed right over.

It's 6:15.

I've been up to my knees in tiny tots all day.

The only time she can get here. She said she'd have to see you.

But I've got a dinner date with Carolyn Davis at 7 o'clock.

Well, you'll be late.

Now, you go right back to that office and behave yourself.

Oh, stop making a noise like a woman, Mary, and running my life.

Oh my, why didn't I become a night watchman...

or a flag pole sitter or somebody with regular hours instead of a baby doctor?

Stop calling yourself a baby doctor.

You're a pediatrician.

I'm the best one in town, if I do say so myself.

Now, reach into that bottom drawer marked bills...

and help yourself to a thousand dollars.

Now, look, Mary, whoever it is, try to put them off...

until tomorrow or something.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, good evening.

Good evening.

You alone?

Well, yes, of course.

This visit, I thought you and I might just have a little talk.

Well, it's...

Oh, I'm sorry it's late, but I just couldn't get here any sooner.

And I wouldn't dream of seeing anybody but you.

You wouldn't? Why? Who sent you?

Why, no one at all.

You see, you're the only doctor I know really well.

Oh.

When did all this take place?

My goodness, don't you know?

Winky Woolies.

Oh, yes.

Sanford's department store.

How could I ever forget you?

Well, thank you.

Come on in.

- Won't you sit down? - Thank you.

Huh.

Now, let's begin at the beginning, shall we?

Now, suppose we have the little patient's name.

Anabel.

A-N-A-B-E-L.

Mm-hmm.

Anabel.

Last name?

Sims.

Mm-hmm.

- Sex, female. - Well, of course.

Sad and sakes.

- Age? - Pretty young.

Just a little over 20, but...

That's close enough, thank you.

Now, tell me, exactly what have you observed?

Well, I guess you might call it insomnia.

Well, we'll see.

Have you any idea what causes this, what you guess I might call insomnia?

I don't know.

It might be emotional.

Kind of improbable.

Have you noticed any breaking out, rashes, chafing?

No, no, no. Nothing at all.

Not a mark. Any place.

That's good.

Yes, isn't it?

How about digestion?

Oh, excellent.

Practically starving right at this moment.

Cry a lot?

Once in a while.

Well, I'll tell you, Mrs. Sims, if you'd bring little Anabel...

Mrs. Sims?

Where'd you ever get such an idea as that?

And who in the world is little Anabel?

Well, I just naturally presume.

But I told you distinctly in the store, Miss Sims.

What kind of a doctor are you anyway,

going around forgetting people, presuming they're married?

But what about the baby?

Baby? What baby?

So now all of a sudden I've got a baby.

And there's nothing funny about it either.

Well, I'm afraid you've made a mistake coming here, Mrs. Sims.

You see, I'm a pediatrician.

A baby doctor.

A baby doctor?

Oh.

Oh.

Well, that's more wonderful than ever.

I just love babies.

You do?

Well, I hope you have some of your own one day.

Oh, I'm going to.

Just as soon as I'm married.

Well, I guess I wasn't looking at these when I came in.

Who's that wonderful child?

Well, that's Mrs. Willoughby's little Mary Nell.

And these are her teeth marks.

Well, I suppose I'd better be going.

I guess doctors are pretty busy in the evenings,

going to clinics and calling on patients.

Sometimes.

Oh, you mean they have a free evening once in a while?

Oh, yes. That reminds me.

Mary, Mary, tell Miss Davis not to dress for dinner.

I'll pick her up straight from the office.

Now, about that emotional insomnia of yours,

I recommend a little less romantic imagination and a little more sleep, Miss Sims.

Good evening.

And you. You.

Put back that thousand dollars.

Honey, it's me.

Well, come in.

I guess.

I just thought I'd drop by before...

Well, are you doing some homework?

You might call it that.

Dr. Brown's birthplace.

Dr. Brown's college.

Sports.

Hobbies.

Well, are you writing the story of his life?

Of course not, it's all part of the plan I told you about.

Got every detail worked out.

The general's in action.

Anabel, do you mean you're going to deliberately set out to trap him?

Well, I know it's dreadful, but this is the kind of thing that men force us to do.

Anyway, Julie, it's all for his own good.

The way he is now, he's perfectly miserable.

I don't know, he looked reasonably happy to me.

He only thinks he is.

How could he be?

A bachelor, all alone in the world.

And you should hear how he lives.

He's nothing but a creature of habit.

Look at all of these menus, for instance.

He has a different restaurant for each night of the week.

Week after week.

No home cooking.

What are the red pencil marks?

They're all the things he likes to eat, of course.

Clear turtle soup, steak with mushrooms.

What are the blue pencil marks?

Oh, they're the things he's mad for.

Lyanese potatoes.

Julie, isn't he wonderful?

Oh, sensational. Probably nobody like him in the world.

Socks, eleven and a half. Collars, sixteen.

Sleevelength, thirty-five.

Anabel, have you gone crazy?

I bet you even know what color shorts he wears.

Blue.

Favorite books.

Hobbies.

Previous love affairs and why they failed. Oh, Anabel, honestly.

Took me ten days worth of lunch hours and nights to dig up all this.

And Julie?

Here's a book he wrote all by himself.

What's wrong with mothers?

Of course, he really doesn't know anything about it.

But wasn't it adorable of him to try?

Oh, and here he is in his college glee club.

Mad brown.

He sang second tenor.

My, he was lovely even then.

Yes, wasn't he?

All right.

So you know what he eats and where he sleeps and how many hairs he has in his left eyebrow.

And what good is it going to do you?

You'll see.

For example, every Tuesday night he has his dinner all alone at Pierre's.

Tell you one thing, I'm not going to get caught napping again.

Making a dope of myself like I did that day in his office

not even knowing what kind of a doctor he was.

He sent me a bill for ten dollars.

He would.

It was probably that old nurse.

Anyway, it set the plan back for two weeks.

And you know what he thinks?

He thinks I'm after him.

I wonder what gave him an idea like that.

Might as well tell a fish, look out for the hook.

Tell you what he needs.

Competition.

He's got to think I've got somebody else interested in me.

Well, what about your boyfriend from Greenville?

Old Joe?

A caterpillar wouldn't be jealous of old Joe.

Oh, you don't happen to know any millionaires, do you?

If I did, I'd hoard him.

Hello? Oh yes, put him on.

- Oh yes, Pierre. - Pierre?

This is Mr. Rogers Sanford's private secretary speaking.

- You can't... - Shut up...

I called but you were out, so I left my home phone number.

Oh yes, mais oui, certainement.

Yes, Tuesday night at eight.

Mr. Sanford's regular table.

Champagne?

Oh yes, um, peeper, I mean...

Piper-Heidsieck, 1933.

Oh, and Pierre.

You might tell the orchestra, soft and romantic music.

Merci, merci.

Au revoir.

- Julie, I've got that $25. - What?

My goodness, I'll pay you back.

But you know how they robbed you of Pierre's champagne and everything.

And I've got that in my hairpin. Oh, my toe.

And something might go wrong that I'd have to pay for my own dinner.

Don't you think you'd better think about it before you go home?

Oh, Julie, how do you think I'd look in that bony original?

The one with the blue net and the silver star?

You mean XB247?

Well, that dress costs $289.50.

Julie, I'm not going to buy it.

You have the funniest idea sometimes.

We're just going to borrow it just for one night.

- Oh, no, no, you're a dangerous woman. - Julie, we simply must.

I've got to look absolutely fetching.

Anabel, in two minutes you've gone all the way from impersonation to grand larceny.

You can get 20 years for things like that.

Oh, Poo, 20 years just because I love somebody.

It's beautiful.

Over there, that table.

There is someone who is all alone, too.

Well, hello!

You don't remember me, do you?

The pediatrician to unmarried ladies.

Oh, doctor Brown... of course.

- How could I ever forget you? - Oh, why not?

Ordinary face and I've been wearing it for years.

Do you mind if I sit down?

Well, I suppose it'll be all right even though I'm expecting my date at any moment.

Oh, well...

I never like to intervene with romance and perhaps I better...

Oh, I see no reason why you shouldn't...

If you want to.

You can say I'm treating your emotional insomnia.

Would you like some peep?

Piper-Heidsieck 1933.

Thank you.

It happens to be my favorite year for my favorite wine.

Is it? What a coincidence.

Madam, please, love.

Oh, merci beaucoup. Oh, thank you very much.

Mademoiselle, vous parlez Français magnifique! Miss, you speak wonderful French!

Je suis enchanté que vous étiez pas trop nippiers. I'm glad you weren't too nippy.

Je laisse Pierre être aimé de tous. I let Pierre be loved by all.

Ça c'est bien charmant chez Pierre, n'est-ce pas? That's very charming about Pierre, isn't it?

- No... - No?

Oh, I mean oui.

Oh, such a lovely place. Do you dine here often?

Oh, yes, regularly.

I'm quite a creature of habit, you know.

You are?

For example, one night a week I dine here alone at Pierre's.

And just eat and think and draw funny pictures on the tablecloth.

Really? My fiancé and I.

I mean, he's almost my fiancé.

We had dinner here together every Wednesday.

Except tonight he asked me to meet him because he had such a terribly important conference.

With the governor, I think.

That's interesting.

But I have news for you.

This doesn't happen to be Wednesday.

What?

It's Tuesday.

Oh, no.

Just because I got mixed up about you being a baby doctor

doesn't mean I can't tell the day of the week when I see you.

Well, I'd like to change it if it would make me any happier.

But I'm afraid no matter what I do, it would still be Tuesday.

It can't be.

Of course it is.

You're right, Dr. Brown, and I know just exactly how it happened.

You see, I always have my class in home economics

and preparation for motherhood on Tuesday.

But this week they changed it to Monday,

which naturally made me think that today was Wednesday.

You see?

In a roundabout sort of way.

This date of yours, the governor's friend, sounds pretty important.

Who is he?

You mean, who is he?

Yes, who is he?

Well, I don't really think I ought to say.

You see, he's so well known and glamorous, and it's all so confidential.

His family, you know.

Well, I thought just between such old friends you might want to tell me anyway.

Well, I do want to, but...

Go ahead, then.

All right.

Well, first I ought to begin by telling you how the whole thing started.

You see, every girl should be married, which is something you probably already know.

Anyway, my mother and father want me to marry old Joe in Greenville.

His name is really just Joe, and he's not over 25.

But every time he calls up on the telephone,

he says, this is old Joe, and that just about describes him.

What's the matter?

I'm out of breath.

Well, anyway, no girl can marry a man she's been in love with for 15 years.

Of course not.

So you came to the city and found this important Mr...

Oh, I hope you won't be crude enough

to think that I'm just dazzled by all his wealth and social position.

How many girls are trying to take him away from me?

Why, one girl almost jumped out of a window.

I mean, into the river on account of it.

Well, I know one man around here who fits that description.

Oh, you do? Well, everybody knows of him.

But I couldn't reveal his name, not even to a very old friend.

What college did you go to, Dr. Brown?

Well, unless I'm mistaken, I went to the same college as your glamorous boyfriend.

Oh, I hardly think so.

- Roger Sanford. - Roger Sanford?

It all seems to add up, all that glamour and everything.

Besides, I happened to hear Pierre say this was his table.

Well, now that you've guessed our secret, you must promise not to tell her so.

And especially him.

You see, he's so funny about these things.

With both of us working in the same store and everything.

Ah, yeah.

But there's only one thing about all this I don't understand, Miss Sims.

Perhaps you can enlighten me.

Oh, I'd be very happy to.

Well, then, since you're so interested in the wonderful, confidential Roger Sanford,

why have you been chasing after me for the past two weeks?

You?

Really, Dr. Brown, I've heard of conceit in my time, but you absolutely take the cake.

And you'll know just how many candles go on it.

Is that so?

And just what do you mean by that remark?

Well, you found out everything else about me, and so I'm told by my barber,

my haberdasher, my laundress, and everybody up to last year's girlfriend.

I might as well tell you the whole thing.

To tell you the truth, it was all a kind of a plan.

You see, I was after you, but I wasn't after you.

Well, I was only after you because I was after him, you understand?

Oh, maybe I'll be good to about a week from now.

The trouble has been, Roger always thinks of me as kind of a

pretty and intelligent and fun to be with,

but I have an intuitive feeling he won't get marriage on the mind

until he's convinced that if he doesn't do it, somebody else will.

Actually, all I really yearn for is to be a wonderful wife and mother

and have a darling little home somewhere like Sycamore Lane.

Well, I'll be hanged.

What's the matter? Don't you believe me?

I'm afraid I didn't, but I'm certainly beginning to now.

You are?

- The glamorous Roger Sanford. - Well, of course.

What?

The young lady has already gone to the table.

You don't say so.

I thought she'd still be powdering her pretty little nose.

This way, sir.

He must have traced me, he always does.

He's so jealous.

You better go before he makes a big scene.

Oh, I don't know. You wanted a ride.

Why don't I stick around, do my stuff?

Thank you.

Hello, Sanford.

Hello, Brown.

I was just keeping your charming little friend company for a few minutes.

And to be perfectly frank, I'm sorry you showed up at all.

Well, that's quite understandable.

How are you, darling?

Miss me?

Thank you, Brown. I'll see you around sometime.

Well, I guess there's nothing left for me to do but to get back to my own table

and drown my loneliness in a good bottle of wine.

Peeper Heidsick, 1933.

Oh, Pierre, when that young lady comes out of the powder room,

tell her that a very important business matter has come up

and I'll be unable to dine with her tonight.

And please call her a cab.

Certainly, sir. I understand.

Now, Miss...

Well, whoever thought they'd see you here tonight, Mr. Sanford.

- Apparently, you did. - No, I didn't.

- And if you've got a date... - No, no, no.

You stay right where you are.

The only date I have now is with you, Miss...

Oh, what's the use? I'm Miss Sims.

Anabel Sims in children's wear.

And I wouldn't have done a thing like this to you for anything in the world, Mr. Sanford,

except I'm in the most desperate trouble in all of my life.

Now, now, Anabel, suppose you just tell Rodger all about it.

But you don't know what terrible things I've done.

I've used your name, I've lied about you, and I've even pretended there was...

a wild love affair going on between us.

Really?

How am I doing?

Just fine, I guess.

Well, then I'm flattered.

Oh, you won't be when you've heard everything.

This is even your dress.

I borrowed it just for tonight.

Model XB247.

Yes, it's charming.

You mean you're not going to put me in jail?

That all depends, my dear.

So I had an intuitive feeling that Dr. Brown wouldn't get marriage on the mind

till he's convinced that if he doesn't do it, somebody else will.

Very shrewd, little girl, very shrewd.

Naturally, the only person that could possibly make him jealous

would have to be rich and handsome and nearly the most glamorous man in town.

So, of course, you popped right into my mind.

You understand, don't you?

I think I do.

Now, let's face it, I'm not conceited,

but quite a few young ladies have had ideas about meeting me.

However, I must say that none of them has ever had

such a delightfully original approach.

No, no, no, no, no, Mr. Sandford, you've got the whole thing wrong.

I'm not after you.

Oh, come now, Anna.

No thanks, Pierre. We've changed our minds.

- We're leaving. - What?

Come along, darling.

- Are we going somewhere? - Yes.

This is much too public a place to discuss such serious matters.

But, Mr. Sandford, don't you think it would be better all around

if I knew where we were going?

Well, we'll have a drive in the country together and wind up at my place

for a little supper together and talk things over together.

Uh, what things?

Oh, things like why a smart little girl like you shouldn't have a better job.

Like, say, head of your own department with a private little office and a secretary.

How would you like that?

Just fine, I guess.

We've got it all figured out.

At $5 a week apiece, we'll have the whole dress paid for in only 17 more weeks.

Does anybody live that long in this salt mine?

Well, I personally think it was very generous of Mr. Sandford

to let us have it at wholesale.

When you consider our heart, I hit him with that fireplace shovel.

Anabel, there are a couple of things you've simply got to learn.

In the first place, never hit a man who has over $10,000.

And if you're wearing an evening dress that isn't paid for yet,

don't try to make your getaway over a picket fence.

I'll remember that.

Oh, look at the time I've got to get out of here.

Such a game, Pa.

What on earth is going on here, Miss Sims.

What are you doing now?

I'll explain later. Smile at me, please.

Now, see here, Miss Sims, I've had about enough of your nonsense.

If you're not careful...

He's right across his feet, Dr. Brown.

He must know all the terrible things you've done just over nothing

and how unfriendly you are.

Unfriendly scarcely describes my feelings about you, Miss Sims.

You're lucky you're not in jail.

Oh, I know.

I guess any other man would have fired us both at the very least.

Well, at least you had the grace to admit how foolish you were.

Mr. Sanford, will you do me a favor?

I'll never ask you another one as long as I live.

Will you kiss me and make it look real, will you?

What? Huh?

Hey, wait a minute, you don't want to sell that for two bits.

A pal of mine on this paper will give you 25 bucks for it.

Well, let's get going.

Well, I must say, Miss Sims, you're unpredictable, to say the least.

Gee whiz, Mr. Sanford, I hope you aren't too mad at me.

Well, to tell you the truth, I don't know whether I am or not.

You know, I think perhaps you and I are going

to have to get together one of these evenings.

It doesn't have to be at my house, and...

Yes, thanks... Goodbye.

Well hello, Dr. Brown!

I never expected to see you again in 20 million years.

Hello, Miss Sims. How's love these days?

Well, I don't know yet.

- You seem to be doing fine. - Oh, that.

Well, that's only because he thinks I might be interested in you.

Then your little plan is working.

Well, glad I was useful.

Oh, yes, you were.

And just imagine how interested he could become if he happened to see

you and me sort of together a little more here and there.

I'd like to accommodate you, Miss Sims, but actually I'm in another line of work.

Oh, yes, of course.

Well, what brings you to this part of town, Dr. Brown?

I was going to have lunch here at the athletic club.

I always do on Thursdays, you know.

Do you really?

Oh, have you ever tried Bixby's?

It's right down the street, very convenient.

And they have that wonderful curried shrimp that everybody raves about.

Is that so? I like shrimp very, very much.

Yes, and it's only 65 cents.

That's certainly reasonable.

Isn't it, though? And the place is so nice.

Thanks for the tip, I'll have to try it sometime.

Good day.

And Sam, you still haven't explained to me how this thing got in here.

Well, I want you to get it out and keep it out.

I can't find out how they got it, Mr. Sanford, but I'll tell you one thing.

That paper's not going to lay off a story like this.

Before they're through with you, they'll boil you in oil.

Well, I have a pretty good idea how it got in there.

Miss Sims, Mr. Sanford.

Send her in.

And there's a certain little somebody who'll get boiled in oil before I do.

Mr. Roger Sanford, I want to have a talk with you.

- Hello, Mr. McNutt. - Hello, Miss Sims.

Oh, you too.

Well, the desire is certainly mutual, I just sent for you.

How dare you put a thing like this in the newspaper.

What?

Why, you little blackmailer, you framed the whole thing yourself.

Not even my first wife ever pulled such an obvious trick.

Will you kiss me, please?

Now, you look here, Mr. Sanford.

You think every girl in town is after you

just because you've got a big desk and a million dollars.

- Oh, 20 million. - I don't care.

It's somebody else I want, I told you that.

I just made you up out of thin air,

and now you're going too far and spoiling everything.

She keeps pretending I've got a rival.

Madison Brown, you know, baby doctor.

Now, look here, Miss Sims. I've had about all of you I can take.

I'll give you exactly five minutes to clear out of this store

and believe me, you're getting off easy.

Don't worry, don't you worry.

I wouldn't work in a place like this

not even if you raised me four dollars a week, so goodbye.

Now, now, let's not be too hasty, Miss Sims.

You just sit right down here.

I think we can straighten out the whole thing.

Mr. Sanford, I put a lot of hard work into building you up

as a great democratic personality whose first consideration is his employees.

What do you think that paper's going to do to you?

You start acting like a wolf

who makes love to nice little girls and then kicks them out of the store.

Why, when they're finished with you, you won't have any store.

- Well, what do you expect me to do, marry her? - What?

Well, that might not be too bad.

Well, it certainly would be pretty bad.

After all, what's the matter with her?

Nice eyes, pretty nose, cute little figure.

Why don't you open my mouth and examine my teeth?

I'm only sorry I didn't hit you with a steam shovel.

Let me out of here.

And I'll tell you another thing, I've changed my mind.

I'm not going to quit.

Why should I be out of a job?

If I were going to fire anybody around here, Mr. Roger Sanford, it'd be you.

Quite a gal, Sam, quite a gal.

Yes, she sure is.

You know, if she keeps this up, she might get me in.

I'll tell you one thing, Julie.

It's mighty sweet of you to stand by me like this in these moments of my despair.

You're my only friend.

I'd like to have a little despair like yours.

As soon as I get cleaned up,

I'm going to take you out and buy you a whole special dinner at Bixby.

Miss Sims, thank you.

The next thing you know, they'll be wanting your autograph.

Everybody makes me sick.

If you'll just give me a minute of your time, Miss Sims,

I'd like to show you something mighty interesting.

You just let me alone.

You newspapers have done enough to me already.

You've got me all wrong, I'm not from the newspapers.

You'll just step right over here.

Isn't that a beauty, Miss Sims?

Now, how'd you like to own it?

Fine. I'd also like to own this hotel.

You just say the word and this nice new shiny red automobile is yours.

What does she have to do?

Oh, pay no attention to him, Julie. He's crazy.

I couldn't make a down payment on an egg beater.

Who said anything about money?

Now, here's the setup.

I'm from the Peerless Life Insurance Company and...

I'm not interested in life insurance.

No, but Mr. Roger Sanford is.

I've been trying to land a quarter of a million dollar policy with him for a long time.

Then why didn't you see him?

Well, I'd rather you did.

Know what I mean?

It's a mighty pretty car.

That's crazy. I'm not interested.

You're not. Of course you are.

You're being very foolish, Miss Sims.

A smart girl like you can have just about anything she wants.

You better not come in here.

No men are allowed.

Everybody seems to think that there's something between me and Mr. Sanford...

and I don't like it.

Well, Annabel, what are you so mad about?

Just because somebody wants to give you something?

Might at least take that little convertible.

Like the man said, you can have anything at all, anything you want.

Anything I want?

Julie, do you know something about being a girl?

You can just never give up.

You have to take every single little defeat and twist it around and around...

until it turns into a great big victory.

Oh, Julie, I wonder why everything looks so much more wonderful

when it's kind of yours.

You know Alice Bleeker.

Uh-huh. What about her?

The real estate fella she goes around with...

says the company wants to build about 50 of these houses out here.

A whole new development.

- They do? - Uh-huh.

And somebody gave them the idea that

somebody could have a little talk with Roger Sanford...

at the right moment, and get him to put up all the money.

Well, don't look at me, They beg me to live in it.

Anyway, I've only got it for a month.

So far.

You'd have been a lot safer settling for that shiny red automobile.

Well, you can't cook an intimate little dinner in a red automobile.

No, but if you keep this house, you might ride to jail in one.

Well, I haven't done a single thing that isn't legitimate for a girl.

Why?

If you don't use your imagination, you'll just wind up married to any old buddy.

Oh, my goodness.

Julie, the crunchy chair.

Isn't it wonderful?

Oh, I'm going to put flowers everywhere.

Renunculus.

He just loves them.

Oh, you're going to hire it and drag him out here to smell them.

Don't you worry.

He'll be out.

You'll see.

And the way I hear it is the little sales girl Roger Sanford got mixed up with,

Isn't any too happy about the whole thing.

- That so? - Yeah.

They tell me she could be talked out of it by the right fellow.

Where'd you get that, Louie?

Oh, my sister-in-law runs a beauty shop.

You hear everything there.

You know how women love to gab.

Yeah. Nobody like them.

Yes, and I hear she's not a bit pleased about it either.

It sounds almost like she's got another man she's crazy about.

You know, maybe she could be talked out of it.

Maybe she cut it then.

Next time you see her, why don't you ask her?

What do you think of that little sales girl from Sanford?

I'll bet you any she don't want a millionaire.

And I'll bet you anything she's all steamed up by another guy.

Is that's so Clint, anybody we know?

Oh, I don't know, I'm just shooting a breeze.

But I'll bet you anything I'm right.

Hey, Doc, how come a guy like you ain't married?

Now, take me, I got four kids.

And I told you I was never taking care of them for years.

What I mean is, how come you ain't married?

Now, look here, Clint. I got a rowing machine from you last month.

That's all you're going to sell me this year.

Okay, Doc.

Why, Dr. Brown, imagine seeing you here of all places.

- I didn't know you ever ate here. - Well, ordinarily I don't.

But today I thought I'd make it a special occasion.

Well, I just know that this lady will be a darling and move down a seat.

Thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You know, Dr. Brown, this is where we first met.

So it is.

Perhaps they should put a little bronze plaque out front.

Harry, I'll have my regular Friday, you know what.

You see, I'm a creature of habit like you are, and there's nothing I like so much.

Say, Anabel, what's this you're making with the Friday?

You know what. What do you want to eat?

Oh, for goodness sakes, Harry, just bring me a Coke.

Well, Doctor, there's certainly been a lot of excitement around here since I saw you last.

I suppose you heard about it.

Yes, you've become somewhat of a celebrity.

Well, I don't know why people make such a fuss,

and it's just terrible the way they take everything for granted.

You know there's nothing to it.

Of course, Mr. Sanford can't do enough for me,

but what I mean is there's nothing really set.

- Is that so? - Of course not.

You see, Mr. Sanford just grabbed me and kissed me right on the street,

right in front of everybody.

Well, I was just flabbergasted, but that's what started everybody talking.

Marriage is a very serious thing.

A girl takes a long time.

Why, she might even change her mind when she meets somebody else.

Don't you think so, Dr. Brown?

Yes.

As a matter of fact, it's quite a funny coincidence.

My barber talked about that same thing only this morning.

And then there was the girl at the cigarette counter in the medical building.

Let me see now, where else did I hear it?

Oh, yes, my masseur, Clint Hester, at the athletic club.

Believe me, Miss Sims, he was very good.

He couldn't have done a better job if you'd rehearsed him twice as much.

Here, I'll take your check.

And lastly, I should like you all to remember that each child

is as much an individual in his own right as his father and mother.

And, I might add, frequently more so.

So if you continually pamper him and cater to his every wish,

it's just as bad as if you continually dominate him.

In both instances, you rob him of his initiative and sense of power.

Of course, this is especially true when the child is ill.

For it's then that the parent is most prone to overindulgence.

However, there's an instinctive wisdom

in most mothers which transcends all the signs of doctors.

And therefore, I leave the final judgment in your capable hands.

I'm sure I am speaking for all of us when I express our gratitude

to Dr. Brown for a most informative and inspiring evening.

Mrs. Willoughby and ladies, you've all been most gracious and kind.

And it's been a great pleasure for me to be here to talk to you.

Now, since we still have a few minutes left,

perhaps some of you may have a question or two you'd like to ask me.

If they're not too complicated, I'll do my best to answer.

No questions?

Must have been better than I thought.

Dr. Brown, on behalf of the Lakeside Mother's Club,

I'd like to ask you one little question, Dr. Brown.

Uh, don't you think that the healthiest and best all-around babies

are the result of the happiest marriages?

Yes, I do, and thank you very much. Anybody else?

Wait, I'm not through yet.

And don't you think that there'd be more of these happy marriages

if some men didn't hang on to what they call their precious freedom

so long as they close their eyes to everything else?

Maybe if they'd let go,

maybe they'd find they might be in love with somebody, not even know it.

Somebody who'd make them a wonderful wife and mother.

Young lady, frankly, I don't quite know what you're talking about.

You do, too.

Well, in any case, I don't see what it has to do with the subject under discussion.

It's got everything to do with it. It's all tied up together.

Why, where would parents come from if every man made a lot of excuses and alibis

just so he could go on living in a dumpy little apartment full of moose heads and

punching bags and stuffed fish

instead of accepting his responsibilities and having a nice little home someplace?

My dear young lady, this is not a symposium of advice to the lovelorn.

You may not be aware of the fact, but this happens to be a lecture.

It is not. Not right now.

You asked a question.

Well, all right.

As far as I can analyze your difficulty, madam,

you're objecting to man's age-old privilege of selecting his own mate.

According to you, all a man should do is lie down on the floor with folded hands

and wait until some woman comes along and picks him up and decides to marry him.

That about sizes it up, doctor.

And who made that crazy rule

that a man can just see a girl he likes and right away ask her for a date.

But a girl can't ever ask a man, no matter how wonderful she thinks he is.

She can't say, where'd you get those big brown eyes at Let's Go Bowling Thursdays?

And who made that rule?

Men, that's who!

My dear young lady, there is such a thing as dignity and modesty and decorum.

Oh, poo!

If we women waited for you men to ask us voluntarily, we wouldn't have any marriages.

And there wouldn't be any babies and you wouldn't even be here.

And if you were, you'd be out of a job.

Now, this may be all quite amusing, but I can assure you

that your absurd viewpoint is not substantiated by the facts.

Is that so, Dr. Brown?

Well, I'd like all the women in this room who'll admit the fact

that they had to deliberately go out and trap their husbands

without the men even knowing would hit them, to please stand up.

This is the most blatant display of foolishness that's ever been my misfortune to witness.

Some of you ladies are examples of the modern mother.

All I can say is, heaven help the coming generation.

Don't be too upset, Doctor.

Women have found it necessary to use subterfuge and their own feminine devices for centuries.

We never thought it quite a good idea to tell you men about it.

Really?

Good night.

Who have we still got out there?

Mrs. Forbes is next.

- What happened to Mrs. Willoughby? - She cancelled.

There have been several cancellations, most of them with pretty lame excuses.

Now, what are you getting at?

Well, I'm not a mother, but I'm a woman, and my guess is,

you can't yell and scream at a bunch of mothers and expect them to be delighted.

Oh, that's nonsense.

All I did was lose my temper for a moment, just like any other human being,

and I certainly didn't yell and scream.

Well, anyway,

I don't think a doctor can afford to lose his patience without losing his... patience.

Oh, that's very bright. I've got a comic nurse.

It's that Winky Woolly Sims.

Even the few mothers who have been here today

have lectured me about the joys of wedded bliss until I'm nauseated.

Well, that thing called marriage has been going on for a long time.

Oh, now, don't you start.

Of course everybody's on her side.

Romance, all the world loves a lover and all that infantile nonsense.

I'm a villain just because I have a normal,

natural, intelligent desire to choose my own wife.

I think she's kind of cute.

Cute... I'll say she's cute.

I'm not safe anyplace. She knows all my habits.

If I go out to lunch, I run into her.

Hello, Dr. Brown.

Fancy bumping into you. House and courage trip.

Oh, my goodness.

I can't even buy a necktie, get a shave, without a sales talk on love.

The only place I'm safe is in a turkeys' bath and I'm not so sure about that.

Here, here.

Maybe we could put on beards and leave town.

Oh, like your other remark, that's not funny either.

Tell Mrs. Forbes I'll be with her in a moment.

I'm going to take care of this little situation right now.

Now, where is that thing?

Wait a minute.

She's moved.

Here's her new telephone number.

Tell me something, Mary.

How in the world did Eve ever get Adam when she had no other woman

to help her with the subtle little touches?

Okay, I'm cured, doctor.

I didn't say anything.

Be gentle, won't you?

I have a feeling that she bruises easily.

Hello, Miss Sims.

This is Dr. Brown.

Been a long time?

Oh, has it?

Anyway, there's something rather important I have to say to you, Miss Sims.

Now, I was wondering if we could have dinner together this evening.

Oh, anyway.

Piers, if it's all right with you.

Yes.

Well...

I don't think you ought to go to all that trouble.

Well, if you'd so much rather.

What's the address?

All right. Fine.

I'll be there.

Goodbye.

Julie, Julie, it worked. I told you it would.

That was him. He's coming here to dinner tonight.

And I'd have bet the $25 you owe me that you'd never even see him again.

You just don't understand men.

I knew he'd get to thinking about what I said at the lecture.

About being a bachelor and lonely and everything.

When he said he had something very important to say to me.

Probably wants to talk me out of Roger Sanford.

That won't be difficult.

My goodness, I haven't any time. I've got to take a bath.

Julie, I'm so nervous.

And I mustn't be down this field. Just as calm.

We'll do all right.

Gosh, I've got so much to do. I don't know where to begin.

Oh, Julie, help me with this.

I want to put it over there so the soft music will just sort of float in.

Do you understand?

This needs dusting.

My goodness, there's so many things I've got to buy.

Turtle soup.

Granacius.

And steak and mushrooms.

And tossed salad.

Oh, and martinis.

With a small onion, he won't drink them any other way.

Then by all means we mustn't have them any other way.

We'll have our dinner on a card table.

Right in front of a cozy fire.

Because you know, there's nothing like delicious home-cooked food

to make a man not want to be a bachelor anymore.

Home-cooked food, my eye.

It's all those little trimmings you're counting on.

Like that snug little dress of yours.

And when you serve the turtle soup,

accidentally letting your hair brush against its cheek.

Why, Julie?

Of course, I don't want to put any ideas into your hair.

Well, if you can think of any, I've missed.

Oh, my goodness, I'd better start the banana cream pie right away.

Julie, I bet you didn't even notice this, did you?

It's for passing cocktails and things.

Besides, look how beautifully you're framed.

That's a word you should never utter.

Not even to yourself.

Oh, you.

They're martinis.

But with a small onion.

Well, that's the only way I like them.

Well, I guessed right then, didn't I?

Yes, you seem to have a special talent for knowing what people like.

Well, some people.

Why don't you sit here in this nice big crunchy chair?

Thanks.

Oh, of course, we don't really need one on a night like this,

but I think there's nothing so nice and homey as a wood fire, don't you?

Well, this is all quite charming, Anabel.

You must have gone to a great deal of trouble.

Trouble?

Why, I've never been happier in my life.

Madison.

Why don't you tell me all about yourself?

Nice little intimate things that you've never told anyone else.

Well, what I really came out...

Oh, dear.

It's all right.

Hello?

One moment, please. It's for you.

Oh, thanks.

Hello?

Yes.

No, no, that won't be necessary. Thanks.

No.

Well, give him nothing but a little tea and crackers.

Or perhaps some ginger ale if he likes that.

Yes.

And let him rest.

That's all right, you're welcome.

Goodbye.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, Anabel, but that's what it's like being a doctor.

No time for anything else.

Why, I think being a doctor is the most wonderful thing in the world a man can be.

I see.

It's curious they should lend you a house like this.

I don't quite see what they hope to gain by it.

Well, neither do I.

But once you get your name in the papers,

even if it's just a bunch of big lies, people begin to do the craziest things.

Why, they even ask my opinion about politics.

Now, who knows anything about that?

Who does?

- Order? - Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's right.

I heard about a plumber who fell down into a well.

He had been missing for three days.

Got a little publicity and when they finally fished him out,

everybody wanted him to run for mayor.

Oh, I hope you like what we're going to have for dinner.

Smells wonderful.

Well, I'm not really a good cook, yet.

But here's what we're going to have.

Clear turtle soup, steak, mayonnaise with mushroom sauce,

asparagus, hollandaise, tossed salad and banana cream pie.

Oh, I forgot, mayonnaise potatoes.

Good grief, what would we have if you really could cook?

Well, my mother did teach me a few little things.

Seems to me your mother taught you a great many things.

And one of them is what I want to talk to you about, Anabel.

Oh, dear.

Hello?

One moment, please.

It's for you again.

Why don't people leave us alone?

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Willoughby.

Yes, I got your message.

Well, I'm glad we're friends again.

Give her the pink pills and crush them with a little sugar and water.

And a teaspoonful of the red medicine and a glass of lukewarm water every hour.

Then every other hour, the blue medicine.

That's right.

No, and a little orange juice.

Goodbye.

Goodness gracious, how can she remember all that?

She probably can't.

Just between us, it's all sugar water.

Why, medicine?

Well, I don't usually do such things, but Mrs. Willoughby is given to excessive worry.

So if I keep her occupied with the medicine,

she has less time to worry about poor little Mary Dell.

How very clever.

- Madison... - Huhum...

You know, I know something about you that may surprise you.

I don't think so, but what is it?

Well, no matter how much you pretend,

I think you're just as crazy about babies as I am.

Well, they do seem to have quite a future, don't they?

Oh, is it true what I read the other day that what happens to you

when you're a tiny baby can affect your entire life?

Certainly it's true.

And I'd like to bet when you were in your crib at the hospital,

you took your teething ring and tried to put it on the third finger left hand

of the defenseless baby boy in the next bassinet.

Oh, you only say that because I told you my plan to marry Roger Sanford.

Well, while we're on the subject, what about that?

Madison, that's just what comes of your being a bachelor too long.

I don't think you know anything about women.

Why, a girl with the best intentions in the world can change her mind.

If the right man comes along, whoever he may be.

Why, for all you know, I might even go back home and marry old Joe.

But Anabel, marriage isn't something you can force.

You've just got to wait for it to happen.

You certainly do.

It calls for a great deal of thought.

Oh, it certainly does.

Oh, well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go in and see about the dinner.

Just so you won't be lonely.

Thank you.

Madison, how did it happen that you never got married?

You must have had plenty of offers.

I've been too busy getting to be a doctor.

Besides, I've seen too much of children

not to know who gets hurt if the marriage doesn't work out.

You've got to be very sure.

Oh, but I am.

I mean, I certainly do agree with you.

Now, Madison, will you please light the candles?

My,

isn't everything lovely and romantic?

Almost like a stage setting.

Now, you sit here at the head of the table.

Thank you.

Huh.

With sherry.

Delicious.

Why, anybody wants to lead a lonely life all alone in a hotel room,

even in an apartment, for that matter is a mystery to me.

Don't you think so?

Well, I'll tell you what I actually do think, Anabel.

I don't quite know how I'm going to go about telling you this,

but I want to be as much on the level with you as I know how to be.

Now, you see, I don't consider myself any prize package.

That's why this is going to be so difficult, but it's just got to be done,

because there's something I want you to understand, clearly, once and for all.

Just a second.

Just hear me out, and please don't try to twist my words around to suit yourself.

I'm not in love, and I have no intention of getting married.

I think you're far too fine a person

to persist in these silly schoolgirl maneuvers of yours.

It'll only mean you'll end up embarrassed and hurt,

and I don't want that to happen.

Well, I don't know what brought this on.

You were right in what you said about me in the lecture.

I suppose I do sort of want to hang on to my freedom.

So, maybe what you should do, Anabel, is to think about going back home.

Perhaps eventually marrying old Joe.

Old Joe?

Well, thank you very much, but I don't think I need you to pick my husband for me.

Everyone in town knows I'm practically engaged to Roger Sanford.

He's just begging me to marry him.

And in a way, I don't suppose I should be having dinner with you at all.

Well, then in that case,

I guess I'm the one who made a fool of myself, and I'm sorry.

Well, you ought to be.

My goodness, I don't know what's wrong with all the men in this town.

If you so much as look at one of them or feed him a little soup,

he thinks you want to marry him.

Price package, I should say, you're not.

If you want to know what I think...

I think you ought to go home.

Oh, now please, Anabel,

there's no reason why we can't be sensible and finish dinner and be friends.

There is too.

Well, as a matter of fact, I like you very much.

And I certainly admire your ingenuity and determination.

Well, you can just keep your ingenuity and determination and all your big words.

Stage setting.

I spent all I'd left of two weeks salary fixing this dinner for you.

I'll be eating in beaneries for weeks.

And then you come here and accuse me of trying to trap you like you were a gopher.

Only you're worse than any gopher I ever saw.

Give me that.

Take that awful old hat you wear and get out of here.

Go on, go on, just get out of here.

I don't want you anymore.

I'm sorry I ever even heard of you.

Good night, Anabel.

Mrs. Willoughby?

No, he's not here.

I don't know where he is and I don't care.

I hate him.

Anyway, Mrs. Willoughby, why don't you stop worrying about that baby of yours?

You know perfectly well there's nothing to matter with him.

What?

Well, if you had any sense, you'd just get yourself another doctor.

That's all I have to say to you.

How'd I get this king here?

Move this.

No, look, she'll jump me twice.

Do you feel better now?

Julie...

I guess I'm about the most unhappy girl in the whole world.

You'll never know what it feels like until you've been jilted yourself.

What did I get out of all this?

A broken heart and a lot of expense, that's what.

Intimate dinner.

I had no idea food cost so much.

And on top of it all, I'll probably get fired.

I never will understand why you hit Mr. Spitzer with that big wooden duck.

He was only trying to be helpful.

Helpful? My eye getting mad and saying all those hateful things.

Just because I wouldn't pay any attention to the customers.

Those others, the big snobs.

They were all mighty nice to me when they thought I was Sanford.

You know what?

Well, they'd still think so if you hadn't gone on so much about how

charming and brilliant and handsome your Dr. Brown was.

Well, he was all those things.

When I loved him.

I sure would like to show him.

It would serve him right if I just suddenly married somebody just tremendous.

And I know just the one.

For goodness sake, Sanford.

All he wants to do is play around.

Oh, it's the use. I give up.

Maybe Madison was right.

Maybe I should go back home and marry old Joe.

You know, he called me today and wants to come and get me.

And I sure am thinking about it.

Well, I'd better get back to work.

You stay here and rest.

Maybe I can find a piece of beef for Spitzer's eye.

Yes, go ahead and see what you can do.

Calling Miss Sims.

You're wanted in Mr. Sanford's office.

What can he want?

What's he going to say?

Julie, I bet he found out about the house.

I bet you $1.69, I'm on my way to jail right now.

I'll bet you're not. And for gosh sakes, comb your hair.

Miss Sims is here, Mr. Sanford.

Ah, yes. Come in, Miss Sims.

Mr. Sanford, I'm really awfully sorry about everything.

Yes, I hear you had some little difficulty with our Mr. Spitzer.

It was just that I had my mind so much on my personal problems.

So I'd imagined.

You see, I was just about to apologize to a customer

when Mr. Spitzer came over and ordered me to.

You know, Mr. Sanford, there's nothing that makes a person madder

than to be told to do what you was going to do anyway.

How true.

How true.

Well, sit down, Anabel.

I'll take care of Spitzer.

Just between ourselves, I wanted to hit him with a duck

or something a few times myself.

But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.

Oh?

No, I just wanted to have a little chat with you.

I understand you've been doing quite a bit of crying lately.

Oh, that Julie, she can't keep her mouth shut about anything.

Believe me, you're just barking up the wrong tree, Anabel.

For some peculiar reason, Brown likes being a bachelor.

Well, then he can stay a bachelor forever and ever.

I don't care what he likes anyway.

That's very sensible.

Now take me on the other hand.

I'm a cinch.

I've been married three times already.

I like marriage.

My wives didn't, but I do.

So perhaps if you and I got better acquainted, who knows where it might lead.

Well, Mr. Sanford...

Roger.

Well, Roger, in spite of all I've been through with men, I don't think I should be bitter.

Especially with you.

You've been very nice about everything.

But I told you once how I felt about you and I haven't changed.

Frankly, when I thought Brown was just a mythical rival,

I wasn't quite so interested.

But now that I know he's the real thing, I'm very much interested.

Well, that's human nature for you. Mine at any rate.

You don't need to worry about Dr. Madison Brown anymore, I can tell you that.

I'll be perfectly happy if I never see him again.

Well, then, why don't you and I sort of

have dinner together and discuss our little differences?

I can't figure out how you could not be interested in me yesterday...

suddenly be interested in me today.

Maybe you'll change your mind and get over it just as quickly.

Perhaps that's why you had so many wives.

Anabel, you're really wonderful.

There's nobody I've ever known who's been so thoroughly honest with me.

Well, naturally, a girl likes to hear nice things,

but I think this is a bad time for me to be thinking of men.

Well, there can't be any harm in our having a cozy little dinner together, say, tonight?

Well, I don't know.

You may discover some surprising sides to my nature.

As a matter of fact, I'm far more interested

in the home and family than the gossip gives me credit for.

Well, if you like, we could have dinner at my house.

Or I guess it's your house.

Well, anyway, the house I'm probably going to get kicked out of any minute now.

Well, let's not tell the real estate people the truth till after we've had our dessert.

Oh, all right.

Well, say, eight o'clock?

Yes, why don't we say eight o'clock?

All right then.

What went on up there? You're certainly gay all of a sudden.

Julie, I guess the older you get, the less you know about men.

You should have heard the things Mr. Sanford said.

He practically proposed to me,

and we're having dinner together tonight at my house.

I mean our house, and he knows how I got it and he doesn't even care.

Well, it looks like I'll soon be working for you.

How about a $50 raise, Mr. Sanford?

Sure.

I guess Dr. Brown can just keep his old moose head and his stuffed fish.

That's what I've been telling you for weeks.

You'll look a lot prettier

wearing an emerald necklace than you ever would with a stethoscope.

Only you know what Mr. Sanford's like.

Do you remember before when he promised

to make me head of a department or what happened?

I got chased all over a three-story house.

Oh, don't be silly.

You can always put a fireplace shovel in every room.

Julie, are you having lunch with anybody?

No, why?

Well, you go and change and I'll treat you.

I want to talk to you about something very, very special.

And it's all your fault.

You threw her right into Roger Sanford's arms.

If anything happens to her, there'll be nobody to blame but you.

I don't quite see that.

She's a girl on the rebound and they get into trouble very easily.

A little smooth talk from him and she's sunk.

Well, she's not four years old, Morty.

I don't see how I can set me a point myself her guardian.

Look, they're having dinner alone and you know Roger Sanford.

I said to her, Anabel, you know he just likes to play around.

And what do you think she said?

She said, so what if he does, who cares?

Oh, don't you see, Dr. Brown, it's her hurt pride.

I think she's in danger.

Well, I gave her what I thought was good advice.

I didn't tell her to get mixed up with Sanford.

I told her to go back home and marry old Joe.

Maybe she will and maybe she won't.

It's tonight I'm worried about.

Let me ask you a question, Miss Hart, and I want a straight answer.

Did she put you up to coming here?

Well, I hope you're not that suspicious of the babies that you take care of.

Well, Anabel's extremely creative, to say the least.

Listen, doctor, I'm the one who was against you from the start.

I was all for Sanford.

If I change, there must be a good reason.

I don't see what I can do about it.

Don't forget I told you.

They're having dinner at eight o'clock and who knows what by nine.

Sorry, I have an engagement tonight.

Well, you think about it.

- Good evening, Dr. Brown. - Good evening, Miss Hart.

Oh, Miss Hart, by the way, tell her that's no moose head.

Darling!

What the devil are you doing here?

- Where is she? - None of your blasted business!

I'd like to know what you're doing here.

I might ask the same of you.

I happen to have a date for dinner.

Not that there's any concern of yours.

- What did you say? - Not that it's any concern of yours.

It happens to be very much my concern.

I know what your dates for dinner are like.

A gentleman usually knows when he's not wanted.

And it seems to me this has been made quite clear to you.

There's something I'd like to make quite clear to you.

I have no romantic interest in Anabel Sims.

I don't care who she goes around with, just as long as it isn't you.

My dear Brown, I resent your setting yourself up as the moral arbiter of this town.

You know me better than that.

On the other hand, I know you pretty well, too.

I haven't heard you say a word about your intentions.

My intentions are my own business.

Does Anabel know how many times you've been married?

Of course, We have no secrets from each other.

Annie and I...

So perhaps if you wouldn't mind...

I'm not moving a corpuscle until Anabel gets here.

Well, in the interim, I suppose we might as well make ourselves at home.

They're martinis... with a small onion.

I know, I know. I've been here before.

Well, then, take a good look around, because it isn't likely you'll ever be here again.

And personally, Brown, I think you're more interested in Anabel than you care to admit.

Well, I've got surprising news for you.

I'm thinking of making Anabel Mrs. Rogers Sanford.

Oh, that would be just ducky.

And what would she do for diversion?

Shuffle your marriage licenses?

That's rude, I don't like rudeness.

Unless you get out of here at once, I may be forced to throw you out.

As a physician, I naturally dislike violence.

However, since you're foolish enough to insist...

Darling!

I'm afraid, sir, you've made a mistake.

I presume from your impetuous action that Anabel isn't here.

Joe! Old Joe!

It couldn't be anybody else.

I'm delighted to see you, Joe.

Dr. Madison Brown!

I'd know you anywhere.

And you, sir, from Anabel's description.

I know you're Mr. Rogers Sanford, the one with all that money.

Would you mind telling me who you are and what everybody means barging in on my dinner date?

Oh, so she didn't tell you about me coming here, huh?

That's just like her.

Just like little old Anabel.

Oh, mighty pretty, mighty...

Say, somebody having a party?

That was the original intention.

You couldn't have come at a better time, Joe.

It's providence, that's what it is.

I don't know whether it's providence or not.

I'm more inclined to think it's Anabel that telephoned me the good news.

Good news? What good news?

Oh, I keep forgetting she didn't tell you.

Say, it's mighty nice of you, too, being so doggone friendly...

seeing the purpose of my visits to take Anabel away from both of you.

Imagine.

Little old Joe beating your time.

Oh, I swear.

Then she did take my advice.

Well, well, well, congratulations, Joe.

Would somebody mind...

- This is old Joe. - From Greenville.

- So? - So?

Annie has been holding out on you.

Didn't tell you about old Joe, eh?

The wedding's Sunday.

I just wish you two could see the gleam in her folks' eyes...

and my folks' eyes when they first heard the good news.

Well, Sanford, guess we're both out of the running.

Looks to me as if the best man won.

If Anabel would just get here...

perhaps I'd have some idea what all this nonsense is about.

It's very simple, sir.

Anabel and me have been sort of sweethearts...

ever since we were so high.

Through the years, I just kept hoping.

I never thought it'd really come to pass.

But when she telephoned me...

I tell you, Mr. Sanford, my heart nearly burst.

- Honey! - Oh, darling, how are you?

Oh, baby, baby, you sure made little old Joe...

the happiest man in the world.

Everything's set.

We're going to have the biggest wedding party...

little old Greenville's ever seen.

I was just telling each gentleman...

I wish you could have seen the gleam in your folks' eyes...

and my folks' eyes when I told them the news.

Oh, Roger, I'm sorry about our dinner and everything.

You've always been wonderful to me.

Never pushed me around like some people I can mention.

But you had so many wives...

that I'm sure you can find another one.

I must say, this is the most astonishing dinner party I ever attended.

But anyway, I wish you luck.

Thank you, Roger.

I knew you'd be fine about it.

And you too, old Joe.

Good luck and goodbye.

I guess the best man did win.

Well, uh...

Why, Dr. Brown?

I just can't imagine what you're doing here.

Seems to me we've said about everything there is to say to each other.

Yes, Anabel, I suppose we have it that.

It was just that I didn't want the wrong thing to happen to you.

Joe, she's an amazing girl.

And you're a pretty lucky guy.

Thank you.

Oh, Doctor...

I guess you're just about as fine a man as Anabel had told me you were.

And she sure talked plenty about you.

Well, goodbye, Anabel.

Goodbye, Madison.

I'll be with you in a minute, Joe.

I've got to finish packing.

Anabel, Joe...

I'd like to talk to you for a moment, then I'll go.

Well, our train leaves in 25 minutes.

It'll only take a moment.

Joe...

I came here tonight because I didn't want Anabel to make a foolish mistake.

I don't want her to make one now.

I don't quite understand what you're getting at, Doctor.

Well, I believe I was the one who talked you into going back home to you.

But I'm not so sure now that it would work out.

I think I should be allowed to worry about that.

But I don't imagine Anabel has told you everything, Joe.

Just what do you mean by that?

Oh, I know what he's hinting at.

Why doesn't he come out with it?

He's trying to tell you that I chased all over town after him.

Just because he's so wonderful, I couldn't resist him.

Well, now this kind of puts another light on the situation.

I'll tell you something, Anabel.

There's something going on here I don't quite understand.

Oh, for goodness sakes, Joe.

I was in love with him, and what about it?

I'm not anymore.

Well, come on, our train leaves in 25 minutes.

Just a minute, Anabel.

I waited 15 years for you.

Guess I can spare another few minutes.

Anabel, I've come to a very embarrassing conclusion.

I think there should be one less bachelor in the world.

What I'm trying to say is, I want you to stay.

Well, I don't know.

Joe?

The only thing I ever really want in this world...

is for you to be happy.

What do you say?

Well, I'll leave the whole thing up to Joe.

He always knows what's best.

You tell me, Joe, what should I do?

Deep down, Anabel, I...

Guess I always knew that it never really would work out.

He's the man for you, honey.

- Good-bye. - Good-bye, Joe.

Take good care of her, Doctor.

She's a mighty fine girl.

A mighty fine?

Harry!

Over here, Harry.

- How did it work out, Harry? - Great!

- Best performance I ever gave! - I bet it was.

You know, I can use this character on my radio program.

Give him a guitar, call him Old Tom or something.

Why not?

- Could I drop you off someplace? - No, thank you.

Good night.

Well, Harry, maybe you could drive me to Bixby's.

You know, they have that wonderful curry and shrimp there...

that everybody just raves about for only 65 cents.

And when I first saw you...

I knew that all I wanted was to cook little intimate dinners...

for you the rest of my life.

Madison, when did you really know?

I guess tonight...

when I realized you were going away with old Joe...

and that I'd never see you again.

Madison, there's something I want to tell you about old Joe.

Oh, what about him?

Well, he's...

- He's a... - Yes?

He's so fine and sweet and kind.

I wonder what's going to become of him.

I wouldn't worry too much about him.

These things have a way of working out.

As the years go on, he'll probably find another girl.

I suppose so.

Or another part to play as good as old Joe.

Oh, Madison.

Anabel, with all your thoroughness...

there was one habit of mine you didn't discover.

I like to listen to Hillbilly radio programs.

And no one could ever forget...

Harry Proctor's mighty fine country roll.

- Oh, Madison. - My darling.

I think you're the most wonderful man in the whole world.

Oh, I don't know.

But to paraphrase the words of a very great man...

never before in the field of human conflict...

has one girl done so much for so little.

Are you leaning on the doorbell?

From indoors?

Good evening, Miss Sims.

I thought, just in case.

I trust I'm not late.

I came to discuss the wedding plans.

Now, if you're planning on a large wedding...

you may have to use a church.

For all the beautiful flowers...

and the children's friends...

we're going to have to wait.