All language subtitles for In Living Color s03e20 - DVDrip.Xvid.mp3

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,619 --> 00:00:04,087 Hi! I'm Kathie Lee Gifford. 2 00:00:04,155 --> 00:00:08,148 If you're a busy person like me, you'd love that deep, dark Saint-Tropez tan... 3 00:00:08,226 --> 00:00:12,128 but you just don't have the three to four weeks to lie in the sun and get it. 4 00:00:12,196 --> 00:00:14,130 Well, here's the good news. 5 00:00:14,198 --> 00:00:18,726 Now nature's loss is your gain at fast-tanning Club Ozone. 6 00:00:18,803 --> 00:00:22,432 ♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da ♪ If my friends could see me now! 7 00:00:22,507 --> 00:00:24,998 Of course, my friends probably can't see me... 8 00:00:25,076 --> 00:00:28,068 because their retinas have been burnt to a crisp. 9 00:00:28,146 --> 00:00:31,775 We've peeled back the Earth's stratosphere here at Club Ozone... 10 00:00:31,849 --> 00:00:34,511 so you can get the deep, dark tan you want... 11 00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:36,678 in just 15 minutes. 12 00:00:36,754 --> 00:00:41,748 And our patented plumpers tell you when you're done. 13 00:00:41,826 --> 00:00:46,058 Our special aerosol tanning oil not only burns you to the bone... 14 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:50,157 but also helps burn away that unwanted ozone layer. 15 00:00:50,234 --> 00:00:55,297 Oops. Looks like this one got a little overdone. [Laughing] 16 00:00:55,373 --> 00:00:58,171 [Man] Hi. I'm a busy executive. 17 00:00:58,242 --> 00:01:00,836 You know, in just 15 minutes at Club Ozone... 18 00:01:00,912 --> 00:01:03,540 I got such a deep, deep tan... 19 00:01:03,614 --> 00:01:07,106 that when I went home, I got pulled over by the police twice... 20 00:01:07,185 --> 00:01:09,676 and the bank even recalled my loan. 21 00:01:09,754 --> 00:01:11,688 And it's my bank! 22 00:01:11,756 --> 00:01:15,351 Now, that's what I call a tan. 23 00:01:15,426 --> 00:01:20,363 Club Ozone. We're your fast-tanning vacation spot. 24 00:01:24,202 --> 00:01:28,696 Club Ozone, expanding soon to a location near you. 25 00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:31,697 - How you livin'? - What? 26 00:01:31,776 --> 00:01:32,868 - How you livin'? - What? 27 00:01:32,944 --> 00:01:35,071 - How you livin'? - ♪ In living color♪ 28 00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:41,645 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 29 00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:45,985 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 30 00:01:46,057 --> 00:01:49,618 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 31 00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:54,188 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 32 00:01:54,265 --> 00:01:56,893 ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪ 33 00:01:56,968 --> 00:01:59,129 ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪ 34 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:01,671 ♪ Here comes another one of those funky, funny mo'money shows ♪ 35 00:02:01,739 --> 00:02:03,263 ♪ A cast for laughs and talented roles ♪ 36 00:02:03,341 --> 00:02:05,468 ♪ And sisters with twisters for you been lookin', listener♪ 37 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:07,511 ♪ It seems you don't believe so you can believe what I convince ya ♪ 38 00:02:07,578 --> 00:02:09,603 ♪ Some booty to your short and thought We'll make it snappy ♪ 39 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,773 ♪ With jokes and pokes at folks to keep you happy ♪ 40 00:02:11,849 --> 00:02:14,044 ♪ No need to hold your remote control ♪ 41 00:02:14,118 --> 00:02:16,086 ♪ Chill This show's got soul ♪ 42 00:02:16,154 --> 00:02:18,452 ♪ All aboard, all aboard The train never troubles ♪ 43 00:02:18,523 --> 00:02:19,854 ♪ You'd better snuggle up couple up ♪ 44 00:02:19,924 --> 00:02:21,915 - ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 45 00:02:21,993 --> 00:02:24,757 ♪ It's hard to believe but some of the best things in life are free ♪ 46 00:02:24,829 --> 00:02:26,854 ♪ So, fellas, grab your girl Tell her that you love her♪ 47 00:02:26,931 --> 00:02:29,297 ♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin' when you're livin'in living color♪ 48 00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:33,895 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 49 00:02:33,971 --> 00:02:38,806 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 50 00:02:38,876 --> 00:02:42,505 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 51 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,605 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪ 52 00:02:44,682 --> 00:02:47,048 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪♪ 53 00:02:54,725 --> 00:02:56,750 Oh, yo. What's up, man? 54 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,796 Hey, man. How's it going? 55 00:02:58,863 --> 00:03:00,854 Nothin'. School's out, man. Summer vacation. 56 00:03:00,932 --> 00:03:03,423 No more teachers for the whole three months. 57 00:03:03,501 --> 00:03:06,664 - I know, and no more Mr. Macafee. - You mean Mac-a-feeble. 58 00:03:06,737 --> 00:03:10,434 - ♪♪ [Loud Tones] - All right, people. Freeze! 59 00:03:10,508 --> 00:03:14,911 No need to worry, people, 'cause Al Macafee's here. 60 00:03:14,979 --> 00:03:18,938 One of the few, the proud, the McBurger security guards. 61 00:03:19,016 --> 00:03:23,112 You know our motto: " Keep your eyes on the fries and our guns on your buns." 62 00:03:23,187 --> 00:03:26,987 Come on! I saw that, you little line crosser. Don't make me chase you. 63 00:03:27,058 --> 00:03:31,495 - Oh, man. - It's time you heard Macafee's speech on cutting line. 64 00:03:31,562 --> 00:03:34,827 Don't try doing cut-sies or I'll hang my foot in your little butt-sie. 65 00:03:34,899 --> 00:03:37,732 - With what, your Franken-foot? - Oh, oh! I heard that. 66 00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:40,737 You better curb your tongue, little man, or you'll be out on the curb. 67 00:03:40,805 --> 00:03:43,399 - Give me a break, man. - Oh, yeah, you deserve a break today. 68 00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:47,103 Right on your noggin! Now, get lost, Ziggy Marley. 69 00:03:47,178 --> 00:03:50,011 All right, troublemakers! Off the premises. 70 00:03:50,081 --> 00:03:53,073 You better mind your business, sugar foot, before I break that DuPont leg. 71 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,641 - Oh, are you a bully, son? - That's what my mother told me. 72 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:59,383 All right, son. Take a punch at a real man. Come on, boy! Oh! 73 00:04:02,994 --> 00:04:05,485 Now, you make me sick, you little rapscallion. 74 00:04:05,563 --> 00:04:07,793 I thought I told you to leave the premises. 75 00:04:07,865 --> 00:04:11,528 There are people starving, and you think it's funny playing with your food? 76 00:04:11,602 --> 00:04:13,934 - Those bullies beat me up! - Excuse me, son? Bullies? 77 00:04:14,005 --> 00:04:15,939 - Those bullies. - I don't see any bullies. 78 00:04:16,007 --> 00:04:18,703 Next thing you're gonna tell me that the Burger King himself is in the back room... 79 00:04:18,776 --> 00:04:20,710 showing all the kids his Whopper. 80 00:04:20,778 --> 00:04:23,269 Get out of here, you rat boy! 81 00:04:26,584 --> 00:04:28,745 Hey! We weren't done with that yet! 82 00:04:28,819 --> 00:04:31,481 - My retainer was in that tray! - Hold it right there, missy. 83 00:04:31,556 --> 00:04:33,888 Don't make me chase you. You want a hamburger? 84 00:04:33,958 --> 00:04:36,449 You'll march right up to the counter and pay for it. 85 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:40,019 - You threw my retainer in there. - Oh, I thought I heard that. You make me sick. 86 00:04:40,097 --> 00:04:42,861 What are you doing with a birth control device in the first place? 87 00:04:42,934 --> 00:04:47,200 You want some birth control, little lady? I'll give you birth control. 88 00:04:47,271 --> 00:04:49,739 Close your drive-through window, keep your two hands off the Whopper... 89 00:04:49,807 --> 00:04:51,968 and maybe you won't be knocked up next time. 90 00:04:52,043 --> 00:04:54,705 Now, take a hike, you little trollop, and take your pimp with you. 91 00:04:54,779 --> 00:04:58,010 Jungle fever's one thing, but that's ridiculous. 92 00:04:59,917 --> 00:05:02,715 Oh, glory be. 93 00:05:02,787 --> 00:05:05,381 Ruthie, my own special sauce. 94 00:05:05,456 --> 00:05:08,448 Guess you got yourself a Big Mac attack, didn't you, honey? 95 00:05:08,526 --> 00:05:11,324 Boy, I'd like to be a caboose on this love train. 96 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:15,126 - Hey! Stop! - Ride up on it. 97 00:05:15,199 --> 00:05:19,568 I'm just getting my lunch, and your ugly face makes me want to spit up my breakfast. 98 00:05:19,637 --> 00:05:22,629 - Oh, Ruthie, I wish I hadn't seen that. - Seen what? 99 00:05:22,707 --> 00:05:25,232 What? You stole some extra napkins. 100 00:05:25,309 --> 00:05:28,335 What else do you want? Straws, honey? I can get you all the straws you want. 101 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,346 You know I'm a security guard. 102 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:34,544 Al, did somebody knock you upside your head when you were a kid or something? 103 00:05:34,619 --> 00:05:37,850 I'm gonna let you go this time, but promise me you'll get some help. 104 00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:40,914 Like maybe I can come over to your house tonight... 105 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:44,223 show you something else to do with those hands besides the five-finger discount? 106 00:05:44,295 --> 00:05:46,229 Come on, baby. 107 00:05:46,297 --> 00:05:49,494 I'd let Ted Bundy, the Boston Strangler and Jack the Ripper give me help... 108 00:05:49,567 --> 00:05:51,501 before I'd let you near me. 109 00:05:51,569 --> 00:05:54,470 So, you're into white boys, are you? 110 00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:57,029 How 'bout giving the old Mac truck a test drive? 111 00:05:57,108 --> 00:06:00,271 You know what I say. Don't start the engine if you're not gonna drive it. 112 00:06:00,344 --> 00:06:02,278 Doorbell! Ow! 113 00:06:03,981 --> 00:06:06,040 I won, I won! I won $10,000! 114 00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:10,110 All right. Hold it right there, Urkel. Let me see this thing. 115 00:06:10,187 --> 00:06:12,678 What are you doing gambling at your age, son? 116 00:06:12,757 --> 00:06:15,317 It's not gambling. It's a scratch-off game card, Mr. Macafee. 117 00:06:15,393 --> 00:06:18,328 Scratch-and-sniff card, son? [Snorting] I don't smell anything. 118 00:06:18,396 --> 00:06:21,797 It's a game card, and I'm gonna use the money to put towards my tuition. 119 00:06:21,866 --> 00:06:25,131 My father never went to college, and his father never went to college either. 120 00:06:25,202 --> 00:06:28,365 It's no reason none of you went to college. You're a family full of knuckleheads! 121 00:06:28,439 --> 00:06:30,464 - Mr. Macafee... - Let me tell you something. 122 00:06:30,541 --> 00:06:33,305 That's reason enough not to get into gambling. Let me tell you something. 123 00:06:33,377 --> 00:06:37,279 One day it's game cards, and the next you're a bagman for the damn mob. 124 00:06:37,348 --> 00:06:39,839 - [Sniffling] - Let me give you Mr. Macafee's speech on gambling. 125 00:06:39,917 --> 00:06:44,547 Son, don't rely on Lady Luck 'cause she's nothing but a tramp. 126 00:06:44,622 --> 00:06:46,556 Now get lost. 127 00:06:46,624 --> 00:06:50,116 Yeah, I think I told him who's in charge here. Al Macafee, that's who. 128 00:06:50,194 --> 00:06:52,526 Excuse me. 129 00:06:52,596 --> 00:06:55,258 - Did I just hear you say you're in charge here? - You got it, bucko. 130 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:58,324 Uh-uh. And you're just the only security guard for the entire restaurant? 131 00:06:58,402 --> 00:07:00,336 Betcha by golly wow! 132 00:07:00,404 --> 00:07:02,895 - You got one of them big old guns? - No, sirree de bobblewinkles. 133 00:07:02,973 --> 00:07:05,703 Just 21 years of jujitsu and my little can of mace. 134 00:07:05,776 --> 00:07:08,768 Yeah, I got two years in the pen and six bullets. 135 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:11,713 - Oh, God. Oh, God! - We're being robbed! 136 00:07:11,782 --> 00:07:15,718 - [Screaming] - Maybe you heard Macafee's speech on cooperation? 137 00:07:15,786 --> 00:07:18,277 Ask me once, and I'll do it twice. 138 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:21,051 Shut up. Empty the registers. Come on. 139 00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:24,617 I'd like to move faster, son, but I've got a bum leg. 140 00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:34,129 - ♪♪ [Dance] - [Grunting] 141 00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:36,139 Hello, everyone! 142 00:07:36,207 --> 00:07:38,368 I'm Richard Simmons... 143 00:07:38,442 --> 00:07:41,605 and I've spent a lot of time and made a lot of money... 144 00:07:41,679 --> 00:07:46,173 making overweight people cry on all my annoying diet shows. 145 00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:49,014 And now I'm back with a brand-new diet plan. 146 00:07:49,086 --> 00:07:53,216 But first, I'd like you to meet someone who's really special... 147 00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:57,283 a real inspiration, Amoeba Standstill. 148 00:07:57,361 --> 00:07:59,727 Wait till you see this one! 149 00:08:00,798 --> 00:08:02,698 Amoeba, how are you? 150 00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:07,568 Hi, Richard. Hello, everyone. You know, Richard... 151 00:08:07,638 --> 00:08:10,072 - [Grunting] - It's okay, Amoeba. Rest your neck. 152 00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:12,939 She tries so hard.! 153 00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:17,071 Richard, before I joined your new Shed A Bed Diet Program... 154 00:08:17,148 --> 00:08:19,708 all I used to do was think about food. 155 00:08:19,784 --> 00:08:23,083 I mean, after sex, my husband would go smoke a cigarette... 156 00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:25,588 and I'd smoke a ham. 157 00:08:25,656 --> 00:08:29,148 Your husband had sex with you? Ewww! 158 00:08:29,226 --> 00:08:31,160 What a guy. 159 00:08:31,228 --> 00:08:33,321 And I was on top. 160 00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:37,231 Richard, I've dropped from a king-size to a queen-size bed. 161 00:08:37,301 --> 00:08:39,963 My goal is to be in a full-size bed by the end of the year... 162 00:08:40,037 --> 00:08:42,335 and I know I can do it, I know I can! 163 00:08:42,406 --> 00:08:45,637 - I know you can too, Amoeba! - [Screaming] 164 00:08:45,709 --> 00:08:48,701 But listen, honey, you're gonna have to start crying soon. 165 00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:51,247 We're running out of time. 166 00:08:51,315 --> 00:08:53,875 - ♪♪ [Piano] - Just once... 167 00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:57,318 I'd like to have gone to the beach for a swim... 168 00:08:57,388 --> 00:09:01,654 without having Japanese fishermen trying to harpoon me. 169 00:09:01,725 --> 00:09:03,955 Can you blame them? 170 00:09:04,028 --> 00:09:06,292 But now that I'm dieting... 171 00:09:06,363 --> 00:09:09,855 I can visualize myself lying on a tropical beach... 172 00:09:09,934 --> 00:09:13,335 the sun beating down on me, shimmering in simsim oil... 173 00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:16,396 with a thong bikini just stuck up my behind. 174 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,135 Eww! What is this? 175 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:22,407 This looks like what David slew Goliath with. 176 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,413 [Imitates Slinging] 177 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:28,247 The weight wasn't just a problem for me, but for my family as well. 178 00:09:28,319 --> 00:09:30,810 I guess you can say I owe a lot to my husband... 179 00:09:30,888 --> 00:09:33,721 who I thought deserted me in 1982. 180 00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:38,160 But after I lost 200 pounds, I found him... 181 00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:41,027 right under my armpit! 182 00:09:41,098 --> 00:09:44,898 I bet he cried when the search party gave up! 183 00:09:44,969 --> 00:09:47,062 All we can say is... 184 00:09:47,137 --> 00:09:50,368 [Both] Thank you, Shed A Bed Diet Program! 185 00:09:50,441 --> 00:09:52,238 And thank you, Richard. 186 00:09:52,309 --> 00:09:55,608 Well, that's Amoeba's story. 187 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,079 Shed A Bed Diet Program. 188 00:09:58,148 --> 00:10:01,948 Take it one ton at a time! 189 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:05,955 Come on, stud. I'm wearing licorice bikinis tonight. 190 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,184 Sorry. I ate the bra already. 191 00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,193 - Girl, stop it! - Come on! 192 00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:14,220 ♪♪ [Funk] 193 00:10:14,298 --> 00:10:16,232 ♪♪ [Record Scratching] 194 00:10:32,583 --> 00:10:36,519 ♪♪ [Man Rapping, Echoing] 195 00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,464 ♪♪ [Scratching] 196 00:10:51,535 --> 00:10:54,026 ♪♪ [Ends] 197 00:10:56,632 --> 00:10:59,430 ♪♪ [Pop] 198 00:11:00,503 --> 00:11:02,437 Sewell Park High School. 199 00:11:02,505 --> 00:11:05,065 Ooh, ain't nothing like a reunion... 200 00:11:05,141 --> 00:11:07,803 to bring back some of Miss Benita's good old memories. 201 00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:11,142 - Is that you? - You know it is! 202 00:11:11,214 --> 00:11:13,876 [Both Squealing] 203 00:11:15,151 --> 00:11:17,312 Excuse me! 204 00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:22,119 Hey, lookee there! There's Stayvon Evans and his childhood sweetheart. 205 00:11:22,191 --> 00:11:25,820 Hey, Stayvon! Didn't you two get married in the 10th grade? 206 00:11:25,895 --> 00:11:27,920 - That's right. - Ahh. 207 00:11:27,997 --> 00:11:31,660 I ain't never met no man who's been faithful to his wife for 20 years. 208 00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:34,532 [Laughing] 209 00:11:34,604 --> 00:11:37,334 And still haven't. Mm-hmm. 210 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:41,103 Only thing Stayvon's been faithful to is the Trojan company. 211 00:11:41,177 --> 00:11:44,908 Mm-hmm. That man done cleared more drains than Roto-Rooter. 212 00:11:44,981 --> 00:11:48,280 But I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard that from me. 213 00:11:48,351 --> 00:11:51,843 [Gasps] Tenetha Scott! 214 00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:56,290 Look at you! Fifteen years, and you ain't aged a day! 215 00:11:56,359 --> 00:11:59,760 You gonna let me in on your secrets? [Laughing] 216 00:12:01,397 --> 00:12:04,662 Let me in on the name of her surgeon's more like it. 217 00:12:04,734 --> 00:12:08,898 That girl's done seen more knives than a chef at Benihana's. 218 00:12:08,971 --> 00:12:13,670 Skin pulled so tight, she can't smile without passin' gas. 219 00:12:13,743 --> 00:12:16,576 But I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard that from me. 220 00:12:16,646 --> 00:12:19,046 No, you haven't. [Gasps] 221 00:12:19,115 --> 00:12:22,414 Dimbale Humphrey! Dimbale! 222 00:12:22,485 --> 00:12:25,943 Di-Di-Di-Di-Di-Di-Di... Dimbale! 223 00:12:26,022 --> 00:12:29,583 Oh, look at all them letters on your jacket. 224 00:12:29,659 --> 00:12:32,651 You always was the fastest man on the track team. 225 00:12:32,728 --> 00:12:34,719 [Laughing] 226 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:37,925 Fastest man in the bedroom too. Mm-hmm. 227 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,663 He's quicker on the trigger than the L.A.P.D. 228 00:12:41,737 --> 00:12:44,433 But I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard that from me. 229 00:12:44,507 --> 00:12:47,340 Mr. Sturges! 230 00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:50,038 Oh, 'member little Benita? Remember? 231 00:12:50,112 --> 00:12:53,673 You made me feel so good 'cause I was left-handed, and I was so ashamed... 232 00:12:53,749 --> 00:12:55,740 but you made me feel so good. 233 00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:58,981 You said you were left-handed too. Remember? Ahh. 234 00:13:01,557 --> 00:13:05,220 Mm-hmm. The only difference is I was using my left hand to write. 235 00:13:06,629 --> 00:13:10,827 But I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard that from me. 236 00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:14,859 Oh! Oh! Tonganika Jackson. 237 00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:20,938 - Guess who! - Uh, give me a hint. 238 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:23,001 Your prize cheerleader. 239 00:13:23,079 --> 00:13:25,206 - Lisa? - Girl! 240 00:13:25,281 --> 00:13:28,739 Uh, I'm sorry. I was the captain of the squad. I don't remember you. 241 00:13:28,818 --> 00:13:32,083 Then I guess I'm just gonna have to refresh your memory. 242 00:13:32,154 --> 00:13:35,123 [Chanting] Now, I ain't one to gossip, I ain't one to rag... 243 00:13:35,191 --> 00:13:38,683 but your quarterback is ugly, and your grandmother sags! 244 00:13:38,761 --> 00:13:41,389 [Vocalizing] 245 00:13:41,464 --> 00:13:43,432 Are you sure you were on the squad? 246 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,791 I wasn't exactly on the squad... 247 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,860 but I did try out eight times. 248 00:13:48,938 --> 00:13:50,929 Then I decided I had to better myself. 249 00:13:51,007 --> 00:13:53,567 So while them heifers were out there shaking their coochie... 250 00:13:53,643 --> 00:13:56,544 Ms. Benita was in the boiler's room selling barbecued pigs' feet... 251 00:13:56,612 --> 00:13:58,944 and disposable douche bags. 252 00:13:59,015 --> 00:14:02,382 Mm-hmm. That's right, honey. I'm gonna have me some pocket change. 253 00:14:02,451 --> 00:14:04,476 ♪♪ [Stereo: Man Vocalizing] 254 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,818 Ooh, honey! That's my song! 255 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,222 I can't sit still when Smokey's croonin'. 256 00:14:10,293 --> 00:14:12,420 - Hey, excuse me. - You're welcome to cut in. 257 00:14:12,495 --> 00:14:16,261 Uh... No, I was looking for... Uh, whoa, now. 258 00:14:16,332 --> 00:14:18,823 I'm looking for Miss Jenkins. 259 00:14:20,303 --> 00:14:22,396 Don't you say nothin' bad about Miss Jenkins. 260 00:14:22,471 --> 00:14:25,770 Miss Jenkins? Come on. That was the worst history teacher we ever had. 261 00:14:25,841 --> 00:14:29,208 [Gasping] 262 00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:33,146 Don't you say nothin' bad about Miss Jenkins! 263 00:14:33,215 --> 00:14:35,809 She's like a mother to me. Like a mother to me! 264 00:14:35,885 --> 00:14:38,911 She's a fine woman! Fine woman! 265 00:14:38,988 --> 00:14:42,583 Just don't let her put on a bikini. 266 00:14:42,658 --> 00:14:46,321 Woman got enough hair on her booty to give herself a Jheri curl. 267 00:14:46,395 --> 00:14:49,694 But I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard that from me. No, you haven't. 268 00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:57,504 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 269 00:14:57,573 --> 00:15:00,098 [Woman Speaking] 270 00:15:02,078 --> 00:15:04,876 ♪♪ [Continues] 271 00:15:29,739 --> 00:15:32,139 ♪♪ [Ends] 272 00:15:34,210 --> 00:15:37,373 - ♪♪ ['80s Pop] - [Announcer] And now... 273 00:15:37,446 --> 00:15:42,281 Public Access Television Channel 53 presents: Men on Vacation. 274 00:15:54,530 --> 00:15:59,558 - Hello. I'm Blayne Edwards. - And I'm Antoine Merrywether. 275 00:15:59,635 --> 00:16:03,537 [In Unison] And welcome to Men on Vacation. 276 00:16:03,606 --> 00:16:07,064 Today we'll be reviewing our little European vacation. 277 00:16:07,143 --> 00:16:10,044 From a male point of view. 278 00:16:10,112 --> 00:16:15,641 Here we are on our last stop on our whirlwind gallivant through Europa. 279 00:16:15,718 --> 00:16:19,210 Wait a minute. We got a new sponsor. 280 00:16:19,288 --> 00:16:22,257 Somebody better check their mail. 281 00:16:30,299 --> 00:16:34,531 Tonight's broadcast is brought to you byJewels... 282 00:16:34,603 --> 00:16:37,834 the gum that explodes in your mouth. 283 00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:41,733 I bet you just can't chew one. 284 00:16:41,811 --> 00:16:44,609 And who'd want to? 285 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,615 We started our little trip in Greece. 286 00:16:47,683 --> 00:16:49,651 The Greek "peoples" was so nice. 287 00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:54,417 Yes. They bent over backwards to show us a good time. 288 00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:56,651 Oh, look. Excuse me. 289 00:16:56,725 --> 00:17:01,162 Not you, fish. You go back in the sea. 290 00:17:03,933 --> 00:17:06,026 Garçon. 291 00:17:07,303 --> 00:17:10,363 Oh, may I have another Wallbanger? 292 00:17:12,475 --> 00:17:15,467 - And for monsieur? - Oui, oui. 293 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:26,847 - Bottoms up. - Ditto. 294 00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:32,053 Is that little Ricky Schroder? What's he doin' here? Don't let him see me. 295 00:17:33,596 --> 00:17:38,431 - Who's that with him? - You know, I think that's Erik Estrada. 296 00:17:38,501 --> 00:17:43,837 Oh, well. Anyway. Next we went to Holland, land of dikes. 297 00:17:43,906 --> 00:17:47,103 [In Unison] Hated it! 298 00:17:51,447 --> 00:17:54,382 And from there, it was on to merry old England. 299 00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:57,442 - Remember Big Ben? - Oh, how could I forget it? 300 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,889 It was so nice of him to show us around the city. 301 00:18:01,957 --> 00:18:05,518 Excuse me. Big Ben was a clock. 302 00:18:05,594 --> 00:18:09,086 Well, we both know what time that was. 303 00:18:09,165 --> 00:18:11,292 You'd better stop. 304 00:18:14,403 --> 00:18:18,203 You know, it's so chilly out here, my nipples are hard. 305 00:18:22,611 --> 00:18:26,707 Then it was just a hop, skip and jump on to gay Paris... 306 00:18:26,782 --> 00:18:30,548 but we decided to go back to Greece instead. 307 00:18:30,619 --> 00:18:34,316 And then it was on to Scotland. 308 00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:38,656 You know, I found it to be quite an open society... 309 00:18:38,727 --> 00:18:42,686 where "mens" are free to explore the feminine side of their nature. 310 00:18:42,765 --> 00:18:47,099 All those hairy legs and skirts holdin' them bagpipes. 311 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:52,266 Mm-hmm. Not since the Fire Island Halloween Barn Dance... 312 00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:56,004 have I seen so many men in drag. 313 00:18:56,078 --> 00:19:00,105 Just a hint, fellas: Plaid is out this fall. 314 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:05,984 Our next stop was Sweden, best known for its beautiful, buxom blondes. 315 00:19:06,055 --> 00:19:09,456 [In Unison] Hated it! 316 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:13,120 So we went back to Greece. 317 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:17,894 But it was very sad when we had to leave our soldier buddies behind... 318 00:19:17,967 --> 00:19:22,768 and travel to our final destination: The French Riviera... 319 00:19:22,838 --> 00:19:24,772 which is where we've been ever since. 320 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,241 Oh, yes. And to sum up our little European vacation, we're gonna have... 321 00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:34,146 to give the whole trip a new and improved around-the-world-and-back snap. 322 00:19:37,987 --> 00:19:40,854 Tell a friend. 323 00:19:40,923 --> 00:19:44,086 Tune in next week, when we'll be back in the good old U.S. Of A... 324 00:19:44,159 --> 00:19:46,525 reviewing the new release, Memphis Belle. 325 00:19:46,595 --> 00:19:50,122 It's the story of 10 young "mens" in leather jackets... 326 00:19:50,199 --> 00:19:53,191 all sweaty, standin' next to each other... 327 00:19:53,269 --> 00:19:57,729 and them long, hard bombs crammed together in a little old cockpit. 328 00:19:59,508 --> 00:20:03,308 Well, grease my landing gear, I'm coming in for a landing. 329 00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,676 - Toodle-oo! - See you next week! Bye! 330 00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:12,687 ♪♪ ['80s Pop] 331 00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:23,997 Tonight's special guest, we got Shabba Ranks and Maxi Priest. 332 00:20:24,066 --> 00:20:26,557 Yeah! 333 00:20:26,635 --> 00:20:31,231 ♪♪ [Rapping] 334 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:43,417 ♪♪ [Singing] 335 00:21:13,248 --> 00:21:16,740 ♪♪ [Vocalizing] 336 00:21:25,761 --> 00:21:28,559 ♪♪ [Singing] 337 00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:39,599 ♪♪ [Singing] 338 00:22:00,929 --> 00:22:03,955 ♪♪ [Vocalizing] 339 00:22:30,893 --> 00:22:33,327 ♪♪ [Continues] 340 00:22:47,342 --> 00:22:49,833 ♪♪ [Continues, Ends] 29430

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