Original subtitles

- Some call him Lucifer.

Some call him Satan.

I call him Master.

Creatures who live off human flesh do exist.

Creatures who drink blood and can become wolves are real.

Do you hear me?

I'm gonna tell you a secret.

I'm one of those creatures

and I eat little boys like you for dinner.

And on a full moon, I become a wolf.

Do you know what a werewolf is?

Do you know what a vampire is?

- Stop this! You're scaring the boy to death.

- It's okay. Kids like to be scared.

I'll slip in your house and drink your blood.

I'm a creature of the night.

- Sometimes you're a total asshole.

- And I'll come into your house and kill you

and the whole family.

I'm a vampire!

I'm a vampire! - Stop it.

- Don't kill me.

I'll be back tonight, hee hee!

Hey, Mildred.

I'm gonna lay down, take a nap.

Wake me up in time for lunch.

Little pussy.

- Oh my god! Oh no!

No, what have you done?

He was only joking.

What have you done? Oh no!

- Jim, are you all right?

- Yeah, yeah. I just fell asleep.

Hey, what time is it?

- Time to rehearse. Come on.

- Paul, what would I do without you?

- Be late a lot.

Oh, Sammy's girlfriend's coming to watch us rehearse.

It's tough being The Bad Boys.

An up-and-coming rock star's job is never done.

Let's go.

Oh, now Paul, fix that sound on the new song.

Hey, the next guy

that calls me that is dead meat, man.

- Gonna be ready for the concert?

Yeah.

* Started when I got my first guitar *

* At the age of 10

* I can hardly play but when I strum that thing *

* I got the right note now and then *

* All I could see was my name in lights *

* All I could do was dream

* Now I see what my mama said to me *

* Son, you know, it's hard to win *

* It's a nightmare, it's a nightmare *

* Soon I know it's got me

* Well, it's a nightmare, a scary nightmare *

* Gotta work real hard

* So I can show my stuff and blow them away *

* I used to move my parent's house around *

* So the band could rehearse

* Dad would split to his workshop *

* And mom would quench our thirst *

* On Saturday it was pack our gear *

* Head out for the gig

* Playing the National Guard Armory *

* It really wasn't that big

* Yeah, it's a nightmare

* Yeah, it's a nightmare

* Yeah, soon I know it's got me *

* It's a nightmare

* A hard rock nightmare

* Mom and Dad, I know you don't understand *

* But I've gotta go

* I've gotta make myself a man

* I can't get away, I gotta shine *

* I got a hard rock nightmare in my mind *

* It's a nightmare, a hard rock nightmare *

* It's a nightmare

* It's a nightmare

* It's a nightmare, yeah

Is there a problem, Officers?

I'm not dressed to go to jail.

That's it, the noise has gotta stop.

- Oh, come on, officer.

All we're doing is rehearsing our tunes.

- This is the third complaint this week.

One more time and you're busted.

- But, Officer, we're a band.

We need to rehearse.

- Not in this neighborhood, you don't.

- This is your last warning.

- Dude, like, what are we gonna do?

I mean, we're never gonna be ready for the concert.

- We're gonna have to find another place.

- Where? - I don't know.

How about your house?

What a fab idea.

But my mother would never go for it.

Dudes, We could rehearse in my van.

This is a serious, what are we gonna do?

- Guys, I have an idea.

All right, Paul, is everybody here?

- I think so.

Uh, I thought just the band was going, though.

- The band, Tim, and a couple of hot babes.

Don't worry about it.

- I'm not, Charlie.

I mean, I just want this to be a fabulous, groovy weekend.

- Paul, people don't say groovy anymore, man.

- Jim, do you know what you're doing?

- Uncle Gary, it's been over 10 years.

My friends and I need a place to relax and practice

where we can make as much noise as possible.

And Grandma would've loved the idea.

- I wonder what your grandmother would've thought

if she knew that you were turning the farm she left you

into a home for wayward rock stars.

- My favorite group's The Partridge Family.

- Shut up, Dirk. - Oh, sorry, Mr. Armstrong.

- Hey Sammy, man,

you sure you'll be able to find this place?

- Dude, don't even worry about it.

Connie and I are like gnarliest to read these maps.

- Great, listen, do me a favor,

and help me get some of this stuff in there.

- All right.

- So, who are you?

- I'm Tina. Sally's friend.

- Hi, I'm John.

- I'm coming up this week to help you guys out.

- Great.

You know, I play the drums.

- Yeah, I know.

- You know, if there's anything I could do for you...

- You know, there is. - Yeah?

- Could you tell me everything you know about Charlie?

- You feeling all right?

Any nightmares lately?

- I'm fine.

- Dirk, wait for me in the limo.

- The limo?

- The long black car we came in, remember?

- Yes. I'm sorry, the limo.

Right away, sir.

- I wanted to talk to you alone.

- Go ahead.

- Jim, you're my only living relative

and I kind of feel responsible for you.

- Yeah, I know. What's your point?

- Well, if for any reason, how do I say this?

If for any reason you don't feel well...

- I'm fine.

- Come on, Jim. We gotta go.

- Uncle Gary. I've gotta go.

Thanks for letting us use your motor home.

Yeah, really, thanks a lot.

It's really nice of you.

We'll see you in a couple days.

- Jim, are you sure you're up to this?

- That was a long time ago.

- If there are any problems,

there's Ranger Baxter, he'll take care of you.

- Yeah, don't worry. See ya.

Why does your uncle always worry so much?

- He means well. - I guess.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

All right, Sammy, you drive.

- Boom, we are at it.

* Need a little time

* It's all up in darkness

- So, we all wear mop top wigs

just like the Beatles used to.

- We don't have to wear wigs.

- Nah, band needs a gimmick.

- Why?

So we can get attention.

- Why don't we just try playing good music?

Am I the only one with imagination in this band?

- Of course not. You forget, my friend.

I'm the one who came up with the band's name?

The Bad Boys.

- Yeah, sounds like a gay porno movie.

Excuse me, guys.

But, who is the blonde with John?

- Huh, you should know.

Your girlfriend invited her.

- Sally did? - Yeah.

She's supposed to come along, I don't know,

help cook or something. - She cooks?

- If you ask me, she's just a groupie.

- Well, no one asked.

- Hey, if Sally invited her, she must be okay.

I think she's trying

to get your attention, Charlie.

I'm sitting here.

Okay. If you want me to, I'll sit over there.

- So, um, tell me about the drums.

Sure, what do you want to know?

How big is your drum stick?

- Uh, did anyone ever tell you

that you have, uh, fabulous eyes?

- You're the first.

Oh, well.

Your glasses have no glass in them.

- I, I, I wear those for effect.

I'm basically making a fashion statement.

- I love- - Well thank you, um,

I was gonna say...

Uh, Paul Shaffer's my idol, if you would...

If you could listen...

- So, do you really think I'm pretty enough

to be an actress? - Yeah, I do.

You know, I'm more than, uh,

just a band sound mixer, you know.

- She's a groupie. - I know.

- And she's trying to get you interested in her

by flirting with us. - I know.

- So, what are you gonna do about the tease?

- Nothing. I'm not gonna pay any attention to her.

- Why?

- I'm gonna make her beg for it.

- Wow. You are so hip.

- But, for now, I'm gonna get some sleep.

- What am I gonna do with you?

Tina, control yourself.

- Sorry, he's just so cute.

- You promised to behave if I invited you on the trip.

- I know, I know.

You're right.

- Throwing yourself at Charlie won't work.

Enough said?

- Yeah.

- Where is everybody?

Hello?

Grandpa!

Don't kill me! Please don't.

Sorry.

Jim!

Jimmy, are you okay? You okay?

- You were all dead.

You're all undead.

You're all trying to kill me.

Calm down, it's over now, honey.

- Oh, it seemed so real.

Go back to sleep.

We're almost there.

Back to sleep.

- Hey, you guys.

I have to tell you all something,

but I wanted to wait until Jim was asleep.

- What is it?

- This house has some bad memories for Jim.

So, if we could all be extra careful

about Jim's feelings when we get to the house?

- Place isn't haunted, is it?

- No, of course not.

Over 15 years ago, someone was murdered there.

- Stop. You're scaring me.

- I'm not trying to,

but let's make the next few days as fun as possible

so Jim won't have any bad memories, okay?

- Sure. - Yeah, no problem.

- And, oh yeah, I never told you any of this. Okay?

Any of what?

Hey, good morning.

Everybody have a good night sleep?

I got the bathroom first.

Who cut the cheese?

Did anyone bring toothpaste?

Did anyone bring deodorant?

Somebody wake up Paul.

I think I'm constipated.

Where the hell are we?

Hey, we're here.

- Where's the house? - How should I know?

Maybe the house is invisible

like Wonder Woman's airplane.

- This is as far as the motor home can go.

We've gotta hike the rest.

- Okay, everybody grab something.

Let's get to the house.

- Come on, everybody. Let's move.

I'll lead the way.

- Does this place, like, have a television set?

- Sure, babe.

Come on, keep moving.

Slow up.

How far is this place?

- Like how? - Stop complaining.

- Paul?

Did anybody wake up Paul?

- Guys?

Where is everybody?

Hey, guys?

Can somebody help me?

- Tim, help Tina.

Why doesn't Jim slow up?

Are we almost there yet?

My feet hurt.

Come on, keep up.

- We're coming. - When do we eat?

Just a little bit farther.

- Hey, guys? Guys?

- Come on, come on. Let's go!

- It's getting dark. - When are we gonna get there?

- Oh, look, a bird. - Great.

Hey, get down. - Chill, okay?

- Ranger Baxter.

Yeah. This is Gary Armstrong.

Yeah, the Armstrong house.

Fine, thanks.

Listen, you can do me a big favor.

My nephew, Jimmy, is gonna be spending the weekend

up at the house.

Yes, it's the first time since that terrible accident.

Well, just between you and me,

I'm a little worried about him.

He's been acting strange lately.

I was wondering if you could look in on them this weekend?

Oh no, I didn't know.

Well, you have a nice time at your sister's wedding.

I mean, what could happen to them anyway?

They'll be back on Monday.

I'm just being overly protective, I guess.

You have a nice time. Thank you.

They're up there, all alone.

- It's the house.

- I thought I'd never catch up with you guys.

Wow. This structure is fab.

- God, it's just the way I remember it.

The way I dreamed about it.

- Jim, your grandmother must have been

a great lady to leave you this.

Jim? Jim, are you okay?

- You okay, buddy?

- Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm great.

- Gonna be okay? - Yeah, hey,

let's go show everybody their rooms.

Guess I'm the host for the next four days.

- Okay, everybody, band rehearsal in the next two hours.

- The house is clean and the power's on.

- Yeah, let's go.

- I'm hungry, Sammy. - Let's check out the fridge.

- Look, a well.

Love Perrier.

- Tim, do you really think I have

the makings of a great actress?

- Tina, I think that with the right person behind you,

you could become the next Meryl Streep.

- Who's she?

- Vanna White? - Oh yeah, really?

- Hey, I know a lot about the entertainment business.

- Well, can I ask you a question?

- Yeah, sure.

- How well do you know Charlie?

* Lurking in the shadows, dimness of night *

* Plotting evil strategies

* Making wrong out of right

* Deceiving hunks of metal

* With the sound of lion's roar *

* And trusting in our and waging a war *

* It's not secret, you're gonna reap it *

* The seed's been planted

* And in time it's gonna tell on you *

* It's gonna tell on you

* The seed's been planted

* It's gonna tell on you, oh, oh *

* Living off the land in the air of the night *

* Nothing's held too sacred from its evil bite *

* Cuts in too deep where the life waters flow *

* And it tries to hold you back *

* And never wants to let you go *

* You try to hide it, you can't deny it *

* The seed's been planted

* And in time, it's gonna tell on you *

* It's gonna tell on you

* The seed's been planted

* It's gonna tell on you, yeah

* Time is gonna tell on you, oh *

* It's gonna tell on you

* It's gonna tell on you

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Penny for your thoughts.

You know, when Sally asked me to

come up this week for a few days, I almost died.

- Really? - I've seen the band play

at every concert and, uh, I think you're the best.

- What do you want from me?

Really. What do you want from me?

- Nothing.

I just wanna get to know you, to be your friend.

So, long ride up here.

- Real long.

- Well, um, Sally, she's a great girl.

- Yeah.

- I remember reading about the murder up here.

Did you ever meet Jim's grandfather?

- Excuse me.

- Wait, don't go.

I mean, I know I must sound like some crazy groupie.

- You got that right.

- Penny for your thoughts?

So, if and when your songs

are being played on the radio? - Yes, my dear.

- And, uh, you and the band perform on that

national television show? - Yes, my dear.

- And you all become big stars and sex symbols

like David Lee Roth and Mick Jagger?

- Yes, my dear. - You gonna forget about me?

- Yes, my dear. - What?

- Sally. I'll never leave you.

- Really? - Yeah, here.

This is for you.

I really worked hard on this.

I hope you like it.

* When we talk late at night

* Feel so close to you

* There's no misunderstanding

* Nothing clouds our view

* There's no need for questions *

* Because I know that your heart is right *

* And people tell me we're destined *

* I don't know what's wrong or right *

* Tell me, girl, whoa

* I'm still gonna want you

* Oh, I really need you to

* Oh, I think I want to

* 'Cause your love has got me through *

* They say our love

- Hello. Hello?

Who is this?

I don't understand. Grandpa?

A full moon?

No, don't kill me. Don't kill me.

- Jim, are you okay? What's going on?

That was my grandpa.

- What are you saying? Your grandpa's dead.

- Yeah, I know.

- Jim, look. Being here's affecting you.

That was probably some kind of sick joke or something.

Listen to me, you're okay. - No, no.

Yeah, I'm okay.

Really? I'm fine.

I'm just gonna go, uh, go take a walk now.

- Okay, let me come with you.

- No, it'll be okay.

I just need to clear my head, get some air, you know?

- All right. But promise me you're okay.

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- So, tell me about Charlie.

- Could you forget about Charlie, please?

- But you promised.

- I will tell you about Charlie later, okay?

Oh, I'm so horny.

Drink some of that.

- Whew! That makes me feel so warm and cozy.

- This will make you feel even more cozy.

- No.

- Look, all right, if you don't want to go all the way,

you'll at least get me off, please.

- That's disgusting.

- It's not disgusting, all right?

Look, just kiss it, okay?

All the girls in California do.

- No, I said!

- Please, honey. - No.

- All right, then.

If you don't want to kiss it, how about this?

That's very good.

- It is big. - I know.

Oh, okay now, just start slow.

Okay. Oh, that's great.

Oh, that's great. That feels good.

Oh yes, very good.

All right. Now little faster now.

Faster, now faster.

Oh my god! Oh, faster, faster.

God, that feels good, Debbie, please don't stop.

- What? - I just-

- My name is Tina.

- What are you doing? Don't stop!

- You don't even know my name.

- I know your name, it's, it's...

I remember your name. It's Terry.

- My name is Tina. - Tina.

I can't believe you're gonna leave me like this.

Come on, at least finish where you started.

- Drop dead. - Damn it, come back here.

Damn it, I'm gonna burst.

Tina!

All I wanted was a little head.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah. I just thought I hurt Tim scream.

- Yeah, me too. Let's find him.ú

Tim!

Tim, are you okay?

Oh my god!

- Grandpa. What have you done?

Come on, come on.

What's going on?

- Something's wrong. - Let's go, let's go.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

- Oh! - Oh my god, he's dead.

- Who's dead? - I don't know,

his head's missing.

- What happened? - Dude, this is sick.

- Jim, what happened?

I, I don't know.

Tina, you tell them.

- We were messing around and I got mad and left.

I don't know he was drinking.

He must have fell into the blade.

- Paul, take Tina and the girls back to the house.

Sammy, call the police or the ranger, whoever,

whoever you call to report an accident.

- Accident? Wait, this is no accident.

Tim was murdered.

- What?

- A wolf did it.

- A wolf? Are you nuts?

- That is not funny, dude.

- A what? - What did he say?

- Come on, Jim. Let's go back to the house.

- No. Listen to me.

I know it sounds nuts

and you think I'm a jerk for saying this.

It's very hard to understand this,

but I know all about this stuff.

My grandfather was a, he was a very evil man

and he killed Tim. - Jim, calm down.

- No. Can you listen to me?

We're all in danger. We're all in danger!

- I think Jim is losing it.

- Listen. Every full moon-

- Jim, stop it. Stop it.

Buddy, it's me, Charlie.

I mean, you're with your friends, okay?

- Charlie, you gotta believe me.

- I do believe you. I do.

Sally, take Jim back to the house.

Get him a drink, I'll be there in a moment.

- Charlie, I can explain everything.

You know about what happened here.

It was true. - I know, I know.

Somebody get some sheets.

Look around for his head.

- It's not your fault.

It was an accident. - I know.

I just wish I wouldn't have let him drink so much.

- Tina, is there anything I can get you?

- A drink would be okay.

- Sure.

- It's not working.

- Well, it was working before.

Try jiggling it.

- Just because I used to be a mud wrestler,

doesn't mean I'm stupid.

- I know that, Connie.

I know you're not stupid.

You're just hard-headed.

- And what does that mean?

- Nothing.

Just give me the fucking phone.

I will get it to work.

- For all I care, you can sleep with the fucking phone,

'cause you're not with me.

- It's your loss?

They're all alike. - Any luck, Sam?

I don't know, maybe if I get her drunk enough.

- Not with her, with the phone.

- Oh no. It's broken. - Shit.

- You see?

- Jim, are you still freaking out?

- No, I'm okay.

I just know what's happening.

- Stop, Jim. Don't say any more.

- No, I have to.

Hey, is everybody okay?

Yeah, right.

- No. Everyone is not okay.

- Jim, don't. - This is not the time.

- Wait, just hear me out.

- Hey, tomorrow. Okay, dude?

- Tomorrow it'll be too late!

- Hey, you guys, listen to him.

You guys, just hear what Jim has to say.

- Thank you, Charlie.

- On one condition.

Man, you're exhausted.

After we hear you out, you and Sally go to bed.

- Fine, I'll state my peace and let you decide.

At least I feel better knowing I warned you.

What time is it?

- About 12 o'clock.

- Okay, for the next six or seven hours,

we should all stay inside. - But why?

- Because Tim's death wasn't an accident.

A wolf did it. A werewolf.

- Sure. - Don't start that again.

Come on, gang. Just hear him out.

- Tonight is a full moon.

I went out to the barn before Tim was killed

and in the bushes I saw it. - What did you see?

- It was a big wolf, but it stood on two legs.

I was about 100 feet from it when it spotted me and ran.

- Wait a minute, man.

How could you see anything at night,

100 feet away in the dark?

And why'd it run away from you?

- I know it sounds crazy, but the creature is real.

It killed Tim.

I knew he was gonna die and I know we're all in danger.

- How do you know that?

- A little while ago, I got a phone call.

Didn't I, Sally?

And it was my grandfather.

He is the creature.

- He can't be serious. - Your grandfather's dead.

- Yes, but it's very hard to kill a vampire.

- Yeah. - Come on.

Stop it.

- Why don't you believe me?

Charlie, you tell them.

Maybe I am losing my mind.

- No, you're not.

Buddy, I will handle everything, I will.

Paul, Sally, will you take him to his room?

- Charlie, you're my best friend.

You gotta believe me.

Prove me wrong.

Get help before it strikes again.

- He needs to get help. - Are we gonna do about this?

- Wow. Jim's, like, having a nervous breakdown.

- Yeah, like, nobody believes in

vampires and werewolves anymore.

- No, I mean, like, if he'd said

a guy in a hockey mask killed Tim, I'd have been scared.

Yeah.

- He was a little boy.

He really thought his grandfather was possessed.

The courts understood that Jim

really didn't kill his grandfather.

They ruled it temporary insanity.

- Jim's been receiving psychiatric help

for the last 12 years.

I guess, coming back to his grandfather's house

triggered it again.

- So, I hope, as his friends

that we can keep his secret.

When we get back to the house,

I'm gonna get Jim some help.

- Well, dude, when is that?

I mean, are we gonna stay here for the whole weekend

even though Tim got killed?

- Yeah, when are the police gonna get here?

I, I don't know.

Paul, what did the police say?

- Uh, the phone's not working.

- Oh, okay. There, there's a CB in the motor home.

- Yeah.

- Well, we'll just use it

and there's a ranger station five miles away.

- I'm off to the ranger station.

- No, Tina, wait, you don't look too good.

You stay here and rest.

Connie and I will go.

- Look, if Tim's getting killed wasn't an accident,

then the only one left out there with us was Jim.

What are you saying?

- Well, nothing, just that I don't think

I wanna be left here alone with Jim, okay?

- Tina. - Well, for Christ's sake,

the guy's running around yelling werewolf.

- Jim's our friend. - And he did kill his grand-

- Tina! - Just chill, you guys, okay?

She is such a bitch.

- Look, Connie and I will head back

to the motor home and get help.

We'll be back in no time.

So, chill out, you guys, okay?

- Okay, fine.

Are you sure you guys can do this all right?

- Sure, dude, no problem.

- Great.

- Where's my jacket? - Over here.

- What about the ranger station?

- Could you get my bag?

- I'll go. - Me too.

- Paul, no way.

John, man, it's a long hike. I'll go.

- Don't worry, John and I will be fine.

Besides, you should stay here with Jim and Sally.

- Let's not let our imaginations get the best of us.

Are you sure? - No problem, man.

- Be careful.

I love technical stuff.

- Charlie, you stay here and, you know,

protect the girls, huh?

- Jim's here too. You sure you don't want me to go?

- Uh, Charlie, let's be real. - Fine.

But when you get to the ranger station, call.

- Keep your walkie talkie on, right?

- Charlie, can I talk to you for a minute?

- Excuse me.

- Nothing to worry about,

but keep an eye on Jim, okay?

- Oh man, not you too.

- Hey, he's my best friend too.

But who knows what's going on with his mind?

- I understand.

Now listen. Be careful out there.

Don't fall in any holes or anything.

Seriously. And the band needs you.

And you're my bro.

- Hey, don't get mushy on me.

What's this for?

- In case you run into any wildlife.

- Come on, we're off. - All right.

Catch you in about an hour. - Okay.

- Listen for us. - Don't worry, we will.

- Be careful, guys.

Be very careful.

- Are you sure you know where we're going?

- I wish you would stop complaining.

Connie, you don't really think Jim is crazy, do you?

- Yeah, Jim isn't nuts.

Like, if he says his grandfather's a werewolf,

I believe him.

- You mean like the one in the movies?

- Maybe Jim is nuts.

- You know, my uncle told me

that he saw a flying saucer once.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Did he report it to the government?

- Uh, yeah, but they didn't believe him.

- Why not?

- Well, he was sort of on acid at the time.

- Man, I am totally against doing drugs.

- Oh, me too.

Um, wait a minute. Is pot a drug?

- No, no. It's an herb. - Oh, okay.

Hey, let's take a break.

After we find the house, I wanna do some serious boning.

- I brought just what we need.

- Oh, all right.

Gnarly.

Wow.

Mm, let me have a feel. - Not yet.

Give me the joint and get naked.

- Oh, you don't have to tell me twice.

Okay, I'm ready.

- So am I.

- God, this is so much better than the back of my van.

- Mm. Boinking by moonlight.

- You must think I'm a real bitch.

- No, you're just upset about Tim and everything.

- No, no, forget Tim. He's dead.

- Maybe you are a bitch.

- Oh no. I'm just scared and lonely.

- You don't look too scared.

- My room's at the top of the stairs.

- I'll remember that.

- Charlie, Jim's not in his room.

Wow, this is so meaningful, Connie.

- Okay. Okay.

Like, if I'm Mary Anne, who's Gilligan and the skipper?

- Well, uh, wait, wait a minute.

I mean, we're not even on a desert island.

So, there goes your theory, right?

- Okay. Okay.

So, if we're not the castaways on "Gilligan's Island,"

maybe we're like the Robinsons on "Lost in Space."

I'm so stoned. I mean, we...

We shouldn't have smoked so much.

- It's okay, we're not driving.

Oh yeah. I guess you're right.

Look, look at that, over there.

I can hardly see, I'm so baked.

Oh, look. Look at the big dog.

- Oh yeah, I see it.

Oh, I must be lost, like us.

- He's so cute. Here doggie, doggie, doggie.

Dude, that dog is, like, growling at us.

- Oh, he's probably hungry.

- Oh yeah. - Where's the candy bar?

I'm gonna feed it. - Here it is.

Hey, but, be careful, Connie.

Don't get fleas.

Hey, be quiet!

- Uh. What the...

Ah!

Oh, this tastes gnarly. Ah!

Oh, wait a minute, you're not...

- And to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?

I thought Jim might be in here.

- Why don't you come in?

- What's this?

- It's a letter I'm writing to my cousin.

- You're not writing about Jim's mental problems, are you?

- No, I'm not writing about Jim

thinking that his grandfather's a werewolf.

- The Bad Boys are one of the

most original hard rock bands to come along in years,

but the real power behind the new band,

The Bad Boys, is Charlie Thomas.

Charlie Thomas on stage is hotter than Jagger

and sexier than David Lee Roth.

But the rest of the band is average.

- My cousin publishes a rock magazine.

- Really? But the rest of these guys are my friends.

- Charlie, can we speak honestly?

- Go ahead.

- Well, about six months ago,

Sally invited me to come and see the band play

and well, the band is good, but you are better.

I mean, you should be the star.

I have friends in the music business

and I could...

I would do anything for you, Charlie Thomas.

- And what do you want in return?

Nothing.

- So, you're trying to get

your cousin to do a story on me?

- I wanna help you, Charlie.

- Do you?

- I have money, connections to everything.

Let me help you, Charlie.

- Let's speak honestly.

What do you want from me?

- Nothing.

- You're a liar.

I knew what you want from me.

I knew what you wanted from me

from the very first time you saw me.

- Don't make me beg.

- Ah, what the hell.

It would be rude if I said no.

* And the writing's on the wall *

- Jim, where have you been?

- Sally, there is something out there.

I'm not crazy.

- I know.

- Sam, Connie, Paul and John are all in danger.

- I love you so much, Jim.

- If you love me, you've gotta believe me.

- I do, I do.

- A wolf is out there. - I know.

That was great.

That was really great.

- That was great?

What do you mean?

That's it? We're finished?

It's over? God, it was so quick.

- You wanted to get fucked and I did it.

Let's talk about my career.

- Well, that sucked.

I mean, that has got to be one of the worst...

No, no, no, the worst sex I have ever had.

You're awful.

- I, I did my best.

- That was your best?

Thank god I got you at your best.

God, what a disappointment.

And I've been dreaming about this night for months.

- I've never had any complaints before when I've had sex.

It was over so quick,

probably nobody had time to complain.

- Hey, stop laughing.

No, really. Stop laughing.

You know, you're probably frigid or something.

- Such a good looking guy.

What a waste.

Did you ever think about getting a penis transplant?

- You're such a tramp.

You probably have no feelings

left between your legs anyways.

You're probably a lesbian.

- You know, if all men were as bad in bed as you,

I just might be.

- You got a real problem, lady.

- Get out of my room

and forget about my cousin doing a story on you.

You're not worth it.

- You're a real bitch.

See you later, pee-wee.

- Jim, it's time for breakfast.

- What's going on?

How come you guys are wearing ladies' underwear?

- It's the band's new image.

- Jim, we're not The Bad Boys anymore.

We're the Hot Chicks. It's Paul's idea.

- Cut it out, cut it out.

But, don't you think it's fabulous. Hm?

Huh? - Breakfast!

- Thank god we made it through the night.

I thought we were all gonna be killed.

Oh my god. What are you girls doing?

- Jim, don't be such a dead head.

If the guys can wear our underwear,

then we can wear theirs.

- Don't be so square. Jim.

Sally, I don't believe you.

You're wearing my Fruit of the Loom.

- No shit, Sherlock.

Sally, are you feeling okay?

- Great, never been better.

- Connie, you have such, such nice breasts.

- Why, thank you, Charlie.

- Best breasts on the island.

- If you weren't sleeping with Sammy,

I might bone you. - Oh!

Would you bone us too, sometime?

- I don't know.

- Hey, what's going on here?

Is this some kind of a sick joke?

I don't understand.

It's all a joke.

- Tina, where's Tim?

- Oh, that's sick.

- Here!

- Hi, Jim!

- All right, this is sick.

No, a dream.

- Another nightmare?

- How long have I been asleep?

- About an hour.

- It's not over.

That thing is still out there.

- Jim, don't go out there.

- The creature is real. - Jim?

- If Superman and Mighty Mouse got into a fight,

who do you think would win?

- Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

- Wrong, that's not the way you play the game.

I say a line from a movie

and then you say a line from a movie,

but it's gotta be the same movie.

See, you can't mix up "Doctor Zhivago" and "Stand by Me"

or "Gone With the Wind," and "Friday the 13th."

- That's what this trip reminds me of, bud,

"Friday the 13th."

- I wish I'd written the music to that film.

- What? You call that music?

Kill, kill, kill. Kill, kill, kill.

- Hey, don't laugh.

The guy who wrote that's making a million bucks today.

Looks empty.

- Right.

- Might be abandoned.

Why don't you go in there

and see if there's a working phone?

- Why don't you go?

- What? Are you scared? - No, let's just be safe.

- Okay, chicken shit. I'll check the station.

- There's supposed to be a lake down there.

I'm gonna go try to find it. - Why?

- Maybe there's some cabins there

and we can get some help. - Oh, right.

You're pretty smart, bud. - I agree.

I'll meet you down there in 10.

- All right. Later.

What a dump.

Anyone here?

All right. Flashlight.

Hello?

Hello?

Damn it, it's dead.

This place's a mess.

Kirk to Enterprise. Kirk to Enterprise.

- Spock here, Captain.

- Yeah, man, beam me up.

Oh yeah, great. I can't find the ranger.

- John, where is Paul?

- Oh, you went to the lake to...

Who is it?

- What's wrong?

- Nothing, man. I thought I saw something move by the door.

It was nothing, though.

Hey, what the fuck? Paul?

Hey, man, something's in here. I can hear it.

- John, get out of there.

Get back to the house now!

- No, no, it's okay man.

I thought...

I must be imagining things in my old age.

You won't believe what I thought I just saw.

Oh, shit!

Get away from me, get away from me!

Help me, oh god!

- John? John? - Help me, help me!

- It can't be!

There's no such things as vampires and werewolves!

* It's a hard rock nightmare, ow *

Oh shit.

* Run like a maniac, fly like a maniac *

* Die like a maniac

* Walk like a maniac, talk like a maniac *

* Look like a maniac

* Run like a maniac, fly like a maniac *

* Die like a maniac

* 'Cause I still wanna rock, singing with my guitar *

* Look alive for the time, looking like a cheater *

* Whoa, I'm gonna for a flame, smoking like a heater *

- We gotta do something.

- Oh god, Paul is all alone out there.

I'm coming. Paul.

- Great. This is just great.

- So, Sam and Connie are probably

calling for help right now.

Sally, he's got a gun.

- I knew it was still down there.

- Where did you find that?

- My grandpa used to collect old rifles.

- Jim, what are you doing?

- I had to see if it still works.

Now, all I need is silver.

- Silver?

- Silver bullets.

It's the only thing that'll kill a werewolf.

- Oh, of course.

- Do your girls have any silver?

- Look, Sally, take the gun from Jim.

A mental case shouldn't be holding a rifle.

- You still think I'm crazy? - No, of course not.

- Don't you realize, everything I've said is true?

Look, we've gotta defend ourselves and kill the beast.

- Jim, calm down, will you?

No, listen to me!

- Jim might get violent. - No.

- Remember, he killed his grandfather.

- Are you talking about me?

Look, all I need is silver and I could kill him.

- In my room I have a silver frame.

Would that help? - Yeah, thanks.

And Sally, get some tools.

We've gotta make some silver bullets.

- Okay, come on. Let's get out of here.

- What are you talking about?

- This guy, Jim, he's a mental case

and now he's running around with a rifle.

- He's okay. He's just...

The strain is too much on him.

- Look, Sally. We're getting out of here, okay?

I just don't trust him.

- Paul!

Paul!

Paul?

Paul?

Paul!

Oh my god.

- Charlie, go back to the house.

Go out the woods.

Jim's right.

- What? A wolf did this to you?

- Man. - What?

- Wolf man. - Okay, don't talk.

I'm gonna take you back to the house.

You'll be fine.

- I...

Tell...

Sorry.

- Oh. No, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man.

Why? Why?

- There's no silver in your room, you lied.

Why? - Calm down, Jim,

and put down the gun.

- Don't you understand?

- I have had enough of this.

I'm getting out of this nightmare.

Jim, Sally, are you coming?

- Not until I find some silver bullets.

- Sally? - No, you go.

I love him and I have to stay. He needs me.

- Sally, I have an idea.

A place we're gonna be safe.

- Go, but be careful.

- Don't worry, there's not a man or wolf

that can outsmart me.

- Need to get help.

Need to get help.

Oh my god.

Get back.

You son of a bitch.

Yeah, nice and steady.

Almost finished.

A few more won't hurt.

Careful.

- Don't you worry.

A silver bullet. It's done.

- Thank god.

- Now we can go help our friends.

- Sure.

- Oh wait! - What?

No, do we need crosses and stakes?

No.

Look, Sal, I know you think I'm flipping out.

I'm only trying to protect us.

I really did see some kind of creature

before Tim was killed.

- Oh shit. I'm freezing my ass off.

But I'm here til sunrise.

I can't believe I'm hiding in a well from a werewolf.

Things like this just don't happen to other girls.

- Don't worry, Sally.

Everything's gonna be okay now.

- I know, but could we rest for a second?

- Sure. - I'm tired.

- You want a drink of water? - Thanks.

Ow!

What? Hey, who's down there?

- It's me, Tina.

What are you doing down there?

I'm hiding from a werewolf.

- I think you'd better come up.

- No, I'm here till sunrise.

Now, get the hell out of here. Leave me alone.

- Let's go. Come on.

God. Just one more hour til sunrise.

Who's up there?

Oh, oh my god, it's gas.

Why would a wolf do this?

How could a wolf light a match?

Charlie?

Are you okay?

- Hey, catch your breath, buddy.

- What's that in your hand?

- What the hell?

- They're all dead. - Who?

- Everybody's dead. - What?

- Jim was right! - Calm down.

- Everybody's dead, don't you understand?

This big freaking wolf!

- Man. It's a man.

There's no such thing as werewolves.

Jim, what are you saying?

- Some animal is killing people, but it's not a wolf.

- What animal, then? - A man.

- Paul's dead. Everybody's dead.

I fought with it, it's a big wolf.

- No it's not.

It's a man who wants us to think he's a wolf.

- What the hell are you saying?

Have you lost your mind?

- No, I almost did.

But I'm all right now.

Look, that isn't fur.

It's cloth material made to look like fur.

- Hm. Made in Hong Kong.

Yeah, he's right.

- Shit.

You mean, some lunatic in a wolf suit is killing people?

Why?

- I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.

- Wait, wait.

- No, this is between me and him.

- No it isn't.

Man, some mental case is walking around killing people

and if we don't stick together, we're next.

- Yeah, you're right.

We gotta keep our heads.

You know, I've got a plan.

- Come on.

- Hello, Ranger? Anybody?

Charlie fell in a ditch.

I think he's hurt!

I need help.

If you're in there, please come out!

Ranger? Anybody?

- Come on.

Come on. Come out, werewolf, wherever you are.

Get back!

Get back to the... move back!

No! No!

- Get back. - No, please! No!

No!

No, please!

- Over here! Over here!

Go ahead. Make my day.

Shit!

Look at the face.

It's made of rubber.

Jim, it's Dirk.

But why would Dirk do this?

Look at his hands. Claws.

Careful now.

God, they're solid steel, sharp as razors.

Probably tear a person apart in seconds.

Are you sure he's dead?

- Yeah. - Look at his eyes.

- Contacts.

Why would a mad man do such a thing?

- Mad man?

All right, that's it. Everybody up.

Put the gun down.

- Uncle Gary? - Yeah, he's your mad man.

- On the contrary.

My plan is the work of genius.

- Why?

- Money, you simple twit.

Why does anyone do anything?

This farm your grandmother left you, is nothing.

It's the oil underneath, that's everything. Millions!

- Shit, Jim, you're rich.

- Why the wolf?

Why'd you have Dirk dress up like a wolf?

- You nitwit. You are so stupid.

I can't believe you're my nephew.

Alright, look, the police come

and they find the band and everybody on the farm dead,

all cut up in little pieces.

And you tell them...

You tell them that a werewolf did it!

You tell them that you even saw the wolf!

Well, the police do some investigating

and they find out that when you were a kid

that you killed your grandfather.

You claimed he was a, a vampire!

That he called you from the grave!

Well, you go to the nuthouse

and I get the farm pure and simple.

Genius, isn't it?

- You had all these people killed

for your sick plan?

- For that much money, I'd kill everything.

- Yeah. We found out your plan.

It's not gonna work now.

- Well, I'll think of something else,

but don't worry, you're all gonna have to die anyway.

You too, Jim.

I'm gonna have to shoot you too, now. Sorry.

- Uncle Gary, you can't do this.

- Well, maybe somebody will

accidentally fall asleep smoking a cigarette

and burn down the house.

- No, please don't kill me.

I'm scared. I, I don't know what to do.

Kill them. I won't tell anyone, I promise.

- Sorry, kid. Gotta kill everybody.

It's the plan, but I'll shoot you last, okay?

- No, please, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me.

- Now, come on, kid.

Get up. Let's go.

- Fuck you, Uncle Gary.

- Good work, Charlie.

- Paul always said, "When all else fails, go for the balls."

- Jim. - We'll get an ambulance.

- Jim, I'm dying.

- You'll be okay.

- I'll be back from Hell if I have to!

I'll be back for you!

- He's dead.

- What a sick son of a bitch.

- Yeah, I know.

- You didn't believe that

come back from Hell stuff, did you, Jim?

- No, of course not.

I don't believe in vampires, werewolves, or ghosts.

* See I walk and I talk and I look like another *

* Well I'm lookin' to fight and I hope I'm not your brother *

* Well I am torch in the sand and I'm lookin' like a cheater *

* Gotta look when I play, I'm smokin' like a heater *

* Walk like a maniac, talk like a maniac *

* Look like a maniac

* Run like a maniac, fly like a maniac *

* Die like a maniac

* Walk like a maniac, talk like a maniac *

* Look like a maniac

* Run like a maniac, fly like a maniac *

* Die like a maniac

* And I still wanna rock as I sit here with my guitar *

* Look alive from the top

* I'm lookin' like a cheater, whoa *

* Gonna look when I play, I'm smokin' like a heater *

* Walk like a maniac, talk like a maniac *

* Look like a maniac

* Run like a maniac, fly like a maniac *

* Die like a maniac

* Walk like a maniac, talk like a maniac *

* Look like a maniac

* Run like a maniac, fly like a maniac *

* Die like a maniac

* Don't cry, look around

* I'm gonna be surrounded

* Capture the rapture

* Come back, don't go away

* 'Cause I'm a maniac

* See I walk and I talk and I look like another *

* And I love and the fight

* And I hope I'm not your brother *

* Like a torch in the sand, I'm look like a cheater *

* Gotta look when I play, I'm smokin' like a heater *

* Walk like a maniac, talk like a maniac *

* Look like a maniac

* Run like a maniac, fly like a maniac *

* Die like a maniac

* Walk like a maniac, talk like a maniac *

* Look like a maniac

* Run, die, 'cause I'm a maniac *

* Come back, don't go away

* 'Cause I'm the maniac

* See I walk and I talk and I look like another *

* Gotta look, gotta fight

* And I hope I'm not your brother *

* I'm a torch in the sand, I'm look like a cheater *

* Gotta look when I play, and I'm smokin' like a heater *

* Walk like a maniac, talk like a maniac *

* Look like a maniac

* Run like maniac, fly like a maniac *

* Die like a maniac

* Walk like a maniac, talk like a maniac *

* Look like a maniac

* Run, fly, 'cause I'm the maniac *