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Oh, thank you.

- With onions.
- Thank you.

- There you go.
- Thank you very much.

You guys want a little
ketchup or something?

- Yes, please.
- Yes, please

I knew that.

Oh, you don't have silverware.

Okay, I'll be right back.

Thank you.

Welcome to Apollo Coney Island.

What can I get you today?

I just had to get off
the road for a moment.

I will do a flat white.

A what?

A flat white.

It's just espresso
with steam milk on top.

I can get you a
black coffee in a mug.

Isn't there an actual
coffee shop anywhere in town?

Sure, Battle Alley Coffee.

Oh, great, where is that?

Right at the T where Battle
Alley connects to Main Street.

You can't miss it.

Okay, awesome,
thank you so much.

Of course, it's
closed on Sundays.

Oh.

So black coffee then?

Yep.

You know, you can put
cream and sugar in it.

Can you?

That is so
helpful, thank you so much.

14,72, oh, we don't
take the plastic.

No credit cards.

What?

Cash only.

Is this 1994?

I don't carry cash on me.

Is there an ATM?

Over there.

Geez, how old is this thing?

Is this even plugged in?

Oh, the ATM
machine is no work,

maybe for more than a year now.

Then why did you point at it?

Okay, is there a bank?

On the main street.

Okay, you go out this way.

Make a left out the lot.

You pass by big fire station

with three crazy dalmatian dog.

Okay, okay, just stop, stop.

I'll just put it
in my phone, okay?

And I will be back
here in 15 minutes.

Okay, but the bank is closed.

- What?
- It's weekend.

I'm just using the ATM.

But the machine
is inside the lobby.

Are you kidding me?

There's a machine in Fenton.

- Fenton?
- Yeah, it's maybe 30,

35 minutes from here.

Okay, no, no, I am
not driving an hour

and 10 minutes to pay for a
cup of coffee and a salad.

Look, this, this
is your problem.

Could I help at all?

This is my
business card, okay?

You call me when
you have decided

to join the 21st century
and can take plastic.

That is, if your phones

can make a long distance
call to LA, okay?

What just happened?

Oh, great.

Hi, I know, license
and registration.

Actually,
ma'am, if you wouldn't mind

pulling your vehicle

into the school parking
lot for me, please.

Where?

Oh, right behind us?

Just
about 100 yards or so.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Okay, now license, registration,

and proof of insurance, please.

Was I speeding?

Honestly, I was just
in a hurry to get away.

In a hurry to get away?

That's not gonna
play well in court.

Court?

Niko said you
left before paying.

You've got to be kidding me.

I offered to pay.

He doesn't take credit cards.

- How much was the bill?
- Less than $20.

$20?

Boy, I would've
loaned you the money.

Great, could you go
back and please pay Niko?

It's a little late for that

now that you've been
fleeing the scene.

Fleeing the scene?

Yeah, you did say you were
in a hurry to get out of town.

I...

You know, I'm surprised
that none of the men

over at Coney
offered to help you.

Holly's normally a
pretty nice town.

Is there like a fine or?

Well, that is going
to be up to the judge.

- Are you serious?
- Afraid so.

Hey, why did you have me
pull into this parking lot?

I was parked perfectly
safe on the road.

Well, by the time you
stopped your vehicle,

you were just slightly outta
the city limits of Holly,

outta my jurisdiction,

so I asked you to come back.

So I didn't have to come here?

Nope, I'm not a police
officer over there.

- And I could have just left?
- Yeah, sure.

And now?

And now, we are going to
have to go see Judge Narsh.

- Mike.
- Matt.

Mike is my brother.

I work for the city.

He works for the county.

This is Holly.

Holly, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

All rise for the
honorable Judge Jerry Narsh.

Thank you, please be seated.

The court of Holly,
Michigan is now in session.

And I see that
your name is Holly.

Indeed.

Just like
the name of this town.

- So I've heard,
- You're gonna love it here,

rhymes with jolly.
- And golly.

- Hello Matthew.
- Your Honor.

Michael tells me

that your grandmother
is doing well.

Oh yeah, she's
doing great, sir.

She's playing Scrabble
with her club.

Volunteers once a
week at the museum.

Boy, is she excited

for Holly Hotel's
Christmas Eve dinner.

So excited.

She's really, really excited.

- Me too, me too.
- What is going on here?

The Holly Hotel, it's our
only five star restaurant,

and man, do they put on the
best Christmas Eve dinner.

And there's Chef
Kathy, their daughter.

- And my wife.
- My sister-in-law.

She's their cook.

And boy, was that
ever a nice wedding?

I'm sorry you missed it, Holly.

What is going on here?

I'm sorry, it was planned

by Kathy's best
friend, Danielle,

who really knows how to
plan a classy wedding.

And with her help, did George
and Chrissy ever put on

a great event for
their daughter.

We rode in, in a
horse-drawn carriage.

That's grand.

So am I at trial here?

Yes, of course.

And to the matter of walking
out without paying your bill.

I did not walk out.

Well, I did,

but I did try to pay, they
just didn't take cards,

so I told them I'd
send it in the mail.

Seems reasonable,
Officer Williams.

Yes sir, your Honor.

You're in agreement?

Case dismissed.

Great, well, have fun
with your lives doing

whatever it is you
do in this town.

Hold on just one minute.

There is the matter of rudeness.

- Of what?
- Niko, the restaurant owner.

I play cards with
Niko on Saturday.

Grand.

And he shared with me that
you were extremely rude.

Last I checked, being
rude wasn't a crime.

But it's not something

that we take too highly
of here in Holly.

I don't care what you care
for, being rude is not a crime.

You can't arrest me for
something that isn't a crime.

I see the issue here.

I'll tell you what,
I'm gonna sentence you

to one week community service.

What?

You'll see the mayor
for the proper job.

This isn't fair.

You're welcome
to ask the mayor.

Perhaps he can
commute your sentence.

Court is adjourned.

I can't even believe this.

The judge said
I'm a flight risk.

I can't even get my car.

I need to see the mayor.

Hi, what?

I know it's only like a
half mile away, but it's cold.

Sure.

Oh my goodness, why is there
so much dog hair back here?

Because this is my
car, and I have a dog.

That's unprofessional,
okay, whatever, just take me

to the mayor.

Sure.

Here we are.

Okay, well, I literally
have dog hair all over my coat

and pants, so no tip.

Yeah, I'm Henry, by the way.

- No, you're Ryan.
- Pretty sure I'm Henry.

No, you're Ryan,
the Uber driver.

Still Henry.

Stranger danger!

I'm here to see the mayor.

The mayor's not here yet.

You can have a seat
though, please.

The mayor will see you now.

Your Honor, what
is happening here?

Oh, in this office, you
don't have to refer to me

as your Honor in this room.

Here, I'm Mayor Narsh.

You're the mayor?

And you're gonna
be staying with us

for a week I understand.

Isn't that right?

Unbelievable.

Hard labor, no, you're
not the hard labor type.

Volunteering at the church.

They do do a lot for
the homeless community,

but you are lacking
in people skills.

It does say here that
you just graduated

from veterinary medicine
because that's perfect.

We have a veterinary
assistant for the week.

Please report to this
address at 9:00 AM tomorrow.

This is small city corruption.

Tell it to the judge.

Hello, welcome to the
Holly Hotel, I'm George.

Wow, this is amazing.

Not at all what I
expected, I'm impressed.

Well, it's the gem of Holly,

and I've been the
owner since 1983.

Don't need the history,
just need a room.

Oh, sorry, we
don't have rooms.

Are you serious?

There are people who
actually come visit here?

Are you sure you're
all booked out?

Not booked, just
don't have any rooms.

See, we converted the upstairs
rooms to living space.

Kathy, our oldest daughter-

I don't care.

She and Matthew,
the police officer

that pulled you over, nice guy.

So nice.

Well, they got married.

And Chrissy and I, well
Chrissy, she's my wife.

Would you like to meet her?
- Not just now, George.

Well, Chrissy and I thought,

why don't we just
turn the upstairs

into a second living
space for them,

and we can concentrate
on our restaurant.

So why do you still
call it the Holly Hotel?

Why don't you call it
the Holly Restaurant?

Oh, folks around
here, they sort of know.

What a wonderful little
slice of Americana.

Well, I believe Grandma
Williams should have space

for you down at her B&B.

- Grandma Williams.
- Yeah, grandma Williams,

sweet little old lady.

Good morning.

Well, I suppose you
could call it that.

Well, what else
would you call it?

It's 8:30, my day starts
at five o'clock, Missy.

I see.

So what's for breakfast?

I've been sitting
here wondering that

for about three
and a half hours.

Hmm?

What are you gonna
make us for breakfast?

What am I?

Isn't this a bed and breakfast?

I've had my bed,
you've had your bed.

Now it's time for breakfast.

But you're the one

who's supposed to be
making me breakfast.

You're 26 years old, Missy.

I'm over 90.

Who do you think should
really be doing the work?

So what would you
like for breakfast?

Bacon, eggs, and
toast heavily buttered.

That food will kill you.

I'm living
proof that it won't.

But I'm vegan.

Good for you.

The Bacon's in the refridge.

Okay.

Oh no, stranger
danger, plot thickens.

Okay, Ryan, or Harold,
or whatever your name is,

I'm looking for Henry
Maxwell, the vet.

And by the way, I do
have mace in my pocket.

- You found him.
- You have a twin?

My parents are to be
believed, I'm in only child.

But when you picked
me up yesterday,

you said your name was Harold.

No, I said that
my name was Henry.

At that point, you
calling me Ryan.

But you're really Henry?

That's what the
birth certificate says.

Okay, is Ryan or
Harold your middle name?

Nope, middle name's Turner.

My mom was a huge
Harrison Ford fan.

You know, "Regarding Henry"
came out a couple of years

before I was born.

Then why is your Uber
profile under Ryan?

I don't have an Uber profile.

I'm friends with Judge
Narsh, and I'll have you know

that it is illegal to
impersonate an Uber driver.

Yeah, I don't think it is.

And I didn't
impersonate anybody.

But we could say
that you carjacked me

and forced me to
drive you around town.

Carjacked?

Yeah, and I'm better
friends with Judge Narsh

than you are, so maybe we
just keep this between us.

We wouldn't want to add
abduction to your growing list

of crimes and misdemeanors here

in the law abiding
village of Holly.

Abduction?

You could probably get
grand theft auto thrown

in there as well.

Grand Theft Auto?

What are you, a broken record?

If I keep saying crimes,
will you keep repeating them?

Breaking and entering?

What is even happening?

You want the long version
or the short version?

Short.

You're entitled.

Excuse me?

Would you prefer
the long version?

I'd prefer it if
you weren't so rude.

I'm not the one who assumes

that just because I need a ride,

anybody that happens
to be near me in a car

is there to serve me.

Anyway, I am a highly
educated Veterinarian

and you have me at your
disposal for a week.

And there you go, I
didn't ask for this.

I'm quite good at my job.

Well, I just
received my doctorate

in veterinary
medicine from Cornell.

You ever heard of it?
- Fancy school.

- And you?
- Community college.

Yeah, that's right, my parents
aren't rich like yours,

but I got my hands dirty,
learning the job in the field.

You ever actually practiced?

I'll have you know
that I am on my way to LA

to become a plastic surgeon
to the dogs of the stars.

A what?

You know, pinning
of the ears, lipo,

testicular implants, facelifts.

Yeah, well, sounds
like LA I guess.

Also sounds like
it pays a lot more

than anything around here.

- Let's go.
- Where?

- House call.
- Uh-uh, I'm not getting

in a car with you after this
pleasant little interaction.

Could always check to
see if Ryan or Harold

is available, come on.

You know, there's a
lot more to it than that.

More to what?

I'm not just doing cosmetic
procedures on cats and dogs.

I'll be doing the
elective procedures

so that I can do

the medically necessary
procedures pro bono.

There are medically necessary
plastic surgeries for dogs?

You know like really wrinkly
dogs like English bulldogs,

they get skin infections
from their wrinkles.

- Yeah?
- A nip here, a tuck there,

no more skin infections.

So to help out
one English bulldog,

you're going to put Botox in
100 Doberman Pinterest ears?

I won't be made fun of

because I have a financial plan
for my life, Mr. Flip phone.

First of all,
this is a choice.

And secondly, could you
be more materialistic?

This job means
financial freedom.

By year two, I get
a Mercedes-Benz.

By year seven, I buy
a house all cash.

And by year 15, I
retire, Honolulu.

In this 15 year plan of
yours, it proves that what,

you're a spiritual
person at heart?

It proves that I know
exactly what I want in life.

Money?

It's not a bad
thing to want money.

Said you and two
dozen Russian oligarchs.

All right, Saint
Henry, you're telling me

if you won the lottery today,
you just give it all away?

What makes you think

that I'm not independently
wealthy already?

That is a choice.

So you're just gonna make
house calls until you die?

If I'm lucky, yes.

I can't wait to get out
of this backwards town.

Yeah, trust me, the
town feels the same way.

Well, I had a look at her and-

No trail rides
for a couple weeks

just to get that
hoof time to heal.

But other than that,
business as usual.

Yeah, that's actually
spot on correct.

Well, thank you
both for your help,

and I'll let George
and Chrissy know.

You know about horses.

So you're more than just
what Cornell taught you

in a textbook.

Yep.

Care to add to
that explanation?

Nope, I did notice you
didn't get paid though.

- Yeah, not money.
- What else is there?

Well, Chrissy and George
own the Holly Hotel.

Right, the hotel that's not
a hotel, but a restaurant.

A very good restaurant, and
I get to eat there for free.

I can also come for trail
rides whenever I like.

Supposed to be going
to one tomorrow.

You're welcome to come.

I mean, that is if you can
actually get on a horse.

You do know they
make tofu bacon.

I'm sorry, you're gonna
have to talk louder.

Did you know
that they make tofu bacon?

Tofu, what's that?

Some kind of martial art?

No, it's a meat substitute
made from soybeans.

Meat substitute?

Oh, when Grandpa Williams
died 15 years ago,

I had a husband substitute.

You know what I call it?

What?

"Wheel of Fortune".

You like Pat Sajak?

Well, let's say I'd let
him sell me a fowl or two.

So how would you like
your eggs this morning?

Like I live my
life, sunny side up.

You have heard of
salmonella, right?

Where's the frying pan?

To the right of the stove.

And where's the cooking spray?

Cooking spray?

Child, I was born during
the Great Depression.

At my house, we call
cooking spray, bacon grease.

I can hear your arteries
hardening all the way

from over here [chuckling].

So how would you
like your bacon?

Like my hot toddy,
crisp and dark brown.

Are there any bad habits
that you don't have?

Why, are you selling some?

You know, you could take a
page or two from my book.

It might do you some good.

Oh yeah, what should
I focus on first?

- Quit being afraid of life.
- I'm not scared of living.

This from a
girl who's afraid to eat meat

because it might
harden her arteries,

thinks eggs are
biohazardous materials,

and has already
washed her hands twice

in the last five minutes.

Now, let me ask you this.

In New York, Miami, or
wherever it is you are from,

how many times do you go back

and check your lock on
your door of your apartment

after you go to bed?

I don't.

Three, sometimes, three usually.

You want life
to be neat, clean,

and orderly with child
protective coverings

on all the sharp edges.

But let me tell you this,
Missy, life is messy.

It does go bump in the night.

The sooner you make peace with
that, the happier you'll be.

- Good morning.
- Oh, hi, good morning.

I'm Carl.

No.

No, what?

Don't get any ideas.

She's not right for you, and
you're not right for her.

Grandma, I wasn't
getting any ideas.

You're a man, aren't you?

And she's a beautiful
young woman.

Oh, thank you.

Cut it, Holly.

Of course, you get ideas.

We were just
saying good morning.

Hmm-hmm.

I'm sorry, who is this?

Who are you?

I'm Holly.

Hello, I'm Carl with no ideas.

My grandson.

I thought your grandson
was the police officer.

It's possible to have
more than one grandson.

I have nine.

This one works for
the fire department.

Wait a second, why
am I not right for her?

Not that I'm interested.

No.

But what's wrong with me?

Plenty, but there's
somebody out there for you.

And when I meet her, I'll know.

How?

Because I'm old
and I know things.

So I'm actually about
to take grandma here up

to Frankenmuth for
the first time.

I've rented a Airbnb
for about a week.

We're gonna go check
out the holiday lights

and the festivities for a bit.

Holly's a nice little town,

but I've spent about 75
of my Christmases here,

and I've kind of
seen everything.

I wanna see something new.

Anything wrong with that?

Nothing, that's great.

Yeah, sounds fun.

And if you're gonna
stay over Christmas,

you know where my spare key is.

I'll be gone.

If you
wanna make God laugh,

just tell Him your plans.

But you have plans.

That's different,
about this point,

God and I are
about the same age.

Grandma, cheers.

You too, Holly, Merry Christmas.

I'm just saying that bartering

has not been a recognized
form of currency

in about 100 years.

I love bartering.

I'm like the barter
king of Oakland County.

Yeah, and that's why you're
gonna work until you die.

Like why are we out
here on a trail ride

in the middle of the day?

Chrissy offered to let us
take two horses out today,

and I said yes, simple as that.

I personally think
that it's important

to slow down and enjoy life.

Don't you?

Working until you die
is not a good thing.

You have not talked
to enough people

that actually love
what they do for work.

You are like the most
annoying person I've ever met.

You know what you need?

- What's that?
- You need a phrase.

What sort of phrase?

How about good natured?

Well, first of all, the
description has to be true.

You don't think
that I'm good natured?

Second of all, my description
had something more to do

with your economic policy.

And you don't think that
barter king does the trick?

I was thinking something
more along the lines

of voodoo economics.

You know, knowing how
annoying I am to you,

I'm surprised you didn't
go with Ronald McDonald.

Hey, if the clown shoe fits,

I'm not gonna stop
you from wearing it.

And by the way,

you started this when you
called me Ebeneezer to Chrissy.

Yeah, I heard that.

Look, I'm sorry,

I didn't expect that
to get around to you.

It's okay, I like
a little ingenuity

with my insults. Mr.
Christmas Tree Hugger.

Christmas Tree Hugger?

Yeah, I'm insulting
your way of life

while sticking to
a Christmasy theme,

just like you did
with Ebeneezer.

That's fair.

Yeah, so go on, do your worst.

- My worst what?
- Insult.

- Okay.
- I'm waiting.

"The Wolf of Wall Street".

Eh, that's good,
but it's not great.

- "Rumpelstiltskin"?
- Spinning straw into gold?

Yeah, like you know, you
have a general obsession

with material things.

Not too bad.

So you're impressed?

I am.

You're insulted.

Look, I'm sorry I just...

No, you did good.

I asked for it,
and you delivered.

- I have to say something.
- Go on Chris Cringle.

Actions speak
louder than words.

You're insulted because it hit
home, but I didn't mean to.

You did.

But if it wasn't true
then it wouldn't...

Do you wanna know what
my problem is with you?

I can tell you
what my problem is.

I seem to be stuck with
a professional criticizer

for a whole week.

You're messy, that's
why I don't like you.

Tell me how you really
feel why don't you?

And I'll have you know,
I'm a very neat person.

I don't mean messy like that.

I mean you're messy
like Christmas.

Because that makes
so much more sense.

Isn't this the mayor's office?

It is.

What are we doing here?

I'm dropping you off.

You are dropping me off?

What is it with you repeating
what I say back to me.

Why are you dropping me off?

So that you can
explain to Judge Narsh

that he's gonna have to
find someplace else for you

to do your community service.

I make it a point not to
spend time with people

who don't like me.

Good riddance.

I need to speak
with the judge now.

Look, if you wanna make an
appointment with the judge,

you're gonna have to go
back down to the courthouse.

The judge, the mayor who's
ever in that office right now,

I need to speak to him.

Look, it makes a
difference if you wanna talk

to the mayor or the judge.

I can't make appointments for
the judge, only the mayor.

Are you Holly people
given a guidebook

for how to be as
annoying as possible,

or are you just born
with that talent?

Us Holly people?

Let me tell you
something little girl.

Hi Holly, I thought
I recognized your voice.

Come on in.

Throw the book at her, Judge.

Hmm, I'd have to
be able to walk down

to the courthouse to do that.

I just got off the
phone with Henry.

Hmm.

He said he had
a message for you.

Oh, I'm sure he does.

He said the phone is a
choice, Rumpelstiltskin.

And he said you'd understand.

Oh, I understand.

And I understand that he's
a backwards, backwater,

black hole of a human being

who's just slightly less
annoying than the town

that he lives in.

And you judge, jury
and executioner,

I'm gonna have you disbarred,
dethroned and deactivated.

Are you done?

No.

Yes.

Well then, maybe what you
need is another 48 hours

of community service.

Maybe that'll be enough time
to get you to warm up to us.

Another 48 hours?

Huh, Henry was right.

About what?

He said you have
this weird trait

where you repeat back
to people what they say,

but in the form of a question

You can add to my
community service.

You're the mayor right now.

Well in a backwards,

backwater, black
hole sort of town

that is only slightly
less annoying

than the town veterinarian,
it seems that I can.

When I get outta here,
I'm gonna write a book

about this place and it is
going to be a war story.

Open yourself up to Holly.

Give it a chance.

You might find that the place,

and the people will grow on you.

Yeah, maybe like a fungus.

Yeah, that's not the
comparison I would've chosen.

All right, so
where do I go now?

Go, what do you mean?

To finish my
community service.

Where am I going next?

Well, back to Henry of course.

You've gotta be kidding me.

No, serious
as a heart attack.

That is not going to work.

I mean, I think he
doesn't like me almost

as much as I don't like him.

Well, you tell him
that Mayor Narsh said

to embrace the humbug

until it melts into the
spirit of Christmas.

Hmm.

He told me he
likes to call you Ebeneezer.

Ebeneezer and Rumpelstiltskin.

How long were you
guys on the phone for?

Just a few minutes.

But I told him Ebeneezer

and Rumpelstiltskin
were good choices,

but he should stick with
the Christmas theme.

Naturally, I couldn't
resist to point out

that he had missed the
second most obvious one

behind, of course, Ebeneezer.

- Second most what?
- Christmas insult.

- Which is?
- Mr. Potter.

"It's a wonderful life".

I know Mr. Potter is.

You prefer Ebeneezer?

I am not the person that this
town is making me out to be.

Holly, if I didn't
already know that,

I wouldn't have sentenced
you to community service.

So on top of being a vet

and an Uber driver impersonator,
you've also had a janitor.

Good to see that your financial
situation's working out

as good as your phone situation.

Yeah, I'm unhappy to see
you too, Rumpelstiltskin.

The unhappy feeling
is mutual, Papa Noel.

So let's see, you've
already used Saint Nick,

Chris Cringle,
and now Papa Noel.

Do you wanna go ahead
and get Father Christmas

outta the way now

or do you insist on
saving that one for later?

I'm all set for now.

I've got a bunch more
saved up for later.

Yeah, I doubt that.

You know, you are not
the brightest blinking bulb

on the Christmas tree.

Very alliterative.

Alliteration not your thing?

Try this, you're not
the sharpest tool
in Santa's workshop.

Nah.

So anyway, Mudge Narsh.

- Mudge?
- Mayor, judge, mudge.

Mudge, got it, that's
actually not bad.

Try to keep up.

So anyway, Mudge
Narsh has ordained

that I continue my
community service

despite my intense objections.

And mine.

So that just means
we're gonna have to try it

and get along.

Yeah, but I don't get along
well with entitled people.

And I'd rather spend my week

with you Yukon
Cornelius than you.

Who in the world
is Yukon Cornelius?

He's the prospector guy

from "Rudolph the
Red Nose Reindeer".

I was just trying to make
an insult in the form

of Christmas Cannon.

You know, extra credit to you

for kind of pulling
that one off.

Hey, wait a sec.

What?

Isn't he the one that's
obsessed with silver and gold?

I think he even sings
a song about it.

You've got a top graduate
from a top university.

What do you need me to do?

- Hmm, funny you should ask.
- What's this?

That is a broom.

People generally use
'em for sweeping.

This is ridiculous,
I'm a doctor.

Welcome to the
janitorial crew.

You'll find cleaning supplies
in the bathroom closet.

- What's this?
- Those are keys.

People generally use 'em for
locking and unlocking doors.

Where are you going?

To the trailer park
in your imagination.

- What?
- To my home.

Be sure to lock up when you
leave and do a good job.

Wouldn't wanna have to make
a bad report to Judge Narsh.

You know, Yukon
Cornelius has bigger biceps

than your noodly arms.

Goodnight.

I need to get you and Henry
your own personal tickets

for a rumble seat.

What's a rumble seat?

Oh, I saw my great
niece yesterday,

and I told her she was
bouncing around like a pinball.

Guess what she said?

What?

What's a pinball?

Oh my gosh.

Nevermind what
a rumble seat is.

I was just trying to tell
you that opposites attract.

You are wrong about us.

I used to have a
coffee mug that said,

"I thought I was wrong
once, but I was mistaken."

Grandpa Williams got it for
me for Christmas, one year.

We all know how smart
Grandpa Williams was,

because he married me.

Do you mind if I
ask what happened?

One of the grandkids
knocked it off the table,

shattered it into 100 pieces.

- I meant.
- I know what you meant.

We had over 50 years
of a good marriage,

and then he passed.

I'm sorry.

Don't be, most
people aren't as lucky.

They pick the wrong partner.

You don't know anything
about Henry and me.

And even if you were
right, which you aren't,

I'll be leaving in a few days.

The way you're
racking up time, Missy,

you'll still be here
around New Year's.

If I rack up any more time,

I will be contacting
the Attorney General.

Instead of contacting
the Attorney General,

why don't you spend
some time figuring out

why you're so afraid of Henry?

You think Henry scares me?

What's interesting to me
is that you are starting

to scare him back.

I doubt that.

Why don't you try
being nice to Henry

and see what happens?

Because I don't like him.

You know what George Burns
says about living a long life?

Who is George Burns?

Lord have mercy
on my pitiful soul.

I'm kidding, I do know
who George Burns is.

Thank heaven for
small miracles.

So what did George Burns say
the secret to a long life is?

He said he ate everything.

If he didn't like it,
he put ketchup on it.

You know, that is
pretty good advice.

You know what I say a
secret to long life is?

What?

Be nice to everyone.

You know, that is
pretty good advice.

Try it out on Henry today,

and everyone you meet.

You might be surprised.

Good morning.

- Good morning.
- So I was thinking

that we could do something
a little different today.

Maybe you could take me
on a tour around Holly.

- Really?
- Hmm-hmm.

Well, no appointments
until late this afternoon.

And if there's an emergency,
I can always be reached on my-

Pager?

My phone is a choice.

Okay, fine, fine.

Go on, explain.

I know you're dying to.

- Explain what?
- Why you have a flip phone.

Life is too short to give
so much of it to the internet.

So like how do you get around?

Do you have like a map?

I have a GPS.

They still make those?

I mean, the box did
say for marine use only

and it tends to steer
me towards rivers.

Okay, boss, ready to go?

Boss?

Come here.

Do you have a temperature?
- Mm-mm.

- Concussion?
- Mm-mm.

Did you eat some
unmarked brownies?

Well, they were marked,

but it did say, "For
glaucoma use only."

- Did you eat them?
- No.

Hmm, so you've been replaced
with a super intelligent

and lifelike AI.

Stop it.

You have a nice smile.

Thank you.

Coney Island?

The place where
you dined and dashed?

I did not dine and dash.

- Did you eat?
- Yes.

Did you pay?

I tried, very
strenuously I might add.

So you didn't pay.

Okay, do you have the address

so I can like put it
in my GPS on my phone?

You are not gonna let
the phone thing go are you?

Nope.

Just come on.

I don't need a GPS to
get us around Holly.

Henry, Henry,
how you do Henry?

Hey Niko, how's it going?

And I don't think
we officially met yet,

but I did give you nickname so
I can tell your story better.

- Oh yeah, what's that?
- Cash Only.

My
real name is Holly.

Oh, do you mind if I
keep calling you Cash Only

when I tell your story?

It makes it more fun.

Not at all.

And I believe that this
will cover my debt,

and something a little
extra for the waitress.

Thank you, Robin
will really appreciate.

So what are your
kids doing today?

Well, I am on my apology tour.

You are?

And I figured since this
is where it all began,

I'm sorry, Niko.

Can we start over?

All in past.

Can I get you something to eat?

I ate.

Tea, piece of
baklava, rice pudding?

Perfect.

You know, long time
to ago, I knew some guy

who couldn't say I'm sorry.

His name was Vasili.

But everybody around
here call him Just North,

because every time he did job,

he did just north to get by.

Now that I think, Vasili
had many problems in life.

- What happened to him?
- The dogs, they get him.

Oh, that's grizzly.

No, no, I don't
mean they eat him.

I mean, he took trip
down to the Florida.

He took out big debit, debt,
about how you say before?

Oh, debt.

Debt, yes, betting
on the dog races.

After that, he had
to skip the country.

Now, I think he's on
Greek Island somewhere.

He sounds like a
colorful character.

Ah, you want to hear
about colorful character?

Let me tell you
about Pythonus Pete.

Pete used to like

to wrestle big pythonus
snakes for fun.

Talk about crazy!

She moved to the Texas,

but then one day she
pop up on the TV set,

water skating in that same
big hat with the red feathers.

If that don't beat everything.

Niko, I think I
could talk to you

for like two or three years.

Eh, after two or three months,
I start to repeat myself.

- I wouldn't mind.
- Oh, thank you Ms. Holly.

That's very sweet of you.

- I prefer Cash Only.
- Yes ma'am, Cash Only.

And again, I'm so sorry,
Niko, please forgive me.

- Oh, everything's okay.
- Can we start over?

Of course, no problems.

So tell me, are you
going to be staying

with us through Christmas?

That is the mayor's
plan for you, you know.

I will be in LA
long before that.

My gosh, what is a girl
like you going to do down

in lower Alabama?

Not lower Alabama,
LA, Los Angeles, LA.

- California?
- Mm-mm.

That's even worse, oh my gosh.

You've gotta do
something, intervene.

Intervene?

I'm a veterinarian.

What do you want me to do?

Fit her for a neck cone?

If it'll work.

That will not work.

I could rock a neck cone.

- Mm.
- mm-mm.

You know, all it's going
to take is one Christmas,

one Christmas for you

to understand the kind of
magic we have right here

in this little town.

Believe me, I'm
definitely starting

to experience the magic of
this little town just fine.

But she has to leave

because she has a 15 year
plan that involves retirement

and something about
a Disney movie.

What did I tell you
about the Disney jokes?

Weren't you the one who tried

to pay my bill the other day?

I am, yes.

And wasn't I the one?

You were not
very appreciative.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm Holly.

I'm William, Bill.

It's so nice to
officially meet you.

It's nice to
meet you too, Bill.

I really have to go though.

I've gotta run right home
to see the Mrs, if you will.

And I'm sorry I
was so rude to you.

Oh, that's okay.

Everyone has a bad day or
two every now and then,

even Two Shoes here.

Two Shoes?

Cash only, I'd
like to introduce you

to Goodie Little Two Shoes.

Oh, [chuckling] a nickname.

I like it.

See you, guys.

So where to now, Cash Only?

Oh boy, it's the Ms. You
Holly People girl again.

Well, actually people
around here have taken

to calling me Cash Only.

What?

I think we met like
three times already.

And I have yet to ask your
name, and I'm sorry for that.

I'm Sandra.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Holly, or as Niko likes
to call me, Cash Only.

Does Niko have a
nickname for you too?

Yes, he does.

He calls me Lady Jane Gray.

Do I know her?

Well, she was the Queen
of England for nine days,

but that's not why
he calls me that.

I'm also the Chef
at the Holly Hotel.

And every time he comes in,

I serve him a cup
of lady gray tea.

Well, I am sure she
was a beautiful woman,

and you are too.
- Thank you.

Well, the mayor's in.

Would you like to see him?

No, actually, I'm
here to talk to you.

Me?

Yeah, Two Shoes over here
is escorting me around town

to make amends for
my terrible rudeness.

And I acted way outta
line and was super rude.

And that, "You Holly
people" comment

that I so callously
called you is not true.

You Holly people are
actually very nice,

and I hope that you can
accept my sincere apology.

Absolutely not.

Of course, I understand.

We Holly people, we don't
just accept apologies.

We also hug it out.

Oh, okay.

Girl, you better hug
me like you mean it.

Oh, man.

Holly, I am so glad you're
here if you have a few minutes.

Yeah, I'm actually
on Henry's clock today.

He's taking me around town to
apologize to everyone, but...

Go ahead, I gotta
make a phone call.

Still a choice.

- Apology accepted.
- I haven't even started.

Apology accepted.

Now, think about staying.

I have a feeling about
you in this town.

Believe me, I
would love to stay,

but I start my new
job in LA on Monday

and a whole new
chapter of my life.

Well, think about at
least staying for Christmas.

I have to be in the
new office on Monday.

I don't even know if
I have enough time

to finish my community service.

You know, I could always
add to your sentence,

but I won't, that
wouldn't be fair.

So you just finish your
days and who knows?

You have a nice town, but
I'm just passing through.

If you ever want to
come back to Holly,

and finish what we
started this Christmas,

please know that you will
always be welcome here.

What are we doing here?

Did you forget something?

No.

But you said that we're
making one last stop

on your apology tour.

You are my last stop.

I see.

Look Holly, I have some
apologizing to do too.

- No, hang on, I'm doing this.
- Let me make you a deal.

Does this deal involve
either one of us apologizing

to each other.

- It does.
- Then I'm listening.

What if I took you to dinner
tonight at the Holly Hotel?

Are you asking me
out like on a date?

- Yeah, yes I am.
- This is weird.

It was just an
idea, like we don't...

No, no, no, sorry, not
you, you're not weird.

It's just everything is apps
and swipe left, swipe right.

And I don't think I've ever
actually been asked on a date

before in my entire life.

I don't mean to be a
stickler for details here,

but are you saying yes or no?

I am saying yes.

It is like your words
have cast a spell on me,

and I just follow kindness
wherever it leads.

Well, I wish kindness
would lead me to Pat Sajak.

I haven't felt
this free in years.

The feeling is free,
but the advice is not.

It'll show up on your bill
right under room service

and local taxes.

Well, it'll be
worth every penny.

Pennies, I don't know

who you've been getting
your advice from,

but my advice will cost you
several Benjamin Franklins.

Do you just have a notebook

where you jot down one-liners?

Lucille Ball's
got nothing on me.

Who's Lucille Ball?

Oh goodness, oh, wait a
minute, are you kidding me?

I am.

- I like you.
- Aw.

Oh, that is Henry, and he
wants me to come outside.

It was my idea by the way.

I have connections.

What was your idea?

He wasn't for it
at the beginning,

but I told him to wait
and see how the day went.

And now, he's all for it.

All for what?

I got you and Henry a
rumble seat for Christmas.

A rumble seat?

Well, the closest thing to it.

Enjoy your evening, let
kindness be your guide.

And if it leads you to Pat
Sajak, give him my address.

This is-

I know, the
small town is silly, but...

It's really nice.

I was just gonna say
that it's really nice.

So I feel rude for not asking
before, but where is home?

Take a guess.

Let's see, you were driving
through Michigan to LA,

so I'm guessing you cut
across from New York?

Nope.

Okay, that was
the obvious one.

I haven't heard an
accent on the Os,

but are you Canadian
coming down from Toronto?

It's a really nice city,
but I've only visited.

Okay, I give.

Crystal Falls, Michigan,
population 1,958.

What, in the upper peninsula?

But you told everyone that-

No, I didn't.

Nobody ever asked.

Everyone just assumed.

Wow, so you really
have learned about horses

Mm-mm, and sled dogs too.

Wow, so your parents still
live up there too, I assume?

They passed, auto accident.

Holly, I'm so
sorry to hear that.

It was 11 years
ago, Christmas Eve.

Holly, that is
terrible, I'm so sorry.

I don't wanna hear it.

You're a veterinarian,
not a psychologist.

Fair enough, but really,
I am so sorry to hear that.

All right, I got
a hard one for you.

Are you ready?

Seems entirely fair.

Have you always wanted
to be a veterinarian

or was med school too hard?

You do not pull
the punches, do you?

Float like a butterfly,
sting like a bee.

You know, I feel
like a new nickname

might be in the works.

Uh-uh, I earned Cash
Only fair and square.

And I feel like you're
avoiding my question.

I wanted to be a vet
since I saw the man

from "Snowy River"
for the first time

when I was seven years old.

- I love that movie!
- You know it?

Yes.

Yeah. I'll never
forget him taking

that horse over the
edge of the cliff.

Ugh, I get chills
just thinking about it.

So?

So?

Are you gonna ask me?

I feel like you
shared a lot already.

I mean, don't get me wrong,

I'd like to know if
you'd like to tell me.

I just didn't wanna put
you on the spot again.

It was always
about the animals.

I'm even a vegetarian.

But since the accident, I
needed to get outta town

and that means money.

I'm not gonna barter
for my milk and my eggs.

So the canine
plastic surgery thing

actually makes sense now.

I left for college
when I was 18,

and I haven't been back since,

but I'm LA bound now, baby.

But you don't really know
if working with animals

is your job or your passion.

I love animals,

But the plastic surgery part.

I don't know,
it's be really scary

to spend your entire adult
life pursuing something

that might not be your passion.

Okay, now let me ask
you something else,

and I'm hoping this
will be an easy one.

- Yes.
- Guess what?

I do believe in Santa Claus.

That wasn't the question.

Wait a minute, you're
telling me there are people

that don't believe
in Santa Claus?

I know, the Baldwin brothers.

It hasn't been
independently verified,

but the media's
going crazy with it.

I will never watch "The
Hunt for Red October" again.

- Which one's in that?
- Alec.

And don't think that you're
avoiding my question.

Oh, but I put so much
effort into being avoidant.

Okay, what if I flash
you my puppy dog eyes.

That looks more
like acid reflux.

Ugh, this is
why you're single.

Who says I'm single?

The antique phone of yours,

you can't download
any dating apps.

- The phone is a choice.
- Yeah, a choice to be single.

- Okay, here's my question.
- Okay.

I've really enjoyed
talking to you,

and I'm hoping you'll
have dinner with me

at the Holly Hotel tonight.

- Of course.
- Great.

I do have one more
question for you though.

- Yeah, what's that?
- How are we getting home?

Does Grandma
Williams still drive?

Heaven help us.

Hey, you could always give
your friend Ryan a call.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

You have a good day.

I'm sorry, I
have to take this.

Would you excuse
me for a second?

Yeah, of course.

Hello, this is Holly.

Holly, Dr. Martin here.

Oh yes, hello.

I have Monday written
down as your start date.

Yes ma'am, that's right.

You have a very big
client coming in on Friday.

I can't say who, but
let's just say she works

for a certain mouse in Florida.

So let's have you start
on Friday instead.

- Oh, well-
- All right, good.

See you then.

Hello, hello?

Henry, the phone call,

I just want you to know what
a magical week I've had.

I mean, this town,

and you, mostly you.

Hey, for me too.

I mean, you love animals.

You are so beautiful.

You're fun, you have
a wonderful heart.

I'm 100% falling for you.

Sorry, is it
something that I said?

Am I somehow misreading this?

No, you didn't.

You did everything right.

You said everything right.

And now, I have to go.

Holly?

Holly?

♪ Is it too good to be true ♪

Dear Grandma Williams,

thank you for becoming
such a dear friend

in such a short time.

If you are right about kindness,

then I know the kindest
thing for me to do right now

is to leave.

Henry can never be
my Grandpa Williams

because our lives are
just too different.

Continuing to spend time with
him is confusing the fact

for both of us.

Love always, Cash Only.

PS, I hope you like
the Christmas present.

Grandpa Williams would approve.

Hold your horses,
I'm working on it.

Can I come in?

So does that mean
I'm free to go?

Actually, just
between you and me,

you were always free to go.

I never actually
found you in contempt.

Isn't that like
nine kinds of illegal?

Well, maybe, but had you
looked at the paperwork

that you signed before you
stormed out of the courtroom,

you would've found that
you were always free to go.

Color me, I'm convinced.

Shouldn't you take the
time to share with Henry

what you've just shared with me?

- I can't do it.
- Why?

If what you were
telling me is true

and there's feelings forming
between the two of you,

if you leave with
no explanation,

isn't that going to hurt worse?

I'm scared, I'm not
strong enough to tell him.

I'm sure
he'll understand.

I'm not scared of
him not understanding.

Then what are you scared of?

I'm scared that if I see him,

I won't be strong enough to go.

Does this room look sterile?

It's not a trick question.

I think so.

No, it doesn't.

Go get your cleaning supplies,

and come back and
clean up this room now.

Make it look perfect.
- Yes ma'am.

Holly, what have I told you

about wearing the
plain white lab coat?

Tomorrow, I want you to come in

and wear a cute outfit
like everyone else.

I'm sorry. Dr.
Martin, I forgot.

And what have I told
you about Dr. Martin

when we're not in
a consultation?

Use your spirit name.

Then try again.

I'm sorry, Sunny
Meadows, I forgot.

That's better.

How'd the meeting with
prospective client go?

Great.

- They signed?
- Yeah.

Were you able to
add on any procedures?

They got what they came for.

That's not great.

That's below average.

Anyone can sell someone
what they came for.

I'm sorry, Sunny, I guess I-

It's Sunny Meadows, not Sunny.

I'm sorry?

My spirit name,
it's one name not two.

Meadows is not a last name.

My whole first spirit
name is Sunny Meadows.

Uh-huh.

What were you
going to tell me?

I honestly don't
even remember.

I think you were
trying to make an excuse

for why you can only
sell a standard package.

Yeah, I'm just not
great at upselling.

It's a skill,

not a talent.

You have to learn how to do it.

You should get a
picture of the one thing

that you want most in the world,

and keep it in the
drawer of your desk.

Take it out and stare
at it for a full minute

before each new
meeting with a client.

My first one was a vacation
property in the San Diego area.

I'm on picture number four now.

And what is it?

One of those new
luxury electrics that
come out next year.

I don't even really like cars,

but the base price on some
of them is over 300,000,

so I have to have one.
- Of course.

Question is, Holly, what do
you want most in the world?

Are you paying attention?

Henry.

What?

What I want most in
the world is Henry.

People don't work, Holly.

It has to be a thing.
You can't buy people.

- Dr. Martin-
- My spirit name.

I quit!

If that's Holly,
the door's open.

If it's anyone else,

I have a Doberman in
here the size of a car

and he hasn't eaten
in three days.

Watch the merchandise, Missy.

The warranty ran out a long
time ago on this old body.

You break me, you buy me.

Merry Christmas,
Grandma Williams.

I see you got my present.

Yes.

I love it.

I'm glad.

I tried to send
you a lump of coal,

but they only sell that
stuff by the metric ton.

Well, I'm glad I wasn't that
high up on the naughty list.

You were darn near
the prize winner.

I just couldn't afford the
shipping cost on that much coal.

Do you think that Henry
will give me a second chance?

Oh, I have no doubt about it.

Well, what do I
even say to him?

- Just tell him the truth.
- Which is?

That you're no longer
afraid to be happy.

Oh, the merchandise, Missy.

Now, wish me luck.

Wish you luck?

Isn't that supposed to
be the other way around?

When you get to be my age,

you need all the
luck you can get.

- Dining alone?
- Holly?

Merry Christmas Two Shoes.

That just does not get
old for you, does it?

Truth doesn't age.

You're here.

Yeah, turns out I'm not too
good at upselling neuticles.

I'm sorry, neuticles?

Yeah, it's when they
chop, chop the boy dog,

and afterwards, then try to
make him feel more masculine.

- That sounds horrific.
- Trust me, it is.

So you're running
away from LA?

I've been running
away for 11 years now.

It wasn't until I met you

and the people of this town

that I finally feel
like home again.

Wow, that's a lot to take in.

I understand, I'm sorry

that I left without
saying goodbye,

and I'm sorry for the person

that I was when I first
came into this town,

and I'm sorry that I'm the
type of person who thinks

that just because
they're going somewhere,

the person in front of them
is Ryan, the Uber driver.

And if you give me
a second chance,

I promise you I will
win your heart over.

Holly, that's no
longer possible.

I understand, I'll go.

I can't give you a second
chance to win my heart

when you already have it.

It's so beautiful out tonight.

We should take a picture.

Oh, too bad you got a
flip phone [laughing].

The
phone is a choice.