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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,653 --> 00:00:03,587 [Man] FOX television proudly presents... 2 00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:07,386 the world's very first condom commercial on network television. 3 00:00:08,393 --> 00:00:12,659 Did you ever notice how I do all these routines? 4 00:00:12,730 --> 00:00:17,463 See, I do the routines about the little kids because I like kids. 5 00:00:17,535 --> 00:00:20,402 But then they start to grow up and become teenagers... 6 00:00:20,471 --> 00:00:23,463 and I don't like them anymore because they're stupid. 7 00:00:24,809 --> 00:00:28,370 They're just stupid. See, my oldest son is stupid. 8 00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:31,108 The other day, I was trying to get into the bathroom... 9 00:00:31,182 --> 00:00:36,313 and he tells me that he won't let me in because he's trying to go. 10 00:00:36,387 --> 00:00:41,290 But every time he tries to go, it feels like his pudding pop is on fire. 11 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,630 Now... 12 00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:50,464 my boy's got back draft going out his boxer shorts. 13 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:56,573 You see. And, see, it's all because he didn't use any protection! 14 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,575 No protection, see? 15 00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:01,111 This is why I'm endorsing... 16 00:01:01,179 --> 00:01:03,579 the Cosby Condom. 17 00:01:07,285 --> 00:01:09,845 See. The Cosby Condom. 18 00:01:11,356 --> 00:01:13,290 Okay. See, that's why, see... 19 00:01:13,358 --> 00:01:15,292 And they come in a variety of colors... 20 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,659 from the red strawberry to the lemon yellow. 21 00:01:23,067 --> 00:01:28,004 They come in the green grape and the purple passion fruit, see. 22 00:01:28,072 --> 00:01:30,063 And, see, there's even a special... 23 00:01:30,141 --> 00:01:33,008 See, if you get into the box, they give you a special one. 24 00:01:33,077 --> 00:01:35,045 It's what I call the... 25 00:01:35,113 --> 00:01:39,209 "Hey! Hey! Hey!" Condom, see. 26 00:01:41,853 --> 00:01:44,686 So that's why... See, when you're with your woman, see... 27 00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:48,283 and you start whispering, you know, sweet little nothings into the ear... 28 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:51,157 and it's " farvy, farvies, far-fa-far-far." 29 00:01:51,229 --> 00:01:54,426 See, and now your tongue is going into the ear... 30 00:01:54,499 --> 00:01:57,525 then your wife, Camille's, eyes starts going up into the head... 31 00:01:57,602 --> 00:01:59,797 see, and she starts making those sounds like... 32 00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:03,500 [Gibberish] 33 00:02:03,574 --> 00:02:06,543 And then she starts making faces like, you know... 34 00:02:06,611 --> 00:02:08,602 [Gibberish] 35 00:02:08,679 --> 00:02:13,981 And then you feel safe in knowing that you won't get any funky diseases. 36 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:17,145 And you always will know you won't make any kids... 37 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,519 that will grow up and become stupid! 38 00:02:20,925 --> 00:02:24,759 So before you dip your spoon into the pudding... 39 00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:35,800 make sure you're wearing a Cosby Condom! 40 00:02:35,873 --> 00:02:38,068 Thank you. 41 00:02:38,142 --> 00:02:41,600 [Cosby Continues] Take it from America's most beloved father... 42 00:02:41,679 --> 00:02:43,613 I'd rather be single.! 43 00:02:43,681 --> 00:02:45,808 [Groans] 44 00:02:45,883 --> 00:02:46,872 - How you livin'? - What? 45 00:02:46,951 --> 00:02:48,043 - How you livin'? - What? 46 00:02:48,119 --> 00:02:50,246 - How you livin'? - ♪ In living color♪ 47 00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:56,820 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 48 00:02:56,894 --> 00:03:01,160 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 49 00:03:01,232 --> 00:03:05,032 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 50 00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:09,368 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 51 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,068 - ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 52 00:03:12,143 --> 00:03:14,304 - ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 53 00:03:14,378 --> 00:03:16,846 ♪ Here comes another one of those funky, funny mo'money shows ♪ 54 00:03:16,914 --> 00:03:18,438 ♪ A cast for laughs and talented roles ♪ 55 00:03:18,516 --> 00:03:20,643 ♪ And sisters with twisters for you been lookin', listener♪ 56 00:03:20,718 --> 00:03:22,686 ♪ It seems you don't believe so you can believe what I convince ya ♪ 57 00:03:22,753 --> 00:03:24,778 ♪ Some booty to your short and thought We'll make it snappy ♪ 58 00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,949 ♪ With jokes and pokes at folks to keep you happy ♪ 59 00:03:27,024 --> 00:03:29,219 ♪ No need to hold your remote control ♪ 60 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:31,261 ♪ Chill This show's got soul ♪ 61 00:03:31,329 --> 00:03:33,422 ♪ All aboard, all aboard The train never troubles ♪ 62 00:03:33,498 --> 00:03:34,863 ♪ You'd better snuggle up couple up ♪ 63 00:03:34,932 --> 00:03:36,627 - ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 64 00:03:36,701 --> 00:03:39,932 ♪ It's hard to believe but some of the best things in life are free ♪ 65 00:03:40,004 --> 00:03:42,029 ♪ So, fellas, grab your girl Tell her that you love her♪ 66 00:03:42,106 --> 00:03:44,472 ♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin' when you're livin'in living color♪ 67 00:03:44,542 --> 00:03:47,875 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 68 00:03:47,945 --> 00:03:53,781 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 69 00:03:53,851 --> 00:03:58,288 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 70 00:03:58,356 --> 00:03:59,584 ♪ Go, go, go ♪ 71 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,454 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪♪ 72 00:04:06,797 --> 00:04:09,561 [Man] Friday, see all your favorite stand-up stereotypes... 73 00:04:09,634 --> 00:04:11,864 on H.B.O.'s Tired Comedy Nite. 74 00:04:11,936 --> 00:04:14,097 Meet the insecure girl. 75 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:17,140 Between Colonel Sanders and the Häagen-Dazs, you know. 76 00:04:17,208 --> 00:04:19,039 [Audience Laughing] 77 00:04:19,110 --> 00:04:21,271 I mean, you ever heard of thunder thighs? 78 00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,540 I mean, l... I got sonic boom thighs. 79 00:04:23,614 --> 00:04:26,412 [Laughing, Cheering] 80 00:04:26,484 --> 00:04:30,944 My biological clock is ticking so loud... I went out to dinner last night... 81 00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:33,115 and they had to call in the bomb squad. 82 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,385 [Man] Or get crazy with the old guy. 83 00:04:35,459 --> 00:04:39,953 The whole world is crazy, man! 84 00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:46,666 Man, women today... women today are crazy, man! 85 00:04:48,339 --> 00:04:51,103 My wife... Y'all don't know my wife... 86 00:04:51,175 --> 00:04:53,871 'cause my wife is crazy, man! 87 00:04:55,313 --> 00:04:58,282 You ever eat cheese doodles? 88 00:04:58,349 --> 00:05:01,648 Cheese doodles are crazy! 89 00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:04,483 [Man] Or how about the insights of Mr. Stereotype.! 90 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:08,582 But you ever check out, like, white people, man, when they're like just typing? 91 00:05:08,659 --> 00:05:10,593 Like, doing the typewriter just... 92 00:05:10,661 --> 00:05:15,724 But, listen, brothers be typing... They be typing with their elbows. They all... 93 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,132 Or you ever check out, like, surgeons? Like, white surgeons... 94 00:05:18,202 --> 00:05:20,136 when they're, like, doing surgery, they're like... 95 00:05:20,204 --> 00:05:22,798 "Pass me the scalpel, please." But let it be some brothers, right? 96 00:05:22,873 --> 00:05:25,103 They'd be like, " Yo, homegirl, pass me the scalpel. 97 00:05:25,176 --> 00:05:27,110 I'm 'bout to cut up some ribs!" [Laughs] 98 00:05:27,178 --> 00:05:29,612 All y'all, check out. 99 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,478 No, hold it. Hold it. Hold yourself, though. Hold yourself. 100 00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:34,916 Hold... No, see, hold up. Hold up. 101 00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,920 White presidents, they go fishing and talking about... 102 00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:39,320 "a thousand points of light," you know what I'm saying? 103 00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:41,324 But let it be a black president, Jack. 104 00:05:41,392 --> 00:05:43,451 See, we be eating the fish, right, talking about... 105 00:05:43,527 --> 00:05:45,461 "Who didn't pay the light bill?" 106 00:05:45,529 --> 00:05:49,124 [Man] And who'd want to miss the stupid prop guy? 107 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,430 I'll be back. 108 00:05:54,071 --> 00:05:58,064 Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. 109 00:05:58,142 --> 00:06:01,168 Black ball, white ball... 110 00:06:01,245 --> 00:06:03,179 juggle fever! 111 00:06:05,883 --> 00:06:07,817 Okay, for my last piece... 112 00:06:07,885 --> 00:06:13,551 I would like to demonstrate that I am not only a brilliant stand-up comedian... 113 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:18,618 I am also a very accomplished escape artist. 114 00:06:18,696 --> 00:06:21,529 Okay! 115 00:06:24,068 --> 00:06:27,367 [Man] It's a laugh-o-rama you won't want to miss.! 116 00:06:27,438 --> 00:06:30,999 Sojoin us this Friday, live from the Wacky Doodles Nightclub... 117 00:06:31,075 --> 00:06:34,169 for H.B.O.'s Tired Comedy Nite! 118 00:06:37,682 --> 00:06:41,812 Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Fulton Community Film Festival. 119 00:06:41,886 --> 00:06:45,720 Our first film, My Arms Are Too Short To Slap You Upside Your Head... 120 00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:47,758 will begin in five minutes. 121 00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:53,853 This is it, Mama! 122 00:06:57,735 --> 00:07:01,432 After everyone sees my film debut, I'm gonna be a big star. 123 00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,439 And they're gonna make a Lil Magic doll... 124 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:06,237 - with adjustable hair extensions. - Uh, Lil Magic... 125 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:08,642 We can move out of the projects and into a trailer park... 126 00:07:08,713 --> 00:07:11,147 and get a plastic pool and put it in the front yard. 127 00:07:11,215 --> 00:07:13,877 - Lil Magic... - And you can get the fat sucked out of your butt... 128 00:07:13,951 --> 00:07:17,182 - so it don't look like a bean bag chair no more. - Oh, hush up! 129 00:07:17,254 --> 00:07:19,381 - Sorry, Mama. - Oh, that's my baby... 130 00:07:19,457 --> 00:07:22,017 but you know Mama can't think when you're doing all that talkin'! 131 00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:24,391 I know, Mama! 132 00:07:24,462 --> 00:07:26,521 Now look here. You stay right here, Lil Magic... 133 00:07:26,597 --> 00:07:28,588 and don't let nobody come in this here room. 134 00:07:28,666 --> 00:07:32,432 Don't worry, Mama, I won't. Not even if the most famous producer comes to me and says... 135 00:07:32,503 --> 00:07:34,801 - " Hi! You're the most talented, littlest girl... - [Clattering] 136 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:37,636 In the whole wide, humongous, 'bubblicious,' 'bufascious'..." 137 00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:40,973 - Hush up! - Sorry, Mama. 138 00:07:41,045 --> 00:07:44,071 Hey, what are you doing over there? 139 00:07:44,148 --> 00:07:49,245 Hi! I'm Lil Magic, Miss Smile Brite, 1987! 140 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,413 - See! - Please. Sit down. 141 00:07:54,992 --> 00:07:56,983 Hi! 142 00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:06,229 You gonna be a star, baby! 143 00:08:06,303 --> 00:08:09,329 [Lil Magic Clapping, Whistling] 144 00:08:11,809 --> 00:08:14,869 Hi! I'm the miracle worker. 145 00:08:14,945 --> 00:08:19,609 You must be little Helen Keller, the blind and deaf girl. 146 00:08:19,683 --> 00:08:22,811 You cannot see nor hear. Come here. 147 00:08:22,887 --> 00:08:25,082 Let me teach you sign language. 148 00:08:28,692 --> 00:08:30,853 Oh, you such a pretty girl. 149 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:33,055 - And I'll bet you're talented too. - I am! 150 00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:35,963 [Whispering] Now, Lil Magic. How many times I done told you, baby... 151 00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,967 you can't talk, you blind. 152 00:08:38,035 --> 00:08:40,469 Oh, I'm sorry, Mama. 153 00:08:42,239 --> 00:08:44,173 S-Sorry. 154 00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:47,267 Now, sit down. I'm gonna teach you how to use a spoon. 155 00:08:47,344 --> 00:08:49,312 [Whispering] Go and sit down, girl. 156 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:59,889 [Straining] 157 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,948 No! 158 00:09:02,026 --> 00:09:04,085 [Whimpering] 159 00:09:04,161 --> 00:09:06,095 No! 160 00:09:06,163 --> 00:09:08,563 Maybe she might could use two. 161 00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:15,372 Oh, my! 162 00:09:15,439 --> 00:09:18,101 A blind and deaf girl who can play the spoons... 163 00:09:18,175 --> 00:09:20,541 and sing and dance! 164 00:09:21,712 --> 00:09:24,180 ♪♪ [Singing] 165 00:09:25,249 --> 00:09:27,683 Go, Helen Keller.! Go.! 166 00:09:32,423 --> 00:09:34,653 ♪♪ [Ends] 167 00:09:34,725 --> 00:09:36,818 Swallow the cane, baby. Swallow the cane, Lil Magic. 168 00:09:36,894 --> 00:09:38,828 Wait. You forgot to set it on fire. 169 00:09:38,896 --> 00:09:41,387 Oh! Sorry, Mama. 170 00:09:41,465 --> 00:09:44,901 - [Audience Booing] - That's it. 171 00:09:44,969 --> 00:09:47,563 That was wonderful! 172 00:09:47,638 --> 00:09:49,936 Guess you were right, Mama. I'm gonna be a big star! 173 00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,941 Oh, Mama knows, Lil Magic. 174 00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,273 You know, they booed Todd Bridges and J.J. Walker... 175 00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:56,745 when they first started, and look where they at now. 176 00:09:56,814 --> 00:09:58,839 Come on. Let's go celebrate at the Fatburger. 177 00:09:58,916 --> 00:10:02,113 - Can I have the whole hamburger this time? - Oh, hush up! 178 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:05,019 You better put that down. We are watching. Come on, baby. 179 00:10:07,992 --> 00:10:11,291 [Cheering] 180 00:10:12,363 --> 00:10:13,557 He's safe! 181 00:10:17,668 --> 00:10:20,569 Don't look so down, Son. It wasn't your fault. 182 00:10:20,638 --> 00:10:22,606 Yes, it was, Dad. 183 00:10:22,673 --> 00:10:24,607 I played horrible the whole game. 184 00:10:24,675 --> 00:10:26,609 I just wasn't myself. 185 00:10:26,677 --> 00:10:30,738 It looks like your confidence is down. Is there something on your mind? 186 00:10:30,814 --> 00:10:33,942 I don't know. I just don't feel... 187 00:10:34,018 --> 00:10:37,181 - Fresh? - Well, yeah. 188 00:10:37,254 --> 00:10:41,418 It's hard to concentrate when you're worried about masculine hygiene, isn't it? 189 00:10:41,492 --> 00:10:44,757 Yeah. Well, what should I do about it? 190 00:10:44,828 --> 00:10:48,662 - Try these. - Tes-T-Shields? 191 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:51,223 They're protective linings you put in your cup... 192 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:53,236 to give you more confidence. 193 00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:56,102 [Man] Each Tes-T-Shield is filled with tiny air tunnels... 194 00:10:56,173 --> 00:10:58,767 allowing cool air to circulate throughout your cup. 195 00:10:58,842 --> 00:11:02,505 At the same time, aroma sensors release an exhilarating fragrance... 196 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,809 helping you stay fresh all day. 197 00:11:04,882 --> 00:11:07,214 Wow! Tes-T-Shields does all that? 198 00:11:07,284 --> 00:11:09,809 And more. They even come with wings. 199 00:11:09,887 --> 00:11:11,752 Wings? Well, what for? 200 00:11:11,822 --> 00:11:15,622 Lord knows. But the important thing is, is they're comfortable. 201 00:11:15,693 --> 00:11:17,558 How do you know so much about this? 202 00:11:17,628 --> 00:11:19,755 Son, do you smell that pine tar? 203 00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:23,061 [Sniffing] Yeah. 204 00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:25,226 I'm wearing 'em right now. 205 00:11:25,302 --> 00:11:27,634 Even at my age, I need a little more. 206 00:11:27,705 --> 00:11:30,697 Wow. I'll give these Tes-T-Shields a try. 207 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,504 [Cheering] 208 00:11:34,979 --> 00:11:37,413 He's out! 209 00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:41,278 Son, it looks like you got your confidence back. 210 00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:44,788 - Thanks to you, Dad. - No, thanks to Tes-T-Shields. 211 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,890 [Man] Tes-T-Shields from Playfree. 212 00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:51,450 The manly way to stay fresh, confident and protected all day long. 213 00:11:51,528 --> 00:11:55,862 Now available in three scents... pine tar, herbal and cowhide leather. 214 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:59,399 [Man] In the great tradition ofblack characters in crossover films... 215 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:02,928 Sidekick's back, and this time he's in 'Nam. 216 00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,908 Are there real bullets in this thing? 217 00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:07,773 - Now! - [Whimpering] 218 00:12:07,845 --> 00:12:09,870 I can't take it, man. 219 00:12:09,947 --> 00:12:12,814 Come on, man. Show these bastards what you're made of! 220 00:12:12,883 --> 00:12:16,478 - Now! - You've got to be brave for me, man. Remember? 221 00:12:16,553 --> 00:12:18,748 I'm the black guy. 222 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,814 - Oh, yeah, sorry. - Now! 223 00:12:21,892 --> 00:12:23,826 Nobody does that to my friend! 224 00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,955 Oh, my God. Was I hit? 225 00:12:27,031 --> 00:12:29,397 I greased him, man. Come on. Let's get out of here! 226 00:12:29,466 --> 00:12:32,697 Hey, thanks, partner. You're the best. I'm nothing without you, man. 227 00:12:32,770 --> 00:12:35,170 - Stay behind me. - Sure thing. 228 00:12:37,307 --> 00:12:40,640 ♪♪ [Radio] 229 00:12:43,981 --> 00:12:45,972 Hold it. 230 00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:49,019 Great. The Temps, man. We used to groove to this back home. 231 00:12:49,086 --> 00:12:51,316 Damn. We almost ran into a booby trap. 232 00:12:51,388 --> 00:12:53,322 Yeah. Charlie. 233 00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:55,324 We're gonna have to go over it. 234 00:12:55,392 --> 00:12:58,884 ♪♪ [Continues, Faint] 235 00:12:58,962 --> 00:13:00,293 [Creaking] 236 00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:04,528 [Projectile Swooshing] 237 00:13:06,904 --> 00:13:09,839 Okay, this way. 238 00:13:09,907 --> 00:13:12,501 Uh, yeah. Right. 239 00:13:12,576 --> 00:13:15,807 It's an ambush. Get down.! 240 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,143 Oh, no! Blood! 241 00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:20,115 I've been hit in my pinky! 242 00:13:20,184 --> 00:13:22,118 Owee. Owee! 243 00:13:22,186 --> 00:13:25,417 I don't wanna die. I gotta see my mama again. 244 00:13:25,489 --> 00:13:27,423 Come on, pal. It's just a nick. 245 00:13:27,491 --> 00:13:30,358 I can't feel my legs. I can't feel my legs. 246 00:13:30,427 --> 00:13:33,362 - Come on. Hang on, buddy. Hang on. - I can't, man! 247 00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:36,194 - I have to die. - Why? Why? 248 00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:38,598 So you can go crazy and get revenge on Charlie... 249 00:13:38,669 --> 00:13:42,002 by winning the battle single-handedly. 250 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,666 Oh, yeah. 251 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,732 [Groans] 252 00:13:51,615 --> 00:13:54,607 No! 253 00:13:54,685 --> 00:13:58,086 [Man] Sidekick gives a whole new meaning tojungle fever in... 254 00:13:58,155 --> 00:14:00,089 Sidekick in 'Nam! 255 00:14:00,157 --> 00:14:02,284 Coming from FOX. 256 00:14:02,359 --> 00:14:05,419 ♪♪ [Man Rapping] 257 00:14:12,703 --> 00:14:17,834 - ♪♪ [Woman Singing] - ♪♪ [Rapping Continues] 258 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,446 ♪♪ [Ends] 259 00:14:33,802 --> 00:14:36,362 Hey, man, I don't know about this blind date thing, man. 260 00:14:36,437 --> 00:14:38,803 Oh, man, don't bail out on me now, man. It's gonna be all right. 261 00:14:38,873 --> 00:14:42,331 I promise you. Tonight will be a night you will never forget. 262 00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:49,812 - Girl, how do I look? - I told you, Wanda, you look fine. 263 00:14:49,884 --> 00:14:51,909 Oh, you don't think this dress is too tight, do you? 264 00:14:51,986 --> 00:14:55,649 - No, girl, you look perfect. - Okay, then. Okay, then. 265 00:14:55,723 --> 00:14:58,317 Come on. There they are. Put the compact away. 266 00:15:02,997 --> 00:15:07,525 Girl, I hope he ain't ugly 'cause I can't stand no ugly man. 267 00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:10,901 No, no, no. He's cute. 268 00:15:10,972 --> 00:15:14,237 Oh, no, wait a minute. No, she... No, she didn't. 269 00:15:14,309 --> 00:15:17,142 She done try to have my dress on. 270 00:15:17,212 --> 00:15:19,146 She just... And ugly. 271 00:15:19,214 --> 00:15:22,149 Wanda, that's not nice. That's not right. 272 00:15:22,217 --> 00:15:25,152 If she ugly, she just ugly. Ain't no ifs, ands or buts. 273 00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:27,916 - Who you lookin' at? - Come on. 274 00:15:32,126 --> 00:15:35,527 - Damn! - Hey! Wait, wait! Whoa! Whoa! 275 00:15:35,597 --> 00:15:37,758 Wait up! Wait up, now! 276 00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:44,536 - This is Carl. - This is Wanda. 277 00:15:44,606 --> 00:15:46,972 - Carl. - Wanda. 278 00:15:47,041 --> 00:15:50,010 Oh. Oh! 279 00:15:50,078 --> 00:15:53,775 I'm... I'm sorry. 280 00:15:53,848 --> 00:15:56,681 - He is cute, girl. - I told you. 281 00:16:01,756 --> 00:16:05,021 Calm down. You're so stiff! 282 00:16:05,093 --> 00:16:07,527 Well, you gonna pull my chair out for me? 283 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,191 You're crazy. 284 00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:19,640 Ooh! My throat is dry. 285 00:16:19,707 --> 00:16:21,902 Ooh, can we get somethin' to drink or somethin'? 286 00:16:21,976 --> 00:16:25,969 - Bartender, give me some water. - Water? 287 00:16:26,047 --> 00:16:29,608 Uh, so this is really nice. Um, Wanda... 288 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:32,278 Tammy tells me that you went to Poly "U"? 289 00:16:32,353 --> 00:16:34,821 Oh, oh, yeah. That's right. For real, though. 290 00:16:34,889 --> 00:16:37,187 I was studying in communications. 291 00:16:37,258 --> 00:16:40,659 But, uh, I'm tryin' to go into modeling. 292 00:16:40,728 --> 00:16:43,788 Interesting. That's interesting, see, 'cause Carl here... 293 00:16:43,865 --> 00:16:47,392 - he's a photographer. - Oh, for real though? For real? 294 00:16:47,468 --> 00:16:49,902 Well, you could take some pictures of me 'cause, see... 295 00:16:49,971 --> 00:16:53,031 my mama always said that I was real "photogentical." 296 00:16:53,107 --> 00:16:55,337 And, see, I wanna take some of those sexy pictures... 297 00:16:55,410 --> 00:16:57,935 - you know, in them "lingeray" draws. - [Retches] 298 00:16:58,012 --> 00:17:01,641 - You know, "lingeray." - Uh, uh, look. I gotta go to the bathroom. 299 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:05,777 - Gimme your keys, man! - Man, you ain't goin' nowhere, Carl. You owe me. 300 00:17:05,853 --> 00:17:08,185 Man, the girl looks like a damn jackal! 301 00:17:09,691 --> 00:17:12,216 Look, don't start with me, man. You remember Bethesda Willis? 302 00:17:12,293 --> 00:17:16,059 She looked like Earnie Shavers, man. I was poppin' blackheads all night. 303 00:17:16,130 --> 00:17:19,224 - Man, you gonna hold that to me right now? - Yes! 304 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,325 Just stay here till I give you the signal. 305 00:17:21,402 --> 00:17:23,461 - Chill, man. - Is somethin' wrong? 306 00:17:23,538 --> 00:17:25,472 Uh, no, baby, but... 307 00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:27,599 [Whispering] I thought you said your friend was cute. 308 00:17:27,675 --> 00:17:31,475 Well, I think she is cute. And, uh, besides, it's not what's on the outside... 309 00:17:31,546 --> 00:17:33,707 it's what's on the inside that counts. 310 00:17:33,781 --> 00:17:36,249 Well, somebody should flip her ugly ass inside out. 311 00:17:44,525 --> 00:17:46,652 What did he say? I know you not trippin'. 312 00:17:46,728 --> 00:17:48,855 - No, no. He said... He said... - I know he is not trippin'. 313 00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:53,230 He said maybe y'all should get out on the dance floor and turn this mamma jamma out. 314 00:17:53,301 --> 00:17:55,997 - Right. - I heard you all. Let's go dance. 315 00:17:57,071 --> 00:17:59,198 - Come on. - I don't like the deejay. 316 00:17:59,273 --> 00:18:01,901 Well, why don't you guys just talk? You know, get to know each other. 317 00:18:01,976 --> 00:18:04,638 - I bet you have a lot in common. - For real. For real though. 318 00:18:04,712 --> 00:18:07,180 Now, look here, my little chocolate angel... 319 00:18:07,248 --> 00:18:12,151 how might a brother like myself get all up on this frame of yours? 320 00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:14,620 Well, just keep sayin' the right thing. 321 00:18:14,689 --> 00:18:16,816 - Open sesame. - [Laughs] 322 00:18:18,059 --> 00:18:21,654 Uh, do you like alligators? 323 00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:28,626 - I hate 'em. - Oh, I don't like 'em either. 324 00:18:28,703 --> 00:18:30,933 They skin so rough. 325 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,473 Thank you. Don't be tryin' to talk to me! 326 00:18:35,543 --> 00:18:39,274 He tried to talk to me. He tryin' to talk to me. 327 00:18:39,347 --> 00:18:41,281 You see him? 328 00:18:41,349 --> 00:18:43,943 Better be glad this ain't no liquor 'cause come 12:00... 329 00:18:44,018 --> 00:18:46,009 I turn into a wolf. 330 00:18:47,588 --> 00:18:49,556 Must be a quarter to 1:00. 331 00:18:54,228 --> 00:18:57,095 You so crazy! He's so crazy. That's... 332 00:18:57,165 --> 00:18:59,963 I liked at you when I first "seened" you. 333 00:19:00,034 --> 00:19:01,968 You my type. You crazy. 334 00:19:02,036 --> 00:19:04,266 Look, uh, I gotta go get some ChapStick, man. 335 00:19:04,338 --> 00:19:08,172 Oh, no. That's okay. Uh-uh. I got some Vaseline. 336 00:19:08,242 --> 00:19:12,508 You gotta... You gotta work around the sides and stuff. 337 00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:14,946 Look, l... I gotta go get some cigarettes, y'all. 338 00:19:15,016 --> 00:19:16,950 - I gotta go get some cigarettes. - Oh, that's okay. 339 00:19:17,018 --> 00:19:19,248 I got cigarettes too. You ain't got to go nowhere. 340 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,720 - Uh, gotta get some matches. - Oh, you so silly. 341 00:19:21,789 --> 00:19:24,587 You know if I got cigarettes, I got matches. 342 00:19:24,659 --> 00:19:27,127 - Uh, I need gas for my car. - What you need? 343 00:19:27,195 --> 00:19:29,390 Unleaded or supreme? 344 00:19:30,531 --> 00:19:33,329 You ain't got to go nowhere. I got you. 345 00:19:33,401 --> 00:19:36,199 I have you. You mine. 346 00:19:38,139 --> 00:19:40,130 Hey. 347 00:19:43,144 --> 00:19:45,112 Word up. 348 00:19:52,753 --> 00:19:55,278 Hey! It's gettin' kind of ugly... Uh, it's gettin' late. 349 00:19:55,356 --> 00:19:58,814 - Uh, so, Carl. Man, I gotta get out... - The night's just startin'. 350 00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:01,691 - Hey, man, you in my ass! - Hey, man... 351 00:20:01,762 --> 00:20:03,753 What's wrong with him? 352 00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:08,591 Is your friend on crack? 353 00:20:10,204 --> 00:20:13,105 No, he's been dieting, you know. 354 00:20:19,981 --> 00:20:22,415 [Clears Throat] 355 00:20:22,483 --> 00:20:24,576 [Clears Throat] 356 00:20:27,522 --> 00:20:30,616 I'm ready to go. 357 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,321 Look, Wanda, we'll leave in a few minutes, all right? 358 00:20:34,395 --> 00:20:37,330 I said, I am ready to go. 359 00:20:37,398 --> 00:20:39,992 - I'm gonna call you a cab. - You ain't got to call me no cab. 360 00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:42,558 We came together, we'll leave together. What you talking about? 361 00:20:42,637 --> 00:20:45,071 See, y-you tryin' to trick somebody. You tryin' to trick somebody. 362 00:20:45,139 --> 00:20:47,607 But I know all y'all wanna do is get her stuff. 363 00:20:47,675 --> 00:20:50,269 - Wanda... - Wait, wait. You don't know anything about me. 364 00:20:50,344 --> 00:20:52,471 Look, I ain't got to know nothin' about you! 365 00:20:52,547 --> 00:20:56,483 Okay? I ain't got to know nothin' about you. 366 00:20:56,551 --> 00:20:59,019 All right? Do I have to know somethin' about you? 367 00:20:59,086 --> 00:21:01,816 - No, ma'am. - Let's go, girl. Let's go. 368 00:21:01,889 --> 00:21:04,517 - Um, you see her... - Girl, he ain't no good. Let's go. 369 00:21:04,592 --> 00:21:07,857 - I'm sorry. - Girl, he ain't no good. Let's just go. 370 00:21:10,698 --> 00:21:13,724 Here my number. Call me. 371 00:21:14,802 --> 00:21:16,827 I'll rock your world. 372 00:21:23,277 --> 00:21:25,268 I think it was, um, Andy Warhol that said... 373 00:21:25,346 --> 00:21:27,280 "Everyone gets 15 minutes of fame." 374 00:21:27,348 --> 00:21:29,282 So, I'm about to give somebody 15 seconds... 375 00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:31,341 - It was 15 seconds right? - [Kim] Yeah, 15. Wait... 376 00:21:31,419 --> 00:21:33,353 - [Kelly] Fifteen minutes. - Fifteen minutes. 377 00:21:33,421 --> 00:21:36,015 Fifteen minutes? Well, I'm giving somebody 15 seconds. 378 00:21:36,090 --> 00:21:39,423 Angie... It's your 15. Say good night. 379 00:21:39,493 --> 00:21:41,723 Thanks for joining us, everybody. Good night. 31461

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