All language subtitles for In Living Color s02e06 - DVDrip.Xvid.mp3

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,023 --> 00:00:05,049 Hi. I'm Keenan Ivory Wayans, and welcome to the show. 2 00:00:05,126 --> 00:00:08,562 You know, I've been trying to think of different ways to open the show. 3 00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:10,927 And tonight, I said to myself, okay. 4 00:00:10,998 --> 00:00:14,764 Now, what could I possibly do to get it started large? 5 00:00:14,835 --> 00:00:17,895 I couldn't think of anything better than my main man... 6 00:00:17,972 --> 00:00:20,873 from money-earnin' Mount Vernon, Heavy D. 7 00:00:23,945 --> 00:00:26,641 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 8 00:00:26,714 --> 00:00:29,478 ♪ In living color♪ 9 00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:31,484 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 10 00:00:31,552 --> 00:00:34,988 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 11 00:00:35,056 --> 00:00:38,856 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 12 00:00:38,926 --> 00:00:41,417 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 13 00:00:41,495 --> 00:00:43,656 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 14 00:00:43,731 --> 00:00:47,292 - ♪ Take it from me, it's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 15 00:00:47,368 --> 00:00:50,462 ♪ And how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 16 00:00:50,538 --> 00:00:52,665 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 17 00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:55,504 - ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 18 00:00:55,576 --> 00:00:58,704 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 19 00:00:58,779 --> 00:01:00,770 ♪ In living color♪ 20 00:01:02,516 --> 00:01:04,074 ♪ In living color♪ 21 00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,813 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 22 00:01:06,887 --> 00:01:11,586 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 23 00:01:12,793 --> 00:01:14,317 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 24 00:01:14,395 --> 00:01:16,829 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 25 00:01:16,897 --> 00:01:18,831 ♪ Everybody, everybody everybody, everybody ♪ 26 00:01:18,899 --> 00:01:22,630 - ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 27 00:01:22,703 --> 00:01:25,001 ♪ What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine ♪ 28 00:01:25,072 --> 00:01:28,667 ♪ In living c-c-c-olor♪ 29 00:01:28,743 --> 00:01:32,611 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 30 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,649 ♪ In living color♪ 31 00:01:35,716 --> 00:01:37,809 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 32 00:01:37,885 --> 00:01:43,619 ♪ You can do what you wanna do in living color♪ 33 00:01:43,691 --> 00:01:47,149 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 34 00:01:47,228 --> 00:01:49,594 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 35 00:01:49,664 --> 00:01:53,725 - ♪ Take it from me, it's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 36 00:01:53,801 --> 00:01:55,860 ♪ And how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 37 00:01:55,936 --> 00:01:57,927 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 38 00:01:58,005 --> 00:02:01,099 - ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 39 00:02:01,175 --> 00:02:05,373 ♪ You can do what you Do what you, do, do, do ♪ 40 00:02:05,446 --> 00:02:08,540 ♪ Do, do what you wanna do ♪ 41 00:02:08,616 --> 00:02:11,744 ♪ In living color♪ 42 00:02:11,819 --> 00:02:13,844 ♪ In living color♪ 43 00:02:13,921 --> 00:02:17,516 - ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 44 00:02:17,591 --> 00:02:20,185 ♪ What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine ♪ 45 00:02:20,261 --> 00:02:24,527 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ How would you feel knowin' everybody was your friend ♪ 46 00:02:24,598 --> 00:02:26,589 ♪ From thin to thick And through thick and thin ♪ 47 00:02:26,667 --> 00:02:28,658 ♪ And egotistical trips was put to an end ♪ 48 00:02:28,736 --> 00:02:33,696 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 49 00:02:33,774 --> 00:02:37,005 - ♪ In living color♪♪ - [Audience Applauding, Cheering] 50 00:02:44,018 --> 00:02:47,112 [In Jamaican Accent] All rise. This court is now in session. 51 00:02:47,188 --> 00:02:50,089 The Honorable Godfrey Headley presiding! 52 00:02:51,759 --> 00:02:53,693 Hey, mon! 53 00:02:53,761 --> 00:02:56,252 [Announcer] Hold on to your briefs, it's time for another episode... 54 00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:59,527 of"Hey Mon,"starring that hard-working judicial family... 55 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,625 the Headleys.! 56 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,975 Bring in the first defendant. 57 00:03:12,913 --> 00:03:15,404 Will the clerk of the court read the charges? 58 00:03:17,351 --> 00:03:21,685 The People vs. Beverly Trapp, soliciting for prostitution! 59 00:03:23,023 --> 00:03:25,355 Is the counsel for defense present? 60 00:03:25,426 --> 00:03:30,056 - I am here, Your Honor. - Then is the prosecutor present? 61 00:03:30,131 --> 00:03:32,793 I am, Your Honor. 62 00:03:32,867 --> 00:03:35,961 Wait a minute. You're the judge and the prosecutor? 63 00:03:36,036 --> 00:03:38,129 That's right. I'm also the night court judge, the circuit judge... 64 00:03:38,205 --> 00:03:40,230 the tennis court judge, the judge of Star Search... 65 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:43,333 a good judge of character and the understudy forJudge Reinhold. 66 00:03:45,479 --> 00:03:47,413 That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 67 00:03:47,481 --> 00:03:49,779 I'll be the judge of that. 68 00:03:50,885 --> 00:03:55,345 Mr. Prosecutor, call your first witness. 69 00:03:55,422 --> 00:03:57,686 I call my "semi-lazical," 70 00:03:57,758 --> 00:04:01,216 hardly-got-six-jobs son Byron to the stand. 71 00:04:01,295 --> 00:04:05,231 Hurry up, Rasta boy. You're slow as the sap on a coconut tree. 72 00:04:09,904 --> 00:04:13,431 Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothin' but the truth? 73 00:04:13,507 --> 00:04:16,704 - I do. - Then who was the girl I seen you with the other night? 74 00:04:16,777 --> 00:04:19,177 - What's she talkin' about? - Bailiff! 75 00:04:19,246 --> 00:04:22,545 I'll ask the questions 'ere. 76 00:04:22,616 --> 00:04:25,847 - Rambo Rasta Rambo boy. - What you talkin' about? 77 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,388 Who was the woman you saw her with last night? 78 00:04:28,455 --> 00:04:31,583 - She was a prostitute! - [Judge, Bailiff Gasping] 79 00:04:31,659 --> 00:04:34,651 - I was workin'! - [Both Sighing] 80 00:04:34,728 --> 00:04:36,662 And what do you do for a job? 81 00:04:36,730 --> 00:04:38,664 I'm an undercover officer, a parole officer, 82 00:04:38,732 --> 00:04:40,666 a narcotics officer, chief petty officer, 83 00:04:40,734 --> 00:04:42,861 a petty chief officer, a officer and a gentleman, 84 00:04:42,937 --> 00:04:45,906 and I'm a makeup man forJudge Reinhold. 85 00:04:45,973 --> 00:04:48,965 Now, boy. Tell thejudge what happen.! 86 00:04:49,043 --> 00:04:52,945 - I was workin' as an undercover Japanese businessman. - Uh-huh. 87 00:04:53,013 --> 00:04:55,004 Then this woman, she come whisperin' somethin' in my ear. 88 00:04:55,082 --> 00:04:57,016 Somethin' about "givin' me a job" or somethin'! 89 00:04:57,084 --> 00:05:00,520 - Oh, so this involves jobs! - It certainly does. 90 00:05:00,588 --> 00:05:03,113 And, how many jobs do you do? 91 00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:08,253 Uh, I been known to do, uh, 20 jobs in a night, give or take. 92 00:05:08,329 --> 00:05:12,732 Whoo! Twenty job in one night! 93 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:16,167 You one hard-working heifer. 94 00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:22,366 Case dismissed. I want you to meet me in my chamber. 95 00:05:25,446 --> 00:05:27,437 Next.! 96 00:05:31,785 --> 00:05:35,949 The People vs. Ryan Thomas, armed robbery! 97 00:05:36,023 --> 00:05:39,151 Your Honor. My client says he has an airtight alibi. 98 00:05:39,226 --> 00:05:41,421 Wait, this is the public defender? 99 00:05:41,495 --> 00:05:45,329 That's right. I'm not only the P.D., I'm also the D.A., a C.P.A., an E.M. T... 100 00:05:45,399 --> 00:05:49,392 an O.B. /G.Y.N., the M.V.P. Of the L.P.G.A., and I am Judge Reinhold. 101 00:05:49,470 --> 00:05:51,461 I have a very good makeup man, you know. 102 00:05:52,539 --> 00:05:54,473 Your Honor, at the time of the crime... 103 00:05:54,541 --> 00:05:57,101 - my client was nowhere near the scene. - Yeah, that's right. 104 00:05:57,177 --> 00:06:00,943 At least 50 people saw me. I was standin' in line to get my unemployment. 105 00:06:01,015 --> 00:06:02,949 Unemployment! 106 00:06:05,185 --> 00:06:07,847 You collectin' money for not even workin'? 107 00:06:07,922 --> 00:06:10,550 Ooh, that's a crime if I ever heard of one! 108 00:06:10,624 --> 00:06:13,593 You lazy radish Yankee tub, get out of my court! 109 00:06:13,661 --> 00:06:16,528 Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! 110 00:06:19,266 --> 00:06:21,257 Next! 111 00:06:25,406 --> 00:06:29,001 The State vs. Reginald McCort.! 112 00:06:29,076 --> 00:06:33,979 McCort? What kinda dumb name is that for a Rasta? 113 00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:36,107 [In An Irish Accent] Black Irish. 114 00:06:37,651 --> 00:06:40,620 And what have you gotta say for yourself, leprechaun? 115 00:06:40,688 --> 00:06:44,124 Well, Your Honor, I admit, Your Honesty, I'm a forger, an embezzler... 116 00:06:44,191 --> 00:06:47,456 a burglar, a pickpocket, a jaywalker, a shoplifter... 117 00:06:47,528 --> 00:06:49,496 a numbers-runner, a con man. 118 00:06:49,563 --> 00:06:52,589 I tear the labels off of mattresses, and I make illegal copies... 119 00:06:52,666 --> 00:06:55,794 ofJudge Reinhold movies. 120 00:06:57,037 --> 00:06:58,971 Court Stenographer, how many t'ing were that... 121 00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:01,940 - "Mr. Lucky Charm" say? - Ten t'ings! 122 00:07:02,009 --> 00:07:05,308 Ten t'ings? 123 00:07:05,379 --> 00:07:07,711 You one hard-working mon. 124 00:07:07,781 --> 00:07:10,045 I sentence you to ten year at hard labor. 125 00:07:10,117 --> 00:07:13,143 Thank you, Your Honesty. 126 00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:15,780 Did you hear what I said? I said, "hard labor"! 127 00:07:15,856 --> 00:07:17,619 [Together] Hey, mon! 128 00:07:17,691 --> 00:07:21,559 I sentence all the Headleys to ten years' hard labor. 129 00:07:21,628 --> 00:07:23,562 - [Sighs] - Hilda, you gonna make a license plate. 130 00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:26,861 Byron, you gonna do the laundry. Matilda, you gonna get in the metal shop. 131 00:07:26,934 --> 00:07:29,334 And l... I gonna work in the chain gang. 132 00:07:29,403 --> 00:07:33,533 - [Together] Hey! - Okay, we share the chain gang. 133 00:07:33,607 --> 00:07:36,804 [Together] Hey, mon! Then we go to jail! 134 00:07:36,877 --> 00:07:41,314 ♪♪ [Reggae] 135 00:07:42,649 --> 00:07:45,209 ♪♪ [Hip-Hop] 136 00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:19,747 [Announcer] Shahara Zah Ali. You've seen her on Donahue. 137 00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:22,983 And it's every black man's right to slap a black woman in the mouth. 138 00:08:23,057 --> 00:08:25,048 Mm-hmm. 139 00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:28,993 You've seen her on SallyJessy Raphael. 140 00:08:29,063 --> 00:08:32,089 A black woman should not complain about sharin' her black man. 141 00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:34,657 Don't deny it. You're denyin' it! See... 142 00:08:34,735 --> 00:08:37,169 And, you've seen her on Farm Report. 143 00:08:37,237 --> 00:08:40,001 Furthermore, if a black hog wants to keep his sty together... 144 00:08:40,074 --> 00:08:43,635 he should slap his black sow in the mouth when she needs it... don't deny it! 145 00:08:43,710 --> 00:08:45,678 She's Shahara Zah Ali, the author of... 146 00:08:48,982 --> 00:08:52,418 You've read her book. Now, get her new, how-to video. 147 00:08:52,486 --> 00:08:54,511 This easy to follow, step-by-step guide... 148 00:08:54,588 --> 00:08:58,046 will make you, once again, the king of your domain. 149 00:08:58,125 --> 00:09:01,060 Find out if you have what it takes with this simple quiz... 150 00:09:01,128 --> 00:09:04,291 from part one ofher video, "Lines of Communication." 151 00:09:05,566 --> 00:09:07,932 - Hey, babe. - Hi, baby! 152 00:09:08,001 --> 00:09:10,060 - Is it 6:00 already? - You know it. 153 00:09:10,137 --> 00:09:14,198 Oh, you know LittleJake went and blew up his Ninja Turtle in the microwave today. 154 00:09:14,274 --> 00:09:17,732 And then Aquanetta twisted and broke her ankle tryin' to do that Vogue dance... 155 00:09:17,811 --> 00:09:20,336 - so, I mean, I had to rush her to the hospital. - So I got no dinner? 156 00:09:21,682 --> 00:09:24,947 Mm-hmm. Now what would you do in this situation: 157 00:09:25,018 --> 00:09:27,543 A., take her out to a nice restaurant... 158 00:09:27,621 --> 00:09:29,816 B., have dinner at your girlfriend's... 159 00:09:29,890 --> 00:09:32,791 or C., give her an open-handed slap in the mouth? 160 00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:34,794 The answer, of course, is "C." 161 00:09:34,862 --> 00:09:37,160 A good slap in the mouth will train your black woman... 162 00:09:37,231 --> 00:09:40,928 not to put her trivial concerns over your needs. 163 00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:45,438 Situation number two. Your wife finds out you're havin'an affair. 164 00:09:45,506 --> 00:09:47,474 With my own sister? 165 00:09:47,541 --> 00:09:49,475 Look, l... 166 00:09:49,543 --> 00:09:53,502 What do you give your wife: A., a dozen long-stem roses... 167 00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:56,242 B., the necklace you were going to give your girlfriend... 168 00:09:56,316 --> 00:09:59,217 or C., an open-handed slap in the mouth? 169 00:09:59,286 --> 00:10:03,279 Now, if you said "C", you're well on your way to becoming king. 170 00:10:03,357 --> 00:10:05,917 Now here's a tough one. Your wife does somethin'nice. 171 00:10:05,993 --> 00:10:09,759 I say it's tough, 'cause a black woman ain't gonna never do nothin'nice for a black man. 172 00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:12,526 She's sneaky, and if she does something nice, it's a trick... watch her. 173 00:10:12,599 --> 00:10:16,228 Hey, baby! I got you two tickets to the Lakers game. 174 00:10:16,303 --> 00:10:18,965 Lemme see those... 175 00:10:19,039 --> 00:10:22,702 Do you, A., thank her and ask her if she'd like to join you... 176 00:10:22,776 --> 00:10:25,244 B., thank her and take your girlfriend... 177 00:10:25,312 --> 00:10:28,281 or C., give her an open-handed slap in the mouth? 178 00:10:28,348 --> 00:10:30,441 The answer is "B" and "C." 179 00:10:30,517 --> 00:10:32,576 Before you take your girlfriend, remember this: 180 00:10:32,653 --> 00:10:34,917 An unexpected slap never hurts. 181 00:10:34,988 --> 00:10:37,354 Now, if you answered any of these questions correctly... 182 00:10:37,424 --> 00:10:39,358 you're ready to move on to Part Two: 183 00:10:39,426 --> 00:10:41,394 "Puttin' the Man Back in Manhandling." 184 00:10:41,461 --> 00:10:44,157 Featurin' actual demonstrations by real experts... 185 00:10:44,231 --> 00:10:46,825 such as Mike Tyson and Ike Turner. 186 00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:50,996 Order my video: A Blackman's Rights Lefts & Uppercuts. 187 00:10:51,071 --> 00:10:53,596 Make your wife buy it today. If she hesitates... 188 00:10:53,674 --> 00:10:55,608 you know what to do. 189 00:10:55,676 --> 00:10:57,610 - [Clicks] - Hey, I was watchin' that. 190 00:10:57,678 --> 00:11:00,374 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah? Well, you're gonna be. 191 00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,740 Shahara Zah that! 192 00:11:08,687 --> 00:11:11,019 So is this place okay for you, or... 193 00:11:11,090 --> 00:11:13,081 Yeah, no. It's fine. I think it looks fine. 194 00:11:13,158 --> 00:11:15,854 I figured you'd like it, you know. Soul food and stuff. 195 00:11:15,928 --> 00:11:17,657 Hey, thanks Jake. [Chuckling] 196 00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:21,894 It's our way of sayin' welcome to the practice, man. Make you feel at home. 197 00:11:21,967 --> 00:11:26,370 - Uh, hello? - Oh, just a second. I'll be right with ya. 198 00:11:26,438 --> 00:11:28,372 How are my two babies doin' today? 199 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,806 - We're doin' good. How are you? - Ohh... 200 00:11:30,876 --> 00:11:34,209 My rheumatism actin' up. And my piles been painin' me. 201 00:11:34,279 --> 00:11:37,544 But I couldn't be better, now that my two good-lookin' gentlemen friends... 202 00:11:37,616 --> 00:11:40,312 have come in to have a good old, home-cooked meal from Mama. 203 00:11:40,386 --> 00:11:43,651 - Who said veal? Somebody want veal? Pick it up. - [Rings Bell] 204 00:11:46,392 --> 00:11:49,225 Oh, you the spittin' image of my godson Jarvis. 205 00:11:49,294 --> 00:11:53,458 - Frances, don't he look likeJarvis? - Mm-hmm. Look just likeJarvis. 206 00:11:53,532 --> 00:11:55,466 Mm-hmm. 207 00:11:55,534 --> 00:11:58,935 - You boys seems so fancy. What are ya? - [Chuckling] 208 00:11:59,004 --> 00:12:02,440 [Chuckling] Well, we're both orthodontists. 209 00:12:02,508 --> 00:12:05,966 Oh, baby, that ain't nothin' to be ashamed of. 210 00:12:06,045 --> 00:12:08,605 'Course, I'm a Baptist myself. 211 00:12:08,681 --> 00:12:10,876 But I hear y'all got a good service. 212 00:12:10,949 --> 00:12:13,144 Mm-hmm! Just likeJarvis. 213 00:12:13,218 --> 00:12:16,119 - I ain't say nothin' about noJarvis. - You just said Jarvis. 214 00:12:16,188 --> 00:12:18,349 I said that three days ago. Where you been? 215 00:12:18,424 --> 00:12:20,984 - Don't get my pressure up. - Who said they want fruit cup? 216 00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:23,392 Pick it up! 217 00:12:23,462 --> 00:12:26,863 [Phone Ringing] 218 00:12:26,932 --> 00:12:31,301 - [Rings] - Oh. Y'all gonna stand around like my name is Ma Bell. 219 00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:34,305 Hmm. Every time the phone rings, everybody goes deaf. 220 00:12:34,373 --> 00:12:37,137 - But me. Makes me sick. - [Ringing Continues] 221 00:12:37,209 --> 00:12:41,612 [Mumbling] Hello? Snackin' Shack. 222 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,808 They'll be a 45 minute wait. 223 00:12:44,883 --> 00:12:47,545 Johnny Carson? I don't care if you Johnny Appleseed. 224 00:12:47,619 --> 00:12:49,610 There's still a 45 minute wait. 225 00:12:50,989 --> 00:12:54,322 - Excuse me? - No need to excuse yourself. What you want? 226 00:12:54,393 --> 00:12:57,453 - I'd like to be seated. - I'd like to have these corns off my feet... 227 00:12:57,529 --> 00:12:59,724 but we can't always have what we want. 228 00:12:59,798 --> 00:13:03,165 - But the tables are empty. - They empty, but they reserved. 229 00:13:03,235 --> 00:13:05,430 - You got a reservation? - No, but... 230 00:13:05,504 --> 00:13:08,735 Then you just gonna have to wait till I sit yo' big butt down there, won't you? 231 00:13:12,244 --> 00:13:15,543 Uh, excuse me? Ma'am, could we get some water? 232 00:13:15,614 --> 00:13:17,878 Oh, sure, baby. 233 00:13:19,485 --> 00:13:22,886 Why don't you do the ordering? 234 00:13:22,955 --> 00:13:25,617 - Yeah, do the ordering. - Here you go, drink up. 235 00:13:25,691 --> 00:13:28,956 - Oh, thanks. - Do you have any Pellegrino? 236 00:13:29,027 --> 00:13:32,428 Oh, no, baby. That's just a little bit of psoriasis. 237 00:13:32,498 --> 00:13:35,331 But boy, it sure do make my skin flake. 238 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,460 - Who say they want steak? Pick it up! Steak! - [Rings Bell] 239 00:13:40,873 --> 00:13:43,171 So, what you two boys gonna have? 240 00:13:43,242 --> 00:13:47,042 - Oh, don't pay no mind to this. - Uh, well let me see. 241 00:13:47,112 --> 00:13:49,376 What about the, uh, meat loaf? 242 00:13:50,382 --> 00:13:52,577 - Meat loaf! - Meat loaf! 243 00:13:52,651 --> 00:13:54,676 - Ain't no mo' meat loaf. - Ain't no mo' meat loaf. 244 00:13:54,753 --> 00:13:57,017 - We ain't got no mo' meat loaf. - All right. 245 00:13:57,089 --> 00:13:59,751 Uh, then what about the fried chicken? 246 00:13:59,825 --> 00:14:01,793 - Fried chicken! - Fried chicken! 247 00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:05,660 - Ain't no mo' fried chicken. - No mo' fried chicken. 248 00:14:05,731 --> 00:14:08,256 - We ain't got no mo' fried chicken. - All right. All right. 249 00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:12,326 - Um, uh, then give me the ribs. - Ribs! 250 00:14:12,404 --> 00:14:14,338 - Ribs! - Ain't no mo' ribs. 251 00:14:14,406 --> 00:14:18,274 - What do you have? - We have chitlins. 252 00:14:18,343 --> 00:14:20,277 Oh, that sounds great. How is it prepared? 253 00:14:20,345 --> 00:14:22,813 Only but one way to prepare 'em. 254 00:14:22,881 --> 00:14:27,284 First, you cut 'em out the pig, then you squeeze out the dookey... 255 00:14:27,352 --> 00:14:30,981 then you turn 'em inside out and let 'em set in bleach for about two days. 256 00:14:31,056 --> 00:14:35,390 And just as the funk start risin' off the top, that's when you boil 'em. 257 00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:39,089 [Groaning] Oh, yeah. Well, uh, I think I'll have some soup. 258 00:14:39,164 --> 00:14:42,133 - Okay. Two soups. - Two soups. Pick it up! 259 00:14:42,201 --> 00:14:44,135 - [Rings] - Excuse me? 260 00:14:44,203 --> 00:14:49,505 Now I said that I'd be with you. Now don't you rush me. Mama gonna have to spank you. 261 00:14:49,575 --> 00:14:53,443 - I'll be with you when I finish. - Who wants spinach? Pick it up! 262 00:14:54,847 --> 00:14:58,180 Excuse me, ma'am? Excuse me? I think I'll need a spoon. 263 00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:00,946 - What you say, baby? - Uh, spoon? 264 00:15:01,019 --> 00:15:03,647 Oh, did Mama forget to give you the silverware? 265 00:15:03,722 --> 00:15:07,351 Oh, baby, I'm sorry. You want a big spoon or a little spoon? 266 00:15:07,426 --> 00:15:11,988 - Uh, soup spoon. - Oh, let Mama see what she got down here for you. 267 00:15:12,064 --> 00:15:15,431 Oh, here you go, baby. You want a napkin? 268 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,491 Uh, no-no, no, no, no! 269 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,465 - I'll, uh... - Use up his sleeves. 270 00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,908 [Laughing] 271 00:15:30,115 --> 00:15:32,777 - Hey, you know what? This is really good. - Oh, yeah? 272 00:15:32,851 --> 00:15:35,945 Excuse me? What's in this soup? 273 00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:38,012 Oh, let me see. 274 00:15:40,926 --> 00:15:45,556 Oh, feel like your earring, Frances. And your hairnet too. 275 00:15:45,631 --> 00:15:48,464 Oh, oh, lucky day! 276 00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:50,933 Oh! Oh, look. I'm sorry, man. 277 00:15:51,003 --> 00:15:54,370 - Who said they want Spam? Spam! Pick it up! - [Rings Bell] 278 00:15:54,439 --> 00:15:57,806 Uh, I just can't eat here. I hope you're not offended. 279 00:15:57,876 --> 00:16:00,310 Offended? No. Not really. 280 00:16:00,379 --> 00:16:02,677 I know this great place on the west side. Want to check it out? 281 00:16:02,748 --> 00:16:04,238 - Sounds great. - All right, let's go. 282 00:16:04,316 --> 00:16:08,480 - It's your night. - Where you goin', babies? 283 00:16:08,553 --> 00:16:11,215 They didn't even touch their food. 284 00:16:11,290 --> 00:16:13,986 Excuse me. Can I please get a seat now? 285 00:16:14,059 --> 00:16:17,756 Oh, baby, you can sit wherever you want. But the kitchen's closed. 286 00:16:17,829 --> 00:16:20,423 So if you want to eat, you're gonna have to take your chubby behind somewhere else. 287 00:16:21,867 --> 00:16:24,529 Somebody sayJarvis was out here? 288 00:16:31,777 --> 00:16:34,371 [Chattering] 289 00:16:37,716 --> 00:16:41,345 Benny! Hey, I just wanted to thank you for inviting me here. 290 00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:44,548 You know, nothing makes me happier than saving the dolphins. 291 00:16:44,623 --> 00:16:47,114 Except for workin' for you at Gemco, maybe, huh? 292 00:16:47,192 --> 00:16:49,183 I'm sure everyone here would agree. 293 00:16:53,265 --> 00:16:56,792 - Oh, no! What is he doin' here? - I'm sorry? 294 00:16:56,868 --> 00:17:00,964 Excuse me, sir. This party is by invitation only. 295 00:17:01,039 --> 00:17:04,668 Well, the name is Frenchy. And don't be so "Coupe de Ville." 296 00:17:04,743 --> 00:17:07,234 Of course I have an invitation. I'm here with Benny. 297 00:17:07,312 --> 00:17:10,475 Hey, Benny! High five! High five! 298 00:17:10,549 --> 00:17:14,212 High five! Better than me. You see? I'm with him. 299 00:17:14,286 --> 00:17:16,220 Now, you know I got to be, because I'm hip. 300 00:17:16,288 --> 00:17:19,917 I'm slick. And all the women love... my clothes. Gotcha! 301 00:17:19,992 --> 00:17:21,926 Hey, Benny! Mon soufflé, man! 302 00:17:21,994 --> 00:17:23,928 - What? - [Waiter, Indistinct] 303 00:17:23,996 --> 00:17:26,260 Oh, man! What you got here, Benny? Ain't nothin' but some frankfurters... 304 00:17:26,331 --> 00:17:28,265 wrapped in bread, man! 305 00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:31,496 I thought you told me it was a classy affair. I'm glad I brought these hot wings. 306 00:17:31,570 --> 00:17:34,232 - What are you... Oh, my... - Here, man. 307 00:17:36,041 --> 00:17:38,942 - How the hell did you find me? - Oh, "très simplé." 308 00:17:39,011 --> 00:17:41,377 When you accidentally threw my number in the trash can... 309 00:17:41,446 --> 00:17:43,880 I ran outside and took down your license plate number. 310 00:17:43,949 --> 00:17:47,009 Then I called the D.M.V. They give me your ex-wife's last name? 311 00:17:47,085 --> 00:17:50,077 I called her. I talked to her for five minutes, and you know what she say? 312 00:17:50,155 --> 00:17:53,886 Here the address, here the telephone number, just go on down there. 313 00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:55,927 She say me and you deserve each other, Benny. 314 00:17:55,994 --> 00:17:58,986 Oh, yeah. I owe her one. Can you excuse me a second? 315 00:17:59,064 --> 00:18:01,760 - I gotta get something over here. - All right. 316 00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:04,597 Well, bonjour, "mon derrière." 317 00:18:05,971 --> 00:18:08,201 It's a pleasure to make your "acquaint-ance." 318 00:18:08,273 --> 00:18:11,970 Uh, I'm a friend of Benny. My name is Leonard, but everybody calls me Frenchy. 319 00:18:12,044 --> 00:18:16,276 - Oh, why is that? - 'Cause I took French in 11 th grade. 320 00:18:16,348 --> 00:18:19,044 And I love to kiss that way. 321 00:18:19,117 --> 00:18:21,813 You certainly do! 322 00:18:21,887 --> 00:18:24,685 Hey, Bruce Lee! [Karate Screaming] 323 00:18:24,756 --> 00:18:28,692 - A friend of Benny's. - Man, I love your movies, man. 324 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,694 - Hi! [Giggling] - Yeah, hi! 325 00:18:30,762 --> 00:18:34,391 Say hello to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar for me. 326 00:18:34,466 --> 00:18:40,336 Look, um, Frenchy, do you know that this affair cost over $1,000 a head? 327 00:18:40,405 --> 00:18:42,270 - A thousand dollars a head? - Yes! 328 00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:44,205 Oh, man, you gettin' ripped off. I know these... 329 00:18:44,276 --> 00:18:46,301 No, no, no. That's not what I mean, all right? 330 00:18:46,378 --> 00:18:48,505 This is to raise funds for the dolphins. 331 00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:52,107 Oh, man! I don't tell you how to spend your money, Benny. 332 00:18:52,184 --> 00:18:54,778 - But it's the Rams that's in trouble! - Oh, you are a... 333 00:18:54,853 --> 00:18:58,619 Excuse me. That is a gorgeous gown. 334 00:18:58,690 --> 00:19:01,488 - Well, thank you, Benny. - Uh-huh. That look like the one my mama got... 335 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,051 on the Home Shopping Club. 336 00:19:04,129 --> 00:19:08,293 - Is that polyester? - No, actually, it's 100% raw silk. 337 00:19:08,366 --> 00:19:12,200 Oh, I'm sorry. Well, maybe one day you can save up and put some on layaway. 338 00:19:14,239 --> 00:19:18,005 Oh! Hey, Bruce Lee! [Karate Screams] 339 00:19:18,076 --> 00:19:21,341 What's goin' on, man? How you doin'? What's you drinkin', man? 340 00:19:22,714 --> 00:19:24,978 What they got there, champagne? Oh, man. 341 00:19:25,050 --> 00:19:27,109 B.Y.O.B.B. "Bring Your Own Brown Bag." 342 00:19:27,185 --> 00:19:29,119 That's right. I got the good stuff here. 343 00:19:29,187 --> 00:19:31,280 "Cold Duck." That's right. 344 00:19:31,356 --> 00:19:34,325 Give ya half the taste and twice the gas. 345 00:19:34,392 --> 00:19:37,088 - [Laughs] - You like that? But hey, I'm hip. 346 00:19:37,162 --> 00:19:39,858 I'm slick, and all the women want my phone number. 347 00:19:39,931 --> 00:19:42,559 [Laughs] Hey, Benny. Let's toast to Benny. 348 00:19:42,634 --> 00:19:45,467 - Benny! This is for you! - Cheers! 349 00:19:45,537 --> 00:19:48,370 Whoo! Hey, Benny man. 350 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,170 I don't want you to think... I don't want you to think I'm makin' friends over there... 351 00:19:51,243 --> 00:19:53,507 - and I done forgot about you... have a little swig. - [Clears Throat] 352 00:19:53,578 --> 00:19:57,378 - As I was saying, I received my B.A. From S.M.U., - Yes. 353 00:19:57,449 --> 00:20:02,978 - And my Ph.D. From M.I.T. - Uh-huh. Well, well! "Très impress me." 354 00:20:04,456 --> 00:20:08,415 I'll have you know that I bought my B.L.T. From Mickey D's. 355 00:20:08,493 --> 00:20:10,757 Get all my ground beef from A&P... 356 00:20:10,829 --> 00:20:13,957 - and once got V.D. In D.C. - Whoa! 357 00:20:14,032 --> 00:20:17,229 All right, all right, all right. 358 00:20:19,037 --> 00:20:22,165 I guess it's time for me to get this party started. 359 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,504 Hey, man! "Excusa moi." 360 00:20:24,576 --> 00:20:26,510 Monsieur Massengill. 361 00:20:26,578 --> 00:20:29,547 - Now, do you know any RickJames? - Oh, I don't know. 362 00:20:29,614 --> 00:20:32,310 Come on, man. Trust me. That's what this party needs, man! 363 00:20:32,384 --> 00:20:36,411 I used to be the tambourine player with Cephus and Reesie so I know music, man. 364 00:20:36,488 --> 00:20:38,786 Now, come on, let's count it off on four, "Superfreak," right? 365 00:20:38,857 --> 00:20:40,449 One, two, three, four! 366 00:20:40,525 --> 00:20:46,020 - ♪♪ [Funk] - ♪♪ [Singing] 367 00:20:46,097 --> 00:20:49,464 Oh, watch me now. 368 00:20:49,534 --> 00:20:52,367 You ain't never seen nobody funky penguin like this, huh? 369 00:20:52,437 --> 00:20:55,099 - Ah, shucks, now. Funky chicken. - ♪♪ [Continues] 370 00:20:55,173 --> 00:20:57,733 I can do all the birds, man. Hey, everybody. "Soul Train." 371 00:20:57,809 --> 00:21:00,744 Let's line it up, now. Come on, woman. 372 00:21:00,812 --> 00:21:04,077 That's right! I want all the men on this side... 373 00:21:04,149 --> 00:21:06,310 all the ladies on that side. 374 00:21:06,384 --> 00:21:10,753 All right... East Coast, West Coast... 375 00:21:10,822 --> 00:21:14,223 East Coast, West Coast... 376 00:21:14,292 --> 00:21:18,626 ♪♪ [Singing] 377 00:21:18,697 --> 00:21:20,631 - Excuse me. Excuse me. - What, man? 378 00:21:20,699 --> 00:21:23,463 You the owner of the red Pinto out there? Go move it! 379 00:21:23,535 --> 00:21:25,765 Hey, man. I ain't drivin' a Pinto. 380 00:21:25,837 --> 00:21:28,101 I'm drivin' a Gremlin. Excuse me! 381 00:21:29,774 --> 00:21:33,471 - ♪♪ [Chanting] - What are you... 382 00:21:33,545 --> 00:21:37,106 - ♪♪ [Continues] - You Jheri-Curl-juice-drippin' sharecropper! 383 00:21:37,182 --> 00:21:39,412 You're turnin' my party into a fiasco! 384 00:21:39,484 --> 00:21:42,715 Oh, you ain't gotta thank me, mon toupée.! 385 00:21:42,787 --> 00:21:45,915 It's what I do, man! 'Cause I'm hip, I'm slick... 386 00:21:45,991 --> 00:21:48,551 and all the women love my cologne! 387 00:21:48,627 --> 00:21:50,891 Come on! 388 00:21:52,464 --> 00:21:57,458 - ♪♪ [Chanting] - I don't know this man. I don't know him. 389 00:21:57,535 --> 00:22:00,003 [All Yelling Together] 390 00:22:08,546 --> 00:22:11,014 ♪♪ [Hip-Hop] 391 00:22:11,082 --> 00:22:14,848 [All Laughing] 392 00:22:14,919 --> 00:22:17,717 We outta here! See ya next week. 393 00:23:04,936 --> 00:23:08,372 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪♪ 34539

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.