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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,356 --> 00:00:05,985 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 2 00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:09,188 ♪ In living color♪ 3 00:00:09,263 --> 00:00:11,823 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 4 00:00:11,899 --> 00:00:15,130 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 5 00:00:15,202 --> 00:00:19,195 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 6 00:00:19,273 --> 00:00:21,468 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 7 00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:24,010 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 8 00:00:24,078 --> 00:00:27,639 - ♪ Take it from me, it's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 9 00:00:27,715 --> 00:00:30,809 ♪ And how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 10 00:00:30,885 --> 00:00:33,012 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 11 00:00:33,087 --> 00:00:34,884 ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ 12 00:00:34,956 --> 00:00:35,888 ♪ In living color♪ 13 00:00:35,957 --> 00:00:39,051 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 14 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,117 ♪ In living color♪ 15 00:00:42,496 --> 00:00:44,430 ♪ In living color♪ 16 00:00:44,498 --> 00:00:47,160 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 17 00:00:47,234 --> 00:00:52,399 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 18 00:00:52,473 --> 00:00:54,668 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 19 00:00:54,742 --> 00:00:57,176 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 20 00:00:57,244 --> 00:00:59,178 ♪ Everybody, everybody everybody, everybody ♪ 21 00:00:59,246 --> 00:01:02,977 - ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 22 00:01:03,050 --> 00:01:05,348 ♪ What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine ♪ 23 00:01:05,419 --> 00:01:07,580 ♪ In living c-c-c-olor♪ 24 00:01:08,990 --> 00:01:14,018 ♪ You can do what you wanna do in living color♪ 25 00:01:15,463 --> 00:01:17,658 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 26 00:01:17,732 --> 00:01:19,666 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 27 00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:21,827 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 28 00:01:21,902 --> 00:01:25,804 - ♪ Take it from me, it's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 29 00:01:25,873 --> 00:01:30,640 ♪ You can do what you wanna do in living color♪♪ 30 00:01:30,711 --> 00:01:32,645 [Audience Applauding, Cheering] 31 00:01:32,713 --> 00:01:35,773 Ladies and gentlemen, Keenen Ivory Wayans. 32 00:01:45,893 --> 00:01:48,828 Thank you. Thank you. Welcome to the show. 33 00:01:48,896 --> 00:01:50,830 Um, they left again. 34 00:01:50,898 --> 00:01:53,162 Get back here. Come here. 35 00:01:53,234 --> 00:01:55,634 The Fly Girls, ladies and gentlemen. 36 00:01:55,703 --> 00:01:58,729 [Audience Applauding, Cheering] 37 00:01:58,806 --> 00:02:01,104 How about a hand for my deejay, SW1? 38 00:02:03,778 --> 00:02:07,805 All right. Well, once again, it's our turn to make you laugh... 39 00:02:07,882 --> 00:02:09,816 so sit back for about a half. 40 00:02:09,884 --> 00:02:11,749 We'll get into trouble. See ya. 41 00:02:14,488 --> 00:02:17,218 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 42 00:02:18,526 --> 00:02:22,360 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 43 00:02:22,430 --> 00:02:24,898 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 44 00:02:24,965 --> 00:02:27,024 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 45 00:02:27,101 --> 00:02:31,128 - ♪ Take it from me, it's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 46 00:02:31,305 --> 00:02:33,830 [All Chattering] 47 00:02:33,908 --> 00:02:37,469 Commissioner, why did Arizona say no to the Martin Luther King holiday? 48 00:02:37,545 --> 00:02:40,708 Well, uh, as you know... 49 00:02:40,781 --> 00:02:42,715 we put it to the voters... 50 00:02:42,783 --> 00:02:46,981 and they voted it down, uh, 50% to 49%. 51 00:02:47,054 --> 00:02:49,716 - Will the Super Bowl be held here? - And what about the Fiesta Bowl? 52 00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:54,090 Isn't it true Arizona faces a total boycott of black athletes and celebrities? 53 00:02:54,161 --> 00:02:56,322 Why, no, that's not true at all. As a matter of fact... 54 00:02:56,397 --> 00:03:00,959 we have two well-known black celebrities who have agreed to be our spokesmen... 55 00:03:01,035 --> 00:03:04,334 men who have their finger on the pulse of the black community. 56 00:03:04,405 --> 00:03:09,308 I'd like to introduce them now. Here are Tom and Tom, the Brothers brothers. 57 00:03:12,913 --> 00:03:16,679 - Yee-haw! - Yippie-ki-yay! 58 00:03:16,751 --> 00:03:21,188 - Hey, bro, give me five! - Uh, that's all I've got. 59 00:03:21,255 --> 00:03:24,156 I hope you return it! 60 00:03:24,225 --> 00:03:26,921 Oh, how about our instruments, eh? 61 00:03:26,994 --> 00:03:29,053 Thank you, gents. 62 00:03:29,130 --> 00:03:31,394 - Kick it off, Tom. - ♪♪ [Western] 63 00:03:31,465 --> 00:03:34,764 ♪ Come to Arizona the Grand Canyon state ♪ 64 00:03:34,835 --> 00:03:38,532 ♪ And don't be put off by this racial debate ♪ 65 00:03:38,606 --> 00:03:42,303 ♪ The folks here aren't racist I know this is true ♪ 66 00:03:42,376 --> 00:03:47,609 ♪ They still show TheJeffersons on channel two ♪♪ 67 00:03:47,681 --> 00:03:50,115 Excuse me. We didn't come here to see a nightclub act. 68 00:03:50,184 --> 00:03:52,846 I still wanna know why Arizona doesn't have a King holiday. 69 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,115 Well, why should we give Don King a holiday? 70 00:03:55,189 --> 00:03:57,987 I mean, he can't even comb his hair straight! 71 00:03:58,058 --> 00:04:01,084 That's right. I mean, he's made some great advancements in the world of boxing, but... 72 00:04:01,162 --> 00:04:03,255 We're talking about Martin Luther King. 73 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,855 - Who? - Is... Is he any relation... 74 00:04:05,933 --> 00:04:07,992 to Alan King or Stephen King or BillieJean King? 75 00:04:08,068 --> 00:04:09,968 The civil rights leader! 76 00:04:10,037 --> 00:04:12,096 - Martin... - King. 77 00:04:12,173 --> 00:04:15,700 - Ah! Abernathy's friend! Sure, sure! - Oh, yeah. 78 00:04:15,776 --> 00:04:18,870 Well, he was certainly a nice gentlemen, but, um... 79 00:04:18,946 --> 00:04:21,437 I guess just another holiday would be so inconvenient. 80 00:04:21,515 --> 00:04:24,678 I mean, the banks would be closed, you couldn't get your mail. You know. 81 00:04:24,752 --> 00:04:27,050 Exactly. And I don't think that's how he would have wanted it. 82 00:04:27,121 --> 00:04:28,588 - No. - I mean, l... I've got it. 83 00:04:28,656 --> 00:04:31,591 I say we celebrate from midnight to 8:00 a.m. 84 00:04:31,659 --> 00:04:34,423 I mean, after all, isn't that what he's famous for... having a dream? 85 00:04:34,495 --> 00:04:36,861 That's right. He had a dream. 86 00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:43,569 Or we could just have a... a white sale or something. 87 00:04:43,637 --> 00:04:47,505 - That's a great idea. I'd be there. - I'm sure you would. 88 00:04:47,575 --> 00:04:50,635 But don't you think the Arizona voters were insensitive? 89 00:04:50,711 --> 00:04:54,010 - Insensitive, my left boot. - Come on. 90 00:04:54,081 --> 00:04:57,414 I mean, Arizonians are always looking for a way to help you out. 91 00:04:57,484 --> 00:05:01,477 Why, the police pulled us over three times just to make sure we knew where we were going. 92 00:05:01,555 --> 00:05:04,388 - That's right. - They even gave us this great, big hug around the neck. 93 00:05:04,458 --> 00:05:06,483 Wouldn't let go. 94 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,654 I mean, we thought we were gonna die from all the affection! 95 00:05:09,730 --> 00:05:14,360 Yeah. You've still got some burns around your neck from all that affection. 96 00:05:14,435 --> 00:05:17,893 - So don't give me any of that doohickey nonsense! - Tom, watch your mouth. 97 00:05:17,972 --> 00:05:20,941 - No, I'm tired of this frankenturtle bull dookey. - Ow! 98 00:05:22,309 --> 00:05:24,504 I've never heard him talk like this before. 99 00:05:24,578 --> 00:05:27,741 - You talk about hospitality. I'm gonna tell 'em about last night. - Tell 'em about last night. 100 00:05:27,815 --> 00:05:30,875 We get home late last night, and I'll be gosh darned if the Arizonians... 101 00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:34,011 didn't light a nice, big fire on our lawn so we could find our keys. 102 00:05:34,088 --> 00:05:36,579 Yes, they did. 103 00:05:38,726 --> 00:05:42,287 ♪ So it's hidey-hey and a-yippie-ki-yay ♪ 104 00:05:42,363 --> 00:05:46,094 ♪ We love Arizona and we're here to say ♪ 105 00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:49,829 ♪ Please don't think the worst of the average gent ♪ 106 00:05:49,904 --> 00:05:53,635 ♪ 'Cause they're not all bigots Just fifty percent ♪ 107 00:05:53,707 --> 00:05:58,144 ♪ 'Cause they're not all bigots Just fifty percent ♪♪ 108 00:05:58,212 --> 00:06:01,113 - Good white! - Good white, everybody! 109 00:06:02,483 --> 00:06:06,010 Yee-haw! 110 00:06:09,590 --> 00:06:11,922 [Man Narrating] K- Tel presents the man of the Middle East... 111 00:06:11,992 --> 00:06:15,792 the Elvis of Akaba, Johnny Abdul.! 112 00:06:15,863 --> 00:06:17,922 ♪♪ [Rock And Roll] 113 00:06:17,998 --> 00:06:20,990 Every amazing hit he's ever sung is now included in this new dual-album set. 114 00:06:21,068 --> 00:06:23,764 Unforgettable hits like "You Ain't Nothin'But A Hostage." 115 00:06:23,837 --> 00:06:27,830 ♪♪ [Mock Middle East Singing] 116 00:06:32,346 --> 00:06:36,282 And if you act now, you'll get "Kuwait a Minute, Mr. Postman," 117 00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:40,650 "Stairway to Mecca," "Beirut Suede Shoes," "Heartbreak Hussein," 118 00:06:40,721 --> 00:06:44,748 "Papa's Got a Brand New Baghdad," "I Left My Hand in San Francisco." 119 00:06:44,825 --> 00:06:47,385 And who could forget his beautiful love ballad... 120 00:06:47,461 --> 00:06:50,362 "Love Me Tender Or Die Slowly"? 121 00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:55,830 ♪♪ [Mock Middle East Singing] 122 00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:02,074 - ♪♪ [Ballad] - ♪♪ [Continues] 123 00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:09,747 ♪♪ [Continues] 124 00:07:10,818 --> 00:07:12,911 And, of course, his biggest hit ever... 125 00:07:12,987 --> 00:07:15,683 the show-stopping "Iraq Around the Clock." 126 00:07:19,093 --> 00:07:23,621 ♪♪ [Mock Middle East Singing] 127 00:07:23,697 --> 00:07:26,097 All these hits and many, many more. 128 00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:28,157 Send $ 13.95 to... 129 00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:38,376 [Middle Eastern Accent] Are you ready to rock? 130 00:07:40,114 --> 00:07:42,378 ♪♪ [Ululating] 131 00:07:45,019 --> 00:07:47,920 [Chattering] 132 00:07:47,988 --> 00:07:51,515 Except for Vincent Van Gogh. Isn't that amazing? 133 00:07:51,592 --> 00:07:53,924 Oh, there are the children I told you about. 134 00:07:53,994 --> 00:07:55,962 They are so cute. 135 00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:58,555 It's gonna be very difficult to decide which one to adopt, honey. 136 00:07:58,632 --> 00:08:00,930 - Isn't it, though? - Come on, Mom and Dad. Let's go. 137 00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:04,368 Come on, man, I already got my stuff packed. The car's running. Let's go! Chop, chop. 138 00:08:04,438 --> 00:08:08,033 Or is it more like a European thing, you guys... uh, Mama and Papa? 139 00:08:08,108 --> 00:08:12,442 Or do we have one of those postmodern child-parent relationships, huh, Ted, Anne? 140 00:08:14,281 --> 00:08:17,614 - Who are you? - George is one of our older children. 141 00:08:17,684 --> 00:08:20,619 - How old is George? - He's 35. 142 00:08:20,687 --> 00:08:24,123 - And he'd better start acting his age! - Yes, Miss Claw. 143 00:08:24,191 --> 00:08:27,718 You mean he's been waiting 35 years to get adopted? 144 00:08:27,795 --> 00:08:30,195 You know, some children are just slower to adopt than others. 145 00:08:30,264 --> 00:08:32,789 Well, you know, I've been waiting for the right parents... you. 146 00:08:32,866 --> 00:08:35,926 [Imitates Dog Whining] 147 00:08:36,003 --> 00:08:38,995 Look, I'm gonna leave you two here to get acquainted with the other children, okay? 148 00:08:39,073 --> 00:08:41,007 - Yeah. - George, leave the Gleasons alone. 149 00:08:41,075 --> 00:08:43,168 - [Groans] Yes, Miss Claw. - Hey. 150 00:08:43,243 --> 00:08:47,737 Look at this little guy. I think he's gonna be a basketball star. 151 00:08:47,815 --> 00:08:49,806 Slam-dunkin' it! 152 00:08:49,883 --> 00:08:54,786 Where's your five year old now, man? You're eaten up, that's where. 153 00:08:54,855 --> 00:08:57,380 All right. Who's next? Come on, Pop. One-to-one. Let's go. 154 00:08:57,458 --> 00:08:59,483 - Uh, George... - Come on, man.! 155 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,687 I think we're just gonna take a little look around, all right? 156 00:09:01,762 --> 00:09:06,529 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - See... S-See Spot... 157 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,797 - Here's a smart little guy. He's already learning to read. - Yeah. 158 00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:12,805 "He slowly moved his hand down her thigh. 159 00:09:12,873 --> 00:09:15,273 She quivered in ecstasy." 160 00:09:18,712 --> 00:09:21,442 S-See Spot r-r... 161 00:09:21,515 --> 00:09:25,747 I think the word that the little genius is looking for is "run"! 162 00:09:25,819 --> 00:09:28,788 - Honey, think of how much we could teach him. - Yeah. 163 00:09:28,856 --> 00:09:31,518 Man, you can teach me. Come on. 164 00:09:31,592 --> 00:09:33,753 "A," "B," uh, "D"... 165 00:09:33,827 --> 00:09:37,160 - Come on, man, help me out. I don't know what's next. - George, George... 166 00:09:37,231 --> 00:09:39,893 it's obvious that you're a very talented man. 167 00:09:39,967 --> 00:09:41,901 - Gifted, even. - Thank you. 168 00:09:41,969 --> 00:09:44,665 But, you see, we want to adopt a child... 169 00:09:44,738 --> 00:09:48,697 - someone who will do all the little things a child can do. - [Baby Crying] 170 00:09:48,775 --> 00:09:51,437 Oh, honey. Let's adopt a baby. 171 00:09:51,512 --> 00:09:55,141 Look, she's drooling. That's so adorable. 172 00:09:55,215 --> 00:09:58,116 Adorable? What, you think drooling is adorable? 173 00:09:58,185 --> 00:10:01,382 - You're gonna love this. - What are you doing? 174 00:10:07,928 --> 00:10:11,864 Uh-oh, I think someone just had a little accident. 175 00:10:11,932 --> 00:10:16,232 - Dad, I think I'm gonna have to... - Don't even think about it! 176 00:10:16,303 --> 00:10:18,294 Stand up. 177 00:10:20,174 --> 00:10:22,642 What do you want from us? 178 00:10:25,812 --> 00:10:29,111 L... I just wanna... 179 00:10:29,183 --> 00:10:32,516 have what everybody else had... 180 00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:36,955 a mommy and a daddy who'll love them. 181 00:10:37,024 --> 00:10:39,925 And just a small chance... 182 00:10:39,993 --> 00:10:43,053 for the happiness I never knew. 183 00:10:44,498 --> 00:10:47,592 Yale School of Drama, 1978. 184 00:10:47,668 --> 00:10:50,728 - You're a lunatic. - You know, it's funny. My ex-wife once said that too. 185 00:10:50,804 --> 00:10:53,637 - Your ex-wife? - That's it! We're taking this one. 186 00:10:53,707 --> 00:10:57,268 - Let's go. - Don't try to follow us, George. 187 00:10:59,546 --> 00:11:01,537 There they are. 188 00:11:01,615 --> 00:11:05,415 - George, stay away from the Ericksons. - Yes, Miss Claw. 189 00:11:06,987 --> 00:11:09,512 Mom! Dad! Or is it kind of like a street thing? 190 00:11:09,590 --> 00:11:11,922 Yo, Mom! Yo, Pop! What's up? 191 00:11:11,992 --> 00:11:14,688 Boy-ee! 192 00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,752 Love ya. 193 00:11:22,936 --> 00:11:25,404 ♪♪ [SultryJazz] 194 00:11:31,878 --> 00:11:33,869 Hi. You must be Velma Mulholland. 195 00:11:33,947 --> 00:11:36,211 That's right, kid. Got a cigarette, Johnny? 196 00:11:36,283 --> 00:11:38,217 No, I don't smoke. Sorry. 197 00:11:38,285 --> 00:11:41,516 Stick around, bright boy. I'll teach ya a few things. 198 00:11:41,588 --> 00:11:45,490 Oh, really? Well, uh, listen, my name is actually Eddie. 199 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:48,858 Eddie, Johnny, kid, bright boy... 200 00:11:48,929 --> 00:11:51,261 It's a big world out there. What's in a name? 201 00:11:51,331 --> 00:11:53,959 That's hip. Um... 202 00:11:54,034 --> 00:11:56,332 Listen, my man Steve told me a lot about you. 203 00:11:56,403 --> 00:11:58,701 Said you're a party girl and you're kind of old-fashioned. 204 00:11:58,772 --> 00:12:00,706 Lies, all lies, I tell you. 205 00:12:00,774 --> 00:12:04,835 Sure, maybe I hung with the wrong crowd and skipped Sunday school, but I'm not all bad. 206 00:12:04,911 --> 00:12:06,902 No. He said good things about you. He said that... 207 00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:09,574 you know, besides you lookin' good, he said that, you know... 208 00:12:09,650 --> 00:12:14,713 you worked at the five and 10, got a jobsky and, you know, you like old movies. 209 00:12:14,788 --> 00:12:16,722 Sure, I see a picture show now and again. 210 00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:19,588 It helps to pass the time when your heart's been broken in so many pieces... 211 00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:23,152 it feels as though you'll never see the light of day. 212 00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:26,666 Hey, uh, why don't we just talk all this over over dinner... 213 00:12:26,733 --> 00:12:28,667 and some movies or something? 214 00:12:28,735 --> 00:12:32,193 - Aw, Johnny, you're a sweet kid. - I am? 215 00:12:32,272 --> 00:12:34,206 But don't you see? It'd never work. 216 00:12:34,274 --> 00:12:38,301 I'm no good for ya, Johnny. I'd be trouble from the word go. Hell, my middle name is trouble. 217 00:12:38,378 --> 00:12:41,779 But not you, Johnny. You've got a shot at something really big. 218 00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:44,339 You're gonna make something of yourself. 219 00:12:44,418 --> 00:12:46,784 I'm gonna be somebody? 220 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:50,949 Johnny, don't you see? We're from two different worlds. 221 00:12:51,024 --> 00:12:54,460 You're real top-drawer, head of the list, cream of the crop. 222 00:12:54,528 --> 00:12:59,295 I'm nothing but a washed-up has-been workin' in a dime-a-dance saloon. 223 00:13:00,634 --> 00:13:03,068 Steve said you worked at the five and 10. 224 00:13:03,136 --> 00:13:05,070 Five and 10, dime-a-dance. 225 00:13:05,138 --> 00:13:07,663 Can't ya see, Johnny, I'm trying to knock some sense into that lunkhead of yours. 226 00:13:07,741 --> 00:13:10,141 I'm no good for you. No good, I tell you. 227 00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:14,112 Oh, Johnny, you deserve that stone cottage with the picket fence and the shady oak tree. 228 00:13:14,181 --> 00:13:17,912 If you stick around with me, kid, they'll ruin your life just like they've ruined mine. 229 00:13:17,984 --> 00:13:20,851 Hey, look, is it the black-and-white thing? 230 00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:26,751 - Because you should've said that up front. - All right, Johnny. 231 00:13:26,827 --> 00:13:28,988 You've forced me to say it. 232 00:13:29,062 --> 00:13:31,053 I hate you. 233 00:13:32,699 --> 00:13:35,395 You hear me? I hate you. I hate you! I despise you! 234 00:13:35,469 --> 00:13:38,165 If I never see that puppy dog face around here again, it'll be too soon. 235 00:13:38,238 --> 00:13:40,229 Now beat it. Scram! 236 00:13:40,307 --> 00:13:43,105 I'd better get out of here, 'cause you can't be hittin' a brother like that. 237 00:13:48,615 --> 00:13:50,879 Johnny! 238 00:13:50,951 --> 00:13:53,010 Johnny! 239 00:13:54,855 --> 00:13:57,824 That's right, Johnny. 240 00:13:57,891 --> 00:14:00,416 Save yourself. 241 00:14:00,494 --> 00:14:03,019 Run just as fast as your legs will carry you. 242 00:14:03,096 --> 00:14:05,621 Run to the ends of the earth if you have to, only don't look back... 243 00:14:05,699 --> 00:14:08,566 because I won't be here. 244 00:14:08,635 --> 00:14:12,503 But I love you, ya big palooka! 245 00:14:21,339 --> 00:14:24,968 Here we are. Funky Finger Productions. 246 00:14:25,043 --> 00:14:27,238 We are now in business. 247 00:14:27,312 --> 00:14:29,371 - [Man] Hello. - Oh. L-Look busy. 248 00:14:29,447 --> 00:14:32,177 - Okay. - [Together] Conference call. 249 00:14:33,418 --> 00:14:35,852 Now, don't get me wrong, now. 250 00:14:35,921 --> 00:14:38,719 Nell Carter is a gigantic talent. Humongous. 251 00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:41,452 But look here. What we're looking for, home skillet... 252 00:14:41,526 --> 00:14:44,859 is somebody who looks like Cicely Tyson... 253 00:14:44,930 --> 00:14:47,865 and sings like Peabo Bryson, ya know? 254 00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:51,960 Quincy, Stop playin'. Fresh Prince is gonna be all right. 255 00:14:52,037 --> 00:14:54,301 This here's long-distance. 256 00:14:54,372 --> 00:14:57,102 I'm here to hook up your phones. 257 00:14:57,175 --> 00:14:59,109 Now, ain't that a blip? 258 00:14:59,177 --> 00:15:02,806 Excuse me. I thought we had a bad connection. 259 00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:07,375 Finally, I found you! 260 00:15:07,452 --> 00:15:10,216 Ah, Mr. Iritani. Look here. 261 00:15:10,288 --> 00:15:12,984 I'm Clavell, and this here's my partner. 262 00:15:13,058 --> 00:15:15,026 Howard Tibbs III. How you feelin'? 263 00:15:15,093 --> 00:15:18,358 - Look just like Al Green. - Don't he? 264 00:15:18,430 --> 00:15:21,297 [Together] And we are Funky Finger Productions! 265 00:15:21,366 --> 00:15:23,425 Now look here. Let me give you one of my business cards. 266 00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:26,436 You know, I'm fresh out. Howard? 267 00:15:26,504 --> 00:15:28,870 Bam! 268 00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:30,874 Look here. Pay no attention to this... 269 00:15:30,942 --> 00:15:33,103 because that's my mother's recipe for succotash, all right? 270 00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:36,113 This is my sister Clorine's number on the back in pink crayon. 271 00:15:36,181 --> 00:15:38,206 Okay? Give her a call anytime. She down with it. 272 00:15:38,283 --> 00:15:43,186 But look here, if her boyfriend Beaudrow answers, you just better hang up. 273 00:15:43,255 --> 00:15:46,053 Listen, guys. I want my car. 274 00:15:46,124 --> 00:15:50,151 Now, look here. You seemed a little attitudinal with our unctuous behavior... 275 00:15:50,228 --> 00:15:52,594 when you met us outside of Spago's last night. 276 00:15:52,664 --> 00:15:55,633 Now, dig that. But that valet gig is just a way for us to spot new talent. 277 00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:58,498 That's right. You know, I didn't want to bring this up, chief... 278 00:15:58,570 --> 00:16:00,868 but you forgot to tip me, ya know? 279 00:16:00,939 --> 00:16:03,908 A tip? You gave me the keys to the wrong car. 280 00:16:03,975 --> 00:16:07,775 Look, I just came here to get my Mercedes, and I want it now. 281 00:16:07,846 --> 00:16:11,475 Now, we know you Japanese bought up Columbia and Universal... 282 00:16:11,549 --> 00:16:15,417 And it's not that we ain't down with the Asians. "Arigate." 283 00:16:15,487 --> 00:16:19,719 But we figured it was only a matter of time before y'all came after Funky Finger. 284 00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:23,124 - Dig that. - I thought I explained to you last night... 285 00:16:23,194 --> 00:16:25,128 that I'm not in show business. 286 00:16:25,196 --> 00:16:28,097 Well, that ain't nothing but a meatball. Excuse me. 287 00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:30,566 'Cause we got a sweet deal for you. You won't believe this. 288 00:16:30,635 --> 00:16:35,299 Sit down, brother. Howard, it's time to unveil our marketing plan. 289 00:16:35,373 --> 00:16:37,364 Bam! 290 00:16:39,511 --> 00:16:42,776 All right, now. Now, say we sign a major artist... 291 00:16:42,847 --> 00:16:44,781 like a, uh, Freddy Fender. 292 00:16:44,849 --> 00:16:46,942 Okay? Sign him for a record deal. 293 00:16:47,018 --> 00:16:49,145 - For how much? - A ducat. 294 00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:51,484 Sell every record for how much? 295 00:16:51,556 --> 00:16:54,286 A million records, that makes a million ducats. 296 00:16:54,359 --> 00:16:56,350 Say what? 297 00:16:56,428 --> 00:17:00,159 Freddy Fender's right on top with David Cassidy. You hear what I'm saying? 298 00:17:00,231 --> 00:17:03,223 - Look, I'm not interested in record deals. - Movie deal! 299 00:17:03,301 --> 00:17:06,361 - I just want my car! - Movies. See? 300 00:17:06,438 --> 00:17:08,736 Now, look here, homey. What we got here... 301 00:17:08,807 --> 00:17:12,299 is a sure-fire box office smash-ola. 302 00:17:12,377 --> 00:17:17,280 Now, see, it's a cross between The Poseidon Adventure and Dirty Dancing. 303 00:17:17,349 --> 00:17:21,718 See, we think the time is right for a, uh, water ballet disaster film. 304 00:17:21,786 --> 00:17:23,845 Clavey, give him the goods, could ya? 305 00:17:23,922 --> 00:17:26,584 I'm just gonna give him a taste. Gotta pay for the rest. 306 00:17:26,658 --> 00:17:29,058 Oh, you're gonna leave me hangin'. 307 00:17:29,127 --> 00:17:31,857 Ain't that right? 308 00:17:31,930 --> 00:17:35,297 Okay. We're rollin', homey. Oh, no! It's a tidal wave! 309 00:17:37,535 --> 00:17:39,696 Come on, now. Pull back. See? There it goes! 310 00:17:39,771 --> 00:17:41,705 There it goes. See? 311 00:17:41,773 --> 00:17:44,207 I'm drowning, but I'm dancing. Look here. I'm drowning, but I'm dancing. 312 00:17:44,275 --> 00:17:46,470 Look at this here. 313 00:17:46,544 --> 00:17:49,877 I'm drownin', but I'm dancin'. I'm drownin'. 314 00:17:49,948 --> 00:17:54,112 - He's sellin'this one, chief. - I'm dancin'! 315 00:17:54,185 --> 00:17:58,849 And Godzilla can be implemented quite easily... 316 00:17:58,923 --> 00:18:02,359 - as you can see. - I knew you'd love that. 317 00:18:02,427 --> 00:18:04,554 Your five minutes is up. 318 00:18:04,629 --> 00:18:08,190 I just want my car, or I'll call the police. 319 00:18:08,266 --> 00:18:10,826 - Hey, you ain't gotta do that! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Look here! 320 00:18:10,902 --> 00:18:13,735 We got the contracts in our Pinto, right next to the Cheez Doodles. 321 00:18:13,805 --> 00:18:16,103 Look here. Shall we give Bruce Lee a little taste on the sound track? 322 00:18:16,174 --> 00:18:18,369 Just a little tiny bit. ♪♪ [Vocalizing] 323 00:18:18,443 --> 00:18:21,503 - ♪ I'm dancin' ♪ - ♪ I'm drownin' ♪ 324 00:18:21,579 --> 00:18:23,774 ♪ I'm dancin' I'm drownin ♪ 325 00:18:23,848 --> 00:18:25,839 Temptations walk. 326 00:18:27,485 --> 00:18:29,646 Get it. Drop down in the pocket. 327 00:18:29,721 --> 00:18:31,712 And this one's for free, homey. 328 00:18:39,164 --> 00:18:41,689 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 329 00:19:12,897 --> 00:19:15,957 Blood pressure's stable at 120 over 70. 330 00:19:17,836 --> 00:19:20,930 Doc! How's my partner? Is he gonna pull through? 331 00:19:21,005 --> 00:19:23,872 He's in pretty bad shape. Take a look for yourself. 332 00:19:27,612 --> 00:19:29,739 Oh, my God! 333 00:19:29,814 --> 00:19:32,146 Look... Look, Doc... 334 00:19:32,217 --> 00:19:34,913 do whatever you gotta do, man, but please make him whole again! 335 00:19:34,986 --> 00:19:38,114 - We can rebuild him. We have the technology. - Thank God. 336 00:19:38,189 --> 00:19:40,123 It's gonna cost you six million dollars. 337 00:19:40,191 --> 00:19:42,921 Six million dollars? The department doesn't have that kind of money! 338 00:19:42,994 --> 00:19:45,292 - Fifteen thousand. - Look. 339 00:19:45,363 --> 00:19:49,265 I got um, 19, 20, 21, 22... 340 00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:54,670 25, 28, um, 45. 341 00:19:54,739 --> 00:19:57,537 All right? That's 28.45. 342 00:19:57,609 --> 00:20:01,602 I can't promise anything, but we'll try. 343 00:20:01,679 --> 00:20:04,512 He'll be a lot shorter and a little slower... 344 00:20:04,582 --> 00:20:07,949 - but at least he'll be alive. - Thanks, man. 345 00:20:08,019 --> 00:20:09,987 We gotta get you out of here. 346 00:20:11,923 --> 00:20:14,050 Hang in there, partner. 347 00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:16,821 [Man Narrating] Coming this spring to a theater near you... 348 00:20:19,364 --> 00:20:22,492 The Head always gets his man.! 349 00:20:25,970 --> 00:20:29,371 Let's just forget it, man. He's too far away. We'll never catch him. 350 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,874 - Throw me at him. - What? 351 00:20:31,943 --> 00:20:33,911 Just throw me at him. I can do it. 352 00:20:33,978 --> 00:20:36,742 - No way, man. Too dangerous. - Just do it! 353 00:20:39,517 --> 00:20:41,417 Aah! Watch my brain! 354 00:20:42,754 --> 00:20:46,918 - Way to go, Head.! - Freeze, slimeball! 355 00:20:46,991 --> 00:20:50,051 Don't make me chase you any further. 356 00:20:50,128 --> 00:20:52,221 [Narrator] And women find him irresistible. 357 00:20:52,297 --> 00:20:56,631 Yes! You've got incredible hands and feet, you animal, you. 358 00:21:01,673 --> 00:21:04,198 Oh, Detective Head... 359 00:21:04,275 --> 00:21:06,766 I never dreamed it could be like this. 360 00:21:06,844 --> 00:21:09,506 Well, you know what they say, baby... It's not what a man's got... 361 00:21:09,581 --> 00:21:11,515 it's how he uses it that counts. 362 00:21:11,583 --> 00:21:13,517 - [Sighing] - Stop tickling my feet. 363 00:21:13,585 --> 00:21:15,519 [Narrator] The Head Detective. 364 00:21:15,587 --> 00:21:18,147 Coming this spring to a theater near you. 365 00:21:23,428 --> 00:21:25,362 Thank you for hanging out one more time. 366 00:21:25,430 --> 00:21:29,764 Taking us home tonight, Motown recording artist Rich Nice. 367 00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:32,064 Oh, yeah. Here we go. Come on. 368 00:21:32,136 --> 00:21:34,366 Clap your hands. Everybody. Come on, clap. 369 00:21:34,439 --> 00:21:36,873 Clap your hands like this. All the ladies check it out. 370 00:21:36,941 --> 00:21:38,875 You know what? 371 00:21:38,943 --> 00:21:41,036 ♪♪ [Rapping] 372 00:22:08,339 --> 00:22:10,864 All the ladies in the house tonight, check this out. Come on. 373 00:22:10,942 --> 00:22:14,241 - All the ladies say, "Ow." - Ow! 374 00:22:14,312 --> 00:22:16,246 Say, "Ow, ow." 375 00:22:16,314 --> 00:22:19,078 - Everybody say, "Rich Nice." - Rich Nice! 376 00:22:19,150 --> 00:22:22,017 - Say, "Rich Nice." - Rich Nice! 377 00:22:22,086 --> 00:22:24,020 - Say, "Rich Nice." - Rich Nice! 378 00:22:24,088 --> 00:22:26,318 - Now, scream! - [Screaming] 379 00:22:26,391 --> 00:22:29,485 Just wave them hands like this. Everybody. Come on. Wave them hands. 380 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,960 That's right. Come on. Just wave them hands. 381 00:22:32,030 --> 00:22:35,966 Everybody, let me hear you say, "We came to the party." 382 00:22:36,034 --> 00:22:37,968 - We came to the party. - Check it out. 383 00:22:38,036 --> 00:22:40,061 For In Living Color, we gonna break it down like this. 384 00:22:40,138 --> 00:22:42,629 We go one, you go two. Check it out. 385 00:22:42,707 --> 00:22:45,175 One, two, three... Break it down. 386 00:22:45,243 --> 00:22:48,906 Oh, yeah. Check it out. Everybody in the house... 387 00:22:48,980 --> 00:22:51,847 let me hear you say, "In Living Color." 388 00:22:51,916 --> 00:22:53,850 In Living Color. 389 00:22:53,918 --> 00:22:56,785 Everybody say, "In Living Color." Come on! 390 00:22:56,854 --> 00:22:58,913 In Living Color. 391 00:22:58,990 --> 00:23:01,117 Come on, clap. Clap your hands. Come on. 392 00:23:01,192 --> 00:23:04,025 Come on, clap. Clap your hands. Everybody say... 34028

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