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♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
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♪ In living color♪
3
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- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪
4
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♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
5
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- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ In living color♪
6
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♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
7
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♪ You see, it's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
8
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- ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪- ♪ In living color♪
9
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♪ And how would you feel knowingprejudice was obsolete ♪
10
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♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beatAnd at night ♪
11
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- ♪ It was safe to walk down the street ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
12
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♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
13
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♪ In living color♪
14
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♪ In living color♪
15
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♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
16
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- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ In living color♪
17
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♪ Everybody hereis equally kind ♪
18
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♪ Everybody hereis equally kind ♪
19
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♪ Everybody, everybodyeverybody, everybody ♪
20
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- ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪- ♪ In living color♪
21
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♪ What's mine is yoursand what's yours is mine ♪
22
00:01:05,419 --> 00:01:07,580
♪ In living c-c-c-olor♪
23
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♪ You can do what you wanna doIn living color♪
24
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- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪
25
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,155
♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
26
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♪ You see, it's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
27
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- ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪- ♪ In living color♪
28
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♪ You can do what you wanna doin living color♪♪
29
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[Audience Applauding, Cheering]
30
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[Muffled Yelling]
31
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SW1, kick it.
32
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♪♪ [Resumes]
33
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♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
34
00:01:49,497 --> 00:01:53,490
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ In living color♪
35
00:01:53,567 --> 00:01:55,865
♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
36
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♪ You see, it's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
37
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- ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪- ♪ In living color♪♪
38
00:02:06,747 --> 00:02:11,480
Now, Lil Magic, now, listen to me.
Don't you forget what Mama told you.
39
00:02:11,552 --> 00:02:13,782
You got to get this part
'cause rent is due...
40
00:02:13,854 --> 00:02:17,654
and we done cashed in our last food stamp
on bus fare down here.
41
00:02:17,725 --> 00:02:21,627
Don't worry, Mama. I'm gonna get the job
this time. And I'm gonna make lots of money.
42
00:02:21,696 --> 00:02:23,926
- I'm gonna buy you gold caps for your teeth...
- Lil Magic...
43
00:02:23,998 --> 00:02:26,660
- and I'm gonna get aluminum foil
for the TV antenna...
- Lil Magic...
44
00:02:26,734 --> 00:02:30,329
- and I'm gonna get Peanut's corrective shoe
outta the pawn shop...
- Now, hush up!
45
00:02:30,404 --> 00:02:33,168
- Sorry, Mama.
- Oh, that's my baby.
46
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,437
- Oh. Now, give me your foot.
You done forgot your tap shoes.
- Oh, oh, oh.
47
00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:38,671
Now, hold still.
48
00:02:38,746 --> 00:02:40,737
- Ouch!
- Oh, hush up.
49
00:02:40,815 --> 00:02:45,047
These shoes was good enough for Lashawn
and Pookie. They's good enough for you.
50
00:02:45,119 --> 00:02:48,111
- Besides, them soles only got
but a few holes in 'em.
- Ooouch!
51
00:02:48,189 --> 00:02:50,680
- Be quiet. Now, put that toe back in.
- Yes, Mama.
52
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,823
Um, female, "Pajama Johnson"?
53
00:02:58,899 --> 00:03:02,232
No. That's Fuhmahlay Pajuhmay.
That's "Acrifan."
54
00:03:03,571 --> 00:03:08,031
But my friends call me
"Lil Magic." See?
55
00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:11,670
- What is that? You have a résumé?
- A what?
56
00:03:11,746 --> 00:03:15,011
- A résumé. You know, credit.
- Oh, credit. I keep me some credit.
57
00:03:15,082 --> 00:03:17,812
I got me a LeRon's
Hair Weave Emporium card.
58
00:03:17,885 --> 00:03:19,876
And you know Mr. Kwon Lee,
down at the corner store?
59
00:03:19,954 --> 00:03:21,888
He give me credit whenever I need it.
60
00:03:21,956 --> 00:03:24,618
I mean, what has she done?
What shows has she starred in?
61
00:03:24,692 --> 00:03:28,184
Why didn't you say that in the first place?
Lil Magic had the lead role...
62
00:03:28,262 --> 00:03:34,223
in the Fulton Project Community Center
production of Please, Mama, Don't Use Crack.
63
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:38,931
And I'm Right On magazine's
Miss Smile-Brite 1987. See?
64
00:03:39,006 --> 00:03:41,907
My baby's gonna get this job.
65
00:03:41,976 --> 00:03:44,274
I'm sorry, ma'am. We're looking
for professional actors only.
66
00:03:44,345 --> 00:03:47,075
You gonna be lookin' for a doctor
if you don't get the hell out my way.
67
00:03:47,148 --> 00:03:49,082
You can't go in there.
68
00:03:50,151 --> 00:03:52,483
[Man]
Hey. Hey.
69
00:03:52,553 --> 00:03:54,418
What...
What's this?
70
00:03:54,488 --> 00:03:59,516
This here is Lil Magic. She only the most
beautific, wondalicious girl in the whole galaxy.
71
00:03:59,593 --> 00:04:05,122
Plus I'm Right On magazine's
Miss Smile-Brite 1987. See?
72
00:04:05,199 --> 00:04:10,466
- Uh, we don't have time to see people right now.
- Oh, hush up, honey.
73
00:04:10,538 --> 00:04:12,904
Show the director a lil' magic.
Get it?
74
00:04:12,973 --> 00:04:16,875
- Mama, Mama, my baton!
- Oh! Here you go, honey.
75
00:04:16,944 --> 00:04:20,812
- [Director] Okay, let's see ya.
- ♪♪ [Piano Intro]
76
00:04:20,881 --> 00:04:25,682
- ♪♪ [Singing Discordantly]
- [Marching Heavily]
77
00:04:25,753 --> 00:04:28,620
- ♪♪ [Continues]
- Ah, you doin'it, honey.!
78
00:04:28,689 --> 00:04:30,680
Shuffle off to Buffalo!
79
00:04:32,393 --> 00:04:34,884
- [Director] Okay. Thank you, Magic.
Thank you very much.
- Ow!
80
00:04:34,962 --> 00:04:38,489
- Play the drums, honey.
Get on the good foot.
- We don't have to see any more.
81
00:04:38,566 --> 00:04:42,866
- [Mama] This is funky here.
- ♪♪ [Rock Drum Fill]
82
00:04:42,937 --> 00:04:45,497
- We really should move on.
- ♪♪ [Whistles] Lil Magic, play the horn!
83
00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:52,607
- [Director] We've gotta move on.
- ♪♪ [Fast]
84
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,308
Lil Magic, do the nunchuks, honey,
the nunchuks!
85
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,714
- [Director] I can't believe...- [Mama] Hai Karate.!
86
00:04:57,785 --> 00:05:00,447
You just like Bruce Lee.[Imitating Martial Arts Yells]
87
00:05:00,521 --> 00:05:05,015
See? Oh, Lil Magic, swallow the baton.This is the big finish.
88
00:05:05,092 --> 00:05:07,686
There you go.My little darling.
89
00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:10,628
That's it. Get them outta here.
Out. Get them out!
90
00:05:10,698 --> 00:05:14,600
- You better get your hands off my little girl.
- [Crash]
91
00:05:16,604 --> 00:05:19,664
Mama, Mama, I got the job.
I know I got it!
92
00:05:19,740 --> 00:05:21,731
And the producer's gonna
fly me to Hollywood...
93
00:05:21,809 --> 00:05:24,175
- Uh, Lil Magic...
- on a big plane that says, "Lil Magic."
94
00:05:24,245 --> 00:05:27,009
- Uh, Lil Magic...
- When I get there,
everybody be gathered around the airport...
95
00:05:27,081 --> 00:05:30,517
- and they'll say, "Lil Magic..."
- Oh, hush up!
96
00:05:30,584 --> 00:05:33,712
- Sorry, Mama.
- Oh, that's my baby.
97
00:05:33,787 --> 00:05:36,950
- Mama, can I take my tap shoes off?
My feet hurt.
- No!
98
00:05:37,024 --> 00:05:41,085
We got two more auditions crosstown,
and you never know who may be on that city bus.
99
00:05:41,161 --> 00:05:42,651
- Now, you got your transfer?
- Yes, Mama.
100
00:05:42,730 --> 00:05:44,721
Come on. Let's go.
101
00:05:50,938 --> 00:05:52,997
I've heard the food here
is quite excellent.
102
00:05:53,073 --> 00:05:55,906
Well, if anybody knows
about food, it's Oprah.
103
00:05:55,976 --> 00:05:58,877
- Hello-o-o!
- Oh!
104
00:05:59,947 --> 00:06:01,938
Hi. Welcome.
105
00:06:02,016 --> 00:06:04,507
- Thank you.
- I see you have a bottle of my best champagne.
106
00:06:04,585 --> 00:06:07,281
You must be celebrating
something special tonight.
107
00:06:07,354 --> 00:06:10,812
- Well, we sure are. We've just become engaged.
- Ooh, girlfriend. Engaged?
108
00:06:10,891 --> 00:06:12,882
- Yes.
- [Laughs]
109
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,020
- Ooh. So, you set a date?
- Well, no, not yet, but...
110
00:06:16,096 --> 00:06:18,155
- But sometime soon.
- Right.
111
00:06:18,232 --> 00:06:22,828
Mm-hmm. Girlfriend, let Oprah school you.
That is the oldest trick in the book.
112
00:06:22,903 --> 00:06:25,269
- Really?
- Honey, a man will use you up.
113
00:06:25,339 --> 00:06:27,830
He will lay up in your house,
spend up your money.
114
00:06:27,908 --> 00:06:32,038
He'll live in your condo, and you will never,
ever see that gold band on your finger.
115
00:06:32,112 --> 00:06:34,444
But wait a minute.
What are you talking about?
116
00:06:34,515 --> 00:06:38,349
- It's just a couple of years until I finish school.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
117
00:06:38,419 --> 00:06:42,082
Till he finishes school.
Oh, girl.
118
00:06:42,156 --> 00:06:45,751
Oh, girl, do you know what you're in for?
I've been down this road, honey.
119
00:06:45,826 --> 00:06:47,817
- [Sobs]
- So many things happen in two years:
120
00:06:47,895 --> 00:06:50,125
You get stretch marks,
you get wrinkles.
121
00:06:50,197 --> 00:06:53,223
- Girl, he ain't gonna want you in two years.
- [Sobbing]
122
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:57,202
- Um, No, it's not...
- How could you do this to me?
123
00:06:57,271 --> 00:06:59,671
- Hey, listen...
- Men Who Fear Commitment.
124
00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:02,709
Tonight at Oprah's.
125
00:07:02,776 --> 00:07:05,870
- I hate you.
- You want to say what?
126
00:07:05,946 --> 00:07:08,107
Uh, nothing.
I was just going to the ladies' room.
127
00:07:08,182 --> 00:07:12,278
Oh? And leaving these two adorable children
by themselves?
128
00:07:12,353 --> 00:07:16,449
- No, I'm coming right back.
- Women Who Abandon Their Children.
129
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:19,048
Tonight at Oprah's.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
130
00:07:19,126 --> 00:07:22,186
You want to say what?
Mm-hmm. Get up.
131
00:07:22,262 --> 00:07:25,459
Why did she have kids
if she's gonna abandon them?
132
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:29,491
- [Patrons Applaud]
- Mm-hmm. Oh, you have a point?
133
00:07:29,570 --> 00:07:31,663
- Um, well...
- Make your point. Make your point.
134
00:07:31,739 --> 00:07:35,971
L-l-I just wanted some butter for...
the bread.
135
00:07:37,611 --> 00:07:41,741
This bread... Get the girl some butter
over here. This bread is bland.
136
00:07:41,815 --> 00:07:46,582
- Mm-hmm. You say what?
- Take her kids away from her!
137
00:07:46,653 --> 00:07:49,281
- Shame on you.
- Somebody come get these kids.
138
00:07:49,356 --> 00:07:51,654
This is ridiculous.
Nobody's taking my kids away from me.
139
00:07:51,725 --> 00:07:53,920
These are my babies.
Ain't nobody takin' my...
140
00:07:53,994 --> 00:07:56,690
Wait a minute.
What? Who are you? What? What?
141
00:07:56,764 --> 00:07:58,959
Listen!
Hey, wait a minute. Let go.
142
00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:03,163
- Yo, mom! Mama! Mama!
- [Protesting]
143
00:08:03,237 --> 00:08:06,172
- [Man] Damn right.
- Women Torn from Their Children.
144
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,801
Tomorrow night's dinner conversation
at Oprah's.
145
00:08:09,877 --> 00:08:13,313
- I guess I'll just have the salad.
- Good.
146
00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:17,282
Well, you know, that sounds real good.
I'm gonna have just what she's having.
147
00:08:17,351 --> 00:08:21,219
Men Who Want to Be Women.
Tonight at Oprah's.
148
00:08:21,288 --> 00:08:24,621
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. I'm perfectly happy.
149
00:08:24,691 --> 00:08:26,682
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
You have something to say?
150
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,354
- You say it. Stand up.
- Yes, Oprah. My name is Cindy...
151
00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:32,160
but just a few short years ago,
I was a man named Hank.
152
00:08:32,232 --> 00:08:36,794
- I think I understand some of your pain, sir.
- Wait a minute. Please. Stop!
153
00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:39,634
- Get rid of the pain.
- You say what?
154
00:08:39,706 --> 00:08:42,937
- Get rid of the secrets.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
155
00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:48,107
We love you just the way you...
[Burping] are.
156
00:08:48,182 --> 00:08:51,845
- [Oprah] Thank you for that.
- Oprah? I'm free.
157
00:08:51,919 --> 00:08:55,184
I've decided to have
a sex change operation tomorrow.
158
00:08:55,255 --> 00:09:00,056
- From here on out I'll be known as "Taniqua."
- [Patrons Applaud]
159
00:09:00,127 --> 00:09:02,118
Oprah?
160
00:09:02,196 --> 00:09:05,131
- I'm my own father.
- Yes!
161
00:09:05,199 --> 00:09:08,794
Over here, Oprah. Oprah?
I know this isn't anything great...
162
00:09:08,869 --> 00:09:12,896
- but my feet stink.
- [Applause]
163
00:09:12,973 --> 00:09:15,305
Yes.
164
00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:17,605
- I channel Moms Mabley.
- Make your point.
165
00:09:17,678 --> 00:09:22,308
And child, these french fries are terrific.
What is your secret?
166
00:09:22,382 --> 00:09:26,284
Well, thank you all.
Now I have a confession that I have to make.
167
00:09:26,353 --> 00:09:29,447
You know, over the years
I've dropped 300 pounds of fat?
168
00:09:29,523 --> 00:09:31,514
- Yes.
- Well, guess what?
169
00:09:31,592 --> 00:09:36,529
- I've been frying your food in it.
- Oh, wonderful.
170
00:09:36,597 --> 00:09:41,330
- That's great.
- [Man] Ugh.! Ugh.!
171
00:09:44,304 --> 00:09:50,265
♪♪ [Hip-Hop]
172
00:10:20,307 --> 00:10:26,268
♪♪ [Marching Band, Distant]
173
00:10:43,830 --> 00:10:46,924
You left your top open.
Now get the hell outta here.
174
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,265
Come on.
Mime your ass on down the street.
175
00:10:51,972 --> 00:10:54,736
- [Honking Horn]
- Okay. Gather 'round, children.
176
00:10:54,808 --> 00:11:00,337
[All Cheering]
[Chanting] Homey! Homey! Homey!
177
00:11:00,414 --> 00:11:02,405
A'ight, now.
178
00:11:02,482 --> 00:11:05,212
Y'all want your pictures drawn,
it'll be one dollar apiece.
179
00:11:05,285 --> 00:11:07,913
Homey, Homey,
draw me first.
180
00:11:07,988 --> 00:11:12,584
Oh, yeah. You want me to draw you first
'cause you so cute and sweet and adorable, huh?
181
00:11:12,659 --> 00:11:14,752
- Yes.
- Take off your glasses.
182
00:11:15,829 --> 00:11:18,093
I don't think so.
183
00:11:18,165 --> 00:11:20,224
I'll draw you all
at the same time.
184
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:23,531
- Okay.
- Ooh...
185
00:11:23,604 --> 00:11:26,164
Sorry, Homey.
186
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,731
There you go.
Three dollars.
187
00:11:28,809 --> 00:11:31,801
Hey, wait a minute,
Homey. I can't tell which one's me.
188
00:11:31,878 --> 00:11:36,281
Easy. You the big, dumb one.
Now gimme my money.
189
00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:39,877
- You see what I'm talking about?
- A black circus clown.
190
00:11:39,953 --> 00:11:43,946
He'd make the perfect spokesman
for our product. Let's make him an offer.
191
00:11:44,024 --> 00:11:46,720
- Y'all better get my damn money.
- [Girl] Okay.
192
00:11:49,396 --> 00:11:52,832
- Well, well, well, if it ain't Bobo and Mr. Charlie.
- [Chuckles]
193
00:11:52,899 --> 00:11:55,561
- [Men Laugh]
- [Homey] Ha, ha, ha, ha.
194
00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:58,867
I hope you got your passports.
You be in Homey country now.
195
00:11:58,939 --> 00:12:02,170
Homey, my company is producing
a new sugar-coated kids' cereal...
196
00:12:02,242 --> 00:12:04,369
and I want you to be
the company spokesman.
197
00:12:04,444 --> 00:12:07,675
Oh, yeah. Right. You want me to help you
further oppress my people...
198
00:12:07,748 --> 00:12:11,047
by gettin' them to eat stuff that'll make
their teeth rot and fall out their mouth?
199
00:12:11,118 --> 00:12:13,109
- I don't think so.
- Did I mention the job pays...
200
00:12:13,186 --> 00:12:15,620
a million dollars a year?
201
00:12:17,524 --> 00:12:20,084
- I don't think I have a problem with that.
- [Cash Register Ringing]
202
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,151
Homey plays that.
203
00:12:22,229 --> 00:12:25,790
- Where do Homey sign?
- Right there, Homey.
204
00:12:25,866 --> 00:12:31,827
- How do you spell "D. Clown"?
- [All Laughing]
205
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,431
Homey Wheats. Take five.
206
00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:40,378
Hi. I'm Homey the Clown.
Kids love me.
207
00:12:40,447 --> 00:12:43,541
Tell me, though, childrens,
why do you love Homey so?
208
00:12:43,617 --> 00:12:46,916
- [Children, Together] Because you're so dumb!
- [Homey Chuckles]
209
00:12:46,987 --> 00:12:49,478
I may be just a dumb ol' clown...
210
00:12:49,556 --> 00:12:52,889
but I'm smart enough to love the sugary taste
of Homey Wheats.
211
00:12:52,959 --> 00:12:56,258
Now, if I could just
get my hands on some.
212
00:12:56,330 --> 00:12:58,423
- [Children Giggling]
- [Chuckling] Hey! Ouch!
213
00:12:58,498 --> 00:13:02,025
Stupid clown.
Homey Wheats are for kids.
214
00:13:02,102 --> 00:13:04,093
Outsmarted again.
215
00:13:04,171 --> 00:13:08,130
Looks like I'll be denied the hundred percent
sugary taste of Homey Wheats...
216
00:13:08,208 --> 00:13:12,110
the cereal that goes,
"Bop, bop, bop."
217
00:13:12,179 --> 00:13:14,511
Not me, childrens...
the cereal!
218
00:13:14,581 --> 00:13:16,811
[All Laugh Loudly]
219
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,875
So remember, little childrens...
220
00:13:19,953 --> 00:13:24,652
do what the man says... go out and buy yourself
a box of new Homey Wheats...
221
00:13:24,725 --> 00:13:27,990
the only cereal made from cookies,
marshmallows, sugar cubes...
222
00:13:28,061 --> 00:13:30,427
and other nutritional
pieces of candy.
223
00:13:30,497 --> 00:13:33,762
Now this is a cereal
Homey can play.
224
00:13:48,014 --> 00:13:52,508
- Welcome to Chez Whitey.
- Thank you, Julio.
225
00:13:52,586 --> 00:13:56,283
[Strains]
Always havin' trouble with them clown shoes.
226
00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:59,848
Here you go. It's a dollar.
Don't spend it all in one place.
227
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:02,588
[Laughs]
Watch the car.
228
00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:08,824
- Homey!
- Homester!
229
00:14:08,902 --> 00:14:13,339
- Homester, come on in. Got your favorite table.
- Oh, great. Bobo and Mr. Charlie.
230
00:14:13,407 --> 00:14:17,309
- My friends.
- Where you been? You're a half an hour late.
231
00:14:17,377 --> 00:14:22,337
- You know me. I'm on C.P. Time.
- [All Laugh Loudly]
232
00:14:22,416 --> 00:14:24,850
Homey! Homey?
233
00:14:24,918 --> 00:14:27,409
Everyone's saying you sold out
to the establishment.
234
00:14:27,487 --> 00:14:30,422
- Say it ain't so, Homey.
- Of course not.
235
00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:33,050
Here, here. Here's your old sock.
Bop me one.
236
00:14:33,126 --> 00:14:35,356
- [Chanting] Homey! Homey!
- Oh, great. My old sock.
237
00:14:35,429 --> 00:14:38,728
Look. I can get, like, a good tax write-off
with this, couldn't I?
238
00:14:38,799 --> 00:14:41,700
- [Laughing]
- Oh, no! No, Homey. Come on.
239
00:14:41,768 --> 00:14:43,736
- Come on, Homey. Dis me. Remember this?
- [Honks Horn]
240
00:14:43,804 --> 00:14:47,501
Come on. Here.
Come on. Dis me, Homey.
241
00:14:47,574 --> 00:14:49,974
- Come on, Homey.
- Ah, no, no. Hey, I don't think so.
242
00:14:50,043 --> 00:14:52,034
Homey don't play that
for free anymore.
243
00:14:52,112 --> 00:14:56,048
He gets a hundred thousand bucks to bop now,
and I'm afraid you just can't afford it.
244
00:14:56,116 --> 00:14:58,107
- So beat it, kid. Come on, Homey.
- Sorry, Charlie.
245
00:14:58,185 --> 00:15:00,176
Catch me next time.
246
00:15:00,253 --> 00:15:02,915
You go ahead.
[Chattering]
247
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,980
You're not Homey the Clown.
248
00:15:05,058 --> 00:15:07,652
You're Homey the Man.
249
00:15:07,727 --> 00:15:11,163
[Sobbing]You're a sucker.
250
00:15:18,523 --> 00:15:23,085
♪♪ [Women Singing Disco]- [Man] Public access channel 68 and a half...
251
00:15:23,161 --> 00:15:28,463
- proudly presents Men on Television.
- [Audience Cheering]
252
00:15:29,534 --> 00:15:33,527
[Cheering Continues, Fades]
253
00:15:33,605 --> 00:15:38,565
- Hello. I'm Blayne Edwards.
- And I'm Antoine Merrywether.
254
00:15:40,178 --> 00:15:43,636
[Both]
And welcome to Men on Television...
255
00:15:43,715 --> 00:15:47,242
- the show that looks at TV...
- from a male point of view.
256
00:15:47,318 --> 00:15:52,551
Mm-hmm. We've taken a look at examples
of shows from all four networks.
257
00:15:52,624 --> 00:15:54,615
First there was NBC.
258
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,388
It used to stand for
"Nothing But Cosby."
259
00:15:57,462 --> 00:16:01,091
Now, you know, they have that new show,
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
260
00:16:01,166 --> 00:16:03,566
Well, listen.
There's nothin' fresh about this prince.
261
00:16:03,635 --> 00:16:06,160
And it's definitely not
the Prince I was lookin' for.
262
00:16:06,237 --> 00:16:10,401
- I was lookin' for a purple
G-string and some high heels.
- Mm-hmm.
263
00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:16,478
Ditto. [Chuckles]
Then there was Golden Girls.
264
00:16:16,548 --> 00:16:19,278
[Both]
Hated it.
265
00:16:19,350 --> 00:16:23,844
Would you tell me, who cares about
three old, white heifers in a house?
266
00:16:25,256 --> 00:16:28,555
- I don't.
- Next we go to CBS.
267
00:16:28,626 --> 00:16:32,687
The first show we took a look at
was Designing Women.
268
00:16:32,764 --> 00:16:35,164
[Both]
Hated it.
269
00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:37,258
Now, you know, I don't know
who designed these women...
270
00:16:37,335 --> 00:16:40,862
but they need to go back
to the drawing board.
271
00:16:40,939 --> 00:16:44,898
That's right. If that Delta 747
gets any bigger...
272
00:16:44,976 --> 00:16:48,878
they gonna have to widen
the runway, child.
273
00:16:48,947 --> 00:16:51,108
I guess that's why
they call it CBS...
274
00:16:51,182 --> 00:16:53,343
[Both]
'Cause that's all you see:
275
00:16:53,418 --> 00:16:55,409
- B.S.
- Ooh!
276
00:16:57,555 --> 00:17:00,115
Then we have
Murder She Wrote.
277
00:17:00,191 --> 00:17:04,355
Now this show is always about some old lady
runnin' around tryin' to find out "whodunit,"
278
00:17:04,429 --> 00:17:07,296
when it's obvious she ain't done it
in a long time.
279
00:17:07,365 --> 00:17:09,356
Oh, stop.
280
00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:17,567
Then we come to ABC, which must stand for
"Ass-Backwards and Country."
281
00:17:18,877 --> 00:17:22,404
- Now, first we had Perfect Strangers.
- Mm-hmm.
282
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,449
This is the story
about two mens...
283
00:17:25,516 --> 00:17:27,916
- one a little Greek boy...
- Mm-hmm.
284
00:17:27,986 --> 00:17:32,821
Distantly related, but thrown together
in a big, evil city...
285
00:17:32,891 --> 00:17:35,121
livin' in a cramped apartment...
286
00:17:35,193 --> 00:17:39,152
sharin' the same house shoes
and toothpaste.
287
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:41,664
I gotta shift my seat.
288
00:17:48,873 --> 00:17:51,535
I tell you, if you asked me,
I think that little Balki...
289
00:17:51,609 --> 00:17:55,010
- would be much happier
back home with all them sheep.
- Ooh!
290
00:17:55,079 --> 00:17:58,048
- [Giggling]
- You see...
291
00:17:58,116 --> 00:18:00,914
[Continues Giggling]
292
00:18:00,985 --> 00:18:04,443
- What?
- I just thought I heard a chicken.
293
00:18:04,522 --> 00:18:09,482
Um, next we come to Roseanne.
294
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,551
[Both]
Hated it.
295
00:18:11,629 --> 00:18:16,157
- Now, that's the kind of woman,
made me switch in the first place.
- Mm-hmm.
296
00:18:16,234 --> 00:18:20,500
- Let me ask you something.
- What?
297
00:18:20,571 --> 00:18:23,631
Let me ask you something.
Doesn't Roseanne remind you...
298
00:18:23,708 --> 00:18:25,903
of Gerald, you know, from La Cage?
299
00:18:25,977 --> 00:18:31,142
Mm-hmm. And isn't her husband kin
to that Arnold on Green Acres?
300
00:18:31,215 --> 00:18:33,206
I don't know.
301
00:18:33,284 --> 00:18:36,378
You know, it seems like they don't know
how to make good TV anymore.
302
00:18:36,454 --> 00:18:38,945
- I agree.
- That's why we decided to review...
303
00:18:39,023 --> 00:18:41,787
- our favorite series from the past...
- Mm-hmm.
304
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:45,761
- The Six Million Dollar Man.
- Mm.
305
00:18:45,830 --> 00:18:50,995
Lee Majors rebuilt from scratch
into a bionic hunk o' man...
306
00:18:51,069 --> 00:18:54,470
with a budget of $6 million.
307
00:18:54,539 --> 00:19:00,500
Well, if it was my money, you can guess
where 5,999,000 would've went.
308
00:19:01,846 --> 00:19:04,508
Stop.
309
00:19:04,582 --> 00:19:06,573
That's why we're gonna
give this one...
310
00:19:06,651 --> 00:19:09,950
the one time only
patty-cake snap.
311
00:19:12,557 --> 00:19:15,117
- [Both Snapping Fingers]
- Tell a friend.
312
00:19:17,028 --> 00:19:19,622
- That's it.
- Tell a friend, child.
313
00:19:19,697 --> 00:19:21,722
[Yelping]
314
00:19:21,799 --> 00:19:23,790
Oh, my Lord.
315
00:19:27,572 --> 00:19:32,134
Blayne! Blayne!
316
00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:34,906
Blayne! Call a doctor...
317
00:19:34,979 --> 00:19:38,471
'cause I think he needs
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
318
00:19:38,549 --> 00:19:41,609
Hey, hey, hey, man.
Hey!
319
00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:44,986
Man, what you doin', man?
320
00:19:45,056 --> 00:19:48,253
- Blayne? Blayne, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
321
00:19:48,326 --> 00:19:52,422
What's up with you? What's...
What's these funny clothes about, man?
322
00:19:52,497 --> 00:19:54,931
Blayne, your hat.
323
00:19:54,999 --> 00:19:59,402
This ain't my hat, man.
Get that little thing outta here.
324
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:03,702
- Yo, let's finish this show, Tony.
- Well, l-I don't know...
325
00:20:03,775 --> 00:20:05,766
What's wrong with you, man?
326
00:20:10,314 --> 00:20:13,306
- Blayne, are you...
- Yeah, I'm all right, man. What's up with you?
327
00:20:13,384 --> 00:20:15,750
- Let's finish the show. Finish the show.
- Okay.
328
00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:18,812
[Clears Throat]
Finally...
329
00:20:18,890 --> 00:20:22,553
we come to that
sly Fox of a network...
330
00:20:22,627 --> 00:20:25,494
and their show
Married with Children.
331
00:20:25,563 --> 00:20:28,532
- Loved it.
- Hated it.
332
00:20:28,599 --> 00:20:31,534
What you talkin' about, "Hated it," man?
That girl is fine. The blonde one?
333
00:20:31,602 --> 00:20:36,232
With the... the blonde?
Look like she hidin' two midgets, man.
334
00:20:38,643 --> 00:20:42,306
Blonde? Midget?
[Yelps]
335
00:20:52,623 --> 00:20:53,758
♪♪ [Hip-Hop, Distant]
336
00:20:53,758 --> 00:20:58,593
♪♪ [Hip-Hop, Distant]
337
00:21:00,164 --> 00:21:03,133
- Yay! All right.
- This is... This is my oldest...
338
00:21:03,201 --> 00:21:05,192
This is my oldest brother, Dwayne.
339
00:21:05,269 --> 00:21:07,999
Many of you've seen him...
You've seen him in many sketches.
340
00:21:08,072 --> 00:21:10,063
- Boo!
- What's your favorite part? The guard.
341
00:21:10,141 --> 00:21:12,575
- Uh, the dead man.
- He's the dead man.
342
00:21:12,643 --> 00:21:15,976
That's right. He's the dead man, the guard.
There's all those...
343
00:21:16,047 --> 00:21:18,607
all those roles
that you folks think are so unimportant.
344
00:21:18,683 --> 00:21:23,177
- This is the guy who volunteers for them.
- [Others Cheer]
345
00:21:23,254 --> 00:21:26,485
I just wanted to say...
346
00:21:26,557 --> 00:21:31,392
I just wanted to say...
we had a fun year...
347
00:21:31,462 --> 00:21:37,025
and, uh, we hope that you guys will definitely
have a safe and prosperous summer...
348
00:21:37,101 --> 00:21:42,664
and you'll join us next season along with
the Rainbow Coalition behind me.
349
00:21:42,740 --> 00:21:44,935
These are all the people...
350
00:21:45,009 --> 00:21:48,342
that help to make
the show a success.
351
00:21:48,412 --> 00:21:51,813
- Remember: Keep the livin' color alive!
- [Cheering]
352
00:21:51,883 --> 00:21:57,150
- [Cheering Continues]
- ♪♪ [Continues, Louder]
353
00:22:46,170 --> 00:22:48,638
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪♪
31454
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