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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,081 [Man Announcing] New this fall on Fox... 2 00:00:05,156 --> 00:00:09,593 it's Kung Fu Master '91: The Adventure Continues. 3 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:14,792 Grasshopper, when you can grab this pebble from my hand... 4 00:00:14,866 --> 00:00:17,892 it will be time for you to leave. 5 00:00:21,539 --> 00:00:23,734 Sorry, not this time. 6 00:00:23,808 --> 00:00:26,276 Oh, come on, Ancient Master. 7 00:00:26,344 --> 00:00:29,871 It's been almost 20 years. I gotta get outta here! 8 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:33,405 Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we just say I grabbed it? 9 00:00:33,484 --> 00:00:35,975 We don't have to tell anybody. It'd be my little secret. 10 00:00:36,054 --> 00:00:38,386 I cannot do that. 11 00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:42,586 Remember, as it is written: 12 00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:45,185 "Life is a mystery. 13 00:00:45,263 --> 00:00:47,663 "Everyone must stand alone. 14 00:00:47,732 --> 00:00:50,030 "I hear you call my name... 15 00:00:50,101 --> 00:00:53,764 "and it feels like home... 16 00:00:53,838 --> 00:00:55,829 just like a prayer." 17 00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:59,100 In other words... 18 00:00:59,177 --> 00:01:03,136 you don't graduate until you grab this pebble. 19 00:01:08,286 --> 00:01:11,016 All right. Wow, look over there. 20 00:01:11,089 --> 00:01:14,149 - It's Julia Roberts and Jason Patric! - Where? 21 00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:17,718 Nice try. 22 00:01:17,795 --> 00:01:23,700 - Now let Aikido have his turn. - Good luck. 23 00:01:23,768 --> 00:01:28,501 Are you still on pebble grabbing? Damn. Watch it, Compton style. 24 00:01:32,944 --> 00:01:35,777 Congratulations, Aikido! 25 00:01:37,982 --> 00:01:41,281 You are now ready to move on. 26 00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:46,085 All right, what do you want? A hundred? Two hundred? Lakers season tickets? Front row! 27 00:01:46,157 --> 00:01:51,527 I'm sorry, Grasshopper. But as it is written in the ancient scroll... 28 00:01:51,596 --> 00:01:54,565 "It's it, and that's that." 29 00:01:56,134 --> 00:02:00,298 Okay. I didn't want it to come to this. 30 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:02,566 Gimme the stone! 31 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,631 Right now! 32 00:02:05,643 --> 00:02:07,941 - Whoo! - I got it! Uuh! 33 00:02:09,447 --> 00:02:14,749 Remember, somewhere between love and madness lies obsession. 34 00:02:16,154 --> 00:02:18,645 Yes! Yes, Master! 35 00:02:18,723 --> 00:02:22,056 I understand now. I'm ready! 36 00:02:22,126 --> 00:02:24,219 [Groaning] 37 00:02:24,295 --> 00:02:26,820 Master? Master? 38 00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:31,197 Oh, God! Oh, my God! 39 00:02:31,269 --> 00:02:33,931 [Grunting] 40 00:02:40,511 --> 00:02:43,207 - Aah! - [Laughing] 41 00:02:43,281 --> 00:02:46,273 You always fall for that one! 42 00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:50,650 Now, Grasshopper, go serve the other students their lunch. 43 00:02:50,721 --> 00:02:53,189 - All right, already! - [Laughing] 44 00:02:56,928 --> 00:03:00,227 Aah! Aah! 45 00:03:00,298 --> 00:03:02,858 Ow, that's hot! 46 00:03:03,868 --> 00:03:06,336 Ohh! 47 00:03:06,404 --> 00:03:09,271 [Announcer] Join us next week for more exciting adventures of... 48 00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:11,740 Kung Fu Master '91. 49 00:03:14,545 --> 00:03:15,534 - How you livin'? - What? 50 00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:16,705 - How you livin'? - What? 51 00:03:16,781 --> 00:03:18,908 - How you livin'? - ♪ In living color♪ 52 00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:24,921 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 53 00:03:24,989 --> 00:03:29,585 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 54 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:32,891 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 55 00:03:32,964 --> 00:03:38,129 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 56 00:03:38,202 --> 00:03:40,170 - ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 57 00:03:40,238 --> 00:03:42,468 - ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 58 00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:45,031 ♪ Here comes another one of those funky, funny mo'money shows ♪ 59 00:03:45,109 --> 00:03:46,599 ♪ A cast for laughs and talented roles ♪ 60 00:03:46,677 --> 00:03:48,804 ♪ And sisters with twisters for you been lookin', listener♪ 61 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,007 ♪ It seems you don't believe so you can believe what I convince ya ♪ 62 00:03:51,082 --> 00:03:53,016 ♪ Some booty to your short and thought We'll make it snappy ♪ 63 00:03:53,084 --> 00:03:55,279 ♪ With jokes and pokes at folks to keep you happy ♪ 64 00:03:55,353 --> 00:03:57,412 ♪ No need to hold your remote control ♪ 65 00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,422 ♪ Chill This show's got soul ♪ 66 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,720 ♪ All aboard, all aboard The train never troubles ♪ 67 00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:03,157 ♪ You'd better snuggle up couple up ♪ 68 00:04:03,227 --> 00:04:05,024 - ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 69 00:04:05,096 --> 00:04:08,156 ♪ It's hard to believe but some of the best things in life are free ♪ 70 00:04:08,232 --> 00:04:10,325 ♪ So, fellas, grab your girl Tell her that you love her♪ 71 00:04:10,401 --> 00:04:12,926 ♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin' when you're livin'in living color♪ 72 00:04:13,004 --> 00:04:16,167 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 73 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:22,076 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 74 00:04:22,146 --> 00:04:26,378 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 75 00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:27,883 ♪ Go, go, go ♪ 76 00:04:27,952 --> 00:04:30,079 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪♪ 77 00:04:47,405 --> 00:04:50,636 Ah, Minister Farrakhan, I'm certainly looking forward to the game today. 78 00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:54,906 Well, Al Sharpton, the regular manager of the baseball team is sick today... 79 00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:57,209 and the owner wants you to fill in. 80 00:04:57,281 --> 00:05:00,717 And it's important that you become familiar with all the players' names... 81 00:05:00,785 --> 00:05:03,083 especially since some of them are a little strange. 82 00:05:03,154 --> 00:05:06,419 - Oh, I'm down. - That's right. I'm Down is sick, so you'll be taking his place. 83 00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,424 - Say what? - Saywhat's over in right field. 84 00:05:08,492 --> 00:05:10,619 - So who's on first? - No, Jews on first. 85 00:05:10,695 --> 00:05:12,629 - Says who? - The owner, Whitey. 86 00:05:12,697 --> 00:05:15,689 - Whitey's on the team? - That's right, with Jews on first... 87 00:05:15,766 --> 00:05:20,135 Theman is on second, Mr. Charlie at shortstop, and It's Aconspiracy at third. 88 00:05:20,204 --> 00:05:24,004 - Now, wait a minute. Who's at shortstop? - Mr. Charlie. 89 00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:27,567 - But, now, isn't that a conspiracy? - No, Aconspiracy's at third. 90 00:05:27,645 --> 00:05:29,875 - So then, who's at first? - No, Jews on first. 91 00:05:29,947 --> 00:05:31,881 - Preach on. - Preachon is pitching. 92 00:05:31,949 --> 00:05:36,386 - Say what, my brother? - Saywhat's right field. Mybrother is catching. 93 00:05:36,454 --> 00:05:40,754 So, now, Mybrother's catching. 94 00:05:40,825 --> 00:05:43,157 Right on. So where's Aconspiracy? Preach on. 95 00:05:43,227 --> 00:05:48,324 No, Righton is in left field, Aconspiracy is at third, and Mybrother is catching, Preachon. 96 00:05:48,399 --> 00:05:51,027 - Preach on? - That's right, Preachon. 97 00:05:51,102 --> 00:05:53,730 - Amen. - Is playing center field. 98 00:05:55,039 --> 00:05:56,973 - Say what? - In right field. 99 00:05:57,041 --> 00:05:58,975 - Says who? - Whitey. 100 00:05:59,043 --> 00:06:02,444 - Preach on! - Preachon is pitching to Mybrother. 101 00:06:02,513 --> 00:06:05,311 So, uh, Jews on first? 102 00:06:05,383 --> 00:06:08,079 - I'm down. - I thought you said he was the old manager. 103 00:06:08,152 --> 00:06:11,485 - No, I'm just saying, "I'm down." - I'm Down, what? Is at first? 104 00:06:11,555 --> 00:06:14,718 - No, Jews on first. - So, Jews on first... 105 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:18,284 Theman is at second, Mr. Charlie is the shortstop, and then It's Aconspiracy. 106 00:06:18,362 --> 00:06:20,330 - Amen, my brother. - Center field and catcher. 107 00:06:20,398 --> 00:06:23,424 - Say what? - Amen and Righton. Now, that takes care of the outfield. 108 00:06:23,501 --> 00:06:26,993 - Righton and Amen. - So, where is the conspiracy? 109 00:06:27,071 --> 00:06:29,505 Between Mybrother and Theman. 110 00:06:29,573 --> 00:06:31,507 - According to who? - Whitey and Jews. 111 00:06:31,575 --> 00:06:35,636 See, this is all the work of Whitey's and Jews. 112 00:06:35,713 --> 00:06:39,171 Now, I understand Whitey, but why theJews? 113 00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:42,219 - BecauseJews is also captain. - Over Mybrother? 114 00:06:42,286 --> 00:06:44,777 - Right on. - And amen and preach on, my brother. 115 00:06:44,855 --> 00:06:48,052 This is more confusing than the Tawana Brawley trial. 116 00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:21,285 Johnny? Johnny, is that you? 117 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:25,294 Oh, Johnny, it's been so long. I thought you'd never come back. 118 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:29,662 - Why, you're notJohnny! - Yeah, I know. 119 00:07:29,734 --> 00:07:33,192 Tell your story walking, pal, or I'll have the hotel dick up here so quick, you'll... 120 00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:37,297 Look here, babe, you better chill, all right? You better chill, 'cause I will... 121 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:40,866 l... Baby, I will brush you to death. 122 00:07:40,945 --> 00:07:44,142 Baby? Why, no sentimental sap on earth... 123 00:07:44,215 --> 00:07:48,242 would call me baby, except one person alone... Johnny. 124 00:07:48,319 --> 00:07:51,618 He sent you, didn't he? Oh, of course. I should've realized. 125 00:07:51,689 --> 00:07:54,453 Oh, what did he say? Tell me everything. I want to hear every word. 126 00:07:54,525 --> 00:07:58,291 Uh, he said for you not to call the police... 127 00:07:58,362 --> 00:08:02,059 no matter what you do, and just forget this ever happened. 128 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:05,569 Oh, nuts. I could never forgetJohnny. 129 00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:08,434 Why, I'm the only one in the world who really understands him. 130 00:08:08,506 --> 00:08:11,407 Oh, take me to him, won't you? You've got to. 131 00:08:11,475 --> 00:08:16,310 Oh, tell me everything. Tell me what he said. Tell me what he needs! 132 00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:18,575 Well... 133 00:08:18,649 --> 00:08:21,482 Well, actually, what he need is, Johnny needs some money. 134 00:08:21,552 --> 00:08:26,717 Money? Why, is that all? The big lug. 135 00:08:26,791 --> 00:08:30,158 No, not just money. He need, uh, credit cards, VCRs... 136 00:08:30,227 --> 00:08:35,028 uh, camcorders, and he been cravin' for this Rolex. 137 00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:39,195 Well, I suppose I do have a few baubles, a few trinkets, a few shiny souvenirs. 138 00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:41,363 They may seem meaningless to you... 139 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,963 but they've brought a handful of happiness to this lonely heart. 140 00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:47,909 Hey, hold it. This ain't one of them Totally Hidden Video things like that, is it? 141 00:08:47,978 --> 00:08:52,415 Oh, Johnny. I remember the day he left as though it was yesterday. 142 00:08:52,483 --> 00:08:54,781 He stood right at that door, and said to me, " Velma... 143 00:08:54,852 --> 00:08:58,015 I'm going out for a dozen roses, a pack of cigarettes and a quart of gin." 144 00:08:58,088 --> 00:09:01,854 Then he slipped me five bucks and told me to buy myself something pretty. 145 00:09:01,926 --> 00:09:04,190 I've been waiting here ever since. 146 00:09:04,261 --> 00:09:06,991 You don't have that five dollars with you, do you? 147 00:09:07,064 --> 00:09:09,191 Oh, take it. Take it all. 148 00:09:09,266 --> 00:09:12,030 Don't you see? Nothing means anything to me butJohnny. 149 00:09:12,102 --> 00:09:14,627 Oh, I miss him so! [Sobbing] Oh, Johnny! 150 00:09:14,705 --> 00:09:18,163 [Mock Sobbing] Oh, Johnny! Oh! 151 00:09:18,242 --> 00:09:20,176 Oh, Johnny! 152 00:09:20,244 --> 00:09:23,805 I'm Oprah, girl. Let it out, girl. Caller, you say... 153 00:09:23,881 --> 00:09:26,543 - Oh, Johnny! - Oh! [Blubbering] 154 00:09:26,617 --> 00:09:28,881 Ah, Johnny! 155 00:09:29,887 --> 00:09:31,821 Johnny! 156 00:09:31,889 --> 00:09:34,824 You will take me to him, won't you? You've got to. 157 00:09:34,892 --> 00:09:37,258 I simply won't take "no" for an answer. 158 00:09:37,328 --> 00:09:39,888 I'll just get my wrap and be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail. 159 00:09:39,964 --> 00:09:43,866 Hey, listen. Hold on, sweetie. Look, look. I'm gonna run and get some roses... 160 00:09:43,934 --> 00:09:49,270 and some cigarettes and a quart of gin, and I'll be right back for you, all right? 161 00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:51,501 All right, kid. 162 00:09:51,575 --> 00:09:54,305 You don't have to spell it out for me. 163 00:09:54,378 --> 00:09:56,744 I wasn't born yesterday, you know. 164 00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:05,453 Hey. Here's five dollars. 165 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,683 Go get you something pretty. 166 00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:16,228 That's right, kid. Go on without me. 167 00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:20,327 It's better that way. I'll only slow you down. 168 00:10:20,404 --> 00:10:22,895 But give a message toJohnny for me. 169 00:10:22,973 --> 00:10:25,271 Tell him I love him. Tell him I'll wait right here. 170 00:10:25,342 --> 00:10:27,401 I'd wait a thousand years. 171 00:10:27,478 --> 00:10:29,537 Oh, Johnny. 172 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,811 I'd wait forever for you. 173 00:10:43,807 --> 00:10:45,968 Now, let me get this straight: 174 00:10:46,042 --> 00:10:48,977 You're looking for someone called the Gibberish Killer... 175 00:10:49,045 --> 00:10:52,811 who leaves nonsensical notes on his victim's bodies. 176 00:10:52,882 --> 00:10:56,443 That's correct, which is why I need to speak to the doctor immediately. 177 00:10:56,519 --> 00:11:00,387 He could give me a psychological profile of this nut so we can catch him... 178 00:11:00,457 --> 00:11:03,984 - before he murders again. - [Laughs] Oh, my darling Ms. Starling. 179 00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:07,154 Let me first say this man is very dangerous. 180 00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:10,063 If you're not careful, he could... 181 00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:12,124 psychologically destroy you. 182 00:11:12,202 --> 00:11:14,136 [Laughs] 183 00:11:14,204 --> 00:11:17,230 My four years at the academy weren't exactly a charm school, Doctor. 184 00:11:17,307 --> 00:11:21,641 - I think I can handle him. - Well, here we are. 185 00:11:21,711 --> 00:11:25,943 Ms. Starling, meet Oswald Bates. 186 00:11:26,015 --> 00:11:30,008 I'll just leave you two alone to get better acquainted. 187 00:11:35,992 --> 00:11:40,622 Mr. Bates, My name is Special Agent Clarice Starling. 188 00:11:40,697 --> 00:11:43,564 I'd like to ask you a few questions, sir. 189 00:11:43,633 --> 00:11:45,726 I said, I need your help, Mr. Bates. 190 00:11:45,802 --> 00:11:47,793 [Sniffs] 191 00:11:48,972 --> 00:11:53,272 I can specify your Kunta Kinte from here. 192 00:11:53,343 --> 00:11:57,245 If you're referring to my cologne, sir, it's called "Obsession"... 193 00:11:57,313 --> 00:11:59,907 something I'm sure you're not unfamiliar with. 194 00:11:59,983 --> 00:12:03,612 Ah, douché! Or should I say Summer's Eve? 195 00:12:06,389 --> 00:12:10,723 Your psychological games won't work with me, Doctor. I'm immune. 196 00:12:11,928 --> 00:12:14,396 Ovulate! 197 00:12:14,464 --> 00:12:16,455 Great. 198 00:12:16,533 --> 00:12:21,197 I'd like you to take a look at this and see if you can make anything out of it. 199 00:12:22,472 --> 00:12:24,463 [Sniffs] 200 00:12:28,778 --> 00:12:32,111 "I will Pepto Bismolize... 201 00:12:32,182 --> 00:12:34,480 "and Betty Crockalize... 202 00:12:34,551 --> 00:12:39,420 "any spermeation of my smegmatic taxicab... 203 00:12:39,489 --> 00:12:42,754 excuse me, maxi pad." 204 00:12:46,296 --> 00:12:48,423 The man is sick. 205 00:12:48,498 --> 00:12:50,693 I realize that, sir. 206 00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:53,998 That's why I need your help. Where is he going to strike next? 207 00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:57,039 First "proctologize" yourself... 208 00:12:57,106 --> 00:13:00,940 in his "Rico Suavematic" gyrations. 209 00:13:01,010 --> 00:13:05,811 Okay. Okay, yeah, so... No, I'm sorry, you're gonna have to give me more than that. 210 00:13:05,882 --> 00:13:08,373 Kleenex! You're not constipating! 211 00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:14,846 "Imogene Cocalize" the slaughter of the lambada! 212 00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:17,586 Of course! Albuquerque! 213 00:13:17,660 --> 00:13:20,891 That would be in line with his fascination for polysyllabic non sequiturs. 214 00:13:20,964 --> 00:13:22,955 Ex-Lax-cidy! 215 00:13:23,032 --> 00:13:25,626 And now, you must spew... 216 00:13:25,702 --> 00:13:29,160 your liquids for me! 217 00:13:29,239 --> 00:13:32,800 Let me put it to you this way, Doctor. 218 00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:36,072 The "testicuality" of the atmosphere, uh... 219 00:13:36,145 --> 00:13:40,707 excuse me... pap smear... is not "juicified" to the, uh... 220 00:13:41,718 --> 00:13:43,845 Oh, what's the word? Uh... 221 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,788 - "Deflecation." - Yes, "deflecation" of your circumcision. 222 00:13:47,857 --> 00:13:50,291 That... That's all I can do. 223 00:13:58,935 --> 00:14:02,063 Oh! Oh! Oh! 224 00:14:02,138 --> 00:14:04,299 I can smell your feet! 225 00:14:09,879 --> 00:14:12,609 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 226 00:14:12,682 --> 00:14:16,812 ♪♪ [Man Rapping] 227 00:14:37,106 --> 00:14:38,937 ♪♪ [Ends] 228 00:14:40,643 --> 00:14:42,804 [Announcer] Previously on In Living Color. 229 00:14:42,879 --> 00:14:46,679 - Oh! Oh! - Oh, my Lord! 230 00:14:50,553 --> 00:14:53,283 Blayne! [Crying] Blayne! 231 00:14:53,356 --> 00:14:56,382 Blayne! Blayne! 232 00:14:56,459 --> 00:15:02,420 Call a doctor. I think he needs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 233 00:15:02,498 --> 00:15:04,557 Hey, hey, hey, man, hey! 234 00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:07,967 What you doin', man? 235 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:10,597 Blayne? Blayne, are you okay? 236 00:15:10,673 --> 00:15:15,667 Yeah, I'm all right. What's up with you? What's these funny clothes about, man? 237 00:15:15,745 --> 00:15:19,738 - Let's finish the show. Finish the show. - Okay. [Clears Throat] 238 00:15:19,816 --> 00:15:24,378 Finally, we come to that sly Fox of a network... 239 00:15:24,454 --> 00:15:27,719 and their show Married with Children. 240 00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:30,759 - Loved it. - Hated it. 241 00:15:30,827 --> 00:15:33,853 What you talkin' 'bout, "hated it"? Man, that girl is fine. The blonde one? 242 00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:38,390 With the... The blonde? Look like she hidin' two midgets, man. 243 00:15:40,970 --> 00:15:43,564 Blonde? Midget? 244 00:15:43,639 --> 00:15:45,630 Ohh! 245 00:15:51,414 --> 00:15:55,407 [Announcer] Cable access channel 96 presents Men On Film. 246 00:16:00,990 --> 00:16:04,391 - Hello, I'm Blayne Edwards. - And I'm Antoine Merrywether. 247 00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:06,451 [Together] And welcome to Men On Film. 248 00:16:06,529 --> 00:16:09,157 The show that looks at movies from a guy's point of view. 249 00:16:09,232 --> 00:16:11,393 Uh, you mean, from a male point of view. 250 00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:13,901 Yeah, male's or guy's... guy's point of view. 251 00:16:13,970 --> 00:16:17,770 - Huh. Heh! We have a new sponsor. - Gaytorade. 252 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:21,742 It's for that deep-down body thirst. 253 00:16:21,811 --> 00:16:24,905 Now packed to the brim with natural protein. Mm! 254 00:16:26,549 --> 00:16:28,744 Tonight we're gonna look at summer blockbusters. 255 00:16:28,818 --> 00:16:31,048 Our first film up is City Slickers. 256 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,146 Oh, this is a film about li'I Billy Crystal... 257 00:16:34,223 --> 00:16:36,783 who finds the real man inside of him... 258 00:16:36,859 --> 00:16:40,124 by going west and putting on some of those leather chaps... 259 00:16:40,196 --> 00:16:42,494 and joining in a cattle drive. 260 00:16:42,565 --> 00:16:46,729 I loved this film, all that dust and perspiration. 261 00:16:46,803 --> 00:16:49,829 I got saddle sore just watching it. You want to see? 262 00:16:49,906 --> 00:16:53,865 No. Um... [Chuckles] I didn't really pay much attention... 263 00:16:53,943 --> 00:16:56,878 'cause once they started with the cows and stuff, I just got into my girl. 264 00:16:56,946 --> 00:17:02,350 I had this young lady with me. We's, like, mackin' it out and stuff, man. [Laughs] 265 00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:07,515 Everybody got what they wanted. Billy even got to take home that little calf, Norman. 266 00:17:07,590 --> 00:17:12,357 Yeah, I bet they had veal chops that night. [Laughing] Veal... They killed... The burger... 267 00:17:12,428 --> 00:17:17,730 Oh, just hush. I could just spank you with a cat-o'-nine-tails. 268 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,791 - Oh, look! There goes Charo. - Where? 269 00:17:19,869 --> 00:17:21,359 - Keep looking. - Where? 270 00:17:21,437 --> 00:17:23,428 - Keep looking. - Where? 271 00:17:25,107 --> 00:17:27,098 Hello in there! 272 00:17:28,678 --> 00:17:31,203 - I'm sorry. - Don't do that again. 273 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,271 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 274 00:17:33,349 --> 00:17:37,285 I thought there was a stink bug on your head. 275 00:17:39,555 --> 00:17:42,581 I'm warning you, Tony. Don't do that again, man. 276 00:17:42,658 --> 00:17:45,593 The next film up is Kevin Costner's action-adventure flick... 277 00:17:45,661 --> 00:17:47,652 Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. 278 00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,960 I felt this film went off the track... 279 00:17:50,032 --> 00:17:52,193 when cute little Kevin Costner... 280 00:17:52,268 --> 00:17:56,534 went to save that screwball Maid Marian. 281 00:17:56,606 --> 00:17:59,769 Uck! The real story was in the dank, dark... 282 00:17:59,842 --> 00:18:02,333 moist, moss-strewn thickets... 283 00:18:02,411 --> 00:18:04,811 of Sherwood Forest. 284 00:18:04,881 --> 00:18:08,009 Did these Merry Men sleep together? Play together? 285 00:18:08,084 --> 00:18:12,851 Bathe together? Dry their throbbing muscles off together? 286 00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:16,154 Enquiring minds would like to know. 287 00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:18,659 And a tip to the producers: When you release the video... 288 00:18:18,728 --> 00:18:23,427 let us see some more of little Kevin's flaming arrow, por favor. 289 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,229 You wouldn't happen to be... Nah! 290 00:18:28,304 --> 00:18:30,602 - Go ahead, say it. - [Laughs] 291 00:18:30,673 --> 00:18:32,834 - I dare you. - You're wrong. That's what it is. 292 00:18:32,909 --> 00:18:37,812 You wouldn't happen to be wrong? I think Maid Marian was fine, and... 293 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,873 - Tony, don't get mad, man. What are you... - Aah! Oww! 294 00:18:43,819 --> 00:18:46,686 - I'm sorry. - Oh! 295 00:18:47,690 --> 00:18:49,681 Thank you. 296 00:18:52,895 --> 00:18:55,125 Next up, Truth or Dare. 297 00:18:55,197 --> 00:18:58,064 Oh, Madonna's tour documentary. 298 00:18:58,134 --> 00:19:01,365 My coif for vous, Madonna. 299 00:19:02,905 --> 00:19:04,998 I loved this one. 300 00:19:05,074 --> 00:19:10,171 I could've spent all night watching those fabulously interesting dancers. 301 00:19:10,246 --> 00:19:14,080 Whether to point your toe, don't point your toe, who knows? 302 00:19:14,150 --> 00:19:16,983 - I haven't had that much fun since the opening... - [Snorting] 303 00:19:17,053 --> 00:19:19,248 Of Paris is Burning. 304 00:19:19,322 --> 00:19:23,918 And that little Oliver. You know, the Negroid with the blond hair? 305 00:19:25,962 --> 00:19:29,659 Oh. He was riveting. He was riveting. 306 00:19:29,732 --> 00:19:31,825 But there's one thing... Excuse me? 307 00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:35,564 Why don't you just cut free, Oliver, and admit who you are? 308 00:19:35,638 --> 00:19:37,697 Oliver, I dare you! 309 00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:41,709 Tell the truth. ¿Es verdad? 310 00:19:41,777 --> 00:19:46,180 - What's "¿Es verdad?" - It's Spanish for "Isn't it the truth?" 311 00:19:46,248 --> 00:19:50,309 - You know, I'm bi... lingual. - Uh-huh. 312 00:19:59,829 --> 00:20:02,957 Well, I didn't look at Oliver much... 313 00:20:03,032 --> 00:20:05,500 but I think Madonna is pretty hot. 314 00:20:05,568 --> 00:20:10,699 And, um, I don't know. I could forget Truth or Dare. I wanna see her play spin the bottle. 315 00:20:10,773 --> 00:20:13,333 You see the way she wrapped her lips around that bottle, man? 316 00:20:13,409 --> 00:20:16,276 Yo, she can pop my bottle anytime. 317 00:20:17,847 --> 00:20:20,213 Hello in there. 318 00:20:20,282 --> 00:20:23,274 - That's it, man. I'm gonna bust your ass. - Oh! 319 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:26,913 Wait a minute. I thought there was a daddy longlegs on your head. 320 00:20:26,989 --> 00:20:29,287 'Scuze me. [Chuckles] 321 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:32,657 That's it, man. You want a piece of me? Come on. Go for it. Give me your best shot. 322 00:20:32,728 --> 00:20:35,663 - Give me your best shot. Come on. Uuh! - [Gasps] 323 00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,364 [Crying] 324 00:20:52,715 --> 00:20:55,047 - Blayne? - Tony! 325 00:20:55,117 --> 00:20:57,381 Blayne! 326 00:20:57,453 --> 00:21:00,251 [Joyful Yelps] 327 00:21:00,322 --> 00:21:03,086 - I'm free! I'm free! - He's back! 328 00:21:03,159 --> 00:21:05,525 Come on! You remember the crew! 329 00:21:05,594 --> 00:21:09,792 - He's back! - Oh! Hi, Eric and Troy! 330 00:21:09,865 --> 00:21:12,595 Join us next week when we'll be reviewing Terminator 2... 331 00:21:12,668 --> 00:21:15,034 starring muscle-bound Arnold Schwarzenegger. 332 00:21:17,339 --> 00:21:20,502 If this man is the man of the future, wrap me up, freeze me... 333 00:21:20,576 --> 00:21:23,670 and pack me in liquid steel. 334 00:21:23,746 --> 00:21:28,581 We're celebrating Blayne's return with a new and improved T2 snap. 335 00:21:30,352 --> 00:21:33,549 ♪♪ [Disco: Women Singing] 336 00:21:47,069 --> 00:21:50,971 Yo, we'll be back next week. 337 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,974 Peace! 338 00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:55,033 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 28565

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