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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,323 --> 00:00:05,986 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 2 00:00:07,061 --> 00:00:09,188 ♪ In living color♪ 3 00:00:09,263 --> 00:00:11,823 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 4 00:00:11,899 --> 00:00:15,130 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 5 00:00:15,202 --> 00:00:19,195 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 6 00:00:19,273 --> 00:00:21,468 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 7 00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:24,010 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 8 00:00:24,078 --> 00:00:27,639 - ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 9 00:00:27,715 --> 00:00:30,809 ♪ And how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 10 00:00:30,885 --> 00:00:33,012 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 11 00:00:33,087 --> 00:00:35,885 - ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 12 00:00:35,957 --> 00:00:39,051 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 13 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,117 ♪ In living color♪ 14 00:00:42,496 --> 00:00:44,430 ♪ In living color♪ 15 00:00:44,498 --> 00:00:47,160 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 16 00:00:47,234 --> 00:00:52,399 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 17 00:00:52,473 --> 00:00:54,668 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 18 00:00:54,742 --> 00:00:57,176 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 19 00:00:57,244 --> 00:00:59,178 ♪ Everybody, everybody everybody, everybody ♪ 20 00:00:59,246 --> 00:01:02,977 - ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 21 00:01:03,050 --> 00:01:05,348 ♪ What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine ♪ 22 00:01:05,419 --> 00:01:07,580 ♪ In living c-c-c-olor♪ 23 00:01:08,990 --> 00:01:14,018 ♪ You can do what you wanna do in living color♪ 24 00:01:15,630 --> 00:01:17,495 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 25 00:01:17,565 --> 00:01:19,658 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 26 00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:21,827 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 27 00:01:21,902 --> 00:01:25,668 - ♪ Take it from me, it's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 28 00:01:25,740 --> 00:01:31,201 ♪ You can do what you wanna do in living color♪♪ 29 00:01:31,278 --> 00:01:33,610 [Audience Applauding, Cheering] 30 00:01:33,681 --> 00:01:36,775 [In Unison] Ladies and gentlemen, Keenen Ivory Wayans. 31 00:01:41,355 --> 00:01:44,256 Thank you. Thank you very much. 32 00:01:44,325 --> 00:01:47,488 Welcome to another show. You know, some people have criticized me... 33 00:01:47,561 --> 00:01:49,756 for not having any "Fly Guys" on the show. 34 00:01:49,830 --> 00:01:52,663 Some people have gone as far as to say... 35 00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:56,601 I might be a little, uh, threatened by the idea. 36 00:01:56,671 --> 00:02:00,471 Come on. That's not true at all. Tonight I'm gonna prove it. 37 00:02:00,541 --> 00:02:05,274 We're gonna have a very special "Fly Guy" performing with the Fly Girls tonight. 38 00:02:05,346 --> 00:02:07,974 He's a great dancer... young, good looking. 39 00:02:08,049 --> 00:02:10,847 So after tonight, I don't wanna hear a word. 40 00:02:10,918 --> 00:02:16,652 So let's give it up. Joining the Fly Girls, my man, CarlJamel Taylor. 41 00:02:16,724 --> 00:02:18,715 [Audience Applauding, Whooping] 42 00:02:18,793 --> 00:02:22,024 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 43 00:02:22,096 --> 00:02:26,590 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 44 00:02:26,667 --> 00:02:28,635 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 45 00:02:28,703 --> 00:02:31,399 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 46 00:02:31,472 --> 00:02:35,772 - ♪ Take it from me, it's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪♪ 47 00:02:37,912 --> 00:02:42,713 Lassie! Oh, Lassie! 48 00:02:42,783 --> 00:02:45,980 [Dog Barking, Growling] 49 00:02:50,624 --> 00:02:55,323 [Barking, Growling] 50 00:03:00,067 --> 00:03:04,470 But Mr. Tompkins, you simply have to fix some of the things around the apartment. 51 00:03:04,538 --> 00:03:06,563 I feel it's not safe for my son Timmy. 52 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:10,406 [Mr. Tompkins] I'll teach you to go on a rent strike. I'm not fixing anything. 53 00:03:10,478 --> 00:03:14,380 If you aren't out of there by sundown, I'm gonna send someone over there to help you... 54 00:03:14,448 --> 00:03:17,246 and your little dog too. 55 00:03:17,318 --> 00:03:21,277 - Uh-oh. - [Shrieks] 56 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:27,727 Oh, darn. Now we're trapped and have no way to call for help. 57 00:03:27,795 --> 00:03:32,630 Yes, we do. Lassie! Oh, Lassie! 58 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:38,704 [Panting] Now, Lassie, I want you to run and get help. 59 00:03:38,773 --> 00:03:41,799 Go, girl! Go! 60 00:03:41,876 --> 00:03:46,006 Meanwhile, Timmy, let's comfort ourselves with a song. 61 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:50,574 - ♪♪ [Singing Campfire Song] - ♪♪ [TimmyJoins In] 62 00:03:57,458 --> 00:04:00,359 Oh, a crowbar.! That will help.! 63 00:04:00,427 --> 00:04:04,363 - Good girl, Lassie. - [Grunts] 64 00:04:09,503 --> 00:04:14,406 Now, Lassie, this time I want you to get a variable-speed Makita band saw... 65 00:04:14,475 --> 00:04:17,239 with a carbide-tipped blade and sawdust bag. 66 00:04:17,311 --> 00:04:20,405 Hurry! 67 00:04:20,481 --> 00:04:24,178 - ♪♪ [Singing Resumes] - [Lassie Barking, Growling] 68 00:04:28,489 --> 00:04:31,481 [Barking, Growling Continue] 69 00:04:33,093 --> 00:04:35,857 Good girl. 70 00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:38,990 And did you bring the special A.C. Adapter? 71 00:04:43,404 --> 00:04:46,373 Good girl, Lassie. 72 00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:50,334 [Saw Whirring] 73 00:04:53,314 --> 00:04:55,805 [Barking, Growling] 74 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,211 I think Lassie's trying to tell us something. 75 00:05:02,289 --> 00:05:06,487 - What is it, girl? Do you sense danger? - [Continues Barking] 76 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:10,087 She's barking in Morse code. Only, we don't know Morse code. 77 00:05:10,164 --> 00:05:13,827 [Both Sighing] 78 00:05:13,901 --> 00:05:18,929 - [Timmy] What are you tryin'to tell us, girl? - Something to do with "arm"? 79 00:05:19,006 --> 00:05:22,373 Uh, your arm's too short to box with God? 80 00:05:24,178 --> 00:05:27,511 Armani? Giorgio Armani? 81 00:05:27,581 --> 00:05:31,176 Armistice! Lassie's trying to warn us that the arms reduction treaty... 82 00:05:31,252 --> 00:05:35,552 proposed at SALT II would be disadvantageous to NATO. 83 00:05:35,623 --> 00:05:39,753 - [Knocking] - [Man's Gruff Voice] Hey, we know you're in there.! 84 00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:44,127 - Open the door.! Tompkins sent us to collect the rent.! - [Lassie Growls] 85 00:05:44,198 --> 00:05:47,224 Sure enough, there are those evil henchmen now. 86 00:05:47,301 --> 00:05:51,328 - Good girl, Lassie. - [Knocking Continues] 87 00:05:51,405 --> 00:05:54,431 [Man] If you don't open this door, we'll tear it down. 88 00:05:54,508 --> 00:05:57,272 - Oh! - Timmy, what are we gonna do? 89 00:05:57,344 --> 00:06:01,508 [Low, Gruff Voice] If you lay a finger on this door, I'll chew off your arm... 90 00:06:01,582 --> 00:06:03,743 and shove it down your throat. 91 00:06:05,319 --> 00:06:09,221 - [Man] Uh, come on, guys. Let's get out ofhere. - [Footsteps Departing] 92 00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:12,123 Heavens to Betsy, Lassie! You can talk! 93 00:06:12,192 --> 00:06:15,161 I want you to forget you ever heard that. 94 00:06:15,229 --> 00:06:18,130 Aw, Lassie... 95 00:06:18,198 --> 00:06:21,827 you're the best darn dog in the whole world! 96 00:06:21,902 --> 00:06:25,030 [Barking, Growling] 97 00:06:33,147 --> 00:06:36,048 - [Spectators Chanting] Rocky! - Rocky, I know this is your big comeback... 98 00:06:36,116 --> 00:06:40,883 and I know I came back from the dead to train you, but this fight is pure insanity! 99 00:06:40,955 --> 00:06:45,756 No way, brother. You just wanna humil... humil... 100 00:06:45,826 --> 00:06:48,556 Easy, Rocky. Not too many syllables. 101 00:06:48,629 --> 00:06:53,862 I got light-headed there. Listen, I still got the eye of the tiger. You know that. 102 00:06:53,934 --> 00:06:57,836 Look, Rocky, you got the eye of a tiger and the I.Q. Of a lima bean. 103 00:06:57,905 --> 00:07:01,102 You're not gonna be fighting a man tonight. You'll be fightin' an animal. 104 00:07:01,175 --> 00:07:03,769 Animals don't scare me. 105 00:07:03,844 --> 00:07:08,508 - Yeah? Well, this one will. - [Growling] 106 00:07:08,582 --> 00:07:11,517 - [Spectators Chanting] Rocky! Rocky! Rocky! Rocky! - [Bell Ringing] 107 00:07:11,585 --> 00:07:14,611 All right, fans. Here we go. In the red corner... 108 00:07:14,688 --> 00:07:20,024 - the challenger: Rocky Balboa! - [Spectators Cheering] 109 00:07:22,563 --> 00:07:26,260 And in the blue corner, the undisputed champion of the world. 110 00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:31,066 Let's give it up for GraceJones! 111 00:07:31,138 --> 00:07:34,403 [Spectators Cheering Wildly] 112 00:07:42,683 --> 00:07:46,642 - [Bell Rings] - [Announcer] Rocky Vl: The Ultimate Challenge. 113 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,587 [Wild Cheering Continues] 114 00:07:52,292 --> 00:07:55,989 - Hello, Rocky. Do you find me sexy? - [Grunts] 115 00:07:56,063 --> 00:07:58,122 I said, do you find me sexy? 116 00:07:58,198 --> 00:08:00,723 [Growls] 117 00:08:00,801 --> 00:08:04,862 To tell you the truth, Grace, you're startin' to scare me a little. 118 00:08:04,938 --> 00:08:08,965 [Growls, Grunts] Harder! Faster! Harder! Faster! 119 00:08:09,043 --> 00:08:13,104 Harder! Faster! [Shrieking Laughter] 120 00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:17,446 Enough of the foreplay, Rocky. Is it gonna be your place or mine? 121 00:08:17,518 --> 00:08:21,249 Aw, come on, Grace. I got a wife and kid. 122 00:08:21,321 --> 00:08:24,085 Then I guess it's gonna be mine, Rocky. 123 00:08:25,826 --> 00:08:30,559 - [Spectators Booing] - ♪♪ [Grace Singing] 124 00:08:30,631 --> 00:08:34,226 - Adrian! - ♪♪ [Continues Singing] 125 00:08:34,301 --> 00:08:39,170 - Adrian! - [Spectators Chanting] Rocky.! Rocky.! Rocky.! Rocky.! 126 00:08:39,239 --> 00:08:44,575 Rocky.! Rocky.! Rocky.! Rocky.! Rocky.! Rocky.! 127 00:08:46,947 --> 00:08:49,347 ♪♪ [Dance] 128 00:09:18,745 --> 00:09:23,444 [Man] For those sensitive times of the month when emotions run close to the surface... 129 00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:27,112 Honey, look what I got. 130 00:09:27,187 --> 00:09:30,452 - Ohh. - Just because I love you. 131 00:09:30,524 --> 00:09:34,961 [Gasps] There's only nine. Where are the other three, cheapskate? 132 00:09:35,028 --> 00:09:38,293 God, you always take the easy way out! 133 00:09:38,365 --> 00:09:42,028 And another thing: I hate the way you chew your food with your mouth all over it... 134 00:09:42,102 --> 00:09:44,161 like some sort of bizarre barnyard animal! 135 00:09:44,238 --> 00:09:47,366 Just stay away from me! 136 00:09:47,441 --> 00:09:53,073 I can't seem to do anything right. Boy, could I use some help. 137 00:09:53,147 --> 00:09:55,911 [Man] For those special times of the month... 138 00:09:55,983 --> 00:09:58,178 you need the P.M.S. Defense System. 139 00:09:58,252 --> 00:10:03,019 Highly trained female counselors will talk you through even the most irrational P.M.S. Argument. 140 00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:07,652 For only $300 a year, you'll receive this transmitter that fits snugly in your ear... 141 00:10:07,728 --> 00:10:11,789 and keeps you in touch with P.M.S. Central 24 hours a day. 142 00:10:11,865 --> 00:10:15,460 Help. My wife has P.M.S., and I don't know what to do. 143 00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:19,630 Don't worry. I'm right here with you. 144 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:23,301 God. You're so insensitive.! 145 00:10:23,377 --> 00:10:27,313 - Why can't you be taller? - Hey, give me a... 146 00:10:27,381 --> 00:10:32,318 [Woman On Transmitter] Stop. Stop right there. Simply apologize. 147 00:10:32,386 --> 00:10:34,445 [Sobbing] 148 00:10:34,521 --> 00:10:38,821 I'm sorry, honey. You're right. 149 00:10:38,892 --> 00:10:42,350 I'll try to grow tomorrow. 150 00:10:42,429 --> 00:10:44,761 Tell her you love her. 151 00:10:44,831 --> 00:10:47,299 I love you. 152 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:53,565 - [Exhaling Softly] - See. It's that... It's that breathing thing. 153 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:57,542 In and out and in and out! God! You drive me crazy! [Screeching, Muttering] 154 00:10:57,611 --> 00:10:59,943 - [Alarm Blaring] - [Woman] She's already at Irrational Level Seven. 155 00:11:00,013 --> 00:11:05,383 This is a Code Red. Don't say a word. Just get her some pain reliever. 156 00:11:05,452 --> 00:11:09,081 Don't you see? This place is dust-ridden, and if I don't dust... 157 00:11:09,156 --> 00:11:12,148 then you'rejust gonna suck all the air out of the room.! 158 00:11:12,226 --> 00:11:17,926 - The bottle is empty! - Get out of the house! I repeat: Get out of the house! 159 00:11:17,998 --> 00:11:20,626 I can't! I'm trapped in a bathroom! 160 00:11:20,701 --> 00:11:24,034 - Is there a window? - Yeah, but it's five floors up. 161 00:11:24,104 --> 00:11:27,631 - Go for it! - [Wife Continues Screaming, Sobbing] 162 00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:32,077 The P.M.S. Defense System: Because no one should go through these times alone. 163 00:11:32,145 --> 00:11:35,376 [Knocking] 164 00:11:35,449 --> 00:11:40,910 Hey! Are you tryin' to avoid me or what? 165 00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:50,921 ♪♪ [Disco] 166 00:12:16,931 --> 00:12:20,094 - ♪♪ ['80s Pop] - [Announcer] And now... 167 00:12:20,167 --> 00:12:25,002 Public Access Television Channel 53 presents: Men on Vacation. 168 00:12:37,251 --> 00:12:42,279 - Hello. I'm Blayne Edwards. - And I'm Antoine Merrywether. 169 00:12:42,356 --> 00:12:46,258 [In Unison] And welcome to Men on Vacation. 170 00:12:46,327 --> 00:12:49,785 Today we'll be reviewing our little European vacation. 171 00:12:49,863 --> 00:12:52,764 From a male point of view. 172 00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:58,362 Here we are on our last stop on our whirlwind gallivant through Europa. 173 00:12:58,439 --> 00:13:01,931 Wait a minute. We got a new sponsor. 174 00:13:02,009 --> 00:13:04,978 Somebody better check their mail. 175 00:13:13,020 --> 00:13:17,252 Tonight's broadcast is brought to you byJewels... 176 00:13:17,324 --> 00:13:20,555 the gum that explodes in your mouth. 177 00:13:21,929 --> 00:13:24,454 I bet you just can't chew one. 178 00:13:24,531 --> 00:13:27,329 And who'd want to? 179 00:13:27,401 --> 00:13:30,336 We started our little trip in Greece. 180 00:13:30,404 --> 00:13:32,372 The Greek "peoples" was so nice. 181 00:13:32,439 --> 00:13:37,138 Yes. They bent over backwards to show us a good time. 182 00:13:37,211 --> 00:13:39,372 Oh, look. Excuse me. 183 00:13:39,446 --> 00:13:43,883 Not you, fish. You go back in the sea. 184 00:13:46,654 --> 00:13:48,747 Garçon. 185 00:13:50,024 --> 00:13:53,084 Oh, may I have another Wallbanger? 186 00:13:55,195 --> 00:13:58,187 - And for monsieur? - Oui, oui. 187 00:14:05,472 --> 00:14:09,568 - Bottoms up. - Ditto. 188 00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:14,774 Is that little Ricky Schroder? What's he doin' here? Don't let him see me. 189 00:14:16,316 --> 00:14:21,151 - Who's that with him? - You know, I think that's Erik Estrada. 190 00:14:21,221 --> 00:14:26,557 Oh, well. Anyway. Next we went to Holland, land of dikes. 191 00:14:26,627 --> 00:14:29,824 [In Unison] Hated it! 192 00:14:34,168 --> 00:14:37,103 And from there, it was on to merry old England. 193 00:14:37,171 --> 00:14:40,163 - Remember Big Ben? - Oh, how could I forget it? 194 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:44,609 It was so nice of him to show us around the city. 195 00:14:44,678 --> 00:14:48,239 Excuse me. Big Ben was a clock. 196 00:14:48,315 --> 00:14:51,807 Well, we both know what time that was. 197 00:14:51,885 --> 00:14:54,012 You'd better stop. 198 00:14:57,124 --> 00:15:00,924 You know, it's so chilly out here, my nipples are hard. 199 00:15:05,332 --> 00:15:09,428 Then it was just a hop, skip and jump on to gay Paris... 200 00:15:09,503 --> 00:15:13,269 but we decided to go back to Greece instead. 201 00:15:13,340 --> 00:15:17,037 And then it was on to Scotland. 202 00:15:17,111 --> 00:15:21,377 You know, I found it to be quite an open society... 203 00:15:21,448 --> 00:15:25,407 where "mens" are free to explore the feminine side of their nature. 204 00:15:25,486 --> 00:15:29,820 All those hairy legs and skirts holdin' them bagpipes. 205 00:15:29,890 --> 00:15:34,987 Mm-hmm. Not since the Fire Island Halloween Barn Dance... 206 00:15:35,062 --> 00:15:38,725 have I seen so many men in drag. 207 00:15:38,799 --> 00:15:42,826 Just a hint, fellas: Plaid is out this fall. 208 00:15:42,903 --> 00:15:48,705 Our next stop was Sweden, best known for its beautiful, buxom blondes. 209 00:15:48,776 --> 00:15:52,177 [In Unison] Hated it! 210 00:15:52,246 --> 00:15:55,841 So we went back to Greece. 211 00:15:55,916 --> 00:16:00,615 But it was very sad when we had to leave our soldier buddies behind... 212 00:16:00,687 --> 00:16:05,488 and travel to our final destination: The French Riviera... 213 00:16:05,559 --> 00:16:07,493 which is where we've been ever since. 214 00:16:07,561 --> 00:16:10,962 Oh, yes. And to sum up our little European vacation, we're gonna have... 215 00:16:11,031 --> 00:16:16,867 to give the whole trip a new and improved around-the-world-and-back snap. 216 00:16:20,707 --> 00:16:23,574 Tell a friend. 217 00:16:23,644 --> 00:16:26,807 Tune in next week, when we'll be back in the good old U.S. Of A... 218 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,246 reviewing the new release, Memphis Belle. 219 00:16:29,316 --> 00:16:32,843 It's the story of 10 young "mens" in leather jackets... 220 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,912 all sweaty, standin' next to each other... 221 00:16:35,989 --> 00:16:40,449 and them long, hard bombs crammed together in a little old cockpit. 222 00:16:42,229 --> 00:16:46,029 Well, grease my landing gear, I'm coming in for a landing. 223 00:16:50,304 --> 00:16:52,397 - Toodle-oo! - See you next week! Bye! 224 00:16:52,472 --> 00:16:55,407 ♪♪ ['80s Pop] 225 00:17:02,549 --> 00:17:06,315 [Audience Cheering, Applauding] 226 00:17:10,557 --> 00:17:13,924 All right. Thank you very much for hanging out with us tonight. 227 00:17:13,994 --> 00:17:18,397 Taking us home: Third Bass. 228 00:17:18,465 --> 00:17:23,061 [Man Talking, Indistinct] Come on, man. Get out of my way, man. Let me see everybody, man. 229 00:17:23,136 --> 00:17:26,697 - Oh, it's like that? - Yeah, it's like that. Keenen, this is from the group... 230 00:17:26,773 --> 00:17:29,503 and our boys Shirt Kings in Jamaica. 231 00:17:29,576 --> 00:17:32,602 - Congratulations. - Bust that. 232 00:17:32,679 --> 00:17:35,375 Rippin' that up forJimmy gettin' the job done. 233 00:17:35,449 --> 00:17:39,010 Too black, too strong for TV, you know what I'm sayin'? 234 00:17:39,086 --> 00:17:43,386 We wanna set this off the right way. Hey, yo, Richie Rich! 235 00:17:43,457 --> 00:17:47,291 [Indistinct] That's the way we gonna run this. 236 00:17:47,361 --> 00:17:50,023 ♪♪ [Rapping] 237 00:18:28,435 --> 00:18:30,733 ♪♪ [Continues] 238 00:18:36,176 --> 00:18:40,374 Come on, y'all.! Come on, y'all.! Put those hands in the air.! 239 00:18:45,953 --> 00:18:48,820 ♪♪ [Continues Rapping] 240 00:19:17,951 --> 00:19:20,442 ♪♪ [Ends] 21585

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