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All right, today's show truly is a
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warning sign for every parent watching.
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We're going to meet these seemingly
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innocent 16-year-old identical twins.
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But in reality, they're not innocent.
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They're violent. They're destructive.
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And in fact, they're downright
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dangerous, especially to each other.
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Now, the moment we heard the extent and
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frequency of the twins violence, we
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accelerated our process to get the whole
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family here. I feel they're in dire
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straits. So, we got them here before
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something serious happened. Take a look.
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Our 16-year-old identical twins are out
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of control. Drew and Dallas fight daily.
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I hit your door and you go, "Right, try
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that again." My brother and I, we fight
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probably a couple times a day.
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No, you no. Get out of here. Get away
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from me. Dallas talks to me like I'm a
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piece of trash. I egg him on because uh
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he's asking for it. And then I said no.
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And then you started flipping your
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[Music]
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Drew and Dallas have done damage to our
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home. That's Dallas's door. Bunch of
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holes in his walls in here. It's pretty
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much a mess. They've ruined their
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furniture. Graffiti their bedrooms. Boys
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smoke marijuana for breakfast, lunch,
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and dinner.
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9:00 comes every single morning. My
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brother's busting down my door if it's
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locked. Hey, will you smoke me a bull? I
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got to go to work. I was standing by his
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door. He was jump. I'm going to knock
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you the out. And he's up in my face
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yelling, screaming at me. So I just hit
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him with a right hook and dropped him
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onto my stuff.
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Drew and Dallas were both charged with
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domestic violence. I told the police,
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"Arest him and take them away." Every
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day he'd go in my room, steal my pot,
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and it got to a point where you I bought
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a $40 lock from my door. Within two
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hours, he had jumped through my door,
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busted the whole door down, knocked
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himself out, cut his ear in half. Our
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house is a time bomb, ready to explode.
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I feel like they may come in my room in
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the middle of the night and beat me in
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the head with a hammer. I can't take it
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anymore.
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You say the twins have broken bones.
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They've broken teeth. I mean, there one
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of them got his teeth knocked out the
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other day, right? Yes. Yeah. They've
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graffitied their room. They They've
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knocked holes in the door. This is their
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room. It's escalated to this. This is
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their room at home. Yes. Okay. So, where
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have y'all been? What have you been
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doing about it? We called the police. I
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said, "Take them away. I I can't handle
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this." Are they in charge? You get in
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the middle of them, you're going to get
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knocked down and nothing's going to
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happen. Our police don't take them away.
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So, they're in charge. Stop in. They're
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in charge of our house right now. Okay.
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And you say you fear they could come in
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in the middle of the night and smash
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your head in with a hammer. Well, you
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know, that's that's an example of a
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thought that has crossed my mind. Yeah.
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And I thought, "Wow, it's got this bad
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to where that thought entered my mind."
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You say that the twins smoke marijuana
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for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They
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do. Yes. And you know this because you
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told this to us. I've told them a
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million times that get that crap out of
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my out of my house. But you you realize
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that they're how old? 16. They'll be 17
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next month. And they drink.
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Mhm. And you know it. And you say you
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know it. Mhm. So are do you worry about
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being charged with contributing to the
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delinquency of a minor? Yes, I do. I do.
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You need to be. I know that. We are. So
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they got high on mushrooms, you said.
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And and Drew ran naked around the house
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and around the neighborhood. Had to go
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to the ER for IV fluids. Uh, Dallas
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drank a fifth of Bikardi and got hit by
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a truck.
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Then you get a text from Drew. Dallas
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knocked my teeth out. So you call the
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cops. You say just take him to jail. You
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say, Drew's broken his hand twice. Both
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in fights
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and had surgery twice on both broken
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hands. And you say, "Our house is a time
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bomb." And I admit to giving the twins
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what they want to keep the peace. I
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have. What do I do? They refuse
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counseling. The police will not step in.
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What do I do? We thought about running
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away. We text each other last week from
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work and said, "Let's get in the car.
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We've got a few hundred. Let's change
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our appearance. Let's just go start
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over. That's how bad it is. It might
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sound funny, but I'm desperate. I don't
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know what to do, and I can't get any
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help." So, there's drug paraphernalia
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all over the house. They don't They
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smoke it with their bedroom shut and the
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doors there. the door open or they jump
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out their bedroom. Well, problem solved
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then. Yeah, we were gone. We were gone
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and they made marijuana brownies not too
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long ago and he came home and said,
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"Wow, someone made brownies." And he ate
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one.
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You caught Drew in your bed having sex
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with a girl. Yes. And so what do they
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say when you say this is not okay? What
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are you doing? Get out. We confronted
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them both right then and right there.
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Get out. and she got up and left. Bye.
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Do dealers come to the house?
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Not that I know of. Uh, ask your
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husband. Yes, they have.
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You're indignant. I don't know. At this
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point, I'm pretty desperate.
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It sounds to me like you'd say, "Well,
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just wait a second. I'll get Drew or
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I'll get Dallas." Oh, heavens, no. And
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I'll say, "This is my house. This is not
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fine. leave my house
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now. And they don't. They just look at
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me like, "Come on, let's go." Then what
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do you do? I grab the phone and say,
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"I'm gonna call the cops." And they
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leave. Well, I tell you what, we're
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going to hear what the twins have to say
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about all this. Take a look.
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I think the main problem in my household
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is Drew's anger problems. He comes in,
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"Give me that. Give me that." Rips it
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out of my hand. I truly don't think I'm
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a angry person. Drew threatened to kill
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me. He's threatened to stomp me. He's
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threatened to break every single thing I
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have. The last time I broke my hand, my
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brother and I had got into an argument
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and I ended up punching him in the back
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of the head. I think he's jealous of me,
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but I also think that's not my problem.
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I feel that since he started hanging out
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with his best friend, his attitude
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rubbed off on him. He thinks everything
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is a competition between me and him.
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I've been in a lot of fights. My brother
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was just the one who was there with me,
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you know, getting my back. He thinks
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that I can beat his ass. I don't want to
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beat his ass. I know I can. When Dallas
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drinks, he drinks to get drunk. My
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brother calls me, "Hey, dude. You think
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you could bring me my stuff?" And I
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drove up to where he was. And sure
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enough, here comes my brother stumbling
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down the middle of the road. He just
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freaked out and he started punching the
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side of my truck. I'm yelling, "I told
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you, let me in this freaking cab." So, I
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left and I I went straight home. I ended
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up having to walk home and got hit by a
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truck. That was partially my brother's
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fault. If my brother didn't have his
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anger problems, he would have drove me
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home that night. The violence and anger
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has just got to end. I'm afraid that
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Drew or Dallas are going to end up dead.
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You get in fights with each other.
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You're wrecking cars, smoking
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dope, putting graffiti in your room,
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ignoring your parents. What the hell are
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you thinking? All right. When I get home
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from work, you know, first thing they
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tell me to do, pick up the clothes. you
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know, that maybe they had washed for me,
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you know, so they're sitting out in the
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living room. They wanted me to go hang
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them up, but they're hounding me. Get
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your clo get your clothes done. I need
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to eat something, take a shower, then
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I'm going to do it, you know. But is it
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still there the next morning? A lot of
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times sometimes, but it's because
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honestly, are we talking about whether
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he picks up his t-shirt or not? Is that
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what we're here to talk about? Honest to
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God, I mean, come on, guys. You can't be
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that clueless.
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We're really going to spend time talking
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about whether he picked me because
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that's what he wants to do. Like they
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they nag me when I get home about
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picking up my stuff. So, Dr. Phil, let's
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spend some time talking about that. So,
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we don't spend time talking about the
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fact that I violently attack my brother,
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that I knock doors down throughout the
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house, I painted graffiti in my room,
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wrecked the car, do drugs illegally
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every day. Let's talk about picking up
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my t-shirt so we don't have to talk
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about that stuff. Come on. Do you not
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see deflection here when it happens?
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Yes. You
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just Let's not talk about picking up
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your t-shirt. Let's talk about you
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smoking dope every day all day. Okay.
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All right. Let's talk about that. What's
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your theory about how that's okay? I do
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it because it's my choice. I mean,
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someday I'll move on and I'll It isn't
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your choice. You're 16. It's illegal.
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It's against the law. Okay. Then whose
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choice is it? My parents. They tell You
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know, they tell me I can't smoke. Okay.
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That's right. because they're your
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parents and they're responsible for you
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and it's against the law. Okay.
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I mean, not to be disrespectful, but you
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know how many people are out there
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smoking anyways? Do you know how many
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people are sitting in that chair right
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now? Yeah. You. Yeah. So, I don't care
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about everybody out on the street. I'm
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talking about you and you. Okay. So, I'm
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I'm waiting for your theory about how
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it's okay. I'm going to do it because I
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like it. Yeah. Because we want to. I
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choose to sit in my room and smoke
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marijuana. Do you guys see what you're
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doing to us? The marijuana isn't what
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makes you my house. That usually is
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because you invade his privacy and break
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his door down or enter his room to get
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what you want. I He's still asleep and
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he's not a morning guy. He's like me.
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You know, I don't want to be hassled or
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talked to a lot the second I climb out
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of bed. Let me get my bearings here
261
00:09:51,519 --> 00:09:53,760
because I'm just no country boy and I I
262
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don't move as fast as everybody else
263
00:09:55,519 --> 00:09:57,600
here.
264
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,200
We're talking about the
265
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fact that he's not a morning person,
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right? And he should respect that. And
267
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let me talk let me let me be sure I got
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00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,000
it down right here because what actually
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happened that you boil down to now you
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00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,880
need to know he's not a morning person
271
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,079
is that you got up that morning and you
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00:10:20,079 --> 00:10:23,200
wanted some dope and you didn't have any
273
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and it was in his room. So you go
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banging on the door and break the door
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down to get in and then you knock his
276
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teeth out because of that. But that's
277
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,040
not how it goes. He's just not mourning
278
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,000
people. You're right about that.
279
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,240
Well, you we we put everything together.
280
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,480
It doesn't happen like that. My bong was
281
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out in the cold shed that I didn't want
282
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,920
to walk out to. I had my own marijuana,
283
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,079
so I walked in his room and grabbed it.
284
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Oh, well that quietly. Okay. Well, that
285
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,680
explains it. I didn't knock his door
286
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,680
down. And I did not knock, you know. So
287
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:58,480
you had no choice but to go get his off
288
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the shelf.
289
00:11:01,839 --> 00:11:04,800
Okay. Well, now I get it.
290
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,440
So you knock his teeth out. Yeah. It
291
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,440
didn't happen that way. Um let's see.
292
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,440
When we when I got my teeth knocked out
293
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,160
that morning, let's see. I I went in his
294
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,320
bedroom or No, I had already been
295
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,720
punched. I already been punched because
296
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,240
he told me he was going to knock me the
297
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,959
out. So I told him to do it. Okay. And
298
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then he did it. He punched me in the
299
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face and I made fun of him. Hang on a
300
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,000
second. Hang on a second. Now, you may
301
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,760
not respect their house, but you will
302
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,519
respect mine. And do not use that
303
00:11:31,519 --> 00:11:36,000
language in front of my audience. You
304
00:11:38,279 --> 00:11:40,480
understand? You want to try me? That's
305
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,760
the easy way to do it. You don't
306
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,079
disrespect these
307
00:11:43,079 --> 00:11:46,160
people. You got it. I got it. All we're
308
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,800
going to take a break. Teresa says the
309
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,040
twins refuse to go to counseling. Dan
310
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,200
says he isn't good at punishing. So,
311
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,320
we're going to find about all the
312
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,800
mistakes the parents may be making, and
313
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,200
I'm going to show you how to make sure
314
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,120
you're not setting yourself up to wind
315
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,240
up right here in this circumstance.
316
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,480
I've got Drew in the act more than once
317
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,720
in my house. Last year, I was having sex
318
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,040
on their bed and he comes walking down
319
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,120
the hall. The door was open. I came home
320
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,600
and Drew and his girlfriend were
321
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,600
actually in my bed going at it. Didn't
322
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,600
even hear him come in. I told him to get
323
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,079
up, get all the sheets and blankets off
324
00:12:22,079 --> 00:12:26,079
the bed, and get him in the washer. Now,
325
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,920
well, that was Dan talking about the
326
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,240
time he caught his teenage son in the
327
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,880
master bedroom with a girl. He and his
328
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,519
wife, Teresa, say, "These kids are just
329
00:12:35,519 --> 00:12:37,200
out of control. They don't know what to
330
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,440
do. I'm here with all of them, twins,
331
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,800
Drew and Dallas." Why his bed? Um
332
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,639
because I had a bunk bed at the time and
333
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,720
I really I couldn't, you know, I didn't
334
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,240
like to hit my back on the metal
335
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:54,279
bars and she didn't like to either.
336
00:12:56,839 --> 00:12:59,279
Okay. Why do you object to your brother
337
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,000
having friends? I don't like the kid he
338
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,680
hangs out with. And the kid starts
339
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,680
coming over every single day, staying
340
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,600
the night every single day, eating our
341
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,279
food for lunch, breakfast, dinner. And
342
00:13:09,279 --> 00:13:11,120
it's okay because he drives Dallas
343
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,120
around a little bit. Does he like your
344
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,200
friends? Um, Dallas, I don't have
345
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,160
friends. Why do you not have friends?
346
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,320
I don't know. I don't like to go hang
347
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,720
out with people. You do, too. You're
348
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,720
overwhelming for your friends. And you
349
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,120
want friends, and you want him to be
350
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:31,920
your best friend. That's the problem.
351
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:35,680
I want him. I know you want him. He
352
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,079
doesn't want you. Do you not? That's why
353
00:13:38,079 --> 00:13:39,360
counseling. Do you not like your
354
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,040
brother?
355
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,160
I like my brother. It's your anger,
356
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,880
Drew, that gets him. Oh, please, mother.
357
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,760
Please. I yell at him when he's calling
358
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:53,360
me. He eggs me on. I'm sorry. I have bad
359
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,839
mouth. Yes.
360
00:13:55,839 --> 00:13:57,440
You know, I don't have anger problems. I
361
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,399
let it out when I need to or when I when
362
00:14:00,399 --> 00:14:04,279
it's I feel it's it's an expression.
363
00:14:04,279 --> 00:14:06,800
It's not an emotion for me. It's an
364
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,279
expression. I show that I'm angry
365
00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:11,199
because he's he's made it that way for
366
00:14:11,199 --> 00:14:14,240
me. How he does that to me. He's hurt
367
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:18,079
you. Yeah. He makes me shake and freak
368
00:14:18,079 --> 00:14:19,480
out
369
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,800
like how much anger he makes me have. I
370
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,959
can't control it. He's like, he's the
371
00:14:24,959 --> 00:14:27,920
ticking time bomb with his attitude.
372
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,240
What is it like? Um, I don't know.
373
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,240
Instantly come to my room. Hey, smoke me
374
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,360
out right now. I got to go to work.
375
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:34,959
Smoke me out right now. It's like, no,
376
00:14:34,959 --> 00:14:36,160
I'm not going to smoke you out. If you
377
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,079
want to smoke, get your own stuff, you
378
00:14:38,079 --> 00:14:40,079
know? And then, and then if since I said
379
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:41,800
no, then he's going to start throwing a
380
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,240
flip. Like, fine, you're never smoking
381
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,440
my stuff. You're never touching this
382
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,680
again. You know, I don't know. And it,
383
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,480
you know, I'm not. So, you're fighting
384
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,040
over drugs. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes
385
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,639
smoking pot doesn't bring me down at
386
00:14:54,639 --> 00:14:57,600
all. I mean, I I'm moving on. I I've got
387
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,560
my job in school. I've never missed a
388
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,639
credit.
389
00:15:02,639 --> 00:15:05,360
3.5 or above student since I've been in
390
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,519
elementary school. You know, big deal. I
391
00:15:07,519 --> 00:15:09,279
smoke a little pot. Don't bug me about
392
00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:11,000
it. It's on my own
393
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,680
time. Leave me alone. Why are you
394
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,560
crying?
395
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,800
I'm not proud of being a pot smoker. I
396
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,240
don't want all my friends to watch this
397
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,959
TV show and see me crying and talking
398
00:15:22,959 --> 00:15:25,440
about how much spot I smoke. I'm not
399
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:29,120
proud of it. Why do you do it? Cuz I
400
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,600
like it. I might not be proud of it, but
401
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,279
you know, that's why I try not to do it
402
00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:36,320
around some people, you know.
403
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,560
I don't know. I wouldn't be up here
404
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,639
smoking. You know, I didn't bring stuff
405
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:42,800
with me in California. How about you?
406
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,680
What? I just feel
407
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,040
hurt being here talking about our
408
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,600
problems.
409
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,000
I like to walk past my problems and just
410
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,720
ignore them like they're not there.
411
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,759
Do you care at all what
412
00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:01,680
impact your choices and behaviors are
413
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,600
having on your parents? Do you care at
414
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,079
all? No, I don't feel my choices have an
415
00:16:06,079 --> 00:16:08,720
impact on them unless maybe I hit a
416
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,399
fence like this guy did or something
417
00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:12,959
that may cost him money. Me smoking pot
418
00:16:12,959 --> 00:16:14,399
and not getting caught by the law or
419
00:16:14,399 --> 00:16:16,880
anything that doesn't affect them. I'm
420
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,839
talking about the fact that they are so
421
00:16:19,839 --> 00:16:22,560
stressed out to the point that they just
422
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,560
want to run away that it's eating them
423
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,199
alive. The house is chaotic. Would you
424
00:16:27,199 --> 00:16:28,720
agree the house is chaotic? Yeah, it's
425
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,079
the screaming and yelling, not the
426
00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:32,720
violence. I don't before him hitting me.
427
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,399
When was the last time that happened? I
428
00:16:34,399 --> 00:16:36,959
don't know. Yeah, I couldn't tell you.
429
00:16:36,959 --> 00:16:39,120
We're the same age. He looks like me.
430
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,759
Have has the same friends as me. You
431
00:16:41,759 --> 00:16:44,079
live with You live with yourself. But
432
00:16:44,079 --> 00:16:45,600
this is this is like Tell me you
433
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,079
wouldn't hate that.
434
00:16:51,759 --> 00:16:54,639
No, I I I do not want to live with Dr.
435
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,120
Phil. I
436
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,480
All right, we're going to take a break.
437
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,160
Next. Whenever you have one member of
438
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,720
family who's out of control, they impact
439
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,400
everybody. They affect all the other
440
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,799
members of the family.
441
00:17:06,799 --> 00:17:09,280
I can't be treated this way anymore. I
442
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,120
don't know how much longer my wife can
443
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:13,439
take it. I cannot have my house wrecked
444
00:17:13,439 --> 00:17:16,000
any longer. I seem to have lost control
445
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,959
of my house and I need help getting it
446
00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:21,520
back.
447
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:22,959
Well, we're talking with Dan and Teresa
448
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,439
who say they've just lost control of
449
00:17:25,439 --> 00:17:27,280
their 16-year-old twins, Drew and
450
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,039
Dallas. And you guys say we just do what
451
00:17:29,039 --> 00:17:29,919
we want to do because we want to do it
452
00:17:29,919 --> 00:17:31,360
and it's nobody's business but ours,
453
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:34,240
right? Mhm. You know, you can go to jail
454
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,799
for illegal drugs, right? Yeah, but I
455
00:17:36,799 --> 00:17:39,679
plan on quitting that one day. I mean, I
456
00:17:39,679 --> 00:17:41,440
may do it now, but I'm not in jail, am
457
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:45,679
I? I'm on Dr. Phil. Yeah. I need you to
458
00:17:45,679 --> 00:17:49,679
quit now. All right. I've got a timeline
459
00:17:49,679 --> 00:17:51,679
of the twins behavior because you say
460
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:54,160
this stuff just happens ever so often.
461
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,200
But in 2006, you vandalized an empty
462
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,360
house. Mhm. Okay. So, you were how old
463
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,000
at that time? I was in sixth grade. No.
464
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,440
Sixth and seventh grade. It was a
465
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,360
neighbor's house, right? And he he made
466
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,039
you mad. That neighbor whitewashed me.
467
00:18:07,039 --> 00:18:09,120
And you know what? He moved and you know
468
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,799
what? I thought that was payback. So you
469
00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,960
went and vandalized his house. Yeah.
470
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,120
See, you say that like Yes, of course I
471
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,120
did. I didn't like him. So I went and
472
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:18,799
destroyed I know it was wrong. I know it
473
00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:20,559
was wrong and it was I don't go out with
474
00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:23,039
graffiti anymore. It's a crime. Yeah. Do
475
00:18:23,039 --> 00:18:25,200
I do it anymore? No. I don't know. Yeah.
476
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,120
When was the last time? 2007. Drew
477
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,200
breaks his hand fighting a kid at camp,
478
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,200
right? Kid punched me in the face. I
479
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,120
warned him if he if he did it again, I'd
480
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,919
beat his ass and he did it again. So 08,
481
00:18:35,919 --> 00:18:38,480
you you guys start smoking pot in '08,
482
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,640
right? So it's been three, four years or
483
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,039
was it before that? 08's when we first
484
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,559
started and then we quit for two years
485
00:18:44,559 --> 00:18:47,120
until 9th grade summer. 2010, Dan
486
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:50,240
catches Drew having sex in his bed. June
487
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,720
11, Dallas charged with reckless driving
488
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,120
and hit and run. You left the scene.
489
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:58,480
Yeah. Why? Um I mean it was my first
490
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,640
wreck. I didn't I didn't know what to
491
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,039
do. I just left. I mean, it was wrong,
492
00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:05,760
but you know, next time I won't. So, you
493
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,160
lose your license and there's $10,000 in
494
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,160
fees and damages. Yeah. You know, I'm I
495
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,520
know. I know. I put them out of some
496
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,520
money for now. You know, they're getting
497
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,520
it back slowly. So, you destroyed the
498
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,600
fender on the car. And then in August of
499
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,360
11, you back into a moving car. $2,700
500
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,080
in damages. Then you break your hand
501
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,320
punching Dallas. That's the second time
502
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,760
you broke your hand. Yeah. No, you
503
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,440
didn't break your hand punching me. Yes.
504
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,039
No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. I had to
505
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:34,600
have pins put in Dallas. Maybe. No,
506
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,720
Dallas. I punched you in the back of the
507
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:37,919
head when you were on the ground and I
508
00:19:37,919 --> 00:19:40,640
had pins put in my hand. Surgery. That's
509
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,880
obviously a broken hand. All right,
510
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,320
then. Then all right. Yeah, then you
511
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,600
broke your hand. Well, don't get in a
512
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,559
fight about it now. Then September 11,
513
00:19:48,559 --> 00:19:50,880
Dallas and Drew get high from illegal
514
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,480
mushrooms. Drew, you have to go to the
515
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:56,080
hospital, right? New Year's Eve, 2011,
516
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,160
Drew gets driven home by someone who
517
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,880
didn't even have a driver's license.
518
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,720
January, Dallas knocks out a boy in gym
519
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:07,039
class. Yeah. So then you've broken down
520
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:11,280
his bedroom door twice, right? Yeah. And
521
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,640
then you got hit by a truck. Yeah. And
522
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,880
then you're admitted to the hospital for
523
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,880
alcohol poisoning. I went to the
524
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,799
hospital because I got hit by a truck.
525
00:20:20,799 --> 00:20:22,320
No. No, that's not. You were
526
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,160
unresponsive. They took me to shallow
527
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,679
breathing. Dallas, you were shallow
528
00:20:25,679 --> 00:20:27,200
breathing. It was shallow breathing
529
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,440
because I got hit by a truck. No. I was
530
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,360
walking home. I was completely fine that
531
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,720
night. I might I might have killed a
532
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,400
fist and had too much alcohol. But did I
533
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,200
get alcohol poisoning? No.
534
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,720
You did. Am I ever going to drink that
535
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,120
much again? No. But are you ever going
536
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,760
to drink again? Yeah. We'll see. You
537
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,679
just told me you were fine. I said we'll
538
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,360
see. You said you may have killed a
539
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,440
fifth. Yeah, I I killed a fifth of
540
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,240
vodka. Yes. 151 proof. And how much does
541
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,159
it weigh? 130. No, actually it wasn't
542
00:20:54,159 --> 00:20:57,679
151 proof. It was 80 proof. Well, I'm
543
00:20:57,679 --> 00:21:00,080
just saying
544
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,880
Dan and I were gone to a funeral and
545
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,120
while we were gone, Drew and Dallas ate
546
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,480
an overdose of
547
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,760
hallucinogenic mushrooms. He was
548
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,760
completely gone. My heart rate dropped
549
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,520
to like 41 beats per second or
550
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,039
something. I'm I'm holding him, shake
551
00:21:15,039 --> 00:21:16,919
his face, get him looking at eye
552
00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:20,960
contact. He's Dan and I drove 7 hours
553
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,280
back home straight to the hospital. We
554
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,720
found Drew in the hospital bed.
555
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,559
Well, that was Drew in Dallas talking
556
00:21:28,559 --> 00:21:30,559
about the night Drew went to the
557
00:21:30,559 --> 00:21:32,799
hospital after taking illegal drugs.
558
00:21:32,799 --> 00:21:34,000
These were mushrooms. Now, their
559
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,480
parents, Dan and Teresa, say they're
560
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:37,840
actually afraid to live in the same
561
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,440
house at this point because the twins
562
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,840
are so violent and out of control that
563
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,360
they've actually thought about just
564
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:46,000
running away. Do Do you all get that all
565
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,400
of this affects your your family? And I,
566
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:49,919
you know, I've got I wanted to show you
567
00:21:49,919 --> 00:21:53,480
something here. And I
568
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,720
I've you know, you guys think I you just
569
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,159
do what you want to do cuz you want to
570
00:21:58,159 --> 00:22:00,640
do it. And you think that's just me.
571
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,520
That's just me. I'm just out here and
572
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,000
that's just me. But what you don't
573
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,320
understand is your relationship with
574
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,360
each other. Then two of you are
575
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,960
together. But then when you two start
576
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,320
fighting, it creates absolute
577
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,159
chaos in the house. Every member of the
578
00:22:18,159 --> 00:22:20,240
house is is affected. Everybody's
579
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,280
moving. This one affects this one. This
580
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,280
one affects this one. This one affects
581
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,799
this one. And what you get is absolute
582
00:22:28,799 --> 00:22:30,960
chaos. And that's what your house is
583
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,039
like, right? Yes. And you two think,
584
00:22:33,039 --> 00:22:34,880
well, no, it's just us. We can get out
585
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,360
here and just do what we want to do. But
586
00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:40,159
that's just simply not right. Everybody
587
00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:41,960
affects everybody
588
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,799
else. And you wind up with chaos, which
589
00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:46,880
is exactly what you've got here. Nobody
590
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,520
in a family can move without affecting
591
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,159
the other people in the
592
00:22:51,159 --> 00:22:54,640
family. Everything interacts. Do you all
593
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,600
get what I'm saying? Oh yes. And you
594
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,240
enable these kids. I mean both of you
595
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:03,679
allow them to smoke pot. You have made
596
00:23:03,679 --> 00:23:06,720
the decision that that's okay. You make
597
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,039
empty threats. You you say yourself
598
00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:10,320
you're not good at it. You're not good
599
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,480
at punishing. You threaten to take the
600
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,400
keys and the cell phone, but you never
601
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:18,480
do. They know you don't. I have, but it
602
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,000
gets worse with people yelling
603
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,480
and pissed off and we get I don't know.
604
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,480
I get tired of listening to it. And so
605
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,559
you cave it. I'll cave. I cave cuz
606
00:23:28,559 --> 00:23:29,840
someone's going to get hurt and I'm
607
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,200
going to spend the whole night at the
608
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,080
hospital again. I work. I don't have
609
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,640
time to spend at the dentist and the
610
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,120
hospitals. Hey, they're your kids. I
611
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:41,200
don't know what to do. It has to stop.
612
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,720
They think it doesn't have any effect on
613
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,240
you. This just no problem. They're fine.
614
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:45,440
and they do what they want to do. It's
615
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,600
their life. They do it. Do y'all have
616
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,840
y'all ever heard the word empathy? We
617
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,520
went over the definition of that in
618
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,520
health like a couple weeks ago. In
619
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,720
health a couple weeks ago. Empathy is
620
00:23:55,720 --> 00:24:00,000
like a feeling of you can feel what
621
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,760
someone else is feeling or something
622
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,679
like that. Isn't it that's close? It
623
00:24:03,679 --> 00:24:06,039
means you have the
624
00:24:06,039 --> 00:24:08,200
ability, the
625
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:11,440
sensitivity, the maturity to say I can
626
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:16,640
understand and relate to how they feel.
627
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,600
And it means if your mother is
628
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:27,320
frantic and just so overroought and
629
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,000
upset because of whatever it might be.
630
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,520
If you were empathetic with her, you
631
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,039
could understand how she
632
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:37,039
felt. And with that comes a measure of
633
00:24:37,039 --> 00:24:40,720
caring that you care what the impact is
634
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,200
on your mother or your father. If you
635
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,400
had empathy for your
636
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,600
brother, you would know that there are
637
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:51,039
certain things that really hurt him. I
638
00:24:51,039 --> 00:24:52,799
have empath empathy for everybody. I
639
00:24:52,799 --> 00:24:55,760
know what hurts and and so if you but if
640
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:59,760
you did unless you're just trying to be
641
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,760
mean and hurtful. That's exactly what it
642
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,200
is. Then you wouldn't do things that
643
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,880
would would cause pain in somebody that
644
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,960
you love and care about. Yeah. I do it
645
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,080
because he's hurt me. Oh, come I don't
646
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,159
know giving him back. Yeah. Yeah. So,
647
00:25:14,159 --> 00:25:16,000
that's a very reactive mode. That's not
648
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,640
a very mature mode. You know, a a mature
649
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,760
mode might be to sit down and have a
650
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,240
conversation where you said, "Look, when
651
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,520
you do this, it it really hurts me. So,
652
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,159
I'm going to ask you not to do that. And
653
00:25:30,159 --> 00:25:32,880
if there are things that I do that hurt
654
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,279
you, then I want you to tell me. And
655
00:25:35,279 --> 00:25:38,240
we're going to try to be more mature and
656
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,240
grow in this relationship." So it
657
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,000
doesn't get to the point where we're so
658
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,240
frustrated, so angry that we just, you
659
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,480
know, just want to knock the door down
660
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,480
or want to hit each other or call each
661
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,000
other names. And one thing we know is
662
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,760
that your brains aren't through growing
663
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,960
yet. They'll grow until you're 25. And
664
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,159
the last part of it that grows is the
665
00:26:02,159 --> 00:26:04,480
part that helps you predict the
666
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,159
consequences of your actions. And you
667
00:26:08,159 --> 00:26:09,919
there are certain things you can't see
668
00:26:09,919 --> 00:26:12,559
which is why you have to rely on your
669
00:26:12,559 --> 00:26:16,159
parents to do that. If you knew what I
670
00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:18,960
knew about smoking as much dope as
671
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,120
you're smoking at your age, you would
672
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:23,840
probably throw up right now. Well, I
673
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,960
because it changes the neurology in your
674
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,480
brain. And I know you don't believe
675
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,360
that. Yeah, I know. But I have a
676
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:35,200
bachelor's, master's, and PhD.
677
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,760
And I spent an awful lot of time on
678
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,080
brain and central nervous system and I
679
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,880
do know that and I do read the research.
680
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,279
I do know the studies and you're just
681
00:26:45,279 --> 00:26:49,120
wrong. Yeah. You know, it's just I'll be
682
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:53,159
happy to. I am wrong. Big deal. I'm
683
00:26:53,159 --> 00:26:56,240
sorry. What' you say? Said I am wrong.
684
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,520
Big deal. Well, it is a big deal. See,
685
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,120
this is this is where the part comes in
686
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,640
where it's hard for you to understand
687
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,880
the consequences of your choices. You
688
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,960
say big deal. It isn't a big deal to you
689
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,720
right now, but it can be a big deal to
690
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,760
you later when you go,
691
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,080
"Wow, I I wish I hadn't done some of the
692
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,760
things that I've done." We're all in
693
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,720
that situation at some point or another.
694
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,720
You just hope that somebody's there to
695
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:27,120
contain you and and move you forward.
696
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:30,159
Well, I'm back with Teresa, Dan, Drew,
697
00:27:30,159 --> 00:27:35,279
and Dallas, and I'm I'm really curious.
698
00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:37,120
Do you think you have any responsibility
699
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,720
in the fact that this family is chaotic?
700
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:43,679
Um, no, I don't. He points to my anger
701
00:27:43,679 --> 00:27:46,240
problems. So, it's just if we could calm
702
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,120
him down. Yeah. I think I think if he
703
00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:50,400
didn't flip out about every little
704
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,320
thing, there'd be nothing wrong with us.
705
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,440
But using a little thing, you guys want
706
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,360
to do an experiment with me? Yeah. Okay.
707
00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:58,559
I want you guys to stand right here and
708
00:27:58,559 --> 00:28:00,159
face each other. Stand right here.
709
00:28:00,159 --> 00:28:01,440
You're here. You're good. You're right
710
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,679
here. Want you face each other. Okay.
711
00:28:03,679 --> 00:28:05,039
Now, I want you to look each other in
712
00:28:05,039 --> 00:28:07,440
the eye and don't look away. And Drew, I
713
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,159
want you to tell your brother what you
714
00:28:10,159 --> 00:28:13,520
say to yourself after he has called you
715
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,720
names and pushed you away. I want you to
716
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,440
tell him what you think and feel. It
717
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,399
hurts me.
718
00:28:22,399 --> 00:28:24,960
I don't like it at all and I want it to
719
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,960
stop.
720
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,679
Tell him how it hurts you.
721
00:28:31,679 --> 00:28:34,000
First kid to ever punch me in the face
722
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,080
made that name up and I don't like it.
723
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,960
Makes me think of
724
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,360
that. Dallas, look at him. Is that what
725
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,840
you want him to feel? I mean, do you
726
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,279
want him to go say, "Okay, I remember
727
00:28:53,279 --> 00:28:55,120
now that kid bullied me and hurt me, and
728
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,360
now my brother's doing it." I mean, is
729
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,120
that is that your goal? Is that what you
730
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,440
want him to feel? Um, when I say, "Yeah,
731
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,279
that's how I want him to feel." Mhm. Cuz
732
00:29:05,279 --> 00:29:07,360
I think he deserves it. What you mean
733
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,520
when I say it?
734
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:10,640
How do you want him to feel about
735
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,360
himself overall? I think he should feel
736
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,399
good about himself.
737
00:29:16,399 --> 00:29:19,840
Be proud of yourself.
738
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,080
You ever done anything to him you're
739
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,320
sorry for? You ever sorry for hurting
740
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,240
his feelings? No.
741
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,320
Just don't care. Cuz at the time he
742
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,799
deserves it.
743
00:29:31,799 --> 00:29:34,640
Um I don't feel I hurt his feelings. I
744
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,799
feel he hurt heard himself. Doesn't
745
00:29:36,799 --> 00:29:38,399
matter what other people think about
746
00:29:38,399 --> 00:29:40,000
you.
747
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,399
I know.
748
00:29:42,399 --> 00:29:44,880
So why do you let the name bug you? It
749
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,399
doesn't bug me. It hurts me on the
750
00:29:46,399 --> 00:29:48,399
inside. And there's nothing I can do
751
00:29:48,399 --> 00:29:51,120
about it. The subject, I don't know how
752
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,919
many times I've displayed it to you. The
753
00:29:53,919 --> 00:29:57,720
subject hurts me.
754
00:30:00,850 --> 00:30:04,000
[Music]
755
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,559
Do you care that this is painful for
756
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:13,919
him? Why would I care?
757
00:30:13,919 --> 00:30:15,679
Because he's experiencing pain when he
758
00:30:15,679 --> 00:30:17,360
talks about it. I'm I'm experiencing
759
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,600
pain. I didn't ask about you. I asked
760
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,000
you about him. Oh,
761
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,000
yeah.
762
00:30:24,039 --> 00:30:26,880
Um I don't know. Do you wish he was
763
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,279
happy and self-confident instead
764
00:30:30,279 --> 00:30:33,279
of vulnerable and and painful? Yeah. I
765
00:30:33,279 --> 00:30:35,120
wish he was confident about himself and
766
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,360
wasn't so jealous of my friends. Doesn't
767
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:38,720
matter how many friends I have and how
768
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:40,080
many friends you have. I'm not jealous
769
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,320
of your friends. It pisses me off when
770
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,200
people tell me that cuz I'm not. Okay. I
771
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:46,120
have my
772
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,960
own. I don't only have one friend. I
773
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,559
have one friend that I enjoy to go over
774
00:30:50,559 --> 00:30:53,039
to his house. The rest of them I hate. I
775
00:30:53,039 --> 00:30:56,080
don't like people.
776
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,320
So you disrespect my friends. I don't
777
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,440
like them. So they disrespect me in my
778
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,320
own household. They your attitude, how
779
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:08,159
you treat me, they think they can.
780
00:31:08,159 --> 00:31:10,080
Well, you know, sometimes when I got my
781
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,320
friends in my room out, it doesn't
782
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,399
matter if I stay out.
783
00:31:14,399 --> 00:31:17,679
I'm still the pe your piece of brother.
784
00:31:17,679 --> 00:31:19,200
Yeah.
785
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,120
Well, because you know why you are?
786
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:22,720
Because you're throwing a fit the whole
787
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,360
time my friends are over. No, I'm not.
788
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,240
Yeah, you are
789
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,840
jealous. True. You're jealous. I'm not
790
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:31,960
jealous. You want Dallas to
791
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:36,240
yourself. You do. You do. I don't want
792
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,840
his friend staying the night every night
793
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,519
cuz there's no need. You want to be with
794
00:31:39,519 --> 00:31:41,440
him all the time. No, I'd like to see my
795
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:45,120
brother alone every once in a while.
796
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,559
Okay, I'm getting ready to send you guys
797
00:31:52,559 --> 00:31:57,000
off. Do you have any questions for me?
798
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:02,640
Um, like to get your autograph after the
799
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:07,039
show. Get your autograph after.
800
00:32:07,039 --> 00:32:09,279
AJ, if you would take these two for me,
801
00:32:09,279 --> 00:32:10,880
please. Let them spend some time
802
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:13,880
together.
803
00:32:14,399 --> 00:32:16,720
You have any questions for me? Can you
804
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,480
help them?
805
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:22,480
No, I I can't I I can't help them. Can
806
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,200
you help us? I can help this family.
807
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:30,919
Yeah. But the the problem is not them.
808
00:32:33,559 --> 00:32:36,799
And real real seriously, I want y'all to
809
00:32:36,799 --> 00:32:39,120
hear what I'm saying now. Um, it's not
810
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:42,559
too late for these boys. They're both
811
00:32:42,559 --> 00:32:44,320
intelligent
812
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,760
and they're both
813
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,679
articulate and they're both damaged.
814
00:32:49,679 --> 00:32:54,799
Drew is in a lot of pain and it
815
00:32:54,799 --> 00:32:57,039
expresses in anger, but it's just below
816
00:32:57,039 --> 00:32:59,519
the surface and he wants more than
817
00:32:59,519 --> 00:33:02,880
anything to be accepted by his brother.
818
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,679
But his
819
00:33:04,679 --> 00:33:10,320
brother is kind of moving away from him
820
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,640
because he finds his brother to be kind
821
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:16,880
of needy. Yes. And he has kind of a cool
822
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,480
and aloof way of dealing with
823
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,000
things. Um, you know, are you sorry when
824
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,600
you say things that you know hurt your
825
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,600
brother? Yeah.
826
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,519
Yeah. He's being honest. He's just
827
00:33:27,519 --> 00:33:29,600
telling you that at that point I'm being
828
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,320
honest. The biggest problem those boys
829
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,480
have got is you.
830
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,559
And I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be ugly
831
00:33:36,559 --> 00:33:39,279
or rude. The time for you to have
832
00:33:39,279 --> 00:33:42,320
intervened with these boys and made
833
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,720
certain that you got them to respect
834
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,519
authority and respect boundaries and
835
00:33:47,519 --> 00:33:48,600
respect
836
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,960
themselves was when they were three,
837
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,480
four, and five years old. And two things
838
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,840
need to happen. I I think they are on
839
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,720
the cusp of serious problems in their
840
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:05,519
lives. And I what I would do is I would
841
00:34:05,519 --> 00:34:09,040
take the opportunity to put both of them
842
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:12,320
in separate schools somewhere away from
843
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,800
the two of you and away from each other
844
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,040
at this point. I would put them in a
845
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,320
residential therapeutic school at this
846
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,240
point.
847
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:24,119
And while they were
848
00:34:24,119 --> 00:34:27,879
gone, I would work the two of you so
849
00:34:27,879 --> 00:34:31,560
hard on redefining your definition of
850
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:35,040
parenting and boundaries and, you know,
851
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,839
setting a a an environment for these
852
00:34:37,839 --> 00:34:41,040
kids to return to that you would do as
853
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,879
much work as they did while they were
854
00:34:42,879 --> 00:34:45,440
gone. You have allowed this to advance
855
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,919
to the point that it is now beyond the
856
00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:50,399
ability to fix in the home. Mhm. They've
857
00:34:50,399 --> 00:34:53,839
got to go outside the home and they're
858
00:34:53,839 --> 00:34:56,560
very likely to resist that and I'm
859
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,200
willing to make that available to you,
860
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,880
but the parents have to be out of the
861
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,720
loop. That's the only way that it that
862
00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:07,400
it works. They need to be in a highly
863
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,480
structured controlled environment. If
864
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:12,320
not, I would predict both of them are
865
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,320
going to wind up in prison. Yes. Because
866
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:15,920
they have no respect for boundaries.
867
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,760
They have no respect for authorities.
868
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:22,000
And this is our gift to your family. But
869
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,760
you you have to do the work while
870
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,560
they're gone. When they get there, the
871
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,359
success rate is incredibly high. And
872
00:35:29,359 --> 00:35:31,520
when they're gone, you got to figure out
873
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:32,720
how we're going to have to completely
874
00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:35,119
redefine this. We're more than happy to
875
00:35:35,119 --> 00:35:37,200
do that. Dr. Bill, do you have a story
876
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,599
or a question for me? Click the link in
877
00:35:39,599 --> 00:35:42,000
the description and tell me what in the
878
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,720
world is going on.62578
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