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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,879 All right, today's show truly is a 2 00:00:02,879 --> 00:00:05,680 warning sign for every parent watching. 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,800 We're going to meet these seemingly 4 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:11,200 innocent 16-year-old identical twins. 5 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,840 But in reality, they're not innocent. 6 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,240 They're violent. They're destructive. 7 00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:17,440 And in fact, they're downright 8 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:19,920 dangerous, especially to each other. 9 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,320 Now, the moment we heard the extent and 10 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,880 frequency of the twins violence, we 11 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,760 accelerated our process to get the whole 12 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,599 family here. I feel they're in dire 13 00:00:29,599 --> 00:00:31,840 straits. So, we got them here before 14 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,040 something serious happened. Take a look. 15 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,239 Our 16-year-old identical twins are out 16 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:42,879 of control. Drew and Dallas fight daily. 17 00:00:42,879 --> 00:00:45,040 I hit your door and you go, "Right, try 18 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,039 that again." My brother and I, we fight 19 00:00:47,039 --> 00:00:50,559 probably a couple times a day. 20 00:00:50,559 --> 00:00:53,760 No, you no. Get out of here. Get away 21 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,160 from me. Dallas talks to me like I'm a 22 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,879 piece of trash. I egg him on because uh 23 00:00:58,879 --> 00:01:01,520 he's asking for it. And then I said no. 24 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,690 And then you started flipping your 25 00:01:03,690 --> 00:01:05,280 [Music] 26 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,520 Drew and Dallas have done damage to our 27 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,400 home. That's Dallas's door. Bunch of 28 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,880 holes in his walls in here. It's pretty 29 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,880 much a mess. They've ruined their 30 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,759 furniture. Graffiti their bedrooms. Boys 31 00:01:17,759 --> 00:01:19,520 smoke marijuana for breakfast, lunch, 32 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,280 and dinner. 33 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,520 9:00 comes every single morning. My 34 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,040 brother's busting down my door if it's 35 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,560 locked. Hey, will you smoke me a bull? I 36 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,080 got to go to work. I was standing by his 37 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,439 door. He was jump. I'm going to knock 38 00:01:29,439 --> 00:01:31,680 you the out. And he's up in my face 39 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,159 yelling, screaming at me. So I just hit 40 00:01:34,159 --> 00:01:35,520 him with a right hook and dropped him 41 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,400 onto my stuff. 42 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,200 Drew and Dallas were both charged with 43 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,759 domestic violence. I told the police, 44 00:01:43,759 --> 00:01:46,720 "Arest him and take them away." Every 45 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,119 day he'd go in my room, steal my pot, 46 00:01:49,119 --> 00:01:51,520 and it got to a point where you I bought 47 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,159 a $40 lock from my door. Within two 48 00:01:54,159 --> 00:01:56,960 hours, he had jumped through my door, 49 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,479 busted the whole door down, knocked 50 00:01:58,479 --> 00:02:01,759 himself out, cut his ear in half. Our 51 00:02:01,759 --> 00:02:04,560 house is a time bomb, ready to explode. 52 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,280 I feel like they may come in my room in 53 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,879 the middle of the night and beat me in 54 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,879 the head with a hammer. I can't take it 55 00:02:10,879 --> 00:02:13,280 anymore. 56 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,360 You say the twins have broken bones. 57 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,720 They've broken teeth. I mean, there one 58 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,160 of them got his teeth knocked out the 59 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,000 other day, right? Yes. Yeah. They've 60 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,920 graffitied their room. They They've 61 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:26,080 knocked holes in the door. This is their 62 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,080 room. It's escalated to this. This is 63 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,879 their room at home. Yes. Okay. So, where 64 00:02:30,879 --> 00:02:32,640 have y'all been? What have you been 65 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,640 doing about it? We called the police. I 66 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,959 said, "Take them away. I I can't handle 67 00:02:36,959 --> 00:02:39,920 this." Are they in charge? You get in 68 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:41,360 the middle of them, you're going to get 69 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,040 knocked down and nothing's going to 70 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,360 happen. Our police don't take them away. 71 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,200 So, they're in charge. Stop in. They're 72 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,879 in charge of our house right now. Okay. 73 00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:50,480 And you say you fear they could come in 74 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:51,840 in the middle of the night and smash 75 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,040 your head in with a hammer. Well, you 76 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,120 know, that's that's an example of a 77 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,800 thought that has crossed my mind. Yeah. 78 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,959 And I thought, "Wow, it's got this bad 79 00:02:58,959 --> 00:03:02,159 to where that thought entered my mind." 80 00:03:02,159 --> 00:03:06,800 You say that the twins smoke marijuana 81 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,360 for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They 82 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,400 do. Yes. And you know this because you 83 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,560 told this to us. I've told them a 84 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,159 million times that get that crap out of 85 00:03:16,159 --> 00:03:18,560 my out of my house. But you you realize 86 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,040 that they're how old? 16. They'll be 17 87 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,519 next month. And they drink. 88 00:03:23,519 --> 00:03:25,920 Mhm. And you know it. And you say you 89 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:29,280 know it. Mhm. So are do you worry about 90 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,879 being charged with contributing to the 91 00:03:30,879 --> 00:03:33,760 delinquency of a minor? Yes, I do. I do. 92 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,319 You need to be. I know that. We are. So 93 00:03:36,319 --> 00:03:38,640 they got high on mushrooms, you said. 94 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,040 And and Drew ran naked around the house 95 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,640 and around the neighborhood. Had to go 96 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,000 to the ER for IV fluids. Uh, Dallas 97 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,239 drank a fifth of Bikardi and got hit by 98 00:03:48,239 --> 00:03:50,080 a truck. 99 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,640 Then you get a text from Drew. Dallas 100 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,400 knocked my teeth out. So you call the 101 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,799 cops. You say just take him to jail. You 102 00:03:56,799 --> 00:03:58,560 say, Drew's broken his hand twice. Both 103 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,319 in fights 104 00:04:00,319 --> 00:04:02,400 and had surgery twice on both broken 105 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,720 hands. And you say, "Our house is a time 106 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,360 bomb." And I admit to giving the twins 107 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,519 what they want to keep the peace. I 108 00:04:09,519 --> 00:04:12,720 have. What do I do? They refuse 109 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,920 counseling. The police will not step in. 110 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:20,479 What do I do? We thought about running 111 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:23,520 away. We text each other last week from 112 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,280 work and said, "Let's get in the car. 113 00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:27,280 We've got a few hundred. Let's change 114 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:29,759 our appearance. Let's just go start 115 00:04:29,759 --> 00:04:32,479 over. That's how bad it is. It might 116 00:04:32,479 --> 00:04:35,280 sound funny, but I'm desperate. I don't 117 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,040 know what to do, and I can't get any 118 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,720 help." So, there's drug paraphernalia 119 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,639 all over the house. They don't They 120 00:04:40,639 --> 00:04:42,400 smoke it with their bedroom shut and the 121 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,800 doors there. the door open or they jump 122 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,960 out their bedroom. Well, problem solved 123 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,440 then. Yeah, we were gone. We were gone 124 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,759 and they made marijuana brownies not too 125 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,759 long ago and he came home and said, 126 00:04:53,759 --> 00:04:56,240 "Wow, someone made brownies." And he ate 127 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,840 one. 128 00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,600 You caught Drew in your bed having sex 129 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,960 with a girl. Yes. And so what do they 130 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,800 say when you say this is not okay? What 131 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:08,479 are you doing? Get out. We confronted 132 00:05:08,479 --> 00:05:11,759 them both right then and right there. 133 00:05:11,759 --> 00:05:16,400 Get out. and she got up and left. Bye. 134 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,240 Do dealers come to the house? 135 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,720 Not that I know of. Uh, ask your 136 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:26,479 husband. Yes, they have. 137 00:05:26,479 --> 00:05:28,720 You're indignant. I don't know. At this 138 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:31,199 point, I'm pretty desperate. 139 00:05:31,199 --> 00:05:32,639 It sounds to me like you'd say, "Well, 140 00:05:32,639 --> 00:05:34,080 just wait a second. I'll get Drew or 141 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,440 I'll get Dallas." Oh, heavens, no. And 142 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,600 I'll say, "This is my house. This is not 143 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,320 fine. leave my house 144 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,600 now. And they don't. They just look at 145 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,199 me like, "Come on, let's go." Then what 146 00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:50,400 do you do? I grab the phone and say, 147 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,919 "I'm gonna call the cops." And they 148 00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,840 leave. Well, I tell you what, we're 149 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,360 going to hear what the twins have to say 150 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,479 about all this. Take a look. 151 00:05:58,479 --> 00:06:00,479 I think the main problem in my household 152 00:06:00,479 --> 00:06:03,120 is Drew's anger problems. He comes in, 153 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,880 "Give me that. Give me that." Rips it 154 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,120 out of my hand. I truly don't think I'm 155 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,759 a angry person. Drew threatened to kill 156 00:06:09,759 --> 00:06:11,600 me. He's threatened to stomp me. He's 157 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,280 threatened to break every single thing I 158 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,680 have. The last time I broke my hand, my 159 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,360 brother and I had got into an argument 160 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,880 and I ended up punching him in the back 161 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,680 of the head. I think he's jealous of me, 162 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,840 but I also think that's not my problem. 163 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,680 I feel that since he started hanging out 164 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,120 with his best friend, his attitude 165 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,440 rubbed off on him. He thinks everything 166 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,280 is a competition between me and him. 167 00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,880 I've been in a lot of fights. My brother 168 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,720 was just the one who was there with me, 169 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,000 you know, getting my back. He thinks 170 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,680 that I can beat his ass. I don't want to 171 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,240 beat his ass. I know I can. When Dallas 172 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,240 drinks, he drinks to get drunk. My 173 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,520 brother calls me, "Hey, dude. You think 174 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,199 you could bring me my stuff?" And I 175 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,800 drove up to where he was. And sure 176 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,479 enough, here comes my brother stumbling 177 00:06:50,479 --> 00:06:52,319 down the middle of the road. He just 178 00:06:52,319 --> 00:06:54,560 freaked out and he started punching the 179 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,880 side of my truck. I'm yelling, "I told 180 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,880 you, let me in this freaking cab." So, I 181 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,759 left and I I went straight home. I ended 182 00:07:01,759 --> 00:07:04,319 up having to walk home and got hit by a 183 00:07:04,319 --> 00:07:06,800 truck. That was partially my brother's 184 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,160 fault. If my brother didn't have his 185 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,440 anger problems, he would have drove me 186 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,919 home that night. The violence and anger 187 00:07:11,919 --> 00:07:14,160 has just got to end. I'm afraid that 188 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:18,840 Drew or Dallas are going to end up dead. 189 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,400 You get in fights with each other. 190 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,000 You're wrecking cars, smoking 191 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,800 dope, putting graffiti in your room, 192 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,960 ignoring your parents. What the hell are 193 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,360 you thinking? All right. When I get home 194 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:34,800 from work, you know, first thing they 195 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,319 tell me to do, pick up the clothes. you 196 00:07:36,319 --> 00:07:38,639 know, that maybe they had washed for me, 197 00:07:38,639 --> 00:07:39,680 you know, so they're sitting out in the 198 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:40,960 living room. They wanted me to go hang 199 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,639 them up, but they're hounding me. Get 200 00:07:42,639 --> 00:07:44,720 your clo get your clothes done. I need 201 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,720 to eat something, take a shower, then 202 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,280 I'm going to do it, you know. But is it 203 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:50,639 still there the next morning? A lot of 204 00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:52,080 times sometimes, but it's because 205 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,759 honestly, are we talking about whether 206 00:07:53,759 --> 00:07:55,680 he picks up his t-shirt or not? Is that 207 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,360 what we're here to talk about? Honest to 208 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,800 God, I mean, come on, guys. You can't be 209 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,120 that clueless. 210 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,720 We're really going to spend time talking 211 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:05,840 about whether he picked me because 212 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,280 that's what he wants to do. Like they 213 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,360 they nag me when I get home about 214 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,360 picking up my stuff. So, Dr. Phil, let's 215 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,199 spend some time talking about that. So, 216 00:08:13,199 --> 00:08:14,720 we don't spend time talking about the 217 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,800 fact that I violently attack my brother, 218 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,400 that I knock doors down throughout the 219 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,319 house, I painted graffiti in my room, 220 00:08:20,319 --> 00:08:22,639 wrecked the car, do drugs illegally 221 00:08:22,639 --> 00:08:24,560 every day. Let's talk about picking up 222 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,319 my t-shirt so we don't have to talk 223 00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:29,599 about that stuff. Come on. Do you not 224 00:08:29,599 --> 00:08:32,240 see deflection here when it happens? 225 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,479 Yes. You 226 00:08:35,479 --> 00:08:38,000 just Let's not talk about picking up 227 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,760 your t-shirt. Let's talk about you 228 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,800 smoking dope every day all day. Okay. 229 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,240 All right. Let's talk about that. What's 230 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,480 your theory about how that's okay? I do 231 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,560 it because it's my choice. I mean, 232 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,480 someday I'll move on and I'll It isn't 233 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,399 your choice. You're 16. It's illegal. 234 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,080 It's against the law. Okay. Then whose 235 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,680 choice is it? My parents. They tell You 236 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,680 know, they tell me I can't smoke. Okay. 237 00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:58,800 That's right. because they're your 238 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,640 parents and they're responsible for you 239 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:05,720 and it's against the law. Okay. 240 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,680 I mean, not to be disrespectful, but you 241 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:08,640 know how many people are out there 242 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,399 smoking anyways? Do you know how many 243 00:09:10,399 --> 00:09:11,920 people are sitting in that chair right 244 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,120 now? Yeah. You. Yeah. So, I don't care 245 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,480 about everybody out on the street. I'm 246 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,440 talking about you and you. Okay. So, I'm 247 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,040 I'm waiting for your theory about how 248 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,880 it's okay. I'm going to do it because I 249 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,200 like it. Yeah. Because we want to. I 250 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,880 choose to sit in my room and smoke 251 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,720 marijuana. Do you guys see what you're 252 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,720 doing to us? The marijuana isn't what 253 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,200 makes you my house. That usually is 254 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,320 because you invade his privacy and break 255 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,200 his door down or enter his room to get 256 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,279 what you want. I He's still asleep and 257 00:09:43,279 --> 00:09:45,200 he's not a morning guy. He's like me. 258 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,040 You know, I don't want to be hassled or 259 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,760 talked to a lot the second I climb out 260 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,519 of bed. Let me get my bearings here 261 00:09:51,519 --> 00:09:53,760 because I'm just no country boy and I I 262 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,519 don't move as fast as everybody else 263 00:09:55,519 --> 00:09:57,600 here. 264 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,200 We're talking about the 265 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,760 fact that he's not a morning person, 266 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:08,720 right? And he should respect that. And 267 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,240 let me talk let me let me be sure I got 268 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,000 it down right here because what actually 269 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,720 happened that you boil down to now you 270 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,880 need to know he's not a morning person 271 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,079 is that you got up that morning and you 272 00:10:20,079 --> 00:10:23,200 wanted some dope and you didn't have any 273 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,440 and it was in his room. So you go 274 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,399 banging on the door and break the door 275 00:10:28,399 --> 00:10:30,800 down to get in and then you knock his 276 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,040 teeth out because of that. But that's 277 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,040 not how it goes. He's just not mourning 278 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,000 people. You're right about that. 279 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,240 Well, you we we put everything together. 280 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,480 It doesn't happen like that. My bong was 281 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,000 out in the cold shed that I didn't want 282 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,920 to walk out to. I had my own marijuana, 283 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,079 so I walked in his room and grabbed it. 284 00:10:50,079 --> 00:10:52,240 Oh, well that quietly. Okay. Well, that 285 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,680 explains it. I didn't knock his door 286 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,680 down. And I did not knock, you know. So 287 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:58,480 you had no choice but to go get his off 288 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,720 the shelf. 289 00:11:01,839 --> 00:11:04,800 Okay. Well, now I get it. 290 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,440 So you knock his teeth out. Yeah. It 291 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,440 didn't happen that way. Um let's see. 292 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,440 When we when I got my teeth knocked out 293 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,160 that morning, let's see. I I went in his 294 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,320 bedroom or No, I had already been 295 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,720 punched. I already been punched because 296 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,240 he told me he was going to knock me the 297 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,959 out. So I told him to do it. Okay. And 298 00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:24,560 then he did it. He punched me in the 299 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,160 face and I made fun of him. Hang on a 300 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,000 second. Hang on a second. Now, you may 301 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,760 not respect their house, but you will 302 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,519 respect mine. And do not use that 303 00:11:31,519 --> 00:11:36,000 language in front of my audience. You 304 00:11:38,279 --> 00:11:40,480 understand? You want to try me? That's 305 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,760 the easy way to do it. You don't 306 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,079 disrespect these 307 00:11:43,079 --> 00:11:46,160 people. You got it. I got it. All we're 308 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,800 going to take a break. Teresa says the 309 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,040 twins refuse to go to counseling. Dan 310 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,200 says he isn't good at punishing. So, 311 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,320 we're going to find about all the 312 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,800 mistakes the parents may be making, and 313 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,200 I'm going to show you how to make sure 314 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,120 you're not setting yourself up to wind 315 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,240 up right here in this circumstance. 316 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,480 I've got Drew in the act more than once 317 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,720 in my house. Last year, I was having sex 318 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,040 on their bed and he comes walking down 319 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,120 the hall. The door was open. I came home 320 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,600 and Drew and his girlfriend were 321 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,600 actually in my bed going at it. Didn't 322 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,600 even hear him come in. I told him to get 323 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,079 up, get all the sheets and blankets off 324 00:12:22,079 --> 00:12:26,079 the bed, and get him in the washer. Now, 325 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,920 well, that was Dan talking about the 326 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,240 time he caught his teenage son in the 327 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,880 master bedroom with a girl. He and his 328 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,519 wife, Teresa, say, "These kids are just 329 00:12:35,519 --> 00:12:37,200 out of control. They don't know what to 330 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,440 do. I'm here with all of them, twins, 331 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,800 Drew and Dallas." Why his bed? Um 332 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,639 because I had a bunk bed at the time and 333 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,720 I really I couldn't, you know, I didn't 334 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,240 like to hit my back on the metal 335 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:54,279 bars and she didn't like to either. 336 00:12:56,839 --> 00:12:59,279 Okay. Why do you object to your brother 337 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,000 having friends? I don't like the kid he 338 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,680 hangs out with. And the kid starts 339 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,680 coming over every single day, staying 340 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,600 the night every single day, eating our 341 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,279 food for lunch, breakfast, dinner. And 342 00:13:09,279 --> 00:13:11,120 it's okay because he drives Dallas 343 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,120 around a little bit. Does he like your 344 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,200 friends? Um, Dallas, I don't have 345 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,160 friends. Why do you not have friends? 346 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,320 I don't know. I don't like to go hang 347 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,720 out with people. You do, too. You're 348 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,720 overwhelming for your friends. And you 349 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,120 want friends, and you want him to be 350 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:31,920 your best friend. That's the problem. 351 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:35,680 I want him. I know you want him. He 352 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,079 doesn't want you. Do you not? That's why 353 00:13:38,079 --> 00:13:39,360 counseling. Do you not like your 354 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,040 brother? 355 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,160 I like my brother. It's your anger, 356 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,880 Drew, that gets him. Oh, please, mother. 357 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,760 Please. I yell at him when he's calling 358 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:53,360 me. He eggs me on. I'm sorry. I have bad 359 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,839 mouth. Yes. 360 00:13:55,839 --> 00:13:57,440 You know, I don't have anger problems. I 361 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,399 let it out when I need to or when I when 362 00:14:00,399 --> 00:14:04,279 it's I feel it's it's an expression. 363 00:14:04,279 --> 00:14:06,800 It's not an emotion for me. It's an 364 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,279 expression. I show that I'm angry 365 00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:11,199 because he's he's made it that way for 366 00:14:11,199 --> 00:14:14,240 me. How he does that to me. He's hurt 367 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:18,079 you. Yeah. He makes me shake and freak 368 00:14:18,079 --> 00:14:19,480 out 369 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,800 like how much anger he makes me have. I 370 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,959 can't control it. He's like, he's the 371 00:14:24,959 --> 00:14:27,920 ticking time bomb with his attitude. 372 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,240 What is it like? Um, I don't know. 373 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,240 Instantly come to my room. Hey, smoke me 374 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,360 out right now. I got to go to work. 375 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:34,959 Smoke me out right now. It's like, no, 376 00:14:34,959 --> 00:14:36,160 I'm not going to smoke you out. If you 377 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,079 want to smoke, get your own stuff, you 378 00:14:38,079 --> 00:14:40,079 know? And then, and then if since I said 379 00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:41,800 no, then he's going to start throwing a 380 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,240 flip. Like, fine, you're never smoking 381 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,440 my stuff. You're never touching this 382 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,680 again. You know, I don't know. And it, 383 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,480 you know, I'm not. So, you're fighting 384 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,040 over drugs. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes 385 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,639 smoking pot doesn't bring me down at 386 00:14:54,639 --> 00:14:57,600 all. I mean, I I'm moving on. I I've got 387 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,560 my job in school. I've never missed a 388 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,639 credit. 389 00:15:02,639 --> 00:15:05,360 3.5 or above student since I've been in 390 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,519 elementary school. You know, big deal. I 391 00:15:07,519 --> 00:15:09,279 smoke a little pot. Don't bug me about 392 00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:11,000 it. It's on my own 393 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,680 time. Leave me alone. Why are you 394 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,560 crying? 395 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,800 I'm not proud of being a pot smoker. I 396 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,240 don't want all my friends to watch this 397 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,959 TV show and see me crying and talking 398 00:15:22,959 --> 00:15:25,440 about how much spot I smoke. I'm not 399 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:29,120 proud of it. Why do you do it? Cuz I 400 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,600 like it. I might not be proud of it, but 401 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,279 you know, that's why I try not to do it 402 00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:36,320 around some people, you know. 403 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,560 I don't know. I wouldn't be up here 404 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,639 smoking. You know, I didn't bring stuff 405 00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:42,800 with me in California. How about you? 406 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,680 What? I just feel 407 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,040 hurt being here talking about our 408 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,600 problems. 409 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,000 I like to walk past my problems and just 410 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,720 ignore them like they're not there. 411 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,759 Do you care at all what 412 00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:01,680 impact your choices and behaviors are 413 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,600 having on your parents? Do you care at 414 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,079 all? No, I don't feel my choices have an 415 00:16:06,079 --> 00:16:08,720 impact on them unless maybe I hit a 416 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,399 fence like this guy did or something 417 00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:12,959 that may cost him money. Me smoking pot 418 00:16:12,959 --> 00:16:14,399 and not getting caught by the law or 419 00:16:14,399 --> 00:16:16,880 anything that doesn't affect them. I'm 420 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,839 talking about the fact that they are so 421 00:16:19,839 --> 00:16:22,560 stressed out to the point that they just 422 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,560 want to run away that it's eating them 423 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,199 alive. The house is chaotic. Would you 424 00:16:27,199 --> 00:16:28,720 agree the house is chaotic? Yeah, it's 425 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,079 the screaming and yelling, not the 426 00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:32,720 violence. I don't before him hitting me. 427 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,399 When was the last time that happened? I 428 00:16:34,399 --> 00:16:36,959 don't know. Yeah, I couldn't tell you. 429 00:16:36,959 --> 00:16:39,120 We're the same age. He looks like me. 430 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,759 Have has the same friends as me. You 431 00:16:41,759 --> 00:16:44,079 live with You live with yourself. But 432 00:16:44,079 --> 00:16:45,600 this is this is like Tell me you 433 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,079 wouldn't hate that. 434 00:16:51,759 --> 00:16:54,639 No, I I I do not want to live with Dr. 435 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,120 Phil. I 436 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,480 All right, we're going to take a break. 437 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,160 Next. Whenever you have one member of 438 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,720 family who's out of control, they impact 439 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,400 everybody. They affect all the other 440 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,799 members of the family. 441 00:17:06,799 --> 00:17:09,280 I can't be treated this way anymore. I 442 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,120 don't know how much longer my wife can 443 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:13,439 take it. I cannot have my house wrecked 444 00:17:13,439 --> 00:17:16,000 any longer. I seem to have lost control 445 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,959 of my house and I need help getting it 446 00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:21,520 back. 447 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:22,959 Well, we're talking with Dan and Teresa 448 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,439 who say they've just lost control of 449 00:17:25,439 --> 00:17:27,280 their 16-year-old twins, Drew and 450 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,039 Dallas. And you guys say we just do what 451 00:17:29,039 --> 00:17:29,919 we want to do because we want to do it 452 00:17:29,919 --> 00:17:31,360 and it's nobody's business but ours, 453 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:34,240 right? Mhm. You know, you can go to jail 454 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,799 for illegal drugs, right? Yeah, but I 455 00:17:36,799 --> 00:17:39,679 plan on quitting that one day. I mean, I 456 00:17:39,679 --> 00:17:41,440 may do it now, but I'm not in jail, am 457 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:45,679 I? I'm on Dr. Phil. Yeah. I need you to 458 00:17:45,679 --> 00:17:49,679 quit now. All right. I've got a timeline 459 00:17:49,679 --> 00:17:51,679 of the twins behavior because you say 460 00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:54,160 this stuff just happens ever so often. 461 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,200 But in 2006, you vandalized an empty 462 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,360 house. Mhm. Okay. So, you were how old 463 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,000 at that time? I was in sixth grade. No. 464 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,440 Sixth and seventh grade. It was a 465 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,360 neighbor's house, right? And he he made 466 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,039 you mad. That neighbor whitewashed me. 467 00:18:07,039 --> 00:18:09,120 And you know what? He moved and you know 468 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,799 what? I thought that was payback. So you 469 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,960 went and vandalized his house. Yeah. 470 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,120 See, you say that like Yes, of course I 471 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,120 did. I didn't like him. So I went and 472 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:18,799 destroyed I know it was wrong. I know it 473 00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:20,559 was wrong and it was I don't go out with 474 00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:23,039 graffiti anymore. It's a crime. Yeah. Do 475 00:18:23,039 --> 00:18:25,200 I do it anymore? No. I don't know. Yeah. 476 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,120 When was the last time? 2007. Drew 477 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,200 breaks his hand fighting a kid at camp, 478 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,200 right? Kid punched me in the face. I 479 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,120 warned him if he if he did it again, I'd 480 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,919 beat his ass and he did it again. So 08, 481 00:18:35,919 --> 00:18:38,480 you you guys start smoking pot in '08, 482 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,640 right? So it's been three, four years or 483 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,039 was it before that? 08's when we first 484 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,559 started and then we quit for two years 485 00:18:44,559 --> 00:18:47,120 until 9th grade summer. 2010, Dan 486 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:50,240 catches Drew having sex in his bed. June 487 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,720 11, Dallas charged with reckless driving 488 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,120 and hit and run. You left the scene. 489 00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:58,480 Yeah. Why? Um I mean it was my first 490 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,640 wreck. I didn't I didn't know what to 491 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,039 do. I just left. I mean, it was wrong, 492 00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:05,760 but you know, next time I won't. So, you 493 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,160 lose your license and there's $10,000 in 494 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,160 fees and damages. Yeah. You know, I'm I 495 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,520 know. I know. I put them out of some 496 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,520 money for now. You know, they're getting 497 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,520 it back slowly. So, you destroyed the 498 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,600 fender on the car. And then in August of 499 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,360 11, you back into a moving car. $2,700 500 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,080 in damages. Then you break your hand 501 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,320 punching Dallas. That's the second time 502 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,760 you broke your hand. Yeah. No, you 503 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,440 didn't break your hand punching me. Yes. 504 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,039 No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. I had to 505 00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:34,600 have pins put in Dallas. Maybe. No, 506 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,720 Dallas. I punched you in the back of the 507 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:37,919 head when you were on the ground and I 508 00:19:37,919 --> 00:19:40,640 had pins put in my hand. Surgery. That's 509 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,880 obviously a broken hand. All right, 510 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,320 then. Then all right. Yeah, then you 511 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,600 broke your hand. Well, don't get in a 512 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,559 fight about it now. Then September 11, 513 00:19:48,559 --> 00:19:50,880 Dallas and Drew get high from illegal 514 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,480 mushrooms. Drew, you have to go to the 515 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:56,080 hospital, right? New Year's Eve, 2011, 516 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,160 Drew gets driven home by someone who 517 00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,880 didn't even have a driver's license. 518 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,720 January, Dallas knocks out a boy in gym 519 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:07,039 class. Yeah. So then you've broken down 520 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:11,280 his bedroom door twice, right? Yeah. And 521 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,640 then you got hit by a truck. Yeah. And 522 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,880 then you're admitted to the hospital for 523 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,880 alcohol poisoning. I went to the 524 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,799 hospital because I got hit by a truck. 525 00:20:20,799 --> 00:20:22,320 No. No, that's not. You were 526 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,160 unresponsive. They took me to shallow 527 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,679 breathing. Dallas, you were shallow 528 00:20:25,679 --> 00:20:27,200 breathing. It was shallow breathing 529 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,440 because I got hit by a truck. No. I was 530 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,360 walking home. I was completely fine that 531 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,720 night. I might I might have killed a 532 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,400 fist and had too much alcohol. But did I 533 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,200 get alcohol poisoning? No. 534 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,720 You did. Am I ever going to drink that 535 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,120 much again? No. But are you ever going 536 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,760 to drink again? Yeah. We'll see. You 537 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,679 just told me you were fine. I said we'll 538 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,360 see. You said you may have killed a 539 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,440 fifth. Yeah, I I killed a fifth of 540 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,240 vodka. Yes. 151 proof. And how much does 541 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,159 it weigh? 130. No, actually it wasn't 542 00:20:54,159 --> 00:20:57,679 151 proof. It was 80 proof. Well, I'm 543 00:20:57,679 --> 00:21:00,080 just saying 544 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,880 Dan and I were gone to a funeral and 545 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,120 while we were gone, Drew and Dallas ate 546 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,480 an overdose of 547 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,760 hallucinogenic mushrooms. He was 548 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,760 completely gone. My heart rate dropped 549 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,520 to like 41 beats per second or 550 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,039 something. I'm I'm holding him, shake 551 00:21:15,039 --> 00:21:16,919 his face, get him looking at eye 552 00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:20,960 contact. He's Dan and I drove 7 hours 553 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,280 back home straight to the hospital. We 554 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,720 found Drew in the hospital bed. 555 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,559 Well, that was Drew in Dallas talking 556 00:21:28,559 --> 00:21:30,559 about the night Drew went to the 557 00:21:30,559 --> 00:21:32,799 hospital after taking illegal drugs. 558 00:21:32,799 --> 00:21:34,000 These were mushrooms. Now, their 559 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,480 parents, Dan and Teresa, say they're 560 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:37,840 actually afraid to live in the same 561 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,440 house at this point because the twins 562 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,840 are so violent and out of control that 563 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,360 they've actually thought about just 564 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:46,000 running away. Do Do you all get that all 565 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,400 of this affects your your family? And I, 566 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:49,919 you know, I've got I wanted to show you 567 00:21:49,919 --> 00:21:53,480 something here. And I 568 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,720 I've you know, you guys think I you just 569 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,159 do what you want to do cuz you want to 570 00:21:58,159 --> 00:22:00,640 do it. And you think that's just me. 571 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,520 That's just me. I'm just out here and 572 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,000 that's just me. But what you don't 573 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,320 understand is your relationship with 574 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,360 each other. Then two of you are 575 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,960 together. But then when you two start 576 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,320 fighting, it creates absolute 577 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,159 chaos in the house. Every member of the 578 00:22:18,159 --> 00:22:20,240 house is is affected. Everybody's 579 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,280 moving. This one affects this one. This 580 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,280 one affects this one. This one affects 581 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,799 this one. And what you get is absolute 582 00:22:28,799 --> 00:22:30,960 chaos. And that's what your house is 583 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,039 like, right? Yes. And you two think, 584 00:22:33,039 --> 00:22:34,880 well, no, it's just us. We can get out 585 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,360 here and just do what we want to do. But 586 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:40,159 that's just simply not right. Everybody 587 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:41,960 affects everybody 588 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,799 else. And you wind up with chaos, which 589 00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:46,880 is exactly what you've got here. Nobody 590 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,520 in a family can move without affecting 591 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,159 the other people in the 592 00:22:51,159 --> 00:22:54,640 family. Everything interacts. Do you all 593 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,600 get what I'm saying? Oh yes. And you 594 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,240 enable these kids. I mean both of you 595 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:03,679 allow them to smoke pot. You have made 596 00:23:03,679 --> 00:23:06,720 the decision that that's okay. You make 597 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,039 empty threats. You you say yourself 598 00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:10,320 you're not good at it. You're not good 599 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,480 at punishing. You threaten to take the 600 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,400 keys and the cell phone, but you never 601 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:18,480 do. They know you don't. I have, but it 602 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,000 gets worse with people yelling 603 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,480 and pissed off and we get I don't know. 604 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,480 I get tired of listening to it. And so 605 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,559 you cave it. I'll cave. I cave cuz 606 00:23:28,559 --> 00:23:29,840 someone's going to get hurt and I'm 607 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,200 going to spend the whole night at the 608 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,080 hospital again. I work. I don't have 609 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,640 time to spend at the dentist and the 610 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,120 hospitals. Hey, they're your kids. I 611 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:41,200 don't know what to do. It has to stop. 612 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,720 They think it doesn't have any effect on 613 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,240 you. This just no problem. They're fine. 614 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:45,440 and they do what they want to do. It's 615 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,600 their life. They do it. Do y'all have 616 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,840 y'all ever heard the word empathy? We 617 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,520 went over the definition of that in 618 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,520 health like a couple weeks ago. In 619 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,720 health a couple weeks ago. Empathy is 620 00:23:55,720 --> 00:24:00,000 like a feeling of you can feel what 621 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,760 someone else is feeling or something 622 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,679 like that. Isn't it that's close? It 623 00:24:03,679 --> 00:24:06,039 means you have the 624 00:24:06,039 --> 00:24:08,200 ability, the 625 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:11,440 sensitivity, the maturity to say I can 626 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:16,640 understand and relate to how they feel. 627 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,600 And it means if your mother is 628 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:27,320 frantic and just so overroought and 629 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,000 upset because of whatever it might be. 630 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,520 If you were empathetic with her, you 631 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,039 could understand how she 632 00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:37,039 felt. And with that comes a measure of 633 00:24:37,039 --> 00:24:40,720 caring that you care what the impact is 634 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,200 on your mother or your father. If you 635 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,400 had empathy for your 636 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,600 brother, you would know that there are 637 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:51,039 certain things that really hurt him. I 638 00:24:51,039 --> 00:24:52,799 have empath empathy for everybody. I 639 00:24:52,799 --> 00:24:55,760 know what hurts and and so if you but if 640 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:59,760 you did unless you're just trying to be 641 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,760 mean and hurtful. That's exactly what it 642 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,200 is. Then you wouldn't do things that 643 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,880 would would cause pain in somebody that 644 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,960 you love and care about. Yeah. I do it 645 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,080 because he's hurt me. Oh, come I don't 646 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,159 know giving him back. Yeah. Yeah. So, 647 00:25:14,159 --> 00:25:16,000 that's a very reactive mode. That's not 648 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,640 a very mature mode. You know, a a mature 649 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,760 mode might be to sit down and have a 650 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,240 conversation where you said, "Look, when 651 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,520 you do this, it it really hurts me. So, 652 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,159 I'm going to ask you not to do that. And 653 00:25:30,159 --> 00:25:32,880 if there are things that I do that hurt 654 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,279 you, then I want you to tell me. And 655 00:25:35,279 --> 00:25:38,240 we're going to try to be more mature and 656 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,240 grow in this relationship." So it 657 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,000 doesn't get to the point where we're so 658 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,240 frustrated, so angry that we just, you 659 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,480 know, just want to knock the door down 660 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,480 or want to hit each other or call each 661 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,000 other names. And one thing we know is 662 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,760 that your brains aren't through growing 663 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,960 yet. They'll grow until you're 25. And 664 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,159 the last part of it that grows is the 665 00:26:02,159 --> 00:26:04,480 part that helps you predict the 666 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,159 consequences of your actions. And you 667 00:26:08,159 --> 00:26:09,919 there are certain things you can't see 668 00:26:09,919 --> 00:26:12,559 which is why you have to rely on your 669 00:26:12,559 --> 00:26:16,159 parents to do that. If you knew what I 670 00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:18,960 knew about smoking as much dope as 671 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,120 you're smoking at your age, you would 672 00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:23,840 probably throw up right now. Well, I 673 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,960 because it changes the neurology in your 674 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,480 brain. And I know you don't believe 675 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,360 that. Yeah, I know. But I have a 676 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:35,200 bachelor's, master's, and PhD. 677 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,760 And I spent an awful lot of time on 678 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,080 brain and central nervous system and I 679 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,880 do know that and I do read the research. 680 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,279 I do know the studies and you're just 681 00:26:45,279 --> 00:26:49,120 wrong. Yeah. You know, it's just I'll be 682 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:53,159 happy to. I am wrong. Big deal. I'm 683 00:26:53,159 --> 00:26:56,240 sorry. What' you say? Said I am wrong. 684 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,520 Big deal. Well, it is a big deal. See, 685 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,120 this is this is where the part comes in 686 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,640 where it's hard for you to understand 687 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,880 the consequences of your choices. You 688 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,960 say big deal. It isn't a big deal to you 689 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,720 right now, but it can be a big deal to 690 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,760 you later when you go, 691 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,080 "Wow, I I wish I hadn't done some of the 692 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,760 things that I've done." We're all in 693 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,720 that situation at some point or another. 694 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,720 You just hope that somebody's there to 695 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:27,120 contain you and and move you forward. 696 00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:30,159 Well, I'm back with Teresa, Dan, Drew, 697 00:27:30,159 --> 00:27:35,279 and Dallas, and I'm I'm really curious. 698 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:37,120 Do you think you have any responsibility 699 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,720 in the fact that this family is chaotic? 700 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:43,679 Um, no, I don't. He points to my anger 701 00:27:43,679 --> 00:27:46,240 problems. So, it's just if we could calm 702 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,120 him down. Yeah. I think I think if he 703 00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:50,400 didn't flip out about every little 704 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,320 thing, there'd be nothing wrong with us. 705 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,440 But using a little thing, you guys want 706 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,360 to do an experiment with me? Yeah. Okay. 707 00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:58,559 I want you guys to stand right here and 708 00:27:58,559 --> 00:28:00,159 face each other. Stand right here. 709 00:28:00,159 --> 00:28:01,440 You're here. You're good. You're right 710 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,679 here. Want you face each other. Okay. 711 00:28:03,679 --> 00:28:05,039 Now, I want you to look each other in 712 00:28:05,039 --> 00:28:07,440 the eye and don't look away. And Drew, I 713 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,159 want you to tell your brother what you 714 00:28:10,159 --> 00:28:13,520 say to yourself after he has called you 715 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,720 names and pushed you away. I want you to 716 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,440 tell him what you think and feel. It 717 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,399 hurts me. 718 00:28:22,399 --> 00:28:24,960 I don't like it at all and I want it to 719 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,960 stop. 720 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,679 Tell him how it hurts you. 721 00:28:31,679 --> 00:28:34,000 First kid to ever punch me in the face 722 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,080 made that name up and I don't like it. 723 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,960 Makes me think of 724 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,360 that. Dallas, look at him. Is that what 725 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,840 you want him to feel? I mean, do you 726 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,279 want him to go say, "Okay, I remember 727 00:28:53,279 --> 00:28:55,120 now that kid bullied me and hurt me, and 728 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,360 now my brother's doing it." I mean, is 729 00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,120 that is that your goal? Is that what you 730 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,440 want him to feel? Um, when I say, "Yeah, 731 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,279 that's how I want him to feel." Mhm. Cuz 732 00:29:05,279 --> 00:29:07,360 I think he deserves it. What you mean 733 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,520 when I say it? 734 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:10,640 How do you want him to feel about 735 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,360 himself overall? I think he should feel 736 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,399 good about himself. 737 00:29:16,399 --> 00:29:19,840 Be proud of yourself. 738 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,080 You ever done anything to him you're 739 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,320 sorry for? You ever sorry for hurting 740 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,240 his feelings? No. 741 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,320 Just don't care. Cuz at the time he 742 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,799 deserves it. 743 00:29:31,799 --> 00:29:34,640 Um I don't feel I hurt his feelings. I 744 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,799 feel he hurt heard himself. Doesn't 745 00:29:36,799 --> 00:29:38,399 matter what other people think about 746 00:29:38,399 --> 00:29:40,000 you. 747 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,399 I know. 748 00:29:42,399 --> 00:29:44,880 So why do you let the name bug you? It 749 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,399 doesn't bug me. It hurts me on the 750 00:29:46,399 --> 00:29:48,399 inside. And there's nothing I can do 751 00:29:48,399 --> 00:29:51,120 about it. The subject, I don't know how 752 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,919 many times I've displayed it to you. The 753 00:29:53,919 --> 00:29:57,720 subject hurts me. 754 00:30:00,850 --> 00:30:04,000 [Music] 755 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,559 Do you care that this is painful for 756 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:13,919 him? Why would I care? 757 00:30:13,919 --> 00:30:15,679 Because he's experiencing pain when he 758 00:30:15,679 --> 00:30:17,360 talks about it. I'm I'm experiencing 759 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,600 pain. I didn't ask about you. I asked 760 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,000 you about him. Oh, 761 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,000 yeah. 762 00:30:24,039 --> 00:30:26,880 Um I don't know. Do you wish he was 763 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,279 happy and self-confident instead 764 00:30:30,279 --> 00:30:33,279 of vulnerable and and painful? Yeah. I 765 00:30:33,279 --> 00:30:35,120 wish he was confident about himself and 766 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,360 wasn't so jealous of my friends. Doesn't 767 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:38,720 matter how many friends I have and how 768 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:40,080 many friends you have. I'm not jealous 769 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,320 of your friends. It pisses me off when 770 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,200 people tell me that cuz I'm not. Okay. I 771 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:46,120 have my 772 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,960 own. I don't only have one friend. I 773 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,559 have one friend that I enjoy to go over 774 00:30:50,559 --> 00:30:53,039 to his house. The rest of them I hate. I 775 00:30:53,039 --> 00:30:56,080 don't like people. 776 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,320 So you disrespect my friends. I don't 777 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,440 like them. So they disrespect me in my 778 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,320 own household. They your attitude, how 779 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:08,159 you treat me, they think they can. 780 00:31:08,159 --> 00:31:10,080 Well, you know, sometimes when I got my 781 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,320 friends in my room out, it doesn't 782 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,399 matter if I stay out. 783 00:31:14,399 --> 00:31:17,679 I'm still the pe your piece of brother. 784 00:31:17,679 --> 00:31:19,200 Yeah. 785 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,120 Well, because you know why you are? 786 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:22,720 Because you're throwing a fit the whole 787 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,360 time my friends are over. No, I'm not. 788 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,240 Yeah, you are 789 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,840 jealous. True. You're jealous. I'm not 790 00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:31,960 jealous. You want Dallas to 791 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:36,240 yourself. You do. You do. I don't want 792 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,840 his friend staying the night every night 793 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,519 cuz there's no need. You want to be with 794 00:31:39,519 --> 00:31:41,440 him all the time. No, I'd like to see my 795 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:45,120 brother alone every once in a while. 796 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,559 Okay, I'm getting ready to send you guys 797 00:31:52,559 --> 00:31:57,000 off. Do you have any questions for me? 798 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:02,640 Um, like to get your autograph after the 799 00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:07,039 show. Get your autograph after. 800 00:32:07,039 --> 00:32:09,279 AJ, if you would take these two for me, 801 00:32:09,279 --> 00:32:10,880 please. Let them spend some time 802 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:13,880 together. 803 00:32:14,399 --> 00:32:16,720 You have any questions for me? Can you 804 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,480 help them? 805 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:22,480 No, I I can't I I can't help them. Can 806 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,200 you help us? I can help this family. 807 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:30,919 Yeah. But the the problem is not them. 808 00:32:33,559 --> 00:32:36,799 And real real seriously, I want y'all to 809 00:32:36,799 --> 00:32:39,120 hear what I'm saying now. Um, it's not 810 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:42,559 too late for these boys. They're both 811 00:32:42,559 --> 00:32:44,320 intelligent 812 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,760 and they're both 813 00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,679 articulate and they're both damaged. 814 00:32:49,679 --> 00:32:54,799 Drew is in a lot of pain and it 815 00:32:54,799 --> 00:32:57,039 expresses in anger, but it's just below 816 00:32:57,039 --> 00:32:59,519 the surface and he wants more than 817 00:32:59,519 --> 00:33:02,880 anything to be accepted by his brother. 818 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,679 But his 819 00:33:04,679 --> 00:33:10,320 brother is kind of moving away from him 820 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,640 because he finds his brother to be kind 821 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:16,880 of needy. Yes. And he has kind of a cool 822 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,480 and aloof way of dealing with 823 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,000 things. Um, you know, are you sorry when 824 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,600 you say things that you know hurt your 825 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,600 brother? Yeah. 826 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,519 Yeah. He's being honest. He's just 827 00:33:27,519 --> 00:33:29,600 telling you that at that point I'm being 828 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,320 honest. The biggest problem those boys 829 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,480 have got is you. 830 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,559 And I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be ugly 831 00:33:36,559 --> 00:33:39,279 or rude. The time for you to have 832 00:33:39,279 --> 00:33:42,320 intervened with these boys and made 833 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,720 certain that you got them to respect 834 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,519 authority and respect boundaries and 835 00:33:47,519 --> 00:33:48,600 respect 836 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,960 themselves was when they were three, 837 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,480 four, and five years old. And two things 838 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,840 need to happen. I I think they are on 839 00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,720 the cusp of serious problems in their 840 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:05,519 lives. And I what I would do is I would 841 00:34:05,519 --> 00:34:09,040 take the opportunity to put both of them 842 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:12,320 in separate schools somewhere away from 843 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,800 the two of you and away from each other 844 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,040 at this point. I would put them in a 845 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,320 residential therapeutic school at this 846 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,240 point. 847 00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:24,119 And while they were 848 00:34:24,119 --> 00:34:27,879 gone, I would work the two of you so 849 00:34:27,879 --> 00:34:31,560 hard on redefining your definition of 850 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:35,040 parenting and boundaries and, you know, 851 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,839 setting a a an environment for these 852 00:34:37,839 --> 00:34:41,040 kids to return to that you would do as 853 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,879 much work as they did while they were 854 00:34:42,879 --> 00:34:45,440 gone. You have allowed this to advance 855 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,919 to the point that it is now beyond the 856 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:50,399 ability to fix in the home. Mhm. They've 857 00:34:50,399 --> 00:34:53,839 got to go outside the home and they're 858 00:34:53,839 --> 00:34:56,560 very likely to resist that and I'm 859 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,200 willing to make that available to you, 860 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,880 but the parents have to be out of the 861 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,720 loop. That's the only way that it that 862 00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:07,400 it works. They need to be in a highly 863 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,480 structured controlled environment. If 864 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:12,320 not, I would predict both of them are 865 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,320 going to wind up in prison. Yes. Because 866 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:15,920 they have no respect for boundaries. 867 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,760 They have no respect for authorities. 868 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:22,000 And this is our gift to your family. But 869 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,760 you you have to do the work while 870 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,560 they're gone. When they get there, the 871 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,359 success rate is incredibly high. And 872 00:35:29,359 --> 00:35:31,520 when they're gone, you got to figure out 873 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:32,720 how we're going to have to completely 874 00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:35,119 redefine this. We're more than happy to 875 00:35:35,119 --> 00:35:37,200 do that. Dr. Bill, do you have a story 876 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,599 or a question for me? Click the link in 877 00:35:39,599 --> 00:35:42,000 the description and tell me what in the 878 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,720 world is going on.62578

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