All language subtitles for This is Not a Murder Mystery s01e04 The Phantom Lady

I've been talking to Sheila Legger's
lawyer.

She left three million pounds.

To who?

Mr. Salvador Dali.

Does this mean we're all suspects?

I lied about the death of an innocent
child.

I wanted a gold teeth to sell. Aren't
you paid?

There's one missing.

Man Ray is the father of Sheila's son. A
goddamn child with another woman. Who

are you? Mrs. Magritte.

E .L .T. I am Magritte's agent.

Your husband wakes up next to a corpse
after spending all night in bed with

Would you like the Binti to be eternal?

Yeah.

Write them to 940.

I'll take a look at this brochure and
tell me if there are any paintings

ever seen.

My love.

My love?

But how dare you?

Okay, it's because of what happened with
Sheila.

But obviously, René.

I didn't sleep with her, okay? I didn't
sleep with her. We put something in my

glass to give it the appearance, but
that's not the case. We only talked.

I fell asleep, I don't know how.

She was sad, she didn't stop crying, she
was depressed because she lost a child

a year ago. She needed to talk.

And you sacrificed yourself.

What a man!

Listen, I don't know what happened.

Okay?

I don't know.

But I won't stop thinking about it until
I have all the answers.

And I say all the answers.

Do you think I'm a murderer?

A liar or an infidel?

Listen, Georgette.

Two people are dead.

And I need you.

I need you to help me.

Can you look at me and tell me...
because there are paintings you've

seen.

I didn't go for this painting, René. I
don't even like you.

I'm working on this painting.

Very much.

Something weird happened.

I thought he was out of the house, but
he was actually taking pictures in your

studio.

Can I try?

Yes.

Are you going to say something?

I'm going to do it this time.

Morning. Morning, Jakes.

Oh, hello.

I beg your pardon, Mr.

Messings. Anything I can help you with,
sir?

Oh, yes, my friend.

You can get me some quality FaceTime
with the boss.

You may find that my boss is rather busy
today.

Is that so?

Archibald Dukes, I believe.

It is you, right?

Or not?

We had a show in my friend's art gallery
in Brussels some ten, maybe fifteen

years ago.

What gallery was that, Peter?

Paul Dirick's Fine Art Gallery in La
Marole.

Never heard of it. Sorry.

I'm not of your station. I'm only the
hired help.

I wouldn't claim to be an artist, but
thank you for thinking so highly of me.

I am the personal assistant of my Lord
James, and proudly so.

A proper job with meaningful duties.

And I've worked here a very long time,
sir.

I can hear your last two brain cells
crackling, Coppa.

I mean, so many people hide mascots.

Make it up with someone else.

Yeah. Now, please, call your boss.

This is the main place here in the
house, something that somebody's working

but please make sure you make yourselves
at home.

Sorry to interrupt, dearest guests.

May I introduce you to the new arrivals?

The lady, Georgette Magritte, and Mr...
Good morning.

My name is Edouard Leon Theodore Mason,
but please just call me E .L .T.

Bonjour, Edouard.

Howdy, Georgette. Oh, hi.

Finally, we get to hang out with the
Belgian missus. George something, was

Well,

I can see why you've been hiding her.

Yeah.

She's exactly 214 times too good for me.

At least.

Yes.

Finally, a breath of fresh air.

Why are they allowed in when we can go
out?

Would you fancy a drink?

Yes, thank you.

So, why is everybody so down?

Is it because of the dead bodies, or is
there too much booze and shaking going

on?

I'll join you in a jiffy.

In Brussels, we say... Jesus Christ.

Hey, I love your egg.

Penny for your thoughts, Quan.

Why did she, the legger, leave
everything to Dali instead of her only

relative, Lord James?

Especially if she's been living here
since the death of her child last

It's not like our lordship needs the
money.

She's supposed to be one of the richest
lords in the land, right?

But the estate doesn't seem to be well
maintained.

Hang on a second.

Jay Poots, remember?

Our butter boy?

Yeah. His alibi was solid, do you know
what it was?

A second job down the local pub.

Do you reckon she's not paying her
staff?

Poots said he badly needed money for
food.

Do you remember what you first said to
me?

On our first date together?

Refresh my memory.

Love, money or jealousy, Quant?

All crimes lead to at least one.

Not a bad impression.

Yeah, but you're right. And most of the
time, it's money.

We'll look into it.

You coming?

No, you go on ahead. There's something
else I want to check first.

What's that?

Legit.

Hello, operator. I'd like to place a
call to France, to the Société

Côte d 'Azur.

Yes, to Mr.

Turgenev.

Number is CAN 5123.

What do you mean, disconnected?

CAN 5123.

Try again.

You can

do

it.

OK.

The one that suits me when it suits me.
And you, you don't bother.

You stay out of all that.

It's the division of work according to
the talents. I thought you had already

sold these paintings to Lord James.

She will sell them to Sir Richard
tomorrow at the exhibition.

The value of your paintings will climb
in arrows.

It's times 50 or less.

And we, we pocket our 25%.

Ah oui, je m 'occupe de toi et mon ami.

On va se remettre plein la poche.

Tu me remercieras plus tard. D 'accord.

Je vais la rejoindre et m 'assurer que
personne ne merde.

On est bien?

Oh, I beg your pardon, Mrs. Magritte.
Was that you playing the Schubert?

Yes.

Truly beautiful.

Music has that unique power, doesn't it?

I won't lie to you, it touches me deeper
than what your husband and his

colleagues do.

Surrealism comes from the brain, but
music...

It comes from the soul.

If René is using his brain, it's only to
protect his heart.

Or is he just a curious sort?

I mean, you may have noticed he sunk his
teeth into this case like a hunting dog

into a defenseless pheasant.

Well, he thinks it's his duty to save
every poor soul, I'm afraid.

Where does that come from?

Ego?

Well...

When Rene was a child, his mother jumped
into the river.

She killed herself.

Okay.

His father was a tormented man.

He didn't know how to deal with his
grief.

He decided it was only his fault.

She didn't want me being so short.

When he was out playing fair, he came
back too late that evening to lock his

mother into her bedroom.

She had tried it before, you see.

And it's haunted him ever since.

As if a little boy should... Bear such
responsibility.

That's wrong.

And that's why you have now a man that
wants to solve the case at all costs.

Because in his mind, it's his fault.

He was supposed to watch over her, you
see.

And he didn't.

I appreciate you sharing all this,
Georgette.

Well... I know that people need a little
bit of help with the mystery name of

Marguerite sometimes.

It's not like he's helping us much with
his detecting or his painting.

Well, have a good day, Detective. And be
careful, please.

I will.

Neither.

Don't worry, my young lord. I'm also a
little distracted.

By everything that's happened?

Yeah. There is that, of course.

And also, I've been married, you know.

A quarrel with Sal.

You're too polite. I know rumors spread
quickly around here.

I may have heard something.

Is it always old?

What's that about he'll come around?

It's just acting very dramatic, even for
him.

Why?

I always handled the business side of
things much too impulsive, but now poor

Sheila had to go and leave him all her
money.

She certainly didn't do anyone any
favors with that.

Right. Oh, I'm rumbling.

Is everything set for tomorrow night?

Yes, all is splendid. Just need to
attend to the final details.

Good.

Magritte.

Sir.

I've been talking with your wife.

Then you're more successful than me.

Because I've been trying to talk to her
all morning, but I seem to have failed.

I owe you an apology for last night.

Yes?

I apologize.

And I accept it.

Listen, I get it.

Third thing is up, right?

See if I break under pressure.

Maybe. But you didn't. So well done.

Do you fancy joining me?

For what, sir?

Are you good with heights?

This is my proposal.

Use the present circumstances to drive
the prize of the art up even more.

Nothing sells like scandal, let alone
murder.

I think you should get the press
involved.

Make it all public.

It's not bad, my lord.

In fact, we should thank the murderer.

No?

There is perhaps something in what you
are suggesting, E .L .D.

My lord, I can assure you, this scandal
will multiply the value of the artwork

exponentially.

I get the picture.

Thank you.

Thank you, my lord.

I just don't understand how our killer
could have done all this right under our

noses. It's like we're dealing with a
ghost.

A bloody invisible one at that.

A strong one, too. A strong, invisible,
murderous ghost.

Quite.

I mean, you and Sheila were already half
in bed, and anyone can move a body

slightly. But Nash...

We're looking at someone with real
muscle. Are you sure you don't remember

anything? Being manhandled, picked up,
big hands, a smell, a wheezing breath?

No, no, nothing at all.

The killer could have had help.

It's a possibility.

What does your gut tell you?

that this is such a unique kind of
murder that it has to be a maniac who's

working along.

And it's such a lot of work for one
person.

He has to know this estate inside out
and how to get around it without being

spotted.

On the other hand, there are a lot of
couples here.

A lot of couples who lie for each other.

Well, that's what couples do.

How many couples would kill for each
other?

Would you kill for Georgette?

All right.

Yes, but only for her.

Look, thank you for all your help.

Why don't you go and make it up with
your wife now, if you can?

She's a treasure, that one.

I will.

Back to the grindstone.

I understand that you are Director
General of Babington Bank and that your

client has confidentiality, but with all
due respect, this is Scotland Yard and

there's a double homicide investigation
ongoing.

No?

And that's your final answer?

I will let my superior officers know.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I just don't understand how our killer
could have done all this right under our

noses.

Strong, visible, murderous ghost.

I bet I can beat you up to that tree
there.

Who's in?

Oh, you're wrong, girl.

No shoes.

Not you.

You'll see.

She runs like a fox.

No, I'm not a fast runner.

She runs like a fox, but she fucks like
a rabbit.

Come on, girl.

Ready?

Three,

two, one, go!

Oh, Foxy.

She does fuck like a rabbit.

It's really lovely.

Time away from it all.

You know, this is the first time I've
relaxed since I drove through those

a few days ago.

Well, there might be an actual killer
staring at us from the bush right now.

We should stop.

Shall we play a game?

What kind of game?

A sex game, I hope.

I'll jump anything that'll have me at
this point.

I'll pass, Carol.

But... I was thinking about the game.

Is your husband a killer?

You're all fun, aren't you?

No, babe.

Seriously?

Mine's a liar, a cheater, a madman, a
small child, and a crybaby.

But not a murderer.

No. Not saying so, too, no.

Neither is mine.

That's it?

Why are you even here, Magritte?

All good with you and Renee?

All good.

This idiot cheated on her for a chance
he got.

No offense.

Well, that's rich coming from you.

I cheat, yeah, it's true.

But can we call it cheating if Salva is
aware of it?

There is no betrayal.

For me, the betrayal isn't the sex, it's
the lies.

Well, I just don't know what to do.

I could already...

Fennel's sleeping away from me, so...
Leave him?

What? No.

Make him pay, but keep him.

He loves you, it's clear, and you love
him.

But first, fuck anyone you like to get
even.

How do you know I've been already even
to school?

Say again?

No.

You're one of us now, Georgina. Welcome
to the big girl club.

You might drag you in the wood. Be
careful, darling. Before you know it,

have a surreal baby in your belly.

Some feverish makeup sex, you reckon?

Up against a tree?

Oh, I would even do it with a tree.

What about a drink? You sure do.

Oh, yes.

Not here.

I could never hurt you.

Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. You don't
want to sit down?

No, I'm okay.

Every time I try to be romantic, my bad
side takes over and I ruin everything.

You never know how to ruin anything.

Come on.

I love you and I still love you.

Do you love me?

Yes.

I love you too.

What, here?

Faudra d 'abord que tu m 'attraves.

Want a move?

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

My love, who are you with?

Who are you with?

What's wrong?

I thought you were going to die.

Okay, no, no, no, no.

You're not going to die. I'm here.

Okay.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Let's go. Let's get out of
here.

Like a mask, but made of roses.

Yeah.

About 500 of them.

Very elaborate.

Did you get a sense of the face?

No. I couldn't really see it.

No. Imagine a sphere, but covered with
roses.

Like a football, but on top of a human
body. That makes sense.

I did.

Performance in London by our first
victim, only a few months ago.

Phantom Lady, she called it.

Can I see it?

Are you saying that you saw the ghost of
Sheila Legger?

What time exactly did this take place?

Half an hour ago.

All right.

Sir, it's a morbid prank, surely.

Oh, I believe that Mrs. McGreek came
face to face with our clearly deranged

murderer. I'm glad you live to tell the
tale. Would you be able to show me the

spot where you saw this odd figure?

Yes. Of course.

Yeah, I think it was here.

Okay, I will have the constables conduct
a search.

Detective Quant.

That won't be necessary.

Sir?

Yes, I mean, it's, uh... Well, it's
getting dark now.

There's no use to send the troops in at
this hour. We'll continue this tomorrow

morning.

If you think so, sir.

I don't want to keep Mr. McGreep from
his work.

And thank you both for your help.

No, not true, money.

Look who's here.

The millionaires.

Go on, hit me.

Here, too.

Stop it now, Sal. It's okay, money, it's
okay.

Hit me, hard and merciless, like you
are.

You've got completely nuts, finally.

Oh, I'm perfectly sane, woman.

When you hit me in the mouth, just like
you did by accepting Sheila's

inheritance behind my back, signing the
bloody will, touching that blood money,

Still then, I'll present my other chick.

Go on.

Hit me.

Till it bleeds. Stop it now.

No, you stop it! Oh, your child.

You're dead to me, Gala! Here comes the
Spanish drama.

What about you?

What about you?

Promiscuous racist bourgeois!

Money -minded snake!

You're a money -minded snake!

Any more insults for me?

Yes!

Plenty! I have plenty!

Not worth my breath.

Be gone.

Okay? Be gone.

Stay out of my life.

Stay out of my life!

Right. See you in the room later?

Don't tell anyone.

And if you do, make it a good story.

There you are.

Whiskey sour for Miss Miller?

Everything A -okay?

Never been better.

And that.

The logistics of it.

What do you think?

So, the killer caught Nash in a poppy
field, used the delivery van and got him

all the way on the roof via the
servant's entrance.

Yes.

And you believe he or she has appeared
in the clearing.

How would one get there without being
seen?

Good question.

I'm not quite sure about that yet.

But I might have a suspicion.

Still, impressive work, sir.

Thank you, Quant.

What about your money trail?

Almost there. Just have a few more
checks to do.

Keep it up. Take no prisoners now.

I shall retire to the local hostelry
where I will consume exactly five pints

foaming ale and think this all through.

We're close, Quant.

Downstairs tomorrow morning for
breakfast, 8 .30 sharp.

Good night and thank you.

Thank you too.

Good night, sir.

It looks wonderful.

Shame there's still one of the murder
rooms there.

Isn't it a...

Wonderful tribute to my da Vinci.

You know, I'm no sentimentalist,
Magritte, but this smells the ice

chip of my heart.

Sal did us right.

Good night, Magritte.

Hipling, are you all right? Of course
not.

Max, you are my oldest friend in this
net of vipers. You've got to help me.

Of course.

I'll do anything for you, you know that.

Tell me, have I fucked up?

Well, I hate to say it, but yes, you
have.

Is my life, Maxi? I know how close he is
to your heart.

You too.

are not like any ordinary couple.

You're bulletproof. You and Salma will
survive this. Because you have to.

I wish you were right.

I most certainly am.

Before you know it.

Thank you, Max.

Max? Mm -hmm?

Did you notice something strange in him?

My dear Scala, he's the definition of
strange.

I know that. I mean... What?

Never mind.

Are you saying that you saw the ghost of
Sheila Legg?

Strong.

visible, murderous ghost.

Though you understand, this is proof.

Nothing else can go wrong.

As you wish, my lord.

Is everything in place for tomorrow?
Shall we go to the guesthouse?

Hmm.

Yeah.