Original subtitles

Oh, you're gonna absolutely love it. I just watched it. It's called John from

Cincinnati. Oh, I gotta go.

Hey guys, it's Sarah Silverman.

It's a couple hours before the show and I'm just looking at the news.

You're probably aware that Brett Kavanaugh's been accused of sexual

which is bringing the confirmation process to a screeching normal pace.

Of course, Kavanaugh denies the accusation, but the victim, Dr. Blasey,

that a heavily inebriated...

a .k .a. Schwasted, Kavanaugh, pinned her down onto a bed, groped her, held

hand over her mouth so she couldn't scream, and tried to take her clothes

a high school party in the 80s. Which sounds kind of like a John Hughes movie.

Maybe like the rapiest of John Hughes movies.

If this is true, Kavanaugh does not remember it at all. And, you know, why

he? It was clearly not a life -changing moment for him.

But for her, it had a lasting effect. And of course it did. She was held down

against her will.

Adrenaline is released into your body during moments like this. That's why you

remember them. It's why, you know, people remember exactly where they were

JFK was shot or when 9 -11 happened or when they found out that Garth Brooks

Chris Gaines.

A lot of people are saying that Dr. Blasey did it for attention.

And, you know, maybe they're right. Because now that she's speaking out,

gotten so much attention online and in real life that she had to move.

She had to fucking move. Isn't that fun?

I think she's doing something really brave.

And now in this time when we should be thoroughly vetting Kavanaugh, we are

vetting her.

Someone who's exposing her personal life at the expense of her entire life. And

she's okay with it because that's the code she lives by.

Kavanaugh lives by a slightly different code.

We had a good saying that we've held firm to to this day, as the dean was

reminding me before the talk, which is what happens at Georgetown Prep stays at

Georgetown Prep.

I mean, whatever you think of him, you've got to admit, the guy is funny.

Hey, Glenn with one N. Hey, Opie.

Hey, Tim. Hi, Mark.

Anastasia.

Anastasia, good to see you. Hi, Chip.

Hi, Becca. Hi, Brianna. Hi, Cammie. Hi, Becky.

Dirk, I see you.

Hey, Keith. Hi, Joanna.

Oh, hi, Judith Light.

I think that's everyone.

Okay, so.

Just before the Me Too movement swept the nation, I was standing in the back

a comedy club with my friend Nick Kroll, and we were watching our friend Natasha

Leggero do stand -up.

And just to prove I'm not being name -droppy, my friend Bonnie T. Parsley was

also there, who you've definitely not heard of, because she's not famous.

She's a dentist. A shitty one. Don't go to her.

I mean, she's addicted to cocaine.

Plus, I made her up.

Anyway, so Natasha was on stage and she asked the women in the audience to raise

their hand if an uninvited stranger had ever jerked off at them.

And every woman in the room, including me, raised their hand.

It didn't surprise me at all, but Nick was stunned. He could not believe this

was something we had all experienced.

And it was Nick's reaction that...

earnest shock and so many men's reaction when Me Too took hold that made me

realize that the reason men were stunned to learn about the female experience

was because they've never needed to know the female experience.

Women know everything about being male because we've always had to see the

through a male lens in order to survive, to get jobs, to succeed, to exist.

And it was that realization that brought me to this.

As a white person, I have only had to see the world through the lens of the

white experience.

People of color, in addition to their own perspective, have had to see the

through the lens of white people their whole lives in order to survive, to get

jobs, to succeed, to exist.

I've never had to see the world through the black experience, though as a

liberal, I was sure that I had.

There was an episode of my old show, the Sarah Silverman program, that... Oh, my

God.

Thank you for looking at the applause sign.

Anyway, I had a moment on my old show where I could not see past the scope of

liberal white lens.

And look, comedy isn't evergreen. It gets old or trite or irrelevant as fast

the changing times.

Obviously, except for Garfield. I mean, come on.

The way that cat at once loves lasagna and hates Mondays.

It's shameless.

It's timeless.

And look, there's stuff I did on the Sarah Silverman program that I love. I

loved playing this arrogant, ignorant asshole.

But then there's stuff that I did on there that, you know, I cringe at. And

thing in particular is, to call it problematic, would be too kind.

Okay, I'll just rip the Band -Aid off right now and say it. I did an episode

where I wore a black face.

The context was, well, irrelevant because it's not okay to do blackface,

But slash and, there is irony because in this episode, I played an ignorant

woman in a liberal bubble who thought she was illuminating racism by wearing

blackface. What I didn't realize then is that in reality, I was an ignorant

woman in a liberal bubble who thought I was illuminating racism by wearing

blackface.

I mean, good grief. That is some real liberal bubble shit. We know it's wrong,

so we can do it.

I've been disgusted by it for a long time now, and I am so sorry to anyone

saw it and was cut by it. I feel immense remorse. And this is not some

disingenuous bullshit. This is not damage control. I was not caught.

I mean, this was on television. It had to go through many filters, which in

itself is proof that...

You know, we need to diversify our filters.

And that's not to say that people of color should be in positions of power

to correct white people's worst instincts. You know, I mean, it has to

to realize when I've contributed to a history of the degradation of an entire

race of people.

Am I the right person for that job? I don't know. I mean, I did list it under

other skills.

I am sorry that I did this. I hate that I did it. I fucking wish more than

anything that I could delete it out of existence.

But I can't. I can only be changed by it and then make it right the best I can

in any way that I can forever, for the rest of my life, going forward.

And with that in mind, to help me break down why blackface is...

super shitty and never okay, here is my friend Don Cheadle. Oh, Don.

Okay.

Black faith originated in 19th century... Oh, man. You know what?

This is it. You're doing it. You're doing exactly what you said not to do.

What? You're asking a black person to explain to white people why black faith

bad. I mean, just, like, fucking Google it, okay?

Read one fucking think piece or something, Sarah. I mean, it's not my

educate ignorant white people. It's my job to be the best actor in America and

quite possibly the world.

I loved you in Miles Ahead.

And, of course, you're right. I fucked up.

God. You know what? And I have a fix, and you're going to love this, actually.

Ladies and gentlemen, here to explain the historical context of blackface is a

very white person, Jack McBrayer.

Blackface originated in 19th century Minnesota.

Creating a belittling and demeaning caricature of black people. Whoa, whoa,

whoa, stop, stop. Thank you so much.

That did not feel right at all.

My tummy is all knotted up like a ball of rubber bands.

So you got a less talented white person recasting as me?

Well, we do different things.

Fuck! You're right, Don.

Jesus, twat, bitch, fuck. Oh, wait, no, no, no, no.

Relax, okay? Maybe we just make a commitment to do better.

Yeah, okay.

We'll just make a commitment to do better. Right, in general. Let's all

All right, I have to throw to... You want to throw to commercial?

Just look into the camera and read the prompter.

Oh. All right, that's fine.

If you know anything about me, you know I'm a horny liberal Jewish woman on the

hunt for some mean peen with balls in between.

After the break, I go on a date with a conservative Republican, so stick

If there's one thing I love, it's those unlikely animal friendship videos.

You know, like when a German shepherd and a tortoise are best friends?

I could watch that shit all day long. Why do I bring this up?

Because I made my own unlikely animal friendship video. I went on a date with

Republican. Check it out.

I am on a quest to become more open -minded, and what better way to test

than to go on a date with a Republican?

Fuck it. Ring on the conservatives. We'll see if sparks fly.

And before you say that that's impossible, remember I have had multiple

dreams about Mike Pence.

So to get started, I met with CC matchmaker Susan Trombetti to help me

someone to fuck.

To help me find someone to date. What is like the number one predictor of a

successful relationship? Would it be like a compatible worldview or would it

more like a compatible penis to vagina depth ratio?

It's that spark, but it's also communication, being able to resolve

differences. With a conservative.

I'm so bad at etiquette. Like, on the first date, who should pay for the

abortion? That would be you.

Have you found that it's been harder to fix up Republicans since this election?

It is tougher sometimes to match, but I always go back and say, be open -minded,

right? Yeah, I like dating someone who's different from me. I used to date the

man show guy.

But I am really disgusted by so many Republicans, but at the same time, it

me sex dreams about them.

Okay. I picture Mike Pence coming a lot. I think that probably he would still

have his socks and shoes on. Yeah.

So what are you looking for in a match? Someone in my age range, but can still

get a rock -hard boner.

Got you.

Someone who, like, if I go, oh, can you pinch me right here, it's so tight,

doesn't have an existential crisis, like, How long do I have to do it? Five

minutes? One minute? Ten minutes?

Just do it. It just hurts.

Pinch it for a second.

Okay. Alrighty.

Loves what he does, and whatever he does, he's great at it.

Not too much to ask for, right? You know, just like a loving lover.

Well, we sorted through a bunch of single Republican men and finally found

best of the horrible.

So this is... Doug High.

He's 46.

He's never been married. He did PR for tobacco firms, and he identifies as a

conservative Republican.

And I think you're going to have a fabulous time with him.

Okay. All right, I found my guy. This is going to be weird, but I'm here to

prove that I can connect on some level to anyone.

I'm going to slip into something a little less comfortable and head to

I'm scared.

This is how a woman speaks.

I'm a grown woman. Hi.

Sarah, hello.

Hi, Doug. Nice to see you. I brought you some chocolate.

I've absolutely dated liberals before. In Washington, D .C., as a Republican,

we're outnumbered nine to one. You don't have much of a choice.

Thank you for having a date with me. This is exciting.

The best thing that could happen for me is not embarrassing myself, which is

obviously my number one fear. Welcome to Washington.

Thank you.

Is this your first date with a commie libtard?

No. Like, not like I have a gay cousin liberal, like I knitted my own pussy hat

for the Women's March liberal.

No, I mean actually participated in the march.

Really? So now you like that. Okay.

Am I your first Jew?

No. Are you Jewish?

No, I'm Catholic. So that's a whole other conversation as well. Your last

is Hai.

Yeah, it's German.

Oh. Oh.

I more respond to the French part of me than the German part of me. It's a bit

half and half, so it's not that great of a story, though. Not all my stories are

great. We're going to edit this, and I'm going to look incredible.

I'm sure.

You look incredible anyways.

I'm a little bloated.

Tell me everything about you that you think I would hate.

I'd start with I'm a Republican.

Right, okay. And I would consider myself a conservative Republican.

Keep going.

I am as pro -tobacco as you can be.

Do you smoke?

No. Cigars occasionally.

Gross.

Are you a Trump person?

I didn't vote for Donald Trump.

I wrote in Paul Ryan. You wrote in Paul Ryan? I did.

Were you picturing him in his workout outfit? I definitely was not doing that.

No. No.

Look at this. Metal straw. I know. Well, we can't have plastic straws anymore,

right? That's right.

How do you feel about that?

I am pro -plastic straw. It's killing birds and turtles.

I don't believe that.

You don't believe it, or it's inconvenient for you to believe? No, I

you just don't care? It's a burning turtle. This will surprise you. I

do believe in climate change. But I don't think that what's going to ruin

environment and turn us all into just eating soylent green is going to be the

plastic straw. How do you like the metal straw, though?

It's a good functional straw. It seems that it's probably going to be

You can't twirl it up and then snap it. Oh, yeah, twirling it. Yeah, that was

good fun.

Yeah, right.

So I've got to ask.

Kids, do you prefer them caged or free range?

Well, I prefer them with their parents, although I think that they should be

able to play outside without their parents watching them, you know,

which is a whole thing of where parents are now being... Helicopter parents.

Well, exactly.

When we were kids, we used to take our bikes, go out. No helmet. No helmet, no

phone, no way to track us. We'd come back when it was pitch black out. And it

was fantastic.

The best. Yeah.

So clearly you are against them being separated at the border. It's a travesty

what has happened.

Yeah. How do you support that?

Well, I don't. It's a crime against humanity. I'd like to see everyone

go to jail.

I've obviously got a lot of issues and problems with things this administration

has done. What are your problems with it?

So mostly it comes down to temperament and the troubling signals to me that...

You know, he sends to our allies, to minorities, obviously.

He's an insane narcissist and a giant douchebag.

One of the things I've learned over the past couple years is how hard it is for

Republicans to speak their mind fully when it comes to Trump. What they will

tell me privately, these are members of Congress or senators, is very different

than what they'll say publicly.

How do you think the date is going so far?

I'm pretty excited.

I'm going to have one more bite of this because it's fantastic.

Thank you.

You're living rent -free in my mind like a motherfucker.

I don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but how would you feel about me taking

the Plan B pill tomorrow?

Well, obviously current law allows that for you to be your choice. I'm pro

-life. Even if it's, like, not even a thing yet. I'm Catholic.

That's a whole other conversation that we should probably avoid right now.

Avoid? Are you kidding?

I love Catholics. I'm sexting with a priest right now, a Jesuit priest.

That's what you've been doing on your phone?

No. You haven't paid any attention to anything I've said. I have not had my

phone out. It's been all about you the whole time.

Oh, my God, you can cut the sexual tension in this room with a knife.

Let's get out of here. Okay, let's do it.

Well, that was fun.

Am I going to marry him? No, but would I take him back to my hotel and have hate

sex? Already did.

I had a good time. I had a great time. Next time I'll cook.

Okay. Really the only thing that surprised me about Sarah, because I've

seen her do stand -up and do the shows, what a great listener she is. I actually

wanted to hear the other side, which so often we have so many angry voices, a

lot of times people don't stop and listen. I'm going to kiss the side of

cheek. Okay.

So, yeah, all in all, it was a good night. God bless America.

Bye.

went to prison in 1991. He served 19 years for his crime and dedicated his

to criminal justice reform.

He's also the author of a best -selling book, I mean, according to the failing

New York Times.

Please welcome Shaka Senghor.

For those who don't know your story, you

served 20 years in prison. How did that happen?

So I grew up in the city of Detroit.

broken household, ran away when I was 14, got caught up in the drug culture.

Age of 17, I got shot multiple times.

16 months later, I got into a similar conflict, shot and tragically caused a

man's death and was subsequently sentenced to 17 to 40 years in prison,

served a total of 19, seven in solitary confinement.

Seven years in solitary confinement. I can't imagine.

How do you survive that?

I mean, I was really fortunate to be one of the few that actually was literate.

I had incredible mentors inside who gave me books, and those books led to me

being able to journal, meditate, and kind of structure my days like I was at

university.

Unfortunately, a large segment of that environment was dealing with mental

illness, so it was very distracting to try to study in that environment, but I

was fortunate to be able to have the literacy to get through it.

You went into prison as one person and came out of prison.

Another person like how did that metamorphosis take place?

I received a letter from the victims Godmother who actually raised him you

her letter of forgiveness really?

Allowed me to begin a process like what led to that moment like I didn't wake up

I didn't grow up thinking one that I would end up taking somebody's life. I

wanted to be a doctor growing up But it was circumstances the PTSD as I got shot

that and it's not an excuse. It's an explanation I want to be very clear

that

But when you grow up in an environment with high levels of gun violence, it's

emotional reaction to that type of stimulus.

And so when I got that letter of forgiveness, I wasn't quite prepared.

But eventually, emotionally, I got to a space where I was able to say, if she's

extended this gift to me, I have to open up my heart to receive it.

You've said that you feel like you're still serving time in a way.

What does that mean to you?

I mean, we live in a very punitive, unforgiving society.

Sadly, we have over 2 million people who are incarcerated.

We have probably 10 million people who have actual felonies, and there are so

many impediments to employment. There's impediments to housing.

You know, our responsibility as a society is to ensure that they have the

necessary for them to return healthy and whole instead of allowing them to

return to a society that won't give them opportunities, and then we act shocked

when they end up going back.

And so, you know, there's those barriers. But then there's the nuanced

was gone for 20 years.

When I went to prison, there was no Internet.

So it's literally like Fred Flintstone walking into an episode of The Jetsons.

Oh, my God.

Now you run an organization called ARC. Tell me about it.

Yes, so I'm the executive director of Anti -Recidivism Coalition, and we have

the most well -rounded reentry model in the country, if not in the world.

We really recognize that there's a great need in this country to begin to

prepare men and women for coming home while they're incarcerated.

And so we have in -reach programs.

We have vocational training. We have life coaches. We have therapy. And it's

incredible. My staff is 60 percent formerly incarcerated.

We have a national 60 to 70 percent recidivism rate, which means 60 to 70

percent of people are likely to go back.

At ARC, we have less than 10 percent.

And thank you.

And it's in California.

Absolutely, yes. Downtown on the road.

Definitely come down.

I'm going to come. Can I come visit? Just go inside the prison with me. I

love to do that. I mean, is that the right way to say that? I mean, you're

rolling with me, so it's all good.

It's all good.

How do you connect with people who seem

beyond hope?

With the work that I'm able to do, it's always thinking about... Who was that

child? You know, when I went to prison, I was a kid and I was a smart kid. I was

an honor roll scholarship student with all the potential in the world.

And, you know, I ended up on the streets because I was in an abusive

environment.

And nobody ever really reached out to that kid and said, you know, this

shouldn't happen to you. And so the streets end up swallowing up, which

to a lot of kids.

Even when I got shot.

Like no one offered a hug. No one said this shouldn't happen. No one offered

therapy as an option.

And so for me, you know, the work that I do is rooted in protecting that that

kid. And hopefully if we can start thinking about the kid and each other,

create a better world.

You know, you're incredible, by the way, and I just want to like.

Hug that 14 -year -old boy and beat a whole bunch of people up for you. I

appreciate that.

You're working on a one -man show, right?

Yeah, I'm actually working on a couple of pieces. So I have a play coming out

called The Cell, and then I'm working on a one -man show about my life after

prison. I have title pitches.

Let's do it.

Okay.

There's the...

Shaka Shank Redemption.

I mean, that's so good.

Shaka Shank Redemption.

And then, like, Shaka Con, Shaka X -Con.

I don't need any credit.

You didn't have that.

That's the best one. I like that. I like that. I rock with that.

I'm taking that and run with it. It's all good.

If you had one central message you want to say, like, what would you say?

So my central message is that people are redeemable and that we should stop

throwing people away as if they are disposable.

And no one should be defined by their worst moment or their worst deed.

We live in a world where the reality is we all have had a moment that we're not

proud of.

And you shouldn't be held hostage, you know, to that moment. You know, you

should be given an opportunity to redeem yourself and to atone for whatever it

is that you feel you've done that was hurtful or harmful.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much to Shaka Senghor.

Shaka Senghor, everybody, and thank you to Don Ketel and Dagny Frere.

Well, that about wraps it up.

If you're watching this on the toilet, remember to wipe front to back always.

I mean, if you're a guy, I don't know.

You still wipe front to back. I don't know where your front starts, to be

honest. Is it the back of the balls? Is it the front of the balls? I don't know.

Anyway, good night, America. I love you.