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♪ There is more to life Than what you're living ♪
♪ So take a chance And face the wind ♪
♪ An open road And a road that's hidden ♪
♪ A brand-new life Around the bend ♪
♪ There were times ♪
♪ I lost a dream or two ♪
♪ Found the trail ♪
♪ And at the end was you ♪
♪ There's a path we take And a path not taken ♪
♪ The choice is up to you My friend ♪
♪ Nights are long But you might awaken ♪
♪ To a brand-new life A brand-new life ♪
♪ A brand-new life Around the bend ♪♪
All right.
Three seconds left in the game.
Blue, 21. Hut one, hike!
Micelli fades back.
He tries to find a receiver.
Can he find her... yes!
He throws the ball to... Micelli, and it's...
Dropped in the end zone?
Sorry, Dad.
What do you mean you're sorry?
We were on our way to the Super Bowl.
I don't feel like playing anymore.
Hey, come on. I was just kidding.
It wasn't the Super Bowl,
it was the Rose Bowl.
Forget it.
Boy, those wide receivers are so sensitive.
Honey...
Well, that was a quick game.
Hey, hey, hey, honey. Forget about it.
We'll work on it. We got all next season.
You know, you just gotta tuck the ball
into your chest.
But, Dad, it hurts when I catch it like that.
Since when?
Come on, it doesn't hurt if you do it right.
I've got homework to do.
Gee, how do you like that?
Sam would rather do homework than play football.
You think she's sick?
Maybe you were throwing the ball
too hard, Popeye.
Well, I yam what I yam.
No, I'm throwing it the way I always throw it.
Maybe she's losing interest in football.
Sam could punt before she could walk.
Tomboys do grow up, you know.
And out.
Out. Oh, you mean... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
And she can't tuck the ball in
the way she used to because... Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh...
What is this? What is this uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh...?
What is it? What? What are you talking about?
Well, Tony...
when girls get to be a certain age,
their bodies begin to change...
Angela, Angela...
I know about the birds and the bees.
But the birds and the bees don't wear bras.
Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me
that Sam needs a bra?
Are you serious?
Cross my heart.
She's just a little girl.
Yes, well, so was Elizabeth Taylor,
but one day she was National Velvet
and the next day she was Cleopatra.
And she will be 12 the day after tomorrow.
All right, look, hey.
I'll get her one when the time comes.
I believe the time has come,
and I think the stores are open.
Come on.
All of her little friends
are beginning to wear them,
and she even talked to me about it.
You? Why didn't she talk to me?
Well, isn't it obvious, dear?
She needed a role model.
Hey, hey, hey, yo.
How come she didn't talk to me? I'm her father.
Tony, a girl usually talks to a woman
about these things, and if you'd like,
I'd be glad to help Sam go shopping.
No, no, no. That's all right. That's all right.
No problem. Hey, I bought her a fishing rod.
I bought her hockey skates.
I'll buy her a bra.
Tony, listen. It's not quite the same thing.
They were ladies' skates.
Don't touch it
if you're not going to wear it.
I was, uh... I was...
I was just looking for a bra.
I mean, for my daughter.
And what size is she?
I don't know. She takes
a five-and-a-half hockey skate.
I don't know. She's a 12-year-old girl's size.
I take it this is her first foundation garment?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. Mine too.
I mean, it's the first time
I ever bought a... foundation garment.
I got it.
This is our most popular pre-teen model.
This is?
Looks like a surgical bandage.
Does your daughter need something larger?
No, I mean, if you ask me,
my daughter doesn't need anything...
I mean, unless you've got something
that'll help her catch a football.
This one's very popular with the Green Bay Packers.
Here's a pretty one with a little pink bow.
No, no, no...
It's too fancy. I don't like that stuff.
But you're not buying it for yourself, are you?
You're thinking like a man,
and you should be thinking like a 12-year-old girl.
I'm having a hard time thinking like a 30-year-old father.
Well, maybe next time
you should bring your daughter with you.
That's what all the other single fathers do.
Uh, tell you what. This one will be fine.
An excellent choice.
It's the one I started out in.
Would you like a bag?
Oh, no, no. I think I just want to get outta here.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I think I will take a bag.
Thank you very much. It's very nice of you.
See ya.
You're doing a great job, sweetheart.
Hi, honey.
Hi, Dad.
Long time since we talked, huh?
We talked this morning, remember?
You asked me how I wanted my eggs,
and I said, "over-easy."
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was great. That was great.
I mean "talk" talk.
When people reach a certain age, honey,
they begin to, um...
they begin to have trouble catching footballs.
Well... well, not all people. Just girls.
No, women. Women.
Here.
Oh.
I knew it.
I knew she didn't want one of those.
I knew it.
Well, no... I wanted one like Marcie's,
with the little pink bow in the middle.
You wanted the pink bow? Why?
Because everyone's gonna see it.
Hey, who's gonna see it?
Everyone.
All the girls at gym class
and at the slumber parties.
Oh.
Dad, you just don't understand.
You have to have the little pink bow.
All right, look, I'll go someplace else
and I'll get you one with the bow.
Why don't you just take that one back
to where you got it?
Oh, no, no, no... Whoa.
We'll go someplace else,
but this time, you gotta go with me.
Dad...
Remember when we went shopping for hockey skates?
Yeah?
That was fun because
you know a lot about hockey skates.
I mean, you even wear 'em yourself, right?
Yeah?
I'll bet Angela doesn't know a thing
about hockey skates.
You want Angela to take you, huh?
Thanks, Dad. You're the best.
At almost everything.
I gotta break this in real good.
Sam's gonna love this glove. Oh, boy.
Sam keeps asking about what you got her
for her birthday.
You didn't tell her, did you?
Uh-uh. I didn't tell her.
Ah, that's my boy, my tiger, ha.
I didn't know until now.
Wise guy.
Ooh, it's them.
Hi. Tony... we had the best time.
We picked up Mother, we all went into the city.
We went to Bloomingdale's, We went to lunch...
Did you get a bra?
Yeah, and so did Samantha.
Angela, I owe you. I really owe you.
I appreciate this,
and when Jonathan's ready to go to mud wrestling,
I'm your man.
Well, Thank you. I'll keep it in mind.
Okay. Is everybody here? Is everybody ready?
Wha... wha... what's going on?
Come on, Tony, sit down.
Let's sit down.
Ready? Now... Ta-da!
That's Sam in that dress.
Isn't she gorgeous?
Don't you like it, Dad?
You look so grown up.
Oh, she looks beautiful.
Come on, Sam, let's go up and take that dress off.
We don't want any wrinkles before the birthday party.
Thank you, Mrs. B... Angela.
Grandma, did you get me something?
Well, of course I did.
Clothes or good stuff?
Clothes. Be grateful.
How could you do that to her?
She wanted you to love that dress.
Yeah, well, it's a great dress, but you got the wrong kid in it.
Tony, don't spoil it for her.
She looks so beautiful, and she's so proud of herself.
Angela, that's not my Sam up there.
What'd you do to my little girl?
Tony, I feel as though I should be apologizing,
but I'm not sure for what.
Well, Sam's just too young
for them fancy clothes you bought her.
Well, she's not gonna play Little League forever.
That's fine, but let me tell you something.
That dress is going back.
Wait a minute. You can't take that dress back.
That's my birthday gift to her.
Fine, fine. You bought her a birthday gift.
Fine. You bought her a dress. Fine.
And a robe.
Some shoes...
and a little purse. I couldn't resist it,
and inside, it had a lipstick and a perfume.
You're turning her into Joan Collins.
Tony, I think you're overreacting just a little.
Oh, no, I'm not.
I saw all the eye gunk you put on her.
It's just a little eyeliner... for fun.
Oh, Tony,
I've never been shopping with a little girl before.
Maybe I got carried away.
Yeah, maybe you did.
You tried to turn my Samantha into a woman overnight.
I'm not turning her into a woman... nature is.
Yeah, well, nature didn't take her to Bloomingdale's.
And nature didn't dress her up like little Miss Connecticut.
Oh, what's wrong with that?
Isn't that why you brought her here?
So she could have some of these things?
Angela... I don't think Jonathan is in love
with his monogrammed handkerchiefs.
He's making little parachutes out of them...
for his hamster.
Hey, Angela,
I know you meant well with those clothes,
but they're all going back.
Going back?
Wait a minute, Tony. You can't do that.
You're going to break her heart.
Hey, listen, the two of you.
That's my daughter up there,
and I know her better than both of you put together,
so she's being real polite about this,
but that just ain't her up there, all right?
A lot of parents just can't let their kids grow up.
Sam, honey?
Dad!
What's the matter?
I'm trying on some of my new clothes,
and I'm not fully dressed.
Do you want me to help you with some of your zippers?
No. No. I can do it myself.
Okay.
Did you want to see me?
I just came up to tuck you in.
Really, Dad, I'm getting too old to be tucked in.
What do you think?
It's nice.
Nice? I love it!
Look, look, look.
You have to wash this in the delicate cycle.
I'm glad you pointed that out.
I might have spun-dry it.
Gee, I...
I guess you're really growing up, huh?
Well, I'll be 12 tomorrow.
I mean, we're talking full price at the movies.
Then we're talking half as many movies.
I'll still kiss you good night.
I'll take what I can get.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, baby.
Tony baked Sam the most beautiful birthday cake.
Mmm.
Isn't that great?
Mm-hmm. Well, you're the advertising biggie.
Now, Angela, I want you to think
of something witty, poignant, and clever
to let this little girl know
how we really feel about her.
How about "Happy Birthday, Sam"?
You know, it's not easy admitting you were wrong...
Are you saying you were wrong?
No. Uh, but I might not be as right as I thought I was.
What happened?
I go up to kiss Sam good night.
She tells me she's too old to be tucked in.
I mean, before you know it, you know,
she'll fall in love, she'll get married...
I'll dance Daddy's Little Girl, and she'll be gone forever.
Don't you think you're jumping the gun a little bit?
She's not even interested in boys.
Yet. Just wait. It's happening fast, man.
Oh, Tony. Don't worry about it. Really.
One minute they're all grown up,
and the next, they bounce right back to being a kid.
I remember when Angela was in the sixth grade...
Mother, don't tell that story.
Look, Angela, I had the misery of raising you,
at least let me get a few laughs out of it, huh?
So Angela met this yo-yo named Lester Bundy...
Oh, Mother, he wasn't that bad.
He was kinda cute in his crossing guard uniform.
Well... anyway, she came home from school,
and she said to me that she was a woman in love,
and she gave away all of her dolls
to the Salvation Army,
and then, old yo-yo Lester
dumped her for a hot little hall monitor.
The tramp.
Well, anyway...
Anyway, Mother went down to the Salvation Army
and she got all my dolls back.
Mm-hmm. But not before they gave me
a bowl of hot turkey soup
and a sermon on the evils of Muscatel.
Huh. Well, Mona, that's a great story.
It really cheered me up.
Yeah, I can see that,
and it embarrassed my daughter, so my work's done for the day.
Hello, mini-people.
Hey, what are you two doing up?
We're trying to hear birthday talk.
No, we're not.
We just want a glass of milk.
Don't we, Jonathan?
Get your milk and hit the road.
Come on, let's hustle up. Get to bed.
We're hustling.
After you, ladies.
Oh, she's a beauty.
She's a regular Brooke Shields.
I guess I gotta admit she looks kinda cute in a robe.
Oh, and it had the cutest little pair
of matching slippers.
Don't press your luck, Angela.
Good night, Mother.
Thank you for everything.
Oh, good night, dear. Good night, Tone.
Good night, Mone.
Go, go, can you see it?
It's chocolate! I win!
Let me taste it.
Oh, heaven... Mmm. Oh, that's good.
You know what my father's getting me
for my birthday, don't you?
Y... yeah.
But I can't tell.
Is it a car?
No.
Is it an airplane?
No.
Is it a second baseman's glove?
Uh-oh.
It is! It is! All right!
That's what I wanted more than anything!
Oh, I'm so happy, ha! Ooh.
She got me again.
Yeah.
I better face it.
Oh, the next couple of years... they're gonna be tough. Oh...
I know. It's not easy raising them alone, is it?
Sure, what do I know about raising a... a young lady?
I mean, you know, I know the streets of Brooklyn,
second base, and all six uses for Easy-Off. That's it.
Tony, come on. You know your daughter.
I'm not so sure, Angela.
I'm the one who bought her a baseball glove
for her birthday.
I can't give her that now.
I gotta give her something
that shows her I understand she's growing up.
Tony, that's a wonderful idea.
So, you know, I... I guess I could use some help
from somebody who knows about these things...
somebody who gave up everything for a crossing guard.
Well... since you asked, I've been thinking about it.
What about a beautiful little necklace
to go with the clothes?
Real grown up, huh?
Yeah.
I'll take back the glove.
I'm proud of you, Tony.
You're gonna make it through puberty after all.
And I thought the first time was tough.
Here, Sam, this one's from me.
Oh, thank you, Jonathan.
Oh, look, everybody.
Reptile Weekly.
Thank you, Jonathan.
Oh, gosh, that's nice, huh?
And look here. If you renew your subscription now,
you will receive a free alligator.
It'll be here Wednesday.
Wonderful.
Well, Sam...
I guess that's it for presents.
Oh, come on, Dad. There might just be one more.
Where are you hiding it?
Here it is, honey.
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
I hope you like it.
Angela helped me pick it out.
You know, it's to wear
with all them fancy clothes you got.
Ah? Hey, easy there.
Isn't that beautiful?
Thanks, Dad.
Tony, where's the real present?
You have something else for me?
You want something else?
If it's the something else I think it is.
I think you're getting two presents, Sam.
Which hand? Which hand?
Gimme it!
My new mitt!
Thanks, Dad!
Ooh, you're welcome, Tiger. She likes it. She likes it!
Nothing will get by me now.
I thought you took the mitt back.
I couldn't. I already oiled it.
All right, all right, hey.
All right. It's a fly ball to the second baseman Micelli.
And... Three outs!
We win the series,
and I get the best-dressed second baseman in the majors.
Mmm, I love you.
Mmm, it's great out there.
Yeah.
That looks good.
Mmm, it is good.
Would you please get your hand out of my salad?
Dad, this new mitt is really great.
Me and the guys had a fantastic game.
Yeah, did you win?
No, we lost 12-2.
So, what's so fantastic?
I'll get that.
I'll get it. It's for me.
Hello.
Hi, Bobby.
Oh, sure, I'll help you with your fielding.
Okay. All right. Bye.
He's a klutz, but he is so cute! Oh!
Aw...
Here, eat salad.
Hey, who's this Bobby? Bring him around.
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