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And now, the comedy of Stiller and Meara.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, we live in a very unpredictable age.

Anything could happen.

Jerry and I, we'd like to show you what might happen

when the last two people left in the world meet for the first time.

- Hi! - Hello!

- Boy, am I glad to see you! - Am I glad to see you!

Boy, that was something.

Yeah, I've been looking all over. There's nobody.

- I thought there was just me. - Me too.

- Boy, are we lucky! - You're not kidding.

- I never expected it. - Yeah!

Well, my horoscope said, "Don't make any plans."

Did you see what happened to Sixth Avenue?

Yeah, and they just finished repaving it.

Well, I guess it's up to us.

I said, I guess it's up to us now.

What do you mean?

Well, I guess the pressure is really on us now.

You know, to get things started again.

Oh, yeah! You're right. We got a lot to do.

I mean, we gotta rebuild, clean up, plant vegetables.

Yeah. That too.

But I was thinking, you being the last woman

and me being the last man,

we've got something even more important to do than…

that.

We gotta make things.

You know, little things.

- You mean arts and crafts? - No, no, no. I was thinking of…

Of people. We gotta make little people.

What was it like growing up in that kind of showbiz family?

Your dad and mom, what were they like?

We absolutely, here on this show, adore your mother and father.

- The great Stiller and Meara. - Stiller and Meara.

Parents of this young boy.

Oh, Anne and Jerry! Stiller and Meara. You're their little boy.

Your father is the funniest character on Seinfeld,

- hands down. - I, well… I agree.

Gives a pow on the top of his head. It's a scream.

Are you gonna ever bring your parents in?

- Oh, well… into what? Into like-- - Anything.

Tell me what your parents gave you as an entertainer?

- Hello, how are you? - Hi.

- Hi. - Are you… Are you doing…

- I knew this was gonna happen. - That's why I mic'd you. Yeah.

- Is this cinéma-vérité? - Yes.

Amy and Benjy.

- I got almost-- - Hi!

Oh, my.

Gee, look who got daddy's curly hair?

That's right, and hers is natural.

- You laugh at Mommy and Daddy? - Yeah.

You think they're funny?

This is like-- This is Anne and Jerry. I love this picture.

Do they rehearse at home?

So many great pictures.

Do they try them out on you kids?

How dare you exploit my children. You just wanna pry into my private life.

No, I just wondered if you ever did bits…

Do you have any ideas about getting into the business?

Are either of you musical?

Or do you do funny things like your mom and dad?

Amy?

Well, I mean, the opening is just kinda walking into the apartment and…

- Yeah. - But there's no real context for it.

And I'm just thinking, what, the opening of the movie could be…

Maybe, since we're selling the apartment, it's us going through everything.

Or…

Maybe the idea of this question. Maybe you see the opening,

and then it's, like, us here. And then…

the question, like, "Why are you even making the movie?"

Yeah, like what's…

- Me asking you? - Yeah.

Okay.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Are we… We're on camera, so shall I do it now?

Sure.

Bla-bla-bla…

So, Ben…

Quiet please.

Five, four, three, two…

If it's about us,

Stiller and Meara.

How two people who have…

It's not just that they work together,

but we wanna show what happens that when they do work together

they turn off on one another.

- Just get out. Get out! - Get out?

- Get out? - Yes.

Of course. Why didn't I think of it before? You want me to get out…

I think it can go in any direction at that point. It can go either--

I think we have to stick with Anne and Jerry, Jerry and Anne.

They're not superstars.

They're just performers who are known to the public through the tube.

And they're married and they have the kids,

and they try to do their best with both worlds.

When my dad died in 2020,

my mom had been gone for about five years.

And my career had been going along for a long time,

but things actually weren't great in my personal life.

I just felt out of balance and unhappy, and kind of disconnected…

from my family,

from my kids, and just, kind of, a little bit lost.

Wow, that's actually really nice.

No, don't film me.

And I started to think about my parents, and…

all the stress and tension I remember seeing as a kid.

And the pressure when they were working together.

And how they stayed together through it.

We will stay together.

- I think you're… - I know that now.

There was a time I didn't know it, but I know it now.

I think I wanted to somehow understand how they did it.

Oh, wow.

- It's all cassettes. - Yeah.

- Jerry, as you know, taped everything. - Wow.

I mean, this is all of the truth of our lives.

That's incredible.

Over the years you mean?

This is insane. "Amy and Benjy talk." "Benjy and Amy talk."

Let me ask you something, Benjy. What do you like to do the most with Amy?

Can't believe he taped everything.

Play Happy Face.

- What is Happy Face, Benjy? - A game.

He always had to record, you know, whether it was personal…

But it drove me crazy at the time, for sure.

I think it drove Anne crazy, too.

"You're making these tapes, Jerry, that nobody's ever gonna hear.

They're just gonna pile up when you die," she would say.

Well, she wasn't wrong.

Where exactly do you live in New York?

We live on Riverside Drive, Mike.

- And… - Yes.

We have three minutes of home movies.

Do you know how to do this, honey?

It's on norm, I gotta throw it on to low. Do you put the lights out first?

- Or do we show-- - Don't worry about the lights.

I knew we were gonna have to sell the apartment that we grew up in,

and my first instinct was to film it.

I don't know if that's weird or not.

It's just what my dad always did.

You know, I'm studying films now. That is I learn about how films are made.

And that includes editing, it includes the taking of the pictures,

the making of the pictures, how to put it together. Like, just--

That's a bird on the table. A pigeon.

Real home movies, folks.

We're not trying to show you anything you wouldn't see in your own home.

Oh, it broke again. It broke again. Hold it.

I have always felt like your family is an anomaly

because everything is documented.

I didn't want no pictures. No pictures.

No pictures.

There was something in him that didn't wanna let go of anything.

I think Jerry has a need

to keep his name going. And for some reason he thinks

that when we check out and pass over,

that the Smithsonian Institute is gonna want his memorabilia.

Once we know what you guys wanna keep,

- the pictures, the clothes… - Yeah.

…we know what we can give

to the national comedy center, for the collection.

I mean, it's insane what he kept.

The form for the 63rd Street Y family day membership.

A scuba diving mask.

I'm like…

Ah, man.

He even saved this article about how a sure summer hit missed.

"Reviewers found the film disconcertingly unfunny."

Ouch.

This is interesting. So there's…

From the Windermere Hotel in Binghamton, New York

to Miss Anne Meara,

11 Cornelia Street.

"Tuesday. Dearest Annesie,

It's awfully tough to start this letter.

I'm sitting on the steps of the porch looking at Charles Island,

and it's hazy and I miss you so much, sweetheart.

There, I said something."

We met in 1953, and in September '53 we got married.

I said, "You can't sleep over any more unless you marry me."

And he did because he liked sleeping over, I guess.

"To Kid Meara, I miss you, my baby. Miss you, miss you, miss you.

Oh, how I love you."

"Honey, you must forgive my not calling you.

I know you probably waited around for hours.

I'm just dying to touch you, feel you, my sweetheart."

"Anne, I just read over what I've written up to now.

It seems that if you just roll through it, you could never get what I really meant.

So, sweetheart I'm gonna tell you exactly how to read the beginning of this letter:

After morning phone call, Tuesday. Jokingly."

"To Kid Meara. With emotion. I miss you. Possessively.

My baby. Miss you, miss you. Emphasize esses.

Miss you." It's, like, a whole thing.

It's so crazy.

Kind of amazing. I never knew these…

I know, and I love the, "Honey, honey."

We were just two people who were trying to make it in the theater.

And we kind of fell into each other's lives,

because nobody else believed in us.

"Jerry, you wonderful nut.

You didn't have to explain the first part of your letter to me.

Believe me, I got it.

But, my sweetheart, I'm glad you did explain it

because the stage directions were great."

"Jerry, you said you were dying to touch me.

To feel me.

Well, my own dear man, I am dying to be touched. To be felt.

To be… 'blank' by you."

That's pretty good.

Let me see… Wait, let me look at that.

Oh.

Our marriage was fragmented. We didn't see each other.

We didn't know who we were. We'd spend money on the telephone.

"I love you so much, my darling. Jerry."

"I miss you so much. Anne."

Wow.

It forced us to really bring ourselves to do something together.

That's great.

Jerry always wanted to do a comedy act.

And I always was very haughty about that.

I looked down on comedy.

That stage of my life, I was a very serious acting student.

I carried Eleonora Duse's life under one arm.

An Actor Prepares, Stanislavski, under the other.

Even later, as she got older,

she always wanted me to do more serious stuff, you know,

I would do something like Night at the Museum or Dodgeball.

I've never seen a resume quite like yours.

All right!

That wasn't a compliment.

She'd be like, "Yeah, but I like Permanent Midnight. Or Greenberg."

- She really liked Greenberg. - Like that was the sell-out stuff?

- Sort of. It felt like that to me. - Yeah.

The irony of that was your mom was so good at comedy.

Yeah, and she could ad lib.

She just was naturally great at live performing.

Yeah.

In a way that he had to work at much more.

We wanted to do comedy.

I always liked acting more, but he always thought I was funny.

I myself always felt that Anne was the…

well, let's say, she was the strength of the act.

My dad grew up as a kid watching vaudeville.

Eddie Cantor or Jack Benny.

And as much as he wanted to be, you know, the funny guy,

he saw how naturally gifted Anne was.

He admired her so much as a performer.

You know, he really kind of needed her.

- He really did pull her into comedy. - Yeah.

And at that time, the thought occurred

we could put something together and make a name and a living for ourselves.

You see, this is a thing we call a tape recorder, Amy.

So if you'd like to sing a song, we can record the song on the tape.

- You wanna sing a song? - Yeah.

Look at that. "I went in hospital 3 p.m.

and gave birth to baby girl at 7:48 p.m.

Amy Belle Sawyer Stiller was born today."

Wow.

That's crazy, she wrote that on the day you were born?

Sing "Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ral."

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral

"She's beautiful. Jerry came up by train.

Was here 10 a.m. He is so very happy.

Had to leave at 1 p.m. to get back in time to do a 5:30 p.m. show."

When we'd had a baby,

the whole need to succeed was very, very important in our life.

I was so scared to not make enough money to have a family.

I think the need for success for him

was as much about creative expression as it was about security for the family.

He was a very loving person.

And he… he wanted to be loved.

'Cause I don't think he got that kind of nurturing as a kid.

My father, when I told him I wanna be an actor, said,

"Why don't you become a stagehand?

Where do you get off trying to be Eddie Cantor,

or Jack Benny or George Burns? You have no right to do that."

I watched my parents literally trying to survive the Depression.

My father was a cab driver first, then he became a bus driver.

What was the name of the company?

Do you remember the name?

- New York City Omnibus. - That's right.

- I worked for the City. - Yeah.

I dropped out. I could have been an actor, whatever, I never made it.

I wanted to be an actor.

So what did you do? Did you go up on the stage

and give it a try?

I tried once, I think. Once or twice. I don't remember.

Yeah. I had talent. I have talent. Yeah.

What happened? What made you stop?

I don't know. I didn't feel like I can do it.

- I got along just the same. - You made ends meet, right?

That's right, yeah. Whatever it was, I took it. That's all.

What's the use complaining about it?

My mother and father had these horrible fights.

Always about the money.

Always about the money.

A lot of times I was hiding under the bed.

'Cause I was so scared, and Jerry would just zoom me out.

Jerry was very good to me.

He was the father image of all three of us.

Jerry protecting me and Arnold at the time.

Very protective.

- Yes, always. Always. - Yeah.

- Jerry just wanted out. - Right.

And the only way out at that time was joining the service.

My dad's jacket from the army.

Which one?

And when he came on back, he went to Syracuse University.

He became very involved in the acting then.

I think the comedic actors he loved when he was a kid,

were such an escape for him, and his sister and his brother.

And in the theater, he found this home.

Before his mom died, he took her to see the marquee of The Golden Apple,

which was the play that he was in on Broadway.

She just didn't say anything.

But she did say, "You stunk,"

when she saw him in a play in school or something?

Just horrible.

"I said to Anne,

'You know when they ask me if my parents ever encouraged me,'

I'll say, 'There was nothing to encourage.

The truth is my father never said anything to encourage me.

I did it all by myself.'"

That's right.

"'Maybe,' she said, 'they were fearful.

They didn't wanna see you get hurt.'

Suddenly I could feel the truth. Anne was right.

They didn't wanna see me hurt. Humiliated."

Mamma… Did you have a good time tonight? I mean…

Did you have a good time? I mean, did you…

Joel, did I have a good time? I'm overwhelmed.

I mean, you know, it's been so long. When you called up yesterday on the phone,

I said, "Joel who?" you know?

We started to play in the village and little coffee houses

and stuff like that.

You can imagine how I felt

when, poof, out of the blue, you take me to dinner and a show.

- Yeah. - I figured, "What's up?"…

They came up with a sketch in their living room,

you know, 20 blocks up Broadway,

that then they were gonna, you know, do on stage here

that would be beamed out to the rest of the world.

The town coordinator came down and saw us.

And he liked us, and they hired us for a shot.

One shot on Ed Sullivan.

Looking at the marquee coming up there. Wow, imagine that,

saying, you know, "Ed Sullivan Theater, Stiller and Meara, Rolling Stones."

And now, here he is, live from New York, Ed Sullivan.

Kind of puts a lump in your throat to think about it.

The time Ed Sullivan was on,

there would be generations of grandparents, parents, children,

all watching one show.

The Ed Sullivan Show was watched

by something like 20 or 30 million people every week.

Does this feel natural and relaxed?

Is this good? Is this how we planned it?

- Hi. Good to see you. - How's it going, man?

It was live from New York, you know,

before Saturday Night.

They first said, "Do you wanna move into The Ed Sullivan Theater?"

My answer was, "Is it intimidating to be in the Ed Sullivan Theater?"

Now, ladies and gentlemen, The Supremes.

Yes, that's right, Elvis Presley!

The Beatles!

I mean, this was the apex of show business.

Yes.

My mom talked about how nervous she would be

coming out of that dressing room upstairs.

The walk to the elevator

which went down to the stage and how she wanted to throw up.

Everybody was busy throwing up in the wings.

If we were smart, we would've taken drugs, I'm telling you.

It's a whole lot of pressure.

I'm curious how you even… Do you think about that? Because…

I always think, "You only have one chance to do these jokes, so don't fuck it up."

- Right. - I mean, like,

I slap myself in the face, hard. Twice.

Are you serious?

- Like this. Ready? - Yeah.

- Oh, is that it? - That's it.

Yeah.

This was it for them.

And if they did well, he'd invite you back the next week.

Thank you.

This team you're about to meet, they're completely novel.

They have a completely new approach to comedy.

He now directs and produces season two of Severance.

Please welcome back to The Late Show…

Jerry Stiller is the young fellow

and the girl, Anne Meara. So let's have a nice welcome for 'em.

Jerry Stiller and…

We are witnessing

one of the greatest human interest stories of all times.

This man had been entombed alive for 24 hours

in the abdominal cavity of a giant whale.

What is your name?

Jonah.

Strange ironic twist that this man sitting before us

should bear the same name as one who long ago endured a similar fate.

Go right ahead, Mr. Jonah.

Somebody else this happened to here before me?

Long time ago, sir.

This is some place, this California.

It was quite a while ago, Mr. Jonah.

If it happened before, it'll happen again.

- I don't think you understand, sir. - They should rope it off.

- I'm sure they should. - You don't leave a place like this open!

They started doing The Ed Sullivan Show in '63.

And then, he invited them back and they kept coming back.

I'd just been born, they'd just moved to this new apartment on Riverside Drive.

I think they paid 11,000 dollars for it.

The Sullivan Show, it hung over our head.

We had to come up with six minutes and they had to be funny.

- And you wrote it all yourselves? - Oh, yes.

It was, all of sudden, security.

But the flipside of it was they had to do it every time.

'Cause every time an Ed Sullivan date was in the offing,

we had two weeks to get ready to have new material.

Mrs. Claus… Mrs. Claus…

Well, we ran out of premises, you know?

We had a guy and a tall girl, and we had the boss and the wife.

We had Anne playing Mrs. Santa Claus…

- Oh, that elf had a crummy mouth on him. - I see.

- No sense of meshuggenah. - What, Mrs. Claus?

It's an Eskimo word I picked up in the neighborhood.

I see.

These became their famous signature sketches.

- Like Computer Dating. - Right. Wow.

The idea of playing ourselves from our ethnic backgrounds

had never come up before.

They did this sketch which was computer dating,

which had just been invented. And the sketch was

that a Jewish guy and an Irish Catholic girl get put together.

And that was Jerry's idea.

And so we went home and we created Hershey Horowitz and Mary Elizabeth Doyle.

Here's a wonderful team

and they have a… something they're gonna do for you right now

I think it'll go down as an all-time classic.

The team of Stiller and Meara expressing this spirit.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

I'm Hershey Horowitz.

I'm Mary Elizabeth Doyle.

"Doyle?"

"Horowitz?"

Horowitz.

H-O-R-O-W-I-T-Z.

- Oh. - Hershey.

People who had seen us break it in and rehearse, would say,

"Well, it would never go on, because it doesn't relate to the entire country."

And no one had ever done anything like that before.

You have brothers and sisters?

- Three brothers. - Oh.

Bach, Buzi and Saul.

- Bach? - Bach.

- Ba-ch. - No. Bach.

Bach. Excuse me.

That was the one that resonated, I guess.

And certainly with Ed Sullivan, because he was Irish

and his wife was Jewish, Sylvia.

When we finished that sketch, he was over there

and his beautiful blue eyes were crying, they were weeping.

He couldn't get over the…

And this ended up being the iconic sketch for them.

We did reach a…

Pinnacle?

Yeah, that's good.

The Ed Sullivan Show for us,

made it much easier to go out and play nightclubs

and command a decent salary.

It's their own style of comedy. Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara.

Here they are.

They booked us into Cleveland, Detroit,

Milwaukee, Chicago.

The comedy of Anne Meara and Jerry Stiller.

That's the best piece of comedy material

I've heard in a long, long time.

They're married in real life. He is Jewish and she's Irish.

They're for real.

They started to work a lot.

People knew them, they were famous.

And Jerry loved it.

He loved to be recognized,

happy to sign autographs,

happy to have the accolades.

Jerry, what bothers you more?

When somebody criticizes your performance and you thought it was good,

or when somebody raves about your performance

- and you thought it was terrible? - When somebody criticizes me…

You got it. That's it. Everybody got it.

This success was really, really important to him.

My mom cared about the work but it didn't define her.

Do you wanna know, when you come off stage?

- I'm just curious. - No, I really think…

I-I don't seek it out.

He put himself out there.

I think sometimes it drove my mother crazy.

He would love to connect with the fans, right?

They'd be having a conversation, somebody would come over,

"Jerry, I love you!"

And my mother would be like, "We're talking."

And my dad would be like, "Tell me about your children."

Right. No, yeah.

I remember this one time I literally was on the street

talking to him about the fact

that I felt like he didn't pay enough attention to us

and while we were talking, somebody on the street

came over and said, "Jerry, I love your work."

And he started talking to the guy.

That's actually hilarious, because just a few weeks ago,

we were all out at a restaurant and I'd been stressed about college stuff

and the people there wanted to get, like, a picture with you.

And I just remember I was so frustrated,

like, the world just has to stop to get this picture.

- You know what I mean? - I think I got more of my dad in me

- than my mom. - Right. Than your mom. Exactly!

- Can I ask you a favor? - Yeah.

- Can I say goodnight to Amy and Benjy? - You better.

Goodnight, Amy and Benjy.

When Mom and Dad were away to LA

to do some… whatever, game show or talk show,

first of all, we'd miss them when they were gone.

But I remember that being so much fun.

- 'Cause we would stay up late… - Yeah.

…and we'd have our, like, secret knocking on the wall.

Yeah.

Hit it.

Bonne nuit.

Bonne nuit, finalement.

- Buh-buh-buh! - B-b-b-b…

And then I'd be like, "Bam!"

- It was like our own little world. - Yeah.

Our building was its own ecosystem because it was so big.

It was a lot of, kind of, going back and forth

between people's apartments

so you go up and down the elevators, or you go up and down the stairs.

And it was, you know, the '70s

so definitely less gentrified and less safe.

And there was a real sense of community.

So all my friends were in the building.

Adam Max. His dad was Peter Max, the artist.

We'd go up there and Peter would have all these really interesting people over.

Like the Swami Satchidananda

and all these kinda hip, groovy '70s people.

There was a lot of creative energy in the building and…

I started to pick up a camera the way my dad always did.

Making my own movies.

Good evening. This is "The Benjamin Stiller Hour".

Intermission.

My dad got me a Super 8 camera.

Got me editing equipment.

For me, it became sort of a safe harbor.

When they were away or fighting…

or weren't focusing on us because they were working so much…

it was something to fall into.

Hard thing to imagine the apartment's not gonna exist anymore.

Basically, whenever it is that you decide, "Okay, we've got this stuff out",

realtors are gonna say,

"Okay, let's clear it out and let's stage it."

It's not a reality… I'm not in touch with it right now.

- Yeah. And that's, to me… - To be honest.

…what's really gonna, kind of, really make everything feel real.

- Exactly. - It's just this place not being here.

Very few people are lucky enough to find together

what they dream about as kids.

Frankly, I mean, we're very fortunate

to find our love and our happiness in the work that we do.

And we get a great charge out of making it happen.

I remember there was a folding, white accordion door.

Oh, I had to be able to do all things.

Wife, lover, sweetheart, pal, cook. Then you say, "Well, I'll do the cooking."

And when that door was closed, they were working.

And that was time to not bother them.

Sometimes hearing laughter, sometimes hearing raised voices.

Never knowing if that was real or them rehearsing something.

She's the funniest woman in the world off stage and on stage.

Now, the thing is, when she does these funny things, I am being…

I am an exploiter, an opportunist.

I'll take a pencil and start to write it down. The minute I do that…

He'll say, "We can use that on a show." And I'm ready to kill him.

I said-- Again, where does the act end and the marriage begin?

I hate you.

You hate me? I hate you.

You don't know what hate is, the kind of hate I have for you.

My hate for you is such a hate…

such a hot hate.

I hate you with hot, heaping hunks of hate.

We have a sketch we call "Hate".

The heat of your hot hate…

I say to Anne, "I hate you." And she says, "You hate me? I hate you."

And one day, Amy, who's six, came into the room

and she heard us saying this to each other and we looked at her for a moment

and we didn't know what to say, so we said,

"Amy, Mommy-Daddy rehearse. Mommy-Daddy rehearse."

And Amy looked at us and she started to smile.

Well, about two weeks later, we were fighting.

Amy walked in and she said…

"Mommy-Daddy rehearse?" "No, Mommy-Daddy fight."

- "Get outta here!" - It gets to be a little complicated.

- I hated you before I met you. - I hated you before you were born.

To me, that's one of the things that I think about

is just how that became, sort of, like,

"Yeah, that's the laugh. That's the funny joke."

But what is the reality of that story, though?

We don't know, Ben.

That's why we're so messed up. That's why…

That's why we're doing this documentary?

We're gonna figure it out by going through this stuff.

Anne and Jerry live in a large apartment on the West Side

with their daughter, Amy, and son, Benjy.

Much of their comedy material begins at home.

Apparently, this is one marriage where there is no communications problem.

- I-- - He doesn't even pick up his underwear

on the floor. He doesn't.

This is the way you talk

in front of these people here in New York City?

I mean, where were you raised, that…

If you're an artist, you don't worry about underwear.

- You don't worry about things like… - What am I? Chopped liver?

But what is important is that Anne and Jerry

put family life first and show business second.

It's 1976, and I'm filming my son Benjy coming down the hill.

To about three miles an hour on this madness of life.

Do you ever have any aspirations of being in theater or…

What the hell is this gizmo here?

I'm Ben Stiller, doing the voiceover for this whole show.

Whatever happened to the sweet little old Alice

we once knew in Wonderland?

It's a very early hour. It's 6:30 in the morning

I'm going back to sleep. Goodbye.

You know, you grow up around these very unique theater people.

Yeah.

Always up to, like, do weird improvisations and stuff.

ABC Sports, interviewing the great Italian diver.

I know I'm gonna win because I got my lucky shirt on.

- Let-Let's see you dive. - Are you kiddin'?

- Commercial! Quick. - Cut! Cut!

When we were kids, he would do crazy characters.

I feel like you do that, too.

- I love that we do that. - I do, too. That's who we are.

Well, I better get going now.

Aw, we love you, Mr. Apple.

Oh, one more thing. The name's Mr. Anaragreenapopo.

Daddy, can you do that one more time, except louder?

Anaragreenapopo.

Benjy, your mother says

that she'd like you maybe to grow up to be a big producer

and then you could give her and your dad starring roles.

Would you hire these two?

- No. - You wouldn't? Benjy.

- What is this? - What is it? Yeah.

Boy, how fast they forget!

Well, I would hire somebody else.

- Why? - Why?

It'd be hard to work with you.

So, Benjy, would you cast your parents in… in your movies?

Well, no.

- Why not? - Well, I don't think I'd cast them.

Well, I think they'd be rather hard to work with.

I think I would cast somebody else.

I didn't sound like that.

Well, see, the movie I was gonna make, they wouldn't be right for it.

It's… It wouldn't…

How would you like to work for the State Department?

No, why? What's the movie about?

I'll be making adventure or a murder or something like that, but never comedy.

I don't like comedy. I don't like comedy.

I'm Ben, I'm Ben It's my show, yo

"Fox's new Sunday night show, The Ben Stiller Show,

premiering tomorrow night at 7:30 on Channel 5

is… is a feeble collection of film sketches,

starring a comic clearly not ready for prime time."

"You too can get probably get your own TV show like Ben Stiller

if you come from a showbiz family.

His parents are likeable comics, Anne Meara and Jerry Stiller."

"Offspring of a Comedy Line."

You know, for me, going out trying to have my own career,

so much of it was tied into my parents.

They just cast a very big shadow.

Both as entertainers, actors, comedians. But then just also as people.

And I think for a long time, I felt like it was so much to live up to.

Part of me really wanted

- to just distance myself from them. - Yeah.

Oh, Mr. Munster.

I'm laughing as you're saying that

because you're so contradicting yourself

because one of them or both of them were always in things you did.

Because I wasn't stupid. They were funny.

Even in my audition tape for Saturday Night Live…

Look, Ma, big favor, big favor.

I got a writer in there who's all dried up.

I got a lot of material I need.

- You talked so fast. - Start again.

- What is this? - That's old stuff.

- Daddy and I did that a long… - Stiller and Meara stuff?

- Yeah, on The Sullivan Show, honey. - This is good.

- No, it's not. - Wait a minute.

It's 30 years old. It's not pertinent.

I was using them completely.

In case you just joined us, we're spending a day in my life.

One of the sketches we did on the show

was us all going to family therapy together.

I come from a show business family…

We actually did go to therapy.

It's my life.

Okay, I'd like to talk

about how the rest of the family feels intimidated by my success.

Jerry, please.

No, I mean, you know… I think it's obvious.

You can't deal with the fact I'm more successful than you are.

What's he talking about?

I'm so sick of Ben monopolizing the conversation.

- This happens every time. - All right.

- This is my sister Amy. - No! Really. You come in here

and you're the biggest baby I've ever seen.

You just use our lives as fodder for your little show. It's disgusting.

- Little show? - Yes, little show, Benjy.

Why don't you tell everybody

about the time you wet your bed with your girlfriend?

- Shut up, Amy! - That's 'cause it's true!

- Stop it! - Shut up! I hate you!

And it was ridiculous 'cause nobody knew who I was at the time.

Screw you and your little dog too!

Look out! She's got an egg!

But the line was always blurred in our family.

I mean, we grew up around them working together

and improvising to create their act.

And that's what we did as kids 'cause they did it and it worked for them.

I'll split your lip for ya!

- A woman seems to be-- - This is Mommy talking to ya, sweetheart.

It worked so well that it literally became their identity

and their livelihood.

I'd always been funny by accident. It was Jerry that got me to do comedy.

It's much easier to be funny by accident than to be funny, you know…

- And I was… - …two times a night at a nightclub.

He was always, you know, mining and pulling it out of her

because he admired her so much.

But that also put stress on their… And pressure on her.

You think each of these vignettes is gonna be a winner.

But, when you tell it, it's not funny.

- And if I tell it, it becomes funny. - Yeah. Yeah.

After having to do these incredibly high-pressure gigs,

just wanting to let off steam…

she'd go to Patsy's and she'd have her vodka.

It was hard.

This summer, I was a little edgy.

We were in a trailer. Benjy came up to me. And I said, "What is it?"

And Amy came over to Benjy and she says, "Leave Mommy alone.

Can't you see she's under a lot of pressure?"

Here's what happened. She'd scream at them

and then they'd look at me in a strange way.

"What does she mean by that?"

I says, "You know, she's got a show to do tomorrow night.

She's a little upset about what she has to do. Don't mind her."

What you whispering for? What is this, Watergate?

What is this? Just speak into the tape.

- Say hello, Ben. - Hi.

I don't know what you're doing. You're going crazy.

This child…

has been rented for the occasion.

- Hello. - What's your name?

- I said it was Benjy. - What's your name?

- We rented this little girl. - Amy.

Oh, my God!

Amy is waiting for a parent…

Well, we had a…

But don't you think we had a colorful childhood?

Yeah. I just see Mom… Like, that to me is, like…

I think of it-- Yes, of course it was colorful.

But I also see, like, Mom's definitely… drunk.

You think she's drunk? I don't think so.

Are you kidding?

And I feel that… I also know that's why I'm reacting like that, too.

I can see…

"Why are you acting so… crazy?"

I don't know if she was drunk.

Or they were just joking around. I mean, Dad wasn't exactly normal, either.

I see him happy. Yeah, no they were definitely…

I don't know if he is, but…

- We rented this little girl. - Amy. Amy.

With Jerry, you know, if you have a second drink he says, "Stop that.

You don't know who you are."

Does she get silly after… a couple?

He says, "Don't do that. Everything you do reflects on me."

Anne falls asleep on the coats, usually, when that happens.

I do. I usually find a room, you know, where the coats are.

And I end up dribbling on someone's mink.

- No… It's very harmless. - Not mine. I don't have a mink, lady.

- Not me. - You know, today…

When she was drinking, my dad never really knew how to handle it.

Do you think he was afraid to talk to her about it?

I think he loved her so much,

- and he was so committed to her. - Right.

Also, the act and what they did together,

- it was so important that that worked… - Yes. Yeah.

…that he had to figure out how to deal with that on his own.

But I think I resented him for not acknowledging it to us.

He loved us more than anything, but I think he was just trying

- to figure out how to navigate that. - Right.

And I got so angry at him for not being there for us.

But I don't think I even understood that.

- Yeah. - For a while.

I have to blame my--

So…

I am going wacky from guilt.

I am the rottenest wife and mother in the world.

Now I'm putting myself down

only in the hopes it will make me feel better after saying it. You understand?

You mean to everybody?

So the children say, "No, you're not, Mommy."

Yeah, anything. Because I'm not home enough.

And I wouldn't mind, if I could carry it off, but I feel so rotten.

I feel like your mom would always own her, sort of, shortcomings.

Yeah, she was very open about all of that.

So open about it.

And really loved to talk about all the things she didn't do.

Like as a parent and a mother

and how she screwed up and, "We were working, we missed this."

She would see me as a new mother

and during those moments

where it was crazy and frenetic and your mom would just say, like,

how great a job I was doing.

Like, it was a way to make me feel so good about what I was doing.

But also her acknowledging what she couldn't do.

"And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight…"

But I think a lot of it, for her,

came out of being overwhelmed at being a mom,

because she really felt so… unprepared to be a mom.

Right.

You know, what a traumatic thing it was

to lose her mom at such a young age.

And then when she had Amy and I and being overwhelmed by that,

and the pressure of having to go and do the act on Ed Sullivan

and go do these shows. And it was hard.

How about in your family? Were you the youngest of the children?

I am… I think I'm like you. I think… Are you an only child?

No, no. I just act like one.

Do you know what that means? That means I'm probably a little spoilt.

No, well, I'm the best and the worst, I was an only child.

Oh, you were an only… Were you closest to your mother or your father?

I… I guess… My mother died when I was young.

I was a daddy's girl.

I was an Irish princess from Long Island.

My mother loved movies.

I loved movies 'cause she did.

I wanted to be like that. I wanted to be, you know, on the silver screen.

This is… She wrote to her mom.

"To my mom. Now when it comes to poetry, I think I'm just a flop.

But all that I can say is this, 'I think you're just tops.'

- Love, Anne." - That looks like my handwriting.

Wow.

"Just a little gift to make you happy on Mother's Day. Love, Anne."

Oh, my God.

It was just my father and me. And, you know…

I could wind my father around my finger,

'cause he was, like, distraught and nervous ever since my mother died.

"It's October 15th, 1940,

and I'm sitting on a milk box near the side of a bungalow we rented

far away from our old house on Baker Hill Road.

And my mother was still unhappy.

Many neighbors were milling about on the front lawn,

and an ambulance had pulled up to the curb.

My father was in the house with paramedics who were trying to revive my mother

who had turned on the gas and inhaled eternity."

You know, she told me about her mother's suicide.

Which shocked me.

Her mother obviously was suffering from depression,

but they would say that she would get blue.

- Never said she was depressed. - No, she was just blue.

- She would get blue. - Yeah.

And I think that's where Anne's comic genius came from,

was her trying to cheer up May.

I think her mother, May, is always one step behind the audience.

And so she's there to keep her mother alive.

Both Anne and Jerry had come out of a real dark place.

Their lives were always reaching for the light.

I love working with Anne,

and I feel vibes when I'm with Anne that I don't feel with anybody else.

Now, why that happens, I can't explain it.

Maybe it's some sort of a terrible need

that one person has for another. I feel very strongly.

For me, growing up, seeing them work together,

the act was what was moving them forward.

But there was that tension in the marriage

that came from them wanting different things.

Yet being tied into the act together.

- What do we do when we have a fight? - We cry a lot, we hit each other.

What does anyone do?

Well, Anne and I have a way of dealing with all husband-and-wife arguments…

The worst thing that can happen to anybody

is indifference. It's the absence…

I've never been indifferent to you, Jerry. I've always felt and cared about you.

I've never been indifferent. You know, I…

- Tell me how you felt. - No, you've never been…

Well I've always felt that when you had something to say…

Get in touch with the real feelings within you.

Well…The reality of it all is that when you're married to someone…

They wanna hear your own feelings.

The dynamic of their whole, sort of shtick was,

"Jerry, shut up. That's not interesting."

I don't know what that means, Jerry.

I get to say, "Shut up," now.

You've never talked so long at one stretch, ever,

without me interrupting.

Why did I let you do that?

When you talk about contributing that includes both of us.

I don't want the people to think

I am stopping any idea you might have in your brain.

So speak up, Jerry, if you wish.

That was also their dynamic in life

that they knew worked for their act.

I think any woman in the audience would understand.

If you're together 24 hours a day, I'm telling you, Lily, you can go bananas.

- I mean, really, first of all, he messes… - I see him very seldom.

- Once or twice on the weekend. - Yes, about that…

I meant to speak to you.

I just wonder sometimes,

what kind of toll that took on their actual relationship.

Derek, is everything okay? I've been trying to reach you for a week.

A week?

I think in our relationship, I feel like that's what you were feeling from me.

When we got together and then started working together,

in the beginning,

I had this natural aversion…

- Yes. - Did you feel that?

I mean, I do feel like there was history.

And I think a lot of it was your experience

of what that ultimately meant for a relationship,

that it could put extra strain

when you're eating, sleeping, breathing each other in that way.

You understand the world doesn't revolve around you…

Good.

I also felt like there was a fear for you, for me,

of, like, what that would look like to the outside world.

- I mean, it was very loaded. - Yeah.

I was feeling, like, "Wait a minute, I don't want to become my parents."

This was my dad's room.

My mom's room is next door.

And… I don't know when they started getting to the point

of having separate bedrooms, but they did.

Adjoining. A nice suite. But I think that's how they wanted it.

They were married for 62 years.

What was their relationship?

What was their agreement with each other that they were able to, you know,

make it work for that long?

I don't think of it in terms of their closeness.

'Cause I feel like they were very close.

But they also were very, very different, too.

My Margaret Mary's 15.

She's no Einstein.

She don't know the Hudson Tubes from the fallopian tubes.

I see. Well, Mrs. Mulcahy…

She's gonna be in a lot of trouble if she tries to get to Jersey.

Mrs. Mulcahy…

Do you feel that…

When I look at them doing their act, I see Dad working so hard.

He's drilled it over and over again, and he doesn't wanna screw it up.

And Mom just letting it flow.

I remember Mom going, like,

"Daddy stayed up 'til five in the morning memorizing his lines."

I mean, there's a perfectionism that I think you and I have inherited.

Some of it's good…

But some of it…

- Some of it's good. - But some of it…

it takes away our enjoyment of things.

That's exactly right.

Jerry was very serious, and he rehearsed morning, noon and night.

Good enough, got you.

Okay, Jerry.

He would struggle over every word, every sentence.

Oh, yeah.

He definitely had the work ethic, and I think that kept him…

That's how he got to where he got to

but it was impossible for him to… let go.

Well, you do a lot of strange things, honey.

I do.

You sure do.

- You do some strange things, too. - There's no need to get personal.

Well, why would I want starch in a collar that says, "Do not starch."?

To keep your chin up.

- You got a weak chin. - I have a weak chin?

So does your mother.

Where would Mom be without Dad, in a way, you know?

I look at it "Where would Dad be without Mom?"

I don't know if Dad would have had a career in comedy without Mom.

He was so committed to her, in that he needed to…

it to work with her. I think he loved her very much.

He wasn't willing to risk maybe losing her,

or risk her not being there for them and for their act.

I always thought about my mom,

and how she really connected with Christine.

I could, sort of, hear my mom's voice in my head

when I was really focused on the work too much.

I remember my mom telling me,

"You really need to be there for your family."

Well, eight pounds, two ounces. That was a week earlier.

I feel like there was the period of time

where work was a really big priority.

And, you know, as we talk about this I now see that… that parallel with your dad.

That when you put really good work out there

you would still just see the one thing that didn't work.

- Right. - The defeat. The, like, absolute defeat.

And the behind the scenes of how we kind of navigate those waters for you

did sort of become this family, like, us saying "Okay, so what if?" You know?

Like, "If it doesn't do well, la-da-da-da-da.

- If it does do well…" you know? - Yeah.

And I think… I mean, you know…

- I think the word is… - This sucks.

Yeah, it's also, you know,

it's like, "Don't try to pretend that it's not affecting you,

- just be able to voice it." - Right.

You know, for better or worse.

I remember Anne would pull me aside and she's like,

"You take care of you."

- Like, she had my back. - Yeah.

And you were her son.

Yeah.

That's all.

I keep coming up against, you know, "You're your parents' son."

And when you become a parent

you think you're gonna not make the mistakes your parents made.

- And you end up… - You always fall into doing them.

…making different mistakes, or some of the same mistakes.

Ella recently said to me,

"I literally can't ever remember you being around when I was growing up."

Yeah.

Let's get to what you've been doing over this past week.

Well, I've just been working a lot. You know, my family was in LA,

so I've just been really working full time.

I only had one day off this week.

- So, yeah… - Well…

But for all the mistakes I made as a parent… Yes, I have made a couple.

I know it's shocking to you.

And also… yeah, I was cut.

I cut you out of Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

It's probably the worst decision I've ever made in my life.

- What? - You look cute in your outfit.

This is for… I work.

- It's not all about you, Walter. - What?

- Aww, you're so cute. - I was really scared.

I remember I was really, really scared. It didn't make sense in the movie.

No, no, I… What it relates to is my own issues with my own obsession with my work,

- or "perfectionism". - Yeah.

Does that resonate with you?

- Maybe. Yeah, I would think so. - With me?

I think, there's things, you know, after a tough day,

you know, or something was going wrong,

you can get very much in your own head. You know what I mean?

And I think, once you kind of go into that place…

hard to get you out of it.

So that would, kind of, put a damper on the… you know, fun part

about being on vacation. You know what I mean?

You have all these hats that you're trying to balance, you know?

Being a director, an actor, you know, a producer, writer.

But also just, like, a father. Right?

And sometimes I felt that that would come last to these other things.

There was this one time

I was sitting in the kitchen with Quin when he was little,

and telling him I was gonna do Night at the Museum 3,

and I had to go to Canada for a few months.

I just saw his face sort of drop and he said,

"I wish you could stay home."

And I remember pathetically sort of saying,

"But you love Night at the Museum." But it didn't matter to him.

The irony is I thought I was doing so much better than my parents

I thought I was pulling it off. I was flying home on the weekends,

and having special places for the kids to play when they come visit the set.

But, in reality, and just hearing them talk about it,

you know, for them, it was the same thing I was going through as a kid.

And I just couldn't see that at all at the time.

- When we separated… - Right.

My feeling was, "Oh, I'm failing at this." And, like, "Look at my parents."

They have this incredible 50-plus-year marriage.

- Yeah. - And I can't, you know, live up to that.

It's not so easy being married to you. You know what I mean?

- Do you love me? - What?

Do you love me?

Do you love me?

Do I what?

Do you love me?

Do I love you?

With our children growing older And your mother back in town

You're upset, you want out Go inside, go lie down…

The nightclubs drove me meshuggah.

That need to go out there,

and just be hilarious every minute, two shows a night.

In front of a lot of people who didn't care who I was.

You know?

I… I said, "Jerry, I don't know where the act ends and the marriage begins."

I'm asking you a question…

The entity of Stiller and Meara had… become oppressive to them.

I think they felt trapped by it.

My wife, Annie, in addition to being a comedian,

is also a dramatic actress.

But no one knew it when we were comedians.

And this is something she always wanted.

Now, as comedians, you couldn't project two images at the same time.

One day she said, "I wanna do this kind of thing.

I want it to happen this way." And I said, "I'm gonna let you do it."

After quite a few years

It's nice to know

I love you.

We had to stop doing this act.

Which was a risk because we were starting to, in a way, take off.

I'm finished with the follies,

and the vanities and the scandals. All of them.

God, the years I wasted with that cheap stuff.

I'd written the play, The House of Blue Leaves.

There was this character, Bunny, the hero's girlfriend.

And we saw everybody for the part.

And one day the producer called me and he said,

"I'm having lunch in The Russian Tea Room, and I've just seen Bunny.

She's at the next table and I'm listening to her.

It's Anne Meara."

And I said, "But does she work with Stiller and Meara?

Does she work alone?" He said, "Well there's only one way to find out."

When I met Anne, I was thrilled to know, my God,

that she'd been in the original Ulysses in Nighttown

and, you know, was a serious actor.

Her agent did not want her to do a play off Broadway.

At that point, off-Broadway was not prestigious,

it was really an alternate theater.

Her agent felt it would be damaging to her career.

She didn't care, and she signed on.

And there's one thing I hope you can find,

where Anne brought her little boy.

Ben.

We're standing in front of the Truck and Warehouse Theater.

You're holding a copy of my script, and you're going through it,

making changes, ripping out pages…

And I'm bowing and scraping, "Yes, thank you, thank you, Mr. Stiller."

Yes.

What I think is amazing, is that after doing the comedy for so many years,

she was able to transition into serious roles.

Plays by Eugene O'Neill

and Richard Greenberg and respected playwrights.

The fact that Annie's doing this

makes me feel very, very important, and part of a dream that's coming true.

How do you make the marriage survive, in terms of domestic competition?

I mean, you're all actors.

There's a natural competitiveness, I would think,

between a husband and a wife.

Well, in our case, Annie is doing all the work right now

in terms of appearances.

She is in a play called The House of Blue Leaves,

which keeps her going constantly…

I think the prospect of working alone was something he both wanted,

but was also probably pretty daunting after having success,

to think about if he could do it on his own.

The thing that people don't realize is my dad was a very spiritual person.

There was, like, an energy with him.

If you had, like, hurt your elbow or something

he would, like, just put some energy on it for you. Things like that.

He just was a very deep person.

He had a real belief in himself.

I remember there was a time when we all went on vacation to Spain and…

they invited people to come down. It was a bloodless bull fight.

And he got in the ring with a bull.

He… did that.

He had something in him

where he was willing to jump in the ring and go for it.

I feel like I'm always trying to live up to the type of person he was.

Look, your father was a kind of a saint, you know?

There was something about him that's nine years old.

- Yeah. - You know?

- Stays there. - Yeah.

- Here's a note from your dad. - Oh, wow.

"Dear Chris, Your mirror note is on my mirror.

Keep on breaking wind

through those fine Harrod silky shorts."

Yeah.

This is amazing, actually, all this stuff.

Yep. Hurlyburly.

I mean, I remember this play so well

'cause you guys did this, Mike Nichols directed it.

Did you-- Is that where you guys, kind of, became close, you and Jerry?

No, I knew Jerry from way before that.

- 60 years ago. - Right.

Joe Papp was starting the Delacorte Theater.

- Shakespeare in the Park. - Yeah. And Jerry did shows for him.

- Yeah. - And maybe Anne, too.

- Early on, yeah. - And that's when I met them.

Your mom, kind of, scared me a little bit.

Yeah.

She… Your mom would look at me

and I knew that, you know, she had my number.

- No? - Yeah.

She'd look at me and I could tell, "She knows you're up to no good."

Yeah.

But also, I worked with Jerry.

And when you work with people, it's a very intimate thing.

Right.

I think of it, like, in the circus, the trapeze thing.

You know, where you do the flip,

and you gotta be sure that somebody's hands are there.

You know, that you can catch them.

Jerry was like that, he was, like, really solid.

What's up, Z?

- You won't believe it. - You know me, I'll believe anything.

A train's been hijacked.

I don't believe it.

I did a movie.

I was asked to do a movie called Taking of Pelham One Two Three.

Such a great film.

This is Pelham. What happened to Garber?

Even great men have to pee.

I just like the way that it excites us all, you know?

You know, and I can tell that it excites you, too.

- 'Cause you got to be… - Yeah, I got to be…

…in the back of a car for one of the scenes.

Transit authority.

Still gotta pay.

When they're shooting this scene,

I'm there the whole time in the back seat of the car.

It was the first movie set that I was ever on.

Hey, can you account for your whereabouts today, Mr. Latimer.

Do you remember, shooting that, thinking, "This is so cool.

My dad's play--, you know, with Walter Matthau."

Something clicked inside of me, like, this is the kinda thing I wanna do.

- You sure? - Sure? Ask anybody.

It's like one of the classic endings of a movie.

Sorry if we bothered you, Mr. Longman. Come on, Rico.

He sneezes. Cuts to the door, the door opens

and then Walter Matthau sticks his head in like that.

Then, just, the music comes in. Da-da-da…

If the need arose,

I think we'd play a club tomorrow. If the need arose.

But I enjoy much more, and I think you do…

Tell me to shut up if you want.

- Shut up, Anne. Let me tell you about us. - Okay.

- Do you agree with her? - I love it when he's masterful.

Here at the Paramount Theater, plays The Ritz,

starring Rita Moreno and Jerry Stiller.

What's his hit? The Ritz.

Yeah. Oh, listen folks, if you get to New York

you gotta see my husband 'cause he's terrific.

And Jack Weston and Rita Moreno are also starring in the show,

it's called The Ritz.

What's it about?

Well, it takes place in a gay steam bath.

And it's funny.

It was when they were at the height of their popularity,

in terms of what they were getting offered and what they were developing.

That's the Airport '75 script.

California, here I come

I actually made Airport '76, which was a remake of Airport '75

starring Amy and Libra Max, Adam's sister and Halle Michaels from downstairs.

This is it. Count your beads, folks.

We are getting further into this idea of separation.

There's a certain element

of being away from each other and being together that's very good.

Have you seen each other a lot lately?

Well, we haven't but I enjoy working and I enjoy seeing him work.

The reunions are great.

We moved out to California.

We were living at an apartment called The Westview Tower.

Just south of Sunset.

We were going to Disneyland

and Knott's Berry Farm, and Universal Studios for the tour.

On the set, watching them film my mom's show.

Joining me is my special guest, Annie Meara.

Anne is starring in a special CBS world premiere

called Kate McShane.

- Thank you so much. - And Anne is going to be serious.

- Yes. - Kate McShane's a serious person.

- That's right, she's a lawyer - No fooling around.

- How do I look? Okay? - You look nervous.

Oh, some pal you are.

Don't hit that kid in cold blood, only in the heat of anger.

I'm sorry, kid. I'm sorry.

First thing I did which was in my mom's TV show,

they gave me the part of the son of a client of hers.

It was in Paramount Studios and I was waiting to go on,

and there was a red light called a cue light.

They said, "When the light goes on you come out."

And I was so nervous coming out.

I know that.

You were more brave than me.

Well, you did Lovers and Other Strangers, when you were eight.

I know, but you can tell I'm scared out of my mind.

And it's hysterical, I'm singing off-key, and Cloris Leachman chimes in to help.

I love you truly

Truly dear

- She did sing off-key, and… - She did not sing off-key.

The child was beautiful.

Never saw such a beautiful… Amy Stiller.

And Benjy's a wonderful kid, too. Just in case he's watching.

Does he sing?

No, but he does the spoons.

This is the part of the documentary where we edit

and we cut to us on The Mike Douglas Show, 1974.

Now just relax. Remember there's just 30 million people watching.

I remember the lights being really bright.

Not wanting to screw up. And not realizing how bad we sounded,

- I don't think. - Yeah.

Bravo! Bravo!

Mr. Jerry Stiller and his wife Anne Meara.

How's the show going? I know Anne is shooting her new series for the fall.

And Jerry's got a show, too.

- Joe and Sons. - Isn't that something?

- You guys both got a series this year. - Yes. It's…

CBS is keeping our marriage together.

If both of those shows had been successful,

that would have changed our life a lot.

They probably would have had to move to LA or spend a lot of time there.

- What are you? A tree? - I am the mighty oak.

- Anne Meara. - What?

Why don't you summarize your feelings about 1975.

We had a very good year, Jerry and I.

- You mean emotionally? - You mean you both got cancelled?

- That was good? - Yeah, well we got to do it.

I mean, anyway. Yeah, we had two series that went down the tubes

But… What? You know? I hate to be Pollyanna,

"Better to have done it, than never have done it at all."

And we bought some good Christmas presents this year.

Next year, we don't promise the family nothing.

- Look at Dad. Look at Dad. - Yeah, Dad's like, "Gene!"

- Dad wants to punch him in the face. - Yeah.

My mom wanted to be happy, independent of performing.

And I think for my dad, performing was so important to him,

- it was part of his happiness. - Right.

So they had that tension between them.

But they didn't talk to me about it.

You know, why would they lay their career issues on us?

But yet, you'd just be around it.

- And we would feel it. Yeah. - That tension. Yeah.

Things were changing in the business,

and it was kind of a tough time for them.

They were doing guest spots on different shows.

They had these moments where they had some success

without each other.

They started to do movie roles here and there.

It's the human tragicomedy, Tommy.

It's enough to make a stone cry!

My mom worked on Archie Bunker's Place.

She got two nominations for Archie Bunker's Place.

Don't you kids ever think of anyone but yourself?

They were just trying to find their way separately.

I think this period was harder for my dad because he had such a need for approval.

And as obsessed as he was with the work,

I realized, making all those mistakes when I got older, with my kids,

that… you know, it's really hard.

It's really hard to…

balance that out. And I made so many mistakes.

I think I made more mistakes than my dad did.

Now you're talking.

That's a pretty nice suit you got there.

- My old man. - Hey, he must be something special.

When I think about it,

he'd be the one who was there for us in moments of crisis.

When I was homesick at camp, he came up and visited me.

Or when I took acid when I was 16 and was freaked out,

he was the one who would meditate with me and…

I mean, my mom couldn't handle it. She would, sort of, shut down.

But when he was there, he could be very sensitive and paternal.

I think he really wanted to shelter us from the pain that he felt.

Did you encourage Ben to get into the business?

No, I thought it was too tough a business.

I hated the idea of that rejection.

I didn't want that to go for Ben or Amy.

He was the type of person who could not help but try to help.

And he wouldn't tell me. That drove me crazy.

He'd, like… Literally I would get a bad review, once I started working,

and he would write a letter to the reviewer…

about how wrong he was.

Dad had an overprotectiveness that kind of… it stifled me.

He would do stuff 'cause he didn't trust that we could…

Do it on our own.

You have to make mistakes. You have to… You have to fall.

And he didn't want that. And then I think…

I felt, like, paralyzed.

The thing is that you had something that you could sink your teeth into.

I don't remember, for me, having anything that I felt that way about.

I just felt intimidated and 'cause I was the oldest, I had all this expectation.

- Dead air, dead air! - Nah, it's not dead air.

I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of Dad. I'm sick of…

sick of everything. Leave…

These films tend to be negative.

And it was a really tough time for women.

Yeah, and also we weren't anonymous.

So we couldn't really fail anonymously.

No, and I had a lot of opportunities,

and I just didn't know what to do with them.

I didn't know who I was.

You know, I look back on it and it was so painful.

- And… I didn't… - Yeah. Did you…?

What did you wanna do?

Well… I just want--

When I did the nurse in Romeo and Juliet, I was, like,

"I just wanna make people laugh. I just wanna do this."

That's why all those years, when I was waitressing and you were getting famous,

do you know how fucking hard that was for me?

I mean, some of it was character building. But… to a point.

Obviously, like, children of actors have their issues…

- Right. - …in life.

And even though, like, you are the actor parent in this situation,

you're also someone I can relate to as having had the actor parent.

- Right. Yeah. - Like, I can't relate to that with mom.

- Right. 'Cause she had-- - Well, she is an actor parent.

- She had normie parents. - She-- Normie!

That's horrible.

They are the parents of two children.

And their marriage has been running successfully for more than 21 years.

At least we hope… We told them they couldn't get separated

until after this show was on. And then the repeat again.

After the repeat you can do whatever you want.

- Then we can split into the sunset. - Then you can split.

When we started

we felt that the success of the act would make the marriage work.

Then something else happens.

- You have to have success in your life. - The pressure.

And if the success…

can get in the way of that kind of marriage thing,

that you want together,

then you have to be willing to give something up.

You see, when you start you don't know it's going to happen.

Let's say you start a marriage. Do you know you're gonna last that long?

All the wrong reasons, didn't we?

Right. And all of a sudden you kind of grow up.

And what you're doing in your mind is renegotiating the marriage

as you go along.

Their marriage…

they worked at it a lot.

They did individual therapy.

They did couples therapy.

They were going two, three times a week, I think.

And they always went afterwards for coffee and they would talk and bond.

What we learned through the therapy, too,

was that our personal lives were more important than the theater lives.

And I started to really prick differently at our life.

I think they let go of a lot of that resentment.

I saw them just come closer together and take care of each other.

Our television series were cancelled but our marriage is alive.

That's right.

Which is very difficult to do in a business like this.

I really didn't know, if by going out to California,

Anne and I would really be together

after doing these things separately and together and what have you.

And I'm so glad that we've done this and it really worked out.

- This is kinda cool. Can I read this? - Yeah.

They had a pilot, you know?

- And… - Yeah.

So it said, "CBS has announced their line-up…"

- Who…? Is this Dad? - Yeah.

Jerry, we don't have time for that now.

Time for what? Happy anniversary, that's all.

Oh, yeah. Happy anniversary.

"I may need to back off from speculating

as to whether the pilot will be picked up.

Anne says, 'Don't spoil being together by bringing up the pilot.'

I realize that this is what has created the gap between us.

My desperate need to tie what we do on stage

with when we're together.

My grasp for success, my wanting it so desperately,

I've become aware of something within me that tells me I'm okay more."

No one tells Frank Costanza what to do!

That's right! Who the hell are they? How dare they?

Ow! Dad.

I was 65 years old, not getting any work.

And I was left hanging.

I got the call from Larry David.

He said, "We want you to replace the father in Seinfeld."

You know, I couldn't bring myself to spend one of these.

I got some kind of a…

phobia!

Ridiculous? I'll show you ridiculous. Give me!

I just feel like he had all of this stuff inside of him, that kinda…

- It came out… - It came out in Seinfeld.

When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say,

"Serenity now!"

I got in touch with what I call my "inner rage".

At least, that's what my…

That's what my wife Anne Meara used to say.

We went… You wanna talk, Jerry? I don't wanna interrupt you at any time.

If you feel the need to say something, just let it out.

'Cause we're Mike's guests on the show this week.

- That's right-- - And I feel that as co-hosts,

we could contribute in some way.

Him, you know, letting out all of that steam

that was kept… tamped down in life.

That, partly might have been where that character came out of.

Everybody, sing with me!

Take me out to the ball…

As much as you love the theater

and as much as you get out of an audience,

when you get on television, the whole world sees you.

Which is wonderful for me, because I always wanted to be loved by everybody.

- How are you? - I watch your show. I like that.

- Jerry Stiller, right? How's Meara? - Anne Meara is in good shape.

I think when Seinfeld happened for my dad,

my mom was able to relax a little bit, too,

because she wasn't needed for his success.

That might have been a relief for her.

I think I'm at the age where, you know,

if you're not reflecting on things, there's something…

You're screwed up. And it's never too late to make changes. That's all I'm saying.

She finally quit smoking and she stopped drinking.

And she acknowledged… where all this stuff had come from, too.

Many people feel that it's too painful

to explore certain areas,

but I have found it very helpful to get in touch with past upsets

that weren't dealt with at the time.

And when things aren't dealt with at the time,

they usually come out in unproductive ways later.

It was beautiful. I mean, she really, you know…

…grew.

But my dad would never accept it, you know?

Even when she went to AA and would go to meetings every day,

and she'd say, "Jerry," you know, "I'm an alcoholic."

And he would say, "No, don't be so tough on yourself.

You know, it's a lot of pressure and…"

You know, he didn't ever want to criticize her in that way.

He always had this unconditional love for her.

- Is this her original After-Play binder? - I found that in her stuff.

Wow. That's so cool.

Anne is the star and playwright of After-Play,

an off-Broadway show at Theater Four in New York City.

It was confusing. Mikey!

It's an epic, for God's sake!

- That scene with the mittens! - What mittens?

She's talking about two girls, which are, I think, standing in for you and me.

"Suzie and Polly? What's wrong with them? They're gorgeous."

"They have a lot of anger. I was never there for them.

Even when I was there, I wasn't there."

"Stop beating yourself. You were a terrific mother."

"We both had a career, for God's sake."

"We were both so busy trying to get rich and famous."

I feel like I'm talking to myself up there.

Maybe because I'm… Those lines that Anne has written

are essentially stuff we've said at one time in our lives.

"So great being with you guys. Maybe I will have another drink.

Raziel hands her the earring.

I believe you dropped this."

"My earring! I thought it was lost."

"Nothing is lost, ma'am."

I feel like… Maybe it's 'cause of my own experience of my marriage

but, like, I just have so much more empathy for them now.

Because… I think, because of what I've gone through in my life

and seeing how hard it is to do what they did.

He used to love coming out here,

- Grandpa Jerry. - Oh, yeah.

Christine and I, we'd been separated for a few years

and then when COVID happened,

we made the decision to come back to the house with the kids.

- And then that tree… - And that one right there.

That was his favorite tree. The big pine.

All of a sudden, we were together in the house,

and during that time, I started to make the movie, too.

So there was sort of this coming together.

- And her using that word, "joyless". - Yeah.

Us talking about what we were going through, our issues,

and looking at what my parents had been through, too,

in a way I hadn't looked at it before.

If anybody told me, that at my age I would…

you know, be happier than I was in younger years,

I would say, "How could that be?"

Well, that's great, isn't it? To discover that that's possible.

Thank you. You're very kind.

I… I'd like to say a little bit… A little bit about my life. I hope it…

I've been going out doing evenings,

where I come out and I do my life.

I… I get a great kick out of it.

It's the part of my life where… Actually, it's what I always wanted to do.

I always wanted to work alone.

I know. I know. It's just…

Thank you, very…

Oh, there she is. That's…

That's my wife. The lovely… Anne Meara.

That's her, yes.

You get so serious.

It gets, like, grim.

It's like you're doing the haftarah at your Bar Mitzvah.

- How do you do? - Oh, how do you do?

I'm Hershey Horowitz.

I'm Mary Elizabeth Doyle.

- Is it you? - Is it you?

- It's me. - It's me, too.

- Mary Elizabeth Doyle. - Hershey Horowitz.

- Oh, it's good to see… - You haven't changed one bit!

Oh, stop.

What in your career is your proudest achievement?

My proudest achievement in my life is…

is getting to know my husband in a real way.

And respecting him and respecting what we did together.

Okay. Sure you want half of this?

I hate that tofu stuff.

She wrote a few plays and then she wrote about her life.

Like, this is all dreams.

"Jerry lying on bed with me and Ben, up in Nantucket.

We're holding hands, Jerry and me.

I feel his hands and his skin.

The sun on my back, lying in the bed next to the window.

Jerry says, 'Damn plane never took off. So, I came home.'"

We had a house in Nantucket

and that was one of their favorite places.

That's where they're both buried together now, too.

After my mom had her stroke,

she really couldn't communicate.

But if you looked in her eyes, you could see that she was in there.

She was basically totally paralyzed.

But she could…

When we'd say something funny, she would laugh.

All we would do is hang out with her and try to make her laugh.

Amy would do characters and I would do characters.

If I said something that made her laugh, I felt that I'd done good.

'Cause she was a tough audience.

For a number of years.

Two years, three years. Whatever.

And then I…

I…

Are there any resentments at all?

- No, I really don't. No more. - Okay.

- I love you very much. - I know. I love you, too. Same way.

- Love you. - I love you so much.

So, tell me something, Daddy.

Is this better than anything, just being alive?

Yes. That's the way life is.

Yeah? When we go, we'll go together, you and me.

Yeah, all right. Okay, hold hands and everything else.

That's right. We'll hold hands.

We can have a good time together, wherever we're going.

Yep. Yep.

You'll take me to shows again when we get up there?

I used to take you… Yeah, when I go, I'll take you any place.

- You wanna say something to Ben? - Hey, Ben. How's everything?

You wanted to say hello to Amy, right?

She's in show business, too, you know? Very, very talented little girl.

It's like a miracle. It goes from one…

one person to another…

You can call it a miracle if you want to.

- Yeah. I can. - Yeah, sometimes the talent is…

is in you somewhere, and it goes on down.

Yeah. Yeah.

- What is this? - It's a tape recorder.

- A tape recorder? Oh. - Yeah.

Whatever you say is on that tape.

- So they'll hear you forever. - Yeah.

You'll never be lost.