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1
00:00:03,221 --> 00:00:06,952
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
2
00:00:07,025 --> 00:00:09,960
♪ In living color♪
3
00:00:10,028 --> 00:00:11,791
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪
4
00:00:11,863 --> 00:00:14,957
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
5
00:00:15,033 --> 00:00:16,591
♪ In living color♪
6
00:00:19,237 --> 00:00:21,296
♪ In living color♪
7
00:00:21,372 --> 00:00:23,602
♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
8
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:26,075
♪ It's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
9
00:00:26,144 --> 00:00:27,907
♪ Take it from meIt's a'ight to be ♪
10
00:00:27,979 --> 00:00:30,174
♪ In living color♪
11
00:00:30,248 --> 00:00:31,806
♪ How would you feel knowingprejudice was obsolete ♪
12
00:00:31,883 --> 00:00:34,181
♪ And all mankind dancedto the exact beat ♪
13
00:00:34,252 --> 00:00:37,346
♪ And at night it was safeto walk down the street ♪
14
00:00:37,422 --> 00:00:41,415
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
15
00:00:41,492 --> 00:00:44,120
♪ In living color♪
16
00:00:44,195 --> 00:00:45,628
♪ In living color♪
17
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:49,189
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
18
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,462
♪ In living color♪
19
00:00:51,536 --> 00:00:54,004
♪ In living color♪
20
00:00:54,072 --> 00:00:56,472
♪ Everybody hereis equally kind ♪
21
00:00:56,541 --> 00:00:58,771
♪ In living color♪
22
00:00:58,843 --> 00:01:01,471
♪ What's mine is yoursand what's yours is mine ♪
23
00:01:01,546 --> 00:01:02,979
♪ In living color♪
24
00:01:03,047 --> 00:01:05,015
♪ How would you feel knowingeverybody was your friend ♪
25
00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:07,643
♪ From thin to thickand through thick and thin ♪
26
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:10,347
♪ And egotistical tripswas put to an end ♪
27
00:01:10,421 --> 00:01:12,685
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
28
00:01:12,757 --> 00:01:16,249
♪ In living color♪
29
00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:18,295
♪ In living color♪
30
00:01:18,363 --> 00:01:20,388
♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
31
00:01:20,465 --> 00:01:22,729
♪ It's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
32
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,734
♪ Take it from meIt's a'ight to be ♪
33
00:01:24,802 --> 00:01:26,463
♪ In living color♪
34
00:01:26,537 --> 00:01:29,131
♪ How would you feel knowingprejudice was obsolete ♪
35
00:01:29,207 --> 00:01:31,232
♪ And all mankind dancedto the exact beat ♪
36
00:01:31,309 --> 00:01:34,642
♪ And at night it was safeto walk down the street ♪
37
00:01:34,712 --> 00:01:38,546
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
38
00:01:38,616 --> 00:01:40,584
♪ In living color♪♪
39
00:01:41,652 --> 00:01:45,019
Ladies and gentlemen,
Keenen Ivory Wayans.
40
00:01:51,129 --> 00:01:53,120
Thank you.
41
00:01:55,967 --> 00:01:57,992
All right.
42
00:01:58,069 --> 00:02:02,233
- Thank you.
- [Cheering Continues]
43
00:02:02,306 --> 00:02:04,797
Thank you. I'm Keenen Ivory Wayans.
Welcome to the show.
44
00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:07,242
Like I said, I always like
to keep this short and sweet.
45
00:02:07,311 --> 00:02:10,940
So we start by saying hello
to my crew, my D.J. S.W. One.
46
00:02:11,015 --> 00:02:14,007
[Audience Cheering]
47
00:02:16,154 --> 00:02:19,180
And before we get to the laughs,
we gotta get to the ladies.
48
00:02:19,257 --> 00:02:23,489
Starting over here with Cari,
Carrie Ann, Lisa...
49
00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,495
Michelle and Deidre.
50
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:29,659
- My Fly Girls. Give it up.- [Audience Cheering]
51
00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:32,862
All right. Sit back, relax.
We'll be there in a minute.
52
00:02:32,937 --> 00:02:34,871
See ya.
53
00:02:34,939 --> 00:02:38,272
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
54
00:02:38,342 --> 00:02:40,276
♪ In living color♪
55
00:02:41,846 --> 00:02:45,077
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ You can walk on the moon ♪♪
56
00:02:46,484 --> 00:02:49,476
[Karate Yells]
57
00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:57,794
[Forcibly Exhales]
58
00:02:57,862 --> 00:02:59,853
Line up!
59
00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:07,165
Welcome to the first meeting...
60
00:03:07,238 --> 00:03:09,934
of complete self-defense
for women.
61
00:03:10,007 --> 00:03:11,998
I'm BobJackson.
62
00:03:14,212 --> 00:03:16,544
I have a black belt
in karate...
63
00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:19,378
and I've studied martial arts
for over 20 years.
64
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,614
I'm also...
65
00:03:24,689 --> 00:03:27,852
a former world champion.
66
00:03:29,427 --> 00:03:31,418
Now...
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00:03:32,497 --> 00:03:35,728
this course may cost
more than others...
68
00:03:36,734 --> 00:03:38,861
but I guarantee...
69
00:03:38,936 --> 00:03:42,633
you'll never be afraid
of violence again.
70
00:03:46,677 --> 00:03:49,043
Now, let me ask.
71
00:03:49,113 --> 00:03:52,571
What are you ladies
most concerned about?
72
00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:57,053
- Yes, you.!
- Okay. Say you find out
something about your husband...
73
00:03:57,121 --> 00:04:00,181
like he got another wife
and some kids.
74
00:04:00,258 --> 00:04:04,558
Well, what I wanna know is,
how do you kill a man in his sleep?
75
00:04:06,764 --> 00:04:08,288
What?
76
00:04:08,366 --> 00:04:11,824
Let me think about that one.
77
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:14,098
Why don't we start, though...
78
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:18,198
with defense against
a knife attack.
79
00:04:20,378 --> 00:04:22,312
- Who would like to attack me?
- Ooh, me!
80
00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:25,679
- I got one in my purse.
- Why don't you try?
81
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:28,480
- This is a real knife.
- Don't worry about it, grasshopper.
82
00:04:29,954 --> 00:04:32,286
- I don't know. I really...
- [Exhaling Forcibly]
83
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:36,258
- I don't think I should.
- It's okay. Come on!
84
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:42,422
- [Screams]
- Oh, my God! I'm really sorry!
85
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,832
- L-l-l-l...
- [Girls Exclaiming]
86
00:04:44,902 --> 00:04:48,360
I didn't mean it.
Are you all right?
87
00:04:48,439 --> 00:04:50,964
I'm fine.
88
00:04:51,042 --> 00:04:53,977
I shifted
my internal organs...
89
00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,775
to avoid the knife.
90
00:04:56,847 --> 00:04:58,838
However...
91
00:05:00,418 --> 00:05:03,114
like a lot
of beginning students...
92
00:05:03,187 --> 00:05:06,816
- you attacked me wrong.
- Oh!
93
00:05:06,891 --> 00:05:09,792
You're supposed
to come at me like this.
94
00:05:11,596 --> 00:05:13,530
All right.
95
00:05:13,598 --> 00:05:16,567
- Now, remember that and try it again.
- Okay.
96
00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:19,762
- Sort of a downward thing.
- [Exhaling Forcibly]
97
00:05:19,837 --> 00:05:21,828
All right-y.
98
00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:24,841
- [Screams]
- [Women Screaming]
99
00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:27,878
I'm really sorry! Uh...
100
00:05:27,945 --> 00:05:31,642
You seem to be losing a lot of blood.
Can I get you anything?
101
00:05:31,716 --> 00:05:33,775
Oh, man!
102
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:37,250
[Gasps]
Oh!
103
00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:45,885
You see, you're still
bending your elbows.
104
00:05:46,897 --> 00:05:51,300
You've got to keep... your arm...
completely straight.
105
00:05:51,369 --> 00:05:54,202
- Oh. All right.
- That's the whole key.
106
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,364
Oh, God.
All right.
107
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,772
- Try it one more time.
- Straight.
108
00:06:00,745 --> 00:06:03,179
Okay.
109
00:06:03,247 --> 00:06:06,614
- Okay, I got it. All right.
- That's it.
110
00:06:06,684 --> 00:06:08,549
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Just like that. Yeah.
111
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:11,611
[Karate Yells]
112
00:06:13,557 --> 00:06:15,889
- What, are you crazy?
- It's our first day!
113
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:20,693
- I just wanted to show her
how easy it can be...
- Are you all right?
114
00:06:20,765 --> 00:06:24,201
- After 20 years.
- This class is a rip-off.
I want my money back.
115
00:06:24,268 --> 00:06:26,395
- Right. Me too. And I looked it up.
- Pardon me.
116
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:30,804
- In 1976, Chuck Norris
was the world champion.
- What?
117
00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:34,333
I never said
I was the only world champion.
118
00:06:34,412 --> 00:06:36,346
There were lots of them.
119
00:06:36,414 --> 00:06:39,281
- I sparred with Elvis!
- Wow!
120
00:06:39,350 --> 00:06:43,377
Okay. Say you wake up
from a deep sleep...
121
00:06:43,454 --> 00:06:45,479
- and your wife is doing this.
- Ow!
122
00:06:45,556 --> 00:06:48,184
- What would you do then?
- And Ike Turner does this.
123
00:06:48,259 --> 00:06:51,922
- And Elvis does this.
- [Groaning]
124
00:06:51,996 --> 00:06:56,660
- Hmm?
- That might've hurt if I
hadn't shifted Mr. Happy.
125
00:07:09,113 --> 00:07:11,308
- [Phone Ringing]
- [Whispers] Oh, God.
126
00:07:12,783 --> 00:07:15,149
Well, congratulations, Tom,
on your new promotion.
127
00:07:15,219 --> 00:07:18,052
You represent our commitment
to youth.
128
00:07:18,122 --> 00:07:21,580
- Thank you, boss. Later, babe.
- Bye-bye.
129
00:07:21,659 --> 00:07:24,059
[Thinking]
Gee, another promotion for Tom.
130
00:07:24,128 --> 00:07:26,323
What is it? Youth?
131
00:07:26,397 --> 00:07:28,490
Hey, he's two years older
than I am.
132
00:07:28,566 --> 00:07:30,500
Maybe it's this grey
that's holding me back.
133
00:07:31,569 --> 00:07:33,503
[Announcer]Get rid of that grey...
134
00:07:33,571 --> 00:07:36,335
add some zest,some color to your life...
135
00:07:36,407 --> 00:07:40,639
with new and improvedGreshan Formula.
136
00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:45,580
Greshan Formula makes the changeso gradual that no one will notice.
137
00:07:45,649 --> 00:07:48,675
I'll call you back. Jim,
there's something different about you.
138
00:07:48,753 --> 00:07:50,687
Are you wearing a new suit?
139
00:07:50,755 --> 00:07:53,019
You look a little, uh...
140
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:55,149
more manly.
141
00:07:55,226 --> 00:07:57,160
You know, Jim...
142
00:07:57,228 --> 00:07:59,890
in the last few weeks,
something seems, um...
143
00:07:59,964 --> 00:08:01,864
different about you.
144
00:08:01,932 --> 00:08:05,390
You been working out?
I know. You lost some weight.
145
00:08:05,469 --> 00:08:08,768
Well, whatever it is,
keep it up.
146
00:08:08,839 --> 00:08:11,535
[Announcer]New and improved Greshan Formula...
147
00:08:11,609 --> 00:08:14,737
adds zest and color.
148
00:08:19,784 --> 00:08:21,979
[Man] Live from Las Vegas,it's 21 hours and counting...
149
00:08:22,052 --> 00:08:23,986
here atthe Jheri's Kids Telethon.
150
00:08:24,054 --> 00:08:27,490
Here's your host,Jheri Lewis.!
151
00:08:34,965 --> 00:08:40,403
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
152
00:08:40,471 --> 00:08:45,067
This is love,
and love is this.
153
00:08:45,142 --> 00:08:47,940
If you're just joining us...
154
00:08:48,012 --> 00:08:49,980
it's the 21 st hour...
155
00:08:50,047 --> 00:08:52,743
of theJheri Kids Telethon.
156
00:08:52,817 --> 00:08:56,583
We're here to fight
a deadly affliction...
157
00:08:56,654 --> 00:08:59,248
one that is suffered by
millions of inner-city youths...
158
00:08:59,323 --> 00:09:03,384
across this great nation
of ours.
159
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:06,520
Also, many public figures
such as...
160
00:09:06,597 --> 00:09:09,361
the entire singing group
Full Force.
161
00:09:09,433 --> 00:09:11,697
Get busy.
162
00:09:15,439 --> 00:09:18,772
Say hello
to one ofJheri's Kids.
163
00:09:28,619 --> 00:09:32,749
This is Rodney Washington
from Compton, California.
164
00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:35,986
And this is
the dreaded activator...
165
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:39,621
that he craves
so very desperately.
166
00:09:39,697 --> 00:09:41,995
Hey!
167
00:09:42,066 --> 00:09:47,265
Rodney, tell the people
out there...
168
00:09:47,338 --> 00:09:51,297
what happened to you
as a result of yourJheri curl.
169
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:55,001
Well, you know...
170
00:09:57,848 --> 00:10:00,043
You know, first it was
the "in thing" to do, man.
171
00:10:00,117 --> 00:10:02,984
- Everybody had one, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
172
00:10:03,053 --> 00:10:05,715
Then things started
goin' bad, man.
173
00:10:06,957 --> 00:10:09,755
My woman left me, man...
174
00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:12,887
'cause she got tired of washing
them pillow covers, man.
175
00:10:14,398 --> 00:10:18,129
Man, I was like
a walking fire hazard.
176
00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:22,468
At my job at McDonald's, man, I couldn't
even go near the heat lamps, or whoof!
177
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,406
- It's okay.
- It ain't okay.
178
00:10:25,476 --> 00:10:27,876
It's okay.
Let it go.
179
00:10:27,945 --> 00:10:30,937
Can we make
with the Kleenex here?
180
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:41,053
Okay, Rodney,
give me the good stuff.
181
00:10:41,125 --> 00:10:43,116
Well, l...
182
00:10:44,929 --> 00:10:49,332
I finally made that call to
Jheri Curl Deactivation Center.
183
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,528
- Oh, yeah!
- Yeah.
184
00:10:52,603 --> 00:10:57,233
You know, the hardest thing
I ever did, man, was staying away
from that activator, man.
185
00:10:57,308 --> 00:11:00,709
My hand was just... l-I just
needed that activator on my head.
186
00:11:00,778 --> 00:11:03,838
- Oh, yeah!
- Yes, it was terrible, man.
187
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:05,848
- But I'm on my way back, man.
- Mm-hmm.
188
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,851
- Next week I'm going to get a flattop!
- Oh, yeah!
189
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,853
That's right!
A sea has parted!
190
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:14,687
Oh, yeah! Epiphany!
191
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:17,625
Epiphany.
192
00:11:17,695 --> 00:11:20,630
So you see,
there is hope.
193
00:11:20,698 --> 00:11:24,998
Won't you please send
your donations and your love?
194
00:11:25,069 --> 00:11:28,402
Help us fight
this Jheri Curl syndrome.
195
00:11:28,472 --> 00:11:30,633
♪♪ [Piano]
196
00:11:30,708 --> 00:11:32,869
Is it time...
197
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,934
for me to sing?
198
00:11:37,414 --> 00:11:41,544
Unfortunately, this year we could not
get clearance on "Never Walk Alone."
199
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,950
I was devastated.
200
00:11:45,556 --> 00:11:48,116
So I wrote my own song.
201
00:11:48,192 --> 00:11:50,183
I hope you like it.
202
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:55,025
♪ Get up and shower
your head all clean ♪
203
00:11:55,099 --> 00:11:58,591
♪ You're not going far
with that crazy gleam ♪
204
00:11:58,669 --> 00:12:01,866
♪ Your head just
looks like crap ♪
205
00:12:01,939 --> 00:12:06,569
♪ Put that grease ball
under a tap ♪
206
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:09,669
♪ Put that grease ball ♪
207
00:12:09,747 --> 00:12:11,715
♪ Under ♪
208
00:12:11,782 --> 00:12:14,182
♪ A ♪
209
00:12:14,251 --> 00:12:16,981
♪ Tap ♪♪
210
00:12:18,288 --> 00:12:20,222
[No Audible Dialogue]
211
00:12:34,204 --> 00:12:36,695
♪♪ [Dance]
212
00:12:38,575 --> 00:12:40,907
[Man Speaking]
213
00:12:46,450 --> 00:12:49,010
♪♪ [Rapping]
214
00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:54,290
♪♪ [Rapping]
215
00:12:57,928 --> 00:13:00,795
Marty? Marty?
Listen to me, okay?
216
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:04,493
You can't rush a Tracy Chapman song,
all right?
217
00:13:04,568 --> 00:13:07,162
You know how
the creative process is.
218
00:13:07,237 --> 00:13:09,171
Man, that's just the way
I get inspired.
219
00:13:09,239 --> 00:13:11,207
I wait till the last minute.
220
00:13:11,275 --> 00:13:14,608
Have I ever let you down?
All right. Then chill out, okay?
221
00:13:14,678 --> 00:13:16,646
I'll have the song tomorrow.
222
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:20,410
Peace.
[Muttering]
223
00:13:36,033 --> 00:13:41,471
♪♪
224
00:13:41,538 --> 00:13:44,905
[Woman] Hey, you give me backmy pocket book.!
225
00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:48,342
- Shut up, you old bag of wrinkles.!- Oh.!
226
00:13:50,681 --> 00:13:54,617
♪ Children today ain't got
no respect for adults they see ♪
227
00:13:54,685 --> 00:13:56,619
♪ Knock you down and take your bag ♪
228
00:13:56,687 --> 00:13:58,746
♪ Make you have to
bandage up your knee ♪
229
00:13:58,822 --> 00:14:00,813
♪ Hair all knotted
Snot in the nose ♪
230
00:14:00,891 --> 00:14:04,258
♪ Half the niggers
Ain't got no clothes ♪
231
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:07,430
♪ I write a fast song ♪
232
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:09,557
♪ The way I do it
I can never go wrong ♪
233
00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:15,128
♪ I write a fast song
Just look out my window
see what's going on ♪
234
00:14:15,205 --> 00:14:18,368
[Brakes Screeching, Crash]
235
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:21,343
[Woman]Oh, my God.!
236
00:14:21,411 --> 00:14:23,345
♪ Old man hit by a bus ♪
237
00:14:23,413 --> 00:14:25,347
♪ I think he broke his neck ♪
238
00:14:25,415 --> 00:14:27,349
♪ Was shuffling down
to the welfare line ♪
239
00:14:27,417 --> 00:14:29,476
♪ Had to pick up his check ♪
240
00:14:29,553 --> 00:14:33,853
[Siren Wailing]
241
00:14:33,924 --> 00:14:35,892
♪ Ambulance came
took him away ♪
242
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:38,052
♪ But he can't afford
his hospital stay ♪
243
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,062
♪ Metal twisted and turned ♪
244
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:43,099
♪ There's a traffic jam
and the buses burn ♪
245
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,101
[Woman]I'll kill you.! I'll kill you.!
246
00:14:50,107 --> 00:14:52,041
♪ Big bad Ben hit his wife ♪
247
00:14:52,109 --> 00:14:54,771
♪ Miss Walker ran and got
a butcher knife ♪
248
00:14:54,845 --> 00:14:56,779
♪ Ben don't look
so tough no more ♪
249
00:14:56,847 --> 00:15:00,715
♪ He's running across the town
like a little coward ♪
250
00:15:01,685 --> 00:15:03,619
♪ Oh, no, Miss Walker
tripped over the cat ♪
251
00:15:03,687 --> 00:15:06,747
♪ Ben ran and grabbed
a baseball bat ♪
252
00:15:07,858 --> 00:15:09,792
♪ I always thought
things would get better ♪
253
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:12,829
♪ But now he's got her
in a choke hold ♪
254
00:15:13,931 --> 00:15:16,058
♪ Miss Walker picked up
a statue ♪
255
00:15:16,133 --> 00:15:20,536
♪ Knocked him in the head
Now he's out cold ♪
256
00:15:21,972 --> 00:15:25,066
♪ Uh-oh, he's up again ♪
257
00:15:25,142 --> 00:15:28,236
♪ I thought he was gone
but not yet, he's back ♪
258
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,942
♪ Miss Walker picked up
a table ♪
259
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:37,510
♪ Knocked him in the head
and he's no longer able ♪
260
00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,217
♪ I write a fast song ♪
261
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:42,520
♪ The way I do it
I can never go wrong ♪
262
00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,356
♪ I write a fast song ♪
263
00:15:44,428 --> 00:15:48,225
♪Just look out my window
see what's goin' on ♪♪
264
00:15:49,493 --> 00:15:52,792
The accused stands before you
on trial for his sins.
265
00:15:52,863 --> 00:15:55,627
Forgive me.
I loved it. Did you?
266
00:15:55,699 --> 00:15:58,224
Liar! You only
love your freedom.
267
00:15:58,302 --> 00:16:00,827
Is that a sin?
268
00:16:04,575 --> 00:16:08,033
Your life will be
a sad and lonely one.
269
00:16:08,112 --> 00:16:11,047
I heard that.
270
00:16:11,115 --> 00:16:13,049
You belong to no one.
271
00:16:13,117 --> 00:16:15,051
You belong to no one.
272
00:16:15,119 --> 00:16:17,053
You belong to no one.
273
00:16:17,121 --> 00:16:20,022
If living with Oppression
is a sin...
274
00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:23,651
then I's be guilty!
275
00:16:23,727 --> 00:16:26,321
[Woman]Oppression for black men.
276
00:16:26,397 --> 00:16:29,423
If only he wasn't so dark.
277
00:16:31,735 --> 00:16:35,796
♪♪ [Women Vocalizing]
278
00:16:35,873 --> 00:16:39,331
♪♪ [Man, Women Vocalizing]
279
00:16:44,915 --> 00:16:47,281
♪♪ [Singing]
280
00:17:00,197 --> 00:17:03,132
♪♪ [Jukebox]
281
00:17:05,436 --> 00:17:07,370
This is gonna be great.
282
00:17:07,438 --> 00:17:09,372
I hear the food here
is just super.
283
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,671
- The decor is interesting.
- [Laughs]
284
00:17:14,078 --> 00:17:18,344
Good God Almighty, we got
some more customers in here!
285
00:17:18,415 --> 00:17:20,940
Y'all go on and sit
wherever y'all wanna sit.
286
00:17:21,018 --> 00:17:24,579
The menus is up there
by the Roach Motel.
287
00:17:26,857 --> 00:17:30,520
Don't sit there.That table's reserved.
288
00:17:30,594 --> 00:17:32,528
You must not have been
at Mama's place before.
289
00:17:32,596 --> 00:17:35,656
You gonna sit where she ain't goin' to.
[Mumbling, Indistinct]
290
00:17:35,732 --> 00:17:38,758
Mama gonna have to spank you.Mama gonna have to spank you.
291
00:17:38,836 --> 00:17:41,805
Richard Simmons was an astronaut!
292
00:17:41,872 --> 00:17:44,238
[Phone Ringing]
293
00:17:44,308 --> 00:17:47,038
I'm the only one hear
the phone ringin', huh?
294
00:17:47,111 --> 00:17:50,103
First break I get,
everybody else goes deaf.
295
00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:52,876
Mm-hmm.
Let me sit.
296
00:17:54,051 --> 00:17:56,713
Hello. Snack and Shack.
297
00:17:56,787 --> 00:17:58,778
There'll be a 45 minute wait.
298
00:18:00,257 --> 00:18:02,225
Prince? I don't care
if you the Queen of Sheba...
299
00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:04,920
you're gonna have to wait
along with everybody else.
300
00:18:04,995 --> 00:18:07,589
Think they're royalty,
they get special treatment.
301
00:18:07,664 --> 00:18:09,598
- I don't care.
- Pick it up!
302
00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:11,725
Fool, I said "beans,"
not "greens."
303
00:18:11,802 --> 00:18:14,168
- You said "greens."
- I said "beans!"
304
00:18:14,238 --> 00:18:16,832
All right.
There you go. Beans.
305
00:18:16,907 --> 00:18:18,841
Pick it up
and weigh it.
306
00:18:18,909 --> 00:18:21,537
Don't mess with my pressure, woman.
Don't get my pressure up.
307
00:18:21,612 --> 00:18:23,978
The only thing you
goin' to get up anytime soon.
308
00:18:24,047 --> 00:18:27,107
You need to put some batteries
in that hearing aid, that's what I know.
309
00:18:27,184 --> 00:18:29,948
- I didn't order no greens!
- I know you didn't order no greens.
310
00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:32,716
You didn't order no chicken,
but you gonna get that,
'cause he needs new batteries.
311
00:18:32,789 --> 00:18:34,984
Gettin' on my nerves.
Can't hear nothin'.
312
00:18:35,058 --> 00:18:38,152
Why don't y'all go on and get yourself
some water or somethin'?
313
00:18:38,228 --> 00:18:40,219
Actin' like you a stranger here
at Mama's place.
314
00:18:40,297 --> 00:18:42,231
- Makin' me feel all bad like that.
- [Chuckling]
315
00:18:42,299 --> 00:18:45,200
Mama gonna have to spank you
if you keep on...
316
00:18:45,269 --> 00:18:48,966
I'll takeJoan Collins
to block!
317
00:18:55,078 --> 00:18:58,070
Oh, Lord!
[Grunting]
318
00:18:59,816 --> 00:19:02,216
Oh!
319
00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:05,414
[Relieved Sigh]
320
00:19:05,489 --> 00:19:08,083
Help me.
I got some terrible bunions.
321
00:19:08,158 --> 00:19:09,716
Onions.
Pick it up.
322
00:19:09,793 --> 00:19:11,954
Mama's gonna take care
of you, baby.
323
00:19:12,029 --> 00:19:14,088
Mama gonna special treat you.
324
00:19:14,164 --> 00:19:16,496
- We're cookin' now.
- Oh, look at you, baby.
325
00:19:16,567 --> 00:19:20,333
Just a little twinkle in your
eye, just like my grandbaby.
326
00:19:20,404 --> 00:19:22,338
Mama gonna cook
a little treat for you.
327
00:19:22,406 --> 00:19:25,273
Let me see what Mama
got down here.
328
00:19:26,777 --> 00:19:29,610
Yeah. How about a piece
of pecan pie for my baby?
329
00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:37,146
Uh, I'll just, uh...
I'll save it for later, okay?
330
00:19:37,221 --> 00:19:39,155
You gonna hurt Mama's feelings
like that? You want a piece of pie?
331
00:19:39,223 --> 00:19:42,590
No, thank you. You know what I
would like? Is a new fork, if I could.
332
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:44,593
- This one is filthy.
- Say what?
333
00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,891
- I'd like a new fork.
- Your fork is dirty?
334
00:19:46,964 --> 00:19:50,832
Oh, baby, that ain't nothin'
but a little bit of dried-up cabbage.
335
00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:57,133
- Garlic make my feet stink!
- Thanks.
336
00:19:58,375 --> 00:20:00,502
There you go, sweetheart.
It's as good as gold.
337
00:20:00,577 --> 00:20:02,511
Baby, look at you.
338
00:20:02,579 --> 00:20:04,979
You just as skinny
as you wanna be.
339
00:20:05,048 --> 00:20:07,073
Skinny as a bean pole.
Ain't she skinny as a bean pole?
340
00:20:07,150 --> 00:20:10,779
- Skinny as a bean pole.
- Fillet of sole! Pick it up!
341
00:20:12,389 --> 00:20:15,881
Um, I would just like
the salmon croquettes, please.
342
00:20:15,959 --> 00:20:18,427
Baby, you gonna have
the Salisbury steak.
343
00:20:18,495 --> 00:20:21,396
- I'm a vegetarian.
- Oh, I'm a Capricorn.
344
00:20:21,465 --> 00:20:23,899
No. See...
345
00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:26,765
No, see, she doesn't eat red meat.
That's what she's trying to say.
346
00:20:26,837 --> 00:20:28,964
Oh, you there,
smarty-pants...
347
00:20:29,039 --> 00:20:32,873
just like
my little grandson.
348
00:20:32,943 --> 00:20:36,709
Baby, Salisbury steak
ain't red. It's brown.
349
00:20:36,780 --> 00:20:39,806
See, I don't eat anything
that grazes.
350
00:20:39,883 --> 00:20:42,215
That's why your teeth
are so yellow.
351
00:20:42,286 --> 00:20:45,119
Jell-O! Pick it up!
352
00:20:45,188 --> 00:20:47,213
Luther! Luther!
353
00:20:47,291 --> 00:20:49,259
I need a Salisbury steak...
354
00:20:49,326 --> 00:20:51,385
and a double order
of macaroni and cheese.
355
00:20:51,461 --> 00:20:54,328
- Ain't no more Salisbury steak.
- We all out of Salisbury steak.
356
00:20:54,398 --> 00:20:57,731
- Luther, we out of Salisbury steak?
- Ain't no more Salisbury steak!
357
00:20:57,801 --> 00:20:59,735
Forget the steak.
358
00:20:59,803 --> 00:21:01,930
Can I just have
a Perrier, please?
359
00:21:02,005 --> 00:21:03,939
You want a pair of what?
360
00:21:04,007 --> 00:21:06,441
- No, a Perrier. It's bottled water.
- It's French.
361
00:21:06,510 --> 00:21:08,842
Ooh, this wig itches!
362
00:21:08,912 --> 00:21:12,643
- Oh, Lord!
- [Groaning]
363
00:21:12,716 --> 00:21:15,480
Feels like somethin' done
crawled up under my head and died.
364
00:21:15,552 --> 00:21:19,113
This is disgusting. I'd really like
to speak to the owner, please.
365
00:21:19,189 --> 00:21:22,056
- Baby, Mama got...
- Aw!
366
00:21:22,125 --> 00:21:24,059
- [Mumbles]
- May I please speak to the owner?
367
00:21:24,127 --> 00:21:26,061
Ooh, my hair fallin' out
on me.
368
00:21:26,129 --> 00:21:28,427
- You wanna speak to the owner?
- Yeah.
369
00:21:28,498 --> 00:21:30,591
Leon, lady over here
wanna speak to you.
370
00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:33,534
I can make
a booger talk!
371
00:21:46,550 --> 00:21:49,542
- All right.
- [Audience Cheering]
372
00:21:53,056 --> 00:21:55,115
All right. Thank you.
As usual, we hope you had fun.
373
00:21:55,192 --> 00:21:57,126
We had a good time
doin' it for you.
374
00:21:57,194 --> 00:22:00,027
Startin' May 27 th, tell them
where the party's gonna be.
375
00:22:00,097 --> 00:22:01,962
[All]
Sunday!
376
00:22:02,032 --> 00:22:04,023
Peace!
377
00:22:56,052 --> 00:22:59,715
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
378
00:22:59,790 --> 00:23:01,724
♪ In living color♪♪
29874
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