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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,213 [Man] Coming this fall from Fox... 2 00:00:04,289 --> 00:00:07,349 Antoine Merrywether starring in Deep Sea Men. 3 00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:09,416 Dismissed, sailor. 4 00:00:10,561 --> 00:00:12,722 ♪♪ [Whistling] 5 00:00:13,998 --> 00:00:17,126 Uh, Captain, I'm all finished in the boiler room. 6 00:00:17,201 --> 00:00:19,726 Request permission to put my shirt back on. 7 00:00:19,804 --> 00:00:25,174 Permission denied, sailor. Oh, by the way, those smudges look fabulous. 8 00:00:25,243 --> 00:00:28,644 Go put on those little shorts I like so much. Go on. 9 00:00:28,713 --> 00:00:30,977 Captain, enemy ships at 6:00 and 9:00. 10 00:00:31,049 --> 00:00:33,244 Oh. Scuse me. 11 00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:40,881 Fire torpedoes! 12 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,756 Torpedoes are jammed in the tubes, sir. We can't get 'em to move. 13 00:00:43,828 --> 00:00:46,319 Oh, phooey! 14 00:00:46,397 --> 00:00:49,764 Well, it looks like I'm gonna have to guide this one in myself, men. 15 00:00:49,834 --> 00:00:52,268 I'm going down in the hole. 16 00:00:52,337 --> 00:00:54,328 Scuse me. 17 00:01:00,011 --> 00:01:05,347 Here I come, you Nazi bastards. Whee! 18 00:01:07,852 --> 00:01:08,910 - How you livin'? - What? 19 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,044 - How you livin'? - What? 20 00:01:10,121 --> 00:01:12,487 - How you livin'? - ♪ In living color♪ 21 00:01:12,557 --> 00:01:16,550 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 22 00:01:16,627 --> 00:01:20,961 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 23 00:01:21,032 --> 00:01:24,593 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 24 00:01:24,669 --> 00:01:29,436 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 25 00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:31,498 ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪ 26 00:01:31,576 --> 00:01:33,737 ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪ 27 00:01:33,811 --> 00:01:36,609 ♪ Here comes another one of those funky, funny mo'money shows ♪ 28 00:01:36,681 --> 00:01:38,205 ♪ A cast for laughs and talented roles ♪ 29 00:01:38,282 --> 00:01:40,341 ♪ And sisters with twisters for you been lookin', listener♪ 30 00:01:40,418 --> 00:01:42,545 ♪ It seems you don't believe so you can believe what I convince ya ♪ 31 00:01:42,620 --> 00:01:44,611 ♪ Some booty to your short and thought We'll make it snappy ♪ 32 00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:47,089 ♪ With jokes and pokes at folks to keep you happy ♪ 33 00:01:47,158 --> 00:01:49,592 ♪ No need to hold your remote control ♪ 34 00:01:49,660 --> 00:01:51,025 ♪ Chill This show's got soul ♪ 35 00:01:51,095 --> 00:01:53,325 ♪ All aboard, all aboard The train never troubles ♪ 36 00:01:53,398 --> 00:01:54,831 ♪ You'd better snuggle up couple up ♪ 37 00:01:54,899 --> 00:01:56,696 - ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 38 00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:59,794 ♪ It's hard to believe but some of the best things in life are free ♪ 39 00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:01,896 ♪ So, fellas, grab your girl Tell her that you love her♪ 40 00:02:01,973 --> 00:02:04,305 ♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin' when you're livin'in living color♪ 41 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:07,367 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 42 00:02:07,445 --> 00:02:09,572 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪♪ 43 00:02:15,453 --> 00:02:18,217 Hi. I'm Chris Connelly from MTV's The Big Picture. 44 00:02:18,289 --> 00:02:22,749 You know, every once in a while, people come along who elevate their profession to a new level. 45 00:02:22,827 --> 00:02:26,627 Basketball has MichaelJordan, hair extension has Michael Bolton... 46 00:02:26,697 --> 00:02:30,326 and in the field of movie reviewing, well, we've got Blayne and Antoine. 47 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:33,734 Blayne and Antoine's rise to stardom has been truly phenomenal. 48 00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,796 After creating a base of popularity... 49 00:02:35,873 --> 00:02:38,171 and straining against the bounds of good taste... 50 00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:40,972 Blayne and Antoine finally burst on the TV public... 51 00:02:41,045 --> 00:02:45,709 exploding on the scene with a shower of hot picks and witty criticism. 52 00:02:45,783 --> 00:02:49,844 And may I add on a personal note, they've taught me a few things about myself... 53 00:02:49,921 --> 00:02:53,015 some of which, frankly, I'm not sure I wanted to know. 54 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:56,526 But I thank them anyway. Check these guys out. 55 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:59,324 ♪♪ [Women Singing: Disco] 56 00:02:59,397 --> 00:03:03,561 [Man] Cable access channel 62 presents Men On Film. 57 00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:15,873 - Hello. I'm Blayne Edwards. - And I'm Antoine Merrywether. 58 00:03:15,947 --> 00:03:18,438 [Together] And welcome to Men On Films. 59 00:03:18,516 --> 00:03:22,612 - The show that looks at movies... - From a male point of view. 60 00:03:22,687 --> 00:03:25,087 Tonight's show is sponsored by... 61 00:03:33,231 --> 00:03:35,222 Nuts & Honey. 62 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,564 - What'd you say? - "Nuttin'," honey. 63 00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:41,298 I bet you can't eat just one. 64 00:03:41,372 --> 00:03:43,567 I bet I could. 65 00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:46,201 You're so crazy. 66 00:03:46,277 --> 00:03:48,302 [Giggling] 67 00:03:48,379 --> 00:03:50,870 Tonight we'll be wrapping up the summer films. 68 00:03:50,948 --> 00:03:53,974 First up is the box-office smash Total Recall. 69 00:03:54,051 --> 00:03:57,316 Yes, this is the movie where muscle-bound Arnold Schwarzenegger... 70 00:03:57,388 --> 00:03:59,447 goes in search of his past. 71 00:03:59,524 --> 00:04:01,856 Just a hint, Arnold. Try looking in the closet. 72 00:04:01,926 --> 00:04:03,917 [Snickers] 73 00:04:03,995 --> 00:04:06,828 Next we have Betsy's Wedding. 74 00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:09,526 [Together] Hated it. 75 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,534 Then there's Ghost. 76 00:04:11,602 --> 00:04:15,060 You know, Patrick Swayze was the real standout in this film. 77 00:04:15,139 --> 00:04:18,597 You know, I'd breathe life into his spirit any day... 78 00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:21,770 even if I did have to go through Whoopi Goldberg. 79 00:04:23,414 --> 00:04:26,076 - Perish the thought. - Yes, indeed. 80 00:04:26,150 --> 00:04:28,084 Now we come to Dick Tracy. 81 00:04:28,152 --> 00:04:31,451 You know, I love the title, but the movie just left me limp. 82 00:04:33,658 --> 00:04:36,650 I know what you're saying. This is... This is what I don't get. 83 00:04:36,727 --> 00:04:40,561 All the characters fit their names. You know, Flattop had a flattop. 84 00:04:40,631 --> 00:04:43,225 Pruneface looked just like a little prune. 85 00:04:43,301 --> 00:04:45,861 But I never got the chance to see... [Mouthing Words] 86 00:04:46,871 --> 00:04:48,896 I know I wanted to. 87 00:04:50,975 --> 00:04:52,966 What's wrong with you? 88 00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:57,370 It's hot in here. 89 00:05:00,151 --> 00:05:03,018 Oh. Then there's Pretty Woman. 90 00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:06,056 [Together] Hated it. 91 00:05:06,123 --> 00:05:10,753 - This one should have been called A Fish Called Julia. - Ooh. 92 00:05:10,828 --> 00:05:14,958 Next, Eddie Murphy was back in Another 48 Hours. 93 00:05:15,032 --> 00:05:18,399 You know, I'm sorry. This movie just got off on the wrong track. 94 00:05:18,469 --> 00:05:21,461 I feel that they should have spent more time where the real story is. 95 00:05:21,539 --> 00:05:23,473 - Mm-hmm. - In the prisons. 96 00:05:23,541 --> 00:05:28,478 I'd like to see more about them old sweaty mens all together in them tiny little cells... 97 00:05:28,546 --> 00:05:31,174 with no one to turn to but each others. 98 00:05:33,651 --> 00:05:35,915 Ooh, drop the soap. I'll get it. 99 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,750 Hush. 100 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,934 - Really? - You know I can wait. 101 00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:55,439 Then we come to Spike Lee's Mo'Better Blues. 102 00:05:55,506 --> 00:05:58,737 I'm sorry. I didn't care for it. It just didn't put no toot in my horn. 103 00:05:59,744 --> 00:06:01,735 I'm sorry, but I liked this one. 104 00:06:01,812 --> 00:06:05,509 I mean, little Spike Lee outdone himself this time. 105 00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:08,245 He really stretched out in a dual role... 106 00:06:08,319 --> 00:06:12,449 as both the lead character's manager and love interest. 107 00:06:12,523 --> 00:06:14,457 Oh, he was okay as the manager... 108 00:06:14,525 --> 00:06:17,688 but, ooh, he just thrilled me to death in those gripping love scenes... 109 00:06:17,762 --> 00:06:21,289 with big old handsome Denzel Washingtons. 110 00:06:21,365 --> 00:06:25,199 What courage it must have taken for little Spike Lee to take off them glasses... 111 00:06:25,269 --> 00:06:27,635 and let that little hair get knotty and say... 112 00:06:27,705 --> 00:06:33,166 "Hey, this is me. Here I am. See me, love me." 113 00:06:34,245 --> 00:06:37,681 Hello! Put the car in park. 114 00:06:37,748 --> 00:06:41,878 The love interest was played by Spike Lee's little sister, Joie. 115 00:06:41,952 --> 00:06:44,887 Well, touch me in the morning and then just walk away. 116 00:06:55,866 --> 00:06:59,358 I don't know. I think you should go see this again. Then you tell me who's who. 117 00:06:59,437 --> 00:07:03,237 - Yeah, well, you can go without me. - 'Toine. 118 00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:06,837 Don't get mad. 119 00:07:06,911 --> 00:07:08,936 - 'Toine. - Okay. 120 00:07:13,384 --> 00:07:17,548 Finally, we have Die Harder. What a way to go! 121 00:07:17,621 --> 00:07:20,215 Ninety minutes with Mr. Bruce Willis. 122 00:07:20,291 --> 00:07:23,590 Oh, yes. Don't tempt my tummy with the taste of Nuts & Honey. 123 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,023 Crazy. 124 00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:31,330 You know, the only thing I didn't understand was all the violence in the film... 125 00:07:31,402 --> 00:07:33,563 'cause the title suggested a love story. 126 00:07:33,637 --> 00:07:36,572 Mm-hmm. I second that emotion. 127 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,939 I think this one still deserves the new and improved... 128 00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:44,242 [Together] Two snaps, a twist and a kiss. 129 00:07:44,315 --> 00:07:47,045 Stop. Can't touch this. 130 00:07:49,186 --> 00:07:51,120 Well, that's our show. 131 00:07:51,188 --> 00:07:54,783 Next week, we'll be looking at Air America, starring Mel Gibson... 132 00:07:54,859 --> 00:07:56,793 and little Robert DowneyJrs. 133 00:07:56,861 --> 00:08:00,024 - Pilot to copilot, we're going down in flames. - [Giggles] 134 00:08:00,097 --> 00:08:02,031 [Together] Bye now. 135 00:08:02,099 --> 00:08:05,296 ♪♪ [Women Singing: Disco] 136 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,578 ♪♪ [Fades] 137 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:18,616 I'm Jeffrey Lyons of CNBC and also Sneak Previews. 138 00:08:18,683 --> 00:08:21,174 There have been many cliffhangers in television history. 139 00:08:21,252 --> 00:08:24,346 Who shotJ.R., for example? Who fathered Murphy's baby? 140 00:08:24,422 --> 00:08:27,414 And more recently, who fed Delta Burke? 141 00:08:27,492 --> 00:08:32,486 Well, we're gonna look now at one of my favorite cliffhangers of all time. Just watch. 142 00:08:32,564 --> 00:08:34,498 Tell a friend, child. 143 00:08:34,566 --> 00:08:36,693 [Yelping] 144 00:08:36,768 --> 00:08:38,759 Oh, my Lord. 145 00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:47,102 Blayne! Blayne! 146 00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:49,874 Blayne! Call a doctor... 147 00:08:49,948 --> 00:08:53,440 'cause I think he needs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 148 00:08:53,518 --> 00:08:56,419 Hey, hey, hey, man. Hey! 149 00:08:57,589 --> 00:08:59,955 Man, what you doin', man? 150 00:09:00,024 --> 00:09:03,221 - Blayne? Blayne, are you okay? - Yeah, I'm all right. 151 00:09:03,294 --> 00:09:06,320 What's up with you? What's... What's these funny clothes about, man? 152 00:09:07,565 --> 00:09:09,931 - Let's finish the show. Finish the show. - Okay. 153 00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:12,993 [Clears Throat] Finally... 154 00:09:13,071 --> 00:09:16,734 we come to that sly Fox of a network... 155 00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:19,675 and their show Married with Children. 156 00:09:19,744 --> 00:09:22,577 - Loved it. - Hated it. 157 00:09:22,647 --> 00:09:25,707 What you talkin' about, "Hated it," man? That girl is fine. The blonde one? 158 00:09:25,784 --> 00:09:30,414 With the... The blonde? Look like she hidin' two midgets, man. 159 00:09:32,824 --> 00:09:36,419 Blonde? Midget? [Yelps] 160 00:09:43,268 --> 00:09:47,261 [Man] Cable access channel 96 presents Men On Film. 161 00:09:52,844 --> 00:09:56,245 - Hello. I'm Blayne Edwards. - And I'm Antoine Merrywether. 162 00:09:56,314 --> 00:09:58,305 [Together] And welcome to Men On Film. 163 00:09:58,383 --> 00:10:01,011 The show that looks at movies from a guy's point of view. 164 00:10:01,085 --> 00:10:03,246 Uh, you mean, from a male point of view. 165 00:10:03,321 --> 00:10:05,755 Yeah, males are guys... a guy's point of view. 166 00:10:05,824 --> 00:10:08,622 Huh. Heh! We have a new sponsor. 167 00:10:08,693 --> 00:10:10,627 Gaytorade. 168 00:10:10,695 --> 00:10:13,596 It's for that deep-down body thirst. 169 00:10:13,665 --> 00:10:16,759 Now packed to the brim with natural protein. Mmm! 170 00:10:18,403 --> 00:10:20,598 Tonight we're gonna look at summer blockbusters. 171 00:10:20,672 --> 00:10:22,902 Our first film up is City Slickers. 172 00:10:22,974 --> 00:10:26,000 Oh, this is a film about little Billy Crystal... 173 00:10:26,077 --> 00:10:28,637 who finds the real man inside of him... 174 00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:31,978 by going west and putting on some of those leather chaps... 175 00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:34,348 and joining in a cattle drive. 176 00:10:34,419 --> 00:10:38,583 I love this film, all that dust and perspiration. 177 00:10:38,656 --> 00:10:41,682 I got saddle sore just watching it. You want to see? 178 00:10:41,759 --> 00:10:45,718 No. Um... [Chuckles] I didn't really pay much attention... 179 00:10:45,797 --> 00:10:48,960 'cause once they started with the cows and stuff, I just got into my girl. 180 00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:54,027 I had this young lady with me. We's, like, mackin' it out and stuff, man. [Laughs] 181 00:10:54,105 --> 00:10:56,096 Everybody got what they wanted. 182 00:10:56,174 --> 00:10:59,371 Billy even got to take home that little calf, Norman. 183 00:10:59,444 --> 00:11:02,641 Yeah, I bet they had veal chops that night. [Laughing] 184 00:11:02,714 --> 00:11:05,444 - Veal... They killed... The burger... - Oh, just hush. 185 00:11:05,517 --> 00:11:07,917 I could just spank you with a cat-o'-nine-tails. 186 00:11:09,654 --> 00:11:11,588 - Oh, look! There goes Charo. - Where? 187 00:11:11,656 --> 00:11:13,283 - Keep looking. - Where? 188 00:11:13,358 --> 00:11:15,292 - Keep looking. - Where? 189 00:11:16,961 --> 00:11:18,952 Hello in there! 190 00:11:20,532 --> 00:11:23,057 - I'm sorry. - Don't do that again. 191 00:11:23,134 --> 00:11:25,364 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 192 00:11:25,436 --> 00:11:27,836 I thought there was a stinkbug on your head. 193 00:11:31,409 --> 00:11:33,707 I'm warning you, Tony. Don't do that again, man. 194 00:11:37,248 --> 00:11:39,478 Next up, Truth or Dare. 195 00:11:39,551 --> 00:11:42,418 Oh, Madonna's tour documentary. 196 00:11:42,487 --> 00:11:45,718 My coif for vous, Madonna. 197 00:11:47,258 --> 00:11:49,351 I loved this one. 198 00:11:49,427 --> 00:11:54,524 I could've spent all night watching those fabulously interesting dancers. 199 00:11:54,599 --> 00:11:58,433 Whether to point your toe, don't point your toe, who knows? 200 00:11:58,503 --> 00:12:01,336 - I haven't had that much fun since the opening... - [Snorting] 201 00:12:01,406 --> 00:12:03,601 Of Paris is Burning. 202 00:12:03,675 --> 00:12:08,271 And that little Oliver. You know, the Negroid with the blond hair? 203 00:12:10,315 --> 00:12:14,012 Oh. He was riveting. He was riveting. 204 00:12:14,085 --> 00:12:16,178 But there's one thing... Excuse me? 205 00:12:16,254 --> 00:12:19,917 Why don't you just cut free, Oliver, and admit who you are? 206 00:12:19,991 --> 00:12:22,050 Oliver, I dare you! 207 00:12:22,126 --> 00:12:26,062 Tell the truth. ¿Es verdad? 208 00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:30,533 - What's "¿Es verdad?" - That's Spanish for "Isn't it the truth?" 209 00:12:30,602 --> 00:12:34,663 - You know, I'm bi... lingual. - Uh-huh. 210 00:12:44,182 --> 00:12:47,310 Well, I didn't look at Oliver much... 211 00:12:47,385 --> 00:12:49,853 but I think Madonna is pretty hot. 212 00:12:49,921 --> 00:12:55,052 And, um, I don't know. I could forget Truth or Dare. I wanna see her play spin the bottle. 213 00:12:55,126 --> 00:12:57,686 You seen the way she wrapped her lips around that bottle, man? 214 00:12:57,762 --> 00:13:00,629 Yo, she can pop my bottle anytime. 215 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,566 Hello in there. 216 00:13:04,636 --> 00:13:07,628 - That's it, man. I'm gonna bust your ass. - Oh! 217 00:13:07,705 --> 00:13:11,266 Wait a minute. I thought there was a daddy longlegs on your head. 218 00:13:11,342 --> 00:13:13,640 Scuse me. [Chuckles] 219 00:13:13,711 --> 00:13:17,010 That's it, man. You want a piece of me? Come on. Go for it. Give me your best shot. 220 00:13:17,081 --> 00:13:20,016 - Give me your best shot. Come on. - [Gasps] 221 00:13:28,726 --> 00:13:30,717 [Crying] 222 00:13:37,068 --> 00:13:39,400 - Blayne? - Tony! 223 00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,734 Blayne! 224 00:13:41,806 --> 00:13:44,604 [Yelping] 225 00:13:44,676 --> 00:13:47,440 - I'm free! I'm free! - He's back! 226 00:13:47,512 --> 00:13:49,878 Come on! You remember the crew! 227 00:13:49,947 --> 00:13:54,145 - He's back! - Oh! Hi, Eric and Troy! 228 00:13:54,218 --> 00:13:56,948 Join us next week when we'll be reviewing Terminator 2... 229 00:13:57,021 --> 00:13:59,387 starring muscle-bound Arnold Schwarzenegger. 230 00:14:01,693 --> 00:14:04,856 If this man is the man of the future, wrap me up, freeze me... 231 00:14:04,929 --> 00:14:08,023 and pack me in liquid steel. 232 00:14:08,099 --> 00:14:12,934 We're celebrating Blayne's return with a new and improved T2 snap. 233 00:14:14,706 --> 00:14:17,903 ♪♪ [Women Singing: Disco] 234 00:14:25,883 --> 00:14:27,612 ♪♪ [Fades] 235 00:14:28,686 --> 00:14:31,120 Hello. I'm Michael Medved, cohost of Sneak Previews... 236 00:14:31,189 --> 00:14:33,817 and being a movie critic, of course you have to be very picky about... 237 00:14:33,891 --> 00:14:35,882 who you want sponsoring your show. 238 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,554 You want to be sure that it's a product that you believe in... 239 00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:42,963 a product which the public would actually envision you using on a regular basis. 240 00:14:43,034 --> 00:14:46,629 And Blayne and Antoine obviously took all of this into consideration... 241 00:14:46,704 --> 00:14:48,831 when selecting their sponsors. 242 00:14:48,906 --> 00:14:50,965 Just take a look. 243 00:14:51,042 --> 00:14:53,704 Tonight's broadcast is brought to you by... 244 00:14:53,778 --> 00:14:56,474 Bend-Gay. 245 00:15:04,055 --> 00:15:06,182 I ain't gonna touch it. 246 00:15:07,492 --> 00:15:09,756 - Ben did. - Stop. 247 00:15:09,827 --> 00:15:13,422 This show is brought to you by Wang. 248 00:15:15,399 --> 00:15:17,390 - Don't they make computers? - Mm-hmm. 249 00:15:17,468 --> 00:15:20,904 Wait a minute. We got a new sponsor. 250 00:15:20,972 --> 00:15:23,372 Somebody better check their mail. 251 00:15:32,283 --> 00:15:34,444 Tonight's broadcast is brought to you by... 252 00:15:34,519 --> 00:15:36,510 Jewels... 253 00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:39,818 the gum that explodes in your mouth. 254 00:15:41,192 --> 00:15:43,717 I bet you just can't chew one. 255 00:15:43,795 --> 00:15:46,559 And who'd want to? 256 00:15:46,631 --> 00:15:49,191 Do you know we have a new sponsor? 257 00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:51,258 Wilson Sporting Goods... 258 00:15:51,335 --> 00:15:54,202 the official balls of the NFL. 259 00:15:55,907 --> 00:15:57,898 I ain't said a word. 260 00:15:57,975 --> 00:16:02,537 Today's show is brought to you by our brand-new sponsor, Dairy Queen. 261 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,740 I scream. You scream. We all scream... 262 00:16:04,816 --> 00:16:07,307 - down at the Dairy Queen. - [Screams] 263 00:16:07,385 --> 00:16:10,354 Today's show is brought to you by... 264 00:16:10,421 --> 00:16:12,412 - Mr. Gulp. - Mm-hmm. 265 00:16:12,490 --> 00:16:15,823 - The ultimate protein shake. - Mm-hmm. 266 00:16:15,893 --> 00:16:19,056 It's the second-highest source of protein around. 267 00:16:19,130 --> 00:16:21,291 But it tastes just like the first. 268 00:16:21,365 --> 00:16:23,299 Mm-hmm. 269 00:16:25,002 --> 00:16:27,994 You know, we're all familiar with the famous Siskel and Ebert thumbs-up. 270 00:16:28,072 --> 00:16:31,906 Other critics use a star system, and some rate movies on a scale of one to 10... 271 00:16:31,976 --> 00:16:34,968 but no one does it better than Blayne and 'Toine. 272 00:16:35,046 --> 00:16:37,708 The title alone gets two snaps up. 273 00:16:40,518 --> 00:16:43,783 We gonna have to give this one two snaps up in a circle. 274 00:16:46,224 --> 00:16:50,092 This book gets the yet unheard-of Zorro snap. 275 00:16:50,161 --> 00:16:52,152 In "Z" formation. 276 00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:57,897 To sum up our little European vacation... 277 00:16:57,969 --> 00:17:00,836 we're gonna have to give the whole trip a new and improved... 278 00:17:00,905 --> 00:17:03,897 around-the-world-and-back snap. 279 00:17:06,043 --> 00:17:08,910 We'd like to salute all the mens playing the Super Bowl... 280 00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:11,574 with our special Super Bowl snap. 281 00:17:11,649 --> 00:17:16,313 [Together] Two snaps and your backfield in motion. 282 00:17:16,387 --> 00:17:20,721 It's time to give this meal a very special Chef Boyardee snap. 283 00:17:20,791 --> 00:17:23,783 [Together] Two snaps, and wipe your mouth. 284 00:17:25,463 --> 00:17:27,454 I think this workout deserves... 285 00:17:27,531 --> 00:17:32,059 [Together] Two snaps and a pelvic thrust. 286 00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:34,127 ♪♪ [Women Singing: Disco] 287 00:17:34,205 --> 00:17:37,470 [Man] Public access channel 96 presents Men On Film. 288 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:47,946 - Hello. I'm Blayne Edwards. - And I'm Antoine Merrywether. 289 00:17:48,019 --> 00:17:50,681 [Together] And welcome to Men On Films. 290 00:17:50,755 --> 00:17:53,690 Tonight, we have a brand-new sponsor... 291 00:17:53,758 --> 00:17:55,851 Ballpark Phranks. 292 00:17:55,927 --> 00:17:58,259 They plump when you heat 'em. 293 00:17:58,329 --> 00:18:01,093 - I'll bet they do. - [Chuckles] 294 00:18:01,165 --> 00:18:03,793 They almost can't fit into the bun. 295 00:18:03,868 --> 00:18:07,304 This week, we're going to answer some of our critics... 296 00:18:07,371 --> 00:18:12,399 who say we can criticize films, but we don't know how to actually make cinema. 297 00:18:12,476 --> 00:18:15,377 The truth is, we've been making a lot of films over the years. 298 00:18:15,446 --> 00:18:19,974 Mm-hmm. But tonight, we're gonna focus on our feature films. 299 00:18:20,051 --> 00:18:22,781 So sit back, relax and enjoy this: 300 00:18:22,853 --> 00:18:26,345 The first Men on Film festival. 301 00:18:26,424 --> 00:18:28,892 This show is all about us. 302 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,190 ♪ It's my turn ♪ 303 00:18:35,232 --> 00:18:39,100 We begin with a Western picture called The Magnificent Nine. 304 00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:44,267 Now, this wonderful flick starred Blayne in the title role... 305 00:18:44,342 --> 00:18:49,370 and I have to say, Blayne, you just exploded onto screen. 306 00:18:49,447 --> 00:18:51,472 Kudos! 307 00:18:51,549 --> 00:18:55,815 Let's take a look at an exciting scene from The Magnificent Nine. 308 00:18:55,886 --> 00:18:58,047 ♪♪ [Piano] 309 00:19:03,294 --> 00:19:05,660 ♪♪ [Piano Continues] 310 00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:07,994 Supposed to wear it to the side. 311 00:19:11,102 --> 00:19:14,629 Bartender, I want something stiff to drink. 312 00:19:14,705 --> 00:19:16,832 Jack Daniel's? 313 00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:19,501 He look anything like you? 314 00:19:32,023 --> 00:19:34,184 ♪♪ [Humming] 315 00:19:37,294 --> 00:19:39,854 Say, I'm lookin' for Butch. 316 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:43,889 - ♪♪ [Piano Stops] - I'm Butch. Who's lookin' for me? 317 00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:53,836 Well, if it isn'tJohnny Ringo. 318 00:19:55,513 --> 00:19:58,710 That's a mighty big piece of steel you got strapped to your leg. 319 00:20:02,686 --> 00:20:06,213 This town's not big enough for both of us, Ringo. 320 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,918 I'm ridin' you all the way back to Frisco. 321 00:20:08,993 --> 00:20:12,121 Go ahead. Make my day. 322 00:20:12,196 --> 00:20:14,926 - Come to Mama, girl. - [Squeals] 323 00:20:14,999 --> 00:20:18,662 Butch, I missed you so much. I ain't seen you since the barn dance. 324 00:20:18,736 --> 00:20:21,068 What happened to you? You left your spurs over at my house. 325 00:20:21,138 --> 00:20:23,663 How did you get out of the handcuffs, girl? 326 00:20:25,743 --> 00:20:27,904 Oh, well. That brings us to our most recent... 327 00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:31,812 and I must say our most successful colaboración... 328 00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:35,818 the boxing classic, Kid Fist. 329 00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:38,411 - [Rings] - I think he likes me. 330 00:20:38,489 --> 00:20:40,480 Hey, let go of me, muchacho. 331 00:20:40,558 --> 00:20:43,527 - [Man] Come on. - Go, Fist, go. Go! 332 00:20:43,594 --> 00:20:46,961 Hold still. Boink! 333 00:20:47,031 --> 00:20:49,795 - I hope that hurt, beast. - [Bell Rings] 334 00:20:51,535 --> 00:20:54,368 - Yea, Fist! - Thank you. 335 00:20:54,438 --> 00:20:58,033 Hold the rope, girl. Ooh. Ah. 336 00:20:58,109 --> 00:21:00,407 Aw, geez, he's good. 337 00:21:00,478 --> 00:21:03,970 All that Latin blood just pulsing away in him. And he's cute. 338 00:21:04,048 --> 00:21:08,144 - Maybe I should do a couple of rounds. - Come back here. 339 00:21:10,087 --> 00:21:14,547 - Don't swallow. - I never do. 340 00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:16,650 Oh, look at my eye. It's all puffy. 341 00:21:16,727 --> 00:21:20,891 - I know. I could fix it with a little Vaseline. - Oh, I've heard that before. 342 00:21:20,965 --> 00:21:23,365 - [Bell Rings] - Listen, if he hits you again, you tie him up. 343 00:21:23,434 --> 00:21:25,368 Okay. I don't think he's into that. 344 00:21:25,436 --> 00:21:28,132 Yoo-hoo, Pedro. 345 00:21:28,205 --> 00:21:34,166 Let's give Kid Fist the new Men on Film patented festival flamenco snap. 346 00:21:34,245 --> 00:21:37,305 Olé! [Chuckles] 347 00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:41,181 Well, I think this should put to rest all that carping and caterwauling... 348 00:21:41,252 --> 00:21:45,052 about who can and who cannot make movies around here. 349 00:21:45,122 --> 00:21:47,113 Join us next week when we take a look... 350 00:21:47,191 --> 00:21:49,489 at a new Christmas film, The Last Boy Scouts. 351 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:53,189 Mm-hmm. Zip up your sleeping bags, 'cause it's gonna be a bumpy night. 352 00:21:53,264 --> 00:21:55,630 - I hope so. - Good night, everyone. 353 00:21:57,301 --> 00:22:00,498 ♪♪ [Women Singing: Disco] 354 00:22:06,277 --> 00:22:11,977 ♪♪ [Continues] 355 00:22:57,361 --> 00:22:59,454 ♪♪ [Ends] 30004

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