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♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
2
00:00:07,061 --> 00:00:09,256
♪ In living color♪
3
00:00:09,330 --> 00:00:11,890
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪
4
00:00:11,966 --> 00:00:15,197
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
5
00:00:15,269 --> 00:00:19,262
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ In living color♪
6
00:00:19,340 --> 00:00:21,535
♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
7
00:00:21,609 --> 00:00:24,077
♪ You see, it's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
8
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- ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪- ♪ In living color♪
9
00:00:27,782 --> 00:00:30,876
♪ And how would you feel knowingprejudice was obsolete ♪
10
00:00:30,952 --> 00:00:33,079
♪ And all mankind dancedto the exact beat ♪
11
00:00:33,154 --> 00:00:36,021
- ♪ And at night it was safeto walk down the street ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
12
00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:39,116
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
13
00:00:39,193 --> 00:00:41,184
♪ In living color♪
14
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♪ In living color♪
15
00:00:44,565 --> 00:00:47,227
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
16
00:00:47,301 --> 00:00:52,466
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ In living color♪
17
00:00:52,540 --> 00:00:54,735
♪ Everybody hereis equally kind ♪
18
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♪ Everybody hereis equally kind ♪
19
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♪ Everybody, everybodyeverybody, everybody ♪
20
00:00:59,313 --> 00:01:03,044
- ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪- ♪ In living color♪
21
00:01:03,117 --> 00:01:05,415
♪ What's mine is yoursand what's yours is mine ♪
22
00:01:05,486 --> 00:01:07,647
♪ In living c-c-c-olor♪
23
00:01:09,056 --> 00:01:14,084
♪ You can do what you wanna doin living color♪
24
00:01:15,529 --> 00:01:18,089
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪
25
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,723
♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
26
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,791
♪ You see, it's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
27
00:01:21,869 --> 00:01:25,737
- ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪- ♪ In living color♪
28
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♪ You can do what you wanna doin living color♪♪
29
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Ladies and gentlemen,
Keenen Ivory Wayans.
30
00:01:35,516 --> 00:01:37,711
[Audience Applauding, Cheering]
31
00:01:37,785 --> 00:01:40,379
[Applause, Cheering Continue]
32
00:01:46,594 --> 00:01:48,585
Thank you.
33
00:01:48,663 --> 00:01:50,688
Thank you very much.
Welcome to the show.
34
00:01:50,765 --> 00:01:53,359
- [Person Hoots]
- [Laughing]
35
00:01:53,434 --> 00:01:55,868
- Somebody call that man a doctor.
- [Person Yells]
36
00:01:55,936 --> 00:01:57,870
We appreciate y'all comin'.
We're gonna have a good time tonight.
37
00:01:57,938 --> 00:02:00,236
Got a lot of surprises,
so sit tight.
38
00:02:00,307 --> 00:02:02,241
We'll be back in a few.
Kick it.
39
00:02:02,309 --> 00:02:04,106
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
40
00:02:04,178 --> 00:02:09,480
♪ You can do what you wanna doin living color♪♪
41
00:02:18,125 --> 00:02:20,252
Jason Robards once said to me...
42
00:02:21,429 --> 00:02:23,522
Or was it Harvey Korman?
43
00:02:23,597 --> 00:02:25,292
Well, whoever.
44
00:02:25,366 --> 00:02:28,995
He said, " Some people
were born to act...
45
00:02:29,070 --> 00:02:31,664
"some people learn to act...
46
00:02:31,739 --> 00:02:34,731
and then there are
people like you."
47
00:02:34,809 --> 00:02:37,903
God, I was touched by that.
48
00:02:37,978 --> 00:02:41,914
The point is,
I took those words to heart.
49
00:02:41,982 --> 00:02:46,419
And it wasn't long after that that I landed
my breakthrough role in Friday the 13th.
50
00:02:46,487 --> 00:02:48,421
Let's take a look
at my performance, shall we?
51
00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:51,458
♪♪ [Suspense]
52
00:02:55,329 --> 00:02:58,765
- [Screams]
- Out of my way, bitch!
53
00:03:01,435 --> 00:03:03,562
[Screaming]
54
00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:08,602
Thanks. Thank you.
Thanks a lot.
55
00:03:08,676 --> 00:03:11,509
But, you know,
that took more than talent.
56
00:03:11,579 --> 00:03:14,070
That's a little something
called skill.
57
00:03:14,148 --> 00:03:16,082
That's technique.
58
00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:18,983
You're down on your knee, a throw back
of a shoulder and you're looking.
59
00:03:19,053 --> 00:03:22,750
And it's a single tear,
and we're out.
60
00:03:22,823 --> 00:03:25,223
Okay. Let's try some
simple exercises, shall we?
61
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,453
Up on your feet.
Come on. Line up.
62
00:03:30,064 --> 00:03:33,033
Okay. We're hailing a cab.
63
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:36,467
Come on, people.
You want that taxi.
64
00:03:36,537 --> 00:03:39,131
It's raining out. Yes.!
65
00:03:39,206 --> 00:03:41,800
All right.
Dialing a phone.
66
00:03:41,876 --> 00:03:43,468
Rotary.
67
00:03:44,879 --> 00:03:46,813
Yeah, okay.Push-button.
68
00:03:48,816 --> 00:03:50,909
All right, all right.
Calling the elevator.
69
00:03:52,052 --> 00:03:54,043
I didn't say up or down, did I?
70
00:03:54,121 --> 00:03:56,612
Let's be specific people.That is the key.
71
00:03:56,690 --> 00:04:01,320
- [Phone Rings]
- Uh, spray and wipe.
72
00:04:01,395 --> 00:04:03,124
Yeah?
73
00:04:03,197 --> 00:04:07,827
What? Bernie swore to me
I'd get that role.
74
00:04:07,902 --> 00:04:09,836
The only thing in the shot
was my hand.
75
00:04:09,904 --> 00:04:12,930
What do you mean
I looked bitter?
76
00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:15,271
Look, how many ways are there
to stir dog food?
77
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,469
L... I wanna talk to Bernie.
78
00:04:17,545 --> 00:04:19,672
Are you gonna be
off the phone soon, 'cause we...
79
00:04:19,747 --> 00:04:22,341
Look, you're gonna get
your 15 dollars' worth.
80
00:04:22,416 --> 00:04:24,680
Why don't you show 'em that clip of me
in the movie of the week.
81
00:04:24,752 --> 00:04:27,312
- The, uh, the love scene.
- Okay.
82
00:04:27,388 --> 00:04:29,856
Yeah.He's in a meeting with who?
83
00:04:29,924 --> 00:04:31,858
Jo Anne Worley.
Oh, my.
84
00:04:31,926 --> 00:04:34,895
I bet she's a hot property now, huh?
85
00:04:34,962 --> 00:04:38,295
- ♪♪ [Romantic]
- [No Audible Dialogue]
86
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,458
[No Audible Dialogue]
87
00:04:44,338 --> 00:04:46,329
Out of my way, bitch!
88
00:04:55,649 --> 00:04:59,415
Look, I'm callin' back in 20 minutes,
and Bernie better take my call.
89
00:04:59,486 --> 00:05:01,477
Hello? Hello?
90
00:05:04,058 --> 00:05:06,583
This isn't a coffee break, people.
Up on your feet.
91
00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:08,594
We're gonna drill
these brushbacks.
92
00:05:08,662 --> 00:05:10,562
Now, let's go.
Concentrate! Concentrate!
93
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:15,027
Get out my way!
94
00:05:15,102 --> 00:05:17,036
- Get out my way.
- Get outta my way.
95
00:05:17,104 --> 00:05:20,039
No, no, no!
You people are pathetic!
96
00:05:20,107 --> 00:05:24,407
Let's do it one couple at a time...
you and you. The rest of you sit down.
97
00:05:24,478 --> 00:05:26,776
- Focus.
- Out my way, bitch!
98
00:05:28,716 --> 00:05:30,650
You call that a fall, princess?
99
00:05:30,718 --> 00:05:32,709
You better stay
right there on the floor...
100
00:05:32,786 --> 00:05:34,947
'cause that's the only way
you're gonna get a role.
101
00:05:35,022 --> 00:05:37,547
Let's do our homework,shall we?
102
00:05:37,625 --> 00:05:39,820
- Who is this woman?
- Uh...
103
00:05:39,894 --> 00:05:43,489
Uh, she's somebody
I just got out my way?
104
00:05:43,564 --> 00:05:46,226
Yes, of course,
on the surface.
105
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:49,599
But who is she really?
What's her moment before?
106
00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:51,604
What makes her tick?
107
00:05:51,672 --> 00:05:54,300
How does she feel about beingpushed out of the way by this guy...
108
00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:56,809
about being treated like
something he stepped in...
109
00:05:56,877 --> 00:05:59,710
after she took him
into her apartment, into her bed?
110
00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:01,714
And what did he leave her...
nothing but that cold sore...
111
00:06:01,782 --> 00:06:05,411
that took me two weeks at the free clinic
just to get rid of.
112
00:06:05,486 --> 00:06:07,954
[Sobs]
113
00:06:08,022 --> 00:06:11,788
Look, obviously we're just not ready
for this sort of intensive work right now.
114
00:06:11,859 --> 00:06:13,793
Let's move on to something simpler,
shall we?
115
00:06:13,861 --> 00:06:16,830
- I'm sorry, Magenta, but I have to go now.
- You have to go now?
116
00:06:16,897 --> 00:06:19,957
- Mm-hmm.
- This is only the most important
class of your career.
117
00:06:20,034 --> 00:06:23,800
- What have you got, a hot date?
- No. Actually, I have an actin'job.
118
00:06:23,871 --> 00:06:26,135
Oh, she's got an acting job.
119
00:06:26,206 --> 00:06:29,334
Tina Louise has an acting job.
What sort of job could you get?
120
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:32,470
It's not much. All I have to do
is stir a bowl of dog food.
121
00:06:32,546 --> 00:06:34,309
Wait a second.
You're not going anywhere.
122
00:06:34,381 --> 00:06:37,373
How did you get that part?
You must have put out for the director.
123
00:06:37,451 --> 00:06:39,715
Get outta my way, bitch!
124
00:06:39,787 --> 00:06:42,585
[Grunts]
See? Now, see?
125
00:06:42,656 --> 00:06:46,023
I'm just acting. That's what
I was talking about... the technique.
126
00:06:46,093 --> 00:06:48,391
That's what Harvey Korman
was talking about.
127
00:06:48,462 --> 00:06:51,659
Or was it, uh,
Chad Everett?
128
00:06:51,732 --> 00:06:54,326
Well... Oh...
Who... Who played Mannix?
129
00:06:54,401 --> 00:06:56,733
Uh, Calvin Lockhart?
130
00:06:56,804 --> 00:07:00,296
No. Uh...
Uh, class dismissed.
131
00:07:06,847 --> 00:07:09,281
[Man Narrating]The following is a paid announcement...
132
00:07:09,350 --> 00:07:12,319
by the Foundation for Golf Heritage.
133
00:07:12,386 --> 00:07:15,583
The views presentedare not those of this station.
134
00:07:15,656 --> 00:07:21,117
- [No Audible Dialogue]
- Hi. I'm G.D. "Bud" Simmons...
135
00:07:21,195 --> 00:07:24,995
membership chairman
of the Shoal Creek Country Club...
136
00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:28,091
here in Birmingham, Alabama.
137
00:07:28,168 --> 00:07:32,195
In recent weeks,
we have received some...
138
00:07:33,307 --> 00:07:36,242
negative publicity.
139
00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:41,304
The P.G.A. Refused to let us
host a major tournament...
140
00:07:41,382 --> 00:07:44,749
because we have
no black members.
141
00:07:44,818 --> 00:07:48,754
Now, what we have here...
142
00:07:48,822 --> 00:07:52,815
is a failure to communicate.
143
00:07:52,893 --> 00:07:54,827
As you can see...
144
00:07:54,895 --> 00:07:59,264
there has always been
a place for blacks at our club...
145
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:02,825
as long as they're not holdin' one.
146
00:08:02,903 --> 00:08:06,566
Golf has always been
a white game.
147
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:12,579
It was invented by a white man
in Scotland 200 years ago.
148
00:08:12,646 --> 00:08:17,015
If God had meant
for blacks to play golf...
149
00:08:17,084 --> 00:08:20,383
he wouldn't have made it
so expensive.
150
00:08:21,422 --> 00:08:24,118
Let us have our game.
151
00:08:24,191 --> 00:08:26,989
After all,
we didn't complain...
152
00:08:27,061 --> 00:08:30,394
when the Negroes
took over basketball.
153
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:35,159
Some other clubs
have admitted black members...
154
00:08:35,235 --> 00:08:39,638
and the results have been
a mite disturbing.
155
00:08:39,706 --> 00:08:43,301
Here is some film we shot
in a recent trip...
156
00:08:43,377 --> 00:08:48,576
to a formerly all-white club
near Atlanta.
157
00:08:48,649 --> 00:08:51,117
[Birds Chirping]
158
00:08:53,854 --> 00:08:55,947
♪♪ [Man Shouts]
159
00:08:56,023 --> 00:08:58,890
- ♪♪ [Loud, Thumping Rap Beat]
- ♪♪ [Singing]
160
00:08:58,959 --> 00:09:02,087
- ♪♪ [Continues Loud]- ♪♪ [Man Vocalizing]
161
00:09:07,868 --> 00:09:10,564
♪♪ [Woman Rapping]
162
00:09:45,038 --> 00:09:47,529
♪♪ [Continues]
163
00:09:51,778 --> 00:09:55,145
- ♪♪ [Man Shouts]- ♪♪ [Singing]
164
00:09:55,215 --> 00:09:59,777
- ♪♪ [Ends]- [Bud Simmons] Frightenin', isn't it?
165
00:09:59,853 --> 00:10:02,185
If you agree with us...
166
00:10:02,256 --> 00:10:07,694
that the heritage of the great game
of golf should be preserved...
167
00:10:07,761 --> 00:10:12,892
write to us at the Foundation
for Golf Heritage.
168
00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:17,096
We'll send you
one of our bumper stickers.
169
00:10:17,171 --> 00:10:21,631
We don't eat our greens.
We play on them.
170
00:10:22,876 --> 00:10:24,867
Thank you.
171
00:10:26,113 --> 00:10:26,980
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
172
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:29,107
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
173
00:10:41,695 --> 00:10:43,492
♪♪ [Woman Singing, Indistinct]
174
00:11:00,997 --> 00:11:02,988
- [People Chattering]
- Excuse us.
175
00:11:06,135 --> 00:11:09,104
You know, I don't usually
go on blind dates...
176
00:11:09,171 --> 00:11:11,162
but I'm really glad
Susan fixed us up.
177
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:14,869
- You think this is a good idea?
- Yeah. I'm gonna have a great time.
178
00:11:14,944 --> 00:11:18,107
- You didn't think you would?
- No, I thought I'd have a great time.
179
00:11:18,180 --> 00:11:22,549
- Okay.
- You're a lot prettier
than Susan said you would be.
180
00:11:22,618 --> 00:11:26,110
Oh. What do you mean?
Did she say I was ugly?
181
00:11:26,188 --> 00:11:29,589
She didn't say you were ugly.
She said you had beautiful eyes.
182
00:11:29,658 --> 00:11:31,649
- I agree with her.
- Oh.
183
00:11:31,727 --> 00:11:35,322
Well, what else did she say?
She said I was fat, didn't she?
184
00:11:35,398 --> 00:11:38,060
She didn't say you were fat.
She said you were a court stenographer.
185
00:11:38,134 --> 00:11:40,102
- Yeah, yeah.
- Which I think is kind of an odd career.
186
00:11:40,169 --> 00:11:42,729
- I mean, I've never heard of anybody...
- What? Do you think I'm stupid?
187
00:11:42,805 --> 00:11:45,638
I don't think you're stupid. I just think
that that's an interesting career...
188
00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:47,699
for someone as beautiful
and as intelligent as yourself.
189
00:11:47,777 --> 00:11:49,802
- Oh-Oh-Oh. You think I'm too brainy.
- No, I don't think...
190
00:11:49,879 --> 00:11:51,972
You think I'm a nerd
like Urkel on Family Matters.
191
00:11:52,048 --> 00:11:55,882
- I know you didn't say it,
but you were thinking that.
- I wasn't thinking that at all.
192
00:11:55,951 --> 00:11:58,112
I'm just sayin' it's not...
Popcorn?
193
00:11:58,187 --> 00:12:01,020
- No, thanks. No, but thanks.
- Okay.
194
00:12:02,658 --> 00:12:05,092
- So, let me tell you a little bit about myself.
- Okay.
195
00:12:05,161 --> 00:12:08,153
I work for Jet magazine.
I just got the cover.
196
00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:11,563
- It took me about two months...
- You weren't gonna offer me that
one more time... the popcorn?
197
00:12:11,634 --> 00:12:13,568
- What? You want...
- You think I have a weight problem, don't you?
198
00:12:13,636 --> 00:12:16,230
- I don't think...
- It's these pants. I look really
fat in these pants, don't I?
199
00:12:16,305 --> 00:12:19,274
- No, you look great. You look skinny.
- I know.
200
00:12:19,341 --> 00:12:21,775
I mean, not "skinny" skinny.
I mean slim, you know?
201
00:12:21,844 --> 00:12:24,438
Nice body. Not like
I'm into that or anything.
202
00:12:24,513 --> 00:12:26,674
You know, but...
Popcorn?
203
00:12:26,749 --> 00:12:29,650
If you insist.
204
00:12:29,718 --> 00:12:31,652
You think I have
a really big face, don't you?
205
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,553
I don't think you have a big face.
You have a beautiful face.
206
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:36,557
Your nose... like a button.
Look at that.
207
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:39,093
Your feet... nice and small.
Perfect, like a concubine's.
208
00:12:39,161 --> 00:12:41,823
Look at your arm. Perfect.
Look at that balance. Look at the balance.
209
00:12:41,897 --> 00:12:43,831
Look at that.
You're perfect. Look at you.
210
00:12:43,899 --> 00:12:46,459
Torso... perfect, girl.
You are perfect.
211
00:12:49,205 --> 00:12:51,173
- You didn't say anything about my neck.
- Your neck...
212
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,141
and clavicle are perfect.
213
00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:56,201
Okay.
214
00:12:57,646 --> 00:13:00,615
I'm really glad we chose this movie.
I love Meryl Streep.
215
00:13:02,051 --> 00:13:03,985
You think she's prettier
than I am, don't you?
216
00:13:04,053 --> 00:13:06,248
- You think she's a lot, lot prettier.
- I don't think she's prettier.
217
00:13:06,322 --> 00:13:08,256
No. You the prettiest...
Look in the theater.
218
00:13:08,324 --> 00:13:10,315
You are the prettiest one here.
Look around you. You're pretty.
219
00:13:10,392 --> 00:13:12,383
I'm tellin' you.
Girl, you the one.
220
00:13:16,031 --> 00:13:17,965
[Sighs] Can we watch the movie?
Are you all right?
221
00:13:18,033 --> 00:13:19,864
- Yeah.
- Okay.
222
00:13:21,237 --> 00:13:24,229
♪♪ [Movie: Romantic]
223
00:13:27,776 --> 00:13:29,869
- Why do you like her so much better than me?
- I don't like her better...
224
00:13:29,945 --> 00:13:32,345
- Because she has a big chest? Is that it?
- I don't even know her.
225
00:13:32,414 --> 00:13:35,577
I don't even know you.
Not that I don't want to get to know you.
226
00:13:35,651 --> 00:13:37,983
You got a nice chest. I like your chest.
You got a nice chest.
227
00:13:38,053 --> 00:13:40,817
You got big, bodacious ta-tas,
all right!
228
00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:43,051
[All Shushing]
229
00:13:48,430 --> 00:13:50,421
- Okay?
- Okay.
230
00:13:55,471 --> 00:13:57,939
- Carl, why do you hate me?
- Damn!
231
00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:02,666
Look.
Here's a quarter.
232
00:14:02,745 --> 00:14:05,179
Call a cab, find some help.
233
00:14:05,247 --> 00:14:07,477
Have some popcorn.
I'm outta here.
234
00:14:10,753 --> 00:14:13,847
Can you believe that guy dumped me just
because I have a little weight problem?
235
00:14:13,923 --> 00:14:15,857
God, can you...
236
00:14:15,925 --> 00:14:17,859
Do you think I look fat
in these jeans?
237
00:14:17,927 --> 00:14:20,020
I know you didn't
say anything, but...
238
00:14:29,205 --> 00:14:31,696
♪♪ [Industrial]
239
00:14:37,279 --> 00:14:39,270
♪♪ [Man Shouts]
240
00:15:02,271 --> 00:15:05,138
♪♪ [Fifties, Upbeat]
241
00:15:08,277 --> 00:15:11,110
- Shoot.
- Hiya, Rick!
- Hi, Ethel.
242
00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:15,640
Mornin', Laquita. I just came over
to borrow a cup of Slim-Fast.
243
00:15:15,718 --> 00:15:18,482
Aw, now, Laquita,
what's the matter this time?
244
00:15:18,554 --> 00:15:20,749
Ethel, Ricky forgot my birthday.
245
00:15:20,823 --> 00:15:23,348
Aw, now, honey, you know
he always surprises you.
246
00:15:23,425 --> 00:15:26,394
- Maybe he left your present
in the kitchen like last year.
- You think so?
247
00:15:26,462 --> 00:15:28,191
- Well, sure.
- Let's go peep it out.
248
00:15:30,666 --> 00:15:33,692
[Man On Radio] We interrupt this program
to bring you a special report.
249
00:15:33,769 --> 00:15:36,704
The Billy Dee Williams
look-alike bandit has escaped.
250
00:15:36,772 --> 00:15:41,607
Do not... repeat... do not let anyone into your home
who looks like Billy Dee Williams.
251
00:15:41,677 --> 00:15:45,704
- We now return
to your regularly scheduled program.
- ♪♪ [Rumba]
252
00:15:45,781 --> 00:15:48,011
- [Tsking]
- I can't believe it...
253
00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:50,017
totally dissed on my birthday.
254
00:15:50,085 --> 00:15:52,053
Aw, now, honey.
255
00:15:52,121 --> 00:15:55,386
- That's one cheap,
penny-pinching Cuban tightwad.
- [Doorbell Buzzes]
256
00:15:58,093 --> 00:16:00,687
[Gasps]
257
00:16:00,763 --> 00:16:02,924
Hello, beautiful.
258
00:16:02,998 --> 00:16:06,161
- Billy Dee Williams!
- [Ethel] Oh, my.!
259
00:16:06,235 --> 00:16:08,703
Well, do you want my arm
to fall off?
260
00:16:08,771 --> 00:16:11,706
- Oh, my goodness.
- How do you do? I'm Ethel Mertz.
261
00:16:11,774 --> 00:16:14,971
- Charmed to meet you.
- Well, Ethel, I wish you could stay...
262
00:16:15,044 --> 00:16:16,978
but sorry you gotta go
see that doctor.
263
00:16:17,046 --> 00:16:20,413
- I don't have to go to a doctor.
- You do now.
264
00:16:20,482 --> 00:16:24,782
- [Screaming]
- [Tumbling Down Stairs]
265
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:27,048
So, Ricky send you
to surprise me?
266
00:16:27,122 --> 00:16:30,023
Uh, yeah, that's right.
Richie sent me here to surprise you.
267
00:16:30,092 --> 00:16:33,186
Ooh, ooh. Billy, you gotta see
my Diana Ross act.
268
00:16:33,262 --> 00:16:37,130
I do all the great scenes from Mahogany
and stuff. All of them!
269
00:16:37,199 --> 00:16:39,224
Well, I'd be honored, Fajita.
270
00:16:40,536 --> 00:16:42,470
That's Laquita.
271
00:16:42,538 --> 00:16:46,702
All right, so you sit back, take a chill pill,
kick off your shoes, relax.
272
00:16:46,775 --> 00:16:49,209
- I'm-a go get ready, okay?
- All right.
273
00:16:49,278 --> 00:16:51,269
Take your time, Laguna.
274
00:16:53,015 --> 00:16:55,040
[Door Closes]
275
00:17:09,064 --> 00:17:11,055
[Chuckling]
276
00:17:17,039 --> 00:17:19,234
Just take your coat off
and relax, okay?
277
00:17:19,308 --> 00:17:21,242
All right.
Thank you.
278
00:17:26,348 --> 00:17:30,216
I'm a winner!
I'm a winner!
279
00:17:30,285 --> 00:17:35,245
And everybody loves me...
Mahogany!
280
00:17:35,324 --> 00:17:38,521
And you can't stand it.
Do you know why?
281
00:17:38,594 --> 00:17:42,223
Because you're a loser!
282
00:17:43,832 --> 00:17:46,665
- Laquita!
- Ricky!
283
00:17:46,735 --> 00:17:50,432
[Wailing]
284
00:17:50,506 --> 00:17:53,270
If I told you once,
I told you a thousand times...
285
00:17:53,342 --> 00:17:55,333
Oh, that's okay, Ricky.
I thought she was very good.
286
00:17:55,411 --> 00:17:59,279
- My pleasure meeting you, Laquita.
- But we already met.
287
00:17:59,348 --> 00:18:03,444
I would've remembered meeting someone
like you, someone as charming as you.
288
00:18:03,519 --> 00:18:06,352
That's true.
289
00:18:06,422 --> 00:18:10,358
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'd like to, uh, clean up a little bit.
290
00:18:10,426 --> 00:18:12,758
- Oh, right through here, Billy.
- Yeah.
291
00:18:12,828 --> 00:18:15,592
- Just use anything you like.
- Thank you.
292
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,068
[Ricky]Billy.! Billy.!
293
00:18:21,136 --> 00:18:23,730
- How'd you get there?
- Uh...
294
00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:26,832
Lobotomy let me in.
295
00:18:31,847 --> 00:18:34,577
- I thought I told you to relax.
- Right.
296
00:18:34,650 --> 00:18:36,584
- Here, take your coat off.
- Sure, sure.
297
00:18:36,652 --> 00:18:39,143
- Okay?
- Yeah, good.
298
00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:41,155
Laquita?
299
00:18:41,223 --> 00:18:43,817
Can I talk to you
in the kitchen?
300
00:18:43,892 --> 00:18:45,883
Now.
301
00:18:45,961 --> 00:18:47,952
- [Stomping]
- Shoot!
302
00:19:03,779 --> 00:19:05,474
Hello?
303
00:19:05,547 --> 00:19:07,538
What happened to everybody?
304
00:19:13,622 --> 00:19:15,613
[Both, Simultaneously]
Have we met?
305
00:19:16,959 --> 00:19:19,393
You look familiar.
306
00:19:19,461 --> 00:19:21,395
Who are you?
307
00:19:21,463 --> 00:19:24,023
[Laughing]
I'm Billy Dee Williams.
308
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:28,799
- [Gasps]
- ¡A yayay.!
309
00:19:28,871 --> 00:19:32,068
I am confused.
310
00:19:32,140 --> 00:19:34,074
Uh, that's him!
That's him!
311
00:19:34,142 --> 00:19:37,305
That's the clown that's been impersonating me
and rippin' people off.
312
00:19:37,379 --> 00:19:40,143
Are you gonna believe this clown?
Look at him. He doesn't have any class.
313
00:19:40,215 --> 00:19:43,241
"Class"? Buddy,
you wouldn't know "class"...
314
00:19:43,318 --> 00:19:46,913
if it walked up
and bit you on the behind.
315
00:19:46,989 --> 00:19:50,584
- Freeze! Everybody!
- All right! We got the bandit cornered.
316
00:19:50,659 --> 00:19:52,991
- Yeah, Sarge, but which one's the impostor?
- [Laquita] Wait a minute.!
317
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:55,655
I know who the impostor is.
318
00:19:55,731 --> 00:19:57,392
- How?
- How?
319
00:19:57,466 --> 00:20:00,401
'Cause if anybody know Billy Dee,
it's me.
320
00:20:00,469 --> 00:20:02,960
All right, you,step up.
321
00:20:04,239 --> 00:20:07,208
Step up.
I'm callin' you out.
322
00:20:08,877 --> 00:20:13,109
All right, now.
This is the scene from Mahogany.
323
00:20:13,181 --> 00:20:16,048
It's snowin',
you makin' a speech...
324
00:20:16,118 --> 00:20:18,814
and Diana Ross
is hidin' in the crowd.
325
00:20:18,887 --> 00:20:20,377
Now go.
326
00:20:20,455 --> 00:20:23,891
Madam, would you be willing
to put your imagination to work...
327
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:27,224
on behalf of the cause
that your man's fighting for?
328
00:20:27,296 --> 00:20:29,196
- Yes!
- Madam...
329
00:20:29,264 --> 00:20:34,065
will you love and cherish him
for the rest of his life?
330
00:20:34,136 --> 00:20:35,694
Yes!
331
00:20:35,771 --> 00:20:38,865
If you're willing
to do all of that...
332
00:20:38,941 --> 00:20:44,004
then I guarantee
that you'll get your man back.
333
00:20:44,079 --> 00:20:46,570
Officer?
334
00:20:46,648 --> 00:20:49,640
I know just who
your criminal is.
335
00:20:49,718 --> 00:20:52,653
- This is him.
- All right, buster, you're goin' with us.
336
00:20:52,721 --> 00:20:54,655
Wait! Hold your horses,
gentlemen.
337
00:20:54,723 --> 00:20:56,953
Laquita's forgetting
the end of that scene.
338
00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,951
Is that so?
339
00:21:16,745 --> 00:21:18,736
[Gasps]
340
00:21:21,249 --> 00:21:24,082
That's the impostor!
That's the impostor!
341
00:21:24,152 --> 00:21:26,985
- Hey, hey! Wait a minute!
- This is definitely Billy Dee!
342
00:21:27,055 --> 00:21:29,649
Wait a minute, Dorito.
343
00:21:31,460 --> 00:21:33,428
Aren't you gonna kiss me too?
344
00:21:33,495 --> 00:21:35,224
Kiss you?
345
00:21:35,297 --> 00:21:37,424
I'd sooner kiss
my own brother.
346
00:21:43,238 --> 00:21:45,206
Laquita!
347
00:21:51,613 --> 00:21:56,414
- [Audience Cheering, Applauding]
- All right.
348
00:21:56,485 --> 00:21:59,477
As usual, I'd like to thank
my Fly Girls and SW1...
349
00:21:59,554 --> 00:22:01,488
and everybody else
for doing this show.
350
00:22:01,556 --> 00:22:04,184
Hey, Keenen, here's a taste
of your own medicine.
351
00:22:04,259 --> 00:22:08,286
I hope you liked it, and don't forget
to tune in again next week.
352
00:22:08,363 --> 00:22:11,764
You know the time,
you know the place.
353
00:22:11,833 --> 00:22:16,327
- [Cast, Audience Cheering]
- ♪♪ [Theme]
354
00:23:03,318 --> 00:23:05,650
♪ You can dowhat you wanna do ♪♪
29359
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