Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:09,677
Wow!
2
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,045
I know.
3
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:12,513
I can't believe it.
4
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:13,864
You slept with our nanny?
5
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,034
Not when she was your nanny.
6
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:19,019
See, I told y'all.
This is why you should hire
7
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,356
a big old Polish woman
as your babysitter.
8
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,626
Y'all talking about Dagmara?
9
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:27,928
Boy, I miss that woman.
10
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,064
-Right?
-Remember when she lifted up
11
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,804
-the truck with everybody in it so I could change a flat?
-Mm-hmm.
12
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,004
Well, your son slept
with the nanny.
13
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,872
Dagmara?
14
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,610
Well, I mean, you a grown man,
but Dagmara?
15
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,613
No, not Dagmara. Our nanny.
16
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,282
Who was not your nanny
at the time.
17
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,384
Okay? It's just
a weird coincidence.
18
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,603
Weird coincidence?
Or inevitability,
19
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,239
considering you've slept
with approximately
20
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:57,575
95% of the female population
of Los Angeles.
21
00:00:57,658 --> 00:01:00,728
You know us Butler men, boy.
22
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,466
No... tell me how
the Butler men are.
23
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,336
We-we know when to shut up.
24
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,606
We searched for a month
25
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,425
to find the perfect nanny,
and we finally did.
26
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,445
And then Malcolm comes along
and screws everything up.
27
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,581
Okay, Courtney, I am not proud
of how I behaved.
28
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:23,217
But that was three years ago.
I'm a different guy now.
29
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,753
I will talk to her
and clear the air.
30
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,289
You know, clearly,
your mama was right.
31
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:32,693
You need a nanny that's less...
"pla-ka-kow."
32
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:37,798
And more like
"whoop, boop, doo..."
33
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:44,938
So, you think she's
"pla-ka-kow"?
34
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,341
I've never seen her, baby.
35
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,460
Yes, you did, Dad, you said she
looked like Megan Thee Stallion.
36
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:50,944
Mm.
37
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:53,647
I said
I've never seen the woman.
38
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,669
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
39
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,254
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
40
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:09,363
Calvin, you have
got to taste my pickle.
41
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,532
Say what now?
42
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,167
Dave, you want
to try that again?
43
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,835
Yeah, I-I would recommend that.
44
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,438
Look, Calvin, I have realized,
45
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:20,140
when you get caught up
in that nine-to-five grind,
46
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,975
you don't have time
for the things
47
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,694
that make life worthwhile.
48
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,879
Like pickling.
49
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,082
Behold.
50
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,151
A flight of pickles...
51
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:34,038
seven individual pickles
chosen just for you.
52
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,690
Full-sour, half-sour,
cornichon, bread-and-butter,
53
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:37,958
spicy dill, garlic dill,
54
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:40,027
and spicy garlic dill.
55
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:43,597
All fresh from the laboratory.
56
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,353
It's not a laboratory,
it's our kitchen,
57
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,003
laundry room,
and now living room.
58
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,405
There are jars everywhere.
59
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,375
-Oh, you poor girl.
-I mean, smell my hair.
60
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,010
Yeah, I didn't want
to say anything.
61
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,381
Ooh. My brine's on simmer.
62
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:01,649
I'll be right back.
63
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,517
In the meantime,
enjoy the succulent seven.
64
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:06,854
Oh, we definitely will, Dave.
65
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,239
Let me get these out of here
66
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,891
before our house starts smelling
like Gemma's hair.
67
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,628
Gemma, um, should we
be worried about Dave?
68
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,597
Yes. Absolutely.
69
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,466
He's been a mess
since he lost his job.
70
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:21,235
This is the first time he's
left the house in three days.
71
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,871
And he calls himself
"The Pickler,"
72
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,906
like some kind
of Batman villain.
73
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,377
Look, don't worry, Gemma.
74
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,229
Whatever we can do to help,
we will, okay?
75
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,046
Absolutely... Calvin,
76
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:35,349
you'll take Dave
out with you tomorrow night.
77
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:38,218
Of-of course, you know,
78
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,820
if only there was, um...
79
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,889
tomorrow is Wednesday.
80
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:45,393
And that is
my work late Wednesdays.
81
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,894
I know.
82
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,530
And maybe Dave can join you
at work.
83
00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:52,266
I-I'm sorry,
what work are we talking about?
84
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,001
Calvin has a weekly Spades game
85
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,920
that he doesn't
want you to know about.
86
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,237
Tina!
87
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:02,009
So you don't want Dave
to play cards with you?
88
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,711
Wow.
89
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:06,079
It be your own people.
90
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:09,417
Gemma, come on. Gemma, come on.
91
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,101
Look, you've just
got to understand,
92
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:14,288
Dave has infiltrated
my whole life.
93
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,989
I mean, he's at my barbershop,
94
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,426
he all up and through
the yardecues.
95
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:23,431
He saw Sinners before I did
and spoiled the ending.
96
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,534
I didn't know vampires
Riverdance.
97
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:29,954
I get it.
98
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,772
So Spades
is your last Black thing.
99
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,106
I mean, you said it, not me.
100
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,008
I mean, you the one
that made it racial.
101
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,277
Oh, Calvin,
102
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,212
just cut the crap.
103
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:41,966
The sooner you say yes,
104
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,817
the sooner she can go home
and shower
105
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,553
and I can get the air freshener.
106
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,307
-Okay, fine.
-Oh! Thank you. Thank you.
107
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,525
-Okay, all right now.
-Oh, right, fair, fair.
108
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:56,430
J'ai des chaussures.
J'ai des chaussettes.
109
00:04:56,530 --> 00:05:00,818
Maman a des chaussures.
Maman a des chaussettes.
110
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,870
Ooh, she's so great.
111
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,022
We have a nanny
who speaks French.
112
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,874
Oui oui, we do.
113
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:12,446
-Oh, hey.
-Malcolm.
114
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,365
What? Hey... oh,
so did you give her a heads-up?
115
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,817
No, we were too scared.
What if she flips out?
116
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,686
Well, Courtney,
that's a strong possibility.
117
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,454
-Get out of here right now.
-I don't have to leave anywhere.
118
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:27,761
Hey, Everette.
It's been a while.
119
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,699
Oh. Hey.
120
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,235
It-It's me.
121
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,970
Malcolm.
122
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,672
Malcolm...
123
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:42,342
We went out.
124
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,548
Oh, yeah, of course, yeah.
125
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,850
You know, it's good to see you.
126
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,321
She don't remember you.
127
00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:55,489
Be quiet.
128
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,825
Um, uh, it was three years ago.
129
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,727
Rose Bowl Flea Market?
130
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,562
I bought you an Italian ice?
131
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,880
Oh.
132
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,331
Of course.
133
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,734
Uh, Italian ice.
134
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,806
She don't remember you at all.
135
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,895
Thanks for inviting me, Calvin.
136
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,764
Gotta say, it feels good
to get out.
137
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:23,917
Hey, look, my pleasure.
Just, um, be cool, man.
138
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:27,087
Wow, look at this setup.
139
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,356
It's two tables, Dave.
140
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,742
Why have you been
keeping this from me?
141
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,594
Hey, guys.
142
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,328
What's shakin', bacon?
143
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,032
That's why.
144
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,418
Wow, Calvin.
145
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,035
So I couldn't bring my mama,
146
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,037
but you bring Dave?
147
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,574
Yeah, new blood, man.
148
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,075
Now, who wants
to be his partner?
149
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,578
Come on, Calvin,
you know the rules.
150
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:53,280
Whoever brings the new dude
has to be his partner.
151
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:54,748
Who made that rule?
152
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,133
You.
153
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,218
Well, I'll just unmake it.
154
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,420
You can't unmake rules.
That's a rule.
155
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,922
That's stupid.
Who made that rule?
156
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,124
-You.
-You.
157
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,031
She went down like a rock.
158
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:14,367
-Everette and her baby Pilates really wore her out.
-Hey now.
159
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:17,337
Uh, hello.
160
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,739
Have we met?
161
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,910
Ha ha, Marty.
162
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:26,379
No, I'm sorry, I just, I just
don't remember you at all.
163
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,550
Man, I can't believe this.
164
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,519
I am a very memorable man.
165
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,604
You are.
Plenty of girls remember you.
166
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,422
And hate you.
167
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,091
-This is a blessing.
-It really is.
168
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,277
I was so worried
we were going to lose Everette.
169
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,162
Let's just take the win.
170
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:46,333
Maybe she doesn't remember me
because my beard is different.
171
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:47,935
It's exactly the same.
172
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,872
It is much thicker
and more defined.
173
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,908
Oh, Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm.
174
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,777
Maybe you don't do sex well.
175
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,749
Tina.
176
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:06,754
This has been... so hard.
177
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,990
Thank you so much
178
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,160
for helping me through it.
179
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,262
You are my rock
180
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,598
and my bestie.
181
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,500
Oh.
182
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,938
I love you.
183
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,275
Aw.
184
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,046
A thumbs-up?
185
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,785
That's it? Huh.
186
00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:42,006
Maybe we can hang?
187
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:46,794
I need my Tina time.
188
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:51,982
Aw. My girl wants to hang.
189
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,401
Oh. Oh...
190
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,141
"K."
191
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,680
One letter? K?
192
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:11,652
I open myself up to my best
friend and all I get is a "K"?
193
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,557
Or I could just drink
194
00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,760
this whole bottle
195
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:23,163
by myself.
196
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:28,669
Ha! Girl, you so crazy.
197
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,810
"LOL."
198
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:39,864
"LOL"?
199
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:43,583
Ugh! I will not be LOL'd at.
200
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,288
-Ha ha, that's how you do it.
-Yeah.
201
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:51,291
Boy, we damn near ran
a Boston on y'all.
202
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,393
And what is a Boston?
203
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,595
It means they beating our ass,
Dave.
204
00:09:56,864 --> 00:10:00,333
All right, I bid three books.
205
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,534
I got four.
206
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,370
Yeah, I got three.
207
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:05,405
One.
208
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:07,808
One? That's all you got?
209
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,727
Well, it's like I always say,
Calvin,
210
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,729
under-promise, over-deliver.
211
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,546
That's not how it works, Dave.
212
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,917
If we over-deliver,
then we're penalized.
213
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,786
A'ight, come on, let's play.
214
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,854
Jack of diamonds.
215
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,022
Ace of diamonds!
216
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,224
Oh, oh, you're coming in hard.
217
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,193
Well, I'm about to
come in harder.
218
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,896
No one is as hard as me.
219
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:34,935
Hey, Calvin, get your boy, man.
220
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,955
-Four of diamonds.
-Okay.
221
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,440
Ace of spades.
222
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:46,430
Dave, w-why would you play that?
I already won the hand.
223
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,783
-I know, but now we both won it.
-That's not how it works.
224
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:53,520
You know what? Time out.
I need another drink.
225
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:56,589
Okay, Calvin. We've got this.
226
00:10:56,690 --> 00:11:00,477
No, we don't. See, I knew
this was gonna be an issue,
227
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,595
that's why I didn't
really want you here.
228
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,448
No, no, no...
look, I'm a fast learner.
229
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,266
It's not about that.
230
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,785
What do you mean?
231
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,119
Check this out.
232
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,571
-God is good...
-All the time.
233
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,473
-Whoomp...
-There it is.
234
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:16,109
-Don't stop...
-Get it, get it.
235
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:20,247
Oh. Okay, you know what?
Now I'm double hurt, Calvin.
236
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,467
Okay, first of all,
I knew the "God was good" thing,
237
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,452
I just wasn't ready.
238
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,487
And second of all,
239
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,289
after all that
we've been through,
240
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,992
you are still
keeping me at an arm's length.
241
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:34,478
Look, Dave,
you're my man, 50 grand.
242
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:37,164
But there's a vibe that you
and I don't have...
243
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,631
it-it's a certain...
244
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,634
-Je ne sais quoi?
-Definitely not.
245
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,805
Dave,
246
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:48,208
what he's saying is
you're not like us.
247
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,177
Okay, well, what does that mean?
248
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:53,480
You don't have a Black bond.
249
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,785
Whoops. There it is.
250
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,953
It's "whoomp."
251
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:11,264
Wow, Dave, you're pretty good
with those cards.
252
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,351
Yeah, well, I was a birthday
party magician for six years.
253
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,853
But you wouldn't
know that, Calvin,
254
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,505
'cause apparently we don't vibe.
255
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,342
Come on, Dave, can we just
win one game, please?
256
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:25,445
Oh, oh, so you're admitting that
you can't do this without me?
257
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,917
Yes. You literally have
to have a partner to play.
258
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,288
Whatever, y'all.
I'm getting four books.
259
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,890
I got three.
260
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:39,159
And I got five on it.
261
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,410
Ten.
262
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,030
Ten?
263
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,532
Well, Dave, that means we
would have to win every book.
264
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:48,235
Come on, man,
you gotta take that back.
265
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,004
Uh-uh. No backsies. Your rule.
266
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,206
Look, Calvin, we can do this.
267
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:56,043
We have made such a great team
so many times before.
268
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,062
Look, we-we've done
escape rooms together.
269
00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,596
We've pop-locked together.
270
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,815
The only thing we haven't done
together is golfed
271
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,584
because I don't
have any clubs of my own.
272
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,270
Dave, what-what are you
talking about?
273
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:07,938
You've never told me
you wanted to golf.
274
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:11,558
Right.
Because I don't have any clubs.
275
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:20,767
All right, okay.
276
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:25,405
I guess the next time we go,
we'll have to use mine.
277
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,124
But after that,
278
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:31,811
we can finally catch up on those
last two Kevin Hart movies.
279
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,950
Okay, can we stop talking
about y'all's date night
280
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,919
and get back to the card game?
281
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,955
Don't be a hater, Trey.
282
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,473
Oh, that's it? Okay.
283
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,792
Yup, jack of clubs,
that should walk, right there.
284
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,460
Man, that's all you got?
285
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,480
-Pow!
-Pop, pop.
286
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,933
Okay, well, uh,
287
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,819
two of spades.
288
00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:56,136
Sorry, guys.
289
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,138
Dave, no, you don't say sorry.
290
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,874
This is Spades.
You supposed to talk trash.
291
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,442
Okay, well...
292
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:05,612
two of spades. Put that
in your pipe and smoke it.
293
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,018
Courtney.
294
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,220
-Can I talk to you?
-Sure.
295
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,788
Alone? It's a girl thing.
296
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:19,143
Oh. Okay.
I'll just go around the block.
297
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,511
Oh, hey, Gemma.
298
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,647
This is going to be hilarious.
299
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,015
Next time you see Malcolm,
300
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,467
act like you don't
remember him at all.
301
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,838
Are you leaving or what?
302
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,977
You text, right?
303
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,712
Yeah, I text.
304
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,498
Oh. Great.
305
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,283
If you were reaching out
to a friend
306
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,119
about something emotional...
you texted them "I love you"...
307
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,989
how would you feel if they
sent back a thumbs-up?
308
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,876
Just a thumb?
Geez, that's harsh.
309
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:55,712
Right? Well, and then
I texted "Maybe we can hang,"
310
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,797
and she sent back a "K."
311
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,667
-A "K"?
-Yes, Courtney. A "K."
312
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,521
And then
this person "LOL'd" at me.
313
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:09,509
Gemma, I'm sorry,
but she is not your friend.
314
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:12,062
So I should call her out, right?
315
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,398
This person is toxic.
316
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,284
-You have to call her out.
-Oh, I'm gonna let her have it.
317
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:19,886
-Good.
-Right now.
318
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,889
Oh, God. This friend is Tina?
319
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,059
She's no friend, right?
Your words.
320
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,529
Ah, Tina Butler,
321
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,598
is there anything you can't do?
322
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:37,104
Tina Butler,
the toxicity ends now!
323
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,873
I'm sorry, what?
324
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:44,244
You know how vulnerable I am.
My husband lost his job.
325
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,980
He's spiraling...
this afternoon he pickled a yam.
326
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,581
A yam!
327
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,085
I am at my most fragile,
328
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:55,722
and you "LOL" at me?
329
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:58,742
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Gemma,
slow down.
330
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:00,610
What are you talking about?
331
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,595
What am I talking about?
332
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,565
Ring a bell?
333
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,733
No. It doesn't.
334
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:09,636
The texts.
I opened my heart to you.
335
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,422
And you sent back a thumbs-up,
336
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:13,906
and then a "K."
337
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,608
Gemma.
338
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,762
I was painting my nails.
339
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,814
Well, that's no excuse
for being a...
340
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,484
Oh, so...
341
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,353
you couldn't type.
342
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:27,471
No!
343
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,589
I was poking the phone
with my knuckles.
344
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,479
So you weren't being mean?
345
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,130
Aw, man.
346
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:39,232
You are a white girl
that needs a hug.
347
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,669
-I am.
-Oh, my gosh.
348
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,989
Look...
349
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:46,906
I know you're going through
a lot right now.
350
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,309
I mean,
anybody would be freaking out.
351
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:53,146
I also have a gut full
of pickles and chardonnay.
352
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,447
Ooh, okay.
353
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:57,284
You know what?
I'll get you some ginger ale.
354
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,320
And let's agree...
text messages are a terrible way
355
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,455
to talk about emotional stuff.
356
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,124
You know? There's no context.
357
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,792
You're right. And I shouldn't
358
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,460
have let Courtney
get me all riled up.
359
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,596
Courtney?
360
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,485
There it is.
361
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,854
12 books in a row.
362
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,006
Come on, Julian,
we gotta win this last one.
363
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,875
Okay, thanks, Trey.
That's helpful.
364
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,246
Come on, now,
show me what you got.
365
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:27,414
Yeah.
366
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:28,948
Ah.
367
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,352
Bam! There it is!
That's the sweep, baby!
368
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,321
Swept 'em.
369
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:35,922
Man, how the hell
did they do that?
370
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:37,841
Well, I think
it's quite clear, Trey.
371
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:40,660
Calvin and I have a bond
of our own.
372
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,829
Well, I don't like it.
373
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,388
Hello, Everette.
374
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,939
Hey...
375
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,641
you.
376
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,910
-Malcolm.
-Malcolm.
377
00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:01,047
Yes, uh, well, listen, I was
just in the neighborhood,
378
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,049
thought I would bring you
an Italian ice.
379
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,051
Maybe jog the old memory.
380
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:07,587
Ooh, cherry.
381
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,406
-That's my favorite.
-Oh.
382
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,524
-How'd you know that?
-Because we dated.
383
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,025
Ooh.
384
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,028
Right. Look, I'm really sorry
about that.
385
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,730
I just have no recollection.
386
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,632
Which is weird,
because I usually have
387
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,285
-an uncanny memory for most things.
-Mm.
388
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,087
-Like, check this out... Wesley Snipes?
-Okay.
389
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:24,904
-Mm-hmm.
-His birthday's July 31.
390
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:25,938
That's crazy, right?
391
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,225
Yeah, that is crazy.
392
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,876
You know what else is crazy?
393
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:32,745
Is that we watched Passenger 57
at your apartment.
394
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,232
Ooh, look, I'm sorry.
395
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,916
Okay, girl, please sit down.
396
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,786
Listen, it was a Saturday night.
397
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,222
We had Thai food,
we watched a movie,
398
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,557
and then we went
to Dave & Busters.
399
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,726
Did we play
that basketball game?
400
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,445
Yeah! Pop-A-Shot.
401
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,897
-That was you?
-That was me.
402
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,267
-Oh, my God.
-Yeah.
403
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:55,602
I beat you.
404
00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:58,571
And you said your machine
wasn't working right.
405
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,741
Okay, well, that does sound
like a legitimate concern.
406
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:05,278
So we switched machines,
and I beat you again.
407
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,597
And then your friend Trey
laughed at you,
408
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,649
and you had a complete meltdown.
409
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,621
Okay, but I did buy you
mozzarella sticks.
410
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,457
Wow, I really blocked
all that out.
411
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:20,092
It was, by far,
the worst date I've ever had.
412
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:25,965
Are you sure that was me?
413
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,738
Ooh. Hey.
You ate all the pickles.
414
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,140
Yeah, let's go with that.
415
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,109
Well, I hope you enjoyed them.
416
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,912
Because the Pickler
is hanging up his cape.
417
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,615
Yeah, he had a cape.
418
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,136
Which I don't need anymore,
thanks to Calvin.
419
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:49,289
You know, I don't know if
you know this, Gemma,
420
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,224
but, actually,
421
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,426
I've been in a bit
of a weird place
422
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,479
since I lost my job.
423
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,564
Really?
424
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,301
I know,
I've put on a brave face.
425
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,836
But...
I was feeling like a loser.
426
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:05,372
And, I don't know, last night,
427
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:06,990
Calvin made me feel
like a winner.
428
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,875
You're damn straight. Hey.
429
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:11,344
Hey, you know, you're the best
Spades partner I ever had.
430
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,813
Wasn't it amazing?
We were like Butch and Sundance.
431
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,348
Like chicken and waffles.
432
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,384
Like Crate and Barrel.
433
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:21,488
Okay, that's on me, guys,
I encouraged him.
434
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:24,874
Well, the dream is over.
435
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,693
Yeah, a month to find
the perfect nanny,
436
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:27,994
two days for her to quit.
437
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:30,330
Oh, no. That's a shame.
438
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,798
Yeah, sure is.
439
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,334
You know, I'm still
Facebook friends with Dagmara.
440
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,202
I can reach out.
441
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,371
How old is she now?
442
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,024
Mrs. B?
443
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,009
We may be in need of
a little help with Daphne
444
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:45,362
next week until we can
find a replacement.
445
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,079
Hmm, I don't know.
446
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,916
Are you sure you want
a babysitter who's toxic?
447
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:54,921
-Gemma.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
448
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:03,630
Captioning sponsored by CBS
449
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:06,399
and TOYOTA.
450
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:09,936
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
31402
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.