All language subtitles for Gossip Girl - S01E11 - Roman Holiday

Into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

How's your mom doing?
My dad left her
for another man.

Something about uh... uh,
mom and a neighbor?
Yeah. It's complicated.

Mom's having an affair.
It's easy for me to say it.
It happened one time,
and it's over.

Then why did our daughter
have to go to Hudson

and drag you back here?
I'm sorry I kissed you,
but I did it

because I thought he should know
how it feels to lose you.
So when can we go public?

My kids have to know first.

My friend Vanessa... she moved
away to Vermont last year,

and now she's back.
You guys just have
everything in common,

and, um, I'm just
getting to know him.

This thing between us...
It's over for good.

(Blair) Nate is a gentleman.
He would never cause a scene.

Where to, Mr. Bass?
The airport.

And who am I?

That's a secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me.

X.o.x.o., gossip girl.

(All) ♫ Santa, baby,
a '54 convertible, too ♫

♫ light blue ♫
♫ light blue ♫

Hey, upper east siders.
It's Christmas in New York,

and along with the season

comes the constance billard/
St. Jude's bazaar,

where the only thing bizarre
are the donated items for sale.

How about
an antique butter churn?

Oh, my gosh. That would go
so well with my loom.

I know what I'm getting you
for Christmas now.
All right.

(Laughs)
Oh, for when
I move to Siberia?

No.
Come on. New York
hardly even gets cold anymore,

and it never snows.
Who wants chestnuts

roasted on an open fire
when it feels like Florida?
Okay, global warming grinch.

I'm just saying, Christmas
should be white and snowy.

I'd even settle
for Manhattan slush.
Mm.

There you are.

Hey, Vanessa.
What are you doing here?
Hey.

Merry Christmas.
This is a copy
of "the new yorker."

Thank you, but you know
I already have a subscription.
There's something else
in there... a letter.

What does it say, Serena?

"Dear Mr. Humphrey,
we are pleased to advise you

"that we would like
to publish your short story

in our summer fiction issue
featuring '20 under 20.'"

it's a contest for young unknown
writers, and I might have...

Oh, my god!
Submitted you.

I'm gonna be published
in "the new yorker." That... oh.

This ca... this can't be real.
Is... is this... is this real?
This is so great.

I haven't even read
one of your stories.
Oh, don't worry.
He doesn't show them to anyone.

I swiped this one out
of his drawer on the pretense

of borrowing a stapler.
Slick. You never did return
that stapler, by the way.

Mnh-mnh.

Let's see.
You story is called "10-8-05."

What's that date?

Vanessa, thank you.
I don't know how you did this,

but this is
the best present ever.

(Choir) ♫ so hurry
down the chimney tonight ♫

♫ hurry tonight ♫

♫ Santa, baby ♫
(Cheers and applause)

I can't believe
we just took a cab for $32.

Well, I can't believe
you were gonna wait an hour

for another subway.
They said another train
was on its way.

Uh, excuse me. Pardon me.
Oh.

Oh. Rufus, Alison, hello.

Hi.

Oh, Rufus.

Uh, you remember
my friend Bartholomew bass?

Hi. From, uh, Eleanor's?
Yeah. Hello.

Eleanor's?
Oh, this is my wife Alison.

(Alison) Hi.
How do you do?

Well, it's lovely
to see you both.

Excuse us, please.

I guess Lily's targeted
her next billionaire.

Actually, I think she's had him
in her sights for a while.

Well, that was awkward.
It wouldn't be

if you let people know
what we were doing together.
I'm just starting
to trust you again.

And the only reason
you didn't trust me last time

was because
of a misunderstanding.
Yes, and to avoid another one,
please understand

that if it doesn't work out
between us again,

I'm gonna feel
twice as humiliated.

Not telling people about us
ensures that we don't work out.
(Sighs)

Look, when I committed
myself to you, I meant it.

You know I am in love with you.

What are you waiting for?

Blair.

Oh, happy holidays.

Happy holidays... mwah...
Ms. Van Der Woodsen.

Mr. Bass, I didn't think
that you were still in town.

I figured that you were with...
With Charles? No. Sadly,
I am stuck here on business

while he suns himself
at my hotel in Monaco.

I have my staff
keeping an eye on him,

and I'll join him
for new year's.

Oh, right.
I-i, uh, was wondering

why he'd been so quiet,
and Monaco answers my question.

Yeah.

Lovely to see you two. Bye.
You, too.

(Beeping)

(Beep)
Blair, there you are.

I-I can't talk right now,
Serena. I'm late, and I have...
A huge sweet tooth?

They're for my dad and me.
We get them every year,

and he landed from Paris
27 minutes ago.
Oh, then vite, vite!
I'll parle while you marche.

Come on. I said vite!

(Indistinct conversations)

Hey!

Nice holiday spirit, scrooge!

Oh, gosh. So it's gonna be
a real Waldorf Christmas?

Well, a real
Waldorf Christmas Eve.

Eleanor drew the line
at Christmas day.

That's only for me,
her and Dorota.
Well, you still have
a couple days with your dad.

No, it'll be more
than just a couple days.

I'm gonna convince him
to stay in New York.
What about Paris and Roman?

Roman is a phase.
My father belongs here with me.

He only left New York
to ride out the scandal.
Oh!

Time to come home,
don't you think?

Hey, did you want
to ask me something?
Yes, a gift idea for Dan
now that Vanessa got him

the most thoughtful
Dan-like present ever.
Why don't you just buy him
a new outfit for Cedric

and call it a day?
Thank you for being
totally not helpful at all.

See you tomorrow night.

Bye.

(Elevator bell dings)

Hi!

Blair-bear!

Oh!
Oh, look at you.

Mm. More beautiful than ever.

(Laughs)

Uh, sweetheart,

you remember Roman?

Blair.

Ah.
Mm.

You are still perfection.

Delicate, yet full with flavor,

like a macaron.

Imagine my surprise
when the elevator door opened

and out popped both of 'em.
(Chuckles)

Well, I didn't think you'd mind.

It's the perfect opportunity

for you two to get to know
each another better.

Absolutely.
It's for you.
Oh, sweetheart, you remembered.

It's, uh, our tradition.

That's for you.

Merci, Blair.

My pleasure.

(Swing jazz music playing)

My son, the writer.

(Alison) Published writer.
Yeah, you got your dream girl

and your story
in "the new yorker."

(Jenny) Maybe you should
just die now.
That's true. I may have peaked.

This one is from the smiths.

"Season's greetings."
That's very original.

Their name's Smith.
They don't have to be original.

This one is from, uh, Alex.

What?

"Alison, meet... meet me
on the 24th for..."
No, Dan.

And that's not a Christmas card.

(Opens card)

(Lowered voice)
Why is he writing to you?

Sending cards to the house?
Asking to see you?

I don't know.

Guys, we're... we're still here.
We can hear you.

Rufus, it's over
with Alex, okay?

I-i-I'm home now with my family.

Good.

(Sighs)

Let's all rewind and just
pretend this never happened.
(Clears throat)

This is not gonna ruin
our Christmas. Hmm?

(Speaking French)

I can't believe
you're okay with this.
Who said I am okay with this?

What am I supposed to do,
make a scene?

Behave like some pathetic,
scorned wife? No.

(Speaks French)
Roman does not even know
how to ice-skate.

Can't you escort him
out of the park

on your way to the meeting?
Maybe drop him at a nail salon?

I cannot bother myself trying
to wrestle Roman away from you.

I have to mentally prepare.

I am meeting with the c.E.O.
Of Victoria's secret, after all.
Victoria's secret?

Yes, I'm... I'm designing a line

of retro-chic sleepwear
and lingerie and I...
I'm looking forward
to the samples.

We're all very proud.

In fact, mom, why don't you
tell Roman all about it?
Oh, yes.

I'm sure he'd be fascinated.
(Speaks indistinctly)

It's so good
to have you here.
Well, it's good to be here.

Now where's the handsome Nate?
Am I gonna see him tonight?
Well, he's in Connecticut
with his mom.

He said he would try
to catch a train

another New York institution
that I miss.

You know, you don't
have to miss any of it.

Yeah, well, I wish that I could
be in two places at once,

my dear, but impossible.
Sorry.

You know that chateau near Lyon
that I told you about?

Mm-hmm.
Roman and I bought it.

You bought that place?
Yes.

And with Roman?

The house is flooded with light.

The fireplaces are big enough.
I mean, you can walk into them.

The gardens are incroyable.

Uh, pardon me.
I'm taking my niece skating,

and I can't seem
to locate the rink.

But it's...
It's right over there.

Of course. The throng
of children in mittens

should have tipped me off.
Thank you.

You're welcome.

The handsome man
was just flirting with you.

That's absurd.
He was not flirting with me.

Roman, it is
going to be so dull for you

to sit and watch them skate.
Yes. Why don't you go
to the petting zoo

and feed the sheep?

Or why don't I join you
on the rink? It looks fun.

Wonderful.

Yes. Super.

I'll get you skates.
See you there.

Super.

(The plush interiors)
♫ o Christmas tree ♫

♫ o Christmas tree ♫

You're not autographing those

and selling them on ebay,
are you?
No. No, no.

I'm just checking out some
of the previous publishees,

and I'm... I'm in great company
here. It's "the new yorker."

V., how can I top this?
I can't, really,

unless I rig the oscars
for one of your documentaries.

You got in on your own merit.

The only gift I gave you was
to lick a stamp, and as for me,

the annual Dan Humphrey
Christmas cd mix

is more than enough.
All right, yeah.

(Laughs)

Hi!

Hey.

What's in the bag?

Perfection.

Look, I know it's not Christmas
yet, but open it, please.

I can't wait.
I'm too excited.

Oh, my.

(Laughs)

I noticed the other day
that you don't wear a watch,

and then it occurred to me it's
because you don't have a watch,

and you're gonna need one to be
punctual for all the meetings

with editors and publishers
now that you're a fancy

and apparently,
self-important writer.

You don't like it.
You want the brown band.

No, no, no. I love the band.
I love the whole thing.

It's... it's the most amazing
watch I've ever seen,

but I can't accept this.

What? Oh, yes, you can.

Look, it's more of a gift for me

because I had so much fun
picking it out for you.

You have to.
Serena, I buy a book
for my dad every Christmas.

I think the most elaborate gift
I've ever given

has been a pair of rubber boots
from l.L. Bean.

So then I overdid it?

I think even your underdoing it

would be overdoing it.

Look, um, let's... let's...
Let's set some rules,

maybe some helpful guidelines.

Fine.

Deadline?

Um, tomorrow morning.

Price limit?

50 bucks.

All right.
May the best gift win.

(Lowered voice) Hey, um...
Hey.

If it's any help, I can tell you
Dan's favorite used book shop.

That's okay.
I think I got it.

♫♫

(Man) ♫ I need to sing a song
to you tonight ♫

Are you Alex?
Who are you?

Rufus Humphrey.

Unless you want
to be carried out of here,

you're gonna stay the hell away
from my wife.

Calm down now.

You sent a letter to my wife

at my house
where my children live?

Whatever you had with her
is over.

Why don't you sit down?
She told you
to leave her alone.

I'm sorry.

That's not what she told me
a couple days ago.

Excuse me. You...

You spoke to her?

(Mcguire sisters)
♫ "c" is for the candy trim ♫

♫ around the Christmas tree ♫

♫ "h" is for the happiness ♫

Damn it. You can do it.
You can do it.

Look at all these children.

They're skating around
fearlessly. Come on.
(Cell phone alert beeps)

They got
a lot shorter way to fall.
Blair, will you help us here?
We need you!

Just a second.
My laces came undone.

♫ "s" is for the stocking ♫

(Harold) Now here we go.

Ready? Now go to Blair.
Okay.

You can do it!
Blair!

Come give us a lesson.

Spotted spinning
at wollman rink...

The Blair capades. All
the grace of Nancy kerrigan,

but packing the punch
of Tonya Harding.

♫♫

(Harold) Pauvre Roman.

Ça va?

(Grunts)

Are you all right?

I'm so clumsy. My foot
got caught behind the skate.
Oh.

(Harold) Oh.
Here. Let me help you.

(Roman grunts)

(Elevator bell dings)
I cannot believe that daddy
decided to stay with Roman

instead of having tea
at the Carlyle with me.

The E.R. doctor said
he would make a full recovery.

Everything is ruined.

Why would you say that?
You and I had a marvelous time.

Well, I'm sorry, mother.
It's just not the same.

I don't understand how
that French fox stole my father

and your husband

and always seems to come off
like a-an innocent lamb.

Roman was not always
so innocent, you know.

Really? What's his story?

Mm, well, when I first met him,

he was going out
with this model named Freddy,

and Freddy was
a horrible scoundrel.
Roman would actually
be into somebody like that?

Into him? He was... he was
absolutely infatuated with him.

Freddy had him
under some kind of spell.

I was the one who got him
to break out of it

and turn his life around. Don't
mention Freddy to your father.

It is a sore subject.
Okay. What was
Freddy's last name?

Hey. Where were you?

I tried to call you,
but your phone was off.

I kept your date for you
with Alex.

He's actually a pretty cool guy

other than the fact
that he's in love with my wife.

He told me
about your phone call.

He... felt that I owed him
an explanation,

and he was right.

And you didn't tell me
that because...

Because there was
nothing to tell.

I told Alex
that I was back with my family

and to stop calling.

Would you have come back...

If Jenny hadn't shown up
to bring you?

If I hadn't,
would Lily be here right now?

I guess by turning our backs
on these other people,

we thought
we could fix ourselves.

Maybe other people
aren't the problem.

Maybe we changed.

And at what point do we admit

that no matter how much
we want it or how hard we try...

It's just not working.

I know it's been maybe
ten minutes since I last asked,

but are you still sure you don't
want to talk about it?
Dad said he didn't want
to ruin Christmas.

That's what
I'm trying to do.
Hey, well, just in case
you change your mind...

You're here. I know.

(The Dan band's
"christmaskwanzakah" playing)

Okay. How about this?

At least you know it's something
Serena doesn't have.

A year of cheese for $600?
Are these people kidding?

I could buy a cow for that much
money and make my own cheese.

You just said "make my own
cheese." That's disgusting.

I'm never gonna
find this gift for Serena.
Yeah, and your gift needs to be
especially good this year

to make up for the rest
of her Christmas.
What do you mean?

Well, she's living in a hotel.
You know, how homey can it be?

It's not exactly festive.

Eric told me
they don't even allow trees.

(Chuck) Leave a message,
and I might listen.
(Beep)

(Scoffs) Chuck,
you are not answering my calls,

to torture me, I am sure,
but please, for the love of god,

do not tell anybody
about us, okay?

Please? Please.

Hey. You told me
to come right away.

Is everything all right?
Yeah.

Why aren't you
with your dad?
Uh, I need your log-in
for your agency's site

from your modeling days.
My modeling days?

I did one print ad
for gap when I was 12.
(Computer beeps)

What, are you holding
an open call or something?

I have one specific look
in mind.

Uh, okay, well I don't know

if it'll still
even be in here, but...

(Typing)

Well, look at that.

Addresses and phone numbers.
Perfect.

You know, I called you an hour
ago. B.T.W., you're late.

Um, you're lucky
I'm even here at all.

It's Christmas Eve, and I still
haven't found a gift for Dan.

Now all the stores are closing,
and I'm totally screwed.

Do you have any idea
what you can buy

for under $50 these days?
I don't know. A single entrée
at a mid-priced restaurant?

Three-quarters of a DVD box set?

Maybe a pair
of wolford stockings.

Oh, stockings.
Yes, great idea for Dan.

Blair, please, this is serious.

I don't know. Why don't you buy
him a gold money clip

from cartier, say it's $49.99?
He won't know the difference.

(Beeping)

What are you doing anyway?

(Phone rings)

I'm booking me a model.

(Ring)

(The Republic tigers)
♫ deck the halls ♫

♫ with boughs of Holly,
fa la la la la ♫

(Knocks on counter)

Hey.

I come to you hat in hand,
tail between my legs

and off my high horse.
(Chuckles)

I spent the entire day searching
for the perfect gift for Dan.

Now all the stores are closing,
Christmas day is looming,

and, um...
I need your help.

I could take this opportunity
to gloat,

but I actually like you.

So let's get down to business.
What do you have so far?

Um, I found a first edition
j.L. Hall book,

original Italian poster
of the "400 blows"

and a montblanc fountain pen.
All very thoughtful.

And all exceed $50.

Right.

Well, Dan's not really
that into things.

Which makes shopping for him
kind of hopeless.

The only thing he wants
for Christmas is snow.

It's not like
I can give him that.

You sure?

♫♫

(Eleanor) Happy holidays.

Welcome. Welcome.
(Makes kissing sounds)

(Lily) Oh! Hi. Hi.
Hi. I don't know
if you've noticed.

We're doing things a little
untraditionally this year.

I don't know if you've heard.

I'm designing a line of lingerie
for Victoria's secret.

I walked into the store, and I
fell in love with this tree.

Isn't that lipstick clever?
Isn't it?

Good. Have some eggnog.
("Deck the halls"
ringtone plays)

Hello?
(Rufus) Hey. It's me.

Hey.
So, uh, running into each other
at the school fair...

Kind of awkward.

I suppose so, especially
after our last phone call.

Rufus, we really
shouldn't be speaking.

No, I know.

But if there's something
you want to say,

you should go ahead and say it.

Is there something
you want me to say?

Rufus...

Why are you calling?

Oh, I...

Just wanted to say
merry Christmas.

Hope you have a good holiday.

(Indistinct conversations)

Yes, well...

I'm, um, flying to Anguilla
with Bart tonight,

so I'm expecting it
to be a-a great holiday...

One for the ages, in fact.

Good night, Rufus.
Good-bye.

(Whispers) Anguilla.

What is the matter with me?

(Instrumental "jingle bells"
playing)

(Laughs)
I don't think so. Oh.

Oh. Excuse me.

What are you doing here?
Well, I was hoping
to see you again.

I thought it great good fortune
that Roman tracked me down

at the skating rink
and extended an invitation.

Oh, well...

En... enjoy the party.

Hmm.

How dare you invite
a strange man into my home.

Jack came?

Go talk to him.

Bring vodka.
Roman...

(Whispers) You practically
picked him up off the street.

And then I googled him.
His name is Jack roth.

He owns a prominent hedge fund

with offices
in London and Barcelona,

and he finds you
very attractive.

Well, that's no excuse,

and... and... and I am
doing just fine

without your romantic help.

Are you?

Mm-hmm.

Eleanor, we've been friends
for a long time...

(Scoffs)

Since before Marc Jacobs
went into rehab.

Friends don't steal
other friends' husbands.

Is Nate there?

Oh. A few hours ago?

Chuck bass didn't call for him,
did he?

Uh, never mind.
Did Nate say where he was going?

No, no. Don't... don't disturb
Mrs. Archibald.

Um, I'm sure
he's on his way here now.

All right. Thank you.

Dorota's gonna kill you if you
get glue on that comforter.

Sorry we've turned your room
into an art studio, b.,

but the clock is ticking.
(Computer beeps)

I'm done.

Wow.

(Laughs) Oh, my gosh.

Wow. That... that's amazing.

(Chuckles)

Thank you so much, Vanessa.
This is gonna be... incredible.

Good.
I'm glad I could help.

I think he'll really love it.

Vanessa?

I think I'd like to help
with this little project.

Would you come and help me
find another pair of scissors?

It's so nice what you're doing
for your friend Dan,

helping his girlfriend
make his Christmas present.

Serena is so grateful

because she likes to see
the best in people.

I like to see the truth.

Yeah? And what's that?

I think you like Dan
a little too much.

Just thought I should
let you know

someone's watching.

Merry Christmas.

I'm taking off.
Call me when you're done?

Okay. Where you going?

I'm gonna go check
on my daddy.
I thought
you were gonna help.

I think my work's done here.
Oh, hello.

Hi.
Good-bye. When you two
are done hiding up here,

I'm taking you both
out for dessert.
Can't, mom. I'm busy.

But this is important
for our family.

It'll just
be the three of us.
Mom, anytime you say
it'll just be the three of us,

it means you're dating
someone new. Whoever it is,

I don't care. I'll just
meet him at the wedding.
Fine, fine.

Then I will
just tell you who it is,

because you're gonna be
seeing him around from now on.

It's Bart bass.
(Eric and Serena) Bart bass?

Mom, you cannot date Bart bass.

You just said a moment ago
you didn't care who it was.
That was before
I knew who it was.

He only has one
facial expression. He scares me.

And he raised Chuck.
That scares me.

Oh, Serena, as usual,
you're being overly dramatic.

I'm not marrying Bart.

This is very casual,

and regardless, I'm not
asking your permission.

You know
when I suggested this plan,

I didn't know that
it would entail a robbery.
Hey, hey, hey.
I left a donation.

So it was more of a rescue
than a robbery.

You know, those abandoned trees
in that lot

were just gonna be kindling
the day after Christmas,

and this tree that we have here
is gonna be loved and admired.

Oh, yeah, you have a real talent
for spin, my brother. Okay.

I wish I had more talent
for heavy lifting.
Oh.

Oh.
Yeah, well, what you're doing
for Serena is really romantic.

I wonder what mom and dad

are getting each other
for Christmas.

I thought that if I got them
under the same roof

that things would go back
to the way they were.

They haven't, have they?

I think
there's a real possibility

that they might split up.

If I hadn't brought her back,
though,

we could've just kept pretending

that she's just in Hudson
doing her art.

You did the right thing, Jen.

Really, you did,
'cause whatever happens now,

at least, uh, we're not
living in a fantasy, you know?

(Phone beeping)

(Instrumental "joy to the world"
playing)

Wonderful party, Eleanor.

So you... ice-skate?

Occasionally, with my niece,

but she's much more talented
than I am.

(Clears throat) Well,
I haven't skated since ages,

but I used to love it
when I was a girl.

You must have been very
beautiful out there on the ice.
(Elevator bell dings)

Oh, thank you.

Excuse me.

Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.

(Chuckles) Excuse me.

Freddy, what on earth
are you doing here?
Oh, Roman invited me.

(Eleanor) What?

Freddy, what...
What are you doing here?

He said
that you invited him.
What?

(Beeping)

Freddy.

Roman, explain this.

I can't.

And so true. How does one
explain the indescribable pull

to see an old lover, to feel
that jolt of electricity?

So you couldn't last two days
in town without contacting him?

I can't believe you'd trust
appearances and not me.

Harold, dear, I...
Roman did not invite Freddy.

I think Blair did.

Blair?

(Sighs)

Freddy...

If you want to be the featured
model in my spring catalog,

you'd better tell us the truth.

She might have offered
to buy me a cruise...

Oh.

And renew my gym membership.

(Chuckles) Well, you might
as well take that cruise,

because you'll be featured
in my catalog

when hell freezes over.

Now please, get out.
Thanks for the champagne.

Merry Christmas.

Looks like daddy's little girl

isn't sugar and spice
and everything nice after all.

And let her be.
Well, I just can't believe

that Blair would
do something so cruel,

and to Roman, who's only ever
been completely kind to her.

It isn't Roman Blair's
lashing out at... it's you.

She was so looking forward
to spending time with you alone,

and then you show up
at our doorstep with your lover,

without a word of warning.
How did you expect her to react?

Well, I hoped
that once we were together,

it would all work out.

(Scoffs)

I suppose that was pretty naive.

Blair learned scheming
from her mother

and unrealistic dreaming
from her father.

She tries really hard
to act all grown-up,

but don't you be fooled.

She's still a little girl
who needs her daddy.

(Sighs)

(Grunts)
Okay, stop, stop, stop. Ow.

Okay. What now?

(Grunts)
Now you go in there,

you distract Dexter,
the humorless concierge...
Okay.

While I try and sneak this
into an elevator.
All right, um, who's gonna
turn you into Hercules

so you can carry this thing
by yourself?
(Groans) I did... I did not say
the plan was foolproof.

(Jenny) Yeah.

Hey, Ms. Van Der woods...
Lily, hi.

Dan. Jenny. Tree.
Hi.

Yeah, um, they don't allow
Christmas trees inside,

which is why we're out here.

Which is why Dan's
about to ask you for a favor.

Ah, does it involve
distracting Dexter

and sneaking
into the elevator?
Why? Would that work?

No. Never.
He has the eyes of a hawk,

and he takes his job
very seriously.

So I've noticed.

But Bobby
at the service entrance...

I think he could be bought.

Come.

I just sent him a text,
and Dan's on his way. (Squeals)

Thank you so much.
It's really no problem,

and since there are
no problems, I should go.

Oh, no, no, no.
Stay, please.

You don't need me. We talked
about how to turn everything on.

No, I know I can do it, but I
just want you to see Dan's face.

I've really gotta get going.
Okay. Well, I'll tell him
how much you did.

Please don't.
It's your present.

Just... enjoy your night.

(Beep)

(Cell phone rings)

(Nate) Hey, this is Nate.
I can't come to the ph...
(Beep)

Can I come in?

Our flight leaves
in a few hours.

I wanted to say good-bye.

(Sighs)

Please forgive me, Blair.

I should have told you
that I was bringing Roman.

I knew that having him here
would be hard for you,

but I love you so much,
and I love Roman,

and I was hoping that
if we were all thrown together,

that something...
Perfect would happen

and that you
would love him, too.

I was gonna convince you
to move back to New York,

but you bought a vineyard

in France with Roman.

What's next,
a commitment ceremony?

(Scoffs) Great.

There's no room in your life
for me anymore.

Sweetheart,
there is always room for you.

No matter where I am,
no matter who I'm with.

I, uh...

This is part
of your Christmas gift.

(Band of horses'
"the general specific" playing)

(Blair)
Your house in France.

It's very nice, daddy.

I'm sure you and Roman
will totally enjoy it.

And so will you,

because this...
(Gasps)

Is your room.

♫ I hardly believed it at all ♫

It's beautiful.

We're having it decorated
just for you.

(Chuckles) A cat.

A cat named "cat,"
like in your favorite movie.

It was Roman's idea.

♫ Plants and animals ♫

So... merry Christmas,
sweetheart.

We're hoping that you'll spend
the whole summer with us.

♫ Was coming on ♫

♫ only for ♫

♫ you ♫

Merry Christmas.

Do you like it?
Do you think it's cheesy?

(Giggles)

No.

No, no, it's... it's incredible.

How did you do this?

Well, I had help from my elves.

♫ That I know ♫

♫ and running a blender
in a lightning storm ♫

♫ disguised as a blessing,
I'm sure ♫

Your present
is waiting for you at home,

but, um, I did bring
a little pre-present for you.

♫ Up here ♫

♫ there comes
a fork in the road ♫

♫ the pants have gotta go ♫

Wait. This is your story.
Yeah, it's the original.

It's right out
of the spiral notebook.

I'm kinda scared to read it.

What happened
on October 8th, 2005?

Um...

Well, I was accidentally invited

to a birthday party
where I met a girl.

She only spoke
two sentences to me,

but I've never forgotten her.

Wait. Your story's about me?

♫ Gonna wash my bones ♫

♫ in the Atlantic shore ♫

♫ only for ♫

♫ you and me ♫

Are we really gonna do this?

Yeah.

The arts and crafts
were impressive,

but how did you manage
the real snow?

I'm well-connected.
(Laughs)

This is, without question,
the best Christmas ever.

Ever in the history
of Christmas.

I hate to break the spell,

but, uh, we better get home
before our families wake up.

(Whispers) Eleanor...
Hmm?

You are a marvel.

Oh, stop it. Mmm.

(Whispering) Who knew
there were men like you

wandering around
central park, lost?
(Laughs)

(Normal voice) Oh.

Eleanor, good morning,

and, Jack, nice to see you.
Good morning.

Yes, wonderful.

The flights were all canceled
because of the weather.

I wanted to tell Blair
in person.

Do not worry. We... we have a room
at the Pierre.

No, it's nonsense.
You... you'll stay with us.

Thank you.

You'll call me later?

Oh, yes.

I'll be spending Christmas
with my... family.

Bye.

What's going on?

We're back for Christmas.

Well, Roman,
you are in for a treat,

because a Waldorf Christmas
is like no other.

(Chuckles)

Come on, you.

Oh.

Whew. Merry Christmas, dad.
You're up early.

And you're getting in
awfully late.
Oh, yeah, well,
I left you a message.

Saying the tree shenanigans
were taking all night,

but I didn't think you meant
literally all night.

Oh. Yeah, uh, yeah, the tree.
It was a big production.

Uh, luckily Serena's mom was
there to help with the plan.

Lily was there?

I thought you mentioned
she was out of the country.
No. No, they're here.

They're gonna go see
"the nutcracker" tomorrow.
(Jenny) Do I smell
chocolate chip waffles?

(Rufus)
With hot caramel sauce.
Your father's
Christmas specialty.

Dan,
pass the chocolate chips.
Good morning.

Good morning. (Giggles)
After breakfast and presents,

I need to go to the gallery...
(Alison) Mm.

To take care of some stuff.
On Christmas morning?

Well, yeah, you know,
art never sleeps.

But you know what? The three
of us could hang out together.

It'll be great. We'll drink
hot cocoa and watch a movie,

and then when your dad comes
back, we can all go for a walk.

Hear those silver bells?
It's christmastime in the city.

Some families actually do
make the yuletide gay,

managing to leave
their troubles far away...

Mom. Oh, it's beautiful.
Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, look.
You look like
a brunette Catherine Deneuve.

Quelle magnifique.
(Blair) It's so gorgeous.

Merry Christmas, Dorota.
It's so we can text.

(Laughs)

Do you like it?
Thank you, miss Blair.

Other families have
a merry little Christmas

even when their troubles
aren't so far away...

So what did dad have to do
at the gallery, exactly?

Uh, paperwork, I-I think.

(The weepies)
♫ Carols 'cross the water ♫

You're going back to Hudson,
aren't you?

♫ All that I want ♫

Yeah.

♫ All that I want ♫

But, hey, we are gonna be okay.

Come here.

♫ Above the rooftops ♫

We know.

I'm sorry.

♫ Golden spoon ♫

♫ I wait on clip-clops ♫

Some presents might end up
getting returned...

I know how you like Florida.

Yeah. Wow.

Uh, number one fan.

Ah. (Laughs)

You know, I'm... I'm sorry
I didn't get anything for you,

Mr. Bass, but, uh, I didn't know
you'd be coming for Christmas.

Ah, no worries, Eric.
Please, call me Bart.

But some gifts are for keeps.

For you.
Thank you.

Eric, Serena,

I just want you to know

that I have deep feelings
for your mother.

("Deck the halls" ringtone
plays)
Mom, your phone.

Oh.
Uh, Lily, you're not gonna want
to interrupt this moment.

(Ringtone continues playing)

(Beep)

Other presents come
when you least expect them.

♫ The world grows older ♫

Hey, lil. You know everything's
closed on Christmas?

Diners that claim
to be open 24/7...

It's false advertising.

♫ All that I want ♫

And everyone knows

the biggest present
comes in the smallest box.

So, uh, Alison's leaving.

She's spending time alone
with the kids.

And I seem to have walked
all the way from Brooklyn

to your doorstep

without a jacket, in the snow.

So what the hell?

I miss you...

And I have been missing you
for a while.

♫ All that I want ♫

Lily...

Would you do me the honor
of being my wife?

(Cell phone alert beeps)

(Eleanor, Roman, Dorota)
Fromage!
Cheese!

Ah, perfect.

(Cell phone alert rings)

Then there are those boxes

you wish you had never opened...

(Eleanor) Oh, I like the pa...

Have a Holly jolly Christmas.
(Beep)

X.o.x.o., gossip girl.