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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,252 --> 00:00:04,346 ♪♪ [Piano] 2 00:00:04,422 --> 00:00:07,255 [Man] Now available for the first time... 3 00:00:07,325 --> 00:00:10,226 the quintessential man of the cloth, Jimmy Swaggart... 4 00:00:10,295 --> 00:00:13,287 sings like you've never heard him before. 5 00:00:13,364 --> 00:00:17,596 [Excessive Vibrato] ♪ Amazing grace ♪ 6 00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:21,628 ♪ How sweet the sound ♪ 7 00:00:21,706 --> 00:00:25,767 ♪ That saved a filthy wretch ♪ 8 00:00:25,843 --> 00:00:29,836 ♪ Like me ♪ 9 00:00:29,914 --> 00:00:34,044 ♪ I once was lost ♪ 10 00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:38,214 - ♪ But now I'm found ♪ - [Sobbing] Now I'm found. 11 00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:43,955 ♪ Was blind, but now I see ♪♪ 12 00:00:44,028 --> 00:00:47,725 LetJimmy and the Angels of Mercy Singers touch your heart with gospel classics. 13 00:00:47,799 --> 00:00:51,132 ♪ Yes, Jesus loves me Yes, Jesus loves me ♪ 14 00:00:51,202 --> 00:00:53,136 ♪ Yes, Jesus loves me ♪ 15 00:00:53,204 --> 00:00:55,672 ♪ The voices told me so ♪♪ 16 00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:58,732 - Or letJimmy touch you a little lower... - ♪♪ [Funk] 17 00:00:58,810 --> 00:01:01,904 When he sings some ofhis nasty favorites... 18 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,504 like 2 Live Crew. 19 00:01:04,582 --> 00:01:06,277 - [Women] Oh! - ♪ Me so horny ♪ 20 00:01:06,351 --> 00:01:07,943 - Oh! - ♪ Me so horny ♪ 21 00:01:08,019 --> 00:01:09,953 - Oh! - ♪ Me so horny ♪ 22 00:01:10,021 --> 00:01:11,886 ♪ We love you long time ♪ 23 00:01:11,956 --> 00:01:13,651 - Oh! - ♪ Me so horny ♪ 24 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,386 - Oh! - ♪ Me so horny ♪ 25 00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:17,018 - Oh! - ♪ Me so horny ♪ 26 00:01:17,095 --> 00:01:19,256 ♪ We love you long time ♪♪ 27 00:01:23,401 --> 00:01:25,961 [Announcer] That's Jimmy Swaggart's Heaven or Hell... 28 00:01:26,037 --> 00:01:28,335 only 19.95, 22.95 for CD. 29 00:01:28,406 --> 00:01:30,340 Order now. 30 00:01:30,408 --> 00:01:32,342 - ♪ You're down with O.P.P. ♪ - ♪ Yeah, you know me ♪ 31 00:01:32,410 --> 00:01:34,571 - ♪ Are you down with O.P.P. ♪ - ♪ Yeah, you know me ♪ 32 00:01:34,645 --> 00:01:37,671 - ♪ Are you down with O.P.P., yeah ♪ - ♪ Yeah, you know me ♪ 33 00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:40,081 - ♪ I'm an old perverted preacher ♪ - ♪ Every last lady ♪ 34 00:01:40,151 --> 00:01:42,711 - Watch me. - ♪ Can you show me ♪♪ 35 00:01:42,787 --> 00:01:44,846 [Announcer] WriteJimmy Swaggart, Heaven or Hell... 36 00:01:44,922 --> 00:01:47,550 Box 666-666, Tulsa. 37 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:49,949 - How you livin'? - What? 38 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,119 - How you livin'? - What? 39 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,322 - How you livin'? - ♪ In living color♪ 40 00:01:55,767 --> 00:02:00,067 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 41 00:02:00,138 --> 00:02:04,404 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 42 00:02:04,475 --> 00:02:08,275 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 43 00:02:08,346 --> 00:02:12,840 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 44 00:02:12,917 --> 00:02:14,908 ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪ 45 00:02:14,986 --> 00:02:17,011 ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪ 46 00:02:17,088 --> 00:02:19,682 ♪ Here comes another one of those funky, funny mo'money shows ♪ 47 00:02:19,757 --> 00:02:21,691 ♪ A cast for laughs and talented roles ♪ 48 00:02:21,759 --> 00:02:23,693 ♪ And sisters with twisters for you been lookin', listener♪ 49 00:02:23,761 --> 00:02:25,820 ♪ It seems you don't believe so you can believe what I convince ya ♪ 50 00:02:25,897 --> 00:02:27,888 ♪ Some booty to your short and thought We'll make it snappy ♪ 51 00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:30,058 ♪ With jokes and pokes at folks to keep you happy ♪ 52 00:02:30,134 --> 00:02:32,125 ♪ No need to hold your remote control ♪ 53 00:02:32,203 --> 00:02:34,194 ♪ Chill This show's got soul ♪ 54 00:02:34,272 --> 00:02:36,365 ♪ All aboard, all aboard The train never troubles ♪ 55 00:02:36,441 --> 00:02:38,102 ♪ You'd better snuggle up couple up ♪ 56 00:02:38,176 --> 00:02:39,905 - ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 57 00:02:39,977 --> 00:02:42,810 ♪ It's hard to believe but some of the best things in life are free ♪ 58 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,075 ♪ So, fellas, grab your girl Tell her that you love her♪ 59 00:02:45,149 --> 00:02:47,515 ♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin' when you're livin'in living color♪ 60 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:51,487 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 61 00:02:51,556 --> 00:02:56,721 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 62 00:02:56,794 --> 00:03:00,958 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 63 00:03:01,032 --> 00:03:02,795 ♪ Go, go, go ♪ 64 00:03:02,867 --> 00:03:05,358 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪♪ 65 00:03:08,673 --> 00:03:12,404 So, as you can see, Your Honor, my clients are completely innocent. 66 00:03:12,477 --> 00:03:14,411 It's an open-and-shut case. 67 00:03:14,479 --> 00:03:18,415 Before the jury deliberates, are there any further witnesses? 68 00:03:18,483 --> 00:03:21,782 Yes, Your Honor. There is one more witness we'd like to call to the stand. 69 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,787 Miss Benita Butrell. 70 00:03:30,361 --> 00:03:32,921 Hey! How y'all doin'? 71 00:03:32,997 --> 00:03:35,227 Y'all ain't got nothin' to worry about... 72 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,530 because Miss Benita is not in the habit of airin' nobody's dirty laundry. 73 00:03:38,603 --> 00:03:41,299 Unless, of course, it's the bailiff s laundry. 74 00:03:41,372 --> 00:03:43,363 Mm-hmm. Talk about dirty. 75 00:03:43,441 --> 00:03:46,740 He got stains in his drawers big enough to land a plane on. 76 00:03:46,811 --> 00:03:50,372 Would Miss Butrell just take the stand? 77 00:03:54,452 --> 00:03:58,081 Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you, God? 78 00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:01,181 I'd eat cold cut sandwiches made out of my own tongue... 79 00:04:01,259 --> 00:04:03,489 before I'd sit up here and tell a lie. 80 00:04:03,561 --> 00:04:06,826 Oh, looky there! 81 00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:09,526 There goes Gretchen.! Hey, girl.! How you doin'? 82 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:14,333 You're looking good! Oh, girl, I'm scared of you! 83 00:04:16,774 --> 00:04:20,767 You ought to be scared, too, with a convicted felon serving on the jury. 84 00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:24,508 I can tell she hittin' that crack pipe again too. 85 00:04:24,582 --> 00:04:28,643 Done got so skinny, look like she could hang glide on a Dorito. 86 00:04:33,624 --> 00:04:36,855 Uh, Bailiff, get me a jury alternate. 87 00:04:37,995 --> 00:04:40,259 Now, Miss Butrell... 88 00:04:40,331 --> 00:04:45,291 on the night of the 24th, the cash box from the project raffle was broken into... 89 00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:47,963 and over $2,000 was stolen. 90 00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:50,030 Where were you on that night? 91 00:04:50,107 --> 00:04:54,635 I was up on the rooftop sellin' pumpkin seeds and tampons. 92 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:58,113 Tryin' to better myself, honey, because unlike these other project bunnies... 93 00:04:58,182 --> 00:05:00,673 Miss Benita's gonna have something. Mm-hmm. That's right. 94 00:05:00,751 --> 00:05:05,017 That's why I'm enrolled in the Howell School of Zippo Recycling and Sewage Removal. 95 00:05:05,089 --> 00:05:07,023 That's enough! 96 00:05:07,091 --> 00:05:10,549 Miss Butrell, do you see the defendant in this courtroom? 97 00:05:10,628 --> 00:05:14,792 - Mm-hmm. - Would you mind pointing him out to us, please? 98 00:05:14,865 --> 00:05:16,799 There you go. Right there... Suede. 99 00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:19,267 Hey, Suede.! How you doin'? 100 00:05:19,337 --> 00:05:21,965 Yeah, they chose Suede over me to be the raffle treasurer. 101 00:05:22,039 --> 00:05:25,600 It's a good thing, too, because you ain't gonna find nobody better with numbers. 102 00:05:25,676 --> 00:05:27,644 [Chuckling] 103 00:05:27,712 --> 00:05:31,045 Especially when he's runnin' 'em. Mm-hmm. 104 00:05:31,115 --> 00:05:35,108 That damn jackass lost his parents in a crap game. 105 00:05:35,186 --> 00:05:40,089 Don't get too close to that sneaky weasel 'cause he'll steal the enamel off your tooth. 106 00:05:40,157 --> 00:05:42,648 I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard it from me. 107 00:05:42,727 --> 00:05:46,424 Wasn't there someone guarding the cash box that night? 108 00:05:46,497 --> 00:05:49,091 Mm-hmm! Leo! 109 00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:52,135 Le-le-le, le-le-le, le-le-le... Leo! 110 00:05:52,203 --> 00:05:54,933 [Laughing] 111 00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,997 I'm so proud of you! 112 00:05:57,074 --> 00:06:01,067 You guarded that cash box like a virgin on prom night! 113 00:06:02,346 --> 00:06:05,315 Then gave it up like a ho at a bachelor's party. 114 00:06:05,383 --> 00:06:08,580 Objection! Objection, Your Honor. 115 00:06:08,653 --> 00:06:12,214 Can't she just answer the question? This is getting ugly. 116 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:14,951 Ooh, he's one to talk. Talk about ugly. 117 00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:19,258 Look like somebody hit him upside the head with a bag of nickels. 118 00:06:19,330 --> 00:06:21,821 So ugly, last time he went to the proctologist... 119 00:06:21,899 --> 00:06:24,959 the doctor stuck his finger down his throat. 120 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:27,095 Order in this court! 121 00:06:27,171 --> 00:06:31,130 Do you have reason to believe there was involvement from the chairman of the committee... 122 00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:33,073 Miss Jenkins? 123 00:06:36,414 --> 00:06:40,043 Bailiff, some smelling salts, please! 124 00:06:43,187 --> 00:06:47,123 No, no, no! Not Miss Jenkins! Not Miss Jenkins! 125 00:06:47,191 --> 00:06:50,456 Honey, don't nobody better say nothin' bad about Miss Jenkins! 126 00:06:50,528 --> 00:06:53,019 I'm gonna walk through hell in a gasoline G-string... 127 00:06:53,097 --> 00:06:55,759 before I say somethin' bad about Miss Jenkins! 128 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:59,132 Lord, she's like a mother to me. Afine woman. 129 00:06:59,203 --> 00:07:02,536 Fine woman.! There's nothin'dirty about her.! 130 00:07:02,606 --> 00:07:06,406 Just don't go near her house. 131 00:07:06,477 --> 00:07:09,446 House so dusty, the roaches ride around in dune buggies. 132 00:07:11,048 --> 00:07:15,451 That is enough.! Don't make me pound this gavel again.! 133 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:17,544 Hmm, that ain't all she poundin'. 134 00:07:17,621 --> 00:07:19,418 I object! 135 00:07:19,490 --> 00:07:22,220 You didn't object when she took off her robe, went through your briefs... 136 00:07:22,293 --> 00:07:24,227 and laid down the law. 137 00:07:24,295 --> 00:07:27,093 I find you in contempt of court.! 138 00:07:27,164 --> 00:07:32,500 Uh-huh. And I found you doin' the humpty dance with 12 men in the bathroom. 139 00:07:32,570 --> 00:07:36,267 Get her out of here! This is a mistrial! 140 00:07:36,340 --> 00:07:39,832 Lock the door! Get a straitjacket! 141 00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:44,946 [All Arguing, Indistinct] 142 00:07:47,218 --> 00:07:49,448 ♪♪ [Hip-hop: Man Rapping] 143 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:18,905 ♪♪ [Ends] 144 00:08:20,618 --> 00:08:24,019 [Exaggerated British Accent] I know I'm supposed to cut an album. 145 00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:27,489 You don't think I know that? I've been writing songs. 146 00:08:27,558 --> 00:08:29,788 I write 10 songs a night. 147 00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:33,296 But when I sober up, they sound like nonsense. 148 00:08:33,364 --> 00:08:35,491 Words on a page! 149 00:08:35,566 --> 00:08:37,796 - I need inspiration, man. - ♪♪ [Guitar] 150 00:08:37,868 --> 00:08:42,271 I need someone who can really teach me the blues. 151 00:08:44,108 --> 00:08:48,408 Bingo! I think I just found what I've been looking for. 152 00:08:48,479 --> 00:08:51,676 ♪ Ah-ha-ha-ha ♪ 153 00:08:51,749 --> 00:08:54,115 Thank you very much.! 154 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,847 All right. It sure is good to be here. 155 00:08:56,921 --> 00:09:00,914 - Am I glad I found you. - Well, my name is Calhoun Tubbs. 156 00:09:00,991 --> 00:09:03,983 - Now, ain't you th-th-the boy from... - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 157 00:09:04,061 --> 00:09:07,519 - Listen. Look, I really need your help, okay? - Uh-huh. 158 00:09:07,598 --> 00:09:10,089 I gotta cut a blues album with all kinds of blues songs... 159 00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:12,362 and I don't know anything about the blues! 160 00:09:12,436 --> 00:09:16,532 N-N-N-N-N-Now, that ain't true, boy, 'cause everybody knows something about the blues. 161 00:09:16,607 --> 00:09:19,542 Not me. Look, I got money, women. 162 00:09:19,610 --> 00:09:22,101 - Where's the blues in all that? - Uh-huh. 163 00:09:22,179 --> 00:09:25,171 - But you... you're the real deal. - Well, thank you. 164 00:09:25,249 --> 00:09:29,879 I bet you came from one of them backwood shacks back in Mississippi. 165 00:09:29,954 --> 00:09:32,718 Now, actually, I'm from Baltimore. Mm-hmm. 166 00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:34,781 I ain't never been out in no woods... 167 00:09:34,859 --> 00:09:37,760 Well, I did go to the wood one time, but we were just camping. 168 00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:39,819 - So I don't really know. - Get off it. 169 00:09:39,897 --> 00:09:42,730 - I really... - I got money. I can pay you for your life experiences. 170 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:47,635 Well, now, I did say I was from Baltimore, Mississippi. Mm-hmm. 171 00:09:47,705 --> 00:09:50,503 Yeah. Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go. 172 00:09:52,042 --> 00:09:57,981 ♪ I could've been a dirt poor farmer in Mississippi, hey ♪ 173 00:09:58,048 --> 00:10:01,779 ♪ But I couldn't even afford the dirt ♪ 174 00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:05,379 ♪ Ah-ha-ha-ha ♪♪ Thank you very much! All right. 175 00:10:05,456 --> 00:10:08,152 - That's great, man! - Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. 176 00:10:08,225 --> 00:10:11,194 That is great. That's exactly what I'm talking about. 177 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,196 I need more of that. 178 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:16,256 I'll bet you were a junkie of some kind, and then you O.D.'d... 179 00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:19,928 and you puked right out, and then you choked on it. 180 00:10:20,004 --> 00:10:22,996 - Well, no. No. - On your own vomit. 181 00:10:23,073 --> 00:10:25,064 I ain't never t-took no pills. 182 00:10:25,142 --> 00:10:28,407 Only pill I done took was a Bufferin, man. I don't do... 183 00:10:28,479 --> 00:10:30,538 Get off it. 184 00:10:30,614 --> 00:10:35,210 I know all about the drugs. I'm high right now. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. 185 00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,278 Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes. 186 00:10:38,355 --> 00:10:42,758 ♪ I done shot so much drugs in the '60s ♪ 187 00:10:42,826 --> 00:10:47,195 ♪ I can still get high off the residue ♪ 188 00:10:47,264 --> 00:10:50,791 - ♪ Ah-ha-ha-ha ♪♪ Thank you very much! - Man! 189 00:10:50,868 --> 00:10:53,701 - All right. - You are blowing my mind, man! 190 00:10:53,771 --> 00:10:56,103 - Well, thank you. All right, now. - Oh, yes. 191 00:10:56,173 --> 00:10:59,472 You tapped into a great life, stuff... that whole blues thing. 192 00:10:59,543 --> 00:11:02,512 But I can't. I can't tap into it! 193 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,571 Now, sure, you can, boy. Everybody got some blues in them somewhere. 194 00:11:05,649 --> 00:11:09,278 You just got to know where to look. Mm-hmm. 195 00:11:09,353 --> 00:11:12,345 - Where? - Try your face, junior. 196 00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:17,258 Mm-hmm. Look here. That's enough to give me the blues right now. 197 00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:20,729 I ain't write no song about that, but I think I could right now. 198 00:11:20,798 --> 00:11:23,198 Like to hear it? Here it goes. 199 00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:27,567 ♪ Lord, you so damn ugly ♪ 200 00:11:27,638 --> 00:11:31,199 ♪ I don't know if that's your face or if your neck threw up ♪ 201 00:11:32,910 --> 00:11:35,470 ♪ Ah-ha-ha-ha ♪♪ 202 00:11:37,915 --> 00:11:42,409 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Whoa. You all right? You all right? 203 00:11:42,486 --> 00:11:46,047 Thank you very much! All right. Yeah. 204 00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,489 Well, that's good, man. That's really good. 205 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:50,584 But it doesn't make me feel blue. 206 00:11:50,661 --> 00:11:54,028 - I could have reconstructive surgery. - Uh-huh. 207 00:11:54,098 --> 00:11:57,192 I've got a beautiful girlfriend who loves me. 208 00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:59,758 Oh, wait, no. You got to stop right there. Put the brakes on it. 209 00:11:59,837 --> 00:12:02,897 You talking about the girl I seen you with last night on the news? 210 00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:05,965 No, man. I'm here to tell you, boy, that girl don't love you. 211 00:12:06,043 --> 00:12:09,012 - What? - Oh, no. Uh-uh. Mm-mmm. Wrote a song about it. 212 00:12:09,079 --> 00:12:11,013 Like to hear it? Here it go. 213 00:12:12,282 --> 00:12:16,013 ♪ Now, your girlfriend say she love you ♪ 214 00:12:16,086 --> 00:12:20,580 ♪ But I guess the four hours she done spent in the men's room with Axl Rose last night ♪ 215 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,922 ♪ Is the way that she likes to show it ♪ 216 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:27,452 ♪ Ah-ha-ha-ha ♪♪ Thank you very much! All right. 217 00:12:27,531 --> 00:12:30,523 Yeah, man, I done seen that with my own eyes, man. 218 00:12:30,601 --> 00:12:34,059 Butt naked. Mm-hmm. Sure enough. 219 00:12:34,138 --> 00:12:37,437 I don't believe it. That bitch! 220 00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:39,169 How could... How could she do that to me? 221 00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:42,770 Now, you see? Now you got the blues, man. Come on. Write a song about it! 222 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,644 Come on! Here we go. 223 00:12:45,716 --> 00:12:49,174 - There you go. Uh-huh. - All right. 224 00:12:49,253 --> 00:12:51,244 - Like to hear it? - Here we go. 225 00:12:51,321 --> 00:12:53,687 Here it goes! 226 00:12:53,757 --> 00:12:56,590 ♪ I got a smash hit, a million records ♪ 227 00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:59,458 ♪ That slut ain't gonna get a penny ♪ 228 00:12:59,530 --> 00:13:02,897 - [Falsetto] ♪ Yaaah ♪ - ♪ Ah-ha-ha-ha ♪♪ 229 00:13:02,966 --> 00:13:06,265 Bring it on. Don't get none on you though, man. 230 00:13:06,336 --> 00:13:09,100 There you go. Come on, man. Oh, yeah. 231 00:13:09,173 --> 00:13:11,107 Now you startin' to scare me. 232 00:13:11,175 --> 00:13:13,109 Come on back, now. Come on back. 233 00:13:13,177 --> 00:13:15,907 ♪ She may think she gave me a case of jealousy ♪ 234 00:13:15,979 --> 00:13:20,575 ♪ But what she really gonna need is a case of penicillin ♪ 235 00:13:20,651 --> 00:13:24,781 ♪ Yaah, yaah, yaah, yaah, yaah yaah, yaah ♪ 236 00:13:24,855 --> 00:13:29,087 ♪ Yaah ♪♪ [High-pitched Scream] 237 00:13:29,159 --> 00:13:31,150 You through? 238 00:13:32,429 --> 00:13:34,863 I think I broke a blood vessel. 239 00:13:34,932 --> 00:13:37,628 - You all right? - Yeah. 240 00:13:37,701 --> 00:13:40,397 - Thanks a lot, man. - You all right? Oh, yeah, well... Gotta go? 241 00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:44,134 - You're really great. - Look here, you forgot your... 242 00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:48,803 Yeah! 243 00:13:48,879 --> 00:13:52,212 ♪ While he got the blues ♪ 244 00:13:52,282 --> 00:13:54,682 ♪ I got all the money ♪♪ 245 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,742 ♪♪ [Man Rapping] 246 00:13:56,820 --> 00:14:00,688 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 247 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,850 ♪♪ [Man Rapping] 248 00:14:19,576 --> 00:14:24,727 ♪♪ [Ends] 249 00:14:27,129 --> 00:14:30,690 [Wind Whistling] 250 00:14:30,766 --> 00:14:34,463 This is the night Charles Pack becomes a star reporter. 251 00:14:34,537 --> 00:14:37,438 I am about to spend a long, cold winter's night... 252 00:14:37,507 --> 00:14:40,271 with an actual street person. 253 00:14:40,343 --> 00:14:44,677 Okay. Come down to their level. Take the tie off. 254 00:14:44,747 --> 00:14:46,977 Lose the tie. Okay. 255 00:14:52,688 --> 00:14:56,647 - Anybody home? - [Man] Shh-no.! 256 00:14:57,793 --> 00:15:00,057 - Hello? - Who is it? 257 00:15:00,129 --> 00:15:02,154 Uh, Charles Pack, uh, Herald. 258 00:15:02,231 --> 00:15:05,462 Go away.! I gave at the office. 259 00:15:05,535 --> 00:15:08,595 Uh, if you let me in, I'll give you 20 bucks. 260 00:15:10,373 --> 00:15:13,308 Su casa es mi casa. 261 00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:18,605 Come on in. Why don't you wipe your feet on the mat? 262 00:15:19,749 --> 00:15:21,944 Where's the mat? 263 00:15:22,018 --> 00:15:24,282 Hey, thanks, Matt. 264 00:15:25,721 --> 00:15:27,655 You're welcome. 265 00:15:32,728 --> 00:15:36,994 - Oh, uh, here's your $20. - I was about to say, "Where's the money?" 266 00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:40,365 - [Chuckles] - My name is Charles. 267 00:15:40,436 --> 00:15:43,894 - Your name's Charles. - Yeah. And what is your name, sir? 268 00:15:43,973 --> 00:15:47,534 [Screaming] 269 00:15:47,610 --> 00:15:50,101 - Testing: One, two. Aah! - Uh... 270 00:15:50,179 --> 00:15:54,411 My name is Anton Jackson, formerly of theJackson 5. 271 00:15:54,483 --> 00:15:58,476 I'm JoeJackson's secret love child. 272 00:15:58,554 --> 00:16:00,579 Watch this. Hold that. 273 00:16:00,656 --> 00:16:03,216 Ho! Ho! 274 00:16:08,164 --> 00:16:10,155 This is incredible stuff. 275 00:16:10,232 --> 00:16:14,259 Uh, Mr. Jackson, I'm doing an exposé on the streets. 276 00:16:14,337 --> 00:16:19,866 Oh, an exposé. Well, I happened to exposéd myself on several streets. 277 00:16:19,942 --> 00:16:23,537 No, no. See, I'd like to spend the night with you. 278 00:16:27,984 --> 00:16:30,976 You're awfully forward there, sir. 279 00:16:31,053 --> 00:16:33,681 You don't beat around the bush, do you? 280 00:16:33,756 --> 00:16:37,192 Is Clarence spreading those rumors about me? 281 00:16:37,259 --> 00:16:41,161 He's a liar. He's a liar with cold feet. 282 00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:43,357 - No, no, no. You don't understand. - Aaah! 283 00:16:43,432 --> 00:16:46,663 I'm doing a cover story, and, see, what my readers would like to know is, like... 284 00:16:46,736 --> 00:16:50,467 how do you make it out here on the streets, how do you do this whole thing? 285 00:16:50,539 --> 00:16:52,507 - Oh, how I survive. - Yeah. 286 00:16:52,575 --> 00:16:55,635 Well, actually it's not that bad until it rains. 287 00:16:55,711 --> 00:16:59,203 Then we got that problem. But this is pretty comfortable. 288 00:16:59,281 --> 00:17:02,910 See all this Early American furniture I got around here? 289 00:17:02,985 --> 00:17:04,919 This is Early American? 290 00:17:04,987 --> 00:17:08,650 If you don't get there early, the garbage man will take it away. 291 00:17:10,593 --> 00:17:13,357 But how do you make it without modern appliances? 292 00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:17,126 Ah, that's no problem. See, I can make a call. Watch, I'm gonna make a call. 293 00:17:17,199 --> 00:17:20,032 I can't believe this. This man has hooked up a telephone. 294 00:17:20,102 --> 00:17:22,730 - This is incredible. - Hey, Joe! 295 00:17:22,805 --> 00:17:24,966 Where are you? 296 00:17:25,041 --> 00:17:29,944 - I'm on the other line. I'll call you back. - All right. 297 00:17:30,012 --> 00:17:35,006 Okay, but what about when you want to unwind? Some of this human stuff? 298 00:17:35,084 --> 00:17:39,282 Well, that's simple. I just watch my entertainment system over here. 299 00:17:39,355 --> 00:17:43,416 I sit in front, and from here I can see... 300 00:17:43,492 --> 00:17:47,485 When I get up in the morning I watch Good Morning, Skid Row. 301 00:17:48,898 --> 00:17:52,231 And then later on, when the mission lets out... 302 00:17:52,301 --> 00:17:54,701 it turns into Cops... 303 00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:58,831 and about midnight we see the adult channel. 304 00:17:58,908 --> 00:18:02,241 Plus I got cable. You want to see the cable? 305 00:18:02,311 --> 00:18:04,802 HolyJe... Did you see that guy get sucker punched? 306 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,371 Oh, that's pay-per-view. 307 00:18:10,786 --> 00:18:14,278 You'll have to cough up a couple more dollars if you want to see that. 308 00:18:14,356 --> 00:18:17,154 Okay. Uh, listen. 309 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:20,389 Do you ever yearn for the luxuries of life? 310 00:18:20,463 --> 00:18:24,194 Well, I got everything a man needs to survive. 311 00:18:24,266 --> 00:18:28,930 Let me show you something over here in the west wing of the estate. 312 00:18:29,004 --> 00:18:31,802 This here's my two-cart garage. 313 00:18:34,643 --> 00:18:36,907 [Imitating Car Alarm Chirping] 314 00:18:36,979 --> 00:18:38,970 This is great stuff. 315 00:18:42,718 --> 00:18:45,278 Why don't you join me for dinner? 316 00:18:45,354 --> 00:18:47,788 I was just about to sit down and have some dinner. 317 00:18:47,857 --> 00:18:49,848 Okay. What are you having? 318 00:18:49,925 --> 00:18:54,555 I'm-a have takeout. What do you want... Italian or Chinese? 319 00:18:54,630 --> 00:18:56,894 [Chuckling] Uh, Chinese is fine. 320 00:18:56,966 --> 00:18:58,957 This is unbelievable, folks. 321 00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:02,231 This man, who has nothing, is offering me take-out food. 322 00:19:02,304 --> 00:19:05,296 - Okay. - Oh, God.! 323 00:19:05,374 --> 00:19:07,308 That's Chinese. 324 00:19:07,376 --> 00:19:11,904 If you want some more, you take it out of the garbage yourself. 325 00:19:11,981 --> 00:19:16,816 - You want Panda? - No, that's... Yeah, I ate. 326 00:19:19,388 --> 00:19:22,118 It's like National Geographic, ladies and gentlemen. 327 00:19:22,191 --> 00:19:26,184 Why don't you make yourself... Come here. Let me make you up the guest bed. 328 00:19:28,464 --> 00:19:31,956 You see this? Here's the sheet. 329 00:19:34,770 --> 00:19:36,761 You can use that as a blanket. 330 00:19:36,839 --> 00:19:39,831 And here, I was gonna use this as toilet paper... 331 00:19:39,909 --> 00:19:42,776 but you can use it as a pillow. 332 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,746 That's very thoughtful. So I just, uh... I sleep on the floor right here. 333 00:19:48,818 --> 00:19:52,811 Yeah, you just lay on down. I'm gonna do the same. You just do what I do. 334 00:19:53,989 --> 00:19:55,923 Oh. 335 00:19:56,992 --> 00:20:00,985 Damn, this toenail harder than a Ginsu. 336 00:20:09,004 --> 00:20:11,063 - Lying here... - [Groaning] 337 00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:13,973 Lying here in a pit of despair... 338 00:20:16,178 --> 00:20:20,581 I can almost smell the stench of the loneliness, the poverty... 339 00:20:20,649 --> 00:20:24,141 the putrid aroma of lost dreams... 340 00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:26,279 and lost souls. 341 00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:28,289 [Grunts] 342 00:20:31,894 --> 00:20:35,557 The, uh... I think I'm starting... 343 00:20:35,631 --> 00:20:38,600 It makes me nauseous. 344 00:20:38,667 --> 00:20:41,295 It's slightly overwhelming. 345 00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:44,362 Brings tears to my eyes. 346 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,931 Having trouble focusing. 347 00:20:47,009 --> 00:20:49,341 [Gasps] The thought of spending... 348 00:20:49,411 --> 00:20:52,073 I'm not looking forward to this, ladies and gentlemen. I'm really not. 349 00:20:52,147 --> 00:20:55,173 But I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna hang in, and I'm gonna make it. 350 00:20:55,251 --> 00:20:57,242 [Gagging] Oh, God! 351 00:21:00,055 --> 00:21:02,353 I'm sorry. Oh, God. Oh, God. 352 00:21:02,424 --> 00:21:04,358 You can't sleep. 353 00:21:04,426 --> 00:21:07,190 I'm gonna have to use the bathroom. Where's the bathroom? 354 00:21:07,263 --> 00:21:09,754 Oh, here it is right here. 355 00:21:09,832 --> 00:21:11,959 [Loud Gagging] 356 00:21:12,034 --> 00:21:13,968 Hey! 357 00:21:14,036 --> 00:21:17,096 Hey, my man.! What about the story? 358 00:21:18,173 --> 00:21:21,574 ♪ Livin'just enough ♪ 359 00:21:21,644 --> 00:21:24,636 ♪Just enough for the city ♪ 360 00:21:24,713 --> 00:21:26,874 ♪Just enough ♪ 361 00:21:26,949 --> 00:21:29,543 ♪ Livin' for the city ♪♪ 362 00:21:30,019 --> 00:21:32,817 Hey, we want to thank you all for hanging out with us tonight. 363 00:21:32,888 --> 00:21:34,879 - We had a good time. Tommy. - Stop, boy. 364 00:21:34,957 --> 00:21:37,448 - Say good night. - See you next week. 365 00:21:37,526 --> 00:21:41,121 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 31069

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