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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:05,881 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 2 00:00:05,957 --> 00:00:09,154 ♪ In living color♪ 3 00:00:09,227 --> 00:00:11,787 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 4 00:00:11,863 --> 00:00:14,457 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 5 00:00:14,532 --> 00:00:16,523 ♪ In living color♪ 6 00:00:19,237 --> 00:00:21,296 ♪ In living color♪ 7 00:00:21,372 --> 00:00:23,602 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 8 00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:26,075 ♪ It's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 9 00:00:26,144 --> 00:00:28,704 ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ 10 00:00:28,780 --> 00:00:30,179 ♪ In living color♪ 11 00:00:30,248 --> 00:00:32,876 ♪ How would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 12 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,180 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 13 00:00:35,253 --> 00:00:37,346 - ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 14 00:00:37,422 --> 00:00:41,415 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 15 00:00:41,492 --> 00:00:44,120 ♪ In living color♪ 16 00:00:44,195 --> 00:00:45,628 ♪ In living color♪ 17 00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:49,189 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 18 00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,462 ♪ In living color♪ 19 00:00:51,536 --> 00:00:54,004 ♪ In living color♪ 20 00:00:54,072 --> 00:00:57,769 - ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 21 00:00:57,842 --> 00:01:01,972 - ♪ What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 22 00:01:02,046 --> 00:01:04,480 ♪ How would you feel knowing everybody was your friend ♪ 23 00:01:04,549 --> 00:01:06,642 ♪ From thin to thick and through thick and thin ♪ 24 00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,845 ♪ And egotistical trips was put to an end ♪ 25 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:13,482 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 26 00:01:13,558 --> 00:01:16,891 ♪ In living color♪ 27 00:01:16,961 --> 00:01:20,419 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 28 00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,796 ♪ It's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 29 00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:26,735 - ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 30 00:01:26,804 --> 00:01:28,772 ♪ How would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 31 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,705 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 32 00:01:30,775 --> 00:01:34,609 - ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 33 00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:38,308 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 34 00:01:38,383 --> 00:01:41,216 - ♪ In living color♪♪ - [Applause, Cheering] 35 00:01:41,285 --> 00:01:44,254 Ladies and gentlemen, Keenan Ivory Wayans. 36 00:01:45,490 --> 00:01:48,482 [Cheering, Applause] 37 00:01:57,068 --> 00:01:59,866 All right. Thank you. 38 00:01:59,937 --> 00:02:02,804 Thank you. I'm Keenan Ivory Wayans, and this is In Living Color. 39 00:02:02,874 --> 00:02:06,139 - Thanks for being here tonight. Yeah. - [Cheering, Applause] 40 00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:10,306 I'd like to say hello to all our new fans out there. 41 00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:12,645 Thanks for tuning in. We got a fun show tonight. 42 00:02:12,717 --> 00:02:14,810 Before I get started, you know what to do, 43 00:02:14,886 --> 00:02:16,911 say hello to my D.J., S.W. One. 44 00:02:16,988 --> 00:02:19,479 [Cheering, Applause] 45 00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:25,389 Yeah. And to the Fly Girls... 46 00:02:25,463 --> 00:02:28,660 startin'over here with Carrie Ann, Lisa, 47 00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:31,201 Cari, Michelle and Deidre. 48 00:02:31,269 --> 00:02:33,260 - Yeah. - [Applause, Cheering] 49 00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:37,670 I want you all to chill while we get ill. 50 00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:39,733 Mr. D.J., do your thing. Be right back. 51 00:02:41,779 --> 00:02:45,215 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 52 00:02:45,283 --> 00:02:47,274 ♪ In living color♪♪ 53 00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:51,882 ♪♪ [Hip Hop] 54 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:59,195 Yo, yo, yo! Welcome to the Homeboy No-Money-Down Seminar. 55 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:03,632 That's right. We gonna teach you how to get paid with absolutely no money down. 56 00:03:03,701 --> 00:03:06,795 That's right. I'm Willis, 'dis da Iceman. 57 00:03:06,871 --> 00:03:10,466 - Chillin'! - Yo, our secret to success... 58 00:03:10,541 --> 00:03:13,533 is right here in our new little booklet, 59 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:16,910 How To Make Mo'Money Without Using Yo'Money. 60 00:03:20,718 --> 00:03:24,085 Might well you ask, "Whose money should I use?" 61 00:03:24,155 --> 00:03:26,817 Who got more money then they know what to do with? 62 00:03:26,891 --> 00:03:31,157 - The Gub-ment. - That's right. 63 00:03:31,229 --> 00:03:33,390 And in part one of our booklet, 64 00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:36,490 we gonna show you how to use that money from the government. 65 00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:38,694 For example, did you know... 66 00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:42,261 that food stamps cannot be used to buy alcoholic beverages? 67 00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:47,334 Hmm. But how could I use that knowledge to work for me? 68 00:03:48,913 --> 00:03:50,847 I'm glad that you asked. 69 00:03:50,915 --> 00:03:53,509 Let's look at the chart. 70 00:03:53,584 --> 00:03:58,021 I go into a store and purchase a pack of beer for, let's say, $3.99. 71 00:03:58,089 --> 00:04:00,580 Or even less, depending on the security system. 72 00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:03,286 And I trade it to some unscrupulous individual, 73 00:04:03,361 --> 00:04:05,295 such as this man right here. 74 00:04:05,363 --> 00:04:08,127 For, let's say, $40-50 worth of food stamps. 75 00:04:08,199 --> 00:04:12,636 - Uh-huh. - Now, he's easy to find. He might even be in your family. 76 00:04:12,703 --> 00:04:16,070 And I take that money, and I find a little fat lady named LaQuita... 77 00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:18,131 with about 15 children, 78 00:04:18,209 --> 00:04:20,268 and I trade it to her for $25. 79 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,278 What does that equal? 80 00:04:28,219 --> 00:04:31,313 Yo, here goes one of our many success stories. 81 00:04:32,790 --> 00:04:35,816 Anton "Boom Boom"Geno. 82 00:04:35,893 --> 00:04:39,021 $45,000 in three weeks. 83 00:04:42,567 --> 00:04:46,162 Luther "Big Head"Jones. 84 00:04:46,237 --> 00:04:50,469 $ 123,000 in six months. 85 00:04:53,511 --> 00:04:56,810 Yo, our Mo' Money Seminar... 86 00:04:56,881 --> 00:05:01,284 will teach you how to get over like Rover the Casanova. 87 00:05:01,352 --> 00:05:03,377 That's right. And in part three, 88 00:05:03,454 --> 00:05:05,718 we gonna show you how to dress for success. 89 00:05:05,790 --> 00:05:07,724 Like, check out my man Willis here. 90 00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:09,953 I know you're saying he looks pretty fly like it is, 91 00:05:10,027 --> 00:05:12,518 but add this little accessory right here... 92 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:21,237 Now he's got a look most businessmen just can't seem to say "No" to. 93 00:05:22,373 --> 00:05:24,466 That's right. But wait. Hol-Hol-Hold on. 94 00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:26,976 - You say, "Yo, homeboy." - What? 95 00:05:27,044 --> 00:05:28,978 - "Yo, homeboy." - "What?" 96 00:05:29,046 --> 00:05:31,981 - You drive a big Mercedes. - Yes, I do. 97 00:05:32,049 --> 00:05:35,143 How can I drive a big, crazy Mercedes too? 98 00:05:35,219 --> 00:05:37,312 Well, that's easy. If you act now, 99 00:05:37,388 --> 00:05:41,654 we gonna send you our exclusive Mo' Money Valet Kit. 100 00:05:41,726 --> 00:05:44,320 You just find yourself a nice, fancy restaurant, 101 00:05:44,395 --> 00:05:48,331 stand in front, throw on this red jacket, 102 00:05:48,399 --> 00:05:50,492 hold up this here sign, 103 00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:53,002 and you'll be amazed at how many people just walk up... 104 00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:55,231 and give you a luxury car. 105 00:05:56,807 --> 00:06:01,506 Yo, some of them will even tip you before turning over the keys. 106 00:06:03,681 --> 00:06:06,115 - [Pounding] - [Man] FBI.! Open up in there.! 107 00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:08,947 Yo. You know what that means. We're moving locations. 108 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:13,684 That's right. Yo, people are just banging on the doors trying to get into on our seminars. 109 00:06:13,758 --> 00:06:17,387 So just send $50 to the Homeboys care of this station. 110 00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,429 - See you next time. - Peace. 111 00:06:19,497 --> 00:06:21,488 [Pounding Continues] 112 00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:31,270 ♪♪ [Woman Singing] 113 00:06:43,220 --> 00:06:47,088 Hello, and welcome to America's Funniest Security Camera Videos. 114 00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:49,991 [Laughs] I'm Bob Saget. 115 00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,995 I'd like to say hello to my daughter. 116 00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:54,657 She's at home right now, throwing up with the flu. 117 00:06:54,732 --> 00:06:56,666 [Laughs] And I hope they're taping it. 118 00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:59,032 [Laughing] Only kidding. 119 00:06:59,103 --> 00:07:01,594 I already have that on tape. 120 00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:03,902 Anyway, as you know we get videos... 121 00:07:03,974 --> 00:07:06,772 from security cameras installed all across the country. 122 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:11,781 Tonight we're gonna be taking a look at a video sent by Ali Bahad Camcar. 123 00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:14,784 Ali works at a Lucky 11 convenience store... 124 00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:17,787 and, boy, am I surprised. 125 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:20,187 [Laughing] 126 00:07:20,257 --> 00:07:22,851 Roll 'em. 127 00:07:22,927 --> 00:07:25,623 [Saget] Just a typical night in the Lucky 11. 128 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,291 Little kid's buying a slushy, a cashier short-changing him, 129 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:32,130 and plenty of surveillance to cover the event. 130 00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:35,798 [Laughing] Uh-Oh. Company. 131 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:38,603 Hey, man! Ghandi, give me the money! 132 00:07:38,676 --> 00:07:42,168 - I'm sorry. Business not too good today. - Oh, yeah? 133 00:07:42,246 --> 00:07:45,477 - How is it now? - [Saget] That had to hurt.! 134 00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:48,143 Give me... Give me a chance to get it. 135 00:07:48,219 --> 00:07:50,585 Open it, Roach Motel! 136 00:07:50,654 --> 00:07:53,418 - Take it. - Thanks a lot, Mahatma. 137 00:07:53,491 --> 00:07:56,221 - Ohhh! - [Saget Laughing] 138 00:07:56,293 --> 00:07:58,227 [Saget] Clean up on aisle five.! 139 00:08:00,231 --> 00:08:02,563 Merry Christmas, mother... [Beep Beep] 140 00:08:11,208 --> 00:08:14,769 [Saget Laughs] Wow. 141 00:08:14,845 --> 00:08:17,837 Good thing those paper towels are superabsorbent. 142 00:08:21,952 --> 00:08:24,512 - Coppers! Lady, come here! - [Saget] Uh-oh. 143 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:28,786 - Stay there. I'll kill her, man! - [Screaming] 144 00:08:28,859 --> 00:08:32,124 [Saget] She coulda been a hostage, but her heart wasn't in it. 145 00:08:32,196 --> 00:08:34,960 - [Saget Laughing] - [Speaks, Indistinct] 146 00:08:35,032 --> 00:08:38,627 [Saget] Some days, itjust doesn't pay to be a crook. 147 00:08:38,702 --> 00:08:40,693 [Saget Laughs] 148 00:08:42,039 --> 00:08:44,872 Ali, thanks for that hysterical videotape. 149 00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:48,207 You're a very brave man and here's looking through you. 150 00:08:48,279 --> 00:08:50,213 [Laughing] 151 00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:52,977 Stop me or I'll joke again! [Chuckles] 152 00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:56,645 See you all next week on America's Funniest Security Camera Videos. 153 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,415 [Laughing] 154 00:08:58,489 --> 00:09:01,583 ♪♪ [Woman Singing] 155 00:09:07,045 --> 00:09:10,913 Ladies and gentlemen, the most controversial female comedian: 156 00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:13,042 Andrea Dice Clay.! 157 00:09:13,118 --> 00:09:15,086 [Cheering, Applause] 158 00:09:15,153 --> 00:09:18,145 [Audience Whooping] 159 00:09:22,928 --> 00:09:24,862 [Applause Dies Out] 160 00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:27,057 [Spits] 161 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:37,004 Yeah. You think that's easy to do when you're stacked like this? 162 00:09:39,077 --> 00:09:41,341 How the [Beep] are you doing? 163 00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:47,683 How do you like my jacket, huh? 164 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:50,847 [Audience Members Howling] 165 00:09:50,922 --> 00:09:55,916 It's the story of my life. I got more studs than I know what to do to with. 166 00:09:58,096 --> 00:10:01,031 I'm telling you. Guys can't get enough of me. 167 00:10:01,099 --> 00:10:05,433 They're always saying, "Oh, baby. Oh, baby. 168 00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:08,962 I love you. I need you." 169 00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:12,535 Bulls... [Beep]. 170 00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:15,876 Just gimme the goods and get outta here! 171 00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:18,108 I'm through with you! 172 00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:27,321 I was doing this guy in my dressing room... 173 00:10:27,392 --> 00:10:30,054 before I came out here tonight. 174 00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:36,298 He says to me, "You hurt my feelings." 175 00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:42,140 Well, excuse the [Beep] outta me. 176 00:10:42,207 --> 00:10:44,573 All I says was, 177 00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:47,476 "Is that all there is, huh?" 178 00:10:49,214 --> 00:10:51,580 These [Beep Beep] guys think they're built... 179 00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:54,084 like [Beep]-damned Adonis. 180 00:10:54,152 --> 00:10:56,245 You know what I mean? 181 00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,587 Like this [Beep Beep] the other night. 182 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,058 He says to me... 183 00:11:04,129 --> 00:11:07,030 [Chuckles] 184 00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:09,533 He says to me, 185 00:11:09,601 --> 00:11:13,162 "Let me know if I hurt you." 186 00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:17,371 If you hurt me? 187 00:11:17,442 --> 00:11:21,037 I says, " The last time I saw something that looked like that, 188 00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:24,674 it had an eraser on the end of it." 189 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,718 [Man] Andrea Dice Clay... 190 00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:29,379 at the Desert Inn now through July 15th. 191 00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:32,548 If she doesn't cut 'em off, you'll laugh 'em off. 192 00:11:32,624 --> 00:11:34,990 Yeah. 193 00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:37,153 Eat [Beep Beep] 194 00:11:39,264 --> 00:11:42,256 [Cheering, Applause] 195 00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:47,901 ♪♪ [Hip-Hop] 196 00:12:03,555 --> 00:12:05,489 ♪♪ [Rapping] 197 00:12:22,474 --> 00:12:26,035 - Hey, mon! - ♪♪ [Caribbean Steel Drums] 198 00:12:26,111 --> 00:12:28,636 [Announcer] It's time for another episode of Hey Mon, 199 00:12:28,713 --> 00:12:31,944 with that hardest-working West Indian family, the Headleys.! 200 00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:34,417 [Caribbean Accent] This is your Captain speaking. 201 00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:37,717 I'm also your baggage handler, ticket agent, head steward, 202 00:12:37,789 --> 00:12:40,883 navigator, towel boy, in-flight chiropractor... 203 00:12:40,959 --> 00:12:43,052 and me own copilot to boot. 204 00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:45,323 Welcome to Headley Airlines. 205 00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:48,059 I and my family are working ourJamaican butts off... 206 00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:50,465 to make your flight a pleasant one. 207 00:12:50,535 --> 00:12:53,470 Say hello to your stewardess, cook, restroom attendant, 208 00:12:53,538 --> 00:12:56,803 rent-a-car agent, air-traffic controller and engine mechanic... 209 00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:59,469 on the left aisle, my lovely daughter Margaret. 210 00:12:59,544 --> 00:13:02,911 Hey, mon! Cap'n says to shove yourselves down. 211 00:13:02,981 --> 00:13:04,915 All right. Irie! 212 00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:08,680 And the rude boy serving the drinks is my lazy son, Byron. 213 00:13:08,753 --> 00:13:12,348 Come here, boy. What is this uniform? 214 00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:14,358 Where's your tan shirt and tie? 215 00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:17,691 Pop, you know me no wear no Yankee-style uniform. 216 00:13:17,762 --> 00:13:20,356 - Plus, this uniform give me authority. - Authority? 217 00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:22,491 Authority. 218 00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:25,434 Authority? You look like Isaac from the Love Boat. 219 00:13:27,839 --> 00:13:31,172 And we all know he hasn't had a job in a long time. 220 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:35,703 Put a drink up there and steer the plane while I take care of the passengers. 221 00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:38,874 - [Mutters] - You lazy coconut blood clot. 222 00:13:38,950 --> 00:13:41,043 Get out of my sight. 223 00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:45,753 Hi, there. How you doing there, tiger? 224 00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:48,418 - What a cute little fella you got there. - Thank you. 225 00:13:48,493 --> 00:13:50,518 - How old is he? - He's four. 226 00:13:50,595 --> 00:13:53,393 - Four years old, huh? - Hey, hey. Look at that. 227 00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:55,456 Yeah. What does he do? 228 00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:58,559 - What does he do? - For a living, his job. What's his job? 229 00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:01,765 He's a four-year-old little boy. He doesn't have a job. 230 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,001 Four years old and doesn't have a job? 231 00:14:04,075 --> 00:14:07,010 Why, when I was your age, I had a paper route, a Kool-Aid stand, 232 00:14:07,078 --> 00:14:09,103 I mowed the lawn, I was a delivery boy, 233 00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,171 a baby-sitter, I worked in a coal mine, 234 00:14:11,249 --> 00:14:14,514 while I was simultaneously in the first, second, third and fourth grades. 235 00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:17,180 You better get a job before it's too late, boy. 236 00:14:17,255 --> 00:14:19,689 Gimme back my hat, ya lazy lima bean. 237 00:14:23,628 --> 00:14:26,222 Excuse me. There's a woman out on the wing of the plane. 238 00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:30,394 Don't get excited. It's just my wife Hilda doing the laundry for her day job. 239 00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:35,197 Hey, mon! Oh, God, I love the wind out there. 240 00:14:35,273 --> 00:14:37,241 It dries my laundry in one-third the time. 241 00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:39,368 Yes, it does now. 242 00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:41,503 Godfreid, look it here. What is this? 243 00:14:41,579 --> 00:14:44,377 I'm out there three minutes and lazy Margaret's sitting down on the job. 244 00:14:44,449 --> 00:14:47,714 [Huffs] Look, Mama, leave me alone. I've done all my chores. 245 00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:51,722 Besides, I talkin' to this real cute fella sitting next to me and all. 246 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:54,384 - What does he do now? - Well, him from Trinidad. 247 00:14:54,459 --> 00:14:58,054 Him have 15 job and I think I love he. 248 00:14:58,129 --> 00:15:00,791 - Stop your tongue-waggin', girl. Get acquainted! - Okay, Mom. 249 00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:06,669 Uh, excuse me, Captain, 250 00:15:06,738 --> 00:15:09,673 is it necessary for this woman to iron her clothes right here? 251 00:15:09,741 --> 00:15:13,700 - I'm trying to relax. - Relax? Aren't you on a business trip? 252 00:15:13,778 --> 00:15:16,508 - Well, I'm on a vacation. - Vacation from how many jobs? 253 00:15:16,581 --> 00:15:19,414 - One. - One job? 254 00:15:20,852 --> 00:15:24,083 You lazy goat. You have some big, great, big hairy nerve... 255 00:15:24,155 --> 00:15:26,487 sittin' up here in the business class for hard-working people. 256 00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,492 He should be back there in the lazy class. 257 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,790 Now, but I purchased a business class ticket. 258 00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:34,696 Well, I'm gonna tell ya somethin'. Your ill-gotten lazy money is no good here. 259 00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:37,360 This class is for hard-workin' business people. Get out! 260 00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:39,369 Security! 261 00:15:39,437 --> 00:15:41,530 Security here. 262 00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:44,302 - Get him outta my sight, mon! - Get up. You're under lazy arrest. 263 00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:47,368 - Get in the back, ya lazy goat! - Lazy mon! Go! Go! Lazy mon! 264 00:15:47,445 --> 00:15:49,504 - Get outta here. - That's right. 265 00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:53,540 Pop, Pop! We have to land the plane, but the landing gear is broken. 266 00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:56,610 Ohh. Well, we got to land the plane anyway. 267 00:15:56,688 --> 00:15:58,713 - Crew, prepare for manual landing. - All right, Dad. 268 00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:01,156 - Nothing else to do, no? - That's right. 269 00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:04,218 Okay, Margaret, you get under the nose. 270 00:16:05,730 --> 00:16:08,665 - You and I will get under the wings. - Okay, Daddy. 271 00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:15,802 - Hey, mon! - [Headleys, Simultaneously] Got to land the plane! 272 00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:18,172 ♪♪ [Caribbean Steel Drums] 273 00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:21,679 [Announcer]Join us again for Hey Mon with the Headleys. 274 00:16:23,848 --> 00:16:25,839 ♪♪ [Rapping] 275 00:16:40,965 --> 00:16:44,958 ♪♪ [Continues] 276 00:16:57,515 --> 00:17:00,040 - [Giggling] - Oh! Children! 277 00:17:00,118 --> 00:17:03,110 - Children, are you having a good time? - [Toot] 278 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,213 - Yes! - Yeah! 279 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:07,224 Happy birthday, shnooky-ookums. 280 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,920 - [Horns Blow] - I have a surprise for you! 281 00:17:09,994 --> 00:17:12,929 - [Cheering] - Homey the Clown! 282 00:17:12,997 --> 00:17:15,932 - [Cheering Continues] - I told you the clown! I told you! 283 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,993 [Children] ♪ Homey the Clown Homey the Clown ♪ 284 00:17:20,071 --> 00:17:22,005 - Yay! - Homey! Homey! Homey! 285 00:17:22,073 --> 00:17:24,940 - Sit down! - Homey! Homey! Homey! Homey! 286 00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:27,000 Homey! Homey! Hom... 287 00:17:33,084 --> 00:17:35,052 I said sit down. 288 00:17:36,754 --> 00:17:40,349 All right, kids. I'm Homey the Clown. 289 00:17:40,425 --> 00:17:43,861 - Y'all ready to have some fun? - [Children] Yeah! 290 00:17:43,928 --> 00:17:46,362 - What y'all want me to do first? - Ooh ooh! 291 00:17:46,431 --> 00:17:50,265 - Homey, Homey, Homey! Do a silly clown dance for us. - What? 292 00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:53,771 - [Children Cheer, Applaud] - Yeah. Degrade myself, huh? 293 00:17:55,106 --> 00:17:58,234 I don't think so. 294 00:17:58,309 --> 00:18:01,039 Homey don't play that. 295 00:18:01,112 --> 00:18:03,580 - What else? What else? - Ooh ooh ooh.! 296 00:18:03,648 --> 00:18:08,642 You could... Oh! You could slip on a banana peel and fall on your butt! 297 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,484 [Children Laughing] 298 00:18:14,058 --> 00:18:16,151 Oh, yeah, fall down and bust my skull open... 299 00:18:16,227 --> 00:18:18,661 and have my blood and brains ooze out on the carpet... 300 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:20,994 so you can get a couple of cheap laughs, huh? 301 00:18:21,065 --> 00:18:23,590 I don't think so. 302 00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:25,727 Homey don't play that. 303 00:18:28,239 --> 00:18:30,901 - What else? - Oh.! Ooh.! Me.! 304 00:18:30,975 --> 00:18:34,968 Hey! Hey! Can we smash a cream pie in your face... 305 00:18:35,046 --> 00:18:37,981 like they be doing to clowns and stuff? 306 00:18:38,049 --> 00:18:40,517 - Yeah! - I think you got it backwards, son. 307 00:18:45,456 --> 00:18:48,254 Now, how do you feel about yourself? 308 00:18:48,326 --> 00:18:50,760 Mm. Totally dissed, Homey. 309 00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:55,763 That's why Homey don't play that. 310 00:18:58,336 --> 00:19:00,270 All right. How about a magic trick? 311 00:19:00,338 --> 00:19:02,272 - Yay! - Yeah! 312 00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:04,604 - Who got a dollar? - I do, Homey! 313 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,441 Here you go, Homey. 314 00:19:08,513 --> 00:19:11,448 - All right. I'll fold it once. - Ooh.! 315 00:19:11,516 --> 00:19:13,984 - Twice. - Whoa. Ahhh. 316 00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:17,180 Now it's gone. Ta-da! 317 00:19:17,255 --> 00:19:19,246 [Horn Honking] 318 00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:22,225 Let's get something straight, kids. 319 00:19:22,293 --> 00:19:25,660 Homey may be a clown, but he don't make a fool outta hisself. 320 00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:29,496 Yeah? Why... Uh, why you become a clown then? 321 00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:34,504 I guess it's because I got so much love to give... 322 00:19:34,572 --> 00:19:38,008 and it's part of my prison work-release program, 323 00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:41,273 so I got about five more year of this clown crap. 324 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,179 Cartoon time! 325 00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:49,550 - [Children Cheering] - [Blow Horns] 326 00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:53,022 Y'all pay special attention, 'cause this one has a certain message to it. 327 00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:55,025 Ooh.! 328 00:19:55,093 --> 00:20:00,531 Once upon a time, Homey the Clown went to a fancy white restaurant. 329 00:20:00,598 --> 00:20:03,499 "Chez Whitey" was the name. 330 00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:08,437 As always, Homey gets a-hassled by the man. 331 00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:12,876 He tells him that a tie is required... 332 00:20:12,944 --> 00:20:16,436 in order to eat in this establishment. 333 00:20:16,514 --> 00:20:22,146 So Homey says, " Man, get them damn ties outta my face 'fore I kick your ass!" 334 00:20:26,057 --> 00:20:31,962 But unfortunately, Monsieur Snowflake didn't quite hear Homey correctly. 335 00:20:32,964 --> 00:20:34,955 So Homey had no choice... 336 00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:37,058 but to keep his word. 337 00:20:39,203 --> 00:20:41,671 - [Honking] - The end. 338 00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:46,869 So what have we learned if nothing else, childrens? 339 00:20:46,944 --> 00:20:49,811 [Children, Simultaneously] Homey don't play that! 340 00:20:54,552 --> 00:20:57,783 That's right. Now, let's sing the Homey the Clown Song. 341 00:20:57,855 --> 00:21:01,518 - [Children Cheering] - Repeat after me. 342 00:21:01,559 --> 00:21:04,551 - ♪ Homey the Clown ♪ - [Children] ♪ Homey the Clown ♪ 343 00:21:04,629 --> 00:21:07,723 - ♪ Don't mess around ♪ - ♪ Don't mess around ♪ 344 00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:10,597 - ♪ Even though the man ♪ - ♪ Even though the man ♪ 345 00:21:10,668 --> 00:21:13,569 - ♪ Try to keep him down ♪ - ♪ Try to keep him down ♪ 346 00:21:13,638 --> 00:21:16,664 ♪ One day Homey will break all the chains ♪ 347 00:21:16,741 --> 00:21:19,369 ♪ Then he'll fly away but until that day ♪ 348 00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:21,378 ♪ Homey don't play ♪ 349 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:25,974 - I said repeat after me! - [Repeating Out Of Synch] 350 00:21:26,050 --> 00:21:29,679 [Repeating Out Of Synch] 351 00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:31,712 Very good. 352 00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:34,988 See. You... 353 00:21:35,059 --> 00:21:37,459 Y'all made Homey smile after all. 354 00:21:39,630 --> 00:21:41,598 - Happy Birthday, kid. - [Honking] 355 00:21:43,301 --> 00:21:45,565 - Bye. - Bye. 356 00:21:45,636 --> 00:21:47,627 Homey! Homey! 357 00:21:47,705 --> 00:21:50,139 [Applause, Cheering] 358 00:21:51,309 --> 00:21:53,243 All right. 359 00:21:53,311 --> 00:21:58,578 Before we go, we wanna introduce you to the lady behind the steps on the show... 360 00:21:58,649 --> 00:22:01,083 and her assistant right here... that's Rosie Perez. 361 00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:03,017 [Whooping, Applause] 362 00:22:03,087 --> 00:22:05,021 On the right here. 363 00:22:08,092 --> 00:22:11,186 Uh, what can I say? We had fun doing it once again. 364 00:22:11,262 --> 00:22:14,026 - If you're there next week, we'll be there too, so until then... - Peace! 365 00:22:14,098 --> 00:22:16,089 Peace. 366 00:22:59,143 --> 00:23:01,873 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 367 00:23:01,946 --> 00:23:03,937 ♪ In living color♪♪ 30623

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