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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,124 --> 00:00:07,026 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 2 00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:09,153 ♪ In living color♪ 3 00:00:09,230 --> 00:00:11,790 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 4 00:00:11,866 --> 00:00:14,460 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 5 00:00:14,535 --> 00:00:16,526 ♪ In living color♪ 6 00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:21,299 ♪ In living color♪ 7 00:00:21,375 --> 00:00:23,605 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 8 00:00:23,678 --> 00:00:26,078 ♪ It's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 9 00:00:26,147 --> 00:00:29,173 - ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 10 00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:31,775 ♪ How would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 11 00:00:31,852 --> 00:00:34,184 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 12 00:00:34,255 --> 00:00:37,349 - ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 13 00:00:37,425 --> 00:00:41,418 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 14 00:00:41,495 --> 00:00:44,123 ♪ In living color♪ 15 00:00:44,198 --> 00:00:45,631 ♪ In living color♪ 16 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:49,192 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 17 00:00:49,270 --> 00:00:51,465 ♪ In living color♪ 18 00:00:51,539 --> 00:00:54,007 ♪ In living color♪ 19 00:00:54,075 --> 00:00:56,475 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 20 00:00:56,544 --> 00:00:58,774 ♪ In living color♪ 21 00:00:58,846 --> 00:01:01,974 - ♪ What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 22 00:01:02,049 --> 00:01:04,449 ♪ How would you feel knowing everybody was your friend ♪ 23 00:01:04,518 --> 00:01:06,611 ♪ From thin to thick and through thick and thin ♪ 24 00:01:06,687 --> 00:01:09,485 - ♪ And egotistical trips was put to an end ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 25 00:01:09,557 --> 00:01:13,493 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 26 00:01:13,561 --> 00:01:16,496 ♪ In living color♪ 27 00:01:16,564 --> 00:01:18,327 ♪ In living color♪ 28 00:01:18,399 --> 00:01:20,424 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 29 00:01:20,501 --> 00:01:22,765 ♪ It's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 30 00:01:22,837 --> 00:01:25,067 ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ 31 00:01:25,139 --> 00:01:26,902 ♪ In living color♪ 32 00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:29,033 ♪ How would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 33 00:01:29,110 --> 00:01:31,169 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 34 00:01:31,245 --> 00:01:34,612 - ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 35 00:01:34,682 --> 00:01:38,516 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 36 00:01:38,586 --> 00:01:41,316 ♪ In living color♪♪ 37 00:01:41,389 --> 00:01:45,382 Ladies and gentlemen, Keenen Ivory Wayans! 38 00:01:45,459 --> 00:01:49,452 [Audience Cheering, Applauding] 39 00:01:56,037 --> 00:01:58,733 - Thank you. - [Cheering, Applauding Continues] 40 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,644 All right. [Chuckles] 41 00:02:08,282 --> 00:02:11,718 Thank you. Thank you. And welcome to In Living Color. 42 00:02:11,786 --> 00:02:14,311 I'm Keenen Ivory Wayans. We got a great show for you tonight. 43 00:02:14,388 --> 00:02:16,982 Before I get started, I'd like to introduce a few folks to you. 44 00:02:17,058 --> 00:02:19,390 My D.J. That keeps the party rockin' all night long... 45 00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:22,190 S.W. One, in the house... give it up! 46 00:02:22,263 --> 00:02:24,527 [Cheering, Applause] 47 00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:28,767 And, of course, you got to say hello to all my Fly Girls. 48 00:02:28,836 --> 00:02:31,999 - Starting over here with Carrie Ann... - [Cheering, Applause] 49 00:02:32,073 --> 00:02:35,941 Lisa, Deidre... 50 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:39,377 - Michelle and Cari. - [Cheering, Applause Continues] 51 00:02:41,982 --> 00:02:43,916 All right. We got a great show. 52 00:02:43,984 --> 00:02:46,145 We want you to sit back, laugh, have a good time. 53 00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:49,121 And I'll see you in a minute. Let's do it. 54 00:02:49,190 --> 00:02:53,126 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 55 00:02:53,194 --> 00:02:55,321 ♪ In living color♪♪ 56 00:02:57,565 --> 00:03:00,090 ♪♪ [Theme] 57 00:03:03,571 --> 00:03:05,505 Hi. Welcome back to Love Connection. 58 00:03:05,573 --> 00:03:07,803 Told you we'd be back in two and two. 59 00:03:09,343 --> 00:03:11,868 Our next guest says she likes her men to be very wealthy. 60 00:03:11,946 --> 00:03:13,971 Let's say hello to Robin Givens. 61 00:03:19,253 --> 00:03:21,949 - Hi, Robin. - Hello, Charles. 62 00:03:22,022 --> 00:03:25,423 Don't ever call me Charles. I'll go off. [Chuckles] 63 00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:28,920 So, Robin, tell us about this wealthy thing. 64 00:03:28,996 --> 00:03:31,863 Well, Chuck, I don't want people thinking that I'm the type of woman... 65 00:03:31,932 --> 00:03:35,663 - who's only interested in the size of a man's wallet. - Mm-hmm. 66 00:03:35,736 --> 00:03:38,204 I mean, there are things that are just as important. 67 00:03:38,272 --> 00:03:42,038 - Like what? - Well, like what's in the wallet. Am I right? 68 00:03:42,109 --> 00:03:44,043 - [Cheering] - Thank you. 69 00:03:44,111 --> 00:03:46,477 Okay. [Chuckles] 70 00:03:46,547 --> 00:03:49,516 Robin, last time you were here, you picked a man to go out with. 71 00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:53,019 Now you're back to tell us how it went. Let's say hello to Mike Tyson. 72 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,316 Hello, Michael. 73 00:04:01,729 --> 00:04:04,289 - Hi, Michael. - Hi, Robin. 74 00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:09,566 - How you doin', Chuck? - Hi, there, Mike. How are you? 75 00:04:09,637 --> 00:04:12,003 Well, I got to say I'm really ecstatic to be here. 76 00:04:17,745 --> 00:04:21,272 All righty, then. Robin, tell us how the date started. 77 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:24,545 Well, at first, I called Michael and, of course, things didn't go very well... 78 00:04:24,618 --> 00:04:26,916 because he's just a boxer from Brooklyn... 79 00:04:26,987 --> 00:04:30,479 and, of course, I was a Harvard medical student. 80 00:04:33,961 --> 00:04:36,327 What about you, Mike? What did you think of Robin? 81 00:04:36,397 --> 00:04:40,834 Well, Chuck, when I first saw Robin, I was ecstatic. 82 00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:44,302 I mean, she had this... she had this really tight dress on... 83 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,362 you know, the kind with the push-up bra... 84 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,431 and her breasts were, like, poppin' right out. 85 00:04:48,509 --> 00:04:51,444 Like hit me right in the eye, you know? 86 00:04:51,512 --> 00:04:55,972 And as soon as I saw them, Chuck, I said, "Wow. I'm in love," you know? 87 00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,819 Sounds like you two really hit it off. 88 00:05:00,888 --> 00:05:04,153 - So where'd you go first? - Well, first, Chuck... 89 00:05:04,225 --> 00:05:06,659 we went to this lovely little jewelry store... 90 00:05:06,727 --> 00:05:08,957 where I allowed Michael to purchase me... 91 00:05:09,029 --> 00:05:12,556 a very lovely ruby, diamond and sapphire collection... 92 00:05:12,633 --> 00:05:15,067 and a matching car. 93 00:05:15,135 --> 00:05:19,799 - Sounds nice. Did you give Mike anything? - Lithium. 94 00:05:19,874 --> 00:05:23,002 It made... It made me feel really ecstatic, Chuck. 95 00:05:23,077 --> 00:05:25,875 - Uh-huh. - Yes, we know, Michael. We know. 96 00:05:25,946 --> 00:05:28,938 So, where'd you go next? 97 00:05:29,016 --> 00:05:31,416 Well, then we went to the most beautiful little wedding chapel... 98 00:05:31,485 --> 00:05:35,114 where my mother was waiting with a justice of the peace, and we got married! 99 00:05:35,189 --> 00:05:39,489 - Thank you very much. - [Cheering, Applause] 100 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,653 [Chuck] Mike, what did you think of Robin's mother? 101 00:05:41,729 --> 00:05:45,062 Well, I got to be honest, Chuck. I wasn't too ecstatic. 102 00:05:47,034 --> 00:05:49,161 You know, I looked at her mom, the first thing I thought was... 103 00:05:49,236 --> 00:05:53,070 "Wow. This lady really needs a hair weave." 104 00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:55,074 - And I'm, sorry, Robin. - [Robin] Michael... 105 00:05:55,142 --> 00:05:57,372 I'm really sorry, darlin', but your mom's head... 106 00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,503 her forehead is just way too big... 107 00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:03,277 - and she just has too little hair to cover it, you know? - Messy. 108 00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:08,049 But I tell you something though, what really separates Robin from her mom is class. 109 00:06:08,122 --> 00:06:11,523 Because the franks were still bothering me 'cause I had a boiled egg too. 110 00:06:11,592 --> 00:06:14,493 And I kinda cut one in the car, you know? 111 00:06:14,561 --> 00:06:18,122 And her mom made a big stink out of it. [Giggles] 112 00:06:20,234 --> 00:06:22,862 Robin, we're almost out of time. Tell us about the rest of the date. 113 00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:25,497 Well, Charles... 114 00:06:25,572 --> 00:06:28,803 after the bank, the lithium began to wear off... 115 00:06:28,876 --> 00:06:31,640 - and Michael went a little wild. - [Mike] Oh, come on, Robin. 116 00:06:31,712 --> 00:06:33,907 - What happened, Mike? - Oh, well... 117 00:06:33,981 --> 00:06:35,915 Well, Chuck, it was really simple. 118 00:06:35,983 --> 00:06:38,713 It was quite innocent. I was in the parking lot picking up the car... 119 00:06:38,786 --> 00:06:41,254 I'm waitin' on Robin and her mom, and I see this girl. 120 00:06:41,322 --> 00:06:44,257 She has a really nice butt. So I walk over, I go, "Hi, my name is Mike." 121 00:06:44,325 --> 00:06:46,759 And then I shove my tongue down her throat, you know? 122 00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:49,193 And this guy comes over and goes, "Hey, that's my mother." 123 00:06:49,263 --> 00:06:52,994 So I punch him in his gut, you know, and he started making little wormy noises. 124 00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:55,865 It was pretty funny. He was, like, "Oh, God, I'm bleedin' internally." 125 00:06:55,936 --> 00:06:59,531 It was pretty funny, you know? It reminded me of the Bonecrusher Smith fight... 126 00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:03,303 where I hit him in his third rib and then tried to push his nose up into his brain, you know? 127 00:07:03,377 --> 00:07:05,311 - And I came over with... - [Chuck] Whoa.! Whoa.! 128 00:07:05,379 --> 00:07:07,779 - I hit him and he went down. - Whoa! Whoa! Ding! Ding! 129 00:07:09,116 --> 00:07:11,346 [Chuck] Ding.! 130 00:07:11,418 --> 00:07:13,409 Wow, that was quite a date. 131 00:07:15,789 --> 00:07:17,882 Let's see who our audience picked for you. 132 00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,949 Was it Mike? 133 00:07:21,462 --> 00:07:23,453 John KennedyJr.? 134 00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:26,856 Or Donald Trump? 135 00:07:30,437 --> 00:07:32,371 They picked Mike by 41%. 136 00:07:32,439 --> 00:07:34,634 So if you two would like to go out again... 137 00:07:34,708 --> 00:07:37,370 [Chuckles] Ultimately, Mike will pay for it. 138 00:07:40,214 --> 00:07:43,411 Well, there is a lovely little fur salon I'd like to go to. 139 00:07:43,484 --> 00:07:45,714 Michael, I wouldn't mind. 140 00:07:45,786 --> 00:07:47,811 - [Giggles] - What about you, Michael? 141 00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:52,888 All right. I guess it's all right, Robin. 142 00:07:54,995 --> 00:07:57,156 Well, be sure to come back and tell us about it. 143 00:07:57,231 --> 00:08:01,361 Hey, Mike, maybe I'll see you on Scrabble sometime. Yeah, right. 144 00:08:01,435 --> 00:08:06,600 Hey, "ecstatic." E-X-K-l-T. 145 00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:12,476 - All right? - Are you gonna tell him he's wrong? [Chuckles] 146 00:08:12,546 --> 00:08:14,480 Well, that's it, folks. I'm Chuck Woolery. 147 00:08:14,548 --> 00:08:17,984 Until next time, may all your dates be a matter of public record. 148 00:08:27,694 --> 00:08:31,323 ♪♪ [Fanfare] 149 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:37,762 On July 20, 1969, Apollo astronauts Neil Armstrong... 150 00:08:37,838 --> 00:08:42,832 Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins and Slick Johnson orbited the moon. 151 00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:44,844 Collins remained in the command module... 152 00:08:44,912 --> 00:08:46,880 and Armstrong, Aldrin and Johnson... 153 00:08:46,947 --> 00:08:49,973 landed the small lunar module on the moon's surface. 154 00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:52,314 While the men were exploring the area... 155 00:08:52,386 --> 00:08:54,911 Armstrong received word from mission control... 156 00:08:54,988 --> 00:08:57,957 that a system malfunction had left them with only enough fuel... 157 00:08:58,025 --> 00:09:02,257 to take three of the four pioneers safely back to Earth. 158 00:09:02,329 --> 00:09:04,695 After conferring with Collins and Aldrin... 159 00:09:04,765 --> 00:09:08,758 Armstrong sentJohnson out to find a nice spot to play volleyball. 160 00:09:08,836 --> 00:09:14,001 Minutes later, the landing module took off, leaving Slick behind. 161 00:09:14,074 --> 00:09:16,804 Hey, come on, y'all! Stop playin', man! 162 00:09:16,877 --> 00:09:19,846 Hey, yo, that's not funny! That's not funny, man! Come back here! 163 00:09:19,913 --> 00:09:22,074 The mission was an otherwise perfect success. 164 00:09:22,149 --> 00:09:27,951 And an embarrassed NASA deleted all references toJohnson from its official literature. 165 00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:30,854 Tonight, we salute SlickJohnson... 166 00:09:30,924 --> 00:09:33,154 the first black man on the moon. 167 00:09:33,227 --> 00:09:36,594 I'm Tommy Davidson with another great moment in black history. 168 00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:49,203 Yo, yo, yo, all you bad bargain hunters out there! 169 00:09:49,275 --> 00:09:52,836 Welcome to the Homeboy Shopping Network. 170 00:09:52,912 --> 00:09:55,107 Yo! We're the host with the most. 171 00:09:55,181 --> 00:09:57,911 - I'm Whiz, this is the Iceman. - Chillin'. 172 00:09:57,984 --> 00:10:00,384 [Both] Let's show 'em what we got. 173 00:10:04,657 --> 00:10:07,956 - Look at all this stuff, man. - It's like a warehouse sale. 174 00:10:08,027 --> 00:10:10,860 - Look at all this stuff. - What have we got? Let's show 'em the first item. 175 00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:13,194 - All right, we got this. - For your automotive needs. 176 00:10:13,266 --> 00:10:18,135 We got car phones, we got car stereos, we got car alarms. 177 00:10:18,204 --> 00:10:21,298 And if you act now, we could probably get the car. 178 00:10:21,374 --> 00:10:23,774 Probably. 179 00:10:23,843 --> 00:10:25,777 - Yo, give 'em the number. - All right. 180 00:10:25,845 --> 00:10:28,336 Uh, yeah. 181 00:10:28,414 --> 00:10:30,405 Operators are standin' by. 182 00:10:35,388 --> 00:10:37,856 Yo, our next item up for sale... 183 00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:41,690 - jewelry, jewelry, jewelry! - Look at all this stuff! Look at all this! 184 00:10:41,761 --> 00:10:43,695 Lovely assortment of gold chains. 185 00:10:43,763 --> 00:10:46,664 Some of them have been broken in transit, though. 186 00:10:46,732 --> 00:10:49,963 - Oh, a lovely diamond clustered ring. - Oh, wow, look at this one. 187 00:10:50,036 --> 00:10:53,335 - Oh, man. - You gonna keep it? 188 00:10:53,406 --> 00:10:56,000 Yeah. 189 00:10:56,075 --> 00:11:02,036 - I'm sorry, customers. That was merely a display item. - [Phone Rings] 190 00:11:02,114 --> 00:11:04,639 We got callers already. Damn! 191 00:11:04,717 --> 00:11:08,244 Hello. Welcome to the Homeboy Shopping Network. 192 00:11:08,321 --> 00:11:10,255 [Man] That's my wife's ring! 193 00:11:10,323 --> 00:11:14,384 If I ever get my hands on you, you sleazy, slimy, son of a... 194 00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:18,863 - [Laughing] - [Both] Another satisfied customer. 195 00:11:18,931 --> 00:11:22,867 Yo, check these out. This is something really special. 196 00:11:22,935 --> 00:11:26,632 Now... Now these are some... These are the top-of-the-line stuff, man, you know? 197 00:11:26,706 --> 00:11:30,267 These are some of the finer TVs you might find at some of the better hotels. 198 00:11:30,343 --> 00:11:34,575 Matter of fact, these are the same TVs you find in the better hotels. 199 00:11:34,647 --> 00:11:37,081 - Yeah. - Yo, check it out. 200 00:11:37,149 --> 00:11:40,744 They're a little wobbly, right? They're a little bit wobbly. But check this out. 201 00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:44,256 If you act now, we'll throw in these free Gideon Bibles... 202 00:11:44,323 --> 00:11:48,726 - you just throw 'em all the way underneath like that. - Check it out. 203 00:11:48,794 --> 00:11:50,728 Straight! 204 00:11:50,796 --> 00:11:54,857 Oh, yeah, now for you cable buffs out there, man, we got something special for you. 205 00:11:54,934 --> 00:11:57,095 Check this out. Check this out. 206 00:11:58,404 --> 00:12:00,634 Now... 207 00:12:03,242 --> 00:12:06,769 Yo, not only will you get, like... 208 00:12:06,846 --> 00:12:09,337 all the cable stations out there... 209 00:12:09,415 --> 00:12:12,976 But you'll be able to talk directly to the astronauts. 210 00:12:15,421 --> 00:12:18,322 Ain't that lovely? Show 'em the other stuff. Show 'em the other stuff. 211 00:12:18,391 --> 00:12:21,554 Now this... this is somethin' special. 212 00:12:21,627 --> 00:12:23,925 You talk about at-home bankin'. 213 00:12:27,466 --> 00:12:29,400 Yo, yo, yo. 214 00:12:29,468 --> 00:12:33,598 All you got to do is hook this bad boy up in your house... 215 00:12:33,673 --> 00:12:35,698 - And what you got? - You throw the card in there... Boom... 216 00:12:35,775 --> 00:12:38,642 or somebody else's card... Boom... like that... 217 00:12:38,711 --> 00:12:41,805 [Both] Mo' money, mo' money, mo' money. 218 00:12:42,782 --> 00:12:46,616 [Siren Blaring, Approaching] 219 00:12:48,788 --> 00:12:52,656 - Uh-oh! Do I hear a bluelight special? - I think so. 220 00:12:52,725 --> 00:12:56,024 - Well, you know what that means. - That's right. We're movin' locations. 221 00:12:56,095 --> 00:12:59,462 So, join us next week on the Homeboy Shopping Network. 222 00:12:59,532 --> 00:13:01,762 - Same time... - Different corner. 223 00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:04,735 [Both] Peace! 224 00:13:04,804 --> 00:13:07,637 ♪♪ [Dance] 225 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,632 - ♪♪ [Ends] - [Applause, Cheering] 226 00:13:48,247 --> 00:13:53,742 Hi. This is Redd Foxx with your 1990 tax tips. 227 00:13:53,819 --> 00:13:56,481 Tip number one... pay 'em. 228 00:13:58,324 --> 00:14:02,693 Tip number two... if the I.R.S. Man show up to your house... 229 00:14:02,762 --> 00:14:08,359 lie... about everything, especially who you is. 230 00:14:08,434 --> 00:14:11,096 Get back to work, you crusty old heathen. 231 00:14:14,406 --> 00:14:17,671 Oh, Lord! I thought I flushed my toilet. 232 00:14:19,445 --> 00:14:22,812 I'm the one who save you from the I.R.S. 233 00:14:22,882 --> 00:14:24,873 You belong to me now. 234 00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:27,111 And when you finish cleanin' up and dustin' in here... 235 00:14:27,186 --> 00:14:29,916 I want you to come in the room, massage my feet... 236 00:14:29,989 --> 00:14:32,651 and pop the pimples on my back! 237 00:14:36,162 --> 00:14:38,460 Oh, Lord! There's got to be a better way. 238 00:14:38,531 --> 00:14:41,125 Somebody help me! Eddie! Richard! Lamont! 239 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,169 Somebody tell MichaelJackson to come get Bubbles. 240 00:14:45,604 --> 00:14:48,164 Come here, you old geezer. 241 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,505 You my love slave now. 242 00:14:56,248 --> 00:14:59,706 If your breasts drop any lower, they're gonna be knees. 243 00:14:59,785 --> 00:15:03,585 You got the devil in you! 244 00:15:03,656 --> 00:15:06,420 Oh, Lord, somebody help me. I'd give you five of these... 245 00:15:06,492 --> 00:15:08,687 but I don't want to get none of that dog spit on my hands. 246 00:15:08,761 --> 00:15:10,956 You gonna make love to me if it kills you, Fred. 247 00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:14,022 It will! Elizabeth, I'm comin' to join you, honey... 248 00:15:14,099 --> 00:15:16,829 with a half a bottle of Ripple and an old toothbrush. 249 00:15:16,902 --> 00:15:19,427 Save me! Somebody, help me! 250 00:15:23,976 --> 00:15:27,434 I was buying a shirt at this clothing store and I was out of cash. 251 00:15:27,513 --> 00:15:30,641 So I gave the salesman my Equity Express Gold Card. 252 00:15:30,716 --> 00:15:32,684 I got a call from the store manager. 253 00:15:32,751 --> 00:15:36,482 He said he was suspicious of a customer trying to use an Equity Express card. 254 00:15:36,555 --> 00:15:38,489 From the manager's description of the man... 255 00:15:38,557 --> 00:15:42,425 it was clear he wasn't the right sort to be carrying a Gold Card, if you know what I mean. 256 00:15:42,494 --> 00:15:44,621 So I ran a check on his credit. 257 00:15:44,697 --> 00:15:48,497 [Scoffs] I knew my credit was good, 'cause I just paid my bill. 258 00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:52,025 But the manager asked to see my driver's license, I gave him that. 259 00:15:52,104 --> 00:15:54,038 My birth certificate, no problem. 260 00:15:54,106 --> 00:15:56,040 Mother's maiden name, I had that too. 261 00:15:56,108 --> 00:15:58,303 You see, this had happened before. 262 00:15:58,377 --> 00:16:00,641 He answered all of our questions easily. 263 00:16:00,713 --> 00:16:03,181 There was no doubt that it was his card. 264 00:16:03,249 --> 00:16:05,945 But I wasn't giving up so fast. 265 00:16:06,018 --> 00:16:08,316 I asked to speak to the customer directly. 266 00:16:08,387 --> 00:16:13,723 Then the lady asked me who won the Bob Hope Invitational Golf Tournament in 1978. 267 00:16:13,792 --> 00:16:17,023 [Man's Voice] I said, "Kiss my butt, bitch." 268 00:16:17,096 --> 00:16:19,087 Approve my credit. 269 00:16:19,164 --> 00:16:21,098 I had him. 270 00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:25,159 Use of obscenity over interstate phone lines is a federal offense. 271 00:16:25,237 --> 00:16:28,866 So I asked the store manager to stall him while I called the police. 272 00:16:28,941 --> 00:16:32,104 So they told me everything was cool... 273 00:16:32,177 --> 00:16:35,635 and they started treating me real nice, a little too nice. 274 00:16:35,714 --> 00:16:41,653 They gift wrapped my shirt, they served me hors d'oeuvres and started doing magic tricks. 275 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,984 Then it got a little late, so I got up to leave. 276 00:16:44,056 --> 00:16:46,650 [Woman] Luckily, the cops got there in time. 277 00:16:46,725 --> 00:16:48,955 Sure he sued us and won... 278 00:16:49,028 --> 00:16:52,862 but it was still fun to do and the store manager was grateful. 279 00:16:52,932 --> 00:16:57,460 [Woman] You see, helping people is what we're all about. 280 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,607 [Man] Equity Express, don't leave your crib without it... 281 00:17:04,677 --> 00:17:07,407 or your driver's license or your birth certificate... 282 00:17:07,479 --> 00:17:09,743 or your high school diploma, or your blood type... 283 00:17:09,815 --> 00:17:12,443 or your passport, or your dental records, or your fingerprints... 284 00:17:12,518 --> 00:17:14,509 or a notarized letter from the president. 285 00:17:14,586 --> 00:17:17,350 ♪♪ [Dance] 286 00:17:55,294 --> 00:17:57,990 ♪♪ [Ends] 287 00:17:59,431 --> 00:18:01,365 ♪ In Living Color♪♪ 288 00:18:03,135 --> 00:18:06,662 [Announcer] And now, Public Access presents Men On Films. 289 00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:12,905 - Hello. I'm Blayne Edwards. - And I'm Antoine Merriwether. 290 00:18:12,978 --> 00:18:16,141 [Both] And welcome to Men On Films. 291 00:18:16,215 --> 00:18:18,342 We're gonna be reviewing the latest films. 292 00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:20,578 From a male point of view. 293 00:18:20,652 --> 00:18:24,952 First up, is that controversial movie... Do The Right Thing. 294 00:18:25,024 --> 00:18:28,482 Now I like little Spike Lee's courage in making this film. 295 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,155 I especially liked the way he mixed the racial tension with the violence... 296 00:18:32,231 --> 00:18:34,893 in order to give his message: Do the right thing. 297 00:18:34,967 --> 00:18:38,198 Come on out of the closet. Don't be afraid to be who you is... 298 00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:40,204 - Black, white or whatever. - Mm-hmm. 299 00:18:40,272 --> 00:18:43,400 Ain't that the truth, Ruth. [Giggles] 300 00:18:43,475 --> 00:18:48,003 Now I'd like to talk about an exciting new film... Karate Kid, Part Three. 301 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,345 It's all about men working out their problems in a very physical way. 302 00:18:51,417 --> 00:18:53,681 - It was all so primitive. - Mm-hmm. 303 00:18:53,752 --> 00:18:57,244 And I really enjoyed Mr. Miyagi, played by little Pat Morita. 304 00:18:57,322 --> 00:19:01,486 Ooh, and that Ralph Macchio, three words... Fab-U-Lous. 305 00:19:06,565 --> 00:19:09,591 - Boy, I hope I look that good when I'm 40. - Stop. 306 00:19:10,803 --> 00:19:12,737 But I have to disagree. I disagree. 307 00:19:12,805 --> 00:19:14,966 There's just too much violence in this movie. 308 00:19:16,008 --> 00:19:17,999 Don't get mad. 309 00:19:21,747 --> 00:19:24,841 Stop. [Indistinct] 310 00:19:27,486 --> 00:19:29,613 You better give me back my scarf. 311 00:19:30,656 --> 00:19:32,749 Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful. 312 00:19:36,261 --> 00:19:38,354 They went all wrong. What's all this kickin' about? 313 00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:40,421 This is a movie about relationships. 314 00:19:40,499 --> 00:19:43,662 This could have been a beautiful picture about the special friendship... 315 00:19:43,735 --> 00:19:46,898 between a mature, masculine, older man... 316 00:19:46,972 --> 00:19:50,464 and a tender, ripening, consenting young man. 317 00:19:51,844 --> 00:19:54,278 See, I think America's ready for that. 318 00:19:54,346 --> 00:19:56,371 You know I know I am. 319 00:19:57,616 --> 00:19:59,846 I bet you is. 320 00:19:59,918 --> 00:20:03,479 Now I'd like to talk about a film I've been anxiously awaitin' to see... 321 00:20:03,555 --> 00:20:05,819 Great Balls Of Fire. 322 00:20:09,027 --> 00:20:11,393 I ain't gonna touch it. 323 00:20:11,463 --> 00:20:14,364 But the title alone gets two snaps up. 324 00:20:15,801 --> 00:20:17,792 Tell it. 325 00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:24,641 - Why don't you stop. - Yes. 326 00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:27,941 Now let's talk about some films that are soon to come out on video. 327 00:20:28,013 --> 00:20:33,610 First up is Black Widow, starring Theresa Russell and Debra Winger. 328 00:20:33,685 --> 00:20:36,245 [Both] Hated it. 329 00:20:36,321 --> 00:20:38,653 Also coming out is Miss Firecracker. 330 00:20:38,724 --> 00:20:40,988 Is that Gene Anthony Ray's new movie? 331 00:20:44,496 --> 00:20:46,430 Holly Hunter. 332 00:20:46,498 --> 00:20:48,432 [Both] Hated it. 333 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:51,901 And we finally have Dangerous Liaisons... 334 00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:54,666 starring John Malkovich and Glenn Close. 335 00:20:54,740 --> 00:20:58,574 You know, John Malkovich is like every moviegoer's fantasy. 336 00:20:58,644 --> 00:21:02,705 I found myself just alone at night just thinkin' about his... 337 00:21:02,781 --> 00:21:05,272 - intensity. - Yes. 338 00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:09,684 - What'd you think of Glenn Close? - Oh, I loved him. 339 00:21:09,755 --> 00:21:14,590 And I really have to admire the producers for daring to cast a man in that role. 340 00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:18,096 I mean, that really made the picture for me. 341 00:21:18,163 --> 00:21:20,358 Hello! Glenn Close is a woman. 342 00:21:20,432 --> 00:21:23,697 [Gasps] Clutch the pearls! What a sneaky thing to do! 343 00:21:27,005 --> 00:21:29,269 Why you always sayin' stuff like that? 344 00:21:30,676 --> 00:21:32,769 Well, looks like we almost out of time. 345 00:21:32,844 --> 00:21:37,008 Would you join us next week when we talk about Mel Gibson's Lethal Weapon? 346 00:21:37,082 --> 00:21:41,143 - I hope it's loaded. - You crazy. [Giggles] 347 00:21:51,230 --> 00:21:53,289 - [Cheering, Applause] - Thank you. 348 00:21:56,668 --> 00:22:01,128 All right. On behalf of the cast and myself... 349 00:22:01,206 --> 00:22:03,401 I want to thank you all for joining us tonight. 350 00:22:03,475 --> 00:22:05,909 We'll see you next week. Bye-bye. 351 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,212 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 352 00:22:52,291 --> 00:22:54,225 ♪ In living color♪♪ 31452

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