All language subtitles for The Middle - 1x02 - The Cheerleader.720p HDTV.CTU.en

Season 1, Episode 2
"The Cheerleader"

Out here in the middle,

people are straight shooters.

They just say it like it is.

Well, I got one of those types
in my house as well.

Hell, yeah, you were a mistake.

I mean, we're happy
that you're here now,

but you were definitely a mistake.

It's funny,
'cause you're not fat,

but that skirt
sure makes you look fat.

Who told you Scrappy
went to a farm?

He's not on a farm.
He's dead.

Oh, hey, dad,

I'm trying out
for swim team.

Do you want to come
watch me swim laps at the pool?

- Sounds boring.
- Mike.

- It does.
- Mike.

You saying my name over and over
doesn't make it sound less boring.

But sometimes
the family needs more than honesty.

It needs a cheerleader,
and that's me.

You know, Sue, I think what your dad
is saying is it sounds like a lot of fun.

The dryer's making that noise again.

Noise again.

What noise?
Your dad fixed it.

It's working great now.

Damn thing's on its last legs.

I can't hear the TV.

No, we can't afford
a new dryer right now. It's fine.

Did anybody get the mail?

Get more pop.

Axl, come on.
Let's go.

Axl had told us
he was at church group

when he was actually sticking his tongue
down some girl's throat at the mall.

So he'd earned himself one of
Mike's famous punishments--

for the next two weeks,

he had to stay within 5 feet
of a parent at all times.

Oh, my god, Mike.
It's 2009.

What? Already?

Yeah, Mike. 2009.

How did this happen?

No payments till 2009.

No payments till 2009.

No payments till 2009.

The economy's gonna be great by then.

Great. Now with interest,

we owe $650 on a VCR we sold the
garage sale last year for 2 bucks.

You know what?

It'll be fine.

It's fine.

It'll be fine. We're fine.

These things have a way of
working themselves out.

As long as the dryer hangs on
and I sell a car this month,

we're gonna be fine.

Fortunately, out here, you always
have neighbors you can count on...

Hi. Would it be okay
if I just threw in a quick dry?

Hi. Hate to bother.
Just one more quick load?

And when that fails...

Hello? Hello? I'm hurt,
and my mom and dad aren't home.

I'll just do this quick load
while you try to find them.

You won't even know I'm here.

So the busted dryer piled on
to the whole 2009 thing

meant we were gonna have
to cut corners fast.

First up, a trip to the Frugal Hoosier,

Indiana's number one
expired food store.

So are we, like, poor now?

No, we're not poor.
We're just thrifty.

We're trying something new
called living within our means.

You mean we've been living
outside our means?

Oh, god.

You should be thanking me.

Listen, smart consumers--
they're the kids who are popular.

Brick, shake some of those unmarked cans

and see if you can find peas. Okay?

We're listening for peas, people.

Hi, Bob.

Frankie, hi.
It's me, Bob.

Listen, Ehlert is throwing
a major hissy.

He's calling everybody in
for some emergency meeting at 1:00.

1:00? Are you kidding me?
I was barely making it at 3:00.

Unh-unh. No fish.

You've gotta get in here.
I don't know what it's about,

and I'm-- I'm freaking out here.

Okay, I'll call Mike at the quarry and
figure something out with the kids.

I'll be there as soon as I can.
Just breathe.

Okay, kids, new plan.
Gotta get to work early.

But what about the pool?

You promised you'd watch me
practice for swim tryouts.

And you said you would take me
to the library.

"The Wheel of Nuldoid"-- I have to
check it out before anybody else gets it.

You promised.
Promised.

Okay, I know I didn't promise
that many things. I'm not that nice.

Listen, we'll ing by the library,

and then when your father
gets home from work,

he'll take you to the pool.

But if you kids ever want to eat name
brand food again, I have to get to work.

Come on. Let's move it.

I love this book. I love this book.
I love this book.

I hate my life. I hate my life. I ha--

You got 5 feet, mister.
Use all of it.

Uh-oh. You have a fine.

Oh, that's no problem. How much?
We're in kind of a hurry.

$189.

You're kidding.

I'm sorry, but there is no way
that we can pay at fine right now.

I mean, our dryer just broke,

and I haven't sold a car,
and it's 2009.

Right.
Next in line.

Mom, don't they know who you are?

Flash her your Frugal Hoosier card.

Listen, my son
is a very odd kid.

Books are everything to him.

He has no friends.

I'm sorry, but until you pay the fine,
you're banned.

Oh... and your library card
has been flagged.

Have a nice day.

You know what?

This is a good thing.

Your teacher says you need
more social interaction.

And besides, you're not
watching enough TV.

You don't want to be the only kid
who doesn't know who won "The Bachelor".

Yep, there I was
still cheerleading,

from a hole getting so deep
I could barely see the sky.

Hey, did you cover for me?

I told them that you had
a pregnancy scare on the way in

and also that you burst an aneurysm.

You should know that
I do not think he bought it.

Curler.

But trailing even the most pathetic
of you is our newest employee,

Frances Heck.

Her sales record is minus one.

Negative uno vehiculo--

that's mexican for "not good".

Well, you know, there is recession on.

Enough of your communist whining.

It's always somebody else's fault--

the economy, your mama
didn't breast-feed you,

the government won't let you
marry a houseplant.

Now I want to hear some suggestions
to perk up business.

And don't anybody say free mugs.

Well, I'll throw
your stragglers a bone.

How about a free AK-47
with every sale?

People love guns.

You really want to arm
our customers?

Anybody else.

Oh! Here's a thought--

I was just in the Frugal Hoosier,

and they have these Ronald Reagan
inaugural jelly beans-- 50 cents a bag.

How about we fill a car with them and
let people guess how many for a prize?

I don't know.
Thought it'd be fun.

Hmm. Clever...

patriotic...

cheap.

You know, I was gonna fire you
right after the meeting,

but I think I'll just
move that post-it to next week.

Hear that, Pete? Not fired
for another week. Yeah, baby.

So while I was busy hanging on
to my job by my fingernails...

Yeah, so good.

Cannonball!

At least I knew my family was having fun
at the Orson Aquatorium.

Axl, you getting in?

Pool's queer.

Mm. Brick, how about you?
You getting in?

swimming's no fun without a book.

Then what the hell
am I doing here?

Come on, Brick. Look at those boys.
They're having fun.

Mom says I'm supposed to interact.

So can I tell you the plot of the book
I wasn't allowed to check out?

Chapter one-- "Grampa's story".

"Grampa worst was old and dying--"

Oh! Oh, daddy! I'm ready for you
to watch me swim now.

Hey, finally.

At least one of my kids
is actually getting in the pool.

"He was dying of something
old people die of."

So you got it.

All right, Sue! Come on, kid.
Show us how it's done.

Hi, guys.

Did you have fun at the pool?

Dad said that I suck at swimming
and I shouldn't try out for swim team.

Then I bought you a creamsicle.

So then the Nuldoids kidnap this kid

and take him to the bowels of the Earth.

Speaking of bowels,
what's for dinner?

Hey, no complaints. That chicken
or beef stew last night was great,

and we all kept that down.

Not completely true.

And after the giant tunnel hole,

they go to the ancient slide
of the Droiden Frobble dynasty.

Okay, Brick, honey,
great social interaction today.

Now please go find a book.

There must be one book in the house
you haven't read.

Okay.

Hey, champ.

Mom says I've had enough
social interaction today.

Okay. Catch you later.

I was still mad at Mike,

but I have a pretty good poker face.

Frankie, you weren't there.

You weren't at the pool.
She was bad. She was...

rhythmic dance team tryout bad.

All right, well,
just because she sucks

doesn't mean you should tell her
that she sucks.

What do you think that does
for her self-esteem?

Oh. You know, I thought
I was taking 'em to the pool.

If I had known it was gonna be
anything about self-esteem,

I wouldn't have done it.

What do you want?

5 feet, dad.

What should I have done, Frankie--
lie to her?

Since when did telling the truth
become a bad thing?

Sue's a sensitive young girl
who needs to be treated delicately.

Her emotions are right the surface.

She's not Axl.

We're her parents, Mike.

It's our job to cheer her on,
no matter what.

Hey, I love my daughter,

and I'm not gonna have her made fun of.

If someone's gonna dash her hopes,
damn it, it should be her family.

Mom, dad, guess what?

They did an eye test today at school,

and I need glasses.

In retrospect,
I guess there were signs.

Oh, I only want one.
I don't need both of them,

but thanks.

I got it!

Isn't it exciting?

I've always wanted glasses!

Mike, don't you see
what this means?

That we're never
getting a new dryer?

No, this explains why Sue
never makes anything. She's blind.

Oh, Mike.

See, you never know
what's gonna happen in life.

That's why you don't dash
someone's dreams.

Right. That's why you c-- Hey.

Mom? Which part of me
is my hungering manhood?

If the library fines
were half a dryer...

Glasses were a whole dryer...

But luckily, the Frugal Hoosier
has an optical department

and no mirrors.

Dork.

Dork.

I would never stop
punching you.

Knock it off.

She's a young girl with emotions
all over her surface

or something like that.

Anyway, our job is
to cheer her on.

Oh, my god.
Those look so great.

Seriously. I think you should
really, really buy them.

Okay. Guess these are the ones.

There is no stopping me
on swim team now.

Y-you're still trying out?

Yeah. Mom told me you said
I shouldn't try out,

'cause you wanted to test
how much I really wanted it.

Well, I want it, dad,

now more than ever.

Well, if that's what your mom said,
then I'm sure that's what I meant.

All right, that's it.

It's all that'll fit.

Oh, doesn't this look great?

I think this is really gonna be...

Frankie,

your husband is on line one.

He wants to take a shower and needs you
on the line with Axl until he's out.

Hey, that is his punishment!

Tell him to make Axl put on a
bathing suit and get in there with him.

So how's it going out here?

Oh. Uh, Mr. Ehlert, sir.

Hard at work.

It may look like fun,
but it's--it's work, work, work.

You did good, Frances.

Since this was your idea,

my commission on the first sale
of the day goes to you.

You're kidding.

Oh, Mr. Ehlert, you don't know
how much this means to me.

My daughter Sue needs glasses
and our dryer broke--

Already stopped listening.

So, uh, how many jelly beans
are in there?

Okay, so we forgot the little
detail of counting the jelly beans.

I wasn't gonna let that set us back.

There's solution for everything.

425,362 jelly beans.

Wow.

Isn't he smart?
He is so smart.

Damn it, he deserves a book.

I may not be able
to afford a new dryer.

But I could figure out a way
to get my kid his book.

Plus, I had to keep him out
of my bookshelf.

And then when the rakish count
stormed into the room,

her bosom heaved.

That means she threw up.

Kid.

Yeah. Come here.

How'd you like to check out
this book for me on your card, huh?

No, no. You don't have to tell anybody.

It'll just be our little secret.

I don't know.

Oh, come on. What's gonna happen?
Nothing. I promise.

I have jelly beans.

Okay.

Great. Here. And remember,
don't take candy from strangers.

I mean, I'm okay,
but in the future, don't do it.

I'll be waiting for you in the bushes.

It was the day of the big event,

and my idea was a huge success.

If that don't beat all--

a whole car full of jelly beans.

You know, I have been
all over this county,

and I ain't never seen anything like it.

- Excuse me?
- Yeah?

Is the actual jelly bean car for sale?

I just think it's a hoot and a half.

Well, yes, it is.
And after the big event is over,

I'd be happy to make you a great deal.

- Oh, okay. Thank you.
- Here.

Oh, thanks.

Yep, we were gonna be okay.

2009 might have started out bad,

but I was working my way back
to zero one jelly bean at a time.

And that...

Hey. What do you think you're doing?

You're outside the limit.

Bring it in 4 inches.

There you go.

Ladies and gents,
thanks for coming to Ehlert Motors.

We've got great deals
on all our vehicles,

so please, don't rush off.

We've got many knowledgeable salesman

and a woman to show you around.

All right, now for the winner.

There were 425,362
jelly beans in the car.

So the closest guess,

with 12,001 is...

Cecil Hagen!

Well, if that don't beat all.

Congratulations.

Hey, I won!

Now, kids, when that door opens,
you go ahead

and scoop up all the jelly beans
you can hold.

Frances, would you like
to do the honors?

Me?

Oh. Well, it was my idea.

Okay, everybody ready?

Ready?

A little stuck.

Open it.

Just a... Okay, everything's okay.

It's just a little warm out today,

so the jelly beans just need a little--

little bit of help to get out, and...

No, no, no, no. No, don't go.

No, don't go. Wait. No.

Oh, this will clean up really great.

You can still buy it.

I'll give you a great deal. A gr--

Well, this just proves that sometimes
the best man for the job is a man.

I'll put the cost of clean up
on your tab, Frances.

This roughly makes you... negative two.

No, no. No, no, I can fix it.

Look. Here. Wait. Wait.

Damn it. I was so close
to getting us out of this hole,

but it's just getting deeper.

And now I was supposed to go cheer Sue
on in swim team tryouts.

Whoo-frickin'-hoo.

Where's Sue?

Did I miss the tryouts?

Mike,

I thought he was punished.

He lured her into the perimeter.

What could I do?

What is he doing?

I whored myself for that book.

I promised it would be returned safely.

Hey, it got him into the pool.

Are those jelly beans in your hair?

Brick, Brick, float very carefully
over to the side.

I need that book out of the pool.

Oh, mom, mom, you made it!

I'm up.

Oh, Sue, yeah. Yeah.

I made it. I made it.

I'm here now.

Swim for me, baby!

Whoo! Okay. All right.

Go, Sue! Go, Sue!

It wasn't her eyes.
Mike was right. She sucked.

Okay, it's fine. It'll be fine.

Yeah, we're fine. We're fine.

It's fine.

Tornado!

Oh, come on!

It can't be a tornado.

It's a beautiful, sunny day.

I hate Indiana weather.

Mom, are we gonna be okay?

I don't know.

I don't know
if we're gonna be okay, Sue.

I really don't. Frankly,
I have no evidence that we will.

That's not what
you're supposed to say.

Oh, I know. I know.

I'm just supposed to pick you all up

and tell you everything's gonna be fine.

But you know what?
I don't know anymore!

You want to know the truth?
Your dad's big on truth.

Basically, our lives suck right now.
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.

2009 has been a rotten, rotten year.

We can't afford a new dryer.

We can't afford unexpired food.

I can't even afford
the LCD light-up angel

that I ordered on the TV
to surprise you all at Christmas.

Surprise!

If I don't sell a car,
that means no job.

That also means maybe no house,

but the tornado will probably
blow it all away anyway.

Oh, my god.
Let's just pack it all in.

Let's just give you kids
to Madonna or something.

Your dad and I will go live
in a tent city somewhere,

because the truth is,
we are screwed!

But it's fine. No, I--
everything's fine.

We'll be fine.

Frankie.

We'll get through.

Yeah.

Wow. Who knew I was living with
my own personal cheerleader?

Mike was right.

We would get through,

same as always.

'Cause it doesn't matter how big the storm
or how much stuff gets blown your way--

if you have each other,
that's everything.

'Cause there's nothing
more important than--

Holy crap! Is that a dryer?

You see it, too, right, Mike?

The tornado gave us a dryer.

Quick. Get it inside
before anybody sees.

Oh, my. Whoo!

Our luck started to turn
around after that.

Some stupid bank actually approved us
for a brand-new credit card,

so we paid off Brick's library fines...

We were able to afford contacts for Sue,

and she actually
made the swim team--

well, 34th alternate.

And the best part
of the new credit card?

No payments till 2012.

And I'm sure by 2012,

everything's gonna be great.

Okay. See, this is why
you never give up hope--

because anything is possible.

I mean, you just never know
what gonna happen.

You just gotta hang in there
and believe and--

Hot damn!
There's even clothes in there!