Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,253 --> 00:00:05,916
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
2
00:00:05,990 --> 00:00:09,187
♪ In living color♪
3
00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:11,820
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪
4
00:00:11,896 --> 00:00:14,490
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
5
00:00:14,565 --> 00:00:16,556
♪ In living color♪
6
00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:21,329
♪ In living color♪
7
00:00:21,406 --> 00:00:23,636
♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
8
00:00:23,708 --> 00:00:26,108
♪ It's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
9
00:00:26,177 --> 00:00:28,168
♪ Take it from meIt's a'ight to be ♪
10
00:00:28,246 --> 00:00:30,214
♪ In living color♪
11
00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:32,909
♪ How would you feel knowingprejudice was obsolete ♪
12
00:00:32,984 --> 00:00:35,214
♪ And all mankind dancedto the exact beat ♪
13
00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:37,379
♪ And at night it was safeto walk down the street ♪
14
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:41,448
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
15
00:00:41,526 --> 00:00:44,154
♪ In living color♪
16
00:00:44,228 --> 00:00:45,661
♪ In living color♪
17
00:00:45,730 --> 00:00:49,166
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
18
00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:51,497
♪ In living color♪
19
00:00:51,569 --> 00:00:54,037
♪ In living color♪
20
00:00:54,105 --> 00:00:56,505
♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪
21
00:00:56,574 --> 00:00:58,804
♪ In living color♪
22
00:00:58,876 --> 00:01:01,504
♪ What's mine is yoursand what's yours is mine ♪
23
00:01:01,579 --> 00:01:03,012
♪ In living color♪
24
00:01:03,081 --> 00:01:05,049
♪ How would you feel knowingeverybody was your friend ♪
25
00:01:05,116 --> 00:01:07,676
♪ From thin to thickand through thick and thin ♪
26
00:01:07,752 --> 00:01:09,947
♪ And egotistical tripswas put to an end ♪
27
00:01:10,021 --> 00:01:13,821
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
28
00:01:13,891 --> 00:01:16,587
♪ In living color♪
29
00:01:16,661 --> 00:01:18,595
♪ In living color♪
30
00:01:18,663 --> 00:01:20,654
♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
31
00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:22,632
♪ It's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
32
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:25,100
♪ Take it from meIt's a'ight to be ♪
33
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,796
♪ In living color♪
34
00:01:26,871 --> 00:01:29,362
♪ How would you feel knowingprejudice was obsolete ♪
35
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,374
♪ And all mankind dancedto the exact beat ♪
36
00:01:31,442 --> 00:01:34,570
♪ And at night it was safeto walk down the street ♪
37
00:01:34,645 --> 00:01:38,547
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
38
00:01:38,616 --> 00:01:40,982
♪ In living color♪♪
39
00:01:41,052 --> 00:01:43,179
[Applause, Cheering]
40
00:01:43,254 --> 00:01:48,749
Ladies and gentlemen, Keenen,
uh, Ebony, uh, Townsend.
41
00:01:50,294 --> 00:01:53,320
[Cheering, Applause]
42
00:01:58,302 --> 00:02:00,327
Uh, who the hell
are you, man?
43
00:02:00,405 --> 00:02:02,339
Who's askin'?
44
00:02:04,175 --> 00:02:06,109
Thanks for standing in
for me, Daddy.
45
00:02:06,177 --> 00:02:08,236
You got it, baby.
Don't shake it too hard.
46
00:02:08,312 --> 00:02:10,507
I'll see you later, Keenen.
47
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,883
How about a hand
for my Fly Guy.
48
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:27,030
All right. Hello. Thank you.
Welcome to the party.
49
00:02:27,098 --> 00:02:29,293
I'm Keenen Ivory Wayans.
This is In Living Color.
50
00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:33,428
- Good to have y'all here tonight. Yeah.
- [Applause]
51
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:39,038
We got a fun show lined up as usual,
so sit back, relax.
52
00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:42,238
Before I get started, say hello
to my D. J... S.W. One.
53
00:02:42,313 --> 00:02:45,771
[Cheering, Applause]
54
00:02:48,019 --> 00:02:50,510
You all need to stop that,
'cause I gotta take him home later...
55
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:53,113
and he's gonna be souped up
and just not good.
56
00:02:53,191 --> 00:02:56,490
Say hello to the Fly Girls,
starting over here with Dee...
57
00:02:56,561 --> 00:03:00,588
Carrie Ann, Lisa,Michelle and Cari.
58
00:03:01,566 --> 00:03:03,500
Yeah.
59
00:03:03,568 --> 00:03:07,629
We'll be back in a few.
Yo, big head, kick it.
60
00:03:09,373 --> 00:03:12,365
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
61
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:16,641
- ♪ In living color ♪
- ♪ In living color ♪♪
62
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,814
[Man] Ladies and gentlemen,the president of the United States...
63
00:03:23,888 --> 00:03:25,879
JesseJackson.
64
00:03:33,264 --> 00:03:36,427
Good evenin' and thank ya...
65
00:03:36,501 --> 00:03:39,197
ladies and gentlemen
of the press...
66
00:03:39,270 --> 00:03:43,036
my fellow Americans,
brothers and sisters.
67
00:03:43,107 --> 00:03:48,204
Welcome to the last
press conference of my presidency.
68
00:03:48,279 --> 00:03:51,146
Now, few people thought
eight years ago...
69
00:03:51,215 --> 00:03:54,184
that a poor boy
from the Carolinas...
70
00:03:54,252 --> 00:03:57,551
could go from the outhouse
to the White House.
71
00:03:58,923 --> 00:04:03,087
From eatin' in cheap joints
to talkin' toJoint Chiefs.
72
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:07,824
From nibblin' on jalapeños,
to meetin' with the Filipinos.
73
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,833
Yeah.
74
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:13,234
Hip-hop, you don't stop rockin'
to the bang, bang, boogie, the beat.
75
00:04:15,706 --> 00:04:17,765
Now...
76
00:04:17,842 --> 00:04:21,642
I know that you all have deadlines,
so I won't keep you.
77
00:04:21,712 --> 00:04:23,737
I'll open the floor to questions.
78
00:04:23,814 --> 00:04:25,907
[Reporters]
Mr. President!
79
00:04:25,983 --> 00:04:30,181
As the first Black president,
did you ever fear an attempt on your life?
80
00:04:30,254 --> 00:04:35,157
Well, my administration
did fear assassination...
81
00:04:35,226 --> 00:04:38,195
either by strangulation,
decapitation...
82
00:04:38,262 --> 00:04:41,425
or drivin' through the South
without identification.
83
00:04:44,769 --> 00:04:50,036
So, I took several precautions
to ensure my safety.
84
00:04:50,107 --> 00:04:55,306
One was to increase the size
of the security.
85
00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:59,247
And I thank Eddie Murphy
for loaning me Big Fruity and Ray.
86
00:05:01,452 --> 00:05:05,286
I also, as all of
my predecessors have...
87
00:05:05,356 --> 00:05:08,189
kept Dan Quayle
as a vice president.
88
00:05:08,259 --> 00:05:11,023
- Next.
- Uh, Mr. President, what would you say...
89
00:05:11,095 --> 00:05:13,620
were the most important accomplishments
of your eight years in office?
90
00:05:13,698 --> 00:05:16,394
Well, my administration...
91
00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:19,903
was responsible
for much, much legislation...
92
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:22,496
though it took
a lot of perspiration.
93
00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:25,303
But the one act
that I feel most proud of...
94
00:05:25,376 --> 00:05:27,844
is theJackson Limitation Act.
95
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:30,779
As all of you know, that is the bill
that bans all performances...
96
00:05:30,848 --> 00:05:34,147
by LaToya or TitoJackson.
97
00:05:36,454 --> 00:05:38,615
Mr. President.
98
00:05:38,689 --> 00:05:41,920
- Brother President.
- Yes, call meJesse.
99
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:46,896
Do you feel that you have kept all of
your promises to the American people?
100
00:05:46,964 --> 00:05:49,797
Well, I most certainly
have tried...
101
00:05:49,867 --> 00:05:52,836
and do feel that I have...
102
00:05:52,903 --> 00:05:56,566
kept the most important promise
to the American people...
103
00:05:56,641 --> 00:05:59,405
which is to keep hope alive.
104
00:05:59,477 --> 00:06:01,911
Would you elaborate
on that, please?
105
00:06:01,979 --> 00:06:05,915
Yes, I can.
May I have your attention, please?
106
00:06:05,983 --> 00:06:07,951
- As you can see...
- [Reporters] Ahh!
107
00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:10,510
Bob Hope has been frozen solid.
108
00:06:12,223 --> 00:06:14,748
And our scientists believethat he can be kept alive...
109
00:06:14,825 --> 00:06:18,226
for at least another 100 years.
110
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,560
That is all the time I have,
so I ask that you will, please...
111
00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:27,195
one last time, join hands with me
and say, "Keep Hope alive."
112
00:06:27,271 --> 00:06:30,434
[All Chanting]
Keep Hope alive! Keep Hope alive!
113
00:06:37,081 --> 00:06:40,050
[Man] They sing with more scatsthan Ella, more rips than Luther.
114
00:06:40,117 --> 00:06:44,713
These R&B sensations throw in more vocalgimmicks than any other singers in history.
115
00:06:44,789 --> 00:06:49,920
They're the king and queen of Max Stop Music...Cephus and Reesie Mayweather.
116
00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:55,591
- ♪♪ [Singing]
- She said mulberry.
117
00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:58,066
- ♪♪ [Singing]
- Look out, monkey.
118
00:06:58,135 --> 00:07:00,467
♪♪ [Singing]
119
00:07:00,538 --> 00:07:03,029
- That's a little bitty weasel.
- ♪♪ [Singing]
120
00:07:03,107 --> 00:07:05,041
And what they done did?
121
00:07:07,211 --> 00:07:09,702
What they say?
Here we go!
122
00:07:12,016 --> 00:07:16,009
♪♪ [Singing]
123
00:07:19,190 --> 00:07:21,317
♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct]
124
00:07:21,392 --> 00:07:24,190
[Man] They performed beforethe crowned heads of Nebraska...
125
00:07:24,261 --> 00:07:28,322
and now they will sing for youon this new K-Pell album "We Tight."
126
00:07:28,399 --> 00:07:33,200
The Mayweathers can take any songand give it that special touch.
127
00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:35,704
Look up in the sky-ra, baby.
128
00:07:35,773 --> 00:07:37,764
Ain't that a star-a?
129
00:07:37,842 --> 00:07:40,367
- This for you.
- Oh, no!
130
00:07:40,444 --> 00:07:44,574
♪♪ [Singing]
131
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:52,151
- ♪♪ [Singing]
- What you wonder?
132
00:07:52,223 --> 00:07:54,589
♪♪ [Singing]
133
00:07:54,658 --> 00:07:57,752
♪ I've been hangin' around
waitin' on my baby ♪♪
134
00:07:57,828 --> 00:08:01,355
[Man] You'll also get allof Cephus and Reesie's greatest hit...
135
00:08:01,432 --> 00:08:05,061
the number-one song in the tristate areafor almost a week and a half...
136
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,070
"We Tight."
137
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:10,869
♪ Yeah, we tight
Tight as 10 toes in a sock ♪
138
00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:14,308
♪ We tight
Tight as West Coast mountain high ♪
139
00:08:14,378 --> 00:08:15,845
- Robot!
- If you act now...
140
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,847
you'll also receive this special bonus...
141
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:20,850
your very own10-carat gold-plated tooth cap...
142
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:23,443
just like the oneCephus and Reesie wear.
143
00:08:23,521 --> 00:08:26,820
Just send $ 11 in cash to:
144
00:08:31,061 --> 00:08:33,529
And get all of the Cephusand Reesie you can stand.
145
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:36,498
[Together]
♪ We tight ♪♪
146
00:08:37,868 --> 00:08:45,274
♪♪ [Fanfare]
147
00:08:45,342 --> 00:08:47,310
Welcome back.
I'm Alan Thicke...
148
00:08:47,378 --> 00:08:49,812
sittin' in forJohnny Carson.
149
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,542
Because everyone knows at this point
another Carson impression...
150
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:55,016
would be totally passé.
151
00:08:55,085 --> 00:08:59,920
Ed won't be here tonight either. He woke up
with the head of a Clydesdale in his bed.
152
00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:03,050
I guess when you're in between marriages,
you'll bring home anything.
153
00:09:03,127 --> 00:09:05,061
[Rim Shot]
154
00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:07,723
[Laughs]
All right.
155
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:12,633
Our next guest is Joan Embry from
the San Diego Anthropological Institute.
156
00:09:12,703 --> 00:09:14,933
As you know, Joan is always
bringing with her...
157
00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:17,906
strange and exotic inhabitants
of the planet.
158
00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:20,944
And tonight she's bringing us
an endangered species.
159
00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:24,174
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcomeJoan Embry.
160
00:09:24,248 --> 00:09:27,684
[Applause, Cheering]
161
00:09:30,888 --> 00:09:33,755
- Hi, Joan.
- Hi, Alan.
162
00:09:35,392 --> 00:09:37,724
- He's beautiful.
- Yes, he is.
163
00:09:37,795 --> 00:09:41,492
This is Calvin.
He's a Homeboy-sapien africanus...
164
00:09:41,565 --> 00:09:44,762
or "B-Boy" as they're known
in the neighborhood.
165
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:47,360
Is he able to walk?
166
00:09:47,438 --> 00:09:49,372
Oh, yes, he walks, but, you see,
these are new sneakers...
167
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,204
and they don't like to
crease them.
168
00:09:52,276 --> 00:09:54,403
I see. And what is
he doing now?
169
00:09:54,478 --> 00:09:57,072
This is what they call
"chillin'," Alan.
170
00:09:59,817 --> 00:10:02,411
Well, it is kind of cold
in the studio today.
171
00:10:02,486 --> 00:10:05,182
Oh, no, no, not that kind of chillin'.
He's just relaxing...
172
00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:07,918
- and getting used to his environment.
- I see.
173
00:10:07,992 --> 00:10:11,120
Yo, just 'cause you're livin' large
with crazy bank and stupid wheels...
174
00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:14,323
and I'm butt naked, don't give you the right
to dis, know what I'm sayin'?
175
00:10:17,468 --> 00:10:19,299
Por quoi?
176
00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:23,204
Well, uh, theirs is a rapidly
changing language, Alan.
177
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,606
There's new terminology
almost daily.
178
00:10:25,676 --> 00:10:28,702
But as of last Friday,
what he said to you was...
179
00:10:28,779 --> 00:10:32,715
"Just because you're rich and he's poor,
doesn't give you the right to disrespect him."
180
00:10:32,783 --> 00:10:35,980
- Oh, boy.
- I wouldn't say that around him, Alan.
181
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:39,022
It tends to, um,
it tends to agitate him.
182
00:10:39,089 --> 00:10:42,616
Yo, yo, yo, Calvin, man, cool out.
The dude's just buggin'.
183
00:10:51,135 --> 00:10:52,762
Is he dangerous?
184
00:10:52,836 --> 00:10:55,498
Well, Alan, like any
of God's creations...
185
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:59,338
without love, a proper diet, a decent education
and equal opportunities...
186
00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:01,344
he could be
extremely dangerous.
187
00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:04,404
All these lights and cameras
don't help either.
188
00:11:04,481 --> 00:11:06,472
He's got a gun.!
189
00:11:07,551 --> 00:11:09,917
No, no, Alan, it's just candy.
190
00:11:09,987 --> 00:11:12,615
- [Calvin] Yo, chill out.
- Candy?
191
00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:14,624
It's an appleJolly Rancher.
192
00:11:14,692 --> 00:11:19,857
Yeah. It seems to be the foundation
of the homeboy's diet.
193
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:24,424
Why they prefer apple as opposed
to grape, we're really not quite sure.
194
00:11:24,501 --> 00:11:26,799
Well, what other kind
of things can he do?
195
00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:29,270
Well, he can do anything
anybody else can do.
196
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:33,276
Oh, yeah?
Well, can he host a talk show?
197
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,471
I'm sure he could, yes.
198
00:11:35,546 --> 00:11:38,879
Yo, that ain't nothin', man.
Yo, check this out, man.
199
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,974
Is this thing on?
Yo, what's up? What's up?
200
00:11:41,051 --> 00:11:42,985
[Audience Replies, Indistinct]
201
00:11:43,053 --> 00:11:46,284
♪ You got the "C," the "A," the "L"
the "V," the "I," the "N" ♪
202
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:49,758
♪ Comin' to you my friend, we go... ♪
♪♪ [Rhythmic Spitting]
203
00:11:53,163 --> 00:11:55,495
♪ When I take to the streets
and I start to chill ♪
204
00:11:55,566 --> 00:11:57,966
♪ Are people lookin' at me
like looks could kill ♪
205
00:11:58,035 --> 00:12:00,367
♪ Now I wasn't born
with a silver spoon ♪
206
00:12:00,437 --> 00:12:02,837
♪ I'm from the hard-core streets
and that's the name of the tune ♪
207
00:12:02,906 --> 00:12:05,272
♪ I'm not some crazy freakfrom the city zoo ♪
208
00:12:05,342 --> 00:12:08,140
♪ I'm just a down-to-earth brother
that's a lot like you ♪♪
209
00:12:08,212 --> 00:12:11,841
- Peace.
- [Applause, Cheering]
210
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:17,184
We'll be back,
but we'll never be the same.
211
00:12:27,129 --> 00:12:30,428
Tita! Cha-cha! Concha!
¿Qué hace?
212
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,433
Look at all the hair
on the floor.
213
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,867
It looks like the bathtub
after you shave your legs.
214
00:12:34,937 --> 00:12:38,771
Or after you shave
your shoulders, huh, Hector?
215
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,468
Sweep the floor, Concha!
216
00:12:44,046 --> 00:12:46,071
Hey, mira.
What's the matter with him?
217
00:12:46,148 --> 00:12:48,207
Cha-cha, let me tell you, baby.
It's a big situation.
218
00:12:48,283 --> 00:12:50,217
What happened?
219
00:12:50,285 --> 00:12:52,753
Yesterday, she caught Hector
in the bathroom with another woman.
220
00:12:52,821 --> 00:12:56,985
No, ay, mi hija. I bet she almost had
a cardiac arrest. You sure that happened?
221
00:12:57,059 --> 00:12:58,993
I know what happened.
Let me tell you.
222
00:12:59,061 --> 00:13:01,621
Last night, I stayed over at Daisy's house,
and Concha told Marissa...
223
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,962
and Marissa told Lucy and Lucy
told Pablo and Pablo told Pepe...
224
00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:07,558
and Pepe told Cuca and Cuca told
Crazy Legs and Crazy Legs told Mad Dog...
225
00:13:07,636 --> 00:13:10,104
and Mad Dog told Lefty and Lefty
told Shorty and Shorty told Pepe...
226
00:13:10,172 --> 00:13:14,734
and Pepe told Sol and Sol told me, baby,
so you know it's a fact.
227
00:13:14,810 --> 00:13:17,142
I know. I know it's a fact.
228
00:13:18,947 --> 00:13:21,711
Concha, I told you
to sweep the floor.
229
00:13:21,783 --> 00:13:26,686
Why don't you ask the pendeja
I caught you with to sweep the floor, huh?
230
00:13:26,755 --> 00:13:30,020
Concha, my little Ponce de León,
it was nothing.
231
00:13:30,092 --> 00:13:33,255
L... Ay!
Mira, condenada, you bit my lip!
232
00:13:33,328 --> 00:13:35,262
- ¡Ven acá.!- Ay.!
233
00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:37,457
[Arguing In Spanish]
234
00:13:37,532 --> 00:13:40,023
There's a customer, estúpido.!
235
00:13:40,102 --> 00:13:43,401
Hola. I am Senor Hector...
236
00:13:43,472 --> 00:13:46,600
proprietor of Casa de Hair.
237
00:13:48,644 --> 00:13:52,102
Hi. I'm visitin'
from out of town.
238
00:13:52,180 --> 00:13:54,978
And the concierge at the hotel directed me
to the Vidal Sassoon next door...
239
00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:56,984
but they have apparently
burnt down.
240
00:13:57,052 --> 00:13:58,917
[Together]
Mm-hmm.
241
00:14:00,455 --> 00:14:03,253
Tita, check the appointment book,
por favor.
242
00:14:03,325 --> 00:14:05,885
- You don't have no appointment book.
- ¡A yúdame.!
243
00:14:06,962 --> 00:14:08,896
Pronto.
244
00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:12,365
Oh, Madonna just canceled,
Hector. You're free.
245
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,732
Follow me, senorita.
246
00:14:14,803 --> 00:14:16,737
[Spanish, Indistinct]
247
00:14:18,674 --> 00:14:21,142
Siéntate, mi princesa.
248
00:14:21,209 --> 00:14:23,143
Oh. [Chuckles]
Olé!
249
00:14:24,212 --> 00:14:28,410
Concha, the lady
would like a manicure.
250
00:14:28,483 --> 00:14:31,509
So, are you married, senorita?
251
00:14:31,586 --> 00:14:33,781
Well... Oh, my goodness!
252
00:14:33,855 --> 00:14:37,689
Aren't you something?
As a matter of fact I am, Senor Hector.
253
00:14:37,759 --> 00:14:40,728
Let me ask you a question.
What would you do...
254
00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:43,731
if you found
your worthless husband...
255
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,495
alone in the bathroom
with a strange woman?
256
00:14:46,568 --> 00:14:50,004
Oh, I'm afraid I would just kick
his little behind. Ow!
257
00:14:50,072 --> 00:14:52,563
What if he was only there
trying to fix the plumbing?
258
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:56,133
Well, there doesn't seem to be anything
wrong with that, I guess. [Screams]
259
00:14:56,211 --> 00:14:59,146
But what if his plumbing
is so bad...
260
00:14:59,214 --> 00:15:02,274
that he can't even
satisfy his own wife?
261
00:15:02,351 --> 00:15:06,117
You know, as a wife,
I would find that extremely frustrating.
262
00:15:06,188 --> 00:15:08,679
Well, of course, maybe
he wasn't doing everything he could...
263
00:15:08,757 --> 00:15:10,691
to feel more like a man.
[Gasps]
264
00:15:10,759 --> 00:15:13,990
What I mean is... I mean,
maybe it was because his cologne...
265
00:15:14,062 --> 00:15:17,293
- smelled a little more like embalming fluid.
- Oh, no, baby!
266
00:15:17,366 --> 00:15:19,891
I bought Hector
that cologne, okay?
267
00:15:19,968 --> 00:15:22,493
Are you talking about
my wife's taste in cologne?
268
00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:24,562
No! You know, I think
I would just have to know...
269
00:15:24,639 --> 00:15:27,972
a little bit more about the whole
situation before rendering an opinion.
270
00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:30,841
- Excuse me. I'm late for an appointment.
- ¡Espérate.!
271
00:15:30,912 --> 00:15:33,847
Ay, look at that.
272
00:15:33,915 --> 00:15:38,818
Another valued customer has left
my establishment, and it's all your fault.
273
00:15:38,887 --> 00:15:42,948
Ah, kiss my chuteca
and die, Hector.
274
00:15:43,024 --> 00:15:47,120
I going to kill you!
[Groans]
275
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:52,892
I hope she don't take off that shoe and throw
it at his head again like she did last time.
276
00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:56,131
It's okay because he's so hard up,
he's not even going to feel it.
277
00:15:56,204 --> 00:16:00,072
[Grunting]
You know I love you...
278
00:16:00,142 --> 00:16:03,009
when your eyes are bulging.
279
00:16:03,078 --> 00:16:07,674
You make me feel so caliente when that
little vein pops outta your head.
280
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,479
Chicas, take a break.
281
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,679
I guess maybe they're not going to
get a divorce after all.
282
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,881
Honey, if that's the case, let me get
on the phone, 'cause I gotta tell Paco...
283
00:16:14,956 --> 00:16:16,890
so he can tell Pepe
and Pepe can tell Puca.
284
00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:22,590
♪♪ [Singing]
285
00:16:22,664 --> 00:16:25,394
¡A y, ay, ay.!
286
00:16:25,467 --> 00:16:27,765
Hey, brother, can we talk?
287
00:16:27,836 --> 00:16:30,566
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
288
00:16:30,639 --> 00:16:33,164
♪♪ [Singing]
289
00:16:37,979 --> 00:16:39,970
♪♪ [Rapping]
290
00:16:59,568 --> 00:17:01,900
[Siren Wailing In Distance]
291
00:17:06,908 --> 00:17:09,308
[Clears Throat]
292
00:17:10,912 --> 00:17:15,906
P.B. S... The Pavement
Broadcast System...
293
00:17:15,984 --> 00:17:18,350
proudly presents...
294
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:23,722
a new do-it-yourself-at-home
home improvement show.
295
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,488
My name is Anton...
296
00:17:26,561 --> 00:17:30,395
and this is my house,
slash bathroom...
297
00:17:30,465 --> 00:17:35,801
slash kitchen, slash backyard,
slash library.
298
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:41,803
Oh, I forgot we're on TV.
Let me fix my makeup.
299
00:17:48,216 --> 00:17:50,275
Now, let's...
300
00:17:50,352 --> 00:17:53,253
We're gonna need
a little bit of work light...
301
00:17:53,321 --> 00:17:56,984
so let's go to
a convenient power source.
302
00:18:01,396 --> 00:18:04,229
- [Electricity Crackling]
- [Yelling]
303
00:18:13,808 --> 00:18:19,303
Remember, safety last
when you ain't got no money.
304
00:18:21,283 --> 00:18:24,980
Now, today we're gonna
add on a new room.
305
00:18:25,053 --> 00:18:30,116
But I have to make sure
that I got the proper tools.
306
00:18:31,326 --> 00:18:33,419
This is the drill.
307
00:18:36,164 --> 00:18:38,132
My hammer.
308
00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:44,838
My measuring tape.
309
00:18:50,779 --> 00:18:53,441
Oh, that's the extension cord.
310
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:58,883
Let's just use the rope for now.
[Laughs]
311
00:19:03,558 --> 00:19:08,188
And last but not least,
I need my screwdriver.
312
00:19:12,834 --> 00:19:15,803
Ahh! Ohh!
313
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,200
I need another one of that.
314
00:19:24,813 --> 00:19:28,681
Now let's get started, shall we?
315
00:19:31,453 --> 00:19:34,980
Now, in order to add on
this new room...
316
00:19:35,056 --> 00:19:37,786
we're gonna have to
make a new doorway.
317
00:19:37,859 --> 00:19:41,886
So what do we do? We mark it.
[Spits]
318
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,660
With an "X."
319
00:19:47,736 --> 00:19:50,136
And then we cut the hole.
320
00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:57,940
Smooth out the rough edges.
321
00:20:00,849 --> 00:20:02,817
Pick up our pants.
322
00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:09,445
And now let's add on
the new room.
323
00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:17,456
Now, in order to bond this...
324
00:20:17,532 --> 00:20:21,593
we're gonna have to use
an all-natural adhesive.
325
00:20:33,548 --> 00:20:36,745
Y'all children,
don't try this at home.
326
00:20:38,253 --> 00:20:41,051
We just put that there.
327
00:20:41,122 --> 00:20:46,219
And when this dries,
it'll be crazy like Krazy Glue.
328
00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:53,299
Now, our new guest wing
is almost complete.
329
00:20:53,368 --> 00:20:55,563
But not yet.
330
00:20:55,637 --> 00:20:58,504
We need to install the plumbing.
331
00:21:00,608 --> 00:21:03,133
I'll go get the bathroom.
332
00:21:12,387 --> 00:21:16,756
So, we'll just set that there,
right there. Wait.
333
00:21:16,825 --> 00:21:20,454
Put a little toilet paper
in there.
334
00:21:24,365 --> 00:21:29,166
So, now when company come over,
they don't have to steal your bathroom.
335
00:21:30,171 --> 00:21:33,004
Well, that's the show for today.
336
00:21:33,074 --> 00:21:35,736
Join me next week
when I'll be showing you...
337
00:21:35,810 --> 00:21:39,712
how to make a Jacuzzi
out of a garbage can.
338
00:21:41,116 --> 00:21:44,643
This is Anton
for This OI'Box saying...
339
00:21:44,719 --> 00:21:47,517
"Hasta la... something other."
340
00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:02,499
All right.
Thank you very much.
341
00:22:02,570 --> 00:22:06,438
We'll see you next time.
Say hello to our newest cast member.
342
00:22:06,508 --> 00:22:08,874
Say... Say good night
to everybody.
343
00:22:08,943 --> 00:22:10,877
- Tell 'em, "See you next week."
- Say good night.
344
00:22:10,945 --> 00:22:14,312
- Say see you next week. "See you next week."
- See you next week.! Ha.!
345
00:22:14,382 --> 00:22:17,783
That's why she's not getting scheduled.
Good night.
346
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:04,420
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
347
00:23:04,499 --> 00:23:06,433
♪ In living color♪♪
29240
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof