Original subtitles

I've been meaning to say about that - money. - If you need another lend.

All you've got to do is ask. 200 do you?

Dan Braxton, nice to meet you, mate. Weird. That's Celia's surname.

We were married for 20 years.

♪ And then she smiles

♪ And my heart starts beating

♪ I go weak inside ♪

Stell, there's a woman loitering at the end of the street.

I've been watching her. Weirdo.

You've got too much time on your hands.

She's drinking vodka straight from the bottle.

Oh, my God! It can't be.

Stella, be careful. She's clearly a drunk.

Paula?

Hiya, Stell. Waiting for you to come home I was.

Oh!

And if the girls start playing kiss chase, you start running this time.

See you. Ta-ra!

Eh! And no kicking!

You don't call. You don't write. I'm starting to take it personally.

Well, I've been a bit tied up, like. How do you know where I live?

I make a habit of getting to know my clients. Family included.

Shall we say four hundred today, the rest next week?

The rest? Interest rates.

Mine triple after a week.

Thing is, I'm a bit short. Next week, Luke.

Don't wind me up.

18 months, Paul. You could've told me you were coming.

I wanted to surprise you. Yeah, well, you done that all right.

And where too is Dai? Why are you being so cagey about him?

I'm not, it was just a last-minute thing, that's all.

Look, I come back to see Aunty Brenda.

I heard she had a heart attack and thought I should check in on her.

Here you are, Ben. I haven't forgotten you.

What am I supposed to do with that? Use your imagination.

Oh, ignore him. He's in love. Shut up, Mum!

In love? How old is he now, 12? 17!17!

Anyway, stop changing the subject.

You and me have been best friends since infants.

I know when you're hiding something. All right, Sherlock.

Aunty Brenda said you were in a bad way because of fellow-me-lad next door.

Yeah, she was worried you were going to do a Britney, shave your head.

Oh! I am not going to shave my head.

Just as well. Your face - is too round. - Here he is!

Ooh, is that the time? Glen and Marj's donkey

have a fitting for a new summer coat at half past.

- What's wrong with her? - He's tamping because you abandoned him a year ago

and went swanning off to Tenerife. What?

Bobby's words, not mine. Thank you, Ben!

Right, you are coming with me. We've got a lot of catching up to do.

- Oh, hello again. - Oh, yeah, sorry, I didn't introduce you properly before.

Um, Michael, this is Paula my best friend in the whole world.

And she's also married to my brother.

And, um, Paula this is Michael, he's my...

...next-door neighbour. Or the bloke who broke your heart.

Behave! I've heard a lot about you.

Yeah? I've heard a lot about you too, good boy.

Ooh! While I remember, - I've got some of your post. - Ah!

A law magazine and a catalogue about stair lifts.

How strangely prophetic.

Right, better get on. I'm helping Alan with the night cafe opening.

Oh, yeah. I'll be going - to that tonight. - Will you?

OK. Well, good to meet you, Paula. Whatevs.

Nice arse, mind. Oi!

We're calling it Alans' After Dark.

What do you think?

About what? The name for the late-night opening.

Oh, I love it. What did I just say?

I'm sorry, I was thinking about something else.

It's all about branding, see. Like shell suits or that Millennium Dome.

- It'll be great. - Is, um, is Dan still working up the hospital?

What? I thought he might be leaving soon.

I don't know. Why don't you ask him yourself? I'm going to be late.

OK.The meat's marinating and the - - veg is all chopped. - See ya. - Ta.

While I'm at college, all you have to do is get customers in.

Don't worry, everything will be - fine. - I've been looking at the rota.

Says here I'm working tonight. Yes, all hands to the pump.

Well, that's child labour that is. You're not a child, Nadine.

No, but my unborn baby is. And we for one are not working no night shifts.

What do you think I am, a security guard?

You can find someone else to run your sweater shop.

But we need a waitress! Well, get a new one.

I shouldn't be doing this.

That's right. An airship. My face on one side.

"Hashtag vote Aunty Brenda" on the other.

How much?

You just send the bill to Dai - Davies. - You've got a visitor!

- Aunty Bren! - Well, look who the cat's dragged in.

The Scarlet Pompernel herself.

Three years it's been. It's 18 months, actually.

Not a postcard, a phone call.

Heaven forfend a crate of sangria at Christmas.

Hang on. I thought you said Aunty Brenda called you? Paula Kosh. Next of kin.

Kind of. So how is she doing, doctor?

Every breath's a struggle, it is,

knowing each one might be my last.

She can be discharged tomorrow.

She's got a low-fat diet to follow and a light-exercise routine.

- Pfffffff! - But, all in all, she's made a speedy recovery.

That's great news. I should go. Nurse Morris.

Mr Honey.

- What? - That doctor, practically undressing you with his eyes he was.

Don't be daft. - Stella? - All right.

He asked me out last week, OK? And you bit his hand off, I hope?

Er, no. Trust me.

Best way to get over your solicitor, get under a nice doctor.

Right I am off to Daddy's house. Face the music.

Before you go, get me the number of Al's cafe

because I ain't touching the food in here with a what-you-call.

I've got a very important business meeting now, Luke.

I may be some time. Aye, all right.

High-powered negotiations, it is. Nun's the word.

Eh! Eh! Woah, woah, woah, woah!

Don't even think about it, Keckers.

My cash not good enough for you? What cash?

Signed up with an agency and everything.

What, are you a model? I'm a ladies companion.

- You what? - Women pay me to have dinner with them.

Keep them company, like. Are you for real?

And I've got three grand burning a hole in my pocket.

Hey! How's about I take you on a - test drive? - Nah, you're all right.

Looking for something a bit more classy, like.

Iwan. This is Karl, my executive assistant.

Pleasured to meet your acquaintance but.

I wonder if we're still in time for the early bird special?

I think it's best we keep a clear head, don't you?

So, I'm intrigued.

What exactly is it I can I do for you?

It's not what you can do for me, Dai. It's what I can do for you.

Ah!

You all right? I don't know.

Since you turned up, I haven't stopped thinking about you.

See, I'd put you out of my mind, you know?

I'd got used to not wondering where you were or what you were doing.

And it was so much easier that way.

Because I see you now and I think of Liam.

You remind me...

We might have stayed together, you know.

Do you ever think about that?

Of course I do.

♪ I can see a lot of life in you

♪ And I think the dress looks nice on you

♪ I can see a lot of life in you

Pleasure doing business with you, Iwan.

I'll have my solicitor get onto it straightaway.

Remember this day, Karl. A moment in history this is.

- How's that? - Because I, Dai Davies, have just put one over

on one of Pontyberry's brightest businessmen.

So you're a little short-staffed this evening, then?

No, I'm a little no-staffed. Nadine refuses to work nights.

Aunty Brenda called with an order for meatballs.

Meatballs? Shouldn't she be watching what she eats?

The woman's on her deathbed, Michael Jackson.

And there you are trying to deprive her of her last meal.

- Disgusting it is. - I'll take them up the hospital myself.

Might drop in and see Celia. Everything OK?

The ex-husband's still knocking about. The physio.

Just want to keep an eye on him, is that it?

He's bloody gorgeous, Michael.

How am I meant to compete?

What? If I was Celia, I know who I'd go for.

Who?

Well, you, of course. I'd choose you.

Really? Yeah!

I'll get those meatballs.

So she just turned up out the blue? Yeah. Like she'd never been away.

But that's Paula Kosh for you. Unpredictable to a tee.

Are you OK?Yeah. Only, you're really quiet today.

Stella...

I'm getting the coffees in. You ladies fancy one?

No, thanks. Go on then. I'll meet you there.

Cappuccino with cinnamon and chocolate.

Oh, my God! Are you two - up to no good? - What?

Shut up! God! Imagine if Alan heard you talk like that!

All right, sorry. But you've got to admit, it is a bit odd.

We're just two old friends catching up, that's all.

"Hello?" Hiya, it's, er, Luke Morgan.

"Come in."

Tell me, Luke. Would you say you're well-versed

in current affairs? The arts? Huh?

Because we're not just talking cosy dinners here.

Only last night, one of my clients was looking for someone to accompany her to Tosca.

Oh, is that the new place by the ring road?

Take off your shirt. - You what?! - Well,

if you're going to insist on cracking such awful jokes, the least you can do is look pretty.

So, what do I have to do on these dates, like?

You smile. You make them feel like they're the only woman in the room.

I'm not going to sleep with them.

What do you think this is? Some kind of knocking shop?

Sorry. I shouldn't have come here.

The clients pay £80 an hour.

- 80? - That's right. Now smarten yourself up.

You've got your first job tonight.

I thought it'd be nice to have them all together in one album.

I was going to give it to you earlier... This is lovely.

Celia, my contract ends tomorrow. Right.

And I want you to come back with me, to Cumbria.

Dan, what are you talking about? Look, I know it sounds insane

but life's too short and I honestly think that me and you...

We gave up too soon.

I think you feel the same way but you're just too scared to say it.

You two mitching off? Alan!

Just visiting Aunty Brenda I am.

Right. Dan found some old photos of Liam.

- Did he? - I should be - getting back. - That's nice.

What's that smell? It's meatballs.

Worried you might get hungry or something?

- Hiya! - All right? Will you bath them while I get the tea on?

I only came home to get changed. Why? Where are you going?

I said I'd meet Yanto for a pint. Women trouble.

Oh, OK. I was hoping we could have a bit of dinner and a chat.

- What's wrong? - We got another letter from the bank today.

- - Well, I'm sorting it. - How? - We've got some money coming in later.

But you only got paid last week. An old mate of mine

owes me a bit of cash, like. So it'll be fine.

Right, Al. It's ready!

We've got spinach, cabbage, celery. It's all got to be green, see?

I couldn't find no broccoli, so I used mint-choc-chip instead.

And this is all I can have? No food. No buns. No nothing.

Mmmm! Mmm! My Karl do swear by it he do.

That's why he's go the body of a Greek goddess.

And I've sorted you some cover for this evening.

So don't say I don't take no responsibility for nothing.

Oh, dear me.

- Stell? - What are you doing back here? I thought you'd gone to see Daddy!

He wasn't in. I've just been talking to my new BFF,

Jeffrey Honey, about Alan's thing - tonight. - Is his name Jeffrey?

- He don't look like a Jeffrey. - And he said he would love to go along!

So? With you, Stell.

You going to ask him then or what? No! God! What is wrong with you?

Just think about all the hours of fun

you're going to have playing doctors and nurses.

- We are doctors and nurses. - Not to mention prescription drugs on tap.

Mr Honey, I am so sorry about my ex-best friend.

No, no, please, don't apologise.

I'd love to have dinner with you. I'll meet you there after my shift.

There's exciting! Please leave.

Oooh!

Have you ever waitressed before? I delivered a foal once.

Had to use Glen's best braces to yank him out.

What about you? God, no.

So, let me get this right, I get to drink as much as I want for free?

This is, like, the best job ever.

Just set the tables, will you?

All right?

Listen, love, we're fully staffed now,

so why don't you get home, have an - early night? - Oh, if you're sure.

Yeah. I am a bit out of sorts. Thank you.

- How was Dan today? - Fine. Well, you saw him yourself, didn't you?

Of course, of course.

Alan, have you done something different?

It's just, you look a bit... - What, slimmer? - No, strange.

You're standing oddly. Have you got cramp?

No. No.

See you later.

Ow! For God's sake! Dad?

- Hiya, Katie. - Well, I've seen it all now. You ironing?

Well, I need it for tonight. Alan's late-opening thing.

I thought we could try it out.

And is Stella going by any chance? Um, she said she might pop along.

Is that the best you can do? "Can I tk u ot on a d8?"Oh!

Sent.

Please tell me you are joking. What's all the shouting about?

Aunty Paula's only gone and - ruined my life! - Yeah, well, get used to it, if I was you, presh.

She's set me up with my boss! Oi!

In case conversation dries up, least he's got something to look at.

Oh! I feel like I'm back at school. What am I doing?

Now, you listen to me, young lady.

You deserve a man who's going to worship the ground that you walk on,

all right? So you get out there and you show him

what us Pontyberry girls are made of.

I've missed you.

♪ You need a note to yourself

♪ Note to yourself ♪

Hi! Hazel, is it?

You must be Luke. Come on then. Jump in!

Where are we going, then?

I thought this looked fun.

No way. I can't do it. Do what?

People know me in there. The owner's my mum's friend.

Ah! Well, I suppose I could call Carley.

All right. But we say you're a business client.

Ooh! Role play. How exciting.

Welcome to Alans' After Dark. Here to service your every need.

Evening, Al. Just here with a client of Dai's, I am.

She's interested in a fleet of taxis, she is.

We've made a booking under the name of Hazel Miller.

Excellent. Excellent.

Got a table in the corner? Follow me.

Thank you. I'll send Marjorie over with a menu.

Fine. I'll do it myself.

Sorry. This is all new to me.

Don't worry. I'll go gentle with you.

Oh, Alan, any chance of some red sauce?

Yeah, I'll be with you in a sec. Glen?

Have you brought your own food?! Aye, cheaper that way, see?

A table for two, please, Al, if it's not too much trouble.

How about by the window?

Luke? Oh, here we go.

Mum. Er, this is Hazel. She's a client of Dai's, she is.

Hello.

Luke's been running me through his rather impressive portfolio.

Have he? Yeah.

If you don't mind, Mum, we've got contracts to discuss.

That's all right, I won't cramp your style.

You just make sure Dai Davies picks up the bill.

Oh, don't worry, it's on me.

Nurse Morris.

I'm sorry I'm late. I had a ruptured spleen.

Ah! We're just over there.

Right.

I expect you do this all the time, do you? Wining and dining nurses?

You're the first actually. Oh! Prefer them higher up the food chain, do you?

No, I mean you're the first person I've been out with since my wife died.

Oh!

So what is it you do then when you're not saving lives?

Tapeworms mainly.

Or intestinal parasites.

Fascinating creatures.

Have you lost something?

Um, if you could be any animal on the planet,

which would you be and why?

Al? Are you OK? Yep. It's an old lollipop injury.

It's just your face seems a little...

- - Flushed? - Puce. - Yeah. Table for two, please.

Just sit wherever you want. It's really busy.

Yeah.

Oh, what a nice surprise.

Why? I told you I was coming this morning.

You look nice. Doesn't she, Dad? Absolutely.

- Thanks. - Do you want to join us? Er, I can't.

It's just...

It's not what you think.

Well, actually, it probably is what you think.

I'm just going to get a menu. Don't let us keep you.

Shall we?

Are you ready to order?

Could you tell us what the specials - are, please? - That's right.

You've got them written down, presh?

What's that then? The specials.

I'll just go and find out for you.

Oh, Marj?

Are you ready to order?

You were going to find out about the specials for us.

That's right. You let me know when you've made up your mind.

If you could be any character from literature, who would it be and why?

Where did that come from?

What are you doing down there? Oh, my God! Is that...?

Prompt cards.

I was just about to move on to Impressionist painters.

Oh! Who are we trying to kid?

I don't think I'm ready for this either.

Sorry. I'm just a little out of practise.

Look, I tell you what. Let's just forget about being on a date

and enjoy the food. If we ever get to eat.

I got orders mounting up here. Couldn't Celia come and help?

Order for table five.

There's nothing on it. Don't worry. It's all up here.

Fancy dessert? Actually, it's getting a bit late...

Do you mind if we skip it? Of course not.

Let's make up for it next time, though. Ooh, before I forget.

This is for you.

Thanks. Trust me.

The pleasure's been all mine.

I remember the first date I ever went on.

It was the Science Museum. I got so nervous,

I went and hid in the gents and then I got locked in.

Hmm! How long were you in there for?

Um, 14 hours.

Ah, bless. How old were you?

27.

He's quite handsome, I suppose. Oh, thanks, Katie.

I can always rely on you to boost my flagging self-esteem.

What do you expect? You got yourself into this mess.

Which is why I intend to sort it. How?

By sitting here whilst Stella is on a date with another man? Nice one, Dad.

Is it me or is it hot in here? It's a kitchen. What do you expect?

Marj, I can't read a word this says.

Brown loaf. Washing powder. Three-dozen sugar lumps.

Oh, it's my shopping list! Lobster Thermidor for table six.

Lobster Thermidor's not on the menu! - Now he tells me! - Oh!

Look at all these plates just sitting here.

I can't work in these conditions! Steak medium rare, table four.

If you want a job doing properly...

Marj! I haven't had this much fun in ages.

I can't breathe. You've gone purple.

Puce. Get me the scissors.

Ah!

Sorry, Al, but we're still waiting on our...

Ah! What are you wearing?!

I thought I heard you go out. Fancied a walk.

Don't smoke no more. Well, you've changed.

Do you remember the first time we bunked off school

and come up here during - a sponsored run? - Yeah.

You nicked a bottle of Cinzano from your mum's cabinet.

And I passed out under that bush over there.

So, go on then, how was last night?

Oh, don't get me wrong.

He's a nice guy, he's just... Not Michael.

You and Dai don't know how lucky you are.

Still together after all these years.

Hmmm!

What?

Paula? We had a fight.

Oh! That's why I came back here.

I didn't have nowhere else to go. I knew there was something.

What was it about this time? Do you know, I can't even remember.

You two are always rowing. Don't mean you're not mad about each other.

Yeah. Look, do you want to come and help me

blow up some balloons for Aunty Brenda's welcome home party? No, you're all right.

Going to stay up here for a bit.

I give it two weeks before you and Dai

are ripping each other's clothes off again.

Banjo! Come on.

Rah!

It has been a real eye-opener for me this have.

Watching you all slaving away and to what end?

So that good men, like me, get to fight on for another day.

Well, let me tell you something now.

You lot are the beating heart of this valley.

And I, for one, am going to make sure health is top of my agenda.

Remember. A vote for Aunty Brenda is a vote for life!

And I'll see you later, kid. Looking forward to it.

Get me out this stinking cesspit.

Is Iwan about? I've got something - for him. - He's been and gone, mate.

Got any tips for the one o'clock?

Well, according to this, your expenditure last night outweighs

your gross by almost 20%.

Well, that's something.

That means you lost money, Alan.

Do you mind if I shoot off? No, of course.

Alan, you may as well know, I'm meeting Dan for a drink

before he heads off.

I just didn't want you to think I was going behind your back.

Everything's OK is it, Celia? No. But it will be.

Here I am, a walking medical miracle

and not so much as a brass band to welcome me home.

Shaming it is. Sorry I'm late.

Eh, have a seat, kid.

Oh, don't tell me, Aunty Brenda has invited you and all?

What? No, I'm meeting Celia. She's probably in the back.

Eh, Dan, her and Alan, they're doing all right, you know.

And Alan's an old friend of mine.

We sort of look out for each other.

I really wouldn't want to see him get hurt.

Sure. But, at the end of the day, Celia is a grown-up, isn't she?

Stella, get this man a sausage on a stick!

I've got to shake your hand. You saved Aunty Brenda's life you did.

- Hmmm, like Lassie. - Well, I think you'll find Nurse Morris

also played an integral part in your recovery.

Every time I take a breathOh, hiya. Sorry, hope I'm not interrupting.

Um, I just wanted to bring these flowers for the patient.

Thank you.

How did you know where to find us? I invited him.

Oh, right.

Well, um, have a seat.

Seriously, what is your problem

that you have to keep sticking your nose in everywhere?

Shut up. You love it.

You've seen the man. What's Celia want with a pantomime horse

when she's got a stallion in the stable?

Right, I'm calling Celia. There's no point. She's with Dan.

Doing what? Running off together for all I know!

You need to go after her. It's too late!

Gwyn Pryce tried to woo me once with pickled eggs.

Went on for months it did. Every time I went in that chip shop.

I couldn't take it no more, so I had to come clean to Karl I did.

What did he do? Fuming he was.

Fists all clenched. Sweat dripping from his brow.

My big beast.

I can do this.

I can do this!

Stella's right. Alan is a nice bloke.

But it's not like you're married, is it?

I mean, you've only known him five minutes.

And it's kinder to do this now than drag the whole thing out.

Always did make assumptions, - didn't you? - What?

Coming here, assuming I'd drop everything and leap into your arms.

Just like you assumed I'd bounce back after Liam - and keep looking after you. - What?

And you assumed I'd put up with your drinking and shouting.

Why are you bringing this up now? Your endless self-pity...

Until you were ready to sort - yourself out. - I did sort myself out.

I stopped drinkingAll about you, - wasn't it? - That's the whole point!

I'm not the same person. I've changed. Things have changed.

You're right about that. Things have changed.

It's been really lovely to see you again, Dan. I mean that.

But it's made me realise, I don't want to see you again.

I have a good man in Alan. He really loves me.

And my life's with him now.

Celia, don't do this.

I came looking for you, didn't I?

But you came two years too late, love.

I think you're making a mistake.

I know that I'm not.

Look after yourself, Dan.

Please don't leave me, Celia! What?

I haven't eaten since yesterday. Alan, what are you talking about?

I may not have a six-pack

but I've got a big heart.

And a cafe.

You've got it all wrong.

Yeah. And so did I.

Good luck.

I tell you what's worrying my constituents.

Self-service checkouts.

- Hiya. - Hiya. All right?

Do you want a drink? I'll have a lager, please.

My Luke's looking tired. Hmm?

Too many nights out wining and dining - your clients, is it? - What clients?

Er, Hazel something, they were up at the cafe last night.

Don't know a Hazel. I knew a Horace once.

Tall as a tree and twice as shady.

I hear you live mostly on - the continent. - Tenerife, yeah.

I know one sentence in Spanish,

una patatas fritas, por favor. A bag of chips, please.

That's impressive. So you're not a man of many tongues, I take it?

No. Just one tongue.

Um, can I get you a drink?

Go on then. Surprise me.

It's not what you're thinking. Really?

I only done it once. Done what?

That woman, Hazel.

I got paid to take her out, OK?

- - She paid you? - Yeah, she did. - Oh, my God! Are you a male prostitute?

What? Don't talk soft! I just kept her company, that's all.

It pays well and we need the money. So ask me for help!

Well, you're not exactly rolling in it yourself.

Right, well I'll get another job. Two. Whatever it takes.

Just promise me you'll give it up.

It's a lot of money, Mum. Promise me, Luke.

All right!

Enjoying yourself? I am, as it happens.

You're practically one of the family.

Everyone's been very welcoming.

She's quite a woman, isn't she?

And from what I can gather, she could teach me a thing or two.

I beg your pardon?

Um...

You leave Pontyberry without so much as a finger buffet up the club.

Not a thought for me and Daddy up to our eyes in debt.

And then you have the audacity to waltz back into town

like Liza Minnelli on a comeback tour.

Where were you when we...?

When I needed you, hmmm?

Oh, God! I've missed you.

I've missed you too, you bloody idiot.

It's been hell here without you.

This town might as well carry a label saying 100% polyester.

I lost him, Bobs.

Who now? Dai, man! Who do you think?

We're getting divorced.

- Yeah? - I think, perhaps, I'll leave you to it.

Don't walk away from me, Honey. Will you two just pack it in?

I think we should settle this the old-fashioned way, don't you?

What are you doing? Who'd have thought it.

Two grown men fighting over Stella Morris!

Well, come on then! Give me your best shot!

Oh, for goodness sake! Don't say I didn't offer.

Ooh!

Argh!

I think I've broken my hand. Is there a doctor in the house?

What?

Wriggle your fingers for me.

You're fine. Mum!

It's Lily. She said yes to a date!

Come here.

What was it about, anyway? Well, you mainly.

Michael... I know. It's none of my business. Ah!

Me and Mr Honey, we're just friends.

Did you know his first name's Jeffrey?

He doesn't look like a Jeffrey. That's what I thought.

Can we go home now? Are you OK?

No.

I haven't been this upset since the 31st of May 1998.

Why? What happened?

Geri left the Spice Girls.

No, not then. Now! Not that I'm surprised.

They always did have a very volatile relationship.

Are we still on the Spice Girls? Paula and Dai!

Getting divorced.

She told me it was just a row.

Where is she?

Una patatas fritas, por favor! - Por favor! - Ohhhhhh!

Has Dan gone? Yeah.

And everything's all right - with you and Al? - Not quite.

But it might be. Food of the gods, this.

Alan? You all right?

No. What is it? What's happened?

Alan Williams...

I've had to write it down. I'm that nervous.

"From the first day I met you, you have consistently made me smile."

"I feel safe and happy whenever I'm next to you."

"And even when I'm not next to you, I feel safe and happy

because I know how much you love me and how much I love you."

"Apart from my boy, Liam,

you are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"So I want to know if you will do me the honour

of becoming my wife?" Husband!

I mean husband!

Will you marry me, Alan?

Oh, Christ, yes!

To Alan and Celia! To Alan and Celia!

I have got no house, no job, no husband

and no idea what to do with myself.

We're thinking of a fancy-dress theme.

Well, you know what they say about second weddings?

They do always end in divorce. You know, for a nurse,

you have a terrible bedside manner.

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