All language subtitles for This is Not a Murder Mystery s01e05 The Gift

Why did Sheila Lager leave everything to
Dali instead of her only living

relative, Lord Jane?

Are you sure?

Poor Sheila had to go and leave him all
her money. This candle will multiply the

value of the artwork exponentially.

It's such a lot of work for one person.

Just?

Mrs.

McGreek came face to face with our
clearly deranged murderer.

Stay your dog, Maynette!

Did you notice something strange in him?

They all did us right.

Sir? You called DC Quad?

Yeah. Do you know the organ inn,
Constable Sutcliffe?

It's the only pub in the village.

Right. Go knock down there and check for
the DCIF, please.

Yes, sir. Ma 'am.

Oh, and, Constable, be discreet. Use the
back roads.

DC Quant.

Superintendent Coney.

Sir? Pass me on to your DCI.

We can't seem to find him, sir.

What do you mean, DC?

He told me last night that he was going
to the pub, but he hasn't returned.

Doesn't sound like him.

Sir, two people have been killed here in
very theatrical ways.

This killer craves attention.

And now the DCI has gone missing.

I have a bad feeling, sir.

Right.

I'm sending reinforcements. Make sure
the estate stays firmly locked and keep

the press out.

We don't need bad publicity.

A good result here, DC. We'll put your
position at the yard in good stead.

I just want to find him.

Then do exactly that, all right?

I will, sir.

I'll be supervising, DC.

We'll talk later.

Oh, God.

Zone one, manor house, including service
quarters and terrace.

Zone two, lawns and park.

Zone three, woods and perimeter.

Zone four, lake. I'll take one.

Peterson, two.

Three, Davis.

Henderson, four.

Okay? Yes.

Debrief at noon.

Anything comes up, talk to me at once.
Understood?

Yes. And there's a killer on the loose.

So eyes peeled at all times.

Okay?

Let's go, men!

What's up?

Come on, give me a hand.

What's

going

on? I don't know, but I don't like it.

Hang on. Is everyone here?

All the important ones are.

Big day.

What do you mean, girl?

Well, two people got killed, right?

And now there is police everywhere.

Who's that?

Another death for me? My God.

I cannot take it anymore.

Who's meeting then?

Where is Lee?

Relax. I'm not going anywhere.

That's the problem.

They're looking for something?

Or someone?

Who?

You do know this is the big day, don't
you, detective?

Yes, my lord, but... Some of the world's
richest and most influential people are

on their way at this very moment.

Do you understand how important this is?
Yes, but... I had asked your boss to

get this over with by this morning at
the latest.

And now I watch on as a small army
invades my state.

We can't find him, my lord. That's the
problem exactly.

Not the killer.

Not just yet.

I mean... My superior.

It seems the DCI can't be found, my
lord.

Oh, good lord. We're looking for him.

This thing needs to be sorted by 4 p .m.
sharp.

Got it? Yeah, I'll do my best, my lord.
Forget your best. Do what's necessary.

Good luck, detective.

Let's stay calm and be strong together.

Well said. We're all just excited for
the big night.

The sunrise will probably be all rich.

Sighted. Not now, man.

Please. Have a sense of decorum.

What?

What?

Sorry. Do you have a minute?

Is it important, McGree?

I went to my agent's suitcase.

Found an English phone number on the
brochure of one of my first paintings,

Lovers. The one that was at the first
murder scene, right?

Did you ring the number? So I did.

Somebody picked up, but nobody answered.
So I identified the number.

It's the lobster phone in Moncton Harps.
So? So I'm thinking, if ELT had contact

with someone over here, this might be a
connection to the killer, right?

Wait, are you saying that your agent is
the killer's assistant?

Intentionally, maybe, yeah.

All right, I'll deal with it.

But I have to deal with this first. I've
a lot to deal with.

DC -1.

What? Am I right in saying the DCI are
coming?

Is it that obvious?

Don't tell anyone. Agree. Please. My
nerves are stretched as it is.

Well, this is definitely not the DTI.

No. So then, who is this? I don't know.

It looks like it's been in the water for
a while.

Bring the remains back down to the
cellar and ask Dr. Fine to check the

records.

Continue the search.

Search harder.

Shouldn't we, I mean you, tell the
group?

Come on then.

You might have noticed some activity
around the estate.

Are you kidding me?

Let her speak, ma 'am.

I just wanted to let you know that we
have everything under control. Who's

missing then?

We can't locate DCI Thistlethwaite.

What?

So the man who's solving these killings
got killed?

No, I didn't say he got killed. We just
can't locate him right now. Yeah, but

you don't know?

He hasn't been killed.

Okay, let's not panic.

I mean, DCI Thistlethwaite is not a
young man anymore.

He probably just had a fall, okay?

We will find him. Oh, René Magritte,
Belgian detective.

Just what we need right now.

She's right.

Shouldn't we leave detective work to the
actual detectives? There's certainly

still enough of them about.

Scotland Yard is still the only
authority on site.

And you're still being watched.

Remember that.

Jesus, do you still think that we're the
murderers? I don't... Not necessarily.

I just don't want them to become the
victims.

I understand you've been very afraid
during this time.

You're right.

I'm afraid.

Mortally.

I'm petrified.

I see burning stones. There, at the
window.

Take a deep breath. I don't feel well. I

need space.

I need space.

Whoa.

That was a lot of melodrama.

Even for him.

It's easy to panic if you've got
something to hide and the walls are

I don't trust anyone anymore.

Except for you.

Hold on, my friend.

I am not your friend, Magritte.

And they're right.

You are not the police.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

Why don't you go talk to your wife?

She seems like the only normal one out
of the lot for you.

What are you doing, amor?

First of all, don't call me amor.

And second of all, I am leaving.

That's what I'm doing.

When you can't, there is the police
everywhere and the gates are locked.

I don't care.

I don't care, Gala. The man who is
supposed to sort out this mess went

This is no place for a reasonable person
to stay.

There is not a single reasonable person
here, let alone you.

I've had enough.

I'm not staying here one more minute.

Let me come with you.

Don't forget it.

I never want to see you again.

Why can't you act normal for once?

Sir, sir, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no,

no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

Sir,

what's your name anyway?

Salvador Dali.

Are you supposed to be famous?

Why do you even ask?

Shut up!

Shut up, all of you!

My friends are dying.

You're here like...

Like vultures.

Shame on you.

Shame on you. You have no respect at
all. How many courses? Who? Give us a

of gory detail.

Look at him go.

That's a true performer.

A brilliant artist.

I promise you I can sell that date and
make it carry.

Please take a picture. Take a picture.
We can be all rich. Not bad.

Where's Gala? Someone go get her.

My love, come down, please.

Let me be.

All of you.

Let him be.

All of you.

I can't take it anymore.

Get him the hell down, Manny, now.

Hey, Val.

It's okay.

Mr. Dolly, are you ready for a full
statement?

There are police everywhere on the
state.

The main detective went missing.

Two of my friends are dead.

I'm not

naive,

René. I know very well what you're
saying.

You know, the little Georgette, the
little bourgeoisie who makes her

home. Oh, my love, you're not right.

Wait, but I know who I am. It's like
that. And I like to make my little

biscuits.

But I follow my principles and I'm not
going to condemn an artist on the simple

basis of an intuition, you see. The
simple basis of an intuition?

Yes, an intuition. An intuition. It was
introduced in my workshop, you saw it.

He then scattered the photo of my
painting, which was used to build a

theatrical crime, of which I am the
protagonist.

So I have the impression that it's a
little more than an intuition.

Well, prove it then.

What's in the suitcase, Mr. Detective,
huh?

Crudity, this toilet article, a large
number of clothes, not even more.

Yes. May I have a moment, my lord?

Is this about the Dali situation?

Only gatekeeper called me. It's sorted.

Right. It just seems to me that Mr. Dali
has made quite a spectacle of himself.

Perhaps it's best I make a statement.

Well, Dali is who he is.

You don't want me to handle it, my lord?

There are police at my estate right now.
I think they can handle whatever needs

handling. Actually, I think we can use
the free promo.

You know what?

Promoise is a thing that made people buy
stuff.

I'm sure my lord thinks differently,
sir.

It's all right, Dukes.

Of course it is.

You can go now, Dukes.

Thank you, Duke.

Let's talk proper business.

This is insane. I'm being treated like a
criminal.

Get your hands off me.

I hate cops. I'm alert.

Welcome home, amor.

Please, not her.

But she's your wife, sir.

Can you lock me up in the basement?

No, I'm under strict orders, sir.

Don't worry, he'll survive.

Trust me, I won't.

Question is, will I?

Sorry, ma 'am.

Don't worry, boy. I'm on the jockey.

You've been off on. Go find your boat.

Or the killer.

And be a dear. Look us up.

Sure, ma 'am.

Hey.

I'm stuck in here with a monster.

My own private hell.

Meet your Satan, querido.

You all right, Doctor?

My apologies.

You know who this is?

This body has clearly been in the water
for years now.

You have a name for her?

If his teeth match his dental record,
this would be Tobias George James, the

12th Lord Denver.

May he rest in peace, finally.

Lord James' older brother?

The gold teeth he definitely had.

Too fond of good Belgian chocolate was
our Lord Denver.

Didn't he kill himself years ago?

That was indeed the conclusion of the
case, yes.

There is some confusion about that
night.

Excessive alcohol.

Some simple souls in the village believe
he lives on as a ghost.

You get that kind of hogwash around
here, I'm afraid.

But suicide was, um, is plausible.

Oh, yes.

It was a tragedy waiting to happen.

Not if, but when.

We all agreed on that score.

What was his story?

Well, Tobias came back from the Great
War.

Couldn't cope with the peace.

Shell shot.

Then he lost a lot of the family fortune
in the Wall Street crash.

We'll wait for the lab results, but it
looks like him, you'd say.

Not as I knew him.

But, yes, I'd say so.

Could you... Could you tell Lord James,
please?

Of course.

My sister should know.

Thank you.

I hope this all is all right.

Thank you.

Yeah, me too.

Do you think the inspector believed us
yesterday?

Yes, I think so.

Why delay the search?

For protection, I guess.

Protect who?

Us, you, me, Inspector Coins, the
gendarmes, the invigilators.

But it's not the kind to let anything
happen.

Indeed.

I think he came back to investigate in
the evening.

And would he be attacked here?

I don't know.

What is certain is that...

The murderer passed by here.

Maybe he or she erased traces and he or
she fell in love with the inspector.

I don't know.

I'm going to look.

Do you still love me?

Yes.

Why are you asking me that?

I don't know. Sorry.

It was a weird, intense day.

Did you notice that you didn't wear
bracelets anymore?

Oh, no, it's just that when Fermat was
broke, I brought the jewellery to

Brussels.

That's why you're making that face.

You know I love you.

I love you too.

Come on.

Well, I'm looking.

What are we looking for, actually?

I don't know.

Always liked those earrings.

Where'd you go?

I was working.

Death and despair inspire you?

It's funny how women are always
attracted to the dark side.

And they act all surprised when they see
the actual darkness.

What do you think this is, huh?

A joke?

You think I'm fake?

Oh, calm down, Manny.

I am calm, and I need you calm. How many
of those have you had?

Just the two, I think.

You're not yourself.

Am I not, my man?

I need you, Natalie. Please cut the
crap. Look at me. It's me. I need you.

you? Yeah.

And this is important.

What is it that you need?

There's something I need to tell you,
and it might come as a shot.

Is this your painting?

Yeah.

I brought it back with me from Brussels
for the big show on Friday.

Where was this?

You know that clearing in the woods?

And he was there last night?

Maybe he dropped it to your mother's
spot.

Could work in a career.

Oh, no, no, it's Georgette from it. Oh.

Thank you.

I'll go have a look now.

You coming?

So this is how it's going to be?

Yes.

Today. The day we have been waiting for
years and years.

The day of our final breakthrough.

Here.

One.

What are you doing?

Line.

Border. Cross it.

And you'll see.

Childish. You are a child.

This is not working.

You done right. You did them.

I have one last proposal.

You hate me.

I can't do anything about that.

But we do have a shared interest.

Salvador Dali.

The product.

Our goal is to make you the greatest
artist in the world.

You make the art.

I find money.

Inspire you.

And manage the image and sales.

It's always been like this.

And it works perfectly.

Behind the scenes, you can hate me all
you want. And vice versa.

But once, outside the room, we are the
gold and the lead.

We sell love.

Exactly.

It's a stupid idea.

Think about it.

People love us, want to be with us.
We... we sell.

Take your time, partner.

And in the meantime...

We won't cross the red line.

And no fucking.

Deal?

Deal.

Can we fuck other people?

Perdona, I don't know the rules. I'm
just asking.

I'm just asking.

Is my brother safe?

Chances are, it is.

Are you sure?

Well, not 100 % certain, but...

All right.

I'll have Duke prepare the family crypt.

Should we...

Await confirmation.

More autopsies.

Why? His life ended in despair.

Whatever the specifics of it, I'd prefer
not to know.

Let him rest.

I've had this weird feeling all day.

Do you sense?

That we might never see him again.

the killer.

I'm alone, my friend.

Not you two.

Detective.

Chief Inspector John Thistlethwaite.

Deceased in the line of duty.

Bad things come in three.

I liked her.

A lot.

Pray to unknown gods.

Eleven deep cuts in a straight line.

They're not exactly cuts, are they?

More like deep holes hammered into a
spine.

What kind of sick person does this?

Look ritualistic.

Or some sort of sick art.

I mean, it's definitely in the style of
the other two murders.

This was the 365th case of his career.

Can you imagine investigating your own
death loss?

It was under my nose the whole time.

Sorry? Detective, he was planning all of
this.

He wasn't even hiding it.

Fucking bastard.

You three, take the surroundings.

You four, follow me.

Look out for an iron with 11 9 -inch
nails folded to the bottom. I've seen it

his workshop, and it's very likely it's
our murder weapon.

The man we are looking for is Man Ray.

Do not make a move.

No, no, no, no, no. Those nails, they're
not even mine. Put your tool down and

get your hands behind your back.

Are you insane, detective?

I'm at work.

Man Ray, I'm placing you under arrest
for the kidnapping and murder of

Chief Inspector John Thistlethwaite, the
murder of Miss Sheila Legger, as well

as the torture and murder of Nash
Wesley.

Take him to London, please, straight
away. No.

Oh, I... I'm innocent, huh?

Nonsense, Detective.

I'm innocent.

Get your hands off of me, huh?

You sure about this?

Yes.

All right.

There's one more person I need to speak
to.

I know.

You want to come with me?

Are you sure?

I thought you didn't need my help. I
don't.

You've got a good eye.

Does that mean that we're friends now?

Don't question it.

I guess man won't be back for dinner.

For the murder of the DCI lion, he'll
never get out of jail.

What about the other murders?

We suspect them of all three.

Is there anything you'd like to share
with us?

What is there left to say when the
detective has made up her mind?

I'm just trying to help, Lee.

A man did tell me a secret earlier
today.

It felt more like a confession.

Do you know, uh, Sheila?

Miss, like, Welch's?

I know Miss, like, all too well. She's
been a guest here so often.

Right here in this house, assisted by
Dr. Fine, she delivered her baby.

So, Seb, what happened to little
Sebastian, my son, in Spain?

And Seb was a nightmare birth.

Although, could go wrong, Dave, but she
was braver than a lioness.

Yeah, she was that, and a single mama,
no?

I'm sorry, what do you mean, sir?

Of course the father was present.

Who are you talking about?

Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure, sir.

Have I said something I shouldn't?

No, I'm kidding.

I bet God could have used him like that.
He realized that Sheila was using him.

Whether for attention or something else.

Nash, too, probably.

Bloodsuckers.

He wanted to be sure before telling me.

It felt like he needed to get it off his
chest.

Badly.

Thank you.

So, how are you going to present the
case?

Murder three.

DCI Thistle Fleet.

Man got caught with a murder weapon.

Motive, the DCI got too close.

Murder two, Nash, shot with a salt
bullet from Lee Miller's gun. He had

to the murder weapon at all times.

Motive, man wanted Nash dead because
Nash was the father of Seth and man

thought that was him.

Murder one, Shiva Lager, strangulation.

Motive, jealousy.

He was angry for the same reason. She
made him believe he was a father. He

couldn't handle it.

All of this, plus a tendency towards
violence and an obsession with death and

gore in his work.

Yeah, I mean, it's plausible.

I sense your doubt.

No, no doubt.

It does make sense.

But as a surrealist, maybe the scent is
a part of me. Well, you've helped me

quite a lot for us surrealists. Trust
me, you crushed his case.

Now go get your reward.

I don't really care about rewards.

C 'est bien.

Only fools care for rewards.

Just get it over with.

Merci, detective.

Thank you, my friend.

There she is.

Superintendent Coney, my lord.

Man Ray, American artist.

Well, American killer, as it turns out.

Fine work, D .C. Quint.

Such a dreadful pity about
Thistlethwaite.

One of our finest.

Slain in the line of duty.

A poor man.

What a bastard this case has been.

I wish the DCI never came close to this
madman.

Man Ray will rot in prison for life,
Quant.

If that's any consolation.

Yes, sir.

We can lift the lockdown whilst we're at
it. At last. This estate needs a breath

of fresh air.

Send the men home.

You stay here to tidy everything up.
Write up reports and the like.

Make everything textbook for our
American cousins.

Yes, sir.

And you can tell everyone to address you
as DCI Quant.

Congratulations, DCI. A fast promotion.

Sir. You don't sound too pleased.

No. Very. Thank you, sir.

The case is closed, DCI Quant. Full
stop.

Congrats on all that.

Rejoice, we will.

Thank you for stopping by Michael.

Anytime.

We're finally celebrating.

Aren't we?

Plenty of reasons to.

Everything is ready for the exhibition.

This might turn out to be one of the
biggest moments in modern art history.

To you, my lord.

To art.

And the fortune is about to make it.

May I have your attention, please?

My dear friends, after all that has
happened in the last few days, tonight

become world famous.

What did all happen?

Who tells his life about a strange,
chaotic game? But let us, this fine

never forget what happened here, who we
are, and what we were.

For all the rest of time, and never less
than the day of yesterday, a collection

of friends.

I give my love to all of you.

And now, raise your glass with me,
please.

Let's go up there.

Let's go up there.

And let's grab the world.

Por los putos cojones.

Say it with me. Come on.

Let's grab the world.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Not a fishy word. All the ice, two
slices of lemon.

Mr. Picasso.

Doctor, are we having good fortune
tonight?

Oh, what a wealthy people around here.

Interested in the world.

Some ladies are interested in it, too.

Oh, Sally, my boy, come here and give me
a hug.

My sweet baby.

Now, you tell me before you tell them
what should I buy.

Peggy, you are the richest woman in the
world.

Oh, you think so? Yeah, you are. You can
buy anything you want, surely.

Nancy, darling.

My friend Salvador here thinks I'm the
highest roller in the building. How cute

of him.

Meet Nancy Cunard, the heir and co
-owner of Cunard White Star Line.

And she's the real deal.

Peggy, you're so bourgeois. Who cares?

My pleasure.

Either way, my ladies, I think you
should buy all of it. You know what they

Oh, you don't know?

Buy more, darling.

Make more money.

Oh,

he is such a cutie.

He is.

Steven, please, wait, listen to me.
You'll get your little thumbs of money

Monday, I swear.

I don't think so, mate.

It's a very important night for us. Come
on, don't do this to me, my friend.

Sorry, mate.

Take it up with the boss.

Frogs cracking jokes.

Normally the Germans can be more crude.

Oh, MJ, you can really be a bank.

Hey, Rennie, Rennie.

May I present to you René Magritte, the
painter's painter.

Not to mention the collector's aunt and
his beautiful wife, Georgette Magritte.

Enchanté. Word is, your lord ain't
paying anyone around here.

Might be time for you to look for a new
job. You are on the estate of Lord James

and you will obey me.

All right.

But you've got a stinking attitude, my
friend.

You get into that van.

And you will never walk here again!

Stephen!

Please!

Bastard!

Christ!

The caterer brought the wrong vintage of
Bollinger.

What a complete idiot.

We'll have to go into the Lord's private
champagne cellar and take some of her

own stock.

Get the rest of the staff to follow me
downstairs immediately.

These are pretty talking, sir.

It looks like they've been here at least
a decade.

If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it.

Oh, sir.

What is it now?

You might want to come see this.

Stay away from there, man. That room is
off limits. The door was open, sir.

These are closed.

I need to speak to DC Quant immediately.

Get the rest of the stock upstairs, now!

Yes sir.

Oh my god.

How is that even possible?